Kristen plopped the last piece of her granola bar in her mouth and leaned back in her chair.  With her legs crossed, one foot planted on the ground, she swiveled her chair side to side reading the papers in her hand.  Sighing, she rolled her neck on her shoulders to loosen the stiff muscles that were starting to kick in.

"This is too much math." Kristen mumbled to herself once her eyes hit the printed diagram with numbers.  Glancing at the clock, she groaned at how slow time was moving.  With her pen, she slid her calculator towards her and started punching the numbers together.  Hitting the equal button, she tapped the top of the pen against her lips.
"Hmm...we'll be hitting under the budget...that is always good."  She mumbled to herself.  Propping her elbow on her desk, she rested her chin against her hand and dropped the papers on the desk.

She swung one of her legs, her shoe dangling dangerously from her toes.  She looking up and her eyes came across a picture of her, Brittney, Kara and Ashley, the year everything went down hill for her.  Staring at the picture, she could remember it like it was yesterday.  The four hung out just about every day; they were inseparable.  People thought they were all sisters; they could read each other like a book.  To everyone else, it might have freaked them out with how close those four were, but to them, it didn't.  It made sense to them.  Having sleepovers every weekend, all of them going to Kara's basketball games, Brittney's soccer games and Kristen's softball games, many mall trips, movie nights just pigging out on ice-cream, they were inseparable....Than John came along.  Kristen sighed softly as she continued to look at the picture.  Life seemed, so perfect than.  She had an amazing boyfriend and the most amazing four best friends anyone could ask for, than, everything fell apart.  Her mother started to drink all the time, Kristen still couldn't figure out why her mother hated her life, but she was happy.  Her mom finally turned it around and their relationship was blossoming again.  Kristen propped her head with her other arm and blinked slowly.  Than, Ashley was killed; by a drunk driver running a red light.  She shook her head slowly, fighting back the tears that wanted to slip out.  She remembered that day clearly, she knew right where she was when she got the news about Ashley's death.  Kristen opened her eyes slowly and looked back at the picture.  It felt like someone stabbed a knife in her heart.  John was barley there for her, that's when the relationship went sour.  He would drag her out of the house when all she wanted to do was wallow with her pain and suffering in her bed.  He forced her to do things she didn't want to do.  He wouldn't let her hang with Brittney and Kara much without him there or calling her every five seconds to see what she was doing, than flip out when she didn't answer her phone.  She just lost her best friend, what the hell was wrong with him...than it hit her...He wasn't there for her during that hard time of her suffering with Ashley's death.  Kristen sat up a bit and started to chew on her bottom lip.  Why didn't she see it before?  It should have been her sign, her sign that told her to leave him before it got worse, but no...She listened to her heart, not her head.

She shook her head and rubbed her arms as the goose bumps started to appear and her light tan skin.  John.  The name still gave her the creeps every time she heard it.  He ruined her and he knew it.  He enjoyed watching her suffer and be in pain.  She knew she should of listened to her friends; they all had an odd feeling about him since day one, but there had never been any real difficulty in deciding what to do.  It had always been easy to find correct solutions for there were so few correct answers.  Whenever he was near, she found herself weakening.  She couldn't move her gaze from his face.  Supposedly, she was the one who was hard and cold, but in his presence she became confused; she the victim, he the oppressor.  Silently she would scream; begging him to stay; she thought her head would burst from the pain.  When she finally left him, it took a long time for her power to return.  He made all the decisions for her, but she didn't know what to do.  She just didn't know. Indecision had never been a problem before. She had always known what she wanted to do and how to do it, but he ruined that part of her.  He ruined all of her.  He made her feel dirty, dumb, disgusted, weak, and horrible.  He made her hate her life and herself.

Looking up, she blinked a couple of times and shook her head.  No..It couldn't be..?  Could it..?  She opened her eyes again and held the breath in her chest, seeing him sitting there in front of her.  His dark brown hair, his brown eyes pricing in hers, the smirk across his lips...He knew he won and had all the power in his hands.  Kristen stared at him, not believing what was in front of her and all the pain that just rushed through her body.  All of a sudden, she felt cold, her palms started to sweat and she felt her blood run cold in her veins.  Her chest tightened and she couldn't breathe...He was right there, in front of her with the same smirk on his face every time he knew he won.  He knew just how to ruin her, defeating her everyway possible, by beating her, and threaten her and her friends if she spoke a word, and bringing her down with the words he would tell her.  She could feel her bones and flesh just start aching from the pain of the blows he forced on her.  Staring into his ice stare, she shook her head, closing her eyes tight.  Sitting still, she fought the urge to open them, but she had to know, was he really there?  No, he couldn't be, he was in jail for all of this.  Slowly, she opened her eyes and let out a sigh of relief, it was just in her head.  She buried her face in his hands, why now?  She ground her forehead into her palms as if she could grind down the substance of his thoughts.  Why now?  Why out of all the sudden he was haunting her in her dreams and now daily life again? 

