“Wear something sexy!”  He called over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.
    Jess looked at JC.  “Sexy?  I don’t own anything sexy!”
    “Sure you do,” Josh reached into her closet and pulled out a dress.
    “Josh, that’s not my dress.  Where did you get that?”
    “At the store, where else?”
    “You went shopping to buy me a dress?”  She looked at her best friend in disbelief.  “You hate shopping almost as much as I do.”
    "Yeah, but this was for a good cause.  I know how you pack for vacation, and I wanted to make sure you had something to wear on your date.  You’d better go get a shower.  Kelly will be here in ten minutes to do your hair and all that girlie stuff you women do.”
    “Josh,” she protested as he pushed her towards the bathroom, “I don’t do girlie stuff.”
    “Well, here’s your chance.  Oh, go with the ‘Moonlit’ body wash, much sexier than that orange stuff you have.”
    “You smelled my body wash?  What is wrong with this picture?”  Jess turned around to see that the bathroom door was closed and Josh was no longer any where to be seen.

    She shrugged and got herself into the shower.  After the cold water from the fountain, the shower felt really good.  She stayed in it much longer than ten minutes, and when she did get out, she nearly jumped out of her skin to see Kelly standing in the bathroom with a robe.
    “Quick, Jess, get this on.  We’re losing time here!”  Kelly wrapped the robe around Jess and pushed her into a chair.  Jess didn’t have much choice but to let Kelly do what she was going to do to her hair.
    “So, Chris, huh?”  She made eye contact in the mirror as she started combing out Jess’ hair.
    “Yep.”
    “Care to elaborate?”  Kelly eyed her hopefully.
    Jess smiled and gave a sigh.  “He’s so sweet.  I’ve liked him for a long time, and he asked me out.”
    “So, how was Navy Pier?”
    “I had a lot of fun.  Chris was great.  He was so attentive and he made me feel so special.  I don’t know how to explain it.”
    “I do.  You two belong together.  He let down his guard and showed you his serious and sensitive side, and you let down your guard and had fun.  You’re good for each other.”  Kelly smiled as she started to place rollers in Jess’s hair.
    Jess thought about it.  “That could be it.  I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
    “So, give me the dirt, did he kiss you?” Kelly grinned.
    “Well, sorta.”  Jess shrugged.
    “Sorta?  How do you get sorta kissed?”
    “Well, I mean, he kissed my forehead and my nose.  I’m not complaining, I liked those kisses, but…”
    “But he didn’t kiss you kiss you yet, huh?” smirked Kelly.
    “Yeah, but honestly, I don’t know if I want him to.  I’m not sure I’m ready.” Jess shrugged.
    Kelly rolled her eyes, “Jess, a kiss isn’t a marriage proposal.”
    “I know, Kell, I’m just scared.  I’m not really good with relationships, you know?  I like him, but I don’t want things to move too fast, and I don’t want to screw things up.”  
    Kelly looked her squarely in the eyes.  “Jess, just relax.  How long have we known Chris?”
    Jess thought about it, “As long as we’ve known each other, I guess.”
    "Yeah, and let me tell you something, Jess, in all that time, I’ve never seen either of you as happy as you were today.  I saw the way he looked at you and the way he held your hand.  Jess, the boy is smitten!  And then there’s you.  Girl, you look  like you’ve been lit up from the inside.  Something about the way he cares for you just makes you come alive, I can see it just by looking at you.  Just let go, Jess.  Don’t let all your fears hold you back.”
    “Thanks, Kelly, you’re right.  I need to stop thinking about it and just live in the moment, right?”
    “Yep, and in this moment, you’ve got to get your dress on,”  Kelly laughed as she pulled Jess out of the chair.

    Half an hour later, Jess stood there, amazed by her reflection.  The dress JC had chosen was perfect.  The midnight blue colour brought out the colour of her eyes.  It was sleeveless, and clung to her figure from her bust to her waist, then it flared out into a full skirt that ended just above her knees.  She giggled and did a spin.  
Her heart jumped into her throat when she heard the knock at the door.  She took a deep breath and willed her heart to return to its regular place before she went to the door.  
    Chris’s jaw dropped to his chest when Jess opened the door.  “Wow,” he whispered.
    His reaction gave her a moment to take in his appearance as well.  As usual, Chris did not have a hair out of place.  His goatee was trimmed with the utmost precision.  He wore a royal blue dress shirt and matching tie under a black suit.  He looked very, very good.
    “Chris?”  Jess’s voice brought him back to himself.
    “Wow, you are stunning,” he met her eyes and grinned broadly at her.
    “Thank you,” she flushed.  “You look great too.”
    He offered her his elbow.  “Shall we?”
    Jess picked up her wrap and clutch and took his arm.  “Let’s!”
    They heard doors closing quickly as they headed towards the elevator.  Jess rolled her eyes, “Honestly, don’t these people have anything better to do?”
    Chris laughed, “Hey, I can’t blame those guys for wanting to get a look at you!”
    As they passed before the last door, it popped open and a wolf whistle was heard.  The door happened to be on Jess’s side of the hallway, so she reached out and gave it a hard shove inwards.
    “Oof!”  Jess and Chris laughed.  The door opened and Justin pouted out at them.  “What was that for?  I was merely expressing my admiration for the beautiful woman!”
    As they got in the elevator, Chris called, “Hey, Justin, she’s with me!  Go ogle someone else!”
    The doors closed before they heard Justin’s reply which was probably just as well.  They were alone in the elevator.  Chris hit the emergency stop button.  
    Jess looked at him with anxiety obvious on her face.  
    “Don’t worry, Sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear.  “I just wanted to take a minute here and now to tell you how beautiful you are.”  
    Jess felt her insides melt as Chris’s body got closer to hers.  She was pretty sure that now he was going to kiss her.  Then, the emergency phone rang.
    “Damn!”  Chris muttered before he picked it up.  “Hello.  No, everything’s fine.  Oh, you have security cameras.  Can you blame me for wanting a moment alone with this fine woman here?”  Chris gestured towards Jess.  “Yeah, I’ll tell her.  OK, I’ll hit the button.  Thanks.”
    Chris turned towards Jess.  “The security guy thinks you’re a hottie.”
    “Oh, that’s nice,” she replied dryly.
    The elevator reached the lobby and they stepped out.  As they were passing the front desk, the security guard gave them a grin and a thumbs up.  Jess hid her face against Chris’s shoulder in embarrassment, but Chris just grinned and gave a thumbs up back.
    The doorman approached them, “Mr. Kirkpatrick?  Your limousine is here.”
    Jess’s head shot up.  “What??”
    Chris smiled, “You’re surprised?  I don’t know why.  You my dear, deserve only the best.”
    Chris assisted Jess into the limo and stopped to talk to the driver before getting in beside her.  Jess was nervous.  Her knee was bouncing up and down uncontrollably.  It didn’t help a lot when Chris put his hand on her knee to stop it.  
    “Hey,” he whispered.  “Relax.  It’s just you and me having dinner.  Nothing else, OK?”
    She looked at him.  “I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I’m acting like a star-struck teenager.”
    Chris took her hand and placed it over his heart.  “If you are, then I am too,” he smiled.  She felt that his heart was racing and they both laughed.
    “OK, I feel better now.”
    “Good, I’m glad.  But, you know, you are cute when you’re nervous.”
    “Gee, thanks, Chris,” she answered sarcastically.  “I’ll have to remember that for when I meet the Backstreet Boys.”
    “Oh, now, Jess, that was low!”  Chris pouted.
    Jess just looked at him and laughed some more.  Before she knew it, they had reached their destination.  Chris got out of the car and turned to take Jess’s hand.
    “Hey, isn’t this Navy Pier?”  
    “Yep,” he replied.
    “Weren’t we here already today?”
    “Yep.”
    “You’re not going to tell me anything else, are you?”
    He laughed.  “Nope.”
    She held on to his arm and they walked down the pier together.  It was getting dark, so he wasn’t as easily recognized.  The lights reflecting off the water were beautiful.  The wind off the water was cool so Jess pulled her wrap a little tighter around her shoulders.
    Chris took Jess past the restaurants and towards the gardens.  He stopped at the entrance to Crystal Gardens and was met by a hostess.
    “Mr. Kirkpatrick, Ms. Crosby, my name is Holly.  Your table is ready, will you follow me?”
    Jess was stunned.  She looked at Chris.  He smiled, but didn’t say anything until the hostess left.
    “What?” he asked.
    “We’re in the gardens.  There isn’t anyone else here.  We’re having dinner in the gardens alone?  You told me not to be nervous, and you take me to dinner in the gardens?  Are you crazy?  Am I crazy?”
    “Relax, Jessamyn.  They do private parties here all the time.  This time, it just happens to be a party of two.”  He reached across the table and took both of her hands in his.  “I wanted a private evening for the two of us.  No fans, no cameras, just you and me.  Don’t be nervous, OK?  I really want you to have a great time.”
    “OK,” she smiled weakly at him.  “Thank you, Chris.  It’s really beautiful here.”
    Chris reluctantly released her hands as the waiter arrived.  While the two of them looked over their menus, Chris caught Jess’s eye.  “If you dare to order a salad or a low carb meal, I’m going to have to throw you in the lake!”
    “Whatever!  You should know me well enough to know I don’t eat low carb anything.  Heck, in Cosmo, they say that you should order the most expensive dish on the menu and not eat it, just to see what kind of guy you’re dating.”  Chris laughed at this point.  “But don’t worry, I’m crazy that way.  I only order something that I really would like to eat.”
    “Oh, you’re one of those real girls I’ve heard about.  One who actually tastes the food they order and can carry on intelligent conversation.”  Chris teased.
    They placed their orders.  While they were chatting, the waiter came and poured their wine.      
Chris raised his glass.  He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words.  “To giving romance a chance,” he smiled at her.
    Jess giggled.  “How about ‘To silly boys who finally wake up and see the girl next door?’”
    “Um, to beautiful women who give the silly boy a chance even if he’s been thinking about her for a long time and takes forever to ask her out.”
    Jess pretended to be weighing her options.  “OK, I’ve got it.  To friendship that’s become more than friendship with the possibility for more.”
    Chris looked directly in her eyes.  “To the way you make me feel.  To the two of us together (finally), to my dear friend who has become so much more to me and I hope will become even more.”      He reached out and tapped her glass with his before she could come up with another toast.  It didn’t matter, because she was sitting there, gazing at him with a rapt expression on her face.  She came to herself quickly and sipped her wine.  Chris held her hand and they gazed into each other’s eyes until their meal was brought out.
    They talked during their meal about everything and anything.  They were comfortable with each other again and could be themselves.  Part way through dinner, Jess looked up at Chris.              “Thank you.”
    “For what?” he smiled.
    She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.  “For letting me see the real you, not crazy Chris, not silly Chris, just Chris.”  
    He blushed.  “Just Chris can be a little boring.”
    She shook her head.  “No way.  You’re never boring.”

