"JC!" Rachel Bass shouted in horror as she watched him collapse to the ground. She rushed to his side, dropping to her knees next to him. She stared down at the blood soaking through his shirt. A sob escaped as she pressed both her hands over the wound on his chest. 'His heart. So close to his heart,' her mind screamed. Tears dropped from her eyes.

 

"No!" Addison screeched seeing JC lying on the ground. The gun was still raised and her eyes narrowed at the blonde leaning over JC. "You bitch! You see what you did!"

 

"Me!" Rachel shrieked, turning her head to stare at Addison. "You shot him!" She looked back down at JC, his face was deathly pale. "Come on JC, stay with me. Stay with me," she pleaded.

 

"Ra...chel..."

 

"No no," she placed a finger on JC's lips. "Don't try to talk. Save your strength. God," she cried. "Why you'd push me out of the way? Why did you push me out of the way? What were you thinking?" She looked up as Jimmy fell on JC's other side. He had a handful of kitchen towels.

 

"Had...to...save..." JC gasped out. He tried to lift his hand, but his arm felt too heavy. "Couldn't let...hurt...you..."

 

As Jimmy pressed the towels to JC's wound, Rachel gripped JC's hand in hers. She held the back of his hand to her cheek, closing her eyes when she felt the soft caress of his finger. Sirens wailed in the distance. 'Hurry.' She pleaded. "Help's almost here C. Just hang on. You have to hang on for me."

 

"Voice...mail...wrong," JC coughed. He tasted the metallic in his mouth. He grimaced and slowly blinked. He closed his eyes feeling Rachel's hand on his forehead. "Love...you. Always...only...you."

 

"No damnit!" Addison yelled angrily hearing JC's whispered words. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. JC was supposed to love her! Rachel was supposed to leave giving her the opportunity to move in and make JC realize how good they'd be together. "This is your fault!" She aimed the gun back on Rachel. "I hope you rot in hell."

 

Rachel eyed the gun; her eyes wide in terror. She gulped and closed her eyes waiting. She flinched when she heard the shot but felt no resulting pain. Opening her eyes she saw Matt and Addison struggling for the gun. Looking back down at JC, she saw his eyes closed. He looked paler. "Stay with me JC," she cried. She pressed her hands over his wound. "Please don't leave me, JC. Stay with me, JC. I need you to stay with me."

 

Shouts soon filled the room. Rachel leaned over JC as hands grabbed at her. "No... JC..."

 

"Let the paramedics take over," Matt gripped Rachel's shoulders, lifting her away from JC. He held her against him as she cried. He stared unblinking at his friend lying deathly still on the ground. There was a lot of commotion going on as paramedics shouted orders. Police officers swarmed the living room. Addison was crying hysterically.

 

"What happened?" Rachel cried clutching Matt; her hands gripped his shirt tightly. "I came to grab a few things and... oh God," she cried louder. "I can't lose him Matt."

 

"Shhh," Matt held her tighter. He was in shock. Everything had spiraled quickly out of control. He had never expected Addison to have a gun and to shoot JC. No, not shoot JC. Addison had been ready to shoot Rachel. JC had pushed her out of the way.

 

"Where are you taking him?" Rachel asked, watching as JC was loaded onto the stretcher.

 

"Cedars-Sinai," a medic quickly replied before they rushed out of the house. Sirens soon wailed as the ambulance took off.

 

"Are you hurt?" A police officer approached Matt and Rachel.

 

"No," Matt stated. "We're not hurt. The second shot hit the wall," he nodded toward the bullet hole in the wall. "She tried to shoot Rachel."

 

"We're gonna need your statements..."

 

"I..." Rachel's voice cracked. "I need to go to the hospital." The cop blurred in front of her as more tears filled her eyes. "I need to be at the hospital."

 

"Calm down, Ma'am," the young officer reached out, placing a comforting hand on Rachel's arm. "We'll get you to the hospital."

 

~*~

 

Matt paced back and forth in the waiting room. Every so often his eyes would stray to the woman curled up in a chair in the back corner. She hadn't moved. She was in the same position - knees to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs - as she had been from the moment they arrived. Word had quickly spread about JC being shot and gossip rags and reporters arrived at the hospital. Security was currently working overtime to keep them away.

 

He was torn between being here from his friend and wanting to go to the police station and make them arrest him for his part in today's events. He may not have pulled the trigger, but he was still just as guilty as Addison. If he hadn't cheated on Renee with Addison. If he had told Renee about it instead of letting himself be blackmailed by Addison. If he had seen Addison for the crazy, unstable woman she was....His actions had brought so much pain and heartache to three of his best friends.

 

"Matt!"

 

Matt turned around sighing in relief seeing Lance rushing toward him; Michael right behind him. "Lance, thank God."

 

"What happened? How's JC? Rachel? How'd he get shot? What's going on?" Lance asked quickly, his green eyes searching Matt's face. He tried to ignore the blood on his clothes but it kept drawing his gaze.

 

Matt rubbed his hands over his face. "Rachel's fine. She wasn't harmed. Addison went...crazy."

 

"How is JC?"

 

Matt shook his head. "I don't know. They haven't told us anything. It..." his eyes slid close and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "It doesn't look good Lance."

 

Lance felt an intense, severe pain come over him at Matt's words. God...JC... He looked past Matt and spotted his sister, curled up as small as she could make her body. Sparing Matt another look he brushed by him going to his sister. "Rachel..." he spoke softly, touching her knee lightly.

 

Rachel lifted her head, staring at her twin brother. Her cheeks were tear-stained, eyes red-rimmed. She jumped up from the chair, collapsing in his arms. She held Lance tightly as she sobbed against his chest. Her cries were loud and heart wrenching.

 

Lance felt his own tears start to fall listening to his sister cry. He could feel her pain. He wished there was something he could do but he just held her tightly and allowed her to cry. As he rubbed his hands up and down her back, he whispered in her ear. Anything he thought that would ease his sister's pain. He knew it was fruitless though; nothing would take away the pain other than JC surviving.

 

"He said he loved me," she cried. "The last thing he said was he loved me. Lance..."

 

"Shhh...." Lance shushed his sister. He threaded his hand through her blonde hair, cupping the back of her head. He pressed her head harder against his chest. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt; could feel their wetness against his chest. He tried to imagine the scene that happened at JC's place in his mind though he had no details. All he knew was Addison shot JC. He tried to imagine how he'd feel if Michael was the one in surgery and he was stuck in the waiting room facing the unknown. Pain ripped through his heart and he quickly pushed the thought away.

 

She lifted her head from Lance's chest, staring into the green eyes she knew so well. They were filled with tears much like her own. "He pushed me out of the way. She was going to shoot me and he pushed me out of the way. Why did he do that?"

 

"Because he loves you," Lance answered feeling new pain wash over him. Everything changed drastically. His sister could have been the one who was shot. She could have been the one in surgery right now or worse... He swallowed roughly and pushed Rachel's head back into his chest as another wave of tears hit. "He pushed you out of the way because he loves you."

 

"If he d-dies, I'm gonna bring him back to life and kill him myself. Damnit. How dare he do this!" She clutched the t-shirt on Lance's back tightly in her firsts.

 

"He was protecting you. I'd do it for you, for Michael. You'd do it for me and if the roles were reversed you would have done the same thing for him," Lance murmured in her hair.

 

"I never...got to...tell him," her words were broken by her cries. "I never got to tell him I loved him."

 

"He knows, Rachel; he knows."

 

"Does he?" She stared at Lance. "How? I never told him. Why didn't I tell him? I had all this time to tell him and I never did and now..."

 

"Hey," Lance cupped his sister's face, holding her still so she could look at him. "You can't think like that. You have to stay positive. JC will make it out of this and you will get to tell him you love him and he'll tell you he loves you and you'll finally be together. Something that should have happened a long time ago."

 

"My God Lance, he's been a part of my life since I was seventeen," she blinked and felt more tears spill from her eyes, hitting Lance's hands. "I live with him. He's my best friend. What am I gonna do if he dies?"

 

"Don't think like that," Lance pressed Rachel's head back into his chest. "You can't think like that. I know it's hard, but you have to stay positive. You have to know that he pushed you out of the way to protect you; that he'll do everything in his power to come back to you. Don't give up on him."

 

"How did it come to this?"

*2 weeks earlier*

 

Rachel leaned back to look at the easel in front of her. She tilted her head to the left and then to the right taking in the people in the drawing. Biting her lip she raised her right hand touching her colored pencil to the paper before her. After adding another line here and shading a couple parts there, she dropped her hand again to study.

 

"Are you finished?"

 

She gave a small cry and nearly fell from the stool she was sitting on. Whirling it around, she glared at the owner of the voice. JC stood behind her wearing his ever present black jeans paired with a plain black t-shirt. A smirk graced his features knowing he had scared her. "I told you not to do that when I was working!" She scolded him, waving her colored pencil at him.

 

"I made sure you weren't in the middle of drawing," JC put his hands up in an innocent manner. Though his smirk told her he wasn't all that innocent. "Trust me; I remember what happened the last time."

 

"You ruined my picture! I spent hours fixing it!"

 

JC rolled his eyes, dropping his hands. "It was not hours. It was fifteen minutes tops. I think you're confusing how you yelled at me for hours for 'ruining' it." He air quoted the word. "Which I didn't by the way. Ruin it. It still hangs in my parents' living room. Tyler stopped questioning why his left eye slants awhile ago."

 

Rachel growled at JC even as he giggled. The glare she sent his way did nothing to deter his laughter. The drawing he'd been referring to was a present she had given JC's parents, Roy and Karen, nearly ten years ago as an anniversary present; a portrait of all three kids: JC, Heather and Tyler. While she'd been working on it, JC had sneaked up behind her. He hadn't meant to scare her; she'd just been so lost in the drawing that when he spoke, she nearly had a heart attack. Unfortunately at the time she'd been working on Tyler's eyes. The scare caused her to draw erratically, messing up the left eye.

 

"Joking." He grinned and folded his arms on the back of Rachel's stool, which also doubled as one of his bar stools. He'd long since given up putting the chair back at the bar when she wasn't using it. It was a permanent fixture in the room Rachel claimed as her studio. "Is it finished?"

 

"I think so," Rachel said, leaning back, dropping her head down on JC's shoulder. Letting her eyes close. She'd been working on the drawing - a birthday present for Lance - for most of the morning. A drawing of he and the regular people on his daily radio show. Lance sat in his chair behind the desk with the microphone in front him and the main 'peanuts' that graced the radio waves gathered around him: Lisa, his personal assistant, the writer of the show Drew, and of course Michael, Lance's fiancée. Along the bottom of the drawing - almost like graffiti on the desk - were the words 'Dirty Pop with Lance Bass'.

 

"I'm proud of you," JC said letting her rest on him as he looked at the work of art in front of him; at the insane amount of detail Rachel had put into the drawing. This was definitely one of her best works yet and that was saying something. He loved all her pieces. "You finished his birthday present a full two weeks early. That has to be some sort of record. You're usually running around at the last minute trying to find something."

 

Rachel reached around the chair poking JC in the side, causing him to dance away from the chair. Losing her headrest, she sat up. "Did you need something or did you just come to bother me?"

 

"Bother you." JC shrugged.

 

"Figured and I'm not done. I still need to get it framed," she eyeballed the drawing mentally calculating roughly how big it ended up being. It would have to be a custom frame job. The measurements weren't one of those commercially sold. That was fine with her, this way she could pick a frame that went with not only the drawing but Lance's decor well; which was pretty much nonexistent at the moment since he was still waiting for the contractor to finish with his house.

 

"Ahhh..." JC nodded a teasing grin on his lips. "So this will be like any other year. You'll be running around on the third trying to get this framed."

 

"What are you getting me?" Rachel asked, slightly changing the subject. She didn't want to acknowledge that JC would probably be right. This year she had vowed to be different considering the year before her birthday present to her twin brother had been a week late. "After all, it is my birthday as well."

 

"Well I was gonna surprise you this year..."

 

"You're giving me a raise?" Rachel asked hopefully, her eyes sparkling. If she wanted to get technical, drawing was just a hobby. She did do custom pieces when she was asked, but it mainly a hobby. Being JC's personal assistant was her actual job. It's the one that paid the bills. Not that she had a lot living with JC but it kept her stash of Hershey bars well stocked and her Kindle loaded with trashy romance novels.

 

"I don't think so; your last performance review wasn't all that great."

 

"Wasn't all that great!" Rachel scoffed. "I am the best damn personal assistant out there."

 

"You wouldn't pick up take out last night."

 

"It was midnight!" Her voice rose. "I was already in my pajamas and half asleep on the couch."

 

"You refuse to watch Star Wars with me."

 

"Big deal," she rolled her eyes. "You refuse to watch Steel Magnolias, Grease, Dirty Dancing..."

 

"You've seen them a million times!"

 

"Classics."

 

"And Star Wars isn't?"

 

"No," she slid off the stool and started putting her pencils away; thankful to be done as her fingers were starting to cramp.

 

"I oughta fire you for saying that."

 

"You would never fire me. I know all your deep dark secrets; ones you don't want blabbed to TMZ and Perez Hilton."

 

"You would never." JC eyed her.

 

"I already have a book deal in place." She shrieked when JC lunged for her and quickly moved out of the way. The box of colored pencils dropped from her hands as she ran from the room. JC gave chase.

 

He caught her in the living room tackling her down on the couch. He fell on top of her mindful of her kicking legs. A well placed kick was sure to end the fun. Using his weight to hold her down, he set about tickling her sides causing her to yell louder. She struggled harder against him in the midst of laughing.

 

"Jaaayceeee...." Rachel yelled. A tear slipped free rolling down her cheek until a shake of her head had it being wiped away by the cushion below her. She reached her arm back, trying desperately to gain some sort of upper hand. JC may be skinny, but he was hard to dispel.

 

"Ow!" It was JC's turn to yell and he stopped tickling to rub his calf. "You pulled my leg hair!" Her giggles were muffled by the couch cushions. He narrowed his eyes, staring at the back of her head. Their wrestling had caused her blonde hair to come lose from its messy bun.

 

"S-sorry JC."

 

"I don't believe you," he rubbed his calf again. "You play dirty."

 

"I've been pulling that move since I was seventeen. Your fault. You're slipping in your old age."

 

"Old age?" JC's eyes widened. His hand left his calf to walk two fingers up and down her side. He could already feel her quivering, waiting for his attack. "Need I remind you whose birthday is in two weeks?"

 

"Yeah, but even with that birthday I'm still gonna be younger than you. And your birthday is not that far away either."

 

"That's right," he mused. "What are you getting me?"

 

"Backstreet Boys tickets." She yelped when JC started tickling her again. The attack was worse than before. He showed no mercy. Her struggles were fruitless and tears rolled down her cheeks. She gulped for breath even as she pleaded with him to stop.

 

"Do you want us to come back later?"

 

JC looked over his shoulder at the voice and met the amused expression of Jimmy Harry. Jimmy was a long time friend. They had worked together years ago on music before coming up with the idea to start their own version of K-Pop in the United States. Unlike some of the K-Pop groups from Asia who had over forty members, theirs only had eleven. Behind him stood Addison Wright, a songwriter they'd been working with on a couple new songs for their group, Girl Radical. She looked less than amused.

 

"She said Star Wars wasn't a classic."

 

Jimmy laughed shaking his head watching as JC climbed off the couch and extended a hand to help Rachel to her feet. When he first became friends with JC - and subsequently Rachel - there had been a bet with a few people in their circle of when Rachel and JC would finally hook up. (Not that JC and Rachel ever knew to his knowledge.) Year after year went by and nothing ever happened. He wasn't sure what the hold up was; he was sure the feelings were there. He was starting to lose hope his two friends would ever see what was in front of them. It was obvious to everyone.

 

"I oughta quit," she huffed pulling the hair tie from her hair after most of it had fallen free. After putting the hair tie on her wrist, she ran her fingers through her hair and hoped it didn't look like a hot mess.

 

Jimmy laughed. "He wouldn't be able to function without you."

 

"Right," JC drew out rolling his eyes. Though he half feared it was true. He'd met Rachel after Lance had joined *NSYNC. While Lance had moved to Orlando to be in the band, Rachel stayed back in Mississippi with their father and older sister Stacy. Lance's mother, Diane, moved to Orlando with her son and came with them to Europe. Once they had returned from Europe to stay in the United States, Rachel moved to Orlando. She and Lance had a close relationship. Being separated had been rough of them both. She finished out her senior year of high school doing correspondence courses like Lance. She toured with them becoming sort of their keeper. She kept their schedule and made sure they got to where they needed to be. She booked flights and taxied them to the airport. She was also the one they'd send into gas stations when they wanted munchies and didn't want to be noticed. Sometimes they even used her to help them pick up girls.

 

While she did so much for them, she'd never been on any pay roll. Their management team already had people doing what Rachel did for them. It had taken one instance where Rachel had gotten sick with the flu and was banished to Orlando so she wouldn't get any of them sick for them to realize how much she did and how lost there were without her. Even though management refused to put her on the pay roll, the five of them had gotten together and paid her a generous salary from their own pockets.

 

Once *NSYNC went on hiatus, everyone went off doing their own thing. JC wanted to try his hand at solo artistry. He was hesitant to ask Rachel to go with him. After all, she had lived a hectic life just as they had the previous five years. Figuring she would want to go back home, he made it seem like she didn't have to take his offer. He acted as though he didn't want her to come on board with him, passed it off that it was cool if she didn't, but on the inside he was begging.

 

There were so many reasons JC didn't think she'd accept his offer. The first being she had lived on the road for years and he thought she might like to move back to Mississippi to be with her family. Stacy had married and started a family. Her grandparents were older. The second was Lance. If she worked for him, he wouldn't be around Lance anymore. Lance would be off doing his own thing - in other states. He wasn't sure if Rachel would be able to not be close to her brother.

 

The answer had been yes. Eventually. She made him wait while she thought about it but she had said yes. It had been one of the best decisions he made with his solo career. When he allowed himself to wallow in the disaster of those few years, it had been the best decision. Not a lot of things went right during his solo attempt, but Rachel had been right. She fought for him tooth and nail, going above and beyond her job description to get him things he didn't think he deserved. She had his back when no one else did. If everyone was against him, he knew that she would always be in his corner. Even all she was, she couldn't do anything about being fired from the record label.

 

Ten years was a long time with someone. Their relationship had changed early on. No longer did he consider her his personal assistant then friend. She was his best friend who happened to be his personal assistant. They had been through so much together; knew things about each other others didn't know. He wasn't sure what he'd do without her.

 

"I keep telling him that," Rachel grinned. Her smile faltered when Addison fell into step next to JC leaving her to walk with Jimmy as they made their way to the studio JC had set up in their house. "Do you need assisting?"

 

"Ready to punch the clock?" Jimmy asked. He saw the look Rachel gave Addison and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 'Maybe we should start the bet up again.' He thought. He'd been noticing looks between Addison and Rachel ever since the other woman graced their circle a couple weeks ago. He was certain they'd never be best friends.

 

JC snorted as he gathered the papers to the half finished song they'd worked on a couple days before. "She hasn't punched it yet this morning."

 

"I'll take that as a no." Rachel stood to the side as she watched JC, Jimmy and Addison getting things set up to start working. She clenched her jaw seeing Addison take a seat next to JC. Too close in her opinion. It was on the tip of her tongue to offer JC's lap to Addison and she quickly had to bite it back. The green monster was getting worse.

 

"Big plans?" Jimmy wanted to tell Rachel she had nothing to worry about. JC never accepted Addison's advances during their writing sessions. He was completely focused on writing the whole time. When their sessions were done and Addison tried to get him to go out, JC always declined.

 

"You should get your drawing framed."

 

Rachel made a face. "I wanna leave it sit and look at it with fresh eyes later to see if I need to do something else."

 

JC shook his head, knowingly.

 

"What?"

 

"There is nothing that needs to be done. It's perfect. Take it and get it framed. Lance'll die from shock that you actually have his present ready on time."

 

"Remind me again why I put up with you?"

 

"Cause I was your favorite?" JC looked up, his blue eyes sparkling as he winked at her.

 

"Favorite pain in the ass maybe."

 

"Brat."

 

"You love me."

 

'I do.'

 

*~*

 

"She didn't have to leave," Jimmy said after Rachel finally left them to their writing. "She could have stayed."

 

"She's heading to Lance's for Dirty Pop," JC explained moving his keyboard to the coffee table. He smiled appreciatively at Addison when she moved the papers cluttering the table. "Thanks."

 

"No problem," Addison smiled battering her eyelashes. She started to straighten the papers in her hands when she noticed what was on them. Drawings. Mostly of JC but she recognized Jimmy in one and some of the girls from Girl Radical. When she first picked them up, she thought they were scraps of papers with JC's song musings on them; bits and pieces of lyrics, song bites. She didn't know it was Rachel's mess. She gritted her teeth.

 

To get anywhere with JC she had to make nice with his personal assistant. That nearly killed her. She hadn't liked the woman from the moment she met the blonde. She wasn't sure why Rachel lived with JC. They were friends, she knew that, but to live together... she wasn't too sure. Assuming there was something more going on between them, she'd gone snooping in the house and discovered separate bedrooms. Of course it didn't mean a thing; those could have been a ruse. A display to ward off questions they didn't want to answer.

 

She coined herself very good at reading body language. JC and Rachel didn't act like lovers. They were close friends - very close - but she bet they didn't sleep together. Probably never have. Oh but they wanted to she could tell. She saw the looks Rachel sent JC. She could read what was in her eyes when she stared. Rachel wanted JC.

 

That was not going to happen. Not if Addison had anything to do with it. Some might have said it was pure luck that she had been asked to write with JC and Jimmy. Luck had nothing to do with it. She had tried and failed many times to get JC to notice her. The only way he showed any interest in her was when he found out she could write songs and write them well. A couple of her songs had just landed in the top 40. With a career starting to pay off it was time to land a man. There was no stopping her from landing the man beside her. Snagging the last remaining bachelor from *NSYNC would no doubt elevate her status within the business.

 

Mrs. JC Chasez!

 

She'd have access to elbows she never thought she'd have access to rub. Social circles would become more known, filled with people who could take her higher and farther than where she was presently. Doors would open for her. And if it just so happened that *NSYNC reunited in the midst... well... she wouldn't be complaining. With everyone's eyes on the group, she could capitalize on the press and have people coming for her songs. If she could get the group to cut one of them - even better. She smirked. She knew she'd be able to talk JC into it. No one could resist her. She'd have him wrapped around her finger, eating from the palm of her hand soon.

 

Looking down at the drawing she narrowed her eyes at the blonde sitting on a royal throne. It was obviously drawn as a joke. Rachel was sitting on a throne with her legs tossed over the arm. A king's crown sat on top of her head. In front of the throne, stood JC, dressed in a jesters outfit; complete with the pointy hat and pointy elf-like shoes.

 

"What is that?" Jimmy snatched the top drawing from Addison's pile and started laughing as he took in the picture. "Oh God! This is hilarious!"

 

"She is such a brat. I was trying to write yesterday and she was being a pain in the ass. Her whining and bellyaching would have made her nephews proud. It was sad really," JC explained a smile on his face. "She wanted to go out and do something; I wanted to work. That was her retaliation."

 

"I'm gonna have her frame this for me," Jimmy chuckled as JC took the drawing from his hands.

 

"She's drawn worse," JC shrugged shaking his head at the photo. He took the rest of the papers from Addison's hands. "She's drawn me as a marionette and she was the puppeteer working the strings. I've been the evil stepmother while she was Cinderella. She's made me short, fat and bald. A fire breathing dragon..."

 

"And she still works for you?" Addison asked in disgust.

 

JC smiled fondly as he looked down at the picture once more. This one was pretty funny. He needed to remember to tell her when he saw her later that it would have been better if she'd been dangling the crown on the tip of her finger and had him juggling. "Yup."

 

'That's it,' Addison thought seeing the look on JC's face. 'Rachel had to go.'

 

"Good afternoon my little peanuts!" Lance spoke into the microphone in front of him. "Happy Tuesday... and you know what that means? Our new music listening party! Hopefully DrewBoo picked out better songs this week."

 

"Well what can I say? You win some, you lose some," Drew shrugged. On last week's show, he had pulled six new songs that have just been released and they hadn't gone over too well with anyone. He'd even gotten tweets about the songs.

 

"Last week's were pretty bad," Lance said. "We'll get to those coming up soon. Let me introduce you to my peanuts today. We have DrewBoo."

"Hello."

 

"Giggles Delcampo."

 

"Hi," Lisa spoke into the microphone. A child laughing sound drop echoed in her ears from the New York studio.

 

"Turkey Turchin...Turkey what are you doing?"

 

"Ruining my picture!" Rachel slapped Michael's hand away as it crept toward her piece of white computer paper she had snatched from the printer before she sat down. The box of Crayola crayons (a staple on Lance's desk for some unknown reason) was opened in front of her. A few were spilled out on the desk.

 

"What are you drawing?" Lance asked with a laughed as he tried so see through the microphones and other things that sat on the desk.

 

"Dingo and Foster wearing suits for Giggles," Rachel held up the photo so her brother could see. The picture wasn't finished yet. She had only drawn Dingo wearing a black suit. Foster was next to him. He wasn't wearing a suit yet. The process was being hindered by Michael.

 

"Awwww," Lisa gushed as she stared at the picture. She loved Lance's dogs. She loved pictures of dogs in suits. "Don't ruin it Michael!"

 

Michael laughed as he tried to bring the red crayon down on Rachel's picture.

 

"You're such a jerk," Rachel sighed in frustration as Michael succeeded in making a red mark on her paper. With a glare in his direction she snatched the crayon from his grasp and set about fixing the drawing.