She rubbed her eyes and looked up out the window. With relief when it hit it was just a figment of her imagination, she looked around the room. Suddenly, surprisingly, the confusion that had muddied her mind minutes ago, that rendered her useless, was gone. Everything was orderly, her desk with pictures of everyone she loved, the book shelf behind her holding all her work folders and some of her sports memorabilia, the small plant that sat on the windowsill, the chairs in the right sports; everything was in its proper place.   She sat back in her seat and sighed.  He wasn't there, all balance had been restored; all of the struggles were behind her. She needed to relax; she needed to look forward in her life.  Tracing a finger around the picture frame, she stared at the one of her and JC and softly smiled.  When she met him, she didn't believe in love anymore, but proved her wrong, picking her up and dusted her off and showed her true love.  She took a big leap and he was there to catch her.  Her eyes stared through the clear panes of glass that covered the picture and instantly her heart beat rapidly.  John never made her heart beat like this before and that's when she knew, JC was different.

Sitting back in her chair, she looked outside her window; the world languished in a lovely balance between fall and winter - well, what you would call winter in Florida - and between morning and afternoon.  She sun shined though her glass window and brightened up her room, making it look alive.  A couple of trees were losing some of their leaves and changing color; that made her feel like she was back at home, in Chicago.  She smiled and looked at the picture of her and her sisters, the four of them smashed together with smiles on their faces and laughter in their eyes, before looking back out of the window in a daze.

Suddenly her door opened, causing her heart to jump and startle her.  Kara laughed and closed the door behind her.

"Damn girl I didn't mean to scare you shitless, jeez."  Kara continued to laugh as she sat down in the chair in front of Kristen's desk.  "Yo," Kara leaned forward a bit, concern look on her face, "You okay?  You look like you have seen a ghost.  Dude," Kara chuckled.  "I really didn't mean to scare you."

Kristen nodded her head and pushed her head back into her chair.  "Yeah, no it wasn't you."

"Than?"  Kara crossed her arms and sat back in her chair.

"I was zoned out."

"Mhm."  Kristen rested her elbow on her knee and looked at Kristen square in the eyes.  "I know the ‘zoned out' look and this."  Kara moved her finger around.  "Is not the zoned out look.  What happen?"

Groaning, Kristen propped her elbows onto her desk again and buried her face in her hands.  "I was thinking of Ashley and.."  Kara nodded her head and ran the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip.

"She is watching out for us, remember?  She may not be physically here, but she is in our hearts.  She is an angel now."

"I know...I just miss her ya' know?  It wasn't fair how she died, she was too young."

Kara scooted her chair closer to the desk and leaned her arms on it.

"I know....Hell I know.  I wish the guy could have gotten the death penalty but that isn't how the world works.  You know she is looking down at you right now, pissed that you are upset."

"He.....he's back."  Kristen mumbled against her palms.

"Huh?  I couldn't hear you."

Kristen slid her hands to her temples, looking down at her desk.  "He's back..."

"Who's back?"  Kara questioned.  "The guy who killed Ashley?"

"Him....J-John."

Kara sat up quickly, her hands clinging to the armrest.  "He's back!?  What the fuck do you mean he is back?  He is supposed to be in jail for years!  How did he get in the building?  He couldn't' get in without security knowing."

"No..no..in..in my dreams...daily life.."

Kara blew out a breath slowly, running her hands over her face.  "You're having nightmares about him again?"

Kristen nodded her head.  "And just before you came in, he was...like here...in the chair you were sitting in, just looking at me."

Kara's hands paused over her face.  "You're seeing him, not only in your dreams?"

Kristen nodded, her eyes continuing to stare at her desk.  Rolling her head back, Kara sighed.

"You're taking the sleeping pills again aren't you?"

"I can't sleep anymore.  I'm afraid; he just keeps...haunting me."

"Does JC know this?"

"No."

"Kris, this is something he should know."

"He is stressed out as it is."  Kristen looked up to look at her.  "He doesn't need to add more to that stress."

"You know that every time you take those sleeping pills, it messed up your brain and you're seeing things in the afternoon, and it's always him.  Why do you still have them?"