    When their meal was finished, Chris excused himself to go and take care of something.  He was acting rather secretive, so Jess knew he was up to something.  She decided just to let him have his fun.      Rather than stay sitting alone at the table, Jess got up and wandered through the gardens.  The flowers were captivating.  There were so many colours and shapes.  She stood for a few minutes looking out at the water.  She was startled to suddenly hear Chris’s voice behind her and feel his fingers in her hair.
    “Woman, do you know what you do to me?”  He growled as he drew her hair to one side.  He put his chin on her shoulder and  his arms around her waist.  
    Jess squirmed.  “No, but, I know what you do to me!  That beard of yours tickles!”
    Chris laughed and rubbed his beard into her neck.  “This tickles, huh?  I’ll have to remember that.”  
    Jess giggled and tried to get away from his beard.  She turned around to defend herself but stopped short when she realized they were now standing face to face, just inches apart.  She blushed and looked away from him, too nervous to look him in the eye.  Chris smiled, adoring the fact that she was so shy.  
    “Hey,” he whispered.  She looked up.  “I’ve been dying to do this all day.”  With that, he gently ran his fingers through her hair and brought her face up to his.  He lowered his mouth to hers.  Despite her seeming hesitation, she met him halfway.    
    The second that their lips met, fireworks exploded.  Literally.  Although the kiss was gentle and sweet and everything that a first kiss should be if it’s done right, the two of them broke it off fairly quickly because they were laughing.
    “OK, Chris, how did you possibly arrange that one?”  Jess giggled.
    “Me??  No way.  I’m good, Babe, but I’m not that good!  They do fireworks every Wednesday night.  We must just have impeccable timing.  Can we try that again?”  
    Jess didn’t answer him with words.  Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her.  It was hard to kiss him with the huge grin on his face, but she did.  When they separated, both were a little weak-kneed.  Chris led Jess to a bench.  
    “Holly said this was the best place to view the fireworks from,” he told her.  Chris straddled the bench.  He swung Jess around so that she was sitting between his legs with her back leaning against his chest.  She snuggled back into him as he put his arms around her.  It was cozy and comfortable.  It felt like she was finally in the place she was meant to be.
    Jess sighed contentedly.
    Chris placed a kiss on the top of her head.  “Whatcha thinking?”
    She turned her head so she could see him.  “Happy thoughts.”
    “Good.”  
    They watched the fireworks exploding over the water.  They oooed and ahhh-ed at appropriate times, enjoying the colours and the music.  
    After a while, Chris’s curiosity got the better of him.  “So, are those happy thoughts about me?”  
    “Wouldn’t you like to know?”  Jess teased  “Hey, did you mean it before when you said that you had been thinking of me for a long time?”
    “Well, yeah.  I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.  I mean, I haven’t liked you forever or anything.  For pity sake, you were practically a kid when I met you…”
    Jess interrupted.  “Whatever!  I’m less than two years younger than you!”
    “Like I said,” he laughed.  “You were practically a kid when I met you.  And quit interrupting or I won’t tell you any more.  Now where was I?  I thought you were pretty when JC first introduced us, but wow!  You’ve been getting more gorgeous the last few years.  I’ve noticed and so have the other guys.  Man, I’m surprised JC even let us hang around you.  But you know what?  The truth is that being around you makes me happy.”
    Jess smiled.  “You really know how to make a girl feel special, Chris.”
    “So, do tell, how long have you been pining after me?”
    “First of all, I don’t pine.  OK, maybe I pine a little bit.  Oh, stop trying to confuse me!  It’s been awhile.  I remember when Josh introduced us.  I noticed your kind brown eyes.  Of course, I was pretty sure at that time that you were crazy.  But, after I spent time touring with you guys, and I got to know you better, I realized you weren’t really certifiable.  I’ve been interested in you for a while.  I don’t know when it started, but it’s been growing over the last couple of years.  It didn’t help that you had a girlfriend every time I saw you.”
    Chris interrupted.  “Wait!  Did you say a couple of years?  Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
    “Didn’t I just say that you always had a girlfriend?  I’m not the kind of girl to go in and try to break people up.  Besides, I wasn’t ready.  I needed that time to find myself.  I had to know who I was on my own.  It’s not like I’ve been sitting there moping over you for the last two years.  It started small.  One day, I realized how sweet you were.  I saw how you cared about people, and I fell for you slowly but surely.  Josh is the only person who knew.  He saw the way I looked at you once and he called me on it.  It is very annoying having a best friend who knows you so well sometimes.”
    “Hey, let’s not talk about Josh, OK?”
    “Sounds good to me.”
    The two settled back and watched the fireworks until they were finished.  Jess sat up and pulled out of Chris’s embrace.  She was starting to feel sleepy and didn’t want to doze off.  She looked at Chris and saw a mischievous grin on his face.
    “Oh no, what are you up to now?”
    He just smiled.  “You’ll see.”  He stood up and reached for her hand.  Some music started playing softly.  “I believe you owe me a dance, Miss.”
    “You may be right, sir.”  She agreed as he placed his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.  She revelled in the feeling of closeness.  Here was warmth and acceptance.  Here there was love…well, not love…it could hardly be love on a first date, could it?  Definitely caring.  There was caring.  
    Chris released her left hand and moved his hand to her face.  He tenderly brushed his fingers down her cheek.  Jess closed her eyes and sighed.  Chris couldn’t hold back any longer.  He placed gentle kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids.  Just before the first song ended and the next began, he kissed her softly on her lips.  
    At first, Jess responded to his kiss and kissed him back, so Chris wasn’t totally prepared when she suddenly tensed up and pulled away from him.  
    “Jess?  What’s wrong?” he asked as he gently ran his fingers through her loose hair on her back.
    She had all ready placed her head in his shoulder, facing away from him.  “Um, nothing.  Could you just hold me for a bit?”
    “Sure,” he replied.  “Did you mean dance and hold you or just hold you?”
    She laughed.  “Whichever you like.”
    They danced to a couple more songs.  Then Chris stopped dancing and put his hand under her chin so he could look her in the eye.  “Look, why don’t we get out of here?”
    Jess didn’t make eye contact.  “Yeah, OK.”  She went back to the table to retrieve her purse and let Chris finish up the details.  As she bent to pick up her wrap, Chris passed her his cel phone.  
    “JC’s number 4.”  Jess looked up at him quizzically.  “Look, honey, I can tell something is bothering you and I thought maybe if you weren’t ready to talk to me about it, maybe you should talk to him.  I’ll wait for you outside, OK?”  
    Jess opened the phone and looked at it.  She sat staring at the phone for a couple of minutes before snapping it closed and slowly getting to her feet.  She found Chris outside with his back to her, looking out over the water.  Jess slid her arms around his waist.
    Chris pulled her around in front of him so he could hold her too.  “Hey,” he smiled.  “That was quick.”
    Jess laughed.  “Yeah, well, you know how Josh and I kinda know each other inside and out?”  Chris nodded.  “I didn’t have to call him because I knew what he’d tell me and he’d be right.”  She sighed.          “Chris, there’s some stuff I need to tell you, but not tonight.  I’ve had such a great day and don’t want to end it on a negative note.”
    “I can live with that.  Would you like to go for a walk?”
    “Sure, that would be nice.”
    Chris took her hand and they walked around for a couple of hours, just talking and enjoying each other’s company.
    When they finally made it back to the hotel, Jess was wearing Chris’s suit jacket to keep warm.  He walked her to her door and they stood awkwardly for a moment.
    “So,” Chris shrugged his shoulders.  “I really enjoyed our day, and I’d like to see you again.”
    Jess smiled.  “I had a great time too.  You’ll see me in the morning, remember?  I’m going on tour with you guys for a few days.”
    “That’s not what I meant and you know it, smart ass!” he laughed.  “Seriously, will you want to go out with me on a date again?”
    “Yes, I’d like that a lot.”  She tried, but she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face.
    “Great!  I know you’ll want to spend some down time with JC, but maybe we could spend a couple free hours together or something.”  
    “Sure, that would be great.”  She looked up into his eyes.  “What?”
    “Nothing.  I’m just thinking about how much I want to kiss you goodnight.”
    “Oh really?”
    “Well, not really, because that will mean that our date is over, but yeah, I’d really like to kiss you.”
    She took a step closer to him.  “I’m not going anywhere.”
    He grinned, “Yeah, so I noticed.  Come here then!”  He pulled her into his arms and closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness of her body to his.   “I had a wonderful time,” he whispered.  
    “Me too,” she replied.  She brought her lips up to meet his.  Again, they both felt the spark of their kiss.  They kissed each other gently and tenderly until Joey stumbled by them on his way to his room.
    “Get a room already!” he muttered at them.
    Chris stepped back and apologized.  “I’m sorry, that was supposed to have been a quick goodnight kiss.”
    “You’re apologizing for kissing me?” she asked defensively.
    “No way!  I’m not sorry I kissed you!  I’m only sorry that I kissed you like that in a place where others could observe and comment about it.”
    She smiled.  “OK, well that’s better then.  Oh, here, I still have your jacket.”  She shrugged out of his jacket and handed it back to him.  “Thanks!”
    “You’re welcome,” he smiled.  “Good night, Jessamyn,” he whispered and kissed her forehead.
    “Good night, Christopher,” she sighed.