 

"It's gonna be one of those shows," Lance commented with a head shake. "Also joining us today is my sister, Rachel. Fresh off her vacation on the East Coast..."

 

"Ha," she said stopping her drawing to pay attention to the show. "Yeah. Vacation," she rolled her eyes. "More like a working vacation."

 

"Tell us about this working vacation," Lance said, swiveling his chair back and forth. "JC had some pretty big news."

 

"That's right," She smiled. She was still so happy that this all fell together. She was so proud of JC. "JC will be playing the role of Pontius Pilate in the North American Jesus Christ Superstar Tour."

 

"Wow," Lance still couldn't believe it. He was shocked when he read the announcement. He had no clue. Neither Rachel nor JC had given him any sort of hint that it was coming. "And he joins this crazy line up of cast members," he searched through the papers on the desk in front of him that Drew had printed out for the show.

 

"Yes," she nodded. "First there is JC playing Pontius Pilate. Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child is Mary Magdalene. Brandon Boyd from Incubus, Johnny Rotton from the Sex Pistols."

 

"There are a lot of differences between all of them," Drew said.

 

"It's...interesting," Rachel said. "To say the least."

 

"Where is he anyway? Why didn't he come?"

 

"He's holed up writing with Jimmy and another writer working on some new songs for Girl Radical."

 

"We need to get his ass back on here. He owes me an interview since he didn't tell me about this at all," he reached for his phone shooting off a text to JC.

 

"What else did you do in New York?" Lisa asked as Lance was on his phone.

 

"Well I hung out with Sam one night," she mentioned the producer of the radio show. "Where we basically ordered take out, bar hopped, trashed men, before ending up back at her place drinking wine and trash talking people we both mutually knew."

 

"We drank so much, I was still drunk the next day," Sam chimed in from New York.

 

"I was too," Rachel grimaced at the memory. "Boy was JC ma-ad," she added the extra syllable hoping to get it across how ticked JC was. "We had interviews that morning starting at seven, so we had to be up and about. I felt like ass. I definitely had to leave an interview to throw up in the bathroom."

 

"Oh my God," Lisa gaped. "I would have been mortified!"

 

"I was too drunk to be anything."

 

"How'd JC take that?" Drew asked.

 

"He didn't talk to me at all for the rest of the day. Barely even looked at me. When he did it was to glare. I was pretty sure I was gonna be fired."

 

Lance laughed at this. "Like JC would ever fire you."

 

"Oh I'm pretty sure I came close to finding my own way back to LA. Then I would have been bunking with you and Michael."

 

Lance chuckled. "Take a look around Sis. I don't think you want to be here."

 

"I see there hasn't been much change since I went to New York. What's going on?"

 

"What isn't going on," Lisa said as Lance groaned.

 

"We were doing the show on Friday and they decided to work on the electric," Drew said.

 

"Oh no."

 

"Yeah. In the middle of the show, they turned the power off to the house," Lance said incredulously. He still couldn't believe it. They knew he was doing a radio show from the house and the times but they still just turned off the power.

 

"I have never seen anyone move as slow as these guys in the last two weeks that we've been moved in," Michael said. He was mad. The house was unfinished. He knew it wasn't going to be completely finished when he and Lance had to move in. But he hadn't expected it to be nearly unlivable. They had no hot water. They didn't even have a working kitchen. They ate out a lot or at friends' houses.

 

"Yeah," Lance cut in. "In the weeks leading up to us moving in there were kicking butt. Getting things done. They were actually ahead of schedule. Then we moved in and they've drug their feet. They've missed deadlines. It's... it's a mess."

 

"I have a question," Lisa spoke. "How did you get JC to stop being mad at you?"

 

"Did you guys kiss and make up?" Lance asked wiggling his eyebrows knowingly.

 

Rachel felt a blush creep over her features. That would have been something. She briefly wondered what would have happened if she had just kissed JC in the middle of his silent treatment. 'Probably would be living in Lance's construction zone.' "He actually ended up getting a little tipsy that night. We were at this bar in Jersey, hanging out with people JC knew and such," she started giggling remembering the night. "He was so drunk he actually broke out into the 'It's Gonna Be Me' dance."

 

"Nuh uh," Lance said with a wide grin.

 

"You're kidding," Drew said.

 

"Nope," Rachel shook her head. "I don't even know how it started; how the discussion even came up. He got up on these chairs that were pushed together..."

 

"No way!" Lance chuckled.

 

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "Right there in the bar, up on those chairs he started the choreography." She stopped as everyone broke out into a hard laughter. Drew even clapped his hands.

 

"Please tell me there is a video," Drew asked hopefully.

 

"I may or may not have taken one," Rachel grinned mischievously.

 

"While my sister shows this blackmail worthy video, we need to take a break," Lance said as he sent his show into commercial. "I want to see this video now." He wiggled his fingers in a 'give me' manner indicating he wanted her phone.

 

"Just a minute," Rachel said as she opened the camera on her phone.

 

"The commercial break is only so long," Lance reminded his sister. When she handed over her phone already at the video he quickly pressed play. "Oh my God..." he started laughing as he watched JC do the chorus part of the dance to 'It's Gonna Be Me'.

 

"How did he not fall?" Drew asked.

 

"I thought for sure he'd fall off and break a leg," Rachel said honestly.

 

"Not so concerned that you didn't stop videoing," Michael said.

 

"Of course not," Rachel said giggling.

 

"Welcome back Dirty Pop," Lance spoke when the commercial ended. "During that break we learned that JC still remembers that 'It's Gonna Be Me' dance."

 

"And you can't even remember the words," Lisa giggled as she and Michael watched the video before passing the phone back to Rachel.

 

"I can't remember lyrics for shit," Lance said.

 

"He's right, he can't."

 

"I took one of those BuzzFeed quizzes they had up for lyrics and I failed...miserably." While everyone was laughing at him, his phone buzzed on the desk in front of him. He glanced down at the display with the notion of not replying until he saw what it was and who it was from. "This oughta be good," he chuckled, picking up his phone.

 

"What is it?" Lisa asked.

 

"Can we get through one show without checking our phones?" Drew complained.

 

"So JC just sent me a video," Lance looked at Rachel who had straightened in her seat. "Does that mean JC's listening right now? Your dancing skills - even drunk - are still on point. Far better than mine when I'm sober."

 

"Hi JC!" Lisa gave him a shout out.

 

"Now let's see what video he would send..." he tapped the play button and watched grinned seeing a video of Rachel. The video was shot from behind. Rachel was sitting in her stool, drawing on the canvas in front of her. He could just make out the ear bud wires coming from her ears.

 

"'Tell me why...ain't nothing but a heartache. Tell me why... ain't nothing but a mistake...tell me why I never want to hear you say. I want it that way.'" Lance couldn't stop from laughing as he listened to Rachel belt out a song by the Backstreet Boys. "Oh man Rachel..."

 

"Oh God," Rachel buried her head in her hands; her face aflame. "Turn that off!"

 

"I think this deserves to be tweeted out!"

 

"No!" Rachel gasped. "Don't you dare! Lance! Delete that right now!" She grabbed her phone and quickly sent off a text to JC. 'I wouldn't be home when I get there if I were you.'

 

'I ain't scared.'

 

"We know who got the singing talent in the Bass family."

 

"I am completely mortified," Rachel groaned, covering her face. "I sound worse than a dying cat. Please delete that."

 

"Don't feel bad Sis," Lance grinned at her. "With a little auto tune you'll be at the top of the charts."

 

"I hate you," Rachel glared at him when he played the video again. "JC, you're in big trouble. I'd make yourself scarce tonight."

 

*~*

 

Matthew Morrison got out of his car. He silenced his phone before sticking it in his pocket. There was a heavy weight pressing down on his chest. Nothing good was going to come out of this. Ever since the text came through, he felt sick. The moment his phone beeped signaling the text, his whole demeanor changed. He was filled with dread.

 

One mistake was coming back to haunt him. One bad night, one indiscretion was gonna ruin everything - was gonna turn his life upside down. Everything he had painstakingly built was going to come crashing down. He would always have his music, acting could come and go at any moment but Renee - his beautiful wife - she could leave him and he would never get her back. It was something he wouldn't recover from.

 

He rang the doorbell and waited, torn between willing it to open quickly and to never open. He kept his head down not wanting anyone to see him. The last thing he wanted to be was recognized. If that happened everything would fall apart.

 

'It's going to anyway. Lies always came out.'

 

Matt hoped the voice was wrong, but he feared it wasn't. In this business nothing stayed a secret. Someone always found out. He should have told her immediately but he was too scared. Renee would leave him. He couldn't let that happen. He would do anything to keep her in his life.

 

"Hello Matt," Addison sent him a smile as she held open the door.

 

Including making a deal with the devil.

"What are you doing?"

"Plotting JC's death," Rachel grumbled into the phone. She paused the movie on Netflix and turned her attention to her friend on the phone.

 

Melissa Green laughed. "You would no sooner harm a hair on JC's head than I would stop baking."

 

Melissa owned 'Decadence', a bakery nestled in the Hills of Hollywood. On a diet or not, no one could turn down one of Melissa's treats. The bakery spawned their friendship. Rachel hadn't been able to turn down Melissa's delicious whipped strawberry pie.

 

"You should threaten to close your doors," Rachel said. "You'd have the who's who of Hollywood beating down your doors, throwing you money in your face to stay open."

 

"I can't tell you how many offers I've gotten to be a personal chef. They don't seem to mind that I bake muffins and such and not steak."

 

"Steak? You know damn well no one in Hollywood eats meat."

 

Melissa snorted over the phone. "Well..."

 

"No! Shut up Mel! I don't want to hear about your sex life."

 

"That's because you aren't getting any. If you'd just tell JC how you feel..."

 

"Mel..." Rachel sighed. It was a conversation that spanned years from almost the beginning of their friendship. Melissa pushed her to tell JC how she felt and she deflected each and every time. There was no way she could risk her friendship with JC if he didn't feel the same. By revealing her feelings, it could completely change the dynamic of their relationship.

 

"I'm telling you, he's in love with you," Melissa insisted. "I know these things. Being in customer service and working with the general public I've gotten pretty good at reading people. I've set many of my customers up with each other."

 

"Why haven't you set me up with Brad Pitt?"

 

Melissa laughed, "That's hilarious! Brad Pitt is so not your type."

 

"Oh yeah," Rachel countered. "Then what's my type?"

 

"You're living with him."

 

Rachel mentally cursed herself for walking right in to that.

 

"You know I'm right," Melissa sing-songed.

 

Melissa was right but Rachel wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of letting her know. When she first met the boy band members after Lance had joined, she considered them all her friends. She loved them all equally. They accepted her into their group. They were her 'brothers' just as much as Lance. As the years passed, she gravitated toward JC more. They had more in common. Neither of them liked to go out as much. Both liked the quiet. Unlike Justin or Chris, they could sit in the same room and not have to fill the quiet with conversation. The quiet drove Justin and Chris nuts and they'd have to fill it with mindless chatter.

 

Once the group ended and she started working solely with JC, she felt her feelings start to change. There was more one on one time. There was no one else vying for their attention, pulling them away from each other. Being alone together for so much of the time, they were bound to grow closer. It was inevitable. She learned a lot of things about JC that she had never known before. In turn, she shared a lot of her own secrets with him. She wasn't sure who knew more about her: Lance or JC.

 

She had been part of all his trials and tribulations. She had seen many of his angry breakdowns after Jive would push back his single release dates and album release dates. She was there to see the self doubt when Justin's solo music exploded on the charts and his own didn't. When the music critics put Justin on a pedestal, proclaiming him the 'voice' of *NSYNC and the reason the group made it big, she was there making sure he knew it was all lies. She let him know that he had just as much to do with *NSYNC's success; there were many fans who had preferred his melodious crooning over Justin's nasally whine.

 

When Jive eventually dropped him, she was there; cussing and damning the label to hell right alongside JC. Her opinions were louder than his. She was there serving the alcohol and there to pour him in to bed after having a few too many. She would protect him with everything she had; from record labels and executives to fans and women looking to get with him.

 

The last one hurt as much as one would think. To love someone as much as she loved JC and having to watch as he dated women, fell in love with them, had one night stands in between his relationships. There was nothing she could do but stay on the sidelines and be happy for him and pretend that it wasn't breaking her heart.

 

She had been through many girlfriends. Tara Reid and the relationship that was doomed for the beginning as media and managers pushed them together to help the sales of his debut single. Eva Longoria had broken his heart; had played him and cheated on him. She was there to watch the downward spiral JC took when he found out. She was there to watch the one night stands parade in and out of his bedroom. She was there to listen to him trash women and the fake Hollywood women that were in abundance in Los Angeles. She was there to listen to him go on and on about why couldn't he find the one woman who loved him for him and not because he was JC Chasez of *NSYNC, who wasn't just using him as a stepping stone to something better or for his money. She wanted to shout; to tell him to open his eyes and see what was in front of him. What had been in front of him all this time. To see her. To see her as more than a best friend. To give her a chance to hold his heart. She would never break it. She would hold that precious item close. She would love him how he deserved to be loved. If only he would give her a chance.

 

She was there for the last relationship that made him give up all together. She stayed quiet as he fell in love with Kathryn. Didn't bring up the fact that she looked like Eva. Looked like Jennifer, the girlfriend after Eva. Her heart broke when Kathryn moved in and slowly started taking over the house. She never told JC how close she had been to moving out. Had started looking for places to rent. Above all she wanted JC to be happy. That's all she wanted and if that was with Kathryn, she would have dealt with her feelings and broken heart.

 

The relationship started going downhill the moment Kathryn started hinting toward a ring and marriage and kids. She tried to warn her not to push JC. He would propose when he was good and ready - after he analyzed it to death - and not a moment sooner. Kathryn didn't listen to her. The final straw had been the ring Kathryn wanted. She had specific requirements. It had to be a certain stone and a certain cut with a certain amount of carets. JC's eyes had been opened to the truth. Kathryn may have loved him, but she loved his money more.

 

"Rachel!" Melissa's voice penetrated her thoughts.

 

"I'm sorry. What?"

 

"I asked what are you gonna do when he finds the one and gets married? You're gonna be a big part in his wedding. Hell you'd probably end up being his best man! Can you stand there and watch him marry someone else?"

 

'No!' Her heart screamed. She could already feel the pain in her chest and her throat swelling. She tried to block out the images. "If it makes him happy?" She finally forced out. "Yes." In the end that's all that mattered. Her heart would heal.

 

Right?

 

*~*

 

"Hey man," JC stood and shook Matt's hand pulling him into a half hug. When they parted, he took his seat again while Matt sat across from him. A waitress appeared quickly and disappeared just as fast with his drink order.

 

"So," Matt said leaning back in his chair, ignoring the menu in front of him. "What's up with the last minute invite to dinner?"

 

"I need a reason to invite you to dinner?"

 

"No," Matt shook his head. "It's just strange. You only do this when Rachel's out of town and you don't know what to do with yourself. Did she go back home?"

 

JC rolled his eyes. "That's not true," he said even though he knew it was. When Rachel wasn't home he never felt like cooking for one person. He'd go out to eat and invite friends. It hadn't taken Jimmy and his longtime girlfriend, Mary, long to get ahead of the game and invite him over to their house for dinner when they knew Rachel would be gone. No one ever said anything and he never asked, but he was sure Rachel made them look after him.

 

"Right," Matt chuckled. "So what is the real reason you invited me out? Rachel kick you out?"

 

JC snorted, "It's my house."

 

"Like you wouldn't leave if she asked you too."

 

"She wouldn't ask me to so it's a moot point."

 

Any response Matt had was forgotten when the waitress came back with his drink and to take their order. "So, the real reason you asked me to dinner? Renee was mighty jealous when I left; asking me if she should be worried."

 

JC nearly choked on his drink. He picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth. "Renee has nothing to worry about. Trust me. And even if I did go that way, I'd find someone way cuter than you."

 

"Hey!" Matt protested. "I am quite the catch!"

 

"Right," JC rolled his eyes. "I've seen your living habits. You must have Renee brainwashed to stay with you."

 

"Renee in the best," Matt said seriously. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

 

JC was jealous of Matt. He was jealous of the relationship he was in with Renee. Their relationship was filled with love and laughter. They spent time together and when they went out on ‘guys only' or ‘girls only' nights, there was never any sign of jealousy. They trusted each other whole heartedly.

 

He wanted that. He wanted what Matt had. He wanted to find that someone he would spend the rest of his life with. He wanted to find that someone to raise children with. With Lance getting married, it meant he was the last member of *NSYNC standing; something the media and fans continuously brought up. How could he answer the "when are you getting married" question when he didn't have a clue himself. There were no prospects.

 

Except one.

 

But Rachel didn't have feelings for him. At least not like he had for her. He could laugh at Jimmy's jokes about him not being able to function if Rachel quit. He could laugh at Matt's joke about leaving his house. Laughter hid the truth. He wouldn't be able to function if Rachel quit and left him. He had relied on her for 10 years to basically run everything he put his hand in. If Rachel asked him to leave, he would pack his things up and find a new house and probably still end up covering the bills associated with the house.

 

He was a sap.

 

He was a moron. An idiot and all the other synonyms that went along with it.

 

He loved her. He had loved her for years and tried to prove he didn't by dating other women who were the complete opposite of Rachel.

 

"Why don't you just tell her?" Matt asked taking a drink.

 

"Tell who what?" JC feigned dumb.

 

Matt rolled his eyes. "Tell Rachel that you love her."

 

"I don't love her." JC life and caught Matt's stare and sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Fine. I do love her."

 

"Finally!" Matt exclaimed. "Now why don't you do something about it! You can stop whatever this is...this dance you two have been doing for years. You're just wasting time."

 

"You know how much is riding on that?" JC stared at Matt. He could feel the tightening in his chest. It came any time he thought about blurting his feelings out to Rachel. "I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way. She lets me down easy and we agree to put it all behind us and not let it hurt our friendship but it will. She'll know how I feel about her and it will be on her mind. She won't want to hurt me and our whole dynamic will change."

 

"Or..." Matt said cutting in. "She'll tell you she loves you too and your relationship will change for the better because let me tell you," he grinned. "There is nothing better than spending your life with the one you love."

 

JC let Matt's words roll over in his head. He could tell Rachel he loved her and she could tell him she loved him too.

 

‘Or she could tell you she doesn't feel the same way.'

 

Could he put himself out there? Could he take the chance of forever altering their relationship? Could he take the chance of losing her?

 

*~*

Rachel heard the key in the door around nine that evening. A rerun of Law and Order: SVU graced the television screen. She had a blanket thrown over her lap with her feet up on the coffee table in front of her. A bowl of popcorn sat in her lap and a cold Pepsi sat next to her feet. The only glow in the house came from the television.

 

She made no acknowledgement that she heard him when he walked into the room. A plastic store bag came into view when he held it in front of her face.

 

"A peace offering," JC said, giving the bag a shake.

Rachel looked at him, then at the bag. She was gonna tell him she wasn't mad but she didn't want him to take the gift away. She reached for the bag, taking it off his wrist. Opening it up she grinned seeing a king size Hershey bar. "You think you can buy me with a Hershey bar?"

 

"And with Reese's Pieces, Gobstoppers, Butterfingers, Hershey Kisses..." JC smirked. "Basically the whole candy aisle." He teased.

 

"Funny... I don't see the whole candy aisle in here." She peered in the bag once more before looking up at him.

 

JC rolled his eyes and moved to take the bag away. "I'll be right back."

 

"No, JC..." Rachel reached out and grabbed his wrist before he could walk away. She nearly upset the popcorn in her lap. She put the bowl on the table in front of her and dropped her feet to the floor. "A perfect peace offering." She sent him a smile.

 

JC grinned and let her take the bag again. As she broke the chocolate bar in pieces insides the wrapper, he took a seat next to her. "It's 80 degrees outside and you're under a blanket."

 

"You've known me for how long?" She sent him a look as she opened her candy and put one of the broken pieces in her mouth.

 

"True," JC leaned forward and grabbed the popcorn before settling back on the couch next to Rachel. He popped a couple pieces in his mouth. "Extra butter?"

 

"Is there any other way?" She asked, eating another rectangle piece from her candy bar. "Where did you disappear to?"

 

"Dinner with Matt. What did you do?"

 

"Netflixed. Talked with Mel. Then ran to Panera Bread for carry out. My life got easier since they made that place a drive thru. Though I should probably worry they know me by name now."

 

JC chucked. "Every take out place within a twenty mile radius of the house knows your name to include all the pizza delivery guys."

 

"That's not true!" Rachel glared at him. "I cook! A lot more than I used to."

 

"That's true," JC gave that to her. She did cook a lot more than she used to. When she did, she always had the recipe open on the counter and followed it to a T. If anything failed, her mother was just a phone call away to steer a disaster into something edible. "I always see the pizza delivery guys looking at the house forlornly as they drive by."

 

"Shut up!" Rachel laughed, slapping his arm.

 

"The Dominoes kid nearly swallowed his tongue when you opened the door in a towel."

 

"I had a bathing suit on underneath," she pointed out. Though it had been the strapless one she wore to sunbathe. Wrapped in a towel, it looked like she had been naked. The delivery guy had been caught off guard. He could barely talk. He had a hard time meeting her eyes. "I gave him a good tip."

 

"You sure did," JC laughed.

 

"Gross JC, I don't want to think about some teenager jacking off to me."

 

On second thought, neither did he. "So who did you and Melissa match up today?" With those two, you knew there would be nothing but gossip, inappropriate jokes and lots of laughter and giggling.

 

"Me and Brad Pitt." She put the empty candy bar wrapped on the coffee table and took a drink of her Pepsi. When she leaned back, she laid her head on JC's shoulder and settled the blanket more comfortably on her.

 

JC snorted. "Please. You haven't forgiven Brad Pitt for cheating on Jennifer Aniston. You still won't watch any movie with Angelina Jolie."

 

"No good home wrecker," she muttered, her lips curling with disgust.

 

"So I don't think you'll be hooking up with Brad Pitt any time soon." He lifted his legs on the coffee table next to Rachel's. It was normal for them to sit like that and watch TV. It was almost involuntary. They'd been doing it for years. Their bodies would gravitate toward each other.

 

"She did try to set me up on a blind date with a customer," Rachel said after a moment of silence.

 

JC had to catch himself from stiffening. He barely caught the ‘no' from tumbling out of his mouth. "This customer pass the best friend test?"

 

"Considering you haven't met him, no." She wasn't sure why she brought the topic up. She had given Melissa an adamant no about setting her up on any dates with any of her customers famous or not.

 

"Aww," JC teased and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze. "Just so you know, no one will pass my test for you."

 

"Not unless they walk through hell and back, take a bullet for me, beat up a purse snatcher, save a lady from a burning building..."

 

JC rolled his eyes. "You've been ready too many of your trashy romance novels."

 

Rachel couldn't dispute that. She had been knocking out a bunch of them. They were a fast read. Read one, read them all.

 

"Anything exciting happen at dinner with Matt? Get attached by gleeks or overzealous *NSYNC fans?"

 

"Matt tried to set me up."

 

"Set you up how? On a date? With who?" She asked feeling him nod. A wave of jealousy coursed through her. Dates made her nervous. Any one of the women JC went on a date with could wind up being ‘the one'.

 

"Addison." It had been a weird conversation. Addison was beautiful enough, but she didn't do it for him. He felt nothing between them at all. There were no sparks, no tension between them. That was why he turned her down every time she asked him out for drinks. He didn't want to lead her on. He told Matt as much, but his friend wouldn't let it go. Kept talking her up, bringing up things they had in common. There was something about Addison that raised a warning. He wasn't sure what it was, but he had every intention of steering clear. Right now she was around because they were writing a song together. JC finally had to tell Matt that he loved Rachel and he would never date Addison before Matt dropped the subject. The conversation had moved on to other topics, mostly about music, Broadway, TV and industry gossip they'd both been privy to.

 

Rachel fought to keep from stiffening and pulling away. If JC went on a date with Addison .... If she woke up and caught Addison pouring a cup of coffee wearing nothing but JC's shirt... Rachel felt like she was going to be sick. She wanted to shout, ‘NO!' for JC to hear. She wanted to forbid him from dating her. She wanted to lean over and kissed him with every ounce of emotion she had until he knew what her feelings were.

 

"You think they'll ever hook up?"

 

"Wh-who?" Rachel asked, clearing her throat. She hadn't recovered from JC dating Addison. He never told her what he told Matt. She was afraid to ask; afraid to hear the answer.

 

"Benson and Stabler," JC nodded toward the TV. "They've been doing this dance for years." ‘Just like us.'

 

Rachel stared at the two main character on the screen: Benson and Stabler. She knew the answer having kept up with the series. The actor playing Stabler left the series at the end of a previous season which caused the character to retire with no warning. Benson had been caught off guard. A relationship was never flushed out. "No," she finally said. "It would completely ruin their dynamic."

JC grinned as he walked up behind Rachel a couple days later. She was sitting close to her easel working. Lance's present sat off to the side still on an easel. There hadn't been a change made to it since she declared she wanted to wait and see if something else came to her. As far as he knew, she hadn't made any inquiries about getting it framed. He figured he'd give it another day or two, then make a few calls himself to price custom frames for the drawing. Then he could give the information to Rachel. More than likely he'd end up taking her to a frame shop himself just so the gift would be done on time.

 

Having Lance's present done on time meant he wouldn't be able to tease her. Last year he had been able to tease her relentlessly as she frantically rushed around at the last minute trying to secure the most amazing gift. She had shown up to the party empty handed when her gift hadn't arrived in time. He had spent the next month not letting her live it down. Rachel finally had to threaten him with his own birthday present before he stopped.

