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Like We Never Loved At All
By: Traci W.

There I was sitting in the hottest club in town decked out in my best clubbing clothes, having a miserable time. The club was owned by my boyfriend Jonathan Meyers. He was an Irish native with the accent that made my legs weak and dark green eyes that looked into my soul. He was off entertaining some clients while I sat at the bar sipping my Midori Sour. We had met 6 months ago, right about the time this club opened up. After 3 months of dating he asked me to move in with him and I said yes. Yeah, it was fast but you never know when the one you think you’ll be with forever is gone and you’re left alone with nothing. So here I was watching my friends dance on the dance floor, swaying to the music like fools. I giggled to myself as I took another sip, turning to lean on the bar. The bartender Adam, Jonny’s good friend made his way towards me dressed in his work attire of dark blue jeans and a tight black shirt with the club logo on it. He stood in front of me smiling.

“Still nursing that Midori huh?� he asked crossing his arms over his chest.
I looked up at him and semi smiled “I’m not much of a drinker tonight� I said
“What’s wrong?� Adam asked, concern filling his expression
I shook my head “Nothing important� I replied

I could tell he didn’t believe me, but lucky for me my friends were making their way towards me. Tayler who had tan creamy skin, and brown tight curly hair, with light brown eyes was dragging Jenna who had light green eyes with light brownish blonde hair. Jenna was giggling uncontrollably as Tayler sat her down on the stool next to me at the bar.

“Ya’ll okay?� I asked them
Tayler looked at Jen, then back at me and shook her head no
“Someone’s had too much� she replied pointing to Jen
Jenna looked at us and waved her hand at us, dismissing us.
“Psh!� she said, her breath reeking of alcohol
I scrunched my face; she was going to have a major hangover.
“Where’s Jon?� Tayler asked me
I shrugged “Still entertaining I assume� I replied
“You guys okay?� she asked me for the 5th time that night
I sighed and took a final gulp of my drink that was now warm. YUCK
“Fine Tay, I promise� I said
Tayler was about to reply when Jenna grabbed her shoulder, getting off the bar stool.
“Guys…I’m gonna be sick� Jen gagged out.

Tayler and I looked at each other before quickly getting up and went to her side walking her out the front exit of the club. We reached the side walk as Jenna leaned forward into the bushes and threw up her alcohol. I stood beside her, as she squatted on her hands and knees her head in the bushes puking her guts out. I crossed my arms over my chest as the brisk air blew by. The night life was bumpin; people were out having fun, talking and laughing. I sniffed in the fresh air and closed my eyes feeling the wind against my face.

I was so busy day dreaming I hadn’t heard Tayler ask me to get some water for Jenna. I broke out of my daze hearing my name, and looked over at Tayler.
“What?� I asked
“Water� she replied
“Oh, yea� I said feeling like an idiot
I turned to walk back into the club when I saw Jon come into view. He was looking very sexy in his faded jeans and a black sweater turtle neck long sleeve shirt, covering his fit body.
“You girls okay out here?� he asked his Irish accent making me want to fall into his arms.
“Jen drank too much, I was going to get her some water� I replied

He turned his head and looked over at Jenna who was on her hand and knees her head in the bushes still throwing up her alcohol. Tayler was by her side holding her hair back and rubbing her back soothingly. He looked back at me and I knew what he was thinking. He hated my friends. I looked up at him poking my lip out into a pout, and batting my eye lashes.
“Let me get you a water� he replied turning back to walk into the club once again.
I sighed and looked back at Tayler and Jenna. Tayler was watching me curiously, but I shrugged it off. Jonathan came back quickly with a bottle of water and handed it to me. I took it over to Tayler and walked back to Jonathan. He had his arms crossed over his chest as he stared down at me. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist forcing him to hug me. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug as I rested my cheek against his chest.

“I’m sorry� I said though not quite sure why I was apologizing.
He looked down at me, as I looked back up at him.
“It’s not your fault� he said

I stood on my tippy toes to kiss his lips lightly. As I stood there his warmth wrapped around me, I sighed contently. ‘We’ll be okay’ I said to myself.
But of course all good moments had to come to an end. Someone came of the club calling for Jonathan and he turned to me and leaned down to kiss me once more.
“I better head back inside� he whispered into my ear after our kiss broke “You comin with?�
Oh God, he wanted to spend time with me now? That my friends needed me? I looked back at the girls; Jenna was sitting now, sipping her water while Tayler stood beside her. I looked back at Jonny who was watching me.

“I should make sure Jen gets home� I replied, I did drive tonight.
He sighed “You sure?� he asked
I bit my lip and nodded “You gonna be late?� I asked
“I’ll try not to be� he said, he ran his hands through my semi curly hair. I just wanted to forget about the world and be with him.
“Okay� I said and kissed him once more “I’ll see you at home�
“Bye darling� he whispered “I love you�

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
There walking with your friends
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right though me
But I’m still living with your goodbye
And you’re just going on with your life

I broke away from him, as he blew a kiss at me and walked back inside. After watching him walk inside I turned to Tayler and Jenna. Jen had her head in her hands and was groaning. Tayler was sitting beside her rubbing her back. She looked up at me as I came over.

“Ready to get you home Jen?� I asked sitting beside her.
She groaned in response leaning her head on my shoulder. I laughed and rubbed her back. Tayler handed her the water bottle.
“Drink� she said
Jen sipped the water then laid her head back onto my shoulder.
“What did Jon have to say?� Tayler asked me
I looked at her, then shrugged “Nothin, just wanted to make sure we were all okay� I said
Tayler scoffed at my answer. She knew he wasn’t fond of her and couldn’t figure out why. We sat there a few minutes letting the air run over our faces. Tayler was as usual people watching; we could do that all day. I had closed my eyes for a second when I heard my name. I opened them and looked at Tayler.

“Look� she said her eyes moving to the side walk.
I turned and saw a group of people walking. At first I didn’t understand why Tayler was pointing these people out to me then I recognized him. My ex; who I was with for 3 years since I was 21, (now I’m 25) Justin Timberlake. He was with his best friend Trace Alaya which wasn’t out of the ordinary. Where you found Justin you found Trace and vice versa. They were walking and laughing with 2 tall blondes. Justin had his arms around the shoulder of one and I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He was so beautiful; he could control me with his eyes. They were blue as a clear summer day and they grew dark like a storm when he was angry. I remember them all too well sometimes. He was walking closer and closer and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I thought he turned and looked at me for split second, but he turned back and laughed at something Trace had said. They walked passed us and went on their way. I exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding and looked at Tayler. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes and I blinked quickly trying to remain calm.