Jess was wending her way through the corridors backstage, trying to locate the guys' dressing room. She and Kelly had met with Mary and couple of other girls on crew for coffee. They enjoyed quite a few laughs together before heading back to the venue.

She was getting frustrated by the labyrinth of electrical cables and props. It was when she took her eyes off the floor to check her surroundings that she tripped over a cord and nearly did a face plant into the floor.

"Whoa there! Watch your step, little lady," Justin said as he caught her arm to steady her.

"Thanks, Justin. That would have been painful," she laughed.

"No problem. Why are you wandering around aimlessly?"

"Oh, I'm not aimless. I'm aiming to find Mr Kirkpatrick. Any idea where he is? He told me to meet him back here. He's not in the game room, and he's not in craft and I can't find the dressing room."

He laughed, "Sure, come with me." Justin led her down another hallway that she hadn't seen on her recent rambles and stopped in front of a door. He rapped on the door. "You guys decent? Female entering!" Justin held the door open so Jess could enter.

"Hold on! I've still got my pants on," Chris hollered.

"And they'd better be staying on," JC responded. "None of us wants to see what's under those."

Chris and JC started wrestling and Jess and Justin jumped up on a couch to get out of their way. Justin looked at Jess and shrugged. "Well, there he is," he nodded to the two on the floor. "What do you say, now that you've seen him, don't you want to go for a younger guy?"

"Hmm, tempting," Jess laughed and scooted closer to him as the wrestlers got a little too close for comfort, "But I've kind of got my heart set on this one."

Justin stepped down. "OK, but this window of opportunity is closing fast!" He stepped between JC and Chris to separate them. "Chris, you've been whining all day about missing Jess, well here she is. Go talk to her before she gets smart and leaves." He pushed Chris towards the couch and shoved JC towards the door.

Chris beamed at Jess as he sat down beside her. "Hi honey, J's right, I have missed you all day." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. "How was your girls' day?" he asked as he reached for her hand.

"Great! We had fun catching up. So, what's up? Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Chris was confused for a second. "What? Oh, yeah. First off, I'm glad you stuck around," he smiled. "I would have missed you way too much!"

"Aw, Chris, you're too sweet."

He sighed, "Yeah, I know," and tried to hide his laugh. "Are you OK with being here? I know you wanted time to think."

Jess shrugged. "I'm OK. I didn't really want to leave, I just felt like I needed to. I don't know if I needed space to think, or just to know that I had options, or what, but right at this moment, I'm fine being here, especially being with you." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, Chris stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. He turned and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "So, we're cool, right?"

"Yeah, of course we're cool. I have some stuff to work through, but we're cool."

"OK, I just wanted to be sure," he said as he stood up and reached into his pocket. "I had to tear my bunk apart to find something this morning and I found this under my pillow." He unfolded the envelope that he had given her the day before and gave it to her.

She took the envelope from him. "I, uh, I didn't read it yesterday because...well, partly because I fell asleep and partly because I'm afraid to know what is in there." She looked down at the envelope in her hands, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"It's OK, Jess, I'm not upset. Just, do me a favour, OK? Tell the part of you that is afraid that it's all good stuff and you should read it later with Pat."

"Who's Pat?" If he had been trying to get her to look up at him, it worked.

"Jess," he said while shaking his head, "Didn't you read the adoption certificate that came with your bear? I named him Pat, you know, short for Patrick, from Kirpatrick, after me."

Jess giggled. "Pat, huh? Well, OK, I'll make sure I call him Pat from now on. Did you read your bear's certificate?"

Chris's brow furrowed. "Yeah, but I don't get the name. What is ‘Mynnie' for?"

"Chris, what's my name?" she asked while laughing.

"Duh! It's Jess." He rolled his eyes.

"What's my real name, Goofball?" she shoved him.

"Jessamyn..." he paused and looked at her. "And?"

"Yeah, that's right, my name is JessaMYN. Do you get it?"

Chris rolled his eyes yet again. "OK, I get it. And it's cute, just like you!" He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Oh, Chris, that was just cheesy," she laughed.

He was about to retaliate when the rest of his band mates trekked into the room.

"Hey, guys," Justin smiled. "It's that time!"

"Oh, boy!" responded Chris as he giddily rubbed his hands together. "What the heck does that mean?"

"It means," said Joey, "That we get to go over what we can and can't say during today's meet and greet."

Chris sighed, "You mean I can't tell the story about the time we stripped Justin down to his boxers and made him run behind the bus?"

"Chris," Johnny shook his head as he entered the room. "It means that you two," he pointed towards Chris and Jess, "Need to decide what your official status is."

"But we've only been on one date!" Jess interjected. "That hardly qualifies as needing a status."

Johnny smiled at her, "Jess, my dear, one date with a member of this band qualifies as a status. Sorry to tell you, but you picked the wrong guy if you want to stay incognito. For today, I recommend you avoid the question all together, but if asked, Chris can say he's been dating a bit and Jess, you can say you don't want to discuss your personal life. Sound good?"

Joey saw the grimace on Jess's face. "Welcome to the world of celebrity, baby girl!" He mussed her hair up.

Jess whined, "All I want to do is write. I don't want to be a celebrity."

"Look at it this way," Joey smiled. "If you do a few ‘celebrity' gigs, you'll be able to afford to sit at home and work on that novel you've been talking about."

"Joey," she laughed. "You make an...an interesting point." Jess took a minute to try to find the right words, but Lance beat her to the punch.

"Joey, she's an artist, man. She wants to work her way up, make it on her art alone, kinda do the starving artist thing."

"Yeah, something like that, Lance." She laughed. "I don't want my work to be read because I'm popular, I want it to be read because it's good on it's own, you know?"

JC put an arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry, Jess, everything will come together the way it's meant to be." He gave her a hug, "Besides, you are a fantastic writer, and I have always thought so."

"Aw, thanks, Josh," she gave him a squeeze.

The five boys headed down the hall to start the meet and greet while Jess stayed behind and got a few more pointers from Johnny. She followed them a few minutes later, with Bryan at her heels.

Jess stood outside the door for a minute, trying to steel up her courage to go in. She took a deep breath, opened the door and tried to sneak in unobserved. Of course, since she was followed by a burly security guard, obscurity wasn't an option. Every head in the room turned to look at her and she silently wished the floor would open and swallow her up.

Justin motioned her to come forward. "Hey, it's Jess! Come on up here, Girl, I'm sure there are some questions for you too."

Jess slowly made her way towards the front of the room and accepted a quick hug from Justin. "Relax," he whispered. "Just go with the flow."

The moderator asked the crowd, "So, who has a question for Jess?" Jess was surprised that there were quite a few.

"Is JC a good kisser?" Jess laughed at this one. She looked at JC as if trying to evaluate his skill, but finally turned away and admitted the truth. "I have no idea. I've never kissed him. In the video, we look like we're going to kiss, but if you notice, we never did."

JC interrupted. "Jess!" he whined. "You were supposed to say that I'm a fantastic kisser. You're going to ruin my rep!"

Jess laughed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever! I'm not getting close enough to find out. Besides, I'm sure there are lots of girls here who wouldn't mind proving your theory right." Quite a few screams proved Jess was right and JC had the decency to blush just a little.

"Can you say ‘out and about'?" someone asked.

"Do I have to?" Jess asked. "I don't know why you all think it's so funny. I say it exactly the way you do!"

"No, you don't, Jess!" Joey laughed. "You're so Canadian you can't say it without it sounding like ‘oot and aboot.'"

"Fine, if I have to. Out and about." Everyone cracked up laughing. "I still don't think I sound any different than you."

"Now say, eh? For us," Joey smiled.

"No," Chris shook his head. "That one only sounds right when she says it unconsciously."

"What are you talking about? I don't say eh."

All five of them laughed. "Yes, you do!"

Jess just shook her head. There was no use trying to argue with all of them at once. She wasn't going to win that battle.

There were more questions for the guys and the last question of the day was funny. "Which one of you smells the best?" All of them declared themselves as the best smelling and asked Jess to back them up. Chris asserted that his nose worked the best, so therefore he smelled the best. Nobody accepted his answer.

Jess was called upon to give her "unbiased" opinion. "You want to know who smells the best? I think it would be easier to tell you who doesn't smell the best. I mean, they all have their moments, especially after performing for a couple of hours because as we all know, there is no deodorant that is going to stand up to the workout these guys do." She pretended to think about it. "OK, I'm going to have to say it's a five way tie. They all smell pretty funky, but if there are any beans on the menu, Joey totally out stinks everyone else."

"Hey!" Joey was about to chase after Jess, but all four of the other guys backed her up.

"It's true, Joe, you might as well accept it and move on."

Joey shook his head and reluctantly accepted his new title of smelliest in the bunch. He led the way to the tables where they would be autographing pictures. Jess was placed at the end of the line with a stack of pictures from the video to sign. She sat next to JC so they could both sign the picture of them.