 

The present he had received two months later floored him. The rare limited edition Michael Jackson ‘Thriller' vinyl had to have put a dent in her savings. The present had caused an argument between the two. There was no way he could accept the gift knowing how much it would have cost. Rachel had thrown the cost of his present to her back in his face. The skis and snowboard hadn't cost him much and he could afford it. Rachel on the other hand... She had eventually won the argument. She had taken the vinyl from his hands and walked over to the trash can. Putting her foot on the lever to open the lid, she dangled it above the can. JC had paled remembering the food he had tossed in there earlier that day. He dove for the record before Rachel could drop it. Her laughter had followed her out of the kitchen while he tried to calm his heart, clutching the record to his chest.

 

The shoe was going to be on the other foot this year, he was sure. Rachel's birthday present had been purchased and set since November. Before they both left town to spend time with their families for the Thanksgiving, they had gotten together with a lot of their friends in town to have a friends Thanksgiving. It was then when he'd overheard a friend of his telling Rachel about the trip he had taken over the summer to the Scandinavian countries. Later on, he had picked his friend's brain on the trip and started his own research.

 

The plane tickets and itinerary sat in an envelope hidden between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back DVDs. Those were two movies he knew Rachel would never mess with on the shelf. Each year he had to get more and more creative when it came to hiding his presents to her because she was a major snoop. After so many years, it had almost turned in to a game. He knew it was pointless for him to snoop. Rachel never had his presents early.

 

Leaning against the door jam, JC crossed his arms as he watched Rachel working. The amount of talent she had still blew him away after all these years. Her hand moved across the paper. From what he could tell, the huge paper was divided in to four sections. Each of those sections, she was drawing a piece of cake on a plate of different moments of consumption. The first square held the full piece of pie on the plate. All he could do was stare as she worked on the second square that had the tip of the triangle missing after a bite had been taken.

 

JC wondered what she would think of the gift he had gotten her. When he bought it, he hadn't given a thought to how it would look - him taking her on a two week vacation. It wouldn't be the first time they went on vacation together, but their vacations were usually with a lot more people joining them whether it was skiing in Colorado or lying on the beach somewhere in the Caribbean. They always had a lot of couples joining them.

 

Couples.

 

This trip would be different. This time it would be just him and her spending two weeks together in Europe, exploring Sweden, Norway, and Denmark. Each hotel he had booked for the trip had come either with adjoining rooms or rooms with two beds. It had been difficult to plan some of the things he thought Rachel might like because it seemed no matter where he searched, there was always something romantic. He had been half way through booking a couple excursions in Norway before he realized they weren't like that. They didn't have that kind of relationship.

 

At least not yet.

 

He had finally confirmed his feelings to someone other than himself. Matt had given him a lot of shit during dinner, but had ultimately been happy for him. He felt relief finally telling someone what he had kept inside for many years. There had been plenty of excuses he had come up with in his mind not to tell Rachel of his feelings. She'd been dating someone. He'd been in a relationship. He was in the middle of a big project. She'd been in the middle of a huge commission. He didn't want to ruin their friendship.

 

That had been the biggest reason he kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. What he told Matt had been the truth. They could agree to not let the revelation hurt their friendship all they want but it would hurt their dynamic. It had to. Could he still chase her around the house and tackle her to the floor and tickle her? If he did that, would she be uncomfortable knowing how he felt?  What about if he did something as simple as just giving her a hug? Would it be awkward and full of overthinking? What would happen when they were watching a movie on the couch side by side? Would the Grand Canyon fit between them?

 

Could he fess up his feelings? Should he tell her before they go on the trip? Instead of taking the trip as friends, they could go as something more. They would be able to take some of the more romantic side trips he had seen. If he told her and she didn't feel the same way, it could ruin the trip. She might decide to take someone else instead and leave him home in a lonely house where the silence would fill with all the second thoughts and wishes of being able to go back in time and not tell her. He could tell her on the trip but that held the same risks. She could tell him she didn't fell the same way and then they would be stuck together in a foreign country unable to get away from each other.

 

The risks were too high.

 

The rewards though, were just as high. How would it feel to pull Rachel in to his arms and hold her knowing that he had the right to kiss her? How would it feel to kiss her? Hold her in his arms every night? Make love to her? He could hold her hand in the car or walking down the sidewalk. He could book one room on vacations knowing that she would be with him.

 

If he told her before, could he deal with not going on the trip with her? If his revelation wasn't as welcomed as he wanted it to be, would he be able to step back and let her go with someone else? He planned the trip with Rachel in mind and the places he was sure she'd want to visit. That didn't mean there weren't stops along the way that he had wanted to see. If he told her his feelings and she wasn't receptive, could he see her off on the two week trip while he stayed behind and drowned in the ‘what could have beens'?  

 

He could drown in the shoulds and shouldn'ts right now. He had spent many hours going over them. Unfortunately with all that time, JC had yet to come to a decision. Should he tell her how he felt? Should he keep it to himself and be content to be her friend? Every time he had a pro for telling Rachel, there was an equally big reason why he shouldn't tell her. The cycle was never ending.

 

JC brushed the thoughts aside as he turned and walked away from Rachel. He had thought about scaring her, but he had too many emotions that needed to be cleaned up and put away. Making sure he had his wallet and car keys, he slipped out the front door.

 

*~*

 

Glancing at the watch on her wrist, Rachel's eyes widened seeing the hour. She sat the colored pencil down and stretched raising her arms high above her head. The kinks released from her back and she gave a sigh of relief. The new drawing was coming along nicely. Melissa had asked her for a few new pieces to hang up in the bakery. In a couple weeks she was going in after closing and work on a new window piece. The bakery had two large windows that sandwiched the door. Melissa had given Rachel free reign over one whole window. The mock up was already done. She couldn't wait to get started.

 

Once her area was cleaned up, she took a look around to make sure she hadn't missed anything. Lance's birthday present still set in the corner. Standing in front of it, she stared at it with a critiquing eye. There wasn't a spot on the drawing that she thought needed a touch up or an addition. It was time to start going to places in town to look for the perfect frame and the right cost.  Deciding to do that tomorrow, she turned from the room.

 

The house was quiet and she frowned trying to remember if JC had told her he was leaving. She couldn't remember. It wasn't anything new. She often zoned out while she was working. Once JC had unloaded on her, after a bad day. He had paced behind her unleashing all the anger he had. She hadn't heard a word; just continued working on the painting. When he touched her shoulder after not getting a response to a question he asked, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

 

Grabbing her phone where she had left it on the couch, Rachel noticed she had a couple text messages from JC and a voicemail from an unknown number. Ignoring the voicemail, she pulled up the messages from JC seeing that he was at the studio.

 

‘You didn't need me did you? You should have told me.'

 

‘You were busy. Didn't want to interrupt.'

 

‘Still.' Rachel frowned. She tried to remember if she knew he was going to the studio today. Pulling up the calendar on her phone, she saw that he did indeed have studio time slated. Her mind was spazzing too much lately. The feelings she had for JC were getting harder and harder to push down. It used to be easy to put them up in a box and shove them to the back of her mind. She would pile a bunch of other boxes on top of that particular box. It always seemed to work. Lately the box never seemed to want to stay shut. Probably because there were so many emotions being stuffed in the box now. There wasn't room anymore. Creating a new box didn't seem to be working.

 

‘We could use some coffee.'

 

Rachel scoffed rolling her eyes. ‘Walk your happy ass down the block to Starbucks and get some.'

 

‘It's your job.'

 

‘You want me to drive all the way from West Hollywood to downtown LA, to stop at Starbucks to get you coffee when all you have to do is walk 5 minutes and get it yourself.'

 

‘Yes.'

 

Rachel rolled her eyes again and she entered her room. ‘Bye JC'. She shook her head; a small smile on her lips. One of these days she was gonna do one of the outlandish things JC wanted her to do, just to see the look on his face. She giggled as she thought about the look that would be on his face when she would walk into the studio with a drink carrier full of coffee.

 

A photo board hung on the wall next to one of her windows. The dark blue fabric was crisscrossed with light blue ribbon that paired nicely with the colors of her room. Tucked underneath the ribbon were many photos from over the years. Small snapshots of her with various people in various places. Some held photos from skiing in Colorado. There were photos from the Caribbean. Photos from Mississippi and Florida. There were many photos taken around LA. There were photos of her and Lance, her and her parents, her and her older sister Stacy, wither her niece and nephews. There were also photos of her with JC's parents, Roy and Karen, and Heather and Tyler, his siblings. There were photos of her and Melissa. Photos of her and various friends. There were a lot of photos of her and JC.

 

She skimmed over the photos, her eyes paying more attention to the ones that had just her and JC. There was a photo taken a few years ago in downtown LA. It was late at night and the alcohol had been flowing freely. Outside the bar, before they caught a cab back to the house, she had hopped on JC's back, getting a piggy back ride. Renee had snapped the photo before getting a ride from Matt. The four of them had walked down the sidewalk laughing and carrying on.

 

Another photo had been from the Colorado ski trip they had taken in January. They were decked out from head to toe in gear completely hiding their identities. JC was dressed in black snow pants and a black ski jacket. Both held green piping. The green piping had helped her distinguish that it was him in the mess of other skiers dressed in black. His hands were covered in black gloves. The coat was zipped all the way up, covering his neck. He wore a ski mask over his head with a large goggles with colored lenses and a black helmet. His snowboard was held under one arm.

 

She stood next to him, her arm draped on his shoulder. She was decked out in black snow pants, but her ski jacket was hot pink. The inside of her sleeves and down the sides of her jacket was black. Her snow pants had the same hot pink piping. Like JC, her face was covered with a ski mask and goggles. A helmet set on her head. She was already standing on her snow board. Her free arm was bent in front of her body two fingers raised giving the peace sign. A smile crossed her lips as she remembered the jokes after the picture had been taken. She had claimed her eyes had been shut. JC had said he hadn't been smiling.

 

Next to that photo had been a group shot of everyone on the trip. All the girls had crowded in front of the guys, their knees bent so not to block faces. Without any context, it looked like six couples enjoying a vacation together. That wasn't the case. It was five couples, then her and JC. The photo was nice to look at and pretend that it did represent what people would assume. It hadn't been planned but everyone just sort of lined up with their significant other. The phone had been passed to a random skier to snap the photo before everyone got on the lifts. The group had just converged together. She hadn't even realized everyone's locations until she had seen the photo later. The photos on the photo board painted a different picture than the life she actually lived. It looked like her and JC were a couple. They weren't. No matter how much she wanted it to be true.

 

Rachel sighed and took a seat on her bed. With JC in the studio, there was no telling how late he would be there. That meant she had an open night. She wondered what Melissa was doing and if she wanted to go out and create some havoc. Grabbing her phone again, she was about to text her friend when the red balloon on her phone icon caught her attention. She had forgotten about the voicemail from the unknown caller. Most of the times the callers were an automated voice system and they'd get deleted. Very rarely did they contain a message she actually needed to hear. She couldn't afford to take the chance. If it turned out to be something important regarding JC and she deleted it... she wouldn't give JC the chance to fire her. She'd fire herself.

 

The voicemail kicked on and she frowned at the noise in the background that made it hard to hear. She plugged a finger in her free ear in hopes to better hear what was going on. Judging by the first few seconds, it didn't sound like it was an important phone call. She was getting ready to delete it figuring she'd been butt dialed by someone random, but paused when she thought she heard JC's voice.

 

‘Ask her out? Hell, I don't even like her!'

 

Rachel frowned. That was definitely JC's voice. What in the world was he talking about?

 

‘Come on, she's hot!'

 

‘She's completely obvious. She's always hanging over me. It gets on my nerves how she's always around. She doesn't even do anything. Doesn't put any effort in what she does.'

 

‘Why does she live with you then?'

 

Rachel's heart started beating faster. She couldn't make out the voice who asked the question. There was too much background noise. There was only one person they could be talking about. Her.

 

‘Guess I felt sorry for her... certainly better ones out there... I can't get rid of her now... I just gotta suck it up for the next week or two and then she's gone..."

 

The words were broken up and faded out in certain spots. They still hit home.

 

Tears had filled her eyes as she listened to JC talk about her. Her heart fell into a pit in her stomach and shattered into a million pieces. Her fears had been realized and they were worse than anything she could have ever thought. She always thought if she told JC her feelings, he'd let her down nicely. He wouldn't hurt her. They'd still be friends, not as close as they as they used to be, but friends. But this... to find out that he didn't even like her.

 

After all this time, he'd been putting on this front. He hired her because he felt sorry for her. He didn't appreciate her work, thought she didn't do anything. How was it even possible for him to think that? She worked her ass off for him. When he was trying to launch his solo career, she had many sleepless nights where she worked around the clock trying to line up appearances and interviews.

 

‘What about Addison?'

 

 ‘I think I'm going to ask her out.'

 

‘It's about fucking time man!'

 

‘Yeah man. Little slow on the uptake but I know she's the one.'

 

The voicemail ended but Rachel remained frozen, the phone still pressed to her ear. She didn't think it was possible for her heart to break anymore but it did. JC not only didn't like her, but he was going to ask Addison out. Addison who looked like another Eva Longoria double. Just like Jennifer had. Just like Kathryn had. It was the complete opposite of her. Her with her blonde hair and green eyes.

 

It felt like she was going to be sick. The photos on the wall were mocking her now.  The smiling faces taunted her and she wondered if the friends in the photos knew JC's real thoughts. Every where she looked in her room she was met with a memory that she had once held dear. They were now tainted. Ruined. She dropped her phone onto the bed and jumped up. With tears streaming down her face she quickly rushed in to her closet and pulled the suit case from the back corner. Tossing it on the bed, she started throwing clothes in.  Running away never solved anything, but she couldn't stay. She had to get away.

"Why are you calling me?" Matt asked as he stood outside on the patio. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Renee hadn't followed.

 

"Calling to make sure you're holding up our end of the deal." Addison's voice floated through the phone.

 

"I sent the voicemail today. She should have opened it by now." Matt rubbed a free hand over his face thinking of the voicemail he had created by manipulating the conversation he had recorded between himself and JC the other night at dinner. "You know it's not going to work."

 

"Oh it will work." Addison smirked. "Once Rachel hears that voicemail, she'll be too distraught to cope and leave. I'll be there to pick up the pieces."

 

"What makes you think she'll be distraught? She'll probably be so pissed off the conversation was even sent to her to begin with."

 

"Oh she'll be distraught. Trust me Matthew, a woman knows. And Rachel is in love with JC. This will destroy her."

 

Matt sighed. He knew Rachel harbored feelings for JC. Since his conversation with JC the other night, he now knew that JC was in love with her. It made what he did a thousand times worse. Confirming his feelings for Rachel wasn't something he thought JC would ever do. Matt figured he'd dance around them for years to come. It had caught him off guard and he almost called an end to the whole plan. Then JC had mentioned Renee and the pit in his stomach grew. He couldn't end the plan. If he didn't follow through with Addison's demands, she was going to tell Renee. If Renee found out he cheated on her, their relationship was over.

 

"Why do you have to hurt her?"

 

"It's nothing personal," Addison said. "I want JC and she's in my way."

 

"Even if Rachel leaves, there is no guarantee JC will even look at you twice."

 

Addison laughed. "Trust me, he'll do more than look."

 

Matt ended the call without even bothering to say goodbye. In order to save his own marriage, he had potentially torpedoed a relationship between two of his friends. For years he had watched JC and Rachel dance around their feelings. It was obvious to everyone they liked each other. He had been in plenty of conversations with people talking about when the two would finally wizen up. The pool amongst the circle of friends kept growing, getting bigger and bigger with each passing year. The last time he placed money in the pot, he had said JC would realize his feelings for Rachel before he turned forty. That gave him a little over three years. With the dinner conversation, he was ready to place a new bet. JC would come clean before his birthday in August. It was a little over three months away which would give JC the opportunity to freak out about the feelings, hem and haw over them, before finally coming up with a plan to tell her. It would be perfectly executed no doubt.

 

Except for one problem.

 

The voicemail Matt had sent Rachel. The conversation had been real. Matt had just pulled sound bytes and moved them around to different locations. JC hadn't been talking about how Rachel hung all over him or how he couldn't wait to get rid of her. No. He had been talking about how she was the one. There had been thirty minutes of conversation to sift through and pull from. What he had sent Rachel had been roughly 30 to 45 seconds of the whole conversation. It took him nearly an hour to send it after he had it completed.

 

He wish beyond all hope that Rachel would delete the voicemail without hearing it. He spoofed his number allowing it to come up as unknown. Unknown callers never had anything important on the other side. The ones that called him were automated systems that tried to scam people out of money. He hoped Rachel would assume it was a scam and delete it without listening. If that didn't work, he hope she would corner JC and demand an explanation on why she had received a voicemail of him talking about how much he didn't like her. If he couldn't get the first scenario that was the one he wanted. He banked on JC's and Rachel's many years of friendship would see the lies laced throughout the voicemail. JC wasn't a very good liar. He was terrible. No way would Rachel believe he didn't like her. Maybe he should just get in his car and go over to JC's house and fess up. He would come clean to them about the voicemail and about Addison and hope they would forgive him.  That seemed like the best thing he could do.

 

Before Matt should make a move, arms wrapped around him from behind. His wife's perfume circled him and he closed his eyes.

 

"You look like you're about to go in to battle."

 

"Sorry," Matt turned in Renee's arms. He bent his head, kissing her softly on the lips. "Lot of things on my mind."

 

"Do you want to talk about them?"

 

Matt smiled at Renee, lifting a hand to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "Just trying to work things out in my head first."

 

"I'm here if you want to talk."

 

"I love you." Matt knew he couldn't go to JC's and fess up. Doing so would cause him to lose the woman in front of him. It was something he couldn't risk. All he could do was hope that JC's and Rachel's friendship was strong enough to withstand his manipulation.

 

*~*

 

The worst seat on the plane. The middle seat of the very last row of the plane right in front of the bathroom. Desperate people did crazy things. That would explain why she was currently sitting in that seat. Would explain why she had paid $700 for that seat. She was desperate. She would have paid $700 to sit on the toilet. She cried while she tossed items into a suit case and a carry on. She cried while she booked the final seat on a plane out of LAX. She cried while she drove herself to the airport. She cried while she parked in long term parking and would have continued to cry in her car if she hadn't been on a time crunch to make her flight.

 

The flight had a layover in Houston before landing in Jackson, Mississippi at 10:30 that night. Rachel hadn't even let her parents know she was coming. She hadn't even been able to look at her phone since she had booked the flight. It was on silent at the bottom of her carry on bag beneath her seat. If she had enough strength, she would have left it laying on her bed. She couldn't bring herself to leave it behind.

 

When the no electronics sign went off and people started reaching for items they had stowed either beneath their seats on in the overhead compartment, Rachel didn't make a move. Listening to music or reading a book meant grabbing her phone and she didn't want to look at her phone. Her watch told her that JC was still at the studio. He wouldn't know she was gone. He could still text her. She didn't want to see any of his communications.

 

‘I don't even like her.'

 

The words played like a loop over and over in her mind. Each run through shattered what was left of her heart. She wasn't through crying and had to fight with her emotions to break down. The last place she wanted that to happen was 35,000 feet in the air surrounded by strangers. She didn't want that and she knew the people on the plane didn't want that either. She wasn't even sure what she was going to do once the plane landed in Jackson.

 

Mississippi was the only place that came to mind when she knew she had to get away. It was home. Granted it hadn't been her home since she had graduated high school fifteen years ago, but that didn't matter. That house in Clinton would always be considered home. She wasn't sure how she was going to explain her sudden appearance. Her parents weren't expecting her for another couple weeks. She and JC were due to fly out on the fourth - her birthday - for New Orleans. JC started rehearsals for Jesus Christ Superstar. While JC would be rehearsing, she had planned to sneak out for a few days to visit her family in Mississippi. It was only a three hour drive.  She had already secured tickets for the New Orleans show for her parents, Stacy and Ford, and Lance and Michael.

 

It had been an exciting last few weeks with the announcement of JC joining the cast. It had been well received and she couldn't wait for people to see him on stage. She couldn't wait for people to hear him sing again. That question had filled her social media notifications on a daily basis. It was in the back of her mind that after this summer tour, he would be bitten by the performance bug and want to start singing again. From New Orleans they were going to be living the bus life again. It was silly, but they had been excited to be on a tour bus again after so many years had passed.

 

Everything was now in a spin.

 

I don't even like her.

 

Rachel felt the tears welling up in her eyes and blinked quickly trying to hold them back. She was not going to cry on the plane. Using the long sleeve on one arm of the cardigan wrap she wore, she blotted it against her eyes to wipe away the tears. She didn't think she'd ever forget hearing those words from JC. He didn't even like her. How could they have lasted fifteen years if he didn't like her? How was that possible?

 

Was it a new development? Did he discover her feelings for him? Was that the reasoning? Once he discovered what she felt for him exceeded friendship was that the beginning of the end? Did he try to continue their friendship but it eventually got too hard? Had she been unable to keep her feelings hidden? Had she messed up and somehow alerted him? Did knowing she was in love with him kill their friendship? Did her feelings for him make him hate her?

 

What did JC mean when he said he had to suck it up for the next week or two and then she'd be gone? Was he going to fire her? Two weeks would put then in New Orleans. Did that mean she wasn't going with him to New Orleans? Was he going to fire her before they left? That meant he was firing her on her birthday. It didn't make sense. They had been making plans for New Orleans. JC had made her promise she would invite her parents down one night so they could have dinner together. He'd been looking forward to seeing them again.

 

‘He could still like your parents even if he doesn't like you.'

 

Rachel wished she had been able to take some of Lance's sleeping pill stash. One of them would have been good right about now. She could take it and sleep until Houston. She would be coherent enough to make sure she made her connecting flight, but the medication would dull her brain. It would turn off the voice, turn off the questions. That's what she needed. Something to turn off her brain.

 

What was she supposed to tell her parents when she knocked on their door at 11 o'clock at night? ‘Hi! Decided to pop in for a visit!' That would never suffice. Her mother would cross her arms, raise an eyebrow, and give her a look. Stronger men have given in under the eye of Diane Bass. When someone caught that look, they were liable to spill every bad thing they had ever done. With just a look Diane had been able to get every piece of information she, Lance, and Stacy had. It was hard to keep a secret in the Bass house if Diane had so much caught hint of a secret. Even on a good day, Rachel wasn't able to keep secrets from her mother. Industry secrets were different. Diane understood some news couldn't be shared. It was the personal ones that turned her mother into a bloodhound on a trail.

 

I know she's the one.

 

That one hurt. It hurt almost as bad of hearing JC say he didn't like her. He thought Addison was the one. Addison with the fake laugh, with her fake enthusiasm for anything JC seemed interested in. It was nauseating to hear at times and Rachel finally had to take to leaving when Addison showed up before she did something stupid.

 

Rachel should have seen it coming. Addison was exactly what JC went for in a woman. She had long brunette hair that had a shine like she stepped out of an Herbal Essence shampoo commercial every day. She had the brown eyes to match. Her skin was olive tone and blemish free. Addison was also on the shorter side. JC was almost a head taller. All those characteristics matched his previous girlfriends dating back to Eva.

 

Then there was her. Her long blonde hair was usually pulled back in a pony tail, very rarely was it styled. It definitely never looked like she stepped out of a shampoo commercial on a daily basis. Some days the canister of dry shampoo that sat on her sink counter was her best friend. Her eyes were a weird greenish-yellow color. The same color she shared with Lance. That might have been a turnoff for JC. Staring in to her eyes and thinking of her twin brother. Living in California had given her a small tan, but lock her up for the winter in a state like Montana or Wyoming and she'd come out of winter hibernation as white as the snow on the ground. Tanning wasn't high on her list of things to do. Usually she had one color. Red. Her tanning cycle consisted of red, tan, peeling, pasty white. Then there was her height. JC was only a couple inches taller than she was. She couldn't be more opposite. Black, white; up, down; left, right; women JC was attracted to, her.

 

*~*

 

JC frowned when he pulled into the garage. Rachel's car was not parked out side nor was it in the garage. He hit the button on the remote attached to his visor to close the garage door and grabbed the phone from the center counsel. The screen lit up revealing no messages since the last time he had checked - at a light at the end of his street. Each time he hit a red light, he'd look at his phone hoping there would be a message from Rachel. There hadn't been. The last message he had received from Rachel had been when she told him bye after refusing to make a coffee run. The frowned deepened.

 

He had sent numerous texts to her throughout the day. Each garnered no response. Even the couple of phone calls went unanswered. It was late. Knowing that he was leaving for the summer in less than two weeks time, he was trying to finish up as many projects as he could. The latest Girl Radical song was finally done. It was the song that kept him and Jimmy in the studio late tonight. They both wanted to finish it up. With him leaving, Jimmy was taking over the reigns of the group until he returned.

 

Talking with Jimmy tonight, they planned to meet tomorrow and put in a full day in order to finish the song they'd been working on with Addison. He couldn't wait for it to be done and he could close the door on Addison one final time. That would be a major relief. Jimmy offered to call Addison to tell her the plans and see if she was available. The statement had caused Jimmy to laugh because if JC was involved, Addison would always be available. JC hated that Jimmy was more than likely correct.

 

JC climbed from his car and walked into his house. The house was quiet and dark. If the missing car out front didn't signal Rachel wasn't home, the quiet definitely did. He flipped on the light in the kitchen and tossed his keys and wallet on the counter. There were no dishes in the sink or food in the fridge - homemade or otherwise. No takeout containers were in the trash. He groaned at his thinking. He was acting like an overprotective father. His thoughts toward Rachel were anything but fatherly.