Kristen shrugged her shoulders.  Letting out a deep sigh, Kara reached over and took a hold of Kristen's hands.

"Does he even know you have sleeping pills?"

Kristen shook her head.

"I should of known....If he did he wouldn't let you keep them.  You are hiding them aren't you?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you think you need to see your therapist again?"

"I dunno..."

"Maybe give her a call, Brittney still has her number right?"  Kristen nodded.  "Well maybe call her up and tell her about all this and see if you need to see her again to talk or something, ya know?  She'll know what to do."

"Yeah."  Kristen nodded her head.  "Maybe I will."

"Good."  Kara squeezed her hand.  "You know I'm here for you."

"I know....Am I crazy?"

Kara cocked and eyebrow with a smirk.  "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Kristen rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair.  "Not that kind of crazy, I know that, I mean like...mentally crazy."

"No."  Kara shook her head.  "No, you are not mentally crazy like that; you're going through trauma.  Everyone goes through it differently.  Remember when your therapist told you that when you, eh kind of going crazy-"  Kara held up her hand.  "Not that kind of crazy like being thrown into room full of padded walls, just, you were lost, you didn't know what to do and you were falling, trauma crazy?  I dunno....but everyone takes it differently.  You are in a state of healing, and that's a good thing.  Your nothing like you use to be like at the beginning of all of this, I mean," Kara pointed to the picture five guys.  "You went out of your shell and made five best friends, brothers, and even better."  Kara pointed to the picture on the other side of her and JC.  "You fell in love.  L-O-V-E Kristen, love.  You didn't even believe in that, and now you do.  You are slowly healing, now I dunno why you are having nightmares of John again and seeing him, maybe something triggered it.  Something he use to do, or something made you think of it, I dunno but I think maybe you should call your therapist and talk with her."  Kara reached over and took her hand in hers.  "You are okay, your life is falling on track, slowly and surely, but you are okay.  John can't come and hurt you; he has a lot of fucking more years in jail."  Kara rubbed her hand over her best friend and looked up at her in the eye.  "If you are afraid of telling Jace because you think he is going to think your crazy, think again.  He.  Loves. You.  You know I'm going to tell Brittney about all this, right?"

Kristen nodded her head.

"Do you want me to?  Or do you want to do it yourself?"

"You...I..I don't think I can tell her without...I dunno."

"That's fine.  Kris, do you want me to tell JC?"

Kristen sighed and looked out her window.  Biting her bottom lip, she slowly nodded her head.  Kara patted her hand and sat back.  "Alright I will."

"Thanks."  Kristen cleared her throat.  "Now, how the hell did you get here and why are you here?"

Kara laughed.  "Ahh time to kick out the gloomy present and bring in the joyful one.  Jackson is meeting up some friends and I didn't want to be bored out of my fucking mind, so I called Brittney and she called me in, hint on how I got in, and said we should meet up for lunch.  I made Jackson drop my ass off here."

"Ahh, got it."

"It's almost lunch time, right?  ‘Cuz I'm starving."

"You are always hungry."  Kristen laughed.  "And yeah, just about."  Kristen stood up and brushed down shirt and pants.  "Want to go meet the guys?  They are downstairs recording.  Britt is still in her meeting so once she gets out we'll get some food."

"Mmmm...how about I just ravish Justin?  Now that sounds delicious."

Rolling her eyes, Kristen grabbed her purse than Kara's arm and dragged her out of the room.

"Come on horn dog."

~*~

Kristen tugged on Kara's arm, walking out of the stairway and down the hallway.

"I can't believe you just made me go down the stairway instead of the elevator." Kara whined.

"Shut up lazyass.  I hate elevators."  Kristen quickly glanced at her before opening up another door.  "This," Kristen out stretched her arm, "I call the record of fame.  Almost like the sidewalks where all the big stars have stars in their names in Hollywood; just this has records on the wall."

"You really thought hard on the hallway name, didn't you?"  Kara teased.

"Oh shut up."  Kristen rolled her eyes and tilted her head to the side slightly when she saw JC walking down the other end of the hallway, looking down at his cell phone.  "You better not be texting with your other girlfriend."

JC looked up and grinned when he saw them.  "I was just about to text you actually.  What you doing here?"  JC nodded his head over to Kara.  "Hey Kara."

Kara nodded.  "Hey.  Jackson was going to meet up with some friends and I didn't want to sit home all alone.  Aub's is at work so I made Jackson drop me off here to bug Kris and Britt and of courseeee Brittney is in a meeting."