“You’re okay� Tayler said trying to encourage me not to cry.
I nodded and sniffled wiping my eyes
“Can we go?� I asked
She nodded “C’mon Jen lets get you home� she stood helping Jen to her feet.

I stood up looking threw my purse for the keys to my silver Mitsubishi Eclipse (That Jonny bought me for my birthday a month ago). We made our way to the back parking lot and climbed into my car. Jen was put into the back after I warned her not to throw up in my car and Tayler was in the passenger seat as I drove them home. They shared an apartment with one other roommate a couple blocks away from mine and Jonny’s. I was waiting at a stop light when Tayler finally spoke.

“You alright?� she asked
“I’m fine� I said “Please, stop asking me that�
“You haven’t seen him in what, almost a year?�
I nodded “He looked good though didn’t he?� I asked
“Brooke!� he scolded
I semi smiled “What? The man is hot!� I defended
“Imma tell Jonathan� she threatened

I smiled because I knew she wouldn’t. Finally we reached their apartment building and I parked on the side walk. We got out and helped Jen up the stairs to their apartment. I helped Tayler get Jen tucked into bed and then said good-bye before starting my drive home. I reached my pent house apartment I shared with Jonathan and put my purse and keys in the foyer. I kicked off my shoes and walked back towards the master bedroom. I stripped off my clubbin clothes, tossing them into the hamper and slipped on my silk long robe before walking into the master bathroom (which was HUGE btw). There was a huge tub, and then a huge shower stall with glass doors and walls along with his and her sinks. Anything you could imagine a bathroom with this one had it. I walked over to the stall and turned it on, hot water steamed from it, making the glass foggy. I slipped my robe off, hanging it up before getting into the stall.

The hot water hit my back massaging it like fingers running up and down my skin. I closed my eyes taking in the cleansing smell of the heated water. But as my body and mind began to relax, memories flashed, not of Jonathan but of Justin.

I walked (more like skipped) down the street towards the park to meet Justin. I was too excited because finally I was getting my big break. I had been a struggling photographer forever. Going to school for it and graduating with good grades but it still had taken me awhile to really get started. And now it happened, this publishing company wanted to use my pictures for books covers, magazines, etc. I couldn’t wait to tell Justin, he would be too excited for me. As I walked across the street in my skirt suit, and heels I couldn’t walk quite right in, I spotted him. He was pacing under an oak tree, cell phone in his ear (as usual) dressed in his usual Armani suit and dress shoes, his brown curls gelled. Finally reaching the park I walked towards him. He saw me walking towards him and I smiled. He smiled back in return and held up one finger signaling he needed another minute. I nodded and went to sit at the picnic table a few feet from him as he continued his conversation.

It was more then a minute before Justin finally made his way towards me. I was looking through my planner when he finally sat next to me.
“Hey� I said looking at him, leaning forward to give him a kiss.
He moved his head though and we kissed each other’s cheeks. I shouldn’t known; he was never big on PDA. As I went back to putting my planner away, Justin spoke.

“We’ve gotta talk� he announced
I looked at him, something wasn’t right.
“What’s wrong?� I asked grabbing his hand

He looked into my eyes and I could of sworn I saw tears, but he turned away looking around. I watched him, this defiantly wasn’t good. Maybe something happened with his mom and dad. They were both well known lawyers with their own law firm which was where Justin now worked. He was defiantly close with them. Ok wait I’m getting ahead of myself. He turned to look at me again, then spoke.

“We…we need to break up� he announced
My eyes scrunched in confusion. Did he just say what I think he said?
“What?� I questioned, letting go of his hand and standing up “Why?�
He watched me silently. I looked at him as the silence lingered between us before I spoke up.
“Well?� I asked, I was pissed
“It’s not you, it’s me� he said
I laughed “What kind of reason is that?� I asked
“Brooke sit down, you’re causing a scene� he said
I looked at him “I’m causing a scene??� I asked “You bring me out here and break up with me and say I’m making a scene?�
He looked back at me.
“Why?� I asked “I deserve that much�
“Come sit down� he said
I went and sat down next to him and faced him trying to read his face. He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his curls.
“I can’t see you anymore� he said “my career is taking off and my mom-“
I cut him off “Your mom? You’re breaking up with me because of what your mom says?� I asked getting POed.
His parents never liked me. I wasn’t good enough for them. They came from money and I just didn’t. Justin stayed quiet watching me. I was trying to wipe at my eyes trying to stop the tears.
“Justin, please� I started “I love you…please don’t do this�
“I’m sorry� he replied, he put his hand to my face wiping my cheeks.
I closed my eyes sighing, feeling his skin for the last time.
“She said it would look better if I was single� he said
“Bull sh*t� I said my eyes opening to look at him “Your mom hates me, she always has…I just didn’t think it would come between us�

He watched me, but I couldn’t look at him or else I would start to cry again. Finally I decided I’d better leave. I grabbed my purse and stood up, Justin was watching me I could see him out of the corner of my eye.

“Give your mom a message for me will you?� I asked, but didn’t wait for an answer before I spoke again “I just signed a contract with Black Book publishing, they’re gonna use my photos on their books and magazines�

With that I walked away, leaving him sitting on the bench alone.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that’s just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

Finally I shut off the water in the shower and dried off and put my robe back on and my hair up in a towel to dry. I could feel my eyes stinging from the tears that I wouldn’t let escape. I walked into the master bedroom, after brushing my hair out and sat down on the bed looking out the window watching the night life pass me by. I hope Jonny comes home soon, if I’m alone much longer I’ll think about him again. I turned on the TV and lay back against the head board, watching anything to keep my mind off him. I didn’t know how long I sat there but soon I heard the front door open and closed and heard Jonathan’s light footsteps after he kicked off his shoes. I felt the bed shift and then his arms wrapped around me from behind as I laid on my side. I sighed contently and smiled.