 

Grabbing a water from the fridge he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Browsing through the channels on TV, he came across a Star Wars movie that just started. He grinned and settled in thinking of Rachel walking in and seeing the movie on TV. While he watched the movie he prepared a few comebacks for what she'd no doubt say about him watching a movie he had seen at least a hundred times. Stockpiling comebacks had been for nothing. The credits rolled two hours later and Rachel still hadn't returned.

 

It was now midnight. As he shut off the lights and locked up for the night, he couldn't help but feel a little angry. It was a rare occurrence for them to go this long without some sort of communication. Even if Rachel was out with friends or even back in Mississippi visiting family, she would shoot him texts at various moments throughout the night. The more texts he received was usually an indication of how much alcohol she had. For her not to message him since the early afternoon was odd. He knew she had her phone on her. She never went anywhere without it. She would have seen his texts and his phone calls by now. There was no way she hadn't. Why was she ignoring him?

 

As he crawled in to bed, jealousy set in. Was she out on a date? Did Melissa set her up with a customer? Did they hit it off and go back to his place? If that was the case, Rachel would have texted him that she was going out. On those blind dates, he always texted her good luck. He never meant it. Not really. He didn't want her to have good luck. He didn't want her to come home after a date and announce that she was in love or that she had met the one. When she went on blind dates, he was on stand by to swoop in with an emergency if Rachel sent him a 9-1-1 get-me-the-hell-out-of-here text. There had been a couple times where he had to rescue her from disastrous dates.

 

‘You coming home?'

 

‘Where are you?'

 

He sent the texts back to back and waited for a reply, but none were forthcoming. His phone remained silent. Not even the three little dots appeared on his screen to let him know she was responding. He sighed and sat his phone down on the bedside table. The red glare of the alarm clock numbers mocked him. Bars and clubs didn't shut down for another couple of hours. Grabbing his phone, he double checked the volume, making sure it was turned all the way up. If Rachel was out on the town and needed him to come pick her up, he didn't want to miss the call.

 

He would find out what was going on tomorrow when she either crawled from her room or slinked through the front door. He hoped if she came through the front door the next morning, she would tell him she had been out with Melissa and crashed at her place. Then they would sit at the kitchen table eating breakfast while she would tell him stories of the night before. He couldn't help but feel something was wrong. It was a feeling he couldn't explain. JC tried pushing the feeling aside and rolled over and tried to go to sleep.

Rachel nearly booked the hotel room for another day. There had been a lot of back and forth in her head before she decided to check out and head to Clinton to her parents. Her flight had been delayed out of Houston. Touchdown in Mississippi didn't happen until after midnight. There was no way she was going to knock on her parents' door at that late hour. She didn't want to scare them half to death. The only option she had was grabbing a hotel in Jackson for the night.

 

The extended layover in Houston had been brutal. There were many times she wanted to grab her phone to pass the time. If she did that, then there was a good possibility she'd see messages from JC. She wasn't sure what she'd do; how she would respond. Right now, she needed to block him out and figure out how she wanted to continue. Her wallet, unfortunately, had been in the same compartment as her phone. She had to stick her had in her bag and blindly grab. Using the cash she had, she grabbed a snack from the only open store along with a crossword puzzle book and a trashy romance novel with a good looking cowboy on the cover.

 

Both of those turned out to be bad ideas. There was a reason she didn't like crossword puzzles. After going through the puzzle once, it was still more than half empty. Even the second time around hadn't made a dent. It was then she realized that when she did crossword puzzles in the airport, JC was always with her and he always helped her with most line numbers. Sitting the crossword book on the chair next to her, she opened up the book and started to read. Two chapters in had her reading the back cover and groaning. The book was about a cowboy in Montana and his best friend since high school. The heroine, harboring a crush on her cowboy best friend, had overheard a conversation that had crushed her heart, causing her to flee.

 

The universe was mocking her. It had to be. It was the only explanation to be had. If she had read the back cover before she bought it, Rachel would have put the book back and steered clear. She was a sucker for cowboys though. This time it blew up in her face. She didn't want to read her life in Harlequin format. Mostly because she knew the book would end with the cowboy sweeping the heroine off her feet and riding off into the sunset. The event of that happening to her was highly unlikely. There would be no sweeping of the feet for her.

 

The book and the crossword puzzle magazine were tossed in her suitcase in the backseat of the rental car she had snagged that morning. With the delayed flight, the rental car place in the airport had already been closed for the evening. She had to take a taxi to the hotel. A taxi had taken her back to the airport to pick up a rental car. Filling out the forms she had hesitated on the duration she would need the car. How long did she need to rental? When was she returning to LA? Tomorrow? In a couple days? Next week? Next month? Never? In the end she put a week down.

 

A week sounded good. That put her the Wednesday before her birthday. There was a big, combined party for her and Lance that Saturday to celebrate. Sunday, her actual birthday, she was supposed to be flying to New Orleans with JC. Now she wasn't so sure. She had a week to figure out what she wanted to do. A week to figure out what was going to happen next. There was a lot of unknowns. She wasn't even sure where to begin. She wasn't even sure if Mississippi was the place to figure it all out in. At least her parents' house anyway. Maybe she should have stayed at the hotel in Jackson and spent the week living on room service. That could have been done in LA, in much nicer hotels that had a better room service menu.

 

The drive to Clinton was quick. The late morning traffic was minimal. By now everyone was at work. It was still too early for the lunch crowd to hit the road. Both cars were in the driveway signaling her parents were home. Pulling behind her father's truck, she blew out a breath. Her heart hammered inside her chest. Her brain shouted ‘Danger Will Robinson!' and tried to kick her flight instincts. Her heart, haphazardly taped up and put back in her chest slightly crooked and barely hanging on, was screaming out for her mom.

 

The decision was made for her, when the front door opened and her mother stepped out onto the porch. Rachel could see the confusion on her mother's face before it morphed in to a wide smile upon recognizing her daughter. Rachel took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She put a smile on her face - one that she hoped would fool her mom - and climbed from the car.

 

"Rachel!" Diane exclaimed and climbed down the porch stairs and met her daughter on the sidewalk leading to the driveway. She pulled her in to a tight hug. "I didn't know you were coming!"

 

"Surprise!" Rachel laughed through the crack in her voice and hugged her mother tight. This was home, right there in her mother's arms. It felt like she was six years old again. The hug went on longer than it should have and Rachel had already failed at presenting a false front. Her mother would definitely know something was up but she couldn't seem to make herself let go.

 

"Hey," Diane said softly, one hand rubbing her daughter's back. "Are you okay?"

 

"Yes," Rachel raised her head, her eyes were wet with unshed tears. "I just needed that."

 

Diane gave a small smile. "I have plenty more to dole out." She squeezed her daughter's upper arm in a comforting gesture and looked behind Rachel, but the driveway was empty. She looked back at Rachel and frowned when her daughter wouldn't meet her eyes. Her senses piqued. "What do I owe the pleasure of this visit? You weren't supposed to be in New Orleans until the fifth. Daddy and I were coming down to see you the following weekend. When did you get in? Did you get in the morning? You must have left awful early there."

 

Rachel allowed her self to be corralled into the house. Her mother's questions floated around her. Once inside she took a deep breath and was bombarded with memories. No matter how many years she'd been away from the house, it always smelled the same. Over the years the décor had changed to be updated with the times. The carpet had been replaced nearly ten years ago and the walls had been repainted. It was still home though. The door jam leading into the kitchen was still marked with the height chart of her and her brother and sister. Over Thanksgiving, they had grabbed a pencil and measured themselves again. Stacy had joked they should have marked on the opposite side of the door jam to measure how much they would shrink as they grew older.

 

Upstairs the first door on the left had been her room. Her thing were gone now. What she didn't take with her to Orlando and eventually LA had been packed up and moved to the attic. The dingy pink carpet had been replaced with a dark grey color. The floral wallpaper had been ripped off and the walls painted light grey. The window had been fitted with white faux wood blinds. Teal curtains hung over the blinds, either side tied back, gave the room a pop of color.

 

Her parents' wedding photo still hung above the mantel. She had spent countless hours growing up staring at that photo wishing one day she would find the same love her parents had. She would imagine herself falling in love with a classmate and getting married. They'd live somewhere in Clinton because she never imagined herself leaving. She'd settle in to married life and have children. She had wanted at least three. Dreams always had a way of changing. She never imagined Lance leaving either. Then he did and she started to get itchy feet. Eventually, she left too.

 

Diane watched her daughter move around the living room, seemingly lost in thought. It was hard not to grow worried. It wasn't like Rachel to drop in unannounced, especially when she had just talked to her the other day and knew how busy the upcoming weeks were going to be. She'd been looking forward to spending the day with her daughter in New Orleans; looking forward to hopefully being able to spend a few hours with JC if he could spare the time. She was excited for the gig he had landed; proud of him for doing something he'd never done before. She knew he was going to blow everyone away.

The excitement she heard in her daughter's voice from the phone call seemed to be gone. The woman in front of her was not happy, regardless of the smile she put on her face. Diane knew her youngest like the backside of her hand. Rachel could never hide anything from her. Stacy was the best. She would never give up what she knew and was able to put on a front while hiding her real feeling. Lance wasn't as good as Stacy, but it still took Diane awhile to figure out when something was amiss with her son. Rachel though, had no poker face. Her emotions were always on her sleeves. Her heart was always on display for anyone to come through and trample it.

 

It always amazed her how JC never saw Rachel's feelings for him. They were plain as day on her face when she looked at him, shining in her eyes when she talked about him. Diane had been able to identify the feelings when Rachel had come home to visit during the summer in 2007. The emotions pouring off her when she talked about Jive and how they kept screwing over JC. The album release date kept getting pushed back, interview and appearances were falling through. She sat and listened to her daughter talk about how much work she put in trying to score interviews and appearances when it was supposed to be Jive and the publicist they hired for JC doing the work. She had been there to listen to the cries of unfairness and the blatant attempts to elevate Justin over JC. Rachel had been unable to keep her feelings out of her tirade and out of her tears when she eventually cried at the hurt she felt for her friend to see something he wanted slipping away, knowing she couldn't stop it.

 

"Are you okay?" Diane asked watching her daughter give a slight jump as if she had forgotten her mother was even in the room.

 

"Of course I'm okay," Rachel sent her mother a smile over her shoulder. "It was a long day yesterday traveling. My flight was delayed and I had a long layover in Houston."

 

"You got in yesterday? Why didn't you call?"

 

"I didn't get in until real late, Mom. It was too late to call. I just got a hotel room. By the time I was able to get my brain to quiet down and with the time change..." she gave a half shrug turning away from her mother before she could read something on her face she didn't want to explain.

 

"I wasn't expecting you for another two weeks."

 

"I just missed you and decided to come early."

 

"And miss your birthday party?" Diane questioned, her eyebrows furrowing.

 

Rachel could feel her mother's eyes on her and she fought against the urge to hunch her shoulders against the stare. As if hunching her shoulders would protect her from the stare. Her brain was screaming ‘danger' louder. It was too late now. She was already here. To leave meant Diane would stop at nothing to find out what was wrong. There would be a call placed to not only Lance, but to JC as well. Once she found out they knew nothing (that they didn't even know she was in Mississippi), her mother would stop at nothing to seek her out and make her open up.

 

Rachel was saved with having to answer the question when the front door opened and her father walked in. "Daddy!" She grinned and quickly made her away around the couch to her father where she was pulled into a tight hug.

 

"Well this is a surprise!" Jim grinned, hugging his daughter. "We weren't expecting you for a couple weeks yet."

 

Diane stared after her husband and daughter as Rachel pulled him from the room and out the back door where they were lost in conversation about gardening. It was a topic her daughter knew Jim could go on for hours about. It was a ploy to get away from her mother. It might have worked for now, but Diane wasn't about to let it go. There was something going on with her daughter and she was going to find out what.

 

*~*

 

"Alright," Jimmy said with a sigh. He stopped playing the chords on the piano and turned around on the bench to face the room. From the moment he arrived at JC's he knew something was wrong, but JC just brushed him off giving excuses on how he couldn't wait to get started. Jimmy knew better. This wasn't excitement over sitting down and cranking out a song. It wasn't even excitement over finally finishing up working with someone you didn't like. JC's head wasn't in the game and it showed.

 

"What?" JC looked up from the paper on the table in front of him. His guitar sat on his knee and he was leaned over it. The writing process wasn't moving as fast as he wanted. When it stalled, he and Jimmy decided to work out some melodies for it, hoping it would jump start their brain and they'd be able to finish. So far it hadn't worked.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"I told you, nothing." JC refused to meet Jimmy's eyes. He started humming the melody he was thinking for the line in the song as he tried to come up with the next line. It was an attempt to steer the conversation back to music and away from his issue. The issue being Rachel hadn't come home the night before. She had yet to make an appearance and the clock had already ticked into the late afternoon hour. His phone hadn't been silent all day, but it was never her name that popped up. Each time it would ring or jingle with a text message he grabbed it in hopes that it was Rachel. Disappointment set in each time. It was never her. He was starting to get worried.

 

"As I told you before, I don't believe it," Jimmy said, sparing a glance in Addison's direction. She was in her usual position - next to JC on the couch. ‘Any closer she would be in his lap.' The voice in his head sounded exactly like Rachel and he fought against the smile that threatened. Addison had apparently decided to step up her game in an attempt to go out with him. That paired with JC being distracted spelled doom for their writing session. Jimmy wanted to just throw in the towel for the day and try again later but he knew how much JC wanted their work with Addison to be over. He couldn't blame the man. There were times when he was uncomfortable watching the woman blatantly hit on JC.  "You worried about the group?"

 

"No," JC said, reading through the lyrics on the sheet. He was able to read the words, but they didn't penetrate. The only thing on his mind was Rachel. It consumed him.

 

"You worried about the show?" Jimmy was happy for his friend when he found out he had gotten the part in Jesus Christ Superstar. He couldn't wait to see the show when it came to town. He'd been present in the studio when Matt was helping JC with the songs. Wishing JC good luck when he left for New Orleans seemed redundant. His friend was going to knock it out of the park. When the reviews start pouring in about the show, he was just gonna sit back and grin as everyone fawned over JC and wonder why they slept on him.

 

JC shook his head. He was excited to start rehearsal for the show. He couldn't wait to get to New Orleans and begin rehearsals. It sort of felt weird to him to be going back on the road after so many years but he was looking forward to it. Bus life again.

 

"Why don't we just call it a day?" Addison said, closing the notebook and sitting it down on the coffee table. She patted JC's denim clad thigh, thinking about how she couldn't wait to have a say in his wardrobe. She was over the black jeans and black t-shirt look. First thing she wanted to do when they started dating was go in to his closet and toss out everything. Well, the first thing she'd do was toss Rachel out on her ear if she was still living at the house. Then she would toss his clothes out. "There's this new place that just opened over on Ventura, why don't we go and grab a late lunch?"

 

Jimmy stared at JC. He saw something flash across his face but it was gone before he could decipher. He frowned. There was something clearly bothering JC. He wasn't sure why JC wouldn't tell him. The frown deepened when he saw Addison's hand rest on JC's leg. "Hey! That sounds like a great idea!" He clapped his hands together, putting a wide grin on his face. He saw JC's bewildered look and grinned harder. "We'll take my car. I'll even buy."

                           

Jimmy wasn't sure whose face made him want to laugh harder: JC's panicked one or Addison's irritated one. He knew the invitation to that late lunch didn't include him. It was another ploy to get JC to go out with her. He wondered what JC would have to do to get it through Addison's head that he wasn't going to go out with her. He was banking on Addison rescinding the offer and he nearly laughed out loud when she quickly spoke up.

 

"Oh, I can't do lunch," Addison said looking at her watch. "I have another engagement."

 

"Oh," Jimmy frowned. "Maybe some other time." He winked at JC when Addison started gathering her things.

 

"Yeah." Addison said as she stood and shouldered her bag. The day was not going like she had planned. When she arrived at JC's house, she was happy not to see a sign of Rachel even being there. She expected to be a sounding board while JC tried to figure out what was going on. Matt didn't know what he was talking about. No way would Rachel have confronted JC with the voicemail demanding an explanation. Addison knew what buttons to push on the woman. She knew exactly what that voicemail would have done. Rachel was running.

 

The afternoon was a bust. JC didn't have his head in the game at all. She expected that. She'd give him the day to mourn the loss of his friendship, then she'd start turning up the heat.

 

"Thanks man," JC said when the door closed behind Addison.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

 

"It's nothing. Sorry for ruining today. I really wanted to get this done."

 

"You can't lie for shit." Jimmy watched JC checked his phone. He noticed JC doing that a lot throughout the day. After each check, the frown lines on his forehead would deepened. "Who are you expecting a phone call from? Is something going on? Your family? The show?"

 

JC sighed and his hands over his face. "I haven't heard from Rachel since yesterday when I asked her to make that coffee run. She isn't answering my texts. She's not answering my calls and she didn't come home last night."

 

"JC..."

 

"I know it sounds stupid. I'm not her keeper, she can do what she wants. But she's never done this before. Just go completely silent on me."

 

"What did you do man?"

 

"I didn't do anything!" JC exclaimed, his voice raising. "I asked for coffee, it was a joke."

 

"Hey man, calm down." Jimmy said, the smile falling from his face. JC was really spun up about Rachel ignoring him. "Do you want me to send her a text? See if I can get ahold of her?"

 

JC shook his head a sighed. "Nah. I'm sure she'll be home soon."

 

"Are you sure?" Jimmy asked and watched as JC nodded, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Alright man. I'll be over tomorrow same time."

 

"Yeah, I'll see ya then." JC walked Jimmy to the door. "I'll get my head screwed on right."

 

"You better or you'll never get rid of Addison."

"Something's going on."

 

"I know," Diane said as she stared out the kitchen window. The fire pit had been a gift from her children for her anniversary a few years back. It extended off their existing patio. The fire pit itself was made of big stones of different shapes and sizes. It was two feet high. Half the circle was surrounded by four conversation chairs made of eucalyptus with a brown finish. The cushions were are a cream color. A curved bench seat that matched the stone fire pit with a smooth concrete slab on top took up the rest of the circle around the fire pit. Since the project had been finished, she and Jim had spent many nights sitting by the fire when the weather permitted.

 

Rachel currently occupied one of the middle chairs. Her feet were tucked beneath her. A glass of sweet iced tea sat on the ring around the fire pit. On her lap was a sketch pad. The sketch pad was never far from her daughter's reach. From the moment she arrived yesterday Rachel spent a lot of her time with her head buried in the pages, her pencil swiftly moving back and forth. What she was drawing remained a mystery. Rachel never offered up a peek of what she was working on.

 

"You haven't figured it out yet?" Stacy looked at her mom, a bemused look on her face. "Losing your touch?"

 

Diane sent Stacy a look that only caused her oldest daughter's smile to get bigger. "She's been able to stay one step ahead of me."

 

"Any idea what it is?" Stacy asked, looking back out the window at her sister. She watched Rachel raise a hand and brush it against her cheek and her heart clenched. "She's crying."

 

"Yeah," Diane said softly.

 

"You're not going to go to her?"

 

Diane shook her head. "She shuts me out."

 

"How long are you going to let this go on before you force her to tell you what's wrong?"

 

Diane opened her mouth to reply but the ringing of the phone stopped her response. Moving to the phone on the counter, she lifted the receiver from its base. "It's Lance," she told Stacy and pressed the talk button. "Hello?"

 

"Mom, have you heard from Rachel?"

 

"What do you mean have I heard from Rachel?" Diane's eyes met Stacy's.

 

"She's gone Mom." Lance's voice was frantic. "JC hasn't seen her since Wednesday morning. She's not answering anyone's calls or texts. Her car is gone. I'm about ready to go to the police. Jesus, what if something happened? It's been 48 hours! We may be too late..."

 

"Lance," Diane said, but her son just steam rolled over her. "Lance!" She shouted into the phone. It fell silent on Lance's end. "Rachel's here."

 

"What?" Lance asked frozen. He had been pacing back and forth in his living room. His mother's words caused him to pull up short. "What do you mean Rachel is there? In Mississippi?" His eyes met JC's who collapsed against the back of the couch. The relief evident on his face.

 

"She showed up Thursday morning. Said she got in late Wednesday, spent the night at a hotel in Jackson before coming here," Diane explained. "You didn't know she left LA?"

 

"That's impossible," Stacy said, listening to her mother's side of the conversation. "Rachel tells Lance everything. If not Lance then JC..." her words petered off when Diane shook her head.

 

"Mom, I haven't spoken to Rachel in a couple of days. I just thought she was busy with getting ready to leave for New Orleans in a week. I didn't know anything was wrong until JC came to me just now. We called everyone who might know where Rachel was, no one has heard from her."

 

"Then you don't know what's wrong?"

 

"No I don't know what's wrong." Lance pinched the bridge of his nose to try and ward off the headache he felt brewing. His heart had been lodged in his throat the moment he opened his front door and saw a disheveled JC on the other side. His concern only grew when he tried to contact his sister only to receive no response as well. Even Michael had gotten nowhere. "You haven't figured it out yet?"

 

"I'm not a miracle worker contrary to what you and your sister think."

 

"You always find out what's wrong and Rachel's the easiest one to crack."

 

"Not this time I'm afraid."

 

Lance sighed and rubbed his face with his free hand. "Have you been able to find out anything?"

 

"No Lance. Whatever happened to send her here, she's keeping pretty close to the chest. She's putting up a front, but we all see through it. I didn't even know she wasn't talking to anyone in California. Come to think of it," Diane paused in thought. "I haven't even seen her with a phone."

 

"Can I talk to her?" Lance finally asked.

 

"Yeah, just let me walk outside." Diane told her son. "She's been sitting outside at the fire pit for hours now. Just drawing in the sketch pad of hers."

 

"What's she drawing? Maybe that will offer a clue." Lance asked him mother before turning the phone away from his mouth to address JC. "Mom's taking the phone to her. She's sitting outside."

 

"She won't show anyone." Diane said and walked outside, shutting the door behind her. "Rachel?" She called. It took everything she had not to barge up to her daughter in hopes to catch her off guard before the walls could be erected.

 

"Yeah?" Rachel quickly flipped the book shut and looked over her shoulder as Diane approached. She paled seeing the phone in her hand. Her heart started to pound in her chest and her hand tightened into a fist, hard enough for her nails to dig in to her skin.

 

"Lance is on the phone." Diane took in Rachel's appearance. Her eyes were red rimmed and shinning with unshed tears. They darted around the yard looking for an escape. She pursed her lips and held the phone out watching as Rachel stared at the device like it was a bomb seconds away from exploding.

 

Rachel knew she had to take the phone call. If she didn't accept the call from Lance, there was no way she was getting out of the backyard without her mother going full on interrogator. Slowly she reached her arm up and took the phone from her mother. "Hey Lance..." she tried to force as much cheer as she could in to her voice. After all, it wasn't Lance she was upset with.

 

"What the hell is the matter with you!" Lance exploded when he heard Rachel's voice. "Do you have any idea the hell you put me through? You were gone! No one has seen you. No one has heard from you. You weren't answering your phone. I thought something bad had happened! If mom hadn't said you were there, I was going to police!"

 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, hearing the hurt and anger in her brother's voice. She hadn't let herself think about what her actions would cause. Her brain was telling her to run. It was drowning out every single other voice in her head. The plan hadn't been to ignore everyone. The only one she wanted to ignore was JC, but she had been too scared to look at her phone knowing there would be a lot of messages and missed calls from him. She wasn't ready to hear his voice.

 

"You're sorry?" Lance asked incredulously. "What the fuck happened that made you just up and fly to Mississippi?"

 

"I needed to get away." She cringed hearing Lance swear at her response.

 

"Cut the fucking bullshit. You know damn well I don't believe you. You know you can't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong? What happened?" The final question came out as a plea.

 

"I can't. Not right now. I'm sorry." She apologized again.

 

Lance sighed and rubbed a hand over his face again. He looked up when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and saw JC standing next to him. There were a million questions on his face. Lance didn't have an answer to a single one. "Fine. When are you coming back? Are you just gonna meet JC in New Orleans?"

 

"I don't know," Rachel said softly.

 

"What do you mean you don't know!" Lance's voice rose again, his gaze locking on JC's. "What kind of answer is that?"

 

"It's the only one I can give right now Lance."

 

Lance rubbed his temples. The headache he had been trying to hold off had exploded full force. It pounded behind his eyes.

 

"Can I talk?" JC asked, his eyes almost pleading with Lance's. It had been a huge relief to find out that Rachel was safe and sound albeit in Mississippi, but safe and sound nonetheless. Listening to the one sided conversation was killing him. He had so many questions. What had happened to make Rachel run to Mississippi? Why hadn't she come to him? He had always been her go to guy when there was something going on in her life. She had bypassed him completely. She had bypassed everyone completely. Him. Lance. Michael. Melissa. Renee. He spoke to every single person in their inner circle of friends. She hadn't contacted any of them. Now she wasn't even sure if she was coming back to California? She wasn't sure if she was meeting him in New Orleans in a week?

 

"Yeah," Lance sighed again and handed JC his cell phone. With both hands now free he used his fingers to massage his temples, pressing hard.

 

"Rachel listen, I..." JC frowned at the noise over the speaker. It sounded almost like an aborted sob before the line cut off. He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the display. The words ‘Call Ended" stared back at him. He spared a look at Lance before tapping the call button. He listened through the rings. Each ring caused the pit in his stomach to grow wider and wider. When the voicemail kicked on, he hung up and tried again.

 

"Lance I don't know what happened," Diane said in lieu of hello. She stared toward the house where Rachel had disappeared. She herself had been halfway through the kitchen door when the ringing of the phone got her attention. By the time she got back to the fire pit, the ringing had stopped only to start again. "She just hung up the phone abruptly and ran into the house crying. I'm sorry."

 

JC couldn't make his mouth work. He couldn't force words out. Rachel had hung up on him. Him. Not Lance. Him.