"And what are you doing out of the recording booth?"  Kristen asked giving him a suspicious look.

"I had to pee.  Popstars do have to pee also you know."  JC tapped his finger against her nose.

"Don't start your popstar stuff."  JC turned around and saw Sarah walking towards them with a folder in her arms.  "And they are looking for you."

JC groaned.  "I"ve been gone less than a minute!  Are you serious?"

Kara laughed.  "You're so popular."

Sara shook her head and chuckled.  She stopped in tracks when she reached up to where they were standing.  "How can you be with this man?"

Kristen let out a dramatic sigh, "It's not always easy.  He can be a pain in the ass."

"I'm right here."  JC raised a brow and pointed at her.  "You better watch it."

"Or what?"  Kristen tilted her head slightly to the side as she waited for a response.  Kristen grinned when he didn't reply as he continued to stare her down.  "That is what I thought.  You are all talk.  All bark with no bite."  Kristen poked him in the chest slowly and turned to look at Sarah and Kara.  "He is."

"Sweetheart," he interjected.  Kristen turned her head to look at him as he continued, "If you are into biting I promise I don't disappoint."

Kristen rolled her eyes at his cockiness.  JC smiled and looked over at Sarah and Kara.  "You don't know what you're messing out."

Kristen let out a snort.  "Oh let me tell you, it's nothing.  He is just a cocky, arrogant, huge ego, haughty, son of -"

"Hmmm?"  JC asked as he interrupted her.

Kristen looked up, smiling innocently.  "Huh?"

Sara softly hit JC on the arm with her folder and laughed.  "You two are too cute.  I got to get back to work but the meeting is over so Brittney is out if you need her."  Kristen gave Sarah a short wave when she walked away.

"She so has a crush on you."  Kristen whispered just loud enough for Kara and JC to hear.

"Hard not to." JC replied, puffing out his chest.  "Who doesn't want a piece of this?"

Kristen smacked him across the arm.  "Don't play with her."

"She knows I'm with you."  JC reached out and rested his hand on her hip.  "And anyways, I like playing with you."  He winked at her.  Kara took her fingers and put them in her mouth, faking that she was going to make herself throw up.  "Please I'd like to keep my breakfast, you sick love folks."

Kristen laughed and shoved JC backwards.  "Come on superstar, I brought Kara down to meet the guys and you have work to get done so you are not here all night."

"Yeah yeah."  JC reached his hand back and grabbed hers, lacing his fingers with hers as they walked down the hallway.

"And this," Kristen started to say when they walked up to the door.  "Is the recording studio thing room where they recorded their music."

"Oh hunny you'd make a great real estate person."  JC joked.

"Okay you know what."  Kristen pointed her finger at JC and opened the door, pushing Kara inside the room.  "You are staying out here."  Kristen quickly closed the door behind her and locked it.  She laughed when she heard him fiddle with the door handle and groaned.

"Kristen let me in."

"Huh?"  Kristen leaned her ear closer to the door.  "I can't here you."

Chris and Joey snickered.  Kristen turned around and linked her arm with Kara's'.  "Guys, this is Kara.  Kara this is...hell you know who they all are."

Joey quickly stood up and walked over to them.  Joey picked up Kara's hand and gave a soft kiss on the back of it.  "Well hello, a friend of Kristen's is a friend of ours."

Kristen smacked Joey's hand before reaching down into her pocket to pull out her cell phone.  "Knock it off."  She flipped it open and laughed when she saw the text message.

Let me in!

Kristen turned her head towards the door.  "Stop texting he Josh."

I love you :)

Kristen laughed while reading his text message.  "Stop sucking up Joshua."  Kristen looked down in her hand as her cell went off again.

I love your laugh.

"Oh god Kara let him in before he blows a nut or something."  Kristen walked over to the couch that Chris was sitting on and plopped her body down on it, resting her head on Chris's lap.  Chris raised his arm up and looked down at her, pausing his game he was playing on his game boy.  "Yes?"

"Hard morning."  Kristen replied, closing her eyes.  "Where is Lance?"

"Getting a drink."  Joey replied, lifting Kristen's legs up and sitting back down, laying them across his lap.  "To bad you weren't wearing a skirt..."  Kristen dug the heel of her shoe into Joey's thigh.

"To bad her best friend is A LOT NICER."  JC walked up to them with his hands on his hips. "THANKS Kara for letting me in the room."

Kara laughed as she sat down in the chair next to them.  "Anytime."

Kristen shrugged her shoulders and smiled, keeping her eyes closed.