“Finally� I said
He laughed and snuggled closer to me, started to kiss the back of my neck
“You get the girls back okay?� he asked in-between kisses
“Hmm� I mumbled, closing my eyes at the feeling
I snuggled back against him, feeling his warmth wrap around me.
“How was the club?� I asked sighing
“Mmm, fine� he mumbled as he snaked out legs together
I smiled. Gosh I hate it when he doesn’t shower after the club, he always smells like smoke and alcohol. But I guess I could live with it for tonight, to keep my mind of you know who.
“Anyone exciting there?� I asked, secretly smiling as I felt his fingers untying my robe.
“No one worth mentioning� he mumbled against my neck as he kissed down my spine sending chills and making me shiver.

I closed my eyes, a moan escaping my lips. He had me right where he wanted me, like putty in his hands. He had gotten my robe open and was caressing my stomach with his muscular hands. Finally I couldn’t take his torture any more. I did a quick movement, turning us over so that I was straddling him as he lay on his back against the pillows and comforter. He laughed, looking up at me.

“Why hello� he smiled, the light blue glow from the TV making him look so beautiful.
I laughed “Hi� I said

He looked up at me, smiling still. Oh I had fallen so hard for this man. I bent down and finally out lips met in a steamy hot kiss. His hand moved up my side, moving the robe from my body. I moved my hands to his hair running my fingers thought his dark brown hair. He slipped my robe off and I moved my hands to the bottom of his turtle neck and pulled it up his chest and over his head, breaking out kiss for a moment. I began to move my hands up and down his chest, rubbing his abs, down to his belt buckle and started to un-do it. I kissed down his neck, as my hands moved farther down, getting his belt off and un-doing his pants. He lifted his hips as I pulled them off leaving him in his gray boxer briefs. We broke the kiss panting as he looked at me.
“You’re so beautiful Brooke� he whispered his accent full
I smiled and kissed his lips lightly “I love you Jonny� I whispered
“I love you� he said back, as he ran his hands though my semi wet hair.
I smiled at him and he grinned back as we began to kiss again rolling around on the bed getting the rest of each others clothes off and getting under the covers as we continued our night together.

After what seemed like hours we lay together under the covers of the king size bed. I had my back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. He wasn’t much of a talker after sex, but I wasn’t tired and knew if I lay awake I would think of Justin. Grr what was wrong with me? Why did I keep mentioning him? I heard Jonny start to breath deeply.

“Jonny� I whispered nudging him
He mumbled “Hmm?� he said
I smiled “Talk to me� I whispered
He sighed “What’s wrong?� he asked, holding me closer
“Nothing, I’m just…not tired� I said
He knew I was lying. He snaked our legs together, pulling me closer to him. I smiled; he knew just what to do to make me feel better.
“You have work tomorrow?� he mumbled
“Yea, I’m meeting with some author to go over some of my photos for his book� I said
“What time?� he asked
“9:00� I said “Which means I need to be up at 7:00�
“Yuck, don’t wake me� he said
I laughed and nudged him “Jerk� I said
He laughed “Wanna meet for lunch?� he asked
I thought for a minute, thinking if I had made plans before hand and couldn’t remember.
“Yea, where you wanna go?� I asked
“Doesn’t matter� he replied
“Hmm…� I thought. I felt like a good salad “Olive Garden?�
“Alright, at 1:00?� he suggested
“Yea, I’ll call you if I’m going to be late� I replied
“Okay� he said
There was silence and I listened to him breath deeply once again.
“Can I sleep now?� he asked
I smiled and sighed “Yes� I said “Good night�
“Night darling, love you�
“Love you�

I closed my eyes, praying sleep to take over me so I wouldn’t think. My wish was granted, I was asleep some 5 minutes later.

You, I hear you’re doing fine
Seems like you’re doing well
As far as I can tell
Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven’t laughed yet
So tell me what your secret it
To letting go like you did, like you did

My alarm went off at 7:00 and I groaned reaching over to smack it off the night stand I heard Jonny chuckle and he kissed my neck.

“You gotta meeting baby� he mumbled
I groaned “Nooo…�
He laughed “C’mon� he said
“What do I get?� I asked smiling
He chuckled again “You get lunch with me� he replied
I laughed and turned over in his arms facing him. His eyes were half open as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. I smiled and leaned forward and kissed his nose.
“Okay, fine� I said
He smiled sleepily “Thank you�

I got off the bed grabbing my robe and slipping it on before walking into the walk in closet to pick out my outfit. After deciding on a navy blue skirt suit, my black heels, and putting my hair up in a bun. I walked into the living room grabbing my portfolio, putting it into my briefcase and put it by the door. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar and water and walked into the bedroom and to the bed side. Jonathan was buried under the covers with only his hair sticking out. I laughed to myself before rubbing his back.
“I’m leaving baby, see you at 1:00� I whispered
He mumbled a jumbled okay and I walked back out to grab my bags and headed down to the parking garage to get my car and head to the publishers building.

~*~

I reached the office some 45 minutes later; traffic yuck. I parked in my usual spot and walked quickly into the building just making the elevator going to the 8th floor. I looked at my watch; 15 minutes to spare I’m good. I waited patiently as the elevator moved up the building finally reaching my floor. I stepped out and walked across the room towards my corner office. I walked in checking myself over once more before walking down to the boardroom with my portfolio in hand. I took a deep breath before walking into the room. When I opened the door, and looked inside I almost fainted. Justin was sitting there talking with my boss Mr. Cohen. Justin was dressed in his usual business Armani suit, while Mr. Cohen (Sandy) had on nick slacks and shirt. He had darker green eyes and black wavy hair, he was a totally care free guy. Sandy looked up at me and smiled brightly.