 

"Lance honey, are you there?"

 

JC coughed, clearing his throat. "It's JC, Mrs. Bass. Uhm, here's Lance." He shoved the phone into Lance's hands unable to meet his eyes. "I gotta go."

 

Lance stared after JC confused. What had just happened?

 

"Lance are you there? JC? Hello? What's going on?"

 

"It's me Mom," Lance said into the phone hearing the front door shut. A few minutes later a car started and tires screeched. "I think I may have found a clue."

 

*~*

 

JC slammed the door to his house. His mind had been going a mile a minute ever since Diane had told him Rachel had hung up the phone. Why had she hung up on him? Rachel had talked to Lance with no issues, but the moment he got on the phone... Three words. He had spoken three words to Rachel and those had caused her to not only hang up the phone, but to run into the house crying. Why?

 

In the living room he paced back and forth as he racked his brain trying to figure out what was going on. Whatever it was had to be huge to make Rachel run to Mississippi. In all the years she had worked for him, he couldn't remember a time when she chose not to come to him about anything. Even if it had been something he didn't want to hear, she came to him. Now... now that had changed. Not only did she not come to him, she left.

 

It centered around him. He was at a complete loss. There had been nothing going on between them that would cause something like this to happen. Things had been fine between them. Great even. Their friendship was solid as it ever had been. His life was getting a little more hectic with the Broadway show approaching. Not only did he have the show happening over the summer, but he had been in the studio. He was providing vocals on a track for Smokey Robinson's latest album as well has providing vocals on the Blues Traveler's latest CD. There was also the producing he was doing. Rachel had been kept busy, busier than she had been previously. There had not been an issue. In fact, Rachel had told him to take on more projects.

 

JC sighed and sat down on the couch. He ran his hands over his face and rested his elbows on his knees, holding his face in his hands. Opening his eyes he saw one of Rachel's hair ties on the floor at his feet. Staring at it, he tried to think about the previous days leading up to when Rachel had left. Nothing stood out. They were ordinary days. The night before she left, he'd been practicing lines. Rachel had tried to help. They hadn't gotten very far. Rachel had been absolutely terrible. He hadn't been able to keep a straight face listening to her dramatic and over the top readings.

 

After they gathered themselves, they had decided to go out for burgers had a dive joint tucked away from the crowds that only the locals knew about. When they had gotten back to the house, Rachel had made him sit through a terrible movie that had been playing on Lifetime. He had sat at one end of the couch providing commentary, while Rachel had laid at the other end, her feet on his lap. When he'd say something not particularly funny, she'd poke him in the thigh with her toe. It hadn't taken him long to grab hold of her feet and start tickling them until she was begging for mercy.

 

Did she know his feelings? Had JC given them away? It wasn't as if he had done a good job at hiding them. Friends didn't have tickle wars on the couch. He never had them with any of his other female friends. He didn't do them with any of his male friends. Friends also didn't cuddle on the couch under the same blanket. He and Rachel did that a lot. Maybe she had figured it out

 

Did he chase Rachel away? Did she figure out his feelings for her? If she did, why couldn't she just talk to him? She could have come to him and let him know she didn't feel the same. Sure it would have hurt, but he would have been able to move on. Eventually. He could have shut the door on the possibility of ‘them' and started looking for someone he could spend his life with elsewhere.

 

JC wasn't sure it was possible to find another person who fit him more perfectly than Rachel did. They meshed well together. She understood him better than anyone else ever did or ever could. Without having to tell her a thing, she could read his emotions or pick up something in his tone. Sometimes all he would have to do is send her a look and she'd know exactly what he was thinking and do it.

 

She didn't know if she was coming back to California. She didn't know if she was going to meet him in New Orleans. Lifting his head from his hands, JC looked around the house. What if that meant Rachel was moving out? It hurt him to think about how empty his house would be if Rachel was gone. It was already lonely enough without her there. How was it going to feel when all her things were gone?

 

JC pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at his text messages. There were plenty of messages sent to Rachel, but the last message she sent him struck a chord.

 

‘Bye JC.'

 

When he had received the text in the studio he laughed. He had expected no less from her when he had asked her to make a coffee run. It had been in jest and he had made a coffee run himself ten minutes later. He'd been teasing her, hoping to get her riled up. It pleased him when she would get wound up and go off on him. A lot of times he did it on purpose. He'd make a comment and sit back and enjoy.

 

Now JC looked at the message differently. Had that been the moment Rachel had decided to go to Mississippi? Had that been the moment she had run? Did she send that text not as ‘God you're an idiot and I can't deal with you right now' but as an honest to goodness ‘Goodbye' with a finality to it? Had he brushed it off without knowing exactly what was going on?

 

Maybe he should have interrupted her that morning while she had been working. If he had interrupted her, maybe he could have picked up on something that would have alerted him. Then he would have been able to try and work it out with her. He would have told Jimmy to begin without him. He would have stayed home and worked out whatever needed to be worked out. But he hadn't. He had stood behind her and watched her work thinking inappropriate thoughts.

 

Walking over the DVDs, JC ran his finger across the spine until he came to the one he wanted. Pulling the Star Wars DVD from its spot, a pink envelope came with it. Rachel's name was scrawled across the middle in his chicken scratch handwriting. He wondered if he would have a chance to give it to her. The party was a week from tomorrow. As of right now, it wasn't looking good for Rachel to be in attendance. Depending on what Rachel would tell Lance, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to be in attendance. Going to Europe with Rachel wasn't looking too promising either. How could he fix this? Where did he even begin to try when he didn't even know what was wrong to begin with? How could he fix it when Rachel wouldn't even talk to him?

"You should put something on the wall," Rachel said Monday morning, staring at the side wall of Stacy's business. Stacy owned a bakery where she made custom cakes for all occasions as well cookies and cupcakes. She also hosted birthday parties for kids where the kids all got to decorate their own personal cake.

 

"I do have something on that wall," Stacy said as she added a couple new photos of the cakes she had just finished to the book on the counter. Each time she made a cake, she would take a photo and add it to the binder for customers to look at when they needed help with ideas. Most times her customers came in with an idea in mind. Sometimes they needed a little help to bring it all together. "A picture."

 

"Let me paint a picture for you."

 

Stacy looked up from the binder, staring at her sister. Rachel had such a hopeful look on her face that she couldn't find it in her to say no. "Okay," she said. When Rachel sent her a huge grin, Stacy felt her heart lighten. It had been the first smile she had seen on her sister's face since she showed up in Mississippi. "No funny business though. You make me a fire breathing dragon again, Mom won't be able to save you this time."

 

Rachel laughed as the memory surfaced. Teenager Stacy had been hard to live with. She was stubborn and assertive. Mostly downright bitchy. After a particular bad day, Rachel had drawn a caricature of her sister as a dragon with fire coming out of her mouth. Stacy had crumbled it up and chased her around the house before Diane had stepped in to diffuse the situation. "No fire breathing dragon. Maybe Cruella..." She giggled at Stacy's side eye and reached into her shoulder bag and withdrew her sketch book. At a small table she took a seat and flipped passed the many pages of sketches until she reached a blank page and began to draw.

 

Stacy watched her sister for a few minutes before going back at the task at hand. When the phone rang she answered and took an order for a customer. She couldn't keep the mirth out of her voice as she took down the details for the custom cookies and the cake. When she hung up the phone she started laughing.

 

"What's so funny?"

 

"I just got an order for 48 cookies and a cake."

 

"How is that funny?" Rachel asked, not looking up from her sketch pad as she worked on Stacy's face in caricature form.

 

"It's for a divorce party. You should have heard what the ideas for the sayings on the cookies." Stacy chuckled. "Ding dong the prick is gone."

 

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "Don't let Mom see that one." She continued with her drawing while Stacy went back to working out the details for the order. They both worked in silence. Rachel on her drawing and Stacy sketching out the shape of the cookies and how they were going to be decorated with the words the customer wanted.

 

When the phone rang again, Stacy put her pencil down and reached for it, pulling her order pad back to her. "Dream Cakes, this is Stacy, how many I help you?"

 

"How is my favorite sister?"

 

Stacy laughed at Lance's words. "You know very well I am not your favorite."

 

"Well you didn't drop off the face of the earth for two days and nearly give me a heart attack." Lance pointed out.

 

"This is true." Stacy looked up at Rachel, who seemed to be lost in her drawing. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

 

"I can't just call and talk to you?" Stacy remained silent and Lance sighed. "Yeah. Mom told me Rachel was with you."

 

"Yeah, she's here. She thinks I need a new picture for the wall so she's drawing one."

"I can't wait to see," Lance laughed. "Maybe a picture of you baking the cake with the fire coming out of your mouth."

 

"And here I was gonna send you some Dream Puffs for your birthday," Stacy said dryly. "Guess I can cross that off my list of things to make today."

 

"Oh no no no no," Lance pleaded. He lived for the caramel snacks that his sister baked. They tasted just like caramel popcorn but a thousand times better. "You gotta send me some!"

 

"The biggest container I can find." Stacy said, giving in. "So did you need something?"

 

"I just wanted to find out how Rachel is doing. I called to talk to her."

 

"I knew you didn't call to talk to me," Stacy teased as she walked around the counter. "Rachel?"

"Yeah?" Rachel asked looking up. She eyeballed the phone in Stacy's hand.

 

"It's not going to bite," Stacy said shaking the phone in front of her sister. "It's Lance."

 

"Oh," she took the phone from her sister and put it between her ear and shoulder and went back to drawing. "Hello?"

"You plan on answering your phone ever again?" Lance said in lieu of hello. "Your voicemail is now full."

 

"It's been kind of nice to not have it attached to me."

 

"That would be nice and all if you would at least check it once in awhile. What if I needed to get ahold of you for something important like I needed a kidney or part of your liver?"

 

"Then you call mom or Stacy...my secretaries."  She smiled hearing the deep chuckle in her ear.

 

"Careful Sis, you're within striking distance of Stacy. So..." Lance paused. "You gonna tell me what is going on?"

 

"I told you yesterday Lance..."

 

"You told me nothing yesterday," Lance cut in. "You told me you needed to get away but that was a lie. You don't know if you're coming back. Then you hang up on JC." He sighed. "Rach, you have him all out of sorts. I wouldn't be surprised if he's the reason your voicemail is full."

 

That was the reason Rachel hadn't dug her phone out of her bag. She was sure the battery was dead by now but she couldn't bring herself to charge it knowing there would be a lot of messages from JC waiting for her. Just hearing his voice for a split second had caused her stomach to flip and she lost the hold she had on her emotions.

 

"You wanna tell me what he did?"

 

"He didn't do anything Lance."

 

Lance sighed. "You know you can't lie to me. I don't know why you keep trying."

 

"It's nothing."

 

"It's not nothing," Lance snapped. "You just up and leave. You shut everyone out. You won't talk to us, you won't tell us what's going on. You won't let us help. You say you don't know if you're coming back home. You don't know if you're going to New Orleans...what is going on in that head of yours? What are you thinking?"

 

"I'm thinking it might be time for a change."

 

The words brought Lance up short. It knocked all the words he had been ready to say out of his head. Stacy paused and stared at her sister, her jaw slackened with shock.

 

"What?" Lance questioned. "What do you mean you think it's time for a change?"

 

"Exactly what you think I mean, Lance," Rachel sighed.

 

"You're moving back to Mississippi?" Lance asked. "You're quitting? You're actually going to quit your job? After all this time? Rachel..."

 

"I think it's time."

 

"Last week you were excited about going to New Orleans and hitting the road this summer and now all of a sudden you're telling me you're just gonna up and quit? You still wanna tell me nothing is wrong? Have you told JC this?" He waited for Rachel to answer him, but she remained silent. "Of course you haven't. You're just gonna leave him out here floundering. How can you tell me nothing is wrong? He's called me every day asking if I've talked to you."

 

"Just leave it alone Lance." Rachel sighed rubbing her face. "Please."

 

Stacy moved to her sister when she hung up the phone and buried her head in her hands. She placed a hand on her back, feeling Rachel's shoulders start to shake. Stacy pulled the other chair around the table and took a seat so she could wrap her arm around Rachel. "I don't know why I didn't see it before," she said as Rachel cried. She hugged Rachel to her and leaned her head against her sister's. "You're nursing a broken heart. JC broke your heart."

 

Rachel shook her head and pulled away from Stacy. "No." She quickly stood up and moved from the table heading to the door.

 

"Rachel..." Stacy called, but it was too late. Rachel was already out the front door and climbing in her rental car. She sighed watching the car pull away and turned around. Her eyes caught sight of the business phone on the table Rachel had occupied. It wasn't the only thing. Rachel's sketchbook sat there as well. With a look over her shoulder to make sure Rachel was gone, she moved to the table and moved the phone to the side revealing the photo Rachel had been working on before Lance called. A smile formed on her face seeing herself in caricature form. One hand was on her hip and the other hand was bent up by her head like she was a waitress. Her hand was empty. Rachel hadn't completed the drawing yet.

 

Stacy looked over her shoulder again, but the parking lot remained empty. Rachel hadn't realized she'd forgotten the sketchpad yet. She lifted it up and turned the page to look at the previous drawing. She smiled seeing a picture of Leighton sitting on the swing that sat on her parent's front porch. It took everything she had not to tear the photo from the pad and take it home with her. Turning the page again, she saw a sketch of their parents, sitting on the same porch swing. Her parents were shoulder to shoulder, their heads titled together, their hands clasped between them. The page before had a sketch of Lance and Michael sitting on the same swing. Then there was a sketch of her and Ford. The detail in each sketch was amazing. It had to have taken her hours to draw each photo which meant she hadn't been sleeping.

 

She was almost afraid to turn the page back to see what was next. When she did, her heart hurt. There was Rachel sitting on the porch swing all alone. Whereas everyone's faces had shown happiness and love, Rachel's face was full of sadness. There was a darkness about the sketch that hadn't been on the others. Full of trepidation Stacy flipped the page again. The photo on the next page caused her heart to break.

 

On the page there were three couples embracing. It almost looked as if they were dancing. She recognized Lance and Michael as one couple. Upon further inspection she discovered she and Ford were one of the couples and her parents were the other. All three of the couples were framed by a window angled on the page. Rachel had drawn a profile of herself in front of the window, showing herself looking out; her hand raised as if she could touch the dancing couples. Stacy could see the sadness and longing on her sister's face.

 

"What did you do JC?" Stacy whispered.

 

*~*

 

Rachel grabbed her phone and its charger from the bag sitting on top of the dresser. Finding the outlet behind the bedside table, she sat back down on the bed and plugged the phone in. She waited a few seconds and blew out a breath before holding down the button on the side of the phone. The device lit up showing the apple on the screen. When it was completely loaded, Rachel saw the red battery sign. Her phone then exploded with notification after notification. Red notification balloon popped up on her phone icon signaling missed calls and voicemails. Another balloon popped up on her message icon as well of her mail, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Each balloon was filled with a big number telling her how many unread messages she had.

 

Her heart was heavy and there was a lump in her throat that was making it hard for her to breath. Tapping the phone icon first she looked through the missed calls. JC must have called her at least two dozen times. There was a point in the scrolling that it was only his name on the screen. She saw missed calls from Lance, Michael, Jimmy, Matt, Renee, and Melissa. Opening up her voicemail, she was happy that she could see who had left one and decide if she wanted to hear them or not. Going down the list she erased all the messages JC had left. She wasn't strong enough to listen to those messages. With JC's messages gone, she saw voicemails from Melissa, Lance, Michael, Jimmy, Renee, and a few other people. There were a few messages from people who weren't in her cell phone.

 

"What the fuck happened!" Melissa's voice came through as Rachel listened to her voicemail. "Where the hell did you take off to and why the hell didn't you tell me you were leaving? Why didn't you come to me? What is going on? JC came in over the weekend...Jesus he looks like shit. What happened? Call me!"

 

Rachel deleted the voicemail and went to the next one. "Rachel, its Jimmy." There was a pause in the voicemail. "C's always a little lost when you're gone, but its worse this time. I don't know what's going on but if you need anything, you know Mary and I are here for you.'

 

She almost called Jimmy, but she couldn't take the chance that he was with JC. Opening her text messages she found Jimmy's name and typed out a quick message. ‘You and Mary are the best friends any one can ask for. I love you both.' With the text she had just sent to Jimmy, his name was at the top of the screen but right beneath his name was JC's. The screen allowed her to see the last message sent.

 

‘Please.'

 

She brushed a stray tear from her cheek. And swiped across his name deleting the entire conversation without reading. It didn't take long to move through her messages. They were all the same. She read them to remove the notification, but didn't respond to any. When they were clear, she moved back into her voicemail and listened through them. Most of them were deleted. There were a couple with information regarding New Orleans and Jesus Christ Superstar. She saved those. Without realizing it she moved through all the new voicemails and went in to her old voicemails.

 

‘Ask her out? Hell, I don't even like her!'

 

Rachel gasped and quickly took the phone from her ear. She frantically tapped the stop button not wanting to hear anymore. The screen blurred as her eyes filled with tears. That one line ripped open all the scabs that had been able to build in the six days since she had first heard the words in her ear. It was then she knew what she had to do.

 

With her hand shaking she opened up her e-mail and typed in JC's e-mail address. In the subject line she put URGENT in capital letters. Tapping in the body, she began to type:

 

JC,

 

I am no longer going to be able to be your personal assistant. I'm sorry.

 

Matt rang JC's doorbell and waited. He was worried about his friend. JC hadn't been answering any of his texts since Wednesday. It was now the following Tuesday. Rachel hadn't been responding either. The dread kept building in his stomach as the days passed with no word from either of his friends. Voices coming up behind him caused him to turn around. He steeled his jaw seeing Addison along with Jimmy.

 

"Hey man," Jimmy said as he came to a stop in front of JC's front door.

 

"Hey Jimmy," Matt said, shaking his hand. "Hello Addison."

 

"Matt," Addison grinned and went for a hug.

 

Matt was stuck. He had to hug Addison or Jimmy would ask questions. The last thing Matt wanted or needed was for Addison to make a scene. He was quick to end the hug and look at Jimmy. "Was he expecting you?"

 

"Yeah," Jimmy said and pressed the doorbell. "We're supposed to be finishing up the songs we're working on. C's head hasn't been in the game."

 

"He hasn't been responding to any of my texts. Rachel either. Are they okay?" When he asked the question, he saw Addison smirk out of the corner of his eye.

 

Jimmy sighed and shook his head. "No man. Rachel took off the Mississippi."

 

"What?" Matt asked, his eyes widened.

 

"I don't know man," Jimmy shrugged. "JC has no idea. He went to Lance asking about her. Lance had no clue either. She's been in Mississippi since Wednesday. Not talking to anyone. Ignoring all of JC's text and calls. She's ignoring me. You apparently."

 

Matt swore. He spared a glance at Addison and saw her grinning wildly. His insides were twisted. The door in front of them was still firmly shut. JC hadn't answered. Dread spread.

 

"Yeah," Jimmy looked at the door in front of him. "C's not taking it well. She sent me a text last night first time I heard from her all week. I made the mistake of telling him."

 

"She contact him?

 

Jimmy shook his head. "No." He reached out to pound on the door. "Come on JC," he called through the door.

 

When the door open, Matt was caught off guard. He had never seen his friend looking so haggard. His face was covered in at least a couple days of growth. There were circles under his eyes made more prominent by the paleness of his skin. His eyes were bloodshot. Matt linked that symptom to the high ball glass dangling from his hand.

 

"JC..." Jimmy moved forward, staring at his friend. "What the hell happened man?"

 

"I'm not up for working today," JC said, his words slurring. "You guys should probably finish it on your own."

 

"What's going on, JC?" Matt answering. He could hear the voices in his head mocking him. He knew what was going on. It was his fault. He wanted to confess everything right there.

 

"Going through some shit." JC could barely bring himself to focus on the people at his front door. It had taken everything he had to get up from the chair in the living room to answer the door. He had hoped they would go away when he didn't answer. He hadn't been lucky.

 

"Did you hear from Rachel?" Jimmy asked.

 

JC's laugh sounded hollow. He lifted his hand to take a drink. The ice clinked in the glass. The amber liquid burned on the way down. So far it hadn't numbed the pain. "Yeah. Yeah. She e-mailed me yesterday."

 

Jimmy exchanged looks with Matt. "What did she say?"

 

"She's not coming back."

 

"What!" Jimmy exclaimed. "What do you mean she's not coming back?"

 

"Exactly what I said," JC said. "She quit."

 

"Oh JC," Addison stepped forward. She went to reach for him, but the look he sent her stopped her in her tracks.

 

"What the hell happened?" Matt moved forward, blocking Addison. She may have blackmailed him, but he didn't have to make it easier for her.

 

"The fuck if I know. She just up and left. Won't answer anyone's calls or messages," he broke off, chuckling. Matt's heart twisted at the sound. It wasn't a happy laugh. "Apparently that's not the case. It's just me she's avoiding."

 

"What did you do?"

 

JC stared at Jimmy. His vision blurred in front of him and he blinked trying to bring Jimmy back in to focus and into a single being. "Everyone keeps asking me that. Everyone just assumes that I did something. Do people really think that much of me? Do they really think I'd hurt Rachel of all people?"

 

"No man," Jimmy put his hands up in a defensive manner. "We're all just trying to figure out what's going on. We know Rachel is the last person you'd hurt."

 

"She never told you?"

 

JC looked at Matt. Matt tried to hide the cringe at the almost vacant stare. "Did you not hear? She's not talking to me."

 

Matt bit back the string of curses he wanted to unload. This was not what was supposed to happen. Rachel was supposed to grab JC by the ear and tear him a new one about the voicemail. JC was then supposed to come clean about how the conversation really went and tell Rachel his feelings. This was not how it was supposed to go.

 

"Look, I'm not up for company. So if you'll excuse me..."

 

"What about the song?" Addison called out, desperately trying to get JC to invite them in. She needed to be able to get close to him.

 

"Fucking finish it yourself. I don't fucking care," JC snapped and closed the door on them. Using the wall as a crutch he made his way in to the kitchen where the bottle of liquor sat on the counter. Refilling his glass, he picked it up and stumbled his way back to the chair in the living room. The liquor spilled over the top of his glass and over his hand when he collapsed into the chair. Switching hands, he wiped the soiled hand on his pants before taking a sip.

 

‘I quit.'

 

The whole email had been seventeen words - nineteen if his name and Rachel's name was included. Ten years of friendship had boiled down to an e-mail that spanned two lines on his phone. He'd be furious if he wasn't so lost. And hurt. Rachel talking to Lance, but hanging up when he got on the phone. Rachel sending a text message to Jimmy but ignoring every single one he sent without even reading them.

 

‘She swears nothing is wrong.' Lance had told him on the phone yesterday. That had been before the e-mail had come through. When he still had some sort of hope that Rachel was coming back. Then his phone had beeped with an e-mail. His heart had jumped seeing Rachel's name. He had never moved so fast to open a message before. He wished he hadn't.

 

‘I quit.'

 

She just quit. No explanation. No nothing. He was left with dozens of questions and the only one who could answer them, wasn't speaking to him. Rachel had pulled the rug out from under him. He had known no greater hurt than this one. Not being taken advantage of by Lou. Not the break up of *NSYNC at the hands of Justin. Not even his solo attempt. None of those had come close to what he was feeling right now.

 

*~*

 

"I told you my plan would work," Addison said after Jimmy had driven away. "I knew Rachel would just tuck tail and run. This is better than I had imagined."

 

"Did you see JC?" Matt whirled on her. "Did you see what he looked like? He's completely devastated."

 

"He'll be fine. He'll get over it. I'll be there to help him."

 

"Right. He didn't want you to help him with anything."

 

"He will. He'll get over this stage soon enough."

 

"You completely destroyed him."

 

"You completely destroyed him," Addison pointed out, a finger poking Matt on the chest. "I am the one who is going to sit back and reap the benefits."

 

Matt wanted to dispute Addison's claim but he couldn't. Addison was right. He was the one who destroyed JC. It was his fault that JC was going through this. His and his alone. He had slept with Addison and let himself be blackmailed in to ruining the lives of his friends. "Stay away from him."

 

Addison laughed. "Oh Matt... he's the only one I want." She kissed her fingers and pressed them to Matt's cheek before walking to her own car and driving away leaving Matt standing outside JC's house. Making a quick decision, he pulled his phone out and pulled up his messages. Tapping Rachel's name, he began to type a message.

 

‘I just left your house. C's in a bad place. A real bad place. He doesn't know what's going on. You're hurting him. Please talk to him. I know you can work out whatever happened between the two of you. Don't let it ruin your relationship.'

 

To his surprise, his phone vibrated in his hand almost immediately. He hadn't expected a response.

 

‘Everyone is so concerned about JC and how bad he is hurting. Did it ever occur to anyone that I might be hurting too?'

 

Matt sighed and closed his eyes at the message. He knew she was hurting. And it was all his fault.

 

*~*

 

"That is amazing," Stacy said as she stared at the wall where Rachel had just hung the new drawing. "I love it. It's simply awesome."

 

Rachel smiled at Stacy as she climbed down the ladder. Moving the ladder out of the way, she stood back and stared at the picture with her hands on her hips, critiquing it.

 

"Don't," Stacy warned. "It's perfect the way it is. I wouldn't change a thing." The mock up she had seen in Rachel's sketch pad hadn't done the final product justice. The drawing itself was huge. The caricature of herself was in good taste. It was funny without being over the top. She was holding a serving tray in the air on one hand, holding one of the cakes she had designed for a party last year. Rachel must have found the photo on the business's Instagram page. The background was done to look like the inside of her store; complete with the wall texture and the displace case. "Seriously, how did you finish this already?"