By the end of the meet and greet session, Jess was wiped out. "I don't know how you do that before every show," she commented. "I mean, all I did was sign my name and talk to people and I could go to sleep right now. You guys have to do a whole show still."

"That's just because you're an introvert, and we're mostly extroverts," Chris shrugged. "Introverts can be outgoing, but it takes a lot of energy to do it. We're extroverts, so we get energy from being around people and stuff."

"And of course, the pixie sticks don't hurt either," Joey commented.

"Too true," Chris laughed. He turned to Jess. "I have to go get ready, babe. I'll see you after the show." He gave her a quick kiss before he left.

"Ouch! Damnit!"

Joey tried not to laugh as he heard Jess bump and thump outside his bunk. He opened the curtain and peaked out. "You OK, Princess?" he gave her a sleepy smile.

She met his eye and almost growled, "I was OK until I tripped over someone's clodhoppers. Seriously, who wears these boats? I'm gonna throw them at him!" Jess held up the pair of shoes she had tripped over.

Joey sat up and rubbed a hand through his already messy hair. "Ah, those clodhoppers would be Justin's. Leave them until tomorrow, we'll prank him somehow with them. What are you doing up?"

She shrugged. "Meh, just getting a drink."

"Can't sleep?" he asked.

She shook her head, "Nope. You?"

"Nope. Come on." Joey nodded his head towards the back of the bus and scooped up a blanket as he led her to the living room. He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and flopped down into a comfy chair, holding out one arm. "Come and sit with me."

Jess sat down and let Joey envelop her in the blanket. She leaned her head on his shoulder and snuggled in. "Mmmm. You're comfy, Joe."

He laughed. "Uh, thanks, I think. Why don't you try to sleep, Angel?"

She shook her head. "Nuh-uh." She rubbed her eyes. "Don' wanna."

"Fine. Then talk to me. What's going on?" He pulled the ‘big brother' card.

Her answer was a shrug and a mumbled, "Dunno".

This made him chuckle. "You don't talk much when you're exhausted, do you?" Then he quickly changed his tone, "Why don't we just cut the bullshit, Jess? I know you've been having nightmares." When he saw she was going to protest, he cut her off. "Don't even bother. I've been trying to sleep in the bunk under you all night and you talk in your sleep."

"You know?" she whispered, almost relieved that someone else knew her secret.

"Yeah," he replied with a slight nod of his head, "it wasn't that hard to figure out."

"You won't tell them, will you?"

"Pshaw," he rolled his eyes. "You know me better than that. Spill."

She shook her head. "No, Joe. I think I've done enough spilling in the last few hours. Why don't you tell me something for a change?"

"Oh? Like what for example?" he queried.

"Why don't you start with the real reason that you've been up all night-and don't even try to tell me it is because of me and my restlessness, you sleep through just about anything."

Joey chuckled softly. "Can't pull anything over on you, can I?"

"Nope," she shook her head. "So you spill first."

"All right, but this is just between you and me. I'm not ready to tell the guys yet." Jess nodded. "I don't know where to start, so I'll just tell you. I...I'm going to be a dad."

Jess tilted her head back to look at him. "Really?"

Joey smiled nervously. "Um, yeah."

"Wow! That is big news. Wow. Joe," she shook her head and smiled, "you're going to be such an amazing dad. I can hardly wait to see that."

He shook his head and asked quietly, "What do I know about being a father?"

"What's there to know, Joe?" she shrugged. "All you need is love, and the rest follows."

"You know, I could say the same about you and Chris," he smiled slyly.

Jess gave him her "What you talkin' ‘bout Willis?" look*, "Huh? You could say what about us?"

Joey tsked, "Please, you know what I mean. Relationships aren't that hard. All you need is love and the rest follows."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Joe. Anyway, I believe we are talking about you and Kelly. So. How is she doing? When is the baby due? Can I babysit?"

"Whoa, girl. One question at a time!" Joey giggled and then proceeded to answer all her questions. A while later, Joey sat back. "So, I think I'm done spilling. It's your turn now."

Realizing that Joey wouldn't be put off any longer, Jess relented and answered him. "Fine. You're right. I've been having nightmares again."

Joey looked her right in the eyes. "What do you mean, ‘again'?"

She knit her eyebrows together. "What? It's not like I haven't had them before. Just another one of the joys of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"So, how did you get rid of them last time?" he asked.

She sucked in her bottom lip and let it pop back out. "I saw a shrink. She made me talk about them and gave me some coping techniques."

"OK, so do you think if you tell me about the dreams, that might help you?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "but I guess it's worth a try. These dreams have been very vivid and they stay with me all day. They give me the creeps for hours."

"Hence another reason you've been holding back from Chris?" Joey interrupted.

"You mean because I'm creeped out? I hadn't thought of that," Jess replied pensively. "Maybe these nightmares have been a part of it."

"Well, what happens in your dreams? Are they the same each time?"

She shook her head, "No, not exactly the same, but they are similar. Basically, I keep dreaming about the night I was attacked. But instead of being knocked unconscious, I'm totally aware of everything that is going on. It's like I'm having an out of body experience with déjà vu thrown in for good measure because I know what is going to happen next. But, when the phone should ring, it doesn't. He just keeps beating on me and-and well, nothing stops him and he gets what he wants." She shuddered. "I usually wake up just as he's starting to get his way."

Joey tightened his hold on her. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. No wonder you've been so unnerved. "

Jess nodded, "Yeah. It's really been freaking me out. Every time I fall asleep, it starts all over again and I don't know how much more I can take."

Joey looked at his friend quaking against his side and wondered the same thing. She was normally a tough girl, but he could see that this was wearing her down. "What happened to start these dreams up again?" he asked.

Jess shrugged and avoided eye contact. "Who knows?"

Joey wasn't going to fall for it. He looked at her accusingly, "You do."

"Damn it!" she banged her fist against the couch, "Isn't it bad enough that JC can read me like a book? Why do you have to start?"

He smiled apologetically, "Come on, Jess. Just tell me. Maybe if you get it out in the open, it will stop the nightmares."

"I don't know, Joe," she shrugged. "The only thing that has kept the dreams away has been sleeping with one of you guys."

He smirked. "I'm going to let that one slide for now, because I know you didn't mean it that way."

Jess shoved him away from her. "Ew! Whatever, you pervert!" She laughed for a moment and then turned serious again. "OK, look, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell Josh or Chris or anyone else for that matter."

"Jess, I've already told you that I'm not going to talk to them. Anything you tell me tonight is in the strictest confidence unless you tell me otherwise."

"OK. I just don't want them to blame themselves because it's really not their fault..." she paused, not quite ready to go on.

"What's not their fault, Honey?" Joey prompted her.

"The nightmares, really, it's not their fault I'm having them. I blame him entirely. But whenever I get really stressed out about something, they start up again."

Joey nodded, "And let me guess, being shoved into the limelight because of the video didn't help."

"Yep. And then all this stuff with Chris isn't helping either."

"What stuff, Jess? I thought you guys were doing OK."

"Truthfully, Joey, I have no idea what we are. My last dating experience was four years ago with a guy who tried to rape me. I know Chris is not like him; I'm just scared out of my mind about relationships in general. Friendship is so much easier to deal with."

"Why don't you just treat it as friends with more?" He suggested with a shrug.

"I wish it was that easy," she grimaced.

"He really cares about you, Jess."

She sighed. "I know. I care a lot about him too."

Joey smiled. "Yeah, I know." He sat up a bit straighter. "Hey, how have you kept all this in for four years? It can't have been easy."

"No, it wasn't. But at first I was so afraid of looking stupid and then I just didn't want to open it all up again."

"Well, look, if you want to talk about it now or any time, I'm here and I'm willing to listen, OK?"

"Really, Joey? You'd be willing to sit here and listen to all the sordid details?"

"Of course, I would. You shouldn't have to question that. You know that I'd do anything for you, silly girl! Besides, it's not like JC is your only friend. All of us love you a whole lot."

"I know," she smiled. "I've certainly been blessed with great friends. Ok, just remember that this was your idea. I think holding all this inside is becoming too much for me." She paused to regroup. "So you know that the guy attacked me and all that. Did Josh tell you about how I moved here?" Joey nodded and she continued. "Did he tell you about the trial?" Joey shook his head this time.

"Well, in Canada, the police press charges, not the victim. I'm kind of glad, because I was terrified and might not have done it on my own. Anyway, they charged him with attempted rape as well as a couple of other things, breeching probation, physical assault, that kind of thing. He of course had a record as long as my arm, but none of that was admissible in court. I really know how to pick them."

"Whoa, Jess," Joey stopped her narration. "It's not your fault that he is a bad guy. He hid that from you. It sounds like he was quite an actor, so don't blame yourself for not knowing who he really was at the time."

"You're right. It turned out that I wasn't the only one he fooled. He was actually living with someone at the time he was seeing me. She had no idea and when the police went to search for him, she was so angry she ratted him out and even witnessed against him for my case."

"I had a case worker from the women's shelter who was with me throughout the trial. She helped me so much. It was hard to sit there and have to listen to all the lies that his lawyer spewed. And then to be questioned and cross examined, well that was the hardest thing I've ever done.

"In the end, he was sentenced for aggravated assault and he was to be incarcerated for eight to ten years. Because he was in pre-trial custody for a year, that counted as two years served. Since then, he's served four years in jail; with the two year credit, he's at six years, so he could be eligible for parole. If he gets parole, he technically won't be able to come to the States, and he'll have to stay away from me, but, I mean how secure is that? How do I know I won't be walking down the street and he'll just pop up there in front of me? Guys walk through restraining orders everyday "

Joey shrugged, "I don't know, Jess. But you have all of us now. He'd have to get through me and the guys before he could get close to you and even if he did that, he'd still have to face Bryan."