“Ahh Brooke, just who we were waiting for� he said
I smiled (well tried) still frozen. Oh sh*t! I don’t know what did it but something knocked me out of my daze and I walked towards them as they stood up to greet me.
“Sorry I thought the meeting was at 9:00� I said walking to Mr. Cohen’s side.
“Oh it is, Justin just got here a little early� Sandy said
I nodded and tried not to look at Justin, as he watched me.
“Oh where are my manners� Sandy said laughing “Brooke this is the new author Justin Timberlake…Justin this is Brooke Jamerson our more prized photographer�
Justin stuck his hand out and I looked at him finally. He was smiling at me with that million dollar smile of his, and I put my hand into his shaking it. Mr. Cohen watched us smiling.
“So, shall we get started?� Sandy asked
“Umm, sure� I said gulping
I put my portfolio on the table and took a seat next to Mr. Cohen as Justin sat down opposite us.
“Justin here is writing a non-fiction book on his family. He is part of the famous Harless/Timberlake household. You know the lawyers Lynn and Paul?�
I only nodded, and continued to keep my eyes on Sandy not daring to look away. “Yes, well the book is well on it’s way to being done, but they want to include some professional photos of him, his family, their office, things like that� he continued “Both Lynn and Paul are impressed with your work and personally choose you to do them�

I almost gagged. What?! The Lynn Harless choose me to do photos of her family. NO WAY! I kept my smile though. Sandy continued to babble on as he usually did in meetings as I finally looked up at Justin. He looked the same; well I did see him last night. His tight brown curls defiantly grew and now had blonde streaks. He wasn’t watching me thank God; he was listening intently to Sandy. Finally I cleared my head of these thoughts and put myself back into the conversation that Sandy and Justin were having.
“Okay, so I will leave you two alone to discuss photos and schedules� Sandy said standing up.
Justin stood up as well and they shook hands before Sandy headed out of the boardroom. I watched him leave feeling myself getting nervous. As soon as the door closed Justin turned to me. I looked into his eyes becoming hypnotized by them.

“Wow� he spoke
I looked at him, this is so awkward. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly
“Your parents were impressed by my work?� I asked
He laughed “You know my mother� he said
“I…� I stopped, licking my lips
“What?� he questioned
“I don’t know if I can do this� I said “It’s too personal�
“Oh come on!� Justin laughed
I shook my head “This is too weird� I replied “You can’t tell me this isn’t weird for you�
He looked at me, then down at his hands.
“That’s what I thought� I said and stood up “I’ll tell Sandy I can’t do it�
Justin stood up “No, please� he said “My parents want you on this project…and so do I�
I looked at him “Your parents?� I asked “The same parents who didn’t want us to be together�
“They love your work, they always have� he replied
“Yeah, they jus hate me� I said
“C’mon it’s good money� he said
“Like I gave a sh*t, I could stop working tomorrow and be okay� I said “I’ve got a guy who loves me for me, no matter what�
Justin stayed silent, watching me surprised I guess. He probably thought I’d never get over him.
“Yea� I laughed “That’s right�
He still remained quiet; the silence was driving me insane. I couldn’t stop talking.
“Don’t act so stunned, I’m sure you’re over me too� I said “With little miss blondie�
Justin looked at me, his eyes widened. I was shocked myself. I never talked to anyone like this before. Finally I spoke again.
“I really don’t know if I can do this, I’ll have to think about it� I said “I’ll let Sandy know and we’ll get back to you asap�

With that I walked out of the boardroom. Sandy was walking out of his office as I leaned against the door of the boardroom with a sigh. He looked at me.
“Everything okay?� he asked
I looked at him and could feel the tears starting to build in my eyes I shook my head no, and a single tear slid down my cheek. Sandy ushered me into his office leading me inside. He closed the door and I sat down on one of the overstuffed couches. I put my head in my hands and started to bawl, I couldn’t stop myself. Sandy sat down next to me holding out a box of tissues. I took one and leaned against him crying. He had always been like a father to me. He gave me a chance with his company offering to give me a place to live (rent free) in his pool house until I could make it on my own. My parents died when I was young and I was raised by my grandparents who died when I was 21. Sandy and his wife Kirsten were the only family I had left. After a good 10 minutes I pulled myself together. Sandy watched me intently.

“You ready to talk about it?� he asked me
I looked at him, feeling like a child. My bottom lip poked out and he laughed.
“What’s wrong?� he asked
I sighed “Remember when you first hired me� I asked
He nodded
“And the next day I came to work a mess, my boyfriend I thought I was going to marry broke up with me because of his mom�
Sandy nodded, he still didn’t understand. Then it must have dawned on him because his mouth formed into an O.
“Ohh…that’s him huh?� he asked
I nodded and wiped my eyes feeling more tears.
“When you said his parents wanted me to do this I couldn’t believe it, his mom wanted me gone and now she wants me to do pictures for their book that’s BS!�
Sandy laughed he wrapped his arms around my shoulder holding me close.
“People change Brooke� he said
I scoffed at his answer “Not the Lynn Harless�
I laid my head on his shoulder and he rubbed my arm.
“I don’t know if I can do this� I said to him finally “I don’t know if I can face them�
Sandy stayed quiet for a minute before speaking up again.
“They obviously knew who you are, and still want you to do their book� he started “These are the most famous Lawyers around Brooke, publicity like this could make or break you�
“But this is Justin� I said, my face scrunching as I began to cry again “I was going to marry this man, I was with him for 3 years� I started to bawl again.
“Shh…okay, okay� Sandy said, trying to sooth me.
He started to rock me back and forth. I felt so protected in his arms, not like Jonny, Sandy’s arms were like a fathers, the one I never knew. I just felt like staying in them forever. I relaxed again, and wiped my eyes.
I laughed “I’m sorry� I said “I haven’t cried like that in months�
He smiled “Maybe you just needed to get it out� he said
I nodded and sniffled
“Now Brooke, you really need to think about this…be professional about it� he suggested “This could help you a lot�
I nodded “I know, just he…he makes me crazy� I said
He laughed “You can do this Brooke, just believe you can�
I sighed, I could do this. I took a deep breath.
“Can I think about it?� I asked
“Of course� he said
I reached over and hugged him tightly. He smiled and hugged me back, rubbing my back.
“Thank you Sandy� I said
He laughed “No problem honey� he said “Just think about it�
“I will� I said

Finally I pulled myself together. I walked out of Sandy’s office and to my own. I had a few hours before I had to meet Jonny and I had things to finish.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that’s just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

Finally I headed down to Olive Garden to meet Jonny. I had just parked my car and checked my face once more to make sure it wasn’t red and puffy. I was satisfied and got out of my car and spotted Jonny’s Lexus parked on the other side of the parking lot. I walked inside and saw Jonny wearing some baggy jeans and a plain T-shirt looking through the menu, his back to me. I made my way towards him leaning over his back, to kiss his cheek. He smiled as I sat down across from him.