 

Rachel shrugged. She finished it because she didn't sleep Monday night. She had to shut down her phone but she couldn't shut down her brain. She knew the moment JC had read her e-mail. He had started blowing up her phone. He called multiple times in a row. He sent a bunch of text messages. He also emailed. Every time her phone sounded with an alert, her heart broke a little more. The only savior had been the ability to shut off her phone. The silence didn't help. Her heart still continued to break. In order to escape the voices in her head, she ran to the store for the materials she needed for Stacy's picture. It had taken her all night and a little that morning, but she had finished it. Then it had taken a couple hours in Jackson to get it framed.

 

That reminded her of another drawing she needed to get framed. Lance's birthday present was still sitting in JC's house. On the easel where she could look at it. Just waiting for her to take it to a shop to get the frame put on. The party was Saturday - four days away. It didn't look like he was getting his present on time this year either.

 

"I wish you would talk to me," Stacy stared at her sister seeing emotions cross her features. She thought about the sketches she had seen in the notebook. "Let me help."

 

"I'm fine Stacy." Rachel moved away from her sister to the ladder where she collapsed it and carried it to the back. When she came back Stacy was typing on her phone. "I'm glad you like it. I'm gonna take off."

 

"Wait," Stacy called, stopping her sister. She put her phone away from where she had sent the photo to Ford. She walked into the back and into the little office she had and took the sketchpad from the locked drawer. Carrying it out, she saw Rachel's eyes widen when she saw the book. "You left this."

 

Rachel stared at the book, making no move to grab it. She stared at the book then at her sister. She knew the photos that were in the book and she swallowed roughly.

 

"You still want to tell me nothing is wrong?"

 

"You had no right to look at that," Rachel said. "No right."

 

"I had to. You show up unannounced-"

 

"I can't come to visit? This is my home too Stacy."

 

"You show up unannounced, you aren't talking to Lance-"

 

"I'm talking to Lance."

 

"You aren't talking to JC," Stacy saw her sister flinch at the mention of JC. "You keep your phone off so not to have contact with anyone. You know how many times Lance calls me looking for you? He's called me more times in the last week than he's called all year. You're hurting Rachel. I know that. Mom knows that. Dad knows that. We keep waiting for you to come to us and let us help..."

 

"There is nothing you can do," Rachel angrily wiped at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. "There is nothing anyone can do."

 

"How do you know that?" Stacy asked. "You're not giving anyone a chance. Come on," she pleaded. She could see Rachel start to waiver. "I swear if I need to, I will fly to California and punch JC in the face. You just say the word and I'll do it."

 

Rachel felt laughter bubble over at Stacy's words before it changed course and came out as a sob. She felt Stacy's arms wrap around her and she clung to her sister as she cried.

 

"Shhh," Stacy hushed her sister as she held her tight. The cries were causing her own eyes to fill with tears. The sobs were deep and haunting signaling a deep hurt. Her heart broke. "It's okay Rachel. I promise you. It's gonna be okay. What did he do?"

 

Rachel pulled away from her sister and withdrew her phone from her pocket. She brought up the voicemail and hesitantly handed it to Stacy.

 

"What?" Stacy grabbed the phone.

 

"Listen to the voicemail." Rachel whispered and wrapped her arms around her waist in an attempt to offer herself comfort.

 

Stacy pushed play and brought the phone up to her ear and waited. When the voice finally came on, she recognized JC. She listened through it, her lips parting in shock. "How many times have you listened to this?" She asked when the voicemail ended in her ear. "How many times?"

 

"I don't know," Rachel shrugged.

 

"Why was this sent to you? Who sent it to you? Who is he talking to?"

 

"I don't know." Rachel repeated. "I don't know anything."

 

"Why didn't you confront him? You should have been standing at the door when he walked it and threw the phone at his head." Her anger had kicked in. It subsided when she saw new tears fill Rachel's eyes. "Come here," she drew her sister back in to a hug. "I'm so sorry Rachel."

 

"It felt like I was dying," she whispered. "When I heard it. I couldn't believe it... I listened to it again, thinking I misunderstood... but... I loved him Stacy. I love him... And he... he...."

 

"Shhhh," Stacy whispered hugging Rachel tightly. "Shh..."

 

‘I'm gonna kill him.'

"Do you need a kidney or part of my liver?" Rachel asked in lieu of hello after answering Lance's call. She had sent the first four to voicemail.

 

"Is that what it's gonna take to get you to answer my phone call?" Lance questioned. "What if it's too late? What if I needed you to answer my first phone call instead of the fifth? Time is of the essence when it comes to body parts."

 

Rachel rolled her eyes. "So you don't need a body part."

 

"Technically...no," Lance said slowly.

 

"What does that even mean?"

 

"It means our birthday party is Saturday and I'd like you to be there."

 

"Lance..."

 

"It's your party too. Half the people there are going to celebrate you. You want me to blow out the candles of the cake that says ‘Happy Birthday Lance and Rachel'. You know damn well the set up will have your name all over. You want me to walk around with a sharpie and just cross your name out?"

 

"Lance..."

 

"I called JC and told him it would be best if he didn't come," Lance cut in. "You know what he did? Nothing. He just said, ‘yeah' and hung up." It had taken him a long time to work up the courage to even call JC and tell him not to come. The entire time he felt like the world's biggest asshole for uninviting one of his best friends. If he wanted his sister to come, JC couldn't be there.

 

"Lance..."

 

"Come on," he interrupted his sister again. "I want to celebrate together... like we do every year. I bet you don't even have my birthday present." He teased.

 

"It's at the house," Rachel whispered.

 

"No!" Lance gasped. "You actually have my present already? I don't believe it."

 

"I just don't know."

 

"Please," he begged. "It's a Roarin' twenties theme. The theme you wanted. I promise JC won't be at the party. I promise you won't have to see him. You know he's flying out on Sunday anyway. If you're sure this is what you want to do, when he's gone, we'll go over and grab your things and move them to my place. You can use the time to figure out what you want to do."

 

"Alright," Rachel relented. "I'll look for tickets and see if I can fly out tomorrow."

 

*~*

 

Saturday donned and it was a much different day than JC had imagined. He hated the fact that they were flying out on Rachel's birthday leaving them unable to truly celebrate. So he had a small celebration planned for her birthday. He had planned to take her out for brunch at one of her favorite cafés in downtown Los Angeles. There was a movie playing Rachel had talked about wanting to see. He was gonna bite the bullet and take her to the rom com and he was gonna be on his best behavior and try to curb as many jokes and eye rolls as possible. Afterward, when they got back home, he had planned on giving her his present.

 

That's what was supposed to happen.

 

Today was much different though. There was no brunch in Los Angeles. There was no movie. There was no gift giving. There was not even a celebration. At least not for him. He had been uninvited to the party. JC hadn't thought it could get any worse. Then the phone call from Lance had come. JC thought the phone call was going to be something different. He thought Lance was going to offer him insight as to what was going on with Rachel. He hadn't expected Lance to ask him not to show up. What else could he do other than to agree? How could he go to a party when he wasn't welcomed?

 

JC pushed away from the window he's been staring out and moved toward his bedroom. Instead of getting ready for the party like he thought he'd be doing right now, he was getting ready for Jimmy and Addison to come over. Jimmy was supposed to be at the party, but had decided to back out in order to finish the songs. It was going to take everything he had, but he was going to shove Rachel to the back of his mind and finish the songs they were working on. He didn't want the unfinished songs hanging over his head when he left tomorrow. When he came back, he didn't want to have to deal with Addison.

 

Entering his bedroom, he saw his bags sitting next to his dresser. He spent the day packing everything he needed for New Orleans and subsequent tour. It was an early morning flight. He had planned it that way so he and Rachel could have time to go out and celebrate her birthday when they landed. That wouldn't be happening. Instead he planned to meet up with his cast mates when he landed for dinner and drinks. It wasn't what he wanted, but he apparently wasn't going to get what he wanted. He should be used to that by now.

 

The pink envelope laid on top of his dresser. He had removed it from its hiding place a few days ago and placed it in his room. It wasn't in jeopardy of being found by Rachel. She wasn't going to suddenly appear in his room.  He picked the envelope up and tapped it against the dresser. He didn't know when to give it to her. Should he even give it to her? How was he supposed to give it to her? Before he could change his mind, he walked from his room with the card in his hand and down the hall.

 

Rachel's room loomed in front of him. The door was closed and had been since Thursday when he had gone in and searched for information on where she could have been. Since then, the door had been closed and he hadn't stepped foot in it. Now he looked around at all of Rachel's things. The photos on the wall and stuck in the mirror of the vanity. The knick-knacks on the dresser and the vanity, some she had picked up on trips, some he had given her. Her make up laid spilled on the vanity, like she was coming back in a few minutes to sit down and apply it before the party. Her suitcases were still in the closet and JC knew even if Rachel had been there getting ready for the party, her suitcases would have still been in the closet unpacked. She would have been running around after the party trying to pack everything she needed for New Orleans. He would be laying on her bed, watching and laughing. Telling her she should have packed earlier like he had. Eventually, he would have helped her and together they would have gotten her packed and their things loaded into his car. Now though...

 

He sighed and walked in to the room. He stared at the card in his hand at her name scrawled across the front before he laid it down on the vanity. He figured at some point while he was gone for the summer, she would return and find it. Turning around he stared at the room, his heart heavy. He was leaving tomorrow until mid August. When he returned, he was certain the room would be empty. Just like his heart.

 

As JC pulled the door to Rachel's room shut he heard the front door closing. He frowned. He was only expecting Jimmy and Addison. Very rarely did Jimmy walk into his house when he had Addison in tow. He moved slowly down the hall and down the stairs. When he got to the bottom step, his heart caught seeing Rachel coming toward him.

 

"Rachel..."

 

"JC..." Rachel froze seeing JC staring at her. Her heart lodged in her throat and all she could do was stare. There was about a week's worth of facial hair on his face like he hadn't shaved since she left. She was certain he lost weight. The sweat pants he wore hung more than they usually did. She swallowed roughly.

 

"I...I didn't know you were coming." JC finally said.

 

"I need my costume for the party," Rachel said softly. "I'll only be a few minutes." Her heart had stopped when she realized the costume she planned to wear for the party was hanging in her room at JC's. Lance had offered to get it for her, but she told him she could do it. The whole way over she hoped that JC wasn't home. She could slip in, grab it, and be gone with him being none-the-wiser.

 

"Can we talk?" JC asked when she moved around him and made her way toward the stairs.

 

"I don't think that's a good idea," Rachel said softly.

 

"Rachel-" JC started but was cut off when the doorbell rang.

 

"You better get that," Rachel said and ran up the stairs.

 

"Damnit," JC breathed and moved toward the door. He swung it open seeing Matt on the other side. "Now isn't a good time."

 

"I know, but there's something I got to tell you," Matt said and walked in to JC's house without an invite.

 

"Can't it wait?" JC sighed and closed the door. He glanced toward the stairs, hearing Rachel moving around.

 

"No. You leave tomorrow. I need to tell you this. It can't wait."

 

"Matt, you don't understand. Rachel is-"

 

"You don't understand JC," Matt interrupted. "I know what's going on with Rachel and it's my fault. I didn't know this would happen."

 

"What are you talking about?" JC asked finally turning his attention to Matt. "What's going on with her and how is it your fault?"

 

"You remember that night we went out to dinner because you were hiding from Rachel?"

 

"I wasn't hiding from her."

 

"You remember what we talked about?"

 

JC nodded, his heart hammering. That was the night he finally told someone about his feelings for Rachel.

 

"I was recording it-"

 

"What? Why?" JC asked confused. If Matt recorded that conversation... He paled. If Matt recorded the conversation and Rachel heard. "You let her hear it? Is that what happened? You told her about my feelings for her?" Was that why Rachel left? She knew about his feelings for her and didn't feel the same way. The pain was back in his heart and he couldn't stop himself from rubbing his chest against the pain.

 

"No," Matt shook his head. "I didn't tell her that you love her. I manipulated the audio..."

 

"You what?" JC whispered, staring at Matt. "What did you do?"

 

"I manipulated the conversation. I moved phrases around making it seem like you loved Addison and were going to ask her out, while making it seem like you hated Rachel and couldn't wait for her to be gone. I left it as a voicemail on her phone."

 

JC couldn't comprehend was Matt was telling him. He shook his head. "You did what?"

 

"When I asked you about Addison? I moved the audio around to make it look like you were talking about Rachel instead."

 

JC opened and shut his mouth a few times, trying to form words. "What in the world made you do this? What possessed you to do this? Do you have any idea what you've done?" He remembered the words he had used when he talked about Addison. To think Rachel thought he was talking about her...

 

Matt nodded. He looked thrashed. "I fucked up JC. I fucked up. I got drunk and slept with Addison. She was gonna tell Renee unless I helped her."

 

"Help her do what?"

 

"Get Rachel out of the picture so she could make a move on you."

 

"I can't fucking believe it," JC felt his temper build and boil over. "Did you really think that Rachel leaving would make me just jump into bed with someone?"

 

"I didn't know she would leave, JC. I thought she would be waiting and confront you about it. Once you heard it, you'd know it was a fake and you'd know how the conversation went. I thought it would backfire on her. I didn't know Rachel would leave. I didn't know..."

 

"Instead of fessing up to your wife that you cheated on her, you thought it would be okay to mess with my relationship with Rachel? If it saved your marriage it would be okay? Do you even know what this has done to me? Did you even care? Jesus Matt, I've been at a complete loss over here. You know what she means to me. I spent five days piss drunk, floundering unable to cope. This whole time...this whole time you knew what was wrong. This whole time you could have confessed and I could have fixed this."

 

"JC I'm sorry."

 

"You're sorry?" JC yelled. "You're sorry! What does that get me, huh? You think sorry is just going to magically make this all go away? You think Rachel's going to just magically forgive me? You think she'll be able to trust me again?"

 

"What did you do?"

 

JC and Matt whirled around at the voice. Addison stood in the door way with Jimmy.

 

"We heard the yelling," Jimmy explained. "I didn't know what was going on."

 

"What did you do?" Addison ground out, glaring at Matt.

 

"I told." Matt said, meeting Addison's eyes. "I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the lies and seeing my friend like this."

 

"Do you have any idea what you've done!"

 

Matt nodded. "I've made peace with what this might do to me. But I can't do this to my friends. They don't deserve this."

 

"You have ruined everything!"

 

"What is going on down here?" Rachel came down the stairs. "What's with all the yelling?" She stared at the group of people, seeing JC, Jimmy, Matt, and... she swallowed roughly, Addison. "You know... I don't want to know. I'm just gonna grab my things and I'll be gone."

 

"Rachel, wait," JC lunged for her and grabbed her hand, stopping her from retreating.

 

"JC..." Rachel stared at his hand where it clasped around her wrist. "Please don't..."

 

"No, I know what's going on. You can't leave," JC said quickly. He tried to meet her eyes, but she kept them thwarted.

 

"You don't need to explain, JC," Rachel whispered. "It's fine. I'll be fine."

 

"You don't understand." He turned pleading eyes to Matt. He needed to fix this. "Tell her. Tell her what you told me."

 

"Rachel," Matt started. "I know about the voicemail." His words caused Rachel to turn around. "I know about it, because I sent it."

 

"You sent it?" Rachel repeated, her voice soft. "Why... why would you do that to me?"

 

"I had no choice..."

 

"Shut up Matt," Addison growled.

 

"I'm confused." Jimmy said, looking at everyone. "What voicemail?"

 

"Rachel I recorded the conversation that voicemail came from...."

 

"No," Addison said and reached in to her purse withdrawing the gun. She had it for protection. Never thought she'd have to use it in instances like this. Everything was falling apart around her. Her dream of being married to JC was unraveling. Her dream of getting that group back together and writing a song for them that would propel her in to being a top writer was disappearing.

 

"Oh my God," Rachel gasped seeing the gun come out. Her gasped caused everyone to look at Addison.

 

"What are you doing?" Jimmy yelled, his eyes wide. "Put the gun away!"

 

"What the fuck Addison?" Matt's eyes widened as he turned to face Addison.

 

"I told you to keep your mouth shut." Addison leveled the gun at Matt. "All you had to do was keep your mouth shut. You did your part. I wasn't gonna tell Renee. You just had to keep your mouth shut and let me do my thing. You couldn't just keep your mouth shut."

 

"Addison, come on now," JC said, taking a step forward. "You don't want to do this." His heart was beating wildly. It was four on one but they were still outnumbered. The gun could go off at any moment. Someone could get shot and die. A movement to his left caught his attention and he paled. Rachel. He couldn't jeopardize Rachel.

 

"Put the gun away," Jimmy said slowly, raising his hands slowly in an innocent manner. "We can talk about this."

 

"No we can't," Addison said, taking a step away, pointing the gun at Jimmy. "There is nothing to talk about. It's all ruined."

 

"No it's not," JC said, his hands raised as well.

 

Addison laughed. "Like you're gonna give me a chance now. You never even gave me a chance before. She was always right here in the way. She was everywhere. You would never give me a chance as long as she was in the picture."

 

JC felt his heart fill with dread at Addison's words. For the first time, he wished Rachel had stayed gone so she wouldn't be here at this moment.

 

"You couldn't stay gone could you?" Addison said, her eyes finding Rachel. "All you had to do was leave and stay gone. I knew as soon as you heard the voicemail, you'd run. I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. I could see your feelings as plain as day on your face. But you couldn't could you? Here you are again. In the way."

 

"Addison," Rachel gulped.

 

"No!" Addison shouted, swinging her gun to point at Rachel. "You have been in the way from the very beginning. I should have done it this way first. You would have been gone and I wouldn't have to worry about you popping up." Tears were streaming down her face. Her hands shook as she held the gun toward Rachel.

 

"No!" JC eyes widened and he moved at the exact moment Addison pulled the trigger.

 

*present time*

 

"He's in v-tach." The nurse said turning away from the monitor that was beeping quickly.

 

"Charge to 360 and clear." The trauma surgeon said.

 

"Wait," another doctor said, stopping the paddles from coming. "We've got to find the bleeder."

 

"He's going to go in to dfib," the first trauma surgeon said, looking across the table.

 

"We have to find the bleeder," the surgeon said firmly; his gaze unwavering. When the doctor made no move, he looked back down at the patient. "I need more suction." A nurse suctioned the blood. "Where are you?" He whispered to himself.

 

"Another 750 out of the chest tube."

 

"How's it getting up there when he's bleeding here?"

 

"Pressure's dropping. 67 over 42." The nurse said. The cardiac monitor was still beeping rapidly.

 

"Damnit," the doctor said. "Put direct pressure right here."

 

"He's bleeding too quickly."

 

"We need more blood."

 

"We're way behind." The first surgeon watched the machines closely and the second doctor. They didn't have much time left to find the bleeder.

 

"I need more pressure!"

 

"Keep the pressure," the doctor ordered. "I need to tie..."

 

The cardiac monitor sent a continuous beep and the operating room was flourish with movement.

 

"He's in dvip."

 

"He's flatlining."

 

"Clear," the doctor said and removed his hands and instruments from the patient while the defibrillator charged. He grabbed the paddles from the nurse and rubbed them together.

 

"Clear," a nurse said and watched as the doctor put the paddles on the patient's chest. The machine beeped as it sent a jolt into the patient causing the body to arch on the table. The cardiac monitor still gave out a single tone. He was still flatlining.

 

"Lidocaine 100 on the bolus."

 

"Clear."

 

"Clear." The doctor placed the paddles back on the JC's chest sending a shock to his heart once more.

 

"No change," the nurse called watching the cardiac monitor.

 

"300."

 

"Charge."

 

"Clear." The paddles were placed back on JC's chest.

 

"No change."

 

"360."

 

"This isn't working."

 

"Charge" The doctor ordered. "Clear."

 

"Nothing."

 

"Come on," the doctor whispered. "Charge."

 

"Clear."

 

The doctor placed the paddles back on JC's chest and sent another shock. The room breathed a sigh of relief when the monitor started beeping.

 

"He's back."

 

*~*

 

Rachel's elbows rested on her knees. Her head was buried in her hands. The tears had subsided - for now. Lifting her head, she glanced at the clock on the wall. The hours were passing one by one and yet there was no word on JC's condition. Dropping her hands, she noticed her fingernails had blood in the cuticles and beneath the nails. She stared at them; a lump rising in her throat.

 

"Come on," Lance rested his hand on top of Rachel's. "Let's find the bathroom and wash your hands."

 

Rachel shook her head. "I can't leave."

 

"It will only take a couple minutes."

 

"I can't leave Lance. I need to be here."

 

"The bathroom is probably right around the-"

 

"I said no!" Rachel snapped. She pushed up from the chair and moved across the room. She stared out the window to the streets below. Cars were rushing by. The rush hour traffic was thinning out. People had already been home and now they were going out. They were off to celebrate birthdays, engagement, anniversaries, babies. They were off the celebrate Saturday night with friends and families.  This was all happening while her life was falling apart inside the concrete building.

 

She stared down at her hands tinged with JC's blood. The blood she had tried so frantically to keep in his body. Blood that no matter how much she tried, it kept pooling.  It would have taken the ambulance a long time to get to Cedars-Sinai, but it was the best level one trauma center or so it said on a plaque on the wall.

 

Rachel felt the vibration in the pocket of her jeans and she reached for her phone. She paled seeing Karen's number. Her eyes met Lance's across the room and he immediately stood up and moved toward her.

 

"What's wrong?" Lance asked.

 

"It's Karen." Her eyes welled with tears as she stared at her phone screen. "I didn't call her. Oh God, it must be all over the news now. She probably saw some blip on Facebook..."

 

"Calm down." Lance reached out and put his hands on either of Rachel's upper arms. The phone fell silent. "Call her and tell her."

 

"But I don't know anything."

 

"Call her and tell her what you do know. You know it's a lot more than anything that she might have read online."

 

"I don't know if I can..." Rachel whispered. The phone started vibrating in her hand again. Karen.

 

"I'll do it," Lance said, reaching for the phone.

 

"No, she needs to hear it from me." Rachel tapped the button on the phone to answer the call and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath to try to settle her tears before lifting the phone to her ear. "Karen?"

 

"Rachel!" Karen's voice was frantic and Rachel felt the tears fall down her cheeks. "What's going on? I just read..." her voice cracked. "They said JC was shot?"

 

"I'm so sorry Karen," Rachel's bottom lip quivered and she sniffled. "I should have called... I should have..."

 

"It's true? Oh God."

 

"Give me the phone." Lance didn't give Rachel the opportunity to fight him. He took the phone from her hand. "Karen, its Lance. We're sorry we didn't call. JC's still in surgery. We don't have any updates."

 

"What happened Lance? Do we need to come out?"

 

Lance remembered Matt's words. ‘It doesn't look good.' "JC was shot at his house."

 

"At his house? My God, was it a robbery? Rachel's okay?"

 

"No Ma'am, it was someone JC was working with. Rachel wasn't hurt." ‘Thanks to JC,' Lance thought. "He's still in surgery we haven't heard anything yet. I don't...I think you should make arrangements to get out here as soon as possible." At his words, Rachel laid her forehead on his shoulder. He wrapped his free arm around her and held her as she cried.

 

"I'll text Rachel with the flight information as soon as I have it." Karen's voice wobbled.

 

"They are on their way," Lance told Rachel after he hung up the phone. He wrapped both arms around her. "It's gonna be okay, Rachel. He's gonna pull through this."

 

"What's taking them so long?"

 

"I don't know," Lance said truthfully.

 

"This is my fault. If I hadn't been there. If I had just stayed upstairs instead of going to see what the yelling was about...none of this would have happened."

 

"You don't know that. You can't know that. This is not your fault. It's Addison's. She's the one who had the gun. She's the one who took it out and she's the one who decided to shoot at you."

 

"I wished it was me in there. I wish it was me who had been shot because then JC would be okay."

 

"And he'd be sitting in this waiting room an absolute mess waiting for word about you. Not to mention me."

 

"I should call Mom. Let her know," Rachel sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

 

"I'll let her know."

 

"I need to do something Lance. This waiting is killing me."

 

"Go to the bathroom and wash up." Lance held her by the forearms again and ducked his head to meet her eyes. "Please? I promise if the doctor comes out, we will come and get you immediately."

 

When Rachel disappeared into the women's bathroom, Lance sat back down in the chair next to Michael with a sigh. It was his turn to bury his head in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. He felt Michael wrap an arm around his shoulders and lean in to him.

 

"What can I do?" Michael asked softly.

 

"Nothing you can do." When Lance looked at his fiancée, his eyes were red rimmed. "It's up to JC and the doctors."

 

*~*

 

‘What's going on? JC was shot? What the fuck man!'

 

Lance looked down at his phone seeing the text message from Justin. The last thing he had been thinking about from the moment Matt had called him, was informing people what was going on. It was why Karen had found out from the Internet. It was why his Mom had to call and ask what was going on. The rest of his bandmates were no different. His phone hadn't stopped from the moment he had arrived at the hospital.

 

‘It's the middle of the night and my phone is blowing up like crazy. I have no idea what's going on.'

 

Lance thought he knew that Justin was in Europe, but he couldn't remember for sure. All he knew was that Justin was touring. He didn't know where. Nothing mattered to him right now. He was zoned in to Rachel and JC. Anything other than that his mind was blank.

 

‘JC was shot today at his house by a writer he was working with. No one else was hurt. She was arrested. He's still in surgery. There are no updates.'

 

‘Fuck man.' ‘Do I need to cancel and come to California?'

 

Lance was shocked by the message. He hadn't expected that out of Justin. ‘I don't know man. That's your call.'

 

‘What the fuck happened!'

 

Lance sighed at the message from Chris. He wished he had more information to give but he didn't. ‘I'm not entirely sure what happened. Rachel's not talking about it. I only got a little bit from Matthew Morrison.'