"Wait, is this the girl with the I'm a Hustla' ringtone?"  Joey asked, looking towards Kara.

"Yes."  Kara laughed.  "That is me."

"You guys, shut the hell up I can hear you in here."  Justin's voice boomed over the speaker.  Kristen lifted her head up and looked at Justin as he sat on the stool, headphones over his ears, looking at them from inside the sound booth.

"Oh shut the hells up you do not!"

"Did you just say hells?"  Chris questioned, looking down at her.

"Shut up."  Kristen smacked him against the leg and looked back up at Justin.  Justin stuck his tongue out at her and stopped when he saw Kara sitting in the chair.  Kristen smiled, seeing the look on Justin's face while Kara continued to tell Joey to story behind the ringtone.  Kristen looked up at JC and tried to get him to look over at Justin.  JC's brows knitted in confusion as he tried to get what she was trying to tell him.  Sighing, she pulled out her cell phone and quickly texted him.

Look at how Justin is looking at Kara!

JC looked over at Justin once he read the text message and turned to look back at Kristen, rolling his eyes.  He pointed a finger at her as a warning before sitting next to Zack in a chair by the control table.

"Don't stick that finger out if you don't intend to use it."

"Oh I do."  JC said, keeping his back towards her.  "And you seemed to love that finger last night."

"GROSS!"  Chris exclaimed and started gagging.  "I don't want to fucking hear what you are doing with your finger to Kristen!  I don't think I can touch your hands ever again Jace."

"Aww you think I got cooties or something?"  Kristen teased.  Chris cast down a look at her.

"No I don't want to touch his hands when..they..been...down there..yeah okay this is gross this subject needs to be changed now...That is like..thinking of my sister having sex.....Oh my god okay I'm going to need to burn my brain now."

"What?"  Lance asked; walking into the room as he swung a sip of his water.  "Oh hey Kara."

"Hey."  Kara gave him a nod, "Ah Chris wants to change the subject about Jace fingering Kristen last night."

Lance choked on his water.  Chris flung his head back, covering his face with his hands and groaned.

"Well...If he doesn't do so well...Just call me, I'll--"

"JOEY!"  JC exclaimed, his back still towards them.  Joey laughed and patted Kristen's leg.  "I'm kidding man!"

"Dudes, you are all to loud."  Justin said as he walked into the room.  "Sorry I don't think we met."  Justin extended his hand towards Kara and smiled.

"Kara."  Kara replied, shaking his hand.

"Ohh so you're the famous Kara that Brittney and Kristen have been talking about."  Justin replied, his blue eyes twinkling.  "Very nice to meet such a pretty girl like you."  He winked.

"Oh there he goes working that Timberlake charm."  Lance cut in.  "Don't fall for it he does it to all the ladies." He teased.  Kristen grabbed Chris's arm and pulled it towards her so she could look at his watch.

"You know, you could have just asked."  Chris stated.  Kristen shrugged her shoulders.

"Alright it should be Brittney's lunch also, let's go get her Kara so we can go out to lunch."

Kristen pushed herself off the couch and walked up behind JC, sliding her arms around his neck.  "I'll see you later?"  JC nodded his head and tiled it back to kiss her.  "Love you."

Kristen pressed her lips against his and gave him a pat on the chest.  "Love you too.  Bye babe.  Need me to bring you back anything?"

"Nah," JC shook his head.  "I'm good, thanks though babe."

"It was nice meeting you Kara, we'll have to hang out again before you leave."  Justin said, reaching his hand out and pulled Kara out of the seat.  Kara gave the guys a quick wave before walking out into the hallway.

"Oh my god." Kara sighed dreamily after the door closed.  "He looks even finer in person."  She gushed.

Kristen laughed, linking her arms with hers and pushed open the door.  "Uh huh.  Let's go get Brittney.  I'm hungry."

"I'm hungry for some of him."

"Oh my god."  Kristen laughed.  "You are hopeless."

"Hopeless for him."

Kristen chuckled and pulled on Kara's arm.  "Come on."

***

"Honey?"  JC called out as he walked into their house later that night.

"Munchkin?"  Justin called out behind JC and stood in his tracks when the smell of food hit his nose.  "I hate you.  You can't cook worth shit and you nag her?"  Justin shook his head in disbelief.  "How did you get so lucky to snag one that cooks so damn good?"

JC chuckled as he placed his keys down on the counter as they walked through the kitchen to the family room.  "That is what I ask myself everyday."  He said, smiling at Justin over his shoulder.  JC stopped in his tracks when he saw her sitting on the floor, papers fanned out all around her.