“Hey baby� he said
I smiled putting my purse next to me in the booth.
“How was the meeting?� he asked
I picked up my menu, though I already knew what I wanted.
“Um, it was interesting…to say the least� I replied
“Yea?� he questioned, watching me

I nodded and was saved by the waitress who came to get our drink orders. We ordered our food as well, and Jonny waited for the waitress to leave and rested his elbows on the table crossing his fingers and rested his chin on them watching me intently.

“So?� he questioned
I looked at him and licked my lips
“Well…� I paused; the waitress came back with our drinks.
As soon as she left, Jonathan looked back at me. I sighed he wasn’t going to let it go.
“Take a wild guess at who this author is I met with today� I said taking a sip of my iced tea.
Jonathan watched me as I stared back at him.
“Tayler� he guessed
I rolled my eyes “Seriously…� I said “Someone I’d never wanted to see again�
Jonathan bit his lip, thinking, and then looked at me, his eyes getting big.
“No way!� he said
I laughed and nodded “Can you believe it?�
“Are you gonna do it?� he asked me
Jonathan hated Justin, we spoke about him once. One of our late night talks when we 1st started dating. I knew if Jonny ever saw Justin some sh*t would go down.
“I…don’t know� I said, resting my chin on my am “I talked about it with Sandy for a little…he told me to think about it…because it could make or break my career�
“Bull sh*t� he spat “You’re gonna work for the man that tossed you aside for his career?�
I winced; I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.
“I never said I was gonna do it, relax� I said and reached over to grab his hand. He took mine in return and rubbed his thumb over my hand.
“I don’t want you to get hurt� he said looking into my eyes
God, I could melt.
“I won’t let him touch me, I love you baby, nothing could come between us� I said

He smiled and kissed my hand. The waitress come back with our meals and set them in front of us. We both thanked her with a smile and she walked away. I looked back at him as he let go of my hand ready to eat.
“Jonny, you’ll support me right?� I asked, resting my hands on my lap.
Jonny looked at me and licked his lips. I was afraid he would say no. OH NO! He’s gonna dump me if I take this job, then that’ll be it for me.
“I’ll give you all the support you need� he replied
I smiled and leaned over as did he and we kissed. Oh gosh, it felt so good to have support for once. My worries were set aside as we ate. We talked about whatever came to mind the rest of lunch. It was fun; we hadn’t had a lunch date in a long time with him being busy with the club and everything. And of course like all good things with me they had to end. Jonny had to head off to a meeting about an upcoming party being thrown at his club for a celebrity and I needed some girl talk, time to head to Tayler’s work. Jonny paid for our meals, and walked me to my car where we kissed (more like made out) goodbye before I got into my car and headed to Tayler’s work.

~*~

I walked into the 12 story building, after driving into the studio and headed to the elevator making my way into it and going to the top floor. The doors opened and I walked to the front desk. The lady, Kriscia, was typing away at the computer and talking into her head set. She looked up and smiled signaling for me to walk in. I walked down the hall towards Tayler’s office and knocked. Hearing Tayler say ‘come in’ I opened the door and poked my head in. Tayler was sitting in her huge leather chair in a business pant pin stripped suit and heels. She had her head piece on talking away. She smiled at me and signaling me into the room. I walked in closing the door and sat down in one of the over stuffed couches opposite her desk as she finished up her conversation. I looked around her office always fascinated with it. She had pictures galore of all the movies stars she’s met, awards won for the movies and shows she’s worked on. Tayler owned her own movie studio and was a successful screen play writer as well. I turned and looked at her once more, as she ended the conversation.

“Okay baby, I’ll see you tonight� she said into the head seat “Love you, bye�
She pressed the button on her phone and took off her head set.
“Kevin?� I asked
She blushed and I laughed. She and Kevin were high school sweethearts and engaged to be married.
“So, what’s going on?� she asked changing the subject
I sighed and leaned back against the couch.
“You will not believe the morning I’ve had� I said
“Try me� she said
I looked at her, then sat up straight
“Guess who wants me to take pictures for their book� I said
Tayler looked at me confused “Who?� she asked
“Take a guess� I said, still no answer “Okay…I’ll give you a hint…last night�
“What??� Tayler practically screamed and covered her mouth quickly.
I laughed and nodded “His mother wants me to take pictures for the book Justin is writing about them�
“You’ve got to be kidding� Tayler said
I shook my head no
“Are you gonna do it?� she asked
I sighed and laid back against the couch
“I don’t know� I said “I practically told him off in the meeting, I think he was just as shocked as I was about me blowing up at him�
“You held it in for a long time� Tayler said
“I know� I replied “I told him I didn’t know if I could do it and said Sandy would get back to him�
Tayler nodded, and I continued.
“Then I ran into Sandy and told him I didn’t know if I could do this, I started bawling seriously like draining myself over this man�
Tayler knew about the close relationship I had with Sandy.
“Aww why didn’t you call me� Tayler said, she walked to the front of her desk and leaned against it in front of me.
“I didn’t want to bug you, plus I had a whole mess of work to get done before lunch with Jonny� I replied
She watched me “Did you tell Jonathan?� she asked
I nodded “He wasn’t very happy about it either, but said he would support me no matter what�
“Well that’s good� Tayler said
I nodded “I jus don’t know if I can face Lynn� I said “I mean she’s the reason we aren’t together�
“Not necessarily� Tayler said
My eyebrows scrunched “What? What do you mean?�
Tayler sighed and sat down next to me on the couch.
“I never wanted to tell you this before, because…I didn’t want to hurt your feelings�
Oh sh*t, what could she possibly tell me? I looked at her scared, tears were making their way to my eyes and Tayler knew. She handed me a box of tissues and I took one looking at her.
“If Justin really wanted to be with you it wouldn’t matter what his mother said, if he loved you, he wouldn’t let anything be in the way�
With that tears made their way down my cheeks. I knew she was right. If Justin really loved me he would fight for me, no matter who he was fighting.
“Why do you think Kevin never talks to his mom anymore?� Tayler asked
I looked at her and she nodded
“I didn’t ask him to never speak to her again, he choose to…because he loves me�
“So does that mean Justin never loved me like I did him?� I asked. God I feel stupid.