 

‘Rachel was there?'

 

‘Yes. She went by the house to grab her costume for the party tonight.'

 

‘She okay? How's she doing?' Joey text. ‘I'm in town. Where are you?'

 

‘Cedar-Sinai. Rachel wasn't hurt, but she had to watch JC get shot and try to stop the bleeding.'

 

‘Jesus Christ.'

 

‘What did Matt say happened?'

 

‘Addison, the woman JC is writing with, pulled a gun on JC, Jimmy, Matt, and Rachel. Matt said she was crazy for JC. Wanted to be with him, but JC wouldn't give her the time of day. Addison was gonna shoot Rachel, but JC pushed her out of the way. When she realized she shot JC, she tried to shoot Rachel again. Matt wrestled the gun away from her while Rachel and Jimmy tried to help JC.'

 

‘Jesus Christ.'

 

‘Yeah. Its bad guys. Really bad.'

 

‘I'm coming. I'll be on the first flight I can get.' Chris text.

 

*~*

 

The clock struck midnight and it was officially their birthday. Lance took Rachel's hand, giving it a squeeze.

 

"What's taking so long?" Rachel squeezed his hand in return and laid her head on his shoulder. It had been over six hours. Joey had showed up. Matt and Jimmy were still sitting in the waiting room. JC's manager had also showed up.

 

"I don't know." Lance said honestly. He tried to tell himself to be happy that it was taking this long. It meant that JC was still alive. It meant the doctors were doing everything they could to save him. It meant that JC was still fighting, still hanging on.

 

The door from the operating ward opened and a doctor stepped out. A mask hung down around his neck. A surgical cap still covered his hair. Rachel knew it was JC's doctor.

 

"JC Chasez?"

 

"That's us." Rachel immediately stood up and went to the doctor. Lance and Michael fell in behind her while everyone else gathered around. She found Lance and Michael's hands with hers and held tightly. Her heart was lodged in her throat and she found it harder to breath. She almost wished the doctor wasn't here. If he hadn't come out the door, Rachel could go on believing that JC was still alive. The waiting was over. She was going to find out the answer. If it wasn't what she wanted to hear... if JC was gone...

 

"JC's a fighter." The doctor saw a wave of relief pass through the people gathered before him. "The bullet went in to his chest and ricocheted before eventually landing in his abdomen. We had to remove JC's spleen and part of his small intestine. He's lost a lot of blood. He's critical, but the next 24 hours will tell."

 

"Can..." Rachel's voice broke and her bottom lip wobbled. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Hands squeezed both hers.  "Can I see him?"

 

The doctor stared at the blond, sympathy in his gaze. "The best thing for JC right now is rest. It's late. Go home. Get some sleep and come back in the morning."

 

"Oh..." The tears rolled down Rachel's face as the doctor bid them goodnight promising they would be notified of changes. She stared down the hallway long after the doctor disappeared from view. She was wrapped into a hug, but she couldn't move.

 

"Come on," Lance said softly, trying to nudge his sister to move. "We'll take you home and come back tomorrow."

 

Rachel eyes flew to her brother's. "Home? I-I can't g-go home." She frantically shook her head. In her mind, she was picturing the floor at the bottom of the stairs. The pool of JC's blood. The bloody towels...

 

"No no," Lance shook his head and squeezed Rachel's hand. "Coming home with me. To my house," he further explained. "You..." he was cut off when Rachel's phone rang. He waited, but Rachel made no move to get it. His eyes met Michael's and he pulled Rachel's phone from her back pocket. Karen's name was on the screen. "Hello?"

 

"Lance?"

 

"Yes, it's me."

 

"Roy and I just landed at LAX. Has there been any update?"

 

"We just spoke with the doctor." Lance relayed the information he knew to Karen and could hear the relief in her voice. "We are leaving now to head back to my place. We'll swing down there and pick you guys up. You can stay with Michael and me."

 

"You don't-"

 

"Not up for discussion." Lance cut off JC's mom. "It will take us about an hour to get there from here."

 

"That's too far at this time of night," Karen argued.

 

"Ma'am, we're not going to be sleeping any time soon." He said his goodbyes to Karen, promising to call her when they were close. "Come on Rachel."

 

"I didn't expect to leave him," Rachel whispered as she let Lance lead her through the hospital to the elevator.

 

"I know. But he needs the chance to heal. You need to rest."

 

"You really think I'm going to be able to sleep?"

 

"No, but you'll at least be able to rest at the house and not in an uncomfortable chair at the hospital. We'll be back first thing tomorrow."

 

"They know to call me?"

 

Lance nodded as they exited the hospital. The group could only nod in their goodbyes. Their minds were full of JC; their hearts heavy. "Yes. You filled out the paperwork."

 

"I-I don't remember." Rachel said confused as they walked down the sidewalk and into the parking garage where Lance had parked.

 

Lance figured as much. He had sat next to Rachel when they brought her the forms. He watched as she went through them all, filling out the information line by line without having to hesitate. He couldn't even fill out paperwork about himself without hesitating. They reached his vehicle and he dug the keys out of his pocket. Opening the back door, he helped Rachel inside before climbing in the driver's seat. Michael sat next to him. As he started the car, he blew out a deep breath and exchanged looks with Michael before pulling out of his space and heading to the airport.

If Rachel thought the hours passed slowly in the hospital waiting room, nothing prepared her for how slow they would pass through the night. After going to LAX and driving back to Lance's house, it was going on two in the morning. With the time change and the long cross country flight, Roy and Karen had retired to one of Lance's guest bedrooms not long after arriving at Lance's. Knowing that her brother wouldn't go to sleep while she was still awake, she headed to bed too. Every so often she would hear the mumble of conversation. Lance wasn't sleeping either.

 

She laid beneath the covers of the bed in the room she had claimed when she arrived yesterday afternoon. She lay on her side facing the window, her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms tucked under the pillow. There were tear stains on her cheeks and tear stains on her pillow. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was JC laying on the floor. The blood stain on his shirt growing bigger and bigger. She was helpless to do anything but keep applying the pressure to the wound and pray the ambulance would arrive quickly.

 

‘Love you.'

 

Those were the words he had spoken as he laid there on the floor, bleeding out. ‘Love you.' Rachel had spent years wishing to hear JC speak those words to her. Now he had, but they brought tears to her eyes. The crack in her heart was deep and wide. Tonight was only one hurdle. The doctor had said the next 24 hours were crucial. JC wasn't out of the woods. He could still die. A tear fell from the corner of her eye and rolled into her hair.

 

‘Love you.'

 

He could still die and she hadn't told him. She could have told him she loved him too. Maybe she would have responded that way after JC told her, if Addison hadn't screamed. It was all so confusing. Rachel couldn't make sense of a lot of things that had happened in those moments. Why would Addison pull a gun on them? She thought back to what had transpired. Seeing JC coming down the stairs made her freeze. It made her heart ache at the sight of him. Even after hearing the voicemail and his feelings on her, her stupid heart still loved him. He had looked terrible with his unshaven face, the pale skin, and dark circles under his eyes. Matt had told her JC was in a bad place. She hadn't believed him. JC didn't get to be in a bad place. He was the one who pulled the rug out from under her. He was the one who hurt her. JC didn't get to look like a zombie. She did. He didn't get to look like his heart had been broken. Hers was.

 

Nothing made sense. JC told her he loved her. She kept telling him not to talk, to save his strength, but he continued to talk anyway. Like he knew he might not make it. He had to tell her. He told her he loved her. The voicemail proved otherwise. JC told her it was wrong. How was it wrong? There was no mistaking the voicemail and what JC had said about her. How could it be wrong? How did he know about the voicemail when Matt told her JC had no idea what was going on?

 

Matt had sent the voicemail.

 

Why had Matt sent her the voicemail? Why would he do that to her? They had been friends for years. He had to have known what it would do to her to hear JC talk about her that way. Did he send it to her to protect her? Did he know Rachel's feelings? Did he know how she felt about JC and knew JC didn't feel the same way? Was that his way of telling Rachel to move on? He couldn't do it face to face he had to go the anonymous route?

 

JC had been adamant that Matt tell her about the voicemail. He thought Matt would tell her something that would magically make it all different. The word made her pause. Magically. She frowned. Why did that word make her pause? It was then she remembered the yelling she had heard all the way in her room with the door shut.

 

‘You think sorry is just going to magically make this all go away? You think Rachel's going to just magically forgive me? You think she'll be able to trust me again?'

 

At the time, the words had caused her to pause. JC had been angry. After JC's outburst it had gotten quiet. Rachel had strained to hear, but could only hear the low rumble of conversation. She couldn't make out the words or even who was talking. She had made the decision to quickly grab her things and leave, but then the yelling had returned and even more voices were involved.

 

Tears welled in her eyes again as pictures flashed through her mind. There were just snapshots on the day. JC grabbing her arm to keep her from leaving. Addison pulling the gun. JC taking a step to stand in front of her. Addison moving away from Jimmy. Addison turning the gun on her. JC laying on the ground bleeding. Holding JC's hand to her cheek as Jimmy applied pressure to the wound. Him laying deathly still with his eyes closed. Rachel clutched a pillow to her, wrapping her arms tightly around it. She buried her face in the pillow, trying to muffle the cries.

 

Rolling over, she grabbed her phone off the bedside table where she had it charging. There were plenty of messages, missed calls, and email notifications. A lot of the messages were from friends who wanted to know what was going on with JC and what had happened. There were messages from Stacy and her mom that she hadn't responded too, but Lance had talked to both of them on the phone earlier giving them the latest update on JC. Her voicemails were probably the same if she had to guess.

 

Leaving all the messages alone, Rachel pulled up her photos and slowly scrolled through them. The most recent ones were of her in Mississippi. There were photos of her with Stacy's kids, Stacy, Ford, her parents... She bypassed those and found the ones she had taken before. There were plenty of photos of her and JC on her phone. She looked at each one. Photos from around the house, photos from New York. Photos out in town. Photos from vacations. She had hundreds of photos on her phone and she stared at them until she had them all memorized.

 

*~*

 

"How did you sleep?" Lance asked when Karen came in to the kitchen. "I have coffee ready. Cream and sugar is already on the counter." He pointed toward the coffee pot on the counter. He had pulled the cream, sugar, and milk already and placed them next to the coffee pot along with coffee cups. "If you don't want that, I have the Keurig I can..."

 

"This is fine Lance," Karen smiled appreciatively at her son's friend. "You guys can keep your fancy stuff. Nothing will take the place of Mr. Coffee."

 

Lance chuckled. "Sound just like my mom." He had purchased his parents a Keurig, but his parents were set in their ways. The Keurig got most of its use when he and Michael visited.

 

"You know us old people," Karen sent him a wink before pouring her coffee. She added just a touch of cream and sugar.

 

"I'm not touching that one." Lance laughed. "I have cereal, bagels and cream cheese. I also have pancake mix, plus eggs and bacon."

 

"I think I'll just have a bagel," Karen sat the coffee cup down at the table. She turned around to see Lance moving toward the fridge. "Sit down. You don't have to wait on me."

 

"If word got back to my Mom that I didn't wait on you..."

 

"You let me handle Diane." Karen shooed Lance away from the fridge. Before she could open the fridge she saw the invitation. "Oh..."

 

"What?" Lance dropped the bagels onto the counter and quickly went to Karen. "What's wrong? What is it?"

 

"With everything going on..." Karen's voice trailed off and she lifted her hand to the invitation. It was white with black lettering. Gold trim around the edges. At the bottom, beneath the information, was a man and a woman clip art, dressed in their best ‘20s costume. The same invitation was on her fridge at home. She remember receiving it in the mail and being disappointed when she realized she and Roy had a prior commitment and wouldn't be able to attend. "It's Rachel's birthday today... yours too."

 

Lance nodded. He wasn't even sure what happened to the party last night. After Matt had called he made a quick call to Lisa explaining what he knew. He was certain she took care of everything. "Yeah. It's not the weekend we had planned for sure."

 

"JC was looking forward to the party. Said he and Rachel had gone in March to get their costumes. I think he was tickled to give her his gift. Couldn't wait. He said he was going to give it to her before the party, when they got back from the movie? Did she get it?"

 

"I..." Lance stared at Karen wide eyed.

 

"Lance are you okay? I know it isn't important. I'm just trying to make conversation to cover up how worried I am."

 

Lance closed his eyes and shook his head. "You didn't know..." he whispered.

 

"Know what?" Karen watched Lance look toward the doorway to the kitchen. "What's going on? What don't I know?"

 

"Rachel and JC had a...falling out."

 

"Falling out? What's that mean?"

 

"Rachel's been in Mississippi for about two weeks now. I had to beg her to come back for the party. Only way she would come is if JC wouldn't be there," Lance explained. The ache was back in his heart. The last words he had spoken to JC were uninviting him to the party. "The only reason she was at JC's house was because her costume was still there. She ran over there to get it..."

 

"My word," Karen stared at Lance in shock. "JC didn't mention anything... Come to think of it, I haven't talked to JC in about a week. Rachel longer. She didn't answer when I called. What happened?"

 

"I don't know." Lance sighed. "JC didn't know what was going on. Rachel won't talk about it."

 

"What a mess."

 

*~*

 

"Rachel?" Karen asked softly seeing Rachel hesitate outside the door to JC's room. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think I can go in there." Rachel whispered and turned around. Her tearful gaze met JC's parents.

 

"Yes you can," Karen told the young woman. "I know it's scary but..."

 

"You don't understand," Rachel told her with tears falling down her cheeks. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't been there... I should have stayed gone. If I had this wouldn't have happened. JC would be on his way to New Orleans right now..."

 

"This isn't your fault," Karen said firmly. "Do not blame yourself. It's that woman's fault. Not yours."

 

"She was aiming for me." Rachel whispered, looking over her shoulder at JC's door. "It should be me in there. It should be me."

 

"Come here, Sweetie," Karen drew her son's best friend into a hug. "It's not your fault. No one blames you. I don't blame you. Roy doesn't blame you. When JC wakes up, he will tell you he doesn't blame you. He was protecting you." She held Rachel as she cried, her heart breaking. If her son didn't tell this woman how he felt after this ordeal she was gonna box his ears in. "Come on," she drew back, meeting Rachel's eyes. "We're gonna go in and let JC know we are here. We're gonna sit by his side, hold his hand. You can even yell at him. You know he never passes up an opportunity to argue with you."

 

"Come on," Roy placed a hand on either woman's back.

 

Rachel took a deep breath and grabbed the handle of the door and pushed it open. The nurse had warned them that JC was hooked up to machines and that it would look scary, but they hadn't been prepared. She hadn't been prepared. JC had an IV catheter attached to his right forearm. The tubing was taped down and she followed the rest of the line where the bag was attached to the pole. She could see the slow drip. Wires were coming up from beneath the hospital gown and attached to another machine. The lines on the machine spiked with his heart beat. The numbers on the machine were low. The pointer finger of his right hand held the pulse ox. It was another wire added to the mess. There was a bag hanging toward the foot of the bed on the left side, with another tube that ran up and under the blankets.

 

The scary part in the whole scene was the tube coming from JC's mouth. The doctor had explained JC needed help breathing. He wasn't able to do it well enough on his own. All the tubes went off to the left side of the bed to the machine near his head. The ventilator. It was helping him breath. Giving him the oxygen he needed.

 

Rachel took a step forward and then another followed by another under she was standing by his side. She lifted her arm and hesitated, unsure.

 

"Go ahead. You won't hurt him." Rachel looked over her shoulder at the voice. A nurse had come into the room while she had been taking everything in. "Hold his hand, brush your fingers through his hair. Talk to him. Let him know you are here. Trust me, it's the best medicine for him."

 

Rachel turned back to look at JC. Her eyes running all over his face. He was pale. Paler than he had looked at the house. The circles under his eyes were more pronounced.

 

"I know the doctor explained JC's condition before you came in," the nurse spoke, her eyes meeting the older people in the room. "My name is Anita. I'm JC's nurse on day shift. I will be in and out all day checking on him. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask me. Even if it's something simple. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. The cafeteria starts serving lunch at 1030. It's down on the first floor. You come out of the room and hang a left and take the elevators at the end of the hall to the first floor. Once on the first floor, you'll face the cafeteria. To get in, go to the right and take the first hallway to the left. If you need me to, I will explain all the tubes and wires and what they are doing.  I want to remind you that JC has a few incisions on his chest." Using her own chest as a visual, Anita pointed out where the bullet wound was, as well as the incision made by the surgeon, and the where the chest tube had been placed.

 

"It's all so overwhelming," Karen whispered, staring at her son.

 

"I understand. I know how it looks, but trust me. JC is getting the best care," Anita assured them. "He did really well through the night."

 

"Shouldn't he be awake?"

 

"There is no set time we can tell families when loved ones will wake up," Anita explained. "JC had pretty extensive injuries. I can assure you, he's doing well."

 

"Thank you," Roy told the nurse, who then left the room to give them privacy.

 

Rachel laid her hand over JC's, curling her fingers to his palm. "When you said you had the best birthday present ever, I was expecting something a little more... happier." She used her free hand to brush the tears from her cheeks. "It's funny," she gave a short laugh. "I spent the last two weeks ignoring you. I erased every text message, every voicemail. I didn't want to hear your voice."

 

Roy and Karen exchanged looks. They had no idea what was going on between JC and Rachel. What could have happened between them to make Rachel run to Mississippi and cut JC out of her life? They had waited for years for JC to tell them their friendship had grown in to something new. There had been plenty of conversations within the family wondering what JC was waiting on. How he couldn't see what was right in front of him.

 

"I would give anything to hear your voice right now." Rachel squeezed JC's hand. "I would give anything to go back to when I got that voicemail. I wouldn't have ran. I would punch you right in the damn nose. I don't know where you get off hurting me like that... I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused." She sniffled and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. "You say you hate me, then you're taking a bullet for me and telling me you love me."

 

Roy and Karen looked at each other again, hearing Rachel speak. The last thing in the world their son felt for the woman in front of them was hatred.

 

Rachel reached up with her free hand and carded her fingers through his hair, pushing the locks up off his forehead. "I'm gonna need you to wake up JC and explain this all to me. So please wake up soon," she finished with a whispered. She leaned over, mindful of the tubes, and kissed his forehead. She squeezed his hand once more, before stepping away from the bed. Without meeting Roy or Karen's eyes she left the room as tears fell down her cheeks.

 

*~*

 

"There you are," Lance said as he spotted Rachel sitting in a chair in an isolated waiting room. "Why are you not with JC?"

 

"I just needed a minute."

 

"A minute passed two hours ago." Lance took a seat next to Rachel. "Karen told me what you said."

 

"I don't want to talk about it." Rachel turned in her seat so she was facing away from her brother.

 

"I do, so tough." He put his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. He kept his voice low. "Why do you think JC hates you?"

 

Rachel reached up and wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down her cheek. "Because he said so."

 

Lance shook his head. "I don't believe it. No way." He shook his head again. "JC does not hate you. I'm telling you. He loves you. The only person in this world who can't see that is you. Is that why you took off to Mississippi?" He sighed when Rachel nodded. "Why didn't you just come to me?"

 

"It was the first place JC would look."

 

"What did he say?" He watched as Rachel fiddled with her phone before handing it to him telling him to press play. He tapped the play button and lifted the phone to his ear. His eyebrows rose as he heard the voicemail. "Who sent this to you?"

 

"I think Matt did."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"I don't know. I think that's what the arguing was about before... before..." her eyes welled with tears again. She could still hear the gunshot and smell the gun powder. She could see the blood blossoming on JC's chest. "And when JC... JC was... he kept trying to talk, you know? I kept trying to shush him." Her chin wobbled and she sniffled. "I kept telling him not to talk... to save his strength. I'm holding his hand, pressing it against my cheek. Begging him to just hold on. Jimmy's trying to stop the bleeding. He wouldn't stop talking. Whispering. It was hard to hear him."

 

Lance wrapped an arm around Rachel's back and leaned in to her. He could feel his own eyes well with tears as he listened to her recount what had happened.

 

"He wouldn't listen to me. He just kept trying to talk."

 

"What did he say?"

 

"That the voicemail was wrong..." She sniffled and shifted in her chair so she faced forward and leaned her head on Lance's shoulder. "He said ‘love you. Always. Only you'."

 

Lance's eyes slid closed at Rachel's words causing the tears he'd been holding at bay to fall. He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his other arm around her. His heart ached. "That's why he wasn't listening to you. He knew he needed to tell you he loved you in case..."

 

"In case what?" Rachel asked when he trailed off.

 

"In case he didn't make it."

"If there was a TV in here, I'd put on one of your crappy movies like Star Wars," Rachel told JC. She sat in a chair next to his bed, on the left side. This way, she didn't have to deal with the IV wire or the pulse ox.  She could hold his hand without worry, like she was doing now. Her left hand laid palm up beneath his hand. His fingers rested lightly on her wrist. She kept hoping for movement, but so far there had been nothing. "You can tell me all about the Klingons and the Romulans... That would have set you off on a tangent," she smiled, as she gave a short soft laugh. "I can picture the eye roll you'd give me and hear the exasperation in your voice as you once again explain to me the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. I already know the difference. Star Wars is a crappy movie series and Star Trek has that hottie Chris Pine in their movies." The smile on her face was sad. The comment would have caused JC to launch into another explanation that she wouldn't listen to.

 

"Maybe for my birthday party next year, we make it Star Wars theme. It will be like a pre-release party for the new movie that comes out in December. Everyone will be in the best Star Wars costume and I'll show up as Picard wearing a red and black Enterprise body suit with a bald wig." She giggled imagining the outcry of her friends in attendance. "I can see the look on your face. It's so much fun to mess with you. Your dad thinks I should just say all the things I say that rile you up. One of them just might be able to wake you up because you'll just have to argue your side."

 

She sighed and tightened her thumb around his with the hold she had on his hand. "I wish that would work. I'd press all your buttons to see which one works. I wish it was that easy. It's scary seeing you like this. All these machines in here. All the tubes and wires hooked up to you. I know you need them all. It's all keeping you alive. But it looks like you're standing on the welcome mat at Death's door. I don't like this. You could actually die. And I'm not talking about you laying on the couch moaning in man pain because you have a cold and you think you're dying. I could actually lose you."

 

She sniffled as tears welled in her eyes. "Every time I think I have no more tears left, I surprise myself." She used her right hand to wipe her cheeks. "I thought by the time I got to the hospital it would be too late. That you would be gone. I thought for sure... There was just so much blood... As Matt drove us here, all I could think was you were gone and what was I going to do? You're such a big part of my life, you know? All of my greatest memories include you."

 

"You remember for my 23rd birthday in 2002 you took me to my first Broadway show? Mamma Mia. I had such a blast. God I loved that show so much. I must have played ABBA all summer that year. I wore out the CD, I played it so much. You know what's crazy? I still have the playbill. You've taken me too many Broadway musicals over the years, but I still have the Mamma Mia playbill twelve years later.

 

"How about the year I had that crazy idea to drive back to California from my parents? I talked you in to flying to Mississippi and then we'd rent a car and drive back. It was like a 24 hour trip or something. Something just stupid." Rachel laughed at the memories. "Didn't need a GPS. Just jump on the 20 and head west. It started out well enough. Until I started driving," she chuckled again. "I somehow got us turned around in El Paso. I didn't even know I was heading north instead of west. You were sleeping in the passenger seat and when you woke up and saw we were almost to Albuquerque you about went through the roof. You didn't talk to me for like 300 miles." She giggled as another memory popped up. "You put a compass in my stocking for Christmas that year."

 

"I was able to talk you in to visiting The Grand Canyon. After all, we were only an hour away. You still weren't talking to me. I didn't even think you were listening. You just kept turning the radio up. You didn't say anything, just kept driving in silence, but you made the turn north. You tried to pretend you were mad at me, but I knew you weren't. We spent most of the day sightseeing. We even hiked a little down into the Canyon. I thought I was gonna die on the walk back up. Then you got hit on by that one woman..." Rachel started laughing. She brushed her thumb back and forth over the back of his. "Oh man you were so embarrassed. You kept looking at me across the store, pleading with me to do something. I couldn't stop laughing. I've never laughed so hard in my life. She had to be twice your age. You finally were able to get away from her. I bought a cute little cougar pin to commemorate the occasion. I think I laughed all the way back to I-40."

 

"Remember the vacation we took with Tyler, Chris... oh gosh, I don't even remember who was all on that trip. It was a bunch of us. I had never skied before. I tried to get out of the trip, but you wouldn't let me. Said I had to come. I finally relented, thinking I'd just stay in the lodge the whole time. Maybe meet a cute ski instructor or some cute guy to get cozy by the fire. Something right off the Hallmark channel. Of course you pulled me right to the slopes. My ass spent so much time in the snow I'm surprised it didn't get frost bite. I couldn't balance to save my life. I was getting so angry. Everyone else could ski and here I was unable to stand on those damn sticks. I felt like I was ruining everyone's vacation. The third day we were there, I had been practicing all morning and still wasn't getting the hang of it. I snapped at you and nearly took your head off when I threw one of my poles. I went to stomp off but I still had the skis on my feet. My feet got all tangled and down I went. Man I wanted to lay there and cry."

 

"I was so mad at you for making me go on that trip. Mad at myself for not being able to just do it. So damn embarrassed. I yanked the skis off my feet and left them laying there and went back to the room. The tantrum I threw would have made any toddler proud. You came back to the room an hour or so later, carrying all my gear and your gear. You didn't say anything. I thought for sure you were gonna lay in to me. You put the skis up and disappeared in to your room. You came out and told me to get changed. We had lunch in town at a small little café with the best food. My God... I think I can still taste it. Afterward we walked the streets window shopping, ducking in to a few. We came across an ice rink right in the middle of this town.