Jess shook her head. "Joe, there is no way I'm going everywhere with you five all the time. I'd rather face him than go through your screaming crowds day in and day out. Besides, I'm not planning on keeping Bryan with me when I'm at home. I only agreed to having security right now because you guys pushed for it and well, Johnny demanded it too. Once I'm out of the spotlight though, I'm going back to real life."

"This is your real life now, Babe. And if you think you're going to get by with no security, you've got another think coming. You won't have to have Bryan with you all the time, but there are going to be times when it is necessary, and I don't want to hear you complain about it. Our goal is to keep you safe because we love you and we don't want anything to happen to you. So you're going to have security when it's deemed necessary and you're going to like it, understand?"

She rolled her eyes, knowing that it was easier at this point to agree with Joey rather than try to argue with him. "Fine, Joe," she huffed.

"Good. Now that that is settled, you need to get some sleep, Angel."

"I uh, I don't know, Joe..." she hesitated.

"Nothing to worry about," he assured her. "You're sleeping here with me, so no nightmares."

"I guess it could work," she still wasn't entirely convinced.

"Of course it could. Especially once you start to imagine that Super Joey is going to fly into your dream and beat the shit out of that asshole," he grinned.

Jess laughed and snuggled a little closer to Joey before closing her eyes, "OK. Thanks, Joey."

"Anytime, Angel," Joey whispered. He kissed her forehead and allowed himself to doze as well.

Joey was awakened a couple hours later when he heard some of the others start to get up and move around.

Chris popped a sleepy bed-head into the living room. "Hey Joe. Why are you sleeping with my girl?"

"'Cause I was lonely and she was here," Joey smiled insolently. "No, really, neither of us could sleep, so we came back here to talk."

"Is she OK?" Chris frowned in concern.

"Yeah, she'll be fine, Chris. She's going through a rough patch, but she's going to make it."

"I pray to God you're right, Joey. I'm starting to get scared. She's pulling away from me, and I think she's distancing herself from JC too." Chris gently stroked her hair.

"I know," Joey sighed. He shifted in his seat a little. "Hey, Chris, would you care to change places with me? I really need to go."

Chris smiled. "An opportunity to hold my girl? You don't even have to ask! Of course I'll do it."

It took some careful manoeuvring but they were able to get themselves and Jess sorted out.

Joey made a quick dash for the bathroom and then headed up to the front of the bus to grab some breakfast.

Joey sleepily staggered down the hall and flopped down at the table.  He grunted his assent when JC offered him a coffee and nodded his thanks in JC's direction when a mug was slid across the table and into his waiting hands.

After pouring a coffee for himself, JC slid into the seat opposite Joey.  "So, did she tell you about the nightmares?"  he asked nonchalantly.

Joey just about spit his coffee across the table.  "You knew?"

JC nodded.  "Of course I knew.  Whether she likes it or not, I know Jess inside out.  She's been acting the same way she used to when she was getting nightmares.  It's been awhile since she's had them, but it's not totally unexpected, especially with all the stress she's been under."

Joey panicked, "JC, you cannot tell her you know.  She really thinks that she's hidden it from you."

"Relax, Joe.  I know my girl," JC sighed.  "She thinks she's protecting me; I won't tell her."  He looked down at his coffee cup.  "Honestly, I'm happy that she's comfortable talking to you about it.  That means she's making some progress.  I don't expect you to give me details, but encourage her to go back to her psychiatrist if you get the chance."


Chris was making the most of his time holding Jess.  He just couldn't get enough of her.  He gently stroked her hair.  Breathing deeply, he caught a whiff of her shampoo.  He couldn't quite place the scent, but it was a flowery type of smell that he always associated with her.  He'd have to ask her later what it actually was.

Jess started squirming in his arms.  He tried to calm her, but before he could whisper the soothing words he wanted to, she was awake.  She stared at him like she didn't know him, then she blinked a couple times and seemed to get her bearings.

"Chris?"  She pulled away from him and rubbed her hands across her face.  "What happened to Joey?"

He tried not to show his disappointment in her brushing him off and asking about another guy.  "Uh, he had to, uh pee, so I took over for him.  You OK?"

"Yeah, great.  Where's Joey now?"  She looked around the room.

"I think he's in the kitchen," Chris shrugged.

"OK, thanks."  She got up quickly and stopped short in the doorway when she saw Joey sitting with JC.

"Good morning, Jess!" Justin called to her as he joined the others.
 
"Yeah, right, morning," she replied as she accepted the quick one armed hug he gave her.

"Where are we heading today?" she asked no one in particular.

JC answered her.  "We'll be at the hotel in about..." he looked at his watch, "twenty minutes.  We pretty much have enough time to drop our stuff and get in the vans to go to the photo shoot."

"Oh, well, have fun, guys.  I guess I'll catch up with you later," she shrugged.

"You wish, Jess," Justin laughed.  "You're in this photo shoot with us."

She frowned.   "How is that possible?"

JC shrugged.  "I dunno.  Johnny said people were looking for you to model, didn't he?"

"Yeah, whatever," she smirked.  "I figured that was just an excuse to keep me on tour with you guys."

It was Joey's turn to chuckle. "Yeah, right, Jess.  Do you think Johnny would really go through all that paperwork if he didn't have to?  You're modelling, girl.  Lance has your contract somewhere and I know you signed it."

"Why would Lance have my contract?" she was confused now.

Joey coughed.  "You did read it before you signed it, didn't you?"  Jess just rolled her eyes at him.  "How did you miss the part that Lance is managing you?"

Sarcastic Jess emerged.  "I don't know, Joe, how about the fact that last I heard from anyone, Johnny was my temporary manager.  Nothing was said at all about Lance."

"Relax, Jess," Lance joined them at the table.  "Johnny and I work together.  These guys are just giving you a hard time.  Do you have any questions about the shoot?"

"Yeah, do I have to go?"  she smiled.  "OK, I'm just kidding.  Just give me the basics.  What is it for, what do I do, that kind of stuff.  And, seriously, why would anyone want me to be a model for them?"

Lance rolled his eyes and sighed.  "Jess, didn't we just go through a lot of press and stuff about how guys like regular girls, not stick thin models?"  Apparently Sarcastic Lance was also making an appearance.  "Why do you think they hired you?  Really, girl, just because you're not a size two doesn't mean that you are not beautiful.  So stop with the attitude, OK?"

Jess looked down at her hands which were folded on the table.  "I'm sorry, Lance.  It just feels weird that people are accepting me as I am and not trying to tell me that I'm not thin enough."

Lance reached out and patted her hand.  "So, just imagine how all those other regular girls are going to feel when they see a picture of someone like them."

Jess gave him a slow smile, "OK, I get it, Lance."

"Good," Lance returned her smile and moved to sit next to her.  He  talked to her for the rest of the drive about the shoot and what she should expect when she got there.


After running up to her room for a quick change, Jess was ushered out of the hotel by Bryan.  She saw Chris get in the first van, so she held back and got in the second, hoping that he wouldn't notice.  She sat on the back bench and leaned her head against the window.  With her eyes closed, she was hoping that she could pass for being asleep and be left alone.

It worked, but only until a Nerfball hit her in the head.  "What the..?"  She sat up with a confused expression on her face.

"Aw, geez, sorry, Jess!"  Justin called.  "My fault!  I thought Joey was going to catch it."

Jess picked up the ball and aimed it at Justin's head.  Lucky for him, her aim was really bad because she threw it pretty hard.  Joey moved back a seat and sat beside her just as the van was started up.  "Hey, you OK?" he asked quietly.

She met his eyes.  "Sure.  I just got beaned in the head, I had an emotional night with very little sleep and I have to go get my picture taken for some magazine, I'm just peachy!"

Joey laughed and squeezed her shoulder.  "Hey, chin up!  You get to spend the morning with me.  How lucky is that?"

Jess smiled and leaned her head on Joey's shoulder.  "Yeah, I guess one thing is going well for me this morning."

"Of course it is.  So, wanna talk about it?"

"What makes you think I want to talk about anything?" she asked defensively.

"Wellll," he drew the word out for dramatic effect, "you totally blew off your boyfriend this morning.  What's up with that?"

Jess sat up and removed Joey's arm from her shoulder.  "I don't know what you're talking about.  I don't have a boyfriend."

"You could have fooled me," Joey teased.  "Remember I'm the one who caught you two smooching in the hallway after your date."

"One date, Joe.  That's all it was."  She turned away to look out the window so she could avoid his gaze.

"You keep saying that it was one date.  Who are you trying to convince-me or you?"  He tried to get in her face, but she just turned further away from him.

"What difference does it make, Joe?"

"Wait a minute.  What happened between last night and now that is making you so defensive?"

"I'm not defensive!" she turned to face him without even realizing it.

"Uh, yeah, y'are," he tried not to laugh.   

She frowned  "Joey, just shut the fuck up!"

Joey was a little taken aback.  It was unusual for Jess to snap like this.  He gave her a couple minutes to herself before he broached the subject again.  "So, are you going to tell me what happened?"  Jess sat there, stoically looking straight ahead.  "Jess, did you have a nightmare again?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said through clenched teeth.

"OK, so you had a nightmare," he replied.  "Now, what happened, same as always?"

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

He shook his head.  "Nope.  Sorry, but when a friend is hurting, I butt in.  So, what happened in the dream?"

She gave up.  "It started the same, but my friend Joey showed up to cheer me on and to coach me in fighting back.  Together, we kicked his ass," a smile creeped across her lips at the thought.