Tayler put her arm around my shoulder, brining me into a hug. And I wrapped my arms around her hugging her tightly and started to cry again. Geezish I will be in bed early tonight, talk about draining. Tayler rocked me back and forth trying to get me to calm down. Tayler was like a sister I never had, and she knew that. I finally calmed down a little and tried to wipe my face free of tears. Tayler watched me.

“I think if you can stand to be around them, you should do these photos� she said “It’ll show how professional you are…not to mention roll in the dough�
I laughed and sniffled “I think I’ll do it� I said
Tayler smiled “Awesome� she said and patted my back
I laughed and hugged her once more “Thanks Tay� I said
“Don’t mention it� she replied
I’m so glad I can talk to her about anything.

Did you forget the magic
Did you forget the passion
Did you ever miss me
Ever long to kiss me

~1 week later~

So that was that, I was going to take the pictures of Justin and his parents. I called up Sandy that night and told him to call the Harless’ and set a date while Jonny was at the club. It was going to be at the end of the month. Then I told Jonny when he got home that night and he said he supported my decision. I just hope I can pull it off with out any complications.

Today is out 7th month anniversary; I know I know nothing huge right? But I like to celebrate them and Jonny just went along with me cause he loved me. We never did anything huge just maybe a nice dinner; last month he took me to a play. Anyway today while at work he sent me a heart vase with a dozen roses and a bag of assorted chocolates (He’s never done that before). I was too excited and the envy of every girl in the office.

Now I’m back at home in the bedroom trying to figure out what to freakin wear. I had to meet Jonny at Ruth Chris in an hour (it was a half hour away). He left early because he had ‘things’ to take care of. So there I was in my robe looking through my dresses for the 5th time. I just finished my hair which was simply curly and down (like Jonny likes it). Finally I decided on a red dress, it went down to my mid-thighs and had skinny straps. He always said I looked good in red. So I got that on and slipped on black heels, putting my stuff into my black hand purse. I did my make-up and looked at myself once more in the mirror before grabbing my keys and headed down stairs into my car and drove to Ruth Chris. I reached the restaurant and had the valet park my car. Jonathan was waiting outside, dressed in a black suit with a black shirt; it made his eyes pop out, oh geez and my knees weak. He was holding a single rose and was looking around. I smiled and made my way towards him. He saw me coming and smiled walking towards me. We reached each other and he hugged me tightly.

“Hey baby� he said kissing my cheek
“Hi� I said giggling, feeling giddy
We broke the hug and he handed me the rose
“This is for you� he said winking
I took it and smiled, smelling it
“Thank you� I said

He held his arm out and slipped mine around his and we walked inside the restaurant. We were seated right away and Jonny even pulled out my chair, I sat with a smile as he sat across from me. The waiter told us the specials and we ordered out drinks and he left.

“So, how were the things you had to take care of?� I asked him
He laughed “You’ll see� he said
“Is it for me?� I asked smiling
He shook his head “You’ll see� he said
I huffed and pouted
“Did you like your flowers?� He asked, taking a drink of his beverage
I smiled and nodded “Yes, thank you� I said “All the girls were so jealous�
He laughed “That’s what I was hoping for� he winked

We got into a steady stream of conversation about everything. He’s so cute and he’s actually spoiling me. It was new for him and I didn’t know why. I mean we weren’t perfect we had our fights but it had been awhile. Our food came and we ate and talked, laughed, I couldn’t believe how much fun I was having. Jonny excused himself for a minute, and I sat looking around the place. I looked to my right and saw him. I even did a double take, no freakin way. Why of all places? Justin was sitting there with his ‘girlfriend’, talking animatedly like he did with his hands. His girlfriend was full out laughing covering her mouth with her hand. Yuck. I was too busy being disgusted by their presence; I didn’t notice Jonny who was sitting in his seat now.

“Who you lookin at?� he asked
I shook my head and looked at him, my face turning pink
“Oh no one, just spacing out� I said smiling
He picked up his glass taking a drink. Okay I need to calm down, time for me to go to the bathroom.
“Excuse me ok?� I asked standing up

He nodded and I made my way to the rest room with my purse. I walked into the bathroom and sighed. I went to the vanity mirror and put my purse down on the counter. I wiped off my lip stick to re-do it, and made my dress just right, fluffed my hair and again took a deep breath. I’ll be okay; he hasn’t even seen me yet. I can get through the rest of dinner. I looked myself over and walked out the door almost running into someone as I walked down the hallway.

“Excuse me� I heard
Oh NO! I looked up and saw him. There he was. No! Not today. He looked back at me his blue eyes boring into mine. Geezish.
“Wow, look at you� he said
It took me a minute to find my voice, please don’t let him ruin my night.
“Well, aren’t you gonna say anything?� he asked
Oh God, let this be a dream. I blinked, damn it he was still there.
“Umm Hi� I said not quite sure what to say
He chuckled “You clean up nice� he said looking me up and down.
I could feel my cheeks burning, and knew they were turning pink.
“Special occasion?� he asked
God speak! Talk! Say something to the guy; you’re being a total spazz.
“Yes actually� I said smiling (trying my best anyway)
“Hmm� he replied nodding “Oh my parents are excited you decided to take the photos�
“Really?� I asked
He nodded “Yea, my mom was afraid you would do it cause you know…what had happened�
“Oh that, water under the bridge� I said
He smiled “Wow� he said “I’m impressed�
He walked towards me, and I took a step back. My back hit the wall. Sh*t.
“Well, I really should get back� I said and turned to walk away.
I felt a hand hold onto my arm and I turned and looked at Justin, who was the owner of the hand.
“Wait� he said
I looked at him, into his eyes. Oh geez, look away! My eyes moved to his lips just as he licked them. Okay, wrong place to look. I looked at my feet.
“What Justin?� I asked
“I um…I really miss you� he replied “I jus wanted to know what you’ve been up too�
“This is nor the time or place for that� I replied
With that he left go of my arm.
“You’re right� he said and sighed
I looked at him, as he ran a hand through his curls. Oh the curls, they were always so soft. He used some special conditioner or something to make them like that.
“Why don’t we get together…before the photo shoot you know, to catch up� I suggested.
WHAT? Brooke shut up! What are you doing? Justin must’ve been as shocked as I was because he was actually quiet. He licked his lips and rubbed them together.
He chuckled “Sure, your boyfriend gonna have a problem with that?�
I looked at him “No, because it’s business� I replied
“Is it?� He asked taking a step towards me.