"What's this?" He asked, grinning when he saw her in a frazzled state.  Her once down wavy hair had been pulled back in a lose ponytail and the sleeves of her red collared shirt were rolled up to her elbows, her black pants crunched up by her knee that she had bent up.

"Damn."  Justin drawled out, "What happen here? A Tornado of papers hit or something?"

Kristen ran a hand over her face before looking up at them and let out a sigh.  "This," Kristen said, extended her arms out wide.  "Is some lovely work I get to bring home because we have a lot of shit to do."  Kristen blew her side bangs out of her face and propped her elbow on the knee she had bent up.  "Sorry about the mess, I needed a room to be able to spread everything out."  Kristen looked down at the papers.  "There is dinner in the oven, hope you don't mind."

"Hey, whenever you want to cook is alright with me.  We could of ordered out; I would have been fine."

"And if Jace ever gets on your nervous," Justin plopped down in the chair, "You can come over and cook for me whenever.  I do not mind."  He offered.  JC leaned over and smacked Justin across the back of his head.  Justin giggled as he rubbed the back of his head.

"What's for dinner?"  JC asked, tossing his jacket on the back of the chair that Justin was sitting on.

"Baked Ziti and cheesy garlic bread." She replied, not looking up from her papers.

"Marry me."  Justin quickly said.  Kristen laughed.

"Would you like to stay for dinner Justin?"

Justin's blue eyes sparkled. "I love you.  Marry me; please?"

JC chuckled and flicked Justin's ear.  "I'm going to change; I'll be right back down."  JC stepped over some papers and bent down, placing a kiss to her lips.  Cupping his hand against her cheek, his thumb gazed over her cheek as he looked into her eyes; everything Kara told him this afternoon running though his mind.  JC felt his heartache, knowing this was putting even more stress on top of everything that was going on.  It hurt that she didn't come to him first, but it hurt him more that he couldn't even tell that something was wrong.  He brought his lips to hers once more and stood up.

"Alright," Kristen patted his leg and rolled onto her knees.  "I'll clean this up and set up the table.  Dinner should be ready in a couple of minutes."  Kristen started to gather up her papers. "And Josh" She looked up at him before he took a step on the stairs.  "Don't put your jacket on the chair.  Put it away in the closet."

Justin snickered and watched JC grab his jacket off the chair.  Kristen glanced over to Justin when she heard him make a whip-like noise.  Justin stopped snickering when he saw the look Kristen was sending to him and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Soooo..."

"Uh huh." Kristen chuckled and stacked her papers on the coffee table.

"Soo, is Kara single?"

Kristen arched a brow and looked over at him.  "Why?"

Justin shrugged and slouched down in the chair more.  Kristen narrowed her eyes at him. "Just asking." He answered automatically.

"Yes she is single."  Kristen replied.  She pushed herself off the floor and dusted her pants off.

"She's cute."

Kristen's eyes traveled from the floor and up to his face and smirked when she saw the dreamy look in his eye.

"Uh huh."

"She has this..."Justin paused. "Aura."

"Aura?"  Kristen question with a snicker.  "What are you, a psychic?"

"Oh hush."  Justin replied with a smile.  "You know what I mean...She's a cute girl and loves basketball."

"Excuse me, I like basketball also, dickweed.  We've gone to some Orlando Magic games."

"You didn't let me finish!"  Justin laughed.  "She is a cute girl that loves basketball AND Golf...Golf!  And isn't a horrible player like someone I know...."

Kristen gave him a look.  "I can kick you out of this house and not feed you."

"I loooove you."

She rolled her eyes.  "Whatever...She might be moving back."  Kristen told him as she walked into the kitchen, Justin hot on her heels.

"Really?"

She gave him a look before opening up the oven and pulling the dish out.  "Uh huh.  Jackson is back and Kara is done with college soo."  Kristen shrugged and set the dish on the table.  "She and Jackson are thinking of moving back.  Her ‘rents are going to stay there sooo...yeah."

"Who is moving back?"  JC asked, skipping down the stairs and making his way into the kitchen.

"Kara."  Justin replied as he sat down in a chair, Kristen setting the dishes on the table.

"And Jackson."  Kristen added.

"Really?"  JC questioned as he took his seat.  "You didn't tell me."

"I haven't seen you since lunch."  Kristen planed a kiss on his cheek before taking her seat.

"That's cool.  When?"

Kristen shrugged her shoulders.  "She doesn't know.  Her and Jackson were talking about it since he is back from over seas."