"So what's the problem?" Joey was genuinely confused, especially when he noticed she started to blush.

"Uh...well, after that, you told me how proud you were of me, then you disappeared and Chris appeared."

"O...K?" he was now even more confused.  "Then Chris helped you beat him up some more?"

"No," she whispered.  "Then I started to make out with him."

"And that's a bad thing?"  Joey asked.

"Yeah!" she answered, implying that he was stupid for not understanding that.  "I wanted him.  I wanted him to want me, and he wasn't moving fast enough, so I started to lead him to the bedroom and-Joey, I'm not like that.  I mean I've never done that and I guess I came to my senses and woke myself up."

"Well, now blowing Chris off this morning makes some sense.  Were you embarrassed?  Honey," Joey squeezed her hand, "you know it's OK to be attracted to Chris, don't you?"

"What?  Yeah, I mean, no.  I don't know what I mean!  In the dream, it was all so right, but then I woke up and reality smacked me in the face again."  Before she could complete the thought, the van pulled up behind the other van in front of the studio they were shooting at.

Jess was relieved.  She was more than happy when she was pulled into wardrobe away from the guys.  She really needed a break from all the testosterone for awhile.
 

Jess was pleasantly surprised to be the first one ready for the group photos.  She found a couch and relaxed while she waited for the guys.  She was glad when Justin appeared first.  

"Hey," she smiled as she patted the couch, "cm'ere."

Justin obliged and sat beside her.  "Hey, yourself, mama," he threw her a sassy grin while watching out of the corner of his eye to how she was reacting to his flirting.

Jess giggled and patted his arm.  "Oh, Justin, what would I do without you to boost my ego?"  She didn't give him a chance to answer.  "Are you free any time today?"

"I've always got time for a beautiful woman like yourself," he chuckled, clearly enjoying messing with her.  

Jess weighed her options and decided that two could play at that game.  She leaned towards him, placing one hand on his chest, and looking up into his eyes.  "Oh, Justin," she cooed, "do you mean it?"

He pulled back abruptly and sputtered.  "No!  I mean, yes!  I mean--damnit woman!" Jess fell into him, she was laughing so hard.  When he realized he had been set up, Justin couldn't help but join in the laughter.

Jess regained self control and sat up slowly, wiping away a tear.  "I'm sorry, Justin, but you so asked for that!"

"Hmph," he pouted, making sure to cross his arms over his chest and turn his head away from her.  "I don't think you're really sorry."

She shrugged, "Meh, you're probably right, but I'm still wondering if you have any time free today."

He looked at her.  "For you?"  She nodded.  "Yeah, sure, you know I always have time for you.  Did you want to do anything in particular?"

She shook her head, "Nope, just talk."

"Oh.  OK."  He was quiet for a moment.  "Is it about yesterday?"

"Yeah."  She wouldn't meet his eyes.

Justin nodded slowly.  "OK.  We'll talk later.  How about after the show?  We can hammer out details later."

"OK.  Thanks."

Justin gave her a squeeze.  "Don't thank me, Jess.  Friends make time for each other.  You know that."

The rest of the guys came trickling out of wardrobe and before she was completely ready, Jess found herself in the middle of a photo shoot.

First they did some group shots, with everyone dressed in jeans and tee shirts.  All six were very laid back and they just got to be themselves.  Jess felt a bit like she was playing Twister while she was following the photographer's jumbled directions.  

"OK, now put your right hand on Justin's left shoulder.  Lean your head on Joey's shoulder and look towards Lance.  Your right foot should go in front of  Chris's and your left hand holds JC's and make it all look natural."  As if!   Who did they think she was?  Gumby?

Jess took a deep breath, shook off  her frustration and tried to go with the flow.  She made it through group photos and moved on to the paired photos, first with Justin.  She was supposed to be "one of the guys", a look very easy for her to pull off since it was her true nature.  They were dressed as if at a football game, cheering for their hometown team.  They had fun making up silly cheers and their own version of the touchdown dance.  But Jess drew the line when he wanted to chest bump with her.

Next it was JC's turn.  He was dolled up in a suit and she wore a little black dress that she never would have chosen, but actually looked good in.  They were posed as if they were on a date in fancy restaurant.  First they were stealing glances at each other from behind their menus, then the photographer had JC ask Jess to dance.  The two tried not to crack each other up as they posed and all in all, Jess was relieved to be finished and able to dress down again.  

When they were finished, Jess and JC joined the rest of the guys for a quick lunch.  Jess was rushed off before she even finished her sandwich, so she took it with her to sit in the makeup chair.  Had she been paying more attention to how Joey was dressed, she might not have been as surprised as she was when she was handed a very small outfit to put on.  

"Uh, what's this?" she asked in bewilderment, holding the hanger, which had a couple of small scraps of fabric, away from her body..

"What do you mean?" asked the stylist, "It's your clubbing outfit."

Jess's mouth fell open.  She blinked once.  She blinked again.  "Laaaaance!" she hollered.

Lance came running when he heard her yell.  "What's the matter?" he asked.  

Jess still hadn't found her voice.  She just nodded towards the outfit that was still dangling from the hanger.

"What's that?" he was just as perplexed.  

The stylist shrugged.  "Her outfit. She and Joey are doing a club scene.  We're going for total slut here."

Jess's mouth opened and closed a couple times in quick succession.  The words were there, but somehow, she just couldn't get them out.  Lance noticed her distress and moved between Jess and the stylist, lest she explode.

"Would you excuse us?" he asked quickly and didn't wait for an answer.  He propelled Jess by her elbow away from her dressing area.  Lance found a couch and sat her down on it.

"I am not wearing that, Lance," she said quietly, when her voice finally surfaced again.

"No, you're not," he agreed, his teeth clenched together as he too tried to keep his anger in check. 

"Let me go talk with a few people and I'll be back."

Lance was getting out of the seat, when Chris came barrelling into the area.  

"There's my girl," he said with a smile which suddenly turned into a frown.  "What's that?  You're not going to wear that, are you?"

Lance shook his head, reached over and took the hanger from Jess.  "Chris, I'm dealing with it.  Sit here and keep your girl company."

Chris sat beside Jess and casually stretched his arm along the back of the couch.  "What on earth were they thinking when they chose that?" he asked.

 "I'm not sure," she answered, "but they have another think coming if they think I'm going to wear it."

"Don't worry, Lance will set them straight," he smiled.  "How has your day been going?"

"OK, I guess.  I could use one of these makeup artists to come with me every day-talk about magicians.  I didn't even feel tired anymore by the time they got the circles under my eyes covered up."

He laughed.  "Yeah, I hate to admit how much of a difference it makes for me too.  Oh well.  How are you doing though?"

"I'm fine, Chris."

"Really?  I mean I know you told us some really serious stuff last night and I, well, I'm worried about you."

She sighed.  "Chris, there's nothing to worry about.  I'm the same girl I was before I told you everything, it's just that now you know."

He reached out to touch her arm.  "I know.  It's just now I'm noticing things and wondering if you're..."

"If I'm what, Chris?  If I'm screwed up?  I've always been screwed up.  If I'm scared?  Sometimes, yes.  If I'm ever going to be OK?  Well, that one I can't really give you a definite answer on.  Maybe one day, but I'm not counting on it."

He sat back, disappointment evident in his features.  "Why are you always so negative about yourself?  Why do you put yourself down?"

She smirked half-heartedly.  "Because if I say it, nobody can say anything worse about me than I've said myself.  And because if I expect the worst, I'll never be disappointed."

"You know, I think that's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard!"

"What?" she was startled into looking directly at him.

He was about to answer when Lance came into the room.  "OK.  It's settled," he smiled.  "No slutty outfit for you, Jess.  They've decided to go with a tastefully short skirt and a sexy blouse-sexy, not slutty.  OK?"  He reached a hand out to her.

Jess accepted Lance's assistance to get up.  "You walking me back?"

Lance nodded, "Yeah.  I want to make sure you're OK with the new outfit."

"OK," she agreed as they walked back to her dressing room.

Chris sat on the couch, stewing.  He didn't even notice JC's presence until he sat down beside him.  

"Hey, Chris, what's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, ah, nothing.  Nothing's wrong." He nodded, trying to convince himself.

"Hmm," JC responded.  "It sure doesn't look like nothing's wrong.  And I'm willing to bet it has something to do with my stubborn best friend and the fact that she has been distancing herself from both of us."

Chris smirked, "Think that would be a pretty safe bet, do you?"

"Yeah," JC nodded.  "You know me.  I don't just throw my money away.  If you want to talk about it..."

"I'd love to.  I just don't know where to start."  Chris paused and JC didn't fill in the silence.  He knew Chris would continue when he was ready.  "C, I don't know what to do.  She's so negative about herself and the future, and she's...I don't know, it's like she's trying to push me away."  Chris shook his head in defeat.

"She is," JC agreed.  "It's her defence mechanism.  Why do you think she hasn't had a boyfriend since then?  She pushes guys away because she's afraid of being hurt."

"I get that, but what I don't get is that it feels like some sort of test.  It's like she's pushing to see what I'm going to do and how I'm going to react."

JC laughed.  "You have her figured out man.  That's exactly what she's doing.  You know what to do, right?"

"Besides turning her over my knee and telling her to stop acting like a spoiled brat?"  Chris thought for a couple of minutes.  "I have an idea or two, but whether they'll work or not is another story."

JC patted his friend on the shoulder as he got up.  "Do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Don't give up on her."

Chris shook his head, "That'll never happen."

JC nodded his thanks and left Chris to his pondering.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking so hard about, but you’ve got to stop,” the makeup artist said as he touched up Jess’s face, “You’re making a crease in the make-up with all this frowning.”