Our faces were inches apart, his breath that was always minty fresh waffled over my face. I closed my eyes for a second and felt his soft lips on mine. I thought I was gonna pass out, as his arms wrapped around me pulling me against him. Oh gosh, his kisses were like no others. I put my hands to his face, kissing him deeper feeling his tongue snake into my mouth. I groaned and leaned into him as he pushed me against the wall. When my back hit the wall, reality hit. Jonny was waiting, what was I doing? Finally breaking the spell, I broke the kiss quickly moving my lips from his panting. Justin looked at me, he was panting as well.
“I gotta go� I said gulping “Don’t call me please, I’ll see you at the photo shoot�
With that I walked back to the table, rubbing my lips together. This isn’t good, I can’t do this. Jonny was sipping his drink when I sat down in my chair.

“I thought you fell in� he said smiling
I laughed “No, long line, you know how girls are� I said
He nodded, just then out of the corner of my eye I saw Justin walk back to his table. I hope we leave soon.
“You want desert or anything?� he asked me
I looked at him, then smiled “No, I’m good� I said
“You sure?� he asked
I nodded taking a sip of my drink.
“Okay cause I wanted to give you this� he said putting a long rectangle box in front of me.
I looked at him, my eyes big. No way! Not on our 7th month anniversary. It’s not that big, oh no. I looked at it, then at him. He smiled.
“C’mon open it� he replied
“Jonny I� I looked at him “I didn’t get you anything�
He laughed “Don’t worry about that� he said “Jus open it�
I bit my lip and looked at him. He nodded. I reached and picked up the box and lifted the lid. Ahh! He didn’t! I gasped and looked at him, my eyes about to pop out of my sockets.
“Oh Jonny� I said taking the 14K gold bracelet out of the box.
No diamonds or jewels, just a plain gold bracelet. He smiled brightly watching me.
“You like it?� he asked
“I love it, you really shouldn’t of� I said
He smiled “Here let me help you put it on� he stood up and walked next to me kneeling beside me and put the bracelet on my wrist. He clasped the lock and I smiled.
“Thank you� I said and leaned into kiss his lips lightly
Then I hugged his neck tightly, and giggled. He laughed and hugged me back.
“Happy anniversary� he whispered
“Happy anniversary� I said and kissed him passionately.
What was I thinking; Jonathan is the one I love.

Maybe that’s just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

I wish I could say we lived happily ever after but, I’m Brooke Jamerson, my life doesn’t turn out that way. The rest of our anniversary was the most romantic ever, even better then Valentines Day. We had an incredible rest of the evening.

But the next day I got to my office and there were already 5 messages from Justin, pleading for us to meet before the shoot. I couldn’t because we both know what would happen if we did meet. I had been quite busy this week, I had projects coming to a close and new ones coming up. And to top it off, Jonny was leaving me for the weekend. He was going home to visit his mom in Ireland for her birthday. I was invited to go, but I had so much work to get done, he understood. Next time his family was going to come out here and stay with us. Anyway, so this was the last weekend before the big shoot with Justin and his family. I was feeling fine about it, until the kiss we shared. Now I can’t stop thinking about him! He leaves messages for me all day long at work. What am I gonna do? He broke up with me in the 1st place. Geez! So messed up.

So here I am, sitting at my desk on Friday afternoon. Jonny left this morning for Ireland and now I’m all alone. I wanted to spend some girl time with Tayler and Jenna but let’s see how that works out. So I’m sitting in my office, staring out the window day dreaming about Justin. WHY? NO! Wrong boy! Then my office phone rang. I jumped, sh*t, and reached over and grabbed it not looking at the caller ID (which I usually did).

“This is Brooke� I replied
“Brooke, you answered�
I froze, SH*T! I looked at the caller ID: Justin Timberlake showed. Damn it! Stupid, Stupid.
“Hello?� came his voice again
“Uh, Justin…hey�
“Hey, taking my calls now?� he questioned sarcastically
Damn, I hate it when he acts like that. Jerk.
“Not really, I can hang up� I replied with sarcasm back at him.
“No no please� he said, his tone changing instantly
I leaned back in my chair, the phone to my ear
“What do you need Justin?� I asked
He was quiet for a minute, I could hear him breathing
“I need you� Justin replied
My mouth opened in shock. I waited 6 months to hear him say that after we broke up. Then I met Jonathan and it didn’t matter. So I thought.
“Justin, you can’t do this to me� I said “Please don’t�
“I can’t help it� he said “I need you Brooke�
I could tell by his tone he was pouting
“What about your little girlfriend?� I asked
“She’s nothing compared to you baby, you know that�
Oh no, he was getting to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Justin, you broke up with me!� I replied
“I know, but I was stupid too…please Brooke�
“Please what Justin?� I asked getting angry, why couldn’t I just hang up?
“Meet me, so we can talk about this� Justin said
I sighed “Talk? That’s it?� I asked
“Of course� he replied
Should I trust him? Probably not. But if we meet I WILL have control of myself. I sighed.
“Fine� I replied “But in a public place, and just as friends you got it?�
He laughed “I got ya. How about tonight?�
He suggested some café in town.
“Fine, I’ll see you there at 7:30� I said
“7:30, see you then�
We hung up. I leaned my head on my arm. What am I doing to myself?

~*~

I walked into the café dressed in some dark denim jeans, a pink thin long sleeve sweater shirt. My black boots, my hair up and make up on. I looked around and saw Justin sitting in the back. Oh gosh he looked so good in jeans and a checkered button up red shirt. He was casually looking over the paper menu, and I took a deep breath before heading over to him. He looked up as I sat down across from him. He smiled.