"Ah," JC replied, piling food onto his plate along with Justin.

"Pigs."  Kristen replied; shaking her head with disgust as Justin shoved a piece of cheesy garlic bread into his mouth.

~*~

Justin walked to the front door, groaning while rubbing his stomach.  "God that was gooood.  C, can I barrow Kristen every night and after I'm done with her, bring her back to you?"

Kristen punched Justin in the shoulder.  "I'm not a hooker Justin."

Justin and JC laughed.  "I didn't mean it like that!"  Justin shook his head.  "Just for cooking!"

"Right, drive safe."  Kristen pulled him into a hug.  "See you tomorrow dear.  Love ya."

"Will do sissy."  Justin kissed her cheek.  "Love ya also.  See you tomorrow Jace."

"Yep."  JC replied, giving Justin a manly hug and wrapped his arm around Kristen's waist.

"Drive safe Broho."  Kristen pointed a finger at him.  Justin chuckled, waving his hand in the air as he walked out the front door.  "Yadda yadda yadda will do.  Thanks for the wonderful dinner, ‘member, you can cook for me anytime!  Later."

Shaking his head, JC closed the front door and locked it.

"I'm going to go change while you set the house alarm."

JC watched her walk away, words from Kara clouding his mind while he set up the alarm.  Rubbing the back of his neck, he slowly dragged his feet, making his way towards the family room trying to think of the best way to bring up the conversation that they desperately needed.  Pacing in the room, he looked up when he heard her making her way down the stairs in sweats and in one of his t-shirts, her once pulled up hair, now down covering her shoulders.  Brushing her hair out of her face, she plopped down on the couch and rubbed her now make-up free face.

"So, we need to talk."

Kristen's hands froze, mid-rubbing her face.  JC watched her carefully, watching her run the tip of her tongue along her lips before pulling them between her teeth, swallowing.

"Uh..um.." She stuttered; her eyes fixed on the ceiling.  "Yeah."

"Soo?"  JC said after a couple of minutes of silence.  Crossing his arms across his chest, he leaned his back against the wall and looked at her.

"Kara told you everything."  Kristen picked up her hand and started to chew on her index finger.

"Mhm."  JC nodded his head.  "And I want to hear it from you."

Kristen blew out a breath.  "It's just..I dunno, just all of a sudden his face pops in my head, or like mostly I've been having nightmares again and I haven't had one since we broke up."

"I remember you telling me about that."  JC replied with a nod.

"Like just before Kara came in my office, I saw him sitting there, just..right there in the chair, giving me this smirk.  It...it freaked me out.  I'm afraid to sleep at night because when I close my eyes, he is there.  I dunno why its happening again, but it..it is and I-I dunno."

"Explain it to me; help me understand to help you."

"What?  So you can think your girlfriend is fucking crazy?"

"Hunny," JC took a step closer.  "I don't think you are crazy one bi-"

"No no."  Kristen interrupted him and stood up, holding her hand up.  "Don't."

"Don't what?  Don't worry about you?  Don't bother to try to understand?  I want to.  Not because I need to, I want to."  JC wrapped his hand around her arm and looked into her eyes.  Carefully, he pressed his hand against her shoulder and pushed her back down on the couch.  Moving the remote and magazine, he sat down on the coffee table in front of her.  He watched her as she nervously started to pick at her fingers, her eyes starting down onto her lap.  Grabbing her hands, he looked at her.  "Just tell me....If we can't be honest with each other, after everything we've been through..." he shook his head.  "Just tell me.  Why didn't you come to me when it first started happening?  Why are you hiding things from me?"

Kristen sighed, leaning back in the couch, pulling her hands out of his grip.  "I'm not hiding things for you?"

"Really?"  JC arched a brow.  "How about hiding the sleeping pills from me so I couldn't see them?"

Kristen's eyes traveled up the ceiling.  "Strike one.."  She mumbled under her breathe.

"Huh?  Strike one?"  JC gave her a confused look.  Holding up his hand, he shook his head.  "Whatever; anyways, how about hiding that you have been having nightmares from me?  Lying to me every time I ask if you are okay in the morning and asking how you have been sleeping because you don't look you got enough sleep."

"Strike two.."  She mumbled again.  JC sighed, straightening up a bit, continuing to look at her.  He shook his head and ignored her random outburst again.

"I thought we told each other everything Kris?  Yet here you are; suffering or whatever you want to call it and just hiding things from me.  I don't hide anything from you.  I told you to wake me up in the middle of the night if you need me, I don't care."