“Oh, sorry,” Jess shrugged and tried to relax her face, “I didn’t realize I was doing that.”

“No worries,” he smiled, “We’re almost done here, and then you can get your last set of pictures done and get some rest.”

“Don’t I have two more sets to do after this one?”

“Yep, but they’ve been rescheduled for tomorrow,” he replied as dusted her face with some kind of powder.

“Oh, OK.” She wondered when they would possibly be able to fit photo shoot into the next day’s schedule.

Lance popped his head into the room.  “How’s it going, Jess?”

“Fine, Lance.”  She hoped she sounded confident enough to set Lance at ease.

“Great!” he disappeared from the doorway.  Yep, apparently she sounded confident enough.  Now if only she could fool herself into feeling confident.

A few minutes later, Jess made her way out to the set, trying not to teeter on stiletto heels.  She pulled self consciously at her skirt, as if by tugging she could make it longer.  Out of all the outfits, this one made her feel the most anxious by far.

Jess spun on her heel and nearly lost her balance when she heard a whistle from behind her.  She quickly regained her equilibrium and saw Joey and Justin staring at her.

“Whoa!  Girl, where have you been hiding those?”  Joey asked, nodding his head in the direction of her chest.

Jess rolled her eyes.  “Oh, grow up, Joey.  And Justin, stop staring!  Haven’t you ever seen boobs before?”

“Sure we have,” Joey replied, “Just not on you!”

“I can’t help it,” Justin stated as he continued to stare.  “I never knew you had so many curves under all those baggy clothes.”

“Oh please,” she groaned as she shoved his face away from her so that she didn’t have to see him stare.  “Let’s just get this over with.”

Jess felt Joey’s eyes on her while the photographer was setting the lighting up near a bar set.  “Will you stop it?”  She smacked his chest.

“What?” Joey asked defensively, trying to protect himself from her further assault.

“Stop staring at me!  I’ll call Kelly I have to,” Jess looked to make an escape.

“No, don’t do that,” Joey held her arm.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just not used to seeing you like, well, like this!”

“It’s this stupid push up bra they made me wear,” Jess shifted her shoulders around, trying to get comfortable. “It feels like they’re cinched up under my chin.  Good grief, if I was to get a good run going, I’d give myself two black eyes!”

Joey laughed.  “I don’t think so, Sweetie.” He gave her a quick hug, trying to keep her from getting more self conscious.  “You look really good though,” he grinned.

She looked down at her outfit, “You really think so?”

“No, I just go around lying to all my girl friends for fun,” he rolled his eyes. 

Jess giggled.  “OK point taken, but I feel like a freaking Barbie doll.”

“Nah, you look better than Barbie,” Joey laughed.  “She’s plastic and fake and you are so not like that.”

            In no time at all, Jess and Joey were posing in the club set.  First, they shot Joey checking Jess out, and then they were posed as if they were flirting by the bar.  Joey had her laughing by feeding her really bad pick-up lines the whole time. 

            Chris and JC came back into the room in time to hear Joey being instructed to “sex it up” by lifting Jess's thigh up against him.

Jess laughed loudly.  “Ack!  Joey, that tickles!” 

            The two guys rounded to corner and gaped in unison.  Who was this vixen and what had she done with Jess?

            Chris swallowed hard.  “Whoa,” he rasped.

            Justin turned around with a big grin.  “I know, right! She’s babe-alicious!  If she were a president she would be Baberaham Lincoln!”

            JC elbowed Justin.  “Now is not the time for your ‘Wayne’s World’ impressions, you dork!”

            Justin blinked, “Why not?  Jess is totally hot!”

            JC clenched his teeth.  “Shut up, Justin!”

            Chris glanced over at Lance.  “Does he really need to be so close to her?  Couldn’t they like tone it down a bit?”

            Lance put a hand on Chris’s shoulder and led him out of the room, “Come on, Bud.  I don’t think you really need to see this.”

            “It’s not that I think anything is going to happen, Lance, I just don’t like seeing any guy that close to her.”

            “I know,” Lance nodded, “especially when it’s not you.”

            “You got that right!” he agreed.  “Especially when it’s not---hey, wait a minute!  That’s not what I was going to say!”

            “Sure Chris,” Lance nodded as if he believed Chris.  “I should warn you that the clothing company wants her to keep everything she’s modelled so she can wear it out in public and be seen.  And I’m pretty sure Joey and Justin are going to try to convince her to wear that outfit the next time we hit a club.”

            “Great,” Chris muttered as Lance led him away, “now I’m going to spend all my time watching other guys hit on her.”

By the time they were finished, Jess was bone tired.  She kicked of her heels and sighed with relief as she trudged barefoot back to her dressing room.

            Fifteen minutes later, Jess met Joey in the hallway and they went out to the vans together.  Jess felt so much better to be back in her own comfy clothes and sneakers.  She didn’t realize how slowly she was moving until Joey stepped on her heel as they neared the van. 

            “Come on, princess,” he laughed, “your chariot awaits.”  He hoisted her up into an empty seat and then climbed in behind her, pulling the door closed after him.

            Jess buckled up, then looked to her left and saw that the seat that Joey had put her into was next Chris.  Of course it was.  She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would allow her to avoid Chris for now.  She wasn’t in the mood to deal with him.

            Chris didn’t make first eye contact.  He thought he’d better let Jess get settled and then casually meet her gaze and start a conversation.  If he was lucky, maybe she would have forgotten the whole little “episode” from this afternoon.

When he figured that he had waited long enough (after all, timing was everything), he turned to Jess—and saw that she had fallen fast asleep.  Yes, this girl was definitely a woman after JC’s heart.  It was really no wonder that they were friends.  Chris sighed, slid his arm around her shoulder and adjusted so that her head fell comfortably against him.  At least if she was sleeping, she couldn’t fight with him and he now had some time to figure out just how to fix things between them.

            When they arrived at the venue, there was no time to talk.  Everyone was rushed into the building, told to grab something to eat and to have a quick meeting with their scheduler while they ate.

            Jess lagged behind.  Schedule changes meant little to her; it wasn’t like she had to go everywhere with them.  She raided the snack food for some caffeine and sugar to keep her energized through the meet and greet.  If she could just make it through that, she could coast through the rest of the evening.

            When JC saw her sit down with a Coke and some chocolate, he got up from his table, filled a tray and sat down across from Jess.  Before she could say anything, JC had whisked away her junk food and shoved his tray in front of her.

            She tried to protest, but JC didn’t give her the chance, “Oh no you don’t!  If you eat that crap, you’re going to have a sugar crash in the middle of the meet and greet,” he admonished. 

            Jess rolled her eyes, but truth be told, she didn’t exactly hate it when Josh babied her.  “Fine, Joshua, whatever you say,” she smiled as she looked down at the carton of milk, a turkey and cheese sandwich and some fruit.  She didn’t know how she was supposed to eat all of this in the few minutes left before the meet and greet, but she knew she’d only waste more time in arguing with him than actually eating it.

            The meet and greet went the way that the last few had gone.  Jess was getting the hang of it, and had fun talking with the guys’ fans.  She was glad that she was able to be a role model of sorts for girls who had felt marginalized by the fact that they were not stick thin.  Jess just wished that it didn’t take so much energy to be upbeat.

            After the event, Jess gathered up her stuff and set out in search of Bryan.  It had been a long day, and she was more than ready to head back to the hotel and unwind.  She was just about clear of the room when Chris touched her shoulder.

            “Jess?  Do you have a minute?” his eyes pleaded with her, but she was good at ignoring things she didn’t want to see.

            “Why?  Is there something else about me you think is bullshit?”

            “Please, Jess?  I think we need to talk,” he tried to get her to look at him.
            “That’s nice,” she replied with a shrug, “but I don’t.  There’s Bryan, I have to go.”

            “I’ll come see you after the show then,” he called after her. 

            She shook her head, “No you won’t.  I have plans tonight.”  She stepped out into the hallway, away from his reach.  This was going to be harder than he’d thought.

            Jess enjoyed some quiet time while the five men sweat it up on stage.  She had a leisurely soak in the tub while reading a book she hadn’t had a chance to start yet.  She ordered up some dinner and she caught up on some writing and email before she finally heard what could only be described as a herd of  *NSYNCers coming down the corridor.  

            She was not surprised when JC burst through the door followed closely by Justin.  “Hi guys!”

            “Hey Jess,” JC flopped down, laid his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes.  “G’night, Jess.”

            “I don’t think so, Mr Sweaty.  You stink.  Hit the showers!” She jostled him off of her and gave him a push in the direction of his room.

            Justin waited until JC staggered towards his door.  “Hey, I’m just going to get cleaned up and then I’ll be back, is that OK?”

            “Of course it is.  Take your time; I’ve got a good book.”

            He nodded and shuffled off.

            Jess settled back in the cushions to read her book.  Just as she found her place, someone knocked on the door.  She contemplated for a brief minute about not answering the door, it was probably Chris and she wasn’t about to change her plans with Justin to have a fight with him.  But then she thought that it might help her to let off some steam if it was Chris, because she’d get the satisfaction of slamming the door in his face or at least telling him to get lost.

            By the time she had decided to answer the door, the knocking was growing louder and steadier.  She whipped the door open and was surprised to see Joey standing there apparently doing some little dance in the hallway while knocking on the door.

            She cleared her throat to get his attention, “Joe?  Did you want something?”

            As Joey turned around, she noticed he was dressed head to toe in black.  He was even wearing a black toque, and this was the middle of June.  What was that boy thinking?

            Joey leaned in and gave her a buss on the cheek.  “Hey, Beautiful, you ready to prank Justin’s shoes?”

            “What are you talking about?” she really couldn’t believe this guy some days.