“Hey� he said
I smiled. He handed me a menu
“Here, order anything, my treat� he said
“Wow, how generous� I said rolling my eyes
He laughed and shrugged. I looked over the menu to avoid looking at him because if I do. OoOo geez. We ordered out drinks and meals, and Justin looked at me once again.
“So what’ve you been up to?� he asked

That started it. We began to talk and laugh about everything. I was with him for a long time; he was like a best friend to me at one time. He just told me about what he’d been doing; the cases that took him around the world, etc. It was amazing what he had accomplished in a year with out me by his side. I in turn told him about the experiences with Sandy and Black Book Publishing. And I hadn’t mentioned Jonathan once that whole conversation. He did ask me about Tayler and Jenna which surprised me. I in return asked him about Trace who was engaged to his actress girlfriend. We talked for hours; I couldn’t believe we were getting along. I looked down at my watch. Geezish 9:45. I didn’t even want to go home. I was having too much fun. Justin took a sip of his coffee when I looked at my watch.

“Got somewhere to be?� he asked
I looked at him and shook my head no
“I jus can’t believe we’ve been talking this long and haven’t fought yet� I said
He laughed and nodded
“Yea� he replied “That last month of our relationship with brutal�
I remember it all to well. I was dying for us to move in together, and trying to find work; was depressed because I couldn’t. And Justin was busy with work and had no time for me.
“I was still shocked you broke up with me� I said
He looked at me, his blue eyes meeting my brown ones
“You know I never meant to hurt you� he said
I shrugged “Truthfully…I thought we would get married. I didn’t want anyone else but you Jus�
Did I just call him Jus? He was as shocked as I was. He stared at me for a minute before taking another drink of his coffee.
“Did you really?� he asked
“Yes! I devoted 3 years of my life to you� I said
He reached over the table and took my hand. Oh gosh, his skin. He rubbed his thumb over my hand looking me in the eye.
“I thought I was too� he said

~*~

The rest of the evening was a blur. The next thing I knew Justin was laying over me in his boxer briefs and me in my bra and underwear in his house, on his silk sheeted king size bed. He was kissing down my neck his hands caressing the right places making me want him even more. I was rubbing my hands up his sweaty back, moving them up to his hair. Oh geez, his hair. I ran my fingers through his curls guiding his lips over my skin that was on fire with each touch. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the silk pillow moaning at the feel of his lips on my skin. His touch was driving me crazy. His hands were working off my underwear as I worked off his boxer briefs. We laid there buck naked in his bed, as he panted my name working himself into ecstasy.

~*~

I woke up to the sun shinning brightly in my face. I groaned and sunk lower in the silk covers. Wait silk? My eyes popped open and I almost screamed. I gasped and sat up; Justin was lying next to me peacefully asleep. NO! This didn’t happen. He was breathing deeply, lying on his stomach, his mouth open. I looked under the covers at myself and felt tears start to well in my eyes. I slept with him. SH*T! I got out of bed and looked around for my clothes. I found them scattered around the bedroom and quickly put them on. I walked into the foyer of his house and found my shoes and purse by the front door. Thank God I hope my car is outside. I opened the door quietly and raced out thanking my stars that I drove my car here. I hopped in and sped off towards home.

~*~

I reached home, and headed inside. I threw my clothes into the hamper and took a HOT shower. I felt so dirty. How could I do this to myself, to Jonathan? Why did Justin have power over me like no other? And to top it off I have to take photos of his family on Wednesday. I’m going to die.

You, you never looked so good

~1 year later~

I sat in my office, leaning back in my chair looking out the window. The sun was shinning into it, leaving my face warm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, a shimmer caught my eye. And I brought my left hand in front of my face to admire my engagement ring from, Jonathan. He proposed on Christmas, it was so romantic and unexpected. He invited his whole family out for the holiday and proposed to me right in front of them. How could I say no to that? I smiled at the ring and looked back out at the horizon. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock at my door. I turned just in time to see Sandy poke his head in.

“Hey, you busy?� he asked
I shook my head no “What’s up?� I asked
“Special delivery� he said and held up a package
He walked over to my desk.
I smiled “Thanks� I said
He put the package in front of me.
“We’re still on for dinner right?� he asked me
I nodded “Yea, Jonny wanted to know if you wanted to stop by the club after�
He laughed “A club huh?� he ran a hand through his hair “Yea, we’ll make an appearance�
I smiled “Great, we’ll see you tonight�

He nodded and walked out. I looked down at the package that lay on my desk. I unwrapped the brown paper, taking the book out of the paper. I looked at the leaf cover. ‘The Family Business’ it read. Catchy. I ran my fingers over the bubble letter tracing it along the author ‘Justin Timberlake’ then read below it ‘Photos By: Brooke Jamerson’. I smiled. I opened up the cover, he signed it himself. Wow.

Brooke –
Thought you’d like your own copy. Thanks again for taking the photos. Good luck with your life.
- Justin Timberlake
P.S. - Mom and Dad say hello

I leafed through the book. I’ll read it one of these days. I went to the middle of the book where the photos were. I looked them over. They were simple ones: the Timberlake/Harless office, the family, ones of themselves with important clients, etc. Nothing I hadn’t already seen. I closed the book and got up to put it on my book shelf where I put my other published work. I sat back down in my chair and looked out the window.

Justin and I never talked again after that (only briefly at the photo shoot). I think we needed closure. Our break up was sudden and shocking and we never got to fight. That night was just tension getting released. I never told Jonathan or Tayler and he never told his fiancé or Trace. Now we lived life like we never loved at all; each going out separate ways. But I’ll never forget how he looked that night outside the club. I’ll keep that picture in my memory, forever.

-*- The End -*-

Dedication: This story was not only written because the inspiration of Faith Hill and Tim McGraw who sing this song beautifully (I think they should make a duet album) and of course The Justin Timberlake. Also a message to my buddy Tayler; though we haven’t been super close, I’m glad we get to share this college experience together. Thank you for listening to me b*tch and complain and of COURSE reading my work (even though I know it sucks), and trusting me to READ your stuff as well. You’re an awesome writer and gifted artist. Remember I’ll be there when you need an ear or shoulder and I think it’s inspirational what you’re doing (with college) and I applaud you. Anyway, hope you liked this story. Please let me know what ya’ll think.

Like We Never Loved At All- Faith Hill and Tim McGraw