"Strike three.."

"Okay what the hell?!"

"Strike three.  I'm out.  Struck out.  Let's just keep naming everything I've done wrong alright?"  Kristen looked at him.  "Let's just keep rubbing it in how such a horrible girlfriend I am being."

"What..what?!  What the hell I never said that!  Where are you pulling this out of?  Thin air?" JC looked at her in disbelief.

"Joshua you are sitting here naming everything I did wrong.  Why didn't I come to you?  Why didn't I tell you?  Why I'm lying to you when I said I'm sleeping fine, when I'm really not.  I'm telling you I'm okay when deep inside I'm scared, freaking out, not okay.  I get it!"  Kristen holding up her fingers as she listed everything.  "What the hell you want me to do?  I didn't know how to tell you!"

"Kristen..Dear, I'm sorry, I didn't' mean it like that-"  He started, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What am I just suppose to do," She admitted, interrupting him, "Just walk up to you and go ‘Oh hey babe, I'm having nightmares about my ex beating me and shit and its causing me not to be able to sleep that I'm sneaking sleeping pills because it's the only way I can even get a couple hours of sleep."  She admitted, waving her hands around as she spoke.  "Oh yet, hey I'm seeing him appear throughout my daily life also.  Oh!  Hey!  I thought I saw him in my office this morning because Kara came in.'  Oh yeah, a perfect way to start a conversation!"  She exclaimed sarcastically.

JC reached out and took her hands in his.  "Kristen look at me.  I don't think you are a horrible girlfriend, I don't know where you got that from.  If it looked like it, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that at all.  I'm just hurt that you couldn't come to me and tell me this.  I want you to be able to come to me for everything and anything."  He brushed her hair out of her eyes.  "I love you and I'll do anything for you.  When you hurt, I hurt."  He leaned over and brushed his lips against the skin on her forehead.  "I would never think of you any different.  If you have another nightmare, wake me up."

"But-"

JC shook his head and placed a finger over her lips.  "No buts.  Kara told me the excuses you were using.  I don't care what the time of the night, morning, whatever.  I don't care if it means I get no sleep that night.  Wake me up.  Okay?"  JC gave her a stern look.  "Okay?"  He asked again, when she did not responded.

Taking a breath, she nodded her head and looked back at him.

"Good."  JC rubbed her hands with his.  "No more sleeping pills alright?  We know what they do to you and it's not healthy.  I don't want to have to bring you to some hospital because you are going crazy."

Kristen opened her eyes wide.  She opened her mouth to speak but JC silenced her with his finger back against her lips.

"Kara and Brittney told me about that time." JC smirked.  "So you really bit the doctor huh?"

Kristen bit her lip and shrugged.  "That is what they told me.  I don't remember much because they had me all drugged up...Its fuzzy." She admitted sheepishly with a shrug of her shoulders.  "They and the doctor said I bit him when she was checking my vitals so," she shrugged her shoulders again, "I guess I did."

JC rubbed her knee and cupped her face with his other hand, his blue eyes locking with her hazel ones.  "How about we don't go there hm?  Not only would I be worried sick, but Brittney and Kara would be also, and on top of that you got four other guys who would be worried sick."  JC smiled softly.  "And even on top of that, a couple of the body guards, your family AND Johnny.  You are very much loved darling."  His eyes searched hers, "So, promise?"

"Do..the..um guys know?"  She asked, chewing on her bottom lip.  JC shook his head as he plucked her bottom lip out from between her teeth.  "No, well Lance might find out from Brittney but besides that; no.  It's up to you about all of that.  The girls are not going to go tell the rest of the guys unless you say so."  He gave her knee a gently squeeze.  "So, you promise?"  He asked her again.

Kristen nodded her head slowly.

"Good."  He leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly.  He studied her face as his thumb grazed across her smooth skin on her cheek.  "What are you going to do?"

"Kara wants me to call her...so I guess I will..and..see what she says.  Hopefully it's..just a phase."

JC nodded, taking the seat next to her and pulling her onto his lap.  Sliding down the couch, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

"Sounds good.  Hey," JC hooked his finger under her chin and lifted her head up to look at her.  "I love you.  Don't ever forget it."

"I love you too."

JC smiled and kissed her.  "Now, relax and calm down.  I'm here, he can't ever hurt you."

"Josh?"

"Hmm?"  He hummed, laying his head on hers.

"Can..can you sing me to sleep?"

JC smiled, kissing the top of her head than her forehead.

"I would love to, my sweetheart;" He smiled.  "I would love to."