            “Come on, don’t tell me you forgot.  When you tripped over Justin’s shoes this morning, I told you we’d prank him later, so let’s go!”

            “I’m sorry, Joey, I did forget.  I’m actually waiting for Justin to come over here.”

            Joey grinned.  “That’s perfect!  You keep him busy while I go take care of his shoes.”

            “Sure, Joey, I’ll do that.  You be careful, OK?”
            “I will.  Now don’t let on anything to Justin.”

            Jess tried not to giggle, “No fear of that, my friend.”  She shook her head as Joey zigzagged down the hallway humming the tune to Spiderman.  Tomorrow would be soon enough to find out what he was up to.

            "Whoa, what happened to the tired guy who went into your room five minutes ago?"

            JC giggled.  "He got a call to go out with some friends, so he took them up on it."

            "Really."  She nodded slowly, "Huh.  You're not usually very concerned about what I think of your appearance," her eyes grew wide, "You're meeting a girl, aren't you?"

            JC fiddled with his shirt collar.  "Actually, I prefer the term ‘woman'," he ducked his head down. "Don't wait up!" he called as he quickly dodged past her.

            She had nearly caught him when he opened the door.  "Joshua!  You get back here, I need details!" 

            "Sorry, gotta go!" He called over his shoulder as he bolted out.

            JC and Justin almost collided in the hallway.  "What's up with him?" Justin asked as he came in.

            "Date," Jess shrugged.  "It's about time too."

            Justin appeared to be digesting that information.  "Huh," he nodded as he looked around the room.  "So, what did you want to talk about?"

            "Nice to see you too, Justin.  I'm fine, thanks for asking."  She rolled her eyes, knowing that he had no idea why she was being sarcastic with him.  Jess grabbed his hand and led him out to the balcony.  "Come on, let's sit out here and pretend we can see the stars tonight."

            Once they were both settled in the deck chairs, Justin looked Jess in the eyes.  "So...?"

            "So," she smiled as she kicked her feet up on the patio table and took a deep breath. "Look, I just want to make sure you're OK.  You were really upset last night and you got me worried."

            "Wait a minute," Justin laughed nervously, "shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

            "Justin," she met his eyes.  "Don't bother trying the whole answering a question with a question thing-I am the master at changing the topic.  Give it up.  I know you were upset.  Talk to me."

            "I already talked with Joey," he replied with a shrug, avoiding eye contact.   "I'm fine."

            "Justin," she warned him with her tone, "Talk.  To.  Me."        

            He blew out a frustrated breath.  "Fine.  I was upset.  Hearing that you were nearly date raped really hit me hard.  It made me so angry that some guy would try to take advantage of someone I love.  I started to wonder what kind of man could do that to a woman, and then I started to wonder about me and whether I would know if I was pressuring a girl or not."

            She reached out and patted his arm, "Oh, honey.  What he did to me wasn't pressuring me.  He was trying to dominate me, show that he had power.  That's why he resorted to beating me up when I wouldn't do what he wanted."

            "But how do I know the difference?" he asked.  "Where's the line between him and me?"

            "The fact that you are asking the question shows that you are not him.  He didn't care how he treated me.  You are not him, Justin, but if you're ever unsure, stop and ask. Slowing things down and making sure you're on the same page is probably the best way to go."

            Justin smiled. "You know, that's pretty much what Joey said."  Then he laughed, " Except Joey also gave me guy tips too, you know, like how to tell if a girl is faking it-not that she'd ever have to fake it with me, but you know, it's always good to know."

            Jess reached across the table and pushed his shoulder.  "Justin, my friend, that is what is known as too much information," she chuckled.   "So, you're really OK?"

            He nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine now.  But thanks for caring enough to beat-I mean ask me about it."  He laughed.

            "You're such a brat," she reached over to hug him, "But you know I love you."

            "I do," he sat up straight and smugly smiled.  "And because I love you too, I have a question to ask you now."

            "Sure, fire when ready," she laughed.

            "Have you read Chris's note yet?" he ducked, not sure of what her reaction would be.     

            Her first thought was to ask how Justin knew about the note and her evasion tactics, but she knew how close Chris and Justin were and realized she already knew how Justin knew.  Instead, Jess blew out a breath that lifted her hair off her forehead and replied quietly, "No."

            "Come here, girl," Justin pulled her into his lap.  "So, you haven't read it."  Jess shook her head.  "Then I have another question for you; why the hell not?"

            She laid her head on Justin's shoulder.  "Because I'm scared.  Because I don't know where things with Chris are going or where I want them to go and I don't know what Chris wants from me or if he wants anything from me and...I'm just scared!"

            Justin shook his head.  "Babe, you don't have to be scared.  You know Chris well enough to know that he wouldn't lie to you."

            "Sure, J, but just because Chris thinks the letter has good stuff in it, that doesn't mean that I'll agree."

            "True, but if you don't read it, you'll never know and it's going to eat away at you and drive you crazy--just read it!"

            "OK, fine.  I'll read it.  Are you happy now?"

            Justin shrugged.  "Meh, I suppose so.  Do you want me to stay here for moral support?"

            "What?  You want me to read it now?"  Jess stalled.

            He rolled his eyes, "Well, duh!  You need to stop procrastinating and just read it."

Jess thought about it for a minute.  "Do you think I need moral support?"

            "Probably not, but you do need someone to make sure you don't chicken out again."

"Fine, Justin, you can stay.  Come inside and watch television."  Jess left Justin to his own devices and went into her room.  She stood just inside the doorway, willing herself to pull out the letter.  She cracked her knuckles, took a deep breath and sat down on her bed.  She reached under her pillow and slowly slid the envelope out.

Jess held the envelope in her hands.  She didn't want to do this, but there was no way to put it off any longer.  Besides, Justin would totally know if she lied about it.

  After taking another deep breath, she slowly slid one finger beneath the flap and lifted it up.  One more deep breath was required before she could make herself pull the paper out.  And still another breath before the letter was open, facing her.  All she had to do now was to focus and read.

Jessamyn,

Sweetheart, you know me well enough to know that when it comes to expressing myself, I do it best with music.  If you haven't already done so, give Pat's paw a squeeze. 

Jess looked up from the letter and over to her bear.  She reached out to squeeze his paw and was surprised when what she heard wasn't a Build-A-Bear sound.  It was something completely different.  She listened to the acoustic guitar and piano start, and gasped when she heard Chris start singing.  She looked back down and followed the words in his letter.

I don't know how

I don't know why

But girl it seems

You've touched my life

You're in my dreams

You're in my heart

I'm not myself

When we're apart

Something strange has come over me

A raging wind across my seas

And girl you know that your eyes are to blame

And what am I supposed to do

If I can't get over you

I come to find that you don't feel the same

Cause I'm fallin' fallin'

Girl I'm fallin' for you

And I pray your fallin' too

I've been fallin' fallin'

Ever since the moment I laid eyes on you

I lose my step

I lose my ground

I lose my self

When you're around

I'm holding on for my life

To keep from drowning in your eyes

Girl what have you done to me

To make me fall so desperately

To think that I don't even know your name

No, no

How am I supposed to live

If I can't get over this

You decide you don't feel the same

Cause I'm fallin' fallin'

Girl I'm fallin' for you

And I pray your fallin' too

I've been fallin' fallin'

Will you stay or will you go

Heaven knows what my future holds

Questions linger on my mind

From daybreak to dark of night

I'm fallin' I don't know what's come over me

Can't you see that I'm fallin' fallin'

Girl I'm fallin' for you

And I pray your fallin' too

I've been fallin' fallin'

Ever since the moment I laid eyes on you

The music stopped playing and Jess wiped a couple of tears from her eyes.  She realized that Chris must have prepared the song for her long before her date.  She was a little overwhelmed by the feelings that his planning implied. 

Jess continued to read the letter:

I hope you know when I sing this, I'm thinking of you each and every time.  I know we've only had one official date (or six crammed together if you count them my way), but with you everything feels so right.  You've become such an important part of my life and I trust one day, hopefully soon, you'll be ready for me to let you know exactly how I feel.

Always yours,

 Christopher

Jess didn't know what to think.  She sat there gazing at her ceiling for quite awhile before she heard a quiet tap at her door.

            "Jess?"  Justin whispered.  "Are you OK, honey?"

            She debated playing ‘possum, but knew that Justin wouldn't fall for it.  "Come in, J," she called.  When the door opened, she gestured to the open letter lying on the bed.  "Now you can tell him I've read it."

            Justin sighed and leaned against the door frame.  "It's not like that Jess, Chris didn't ask me to check up on you--"

"He didn't?"  She glared at him archly, daring him to try to lie to her.

"Well, not in so many words, no.  He might have asked me how to get you to read it or something like that, but he didn't ask me to ask you to read it."

Jess pulled her lips together in an attempt not to frown at him. "Hm."

Justin took a couple of steps closer to the bed as he ran his hand through his hair.  

"Do you want to talk about it?"  He asked as he perched himself on the edge of the bed closest to her.

            She shook her head, "Nope, not really."      

            "Are you sure, Jess?  I mean, even if you want to tell me off for bugging you to read it, feel free to lay into me, OK?"

            Jess finally met his gaze and gave him a small, reluctant smile.  "I'm sure, J, but thanks for offering."

            "OK, well then would you like to watch a movie or something?"

            "I'd love to hang out, Justin, but I have to do this whole photo thing again tomorrow and I'm really tired.  Maybe another time?"

            "Sure," he nodded as he stood up.  "I'll hold you to it."

            Jess laughed.  "I wouldn't have it any other way, Justin."

            He leaned over and kissed her cheek.  "Me neither," he smiled before he ruffled her hair and left the room.