 

"Man it was so beautiful. I kept thinking how it would look at Christmas time. The whole town at Christmas time." Rachel shifted in the seat, leaning her elbow up on the bed. "I bet it would look magical. We decided to ice skate. I don't know why. I couldn't stand up on skis. How could I stand up on skates? We rented skates. You got yours on first. You went out on the ice," she started laughed. "You went down. I nearly peed myself laughing so hard. The look on your face as you laid there on the ice. You were shocked. We skated around and around. I had my arm tucked through yours, holding on. I was so afraid to let go. I figured I'd fall. The ice isn't as forgiving as snow. I turned out to be a pretty good at ice skating. By the time we left a week later, I wasn't that bad of a skier."

 

"It hasn't always been fun and laughter with us." She switched hands. This time she laid her right hand over his hand and curled her fingers around his hand toward his palm again. She held it tightly. "There was that time when we were in Miami. We went out and ended up at that one club, LIV. It was so crowded that night. I thought I was safe you know? Lonnie was with us. Somehow someone was able to slip something in my drink. I was so scared. Even now it's still all fuzzy. I remember starting to freak out not knowing what was wrong. Then Lonnie was there. Then you were there.

 

"The night is a blank. I don't remember anything after that. I don't even remember leaving the club and going to the hospital. I remember waking up in our hotel room the next afternoon. You were sitting cross legged on the bed, elbows on either knee, hands clasped together, chin resting on them. Just staring at me. The look on your face...scared me half to death. Finding out what happened scared me even more. We were supposed to fly back to California that day, but you changed our flight to leave the following day instead. I spent the day laying in bed basically nursing a hangover. You stayed right there next to me."

 

"We've been through a lot together," Rachel said as she stared at JC, lying so still in the bed. "The stories we could tell... the stories that I need to tell...Every guy I dated never worked out because he wasn't you. I would go in to dates and relationships comparing them all to you. They always fell short. Melissa would set me up on those blind dates with her customers. I'd meet them an immediately think ‘His eyes aren't as blue as yours' or ‘His hair is too light' or ‘His eyes don't crinkle when he smiles.' I've been on a lot of dates, C and let me tell you none of them ever came close to you."

 

"It wasn't fair to them I suppose. They weren't even on a level playing field when they started. They had to play catch up. I probably missed out on some good guys. I just couldn't get you out of my head. You had the bar raised so high for me, no one would have been able to reach it. No one even came close." She shifted in the seat and leaned her forearms on the bed. Her hand still rested on top of his and she ran her thumb back and forth. "I suppose it wasn't fair to me either. I set myself up for failure each and every time knowing they weren't going to measure up. Knowing that it was you who I wanted. Knowing that I couldn't have you."

 

"I kept trying to prepare myself for the day when you'd tell me you were going to propose. I thought for sure it was gonna be Kathryn. As every holiday would near or every vacation you guys took, I was just waiting for the news. I tried to steel myself...prepare. I started spending more time at Melissa's. I'd sleep over at Lance's. I wouldn't go on vacations with you guys or our friends if I could get out of them. Went to Mississippi a lot. I started looking for a place to live. I could never afford a house. I knew I'd have to find a roommate, but I couldn't really come out and ask people. It would get back to you that I was thinking about moving out and you'd try to talk me out of it. You'd succeed too. It wouldn't take much. It wouldn't work though. I knew the more serious your relationship with Kathryn became, the more I needed to move out. Too many hands in the pot so to speak."

 

"Then you broke up. I tried to warn her. I tried to tell her not to rush you." She chuckled softly. "You'd propose when you're good and ready and not a moment sooner. She wouldn't listen and there was nothing I could do but watch it happen. Then I was there for the post break up angry phase. God I hate that stage. It hurts me so much because I know what a great person you are. I know any woman would be happy to even have fraction of your attention focused on them. Kathryn, Jennifer, Eva... they didn't know what they had. What they lost. There were many times I wanted to shout, ‘look at me!' I was right in front of you, but you never even saw me."

 

"Then Addison showed up. She was so blatant as she flirted with you. I didn't want to be around her. I knew she didn't like me. Oh she played nice, but I knew. I knew it was only a matter of time before you started dating. How could you not? She was Eva and Kathryn's twin. I'm the exact opposite of them. Your tastes couldn't be further away from me. Me with the blond hair and the pale skin and the crazy weird green-yellow eyes."

 

"I never thought I'd find myself here," Rachel whispered. "This wasn't how I pictured us going out. I figured I'd end up killing you for scaring me and causing me to ruin another picture. You were right though. I finished Lance's gift and I still didn't give it to him on time. I feel so stupid. All this time wasted... you said you love me. Did you really mean it the way I want it to mean? If so, God why didn't you say something? Why didn't I say something? I've loved you for so long... you were... are... precious to me. The relationship we have. The friendship. You truly are my best friend. You know me better than anyone else on this Earth including Lance. I filled out all those hospital forms without even thinking. I knew all the answer: social security number, allergies, hospitalizations, medical issues.... Never had to stop and think. I can't even fill out my own paperwork without having to pull up my calendar to look."

 

"It angers me to think of all the time we wasted. We could have been together years ago. We could have been married. Had a houseful of kids. Everyone told me to tell you how I felt: my parents, Lance, your parents... I was just so scared. What if you didn't feel the same way? How would me telling you ‘I loved you' affect our relationship? Would we be able to keep our relationship in tact? What if we lost it? Whenever I picture anything happening in my life, you are right there with me. My one constant."

 

"Maybe I need to work on why my brain immediately goes to the negative. The worst case. Thinking about telling you that I love you and I think of you telling me you don't feel the same. Hear a voicemail saying you don't like me and I don't even question it, just assume it's correct. That makes me a pretty shitty friend doesn't it? Over 15 years of friendship and I just assumed the worst instead of trusting you. It just played in the one fear that I have. It hurt so much to hear you say that. I couldn't even hear your voice. I couldn't listen to your messages. I kept my phone off so I wouldn't even see your name. If I ignored everything it would go away. And now here we are... you laying here in a hospital bed. You're hooked up to all these machines. You've lost pieces and parts. You're being held together with thread and glue. I would trade places with you in a heart beat. You took a bullet meant for me."

 

Tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. "I want to hate you for that. A part of me does. You took a bullet for me and you almost died. You could still die. You made me watch you get shot. My hands were covered in your blood. You're making me sit here and relive everything we've been through. Every moment - good or bad. Sitting here thinking about every shoulda, coulda, woulda. Thinking about every opportunity I had to tell you my feelings and I let the moment pass. If feels like a knife in my chest."

 

"I just want you to wake up," Rachel's voice cracked and she laid her head down on the bed, clutching his hand. "I want you to wake up and tell me everything is gonna be okay. Even if you don't feel the same way I do. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is you being okay. That's what I want most. I need you to be okay, JC. I can't do this without you."

 

*~*

 

"How are you doing?" Renee asked her husband as she sat down on the couch next to him. He'd be quiet for a couple days, but she expected that. After what happened at JC's... she was still in shock from when Matt told her what happened. She had nightmares of Matt being shot instead of JC. "How's JC doing?"

 

"Still the same," Matt took Renee's hand in his, holding it tightly. "I talked to Lance a couple hours ago."

 

"And there's been no change?"

 

"The doctors say that's good. He's hanging on. He's not getting worse."

 

"I can't imagine..." Renee shook her head and leaned into Matt's side. "And Rachel... how's she doing?"

 

"Not good. She won't leave his side." That was the part of the phone call that hurt the worst when Lance told him about Rachel. She wasn't answering her phone either. Lance explained not to take it personally. She wasn't answering any calls. She just sat next to JC, talking to him.

 

"That's not good. She needs a break. Lance needs to get her out of the hospital. Get her home where she can get something to eat that's not hospital food. Plus get some sleep. She's gotta be worn out...running on fumes. Maybe we should gather a few of her friends and go to the hospital and make her come with us."

 

"That might be a good idea." Matt kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hand.

 

"I can't believe this happened. It's scary to think about. Sometimes I start crying because I think how close it was to being you. I hate that it happened to JC and I hate myself so much for being so damn thankful that it wasn't you. It could have very well been you who was shot. You would be laying in that hospital right now. I would be in Rachel's position."

 

"Hey," Matt shifted and wrapped his arms around Renee as she started to cry. "Shhh," he hushed her. He held her tightly. Her cries broke his heart.

 

"And that fight they had..." Renee sniffed as she wiped her tears. "For Rachel to just up and leave without even telling JC what was wrong. It had to be huge. She must be feeling so guilty. There is a good possibility that JC won't make it out of the hospital. If he dies and Rachel spent the last two weeks not talking to him..." she shook her head. "I don't know if there is anyone that can stop her from spiraling out of control. If we had a huge fight and something happened and I didn't get the chance to at least tell you I loved you...I would lose my mind Matt. You know I love you but if I didn't get the chance to tell you, to make sure you knew, and I lost you...And Rachel... JC doesn't even know her feelings for him, does he?"

 

Matt shook his head, his heart heavy. "No. He doesn't know."

 

"That's enough to make a sane person go crazy. Going through life thinking you have all this time and then it's gone in a blink of an eye."

 

"Renee?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Lance I can't..."

 

"You have to. You can't stay here any longer. Come with me."

 

"I can't leave him." Rachel turned from Lance and went to walk back toward JC.

 

"Just for a few hours," Lance reached out and grabbed Rachel's arm, turning her back toward him. "I promise. We'll go home. You can shower. We'll grab something to eat. You can sleep for a couple hours. I promise I will bring you back."

 

Rachel shook her head. "I can't leave him alone..."

 

"He won't be alone," Karen stepped up to the siblings. She took Rachel's hand in hers and squeezed it. "I'll be here with him the whole time. I downloaded a new book I think he'd love. I'm gonna read it out loud to him. I know you don't want to leave him Rachel, but you can't go on like this. You need to take care of yourself. Go home. Get some sleep. JC wouldn't want you to do this."

 

"Don't use him against me." The bark had no bite.

 

"You can't do this, Rachel," Lance spoke again. "You haven't eaten in days. I know you haven't slept in even longer. You're wearing yourself out. I don't even know how you still able to function. You're living off coffee. You're ready to collapse. You're gonna find yourself admitted to the hospital. When that happens, you won't be able to be in here with him."

 

"Rachel, I promise you. He won't be alone. I'm here. Roy will be here. I'm gonna be here all night okay?" Karen spoke to Rachel softly. The woman wouldn't meet her eyes, she just stared beyond her at the hospital bed where JC lay. The ventilator was finally gone, along with all its tubes. He was finally strong enough to breath on his own. Now it was a waiting game. "I will call you the moment anything changes. I promise you."

"I don't know..."

 

"Honey," Roy stepped over to his wife and spoke to Rachel. "We know this is hard for you. Don't do this to yourself. Let us take over. Let Lance take you home. Let him take care of you. You've been taking care of JC from the moment he got here."

 

"But," Rachel looked at JC's father with her eyes full of tears.

 

"I know," Roy pulled Rachel into a fatherly hug. When she sobbed against him, he tightened his hold. "Let us take care of you," he whispered to the woman he considered another daughter. He was relieved when she nodded. "Good." He pulled back and met her gaze. "If he would see you like this when he wakes up, he would rip us a new one for not making sure you took care of yourself." He smiled and his heart lightened seeing Rachel smile.

 

"You wouldn't do that to us, would you?" Karen asked.

 

"No," Rachel laughed softly, wiping her eyes with her fingers. "I really don't want to leave him..."

 

"We know," Karen said squeezing her hands. "I am so happy that JC has found someone like you who loves him as much as you do. Who sees the real him. Who would disregard what's best for them in order to make sure he's taken care of."

 

The tears fell again at Karen's words. "You'll call me if..." she didn't even finish the sentence before Karen was nodding.

 

"Immediately." Karen promised.

 

Rachel walked around Karen and Roy back to JC's side. She took his hand in hers and held it tightly as the door shut behind her leaving her alone with JC. "I don't want to leave you. I know in my head I need to go home but my heart... it's telling me to stay. To not leave you. I feel like the moment I walk out that door something is going to happen. I feel like you know I'm here and that you need me to be here. I was overpowered. You know how your parents can be." She rested her hand on his head and rubbed her thumb back and forth across his temple. Leaning down she pressed her forehead lightly on his and closed her eyes. "I'll be back first thing in the morning." She lifted her head and placed a kiss on his forehead. "I love you."

 

"Ready?" Lance asked when his sister came out of JC's room. His heart clenched at the heartbroken look on her face. He hated doing this, but he had to. Rachel was on the verge of collapsing if she didn't get food and rest.

 

"No."

 

"It will be okay." Lance hugged her and watched as she said goodbye to JC's parents. Then he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked her down the hallway to the doors that left the ICU wing. "It's just for today."

 

"A lot can happen in a day."

 

"Yes... and that includes you collapsing if you don't eat. Streamlining coffee doesn't count either. You don't even like coffee!"

 

"I know. I hate it." Rachel said as they excited the hospital and headed toward the parking structure where Lance had parked. The Los Angeles sun was unforgiving and Rachel flinched against the brightness.

"Then why are you drinking it?"

 

"Because Mountain Dew is frowned upon at seven in the morning."

 

"Could always pour it over your Cheerios."

 

"That's the most disgusting thing I've heard."

 

Lance laughed as he hit the key fob to unlock his car. With Rachel in the passenger seat, he pulled away from the hospital. "He's going to be fine." He told his sister when he saw her wipe away a tear.

 

"Maybe."

 

"Don't be like that," Lance looked over at her when he stopped at a red light. The traffic was light given the early morning hour. He knew it would soon get crazy as the morning rush hour started. "You've heard the doctor. He said JC's doing good. He's finally off the ventilator. He's strong enough to breath on his own."

 

"Then why isn't he awake?"

 

"I don't know," Lance sighed. It was something that was perplexing the doctors as well but they still remained positive. "But he will."

 

When they arrived back at Lance's house, Rachel felt lost; like she had no purpose. At the hospital, she knew she had to talk. She had to hold JC's hand and plead with him to wake up. She was able to take a washcloth and wash his face every day. With the ventilator and the tubes gone, yesterday she had gotten permission to shave his face. It had been slightly nerve wracking. She had never shaved a man's face, but she was tired of looking at the unkempt whiskers. With Roy's guidance, she was able to remove all the facial hair and nearly wept at the sight of JC's bare face; hadn't been able to stop herself from pressing her cheek against his. Now there was nothing for her to do but think.

 

"Go shower." Lance came up behind her, giving her a nudge. "Better yet, go soak in the tub."

 

"Use the one in our room," Michael said. "Turn the jets on."

 

"Yeah," Lance turned toward her. "Use ours. It's so much better. It's amazing. It's one of the reasons we bought this house. Soak in the tub, then crawl in to bed and sleep."

 

"I think there are some bath oils in the cabinet too. They aren't manly smelling either." Michael gave a slight chuckle. "There is also Epsom Salt."

 

Rachel shook her head. "I should just take a shower. I have a lot to do."

 

Lance looked at Michael before looking back at his sister. "Like what?"

 

"Things."

 

"Like?"

 

"Call the police department and get an update. I know they've been calling me. See if I can go back to the house. Find someone..." she swallowed roughly. "The house needs to be cleaned. My voicemail is full. I have hundreds of emails to go through. I have to contact the people with Jesus Christ Superstar. My car is still at the house. I need to get it. I need to find his wallet and phone. He didn't have any personal effects on him at the hospital. They must be at the house."

 

"None of that matters at the moment," Lance said. "I took you from the hospital so you could take care of yourself. Eat, shower, and sleep. Everything else can wait."

 

"Lance..."

 

"I will call the detective in charge of JC's case and find out what I can. About the house, the clean up, and anything else. I can also go through your voicemails. I will write down everything that you need to take care of and delete the ones who don't have to worry about. I'll even go through your emails and prioritize them. I'll do anything. Just please go take a bath, hell a shower, just afterward, crawl in to bed and sleep. Please." He pleaded.

 

"Alright," Rachel relented. "I need my phone though. In case..."

 

"I will wake you immediately if Karen calls. I promise."

 

"Okay," Rachel handed her phone to Lance and went down the hallway. She only meant to sit down on the bed for a few minutes before heading in to the shower. The next thing she knew, Lance was shaking her shoulder. "What? JC?" She sat up quickly.

 

"I didn't mean to scare you," Lance said. "JC's fine. I spoke with Karen about an hour ago. No change. I made dinner. Come and eat."

 

"What?" Rachel asked, confused. She looked out the window, frowning. "What time is it?"

 

"Seven." Lance informed her. "I came to check on you earlier and you were sleeping. Didn't even get in the shower. Didn't have the heart to wake you, so I just covered you with a blanket and let you sleep. How are you feeling?"

 

"Tired. Confused. Lost."

 

"You're exhausted. Which proves I was right in getting you out of the hospital. If you didn't need to eat, I would have let you sleep. Probably would have slept all night. Come on. Let's eat."

 

"What are we having?"

 

"Granddaddy's chili."

 

"You have the recipe?" Rachel asked turning to look back at her brother as they walked down the hallway. "I ask him all the time and he never gives it to me."

 

"Told you I was his favorite." Lance teased. "It was extenuating circumstances. Once I told him it was for you, he gave it up without a hitch."

 

"Knew I was his favorite." Rachel tucked her arm through Lance's and laid her head on his shoulder as they walked into the kitchen. A soup pot sat on the stove, the burner on low. Three bowls were stacked on top of each other next to the stove. Michael stood at the island slicing a loaf of French bread and piling it on to a plate.

 

Walking to the stove, she lifted the wooden spoon from the spoon rest and stirred the chili in the pot. The smells sent her back to Mississippi and spending time at her grandparents' house when the weather finally turned cool. Using the ladle, she filled her bowl and sat it down on the island. Opening up the ream of saltine crackers, she crushed some of them, piling them in her bowl. After sneaking a piece of bread, she went to the table and sat down.

 

"I've been smelling this all day," Lance said as he fixed himself a bowl and sat at the table with his sister. He groaned when Michael sat the plate of bread down in the center of the table. "Why did you bring that over here? Now I'm gonna end up eating all of it."

 

"Watching your weight?" Rachel teased.

 

"I am getting married in seven months," Lance pointed out.

 

"Where are the cameras?" Rachel asked. Lance and Michael were getting married in December. They had decided to make their wedding a TV special. It was set to air in February. She had already been included in a lot of scenes.

 

"We're not filming at the moment. Not with what happened. We halted the process."

 

"Isn't that going to mess with the production schedule?"

 

Lance shrugged. "It will work out. It's not like Michael and I are going out making wedding decisions. Don't worry about it. You have enough on your plate." The conversation fell silent as they ate. Lance shared a look with Michael when Rachel got up to get a second helping. It wasn't until she was almost done with that bowl did he speak again. "I talked with Detective Campbell with the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department. He's the detective handling JC's case. They need you to go in and give your statement."

 

"I told the officer on scene everything that happened."

 

"I know, but you need to do it again." Lance explained. "I'll take you there tomorrow morning."

Rachel shook her head. "No. I need to get back to JC tomorrow."

 

"You can't put this off. You need to tell them what happened so they can move forward with prosecuting Addison."

 

"They have Matt's statement and Jimmy's. They were there. They saw the same thing I did."

 

"Rachel," Lance sighed. "Do you want Addison to get away with this? Then you need to cooperate," he said when she shook her head. "It won't take that long. As soon as you're done, we'll go to the hospital."

 

"Is Addison in jail?"

 

Lance shook his head. "She posted bail yesterday."

 

"What?" Rachel whispered, staring at her brother. "Should I be worried? Do we need security at the hospital?"

 

"I asked the same questions to Detective Campbell. He feels that you and JC aren't in any danger. But I contacted hospital security and gave them an update. They are going to up their security. JC's safe right now because he's in the ICU. No one can just walk in to that unit. You're safe when you're there. You're also safe here. She can't get you here. If you're worried, we can get you a body guard."

 

"This is crazy," Rachel whispered, pushing her bowl away. "A body guard. For me!"

 

"I'm more worried about you than JC."

 

"Yeah. She tried to kill you." Michael said. "She's not gonna go after JC. It's you she wants to harm."

 

"Your house has been released," Lance continued. "Detective Campbell gave me a few companies. I got one who was able to come immediately. I went over there earlier. Let them in and waited while they finished. It's all cleaned." He didn't mention how the scene had been fodder for nightmares. The smell had hit him immediately when he opened the front door. When he saw the blood stains on the floor - the pool where JC had laid, the foot prints, the smears, the soiled towels - he wanted to run from the house and throw up. "We can go there tomorrow. We'll hit the police station and the house. I went through your voicemail. There was a lot from people just wanting to know what's going on. There are a few people who needed to be returned. It took awhile, but I got through your email. I sent everything to Eric." Eric was JC's manager.

 

"What? Why?"

 

"Because the last thing you need to do is be on the phone talking about cancelations and rescheduling or anything else. Let Eric handle everything. It's time he earns what JC pays him. You can concentrate on JC now and not work."

 

When they finished eating, Rachel tried to help clean up, but both Lance and Michael shooed her away. She went back to her room and decided to take a bath. Going into the en suite, she started the water putting it on as hot as she could stand. She leaned against the counter waiting for the tub to fill and wished she had grabbed her phone from Lance. JC needed to wake up soon. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't

The police station hadn't taken Rachel long at all. Detective Campbell met with her immediately. She was shown into a conference room and gave her account on what happened. They recorded the conversation and asked her questions. She also gave a written statement. The detective also answered what questions she could think to ask, as well as those that Lance and Michael had. He informed them that the Assistant District Attorney would be getting in contact with her.

 

When they left the police station, they headed across town toward her place. The closer she got, the quieter she became. There was a pit growing in her stomach. Her fists tightened so much, her fingernails dug into her palms. She stared out the window as Lance turned on her road, staring at the neighboring houses. They rounded the corner and there was her car, pulled as close to the curb as she could get it. The road wasn't wide enough and she was always afraid someone would fly around the corner and hit her car. So far it hadn't happened yet because the only people who traveled their road were those who lived there.

 

JC had a garage, but it was a tight fit to get both their vehicles inside. They could do it, but they didn't very often. She always left her car tucked right before the garage. Sometimes she'd park right in front of the garage. They usually played musical cars when it came to getting out of the house. Sometimes they took whatever was easiest. There were plenty of times when JC took her car because it was too much of a hassle to move it to get his from the garage.

 

Lance pulled in front of Rachel's car, blocking the driveway. He made sure he was tucked close to the garage door and out of the road. "You okay?" He asked his sister when she made no move to get out.

 

"Yeah," Rachel said softly and climbed from Lance's car. She walked down the dirt path between the cars and the wall toward the door that led into their property. With a shaking finger she entered the code and pushed the door open. She wondered how the paramedics and police officers had gotten in the house. The garage had been shut and someone would have had to buzz them in through the door. Lance and Michael followed behind her. Her steps slowed as she walked along the walkway toward the door.

 

Reaching the door, she stopped and dug for her keys in her purse. When she had them in her hand, she realized how much it was shaking. Inserting the key in the lock she gave it a turn. Before she could push it open, she froze.

 

"Rachel?" Lance questioned when Rachel didn't open the door. He frowned when she didn't answer. "Hey? Rachel?" He looked at Michael next to him and took a step forward and shifted to the side of his sister. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hand was shaking. Her breaths here coming out in short gasps. "Oh... hey..." he said softly and moved to stand between her and the door. "Hey... it's okay. Calm down." He reached up and cupped her shoulder. "Look at me. Come on."

 

"I...I..." Rachel shook her head and took a step back, stumbling when she ran in to Michael. Hands steadied her. "No..."

 

"Hey," Lance held Rachel's shoulders with both hands. "Calm down."

 

"I c-can't," Rachel whispered, shaking her head. She took another step back and another, away from the front door.

 

"Okay. We don't have to go in." Lance frowned when Rachel's breathing got worse. "Come on," he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her away from the door toward a bench that set in front of the window into the dining room. The walk way was narrow on this side of the house. It didn't lead to a balcony on the front of the house, instead it lead to stairs that took them to the first floor balcony where the pool was. The second story balcony was only accessible from the inside. He sat her down and crouched in front of her.

 

"Put your head down," Michael pressed on the back of Rachel's neck until she leaned forward in the chair, her head to her knees.

 

"Now just breathe," Lance said calmly. He rested his hand over hers on her knee. "Just concentrate on breathing. We're gonna sit here until you're ready. Did I ever tell you..." he talked softly to his sister. Telling her stories that came to his mind. Some he was sure she knew, others he wasn't sure. He kept talking until Rachel's breathing returned to normal. "That's it," he said, squeezing her hand. "You're doing good."

 

"I can't go in there," Rachel whispered. She closed her eyes as tears slipped free.

 

"It's completely clean. I promise. I was here yesterday while it was being done. You can't tell."

 

"I can't." She shook her head again and sat up. Lance was blurred in front of her eyes were full of tears.

 

"Okay," Lance said. "You don't have to go in there. Stay here with Michael and I'll go inside and grab what you need." He walked back to the door and pushed it open as he pulled Rachel's keys from the keyhole. He hesitated at the entrance, staring at the spot on the floor where the blood had laid the day before. Like he told Rachel, it was completely gone. Unless you knew where it was, there was no telling.

 

Able to shake himself, he shut the door behind him and walked through the house. He needed to find JC's phone and wallet. Rachel didn't know where the items could be. She told him to check the living room, the counter in the kitchen, and his bedroom. He found JC's phone laying on the arm of the couch in the living room. Holding it in his hand, he climbed the stairs to search for JC's wallet.

 

It was weird walking in to JC's room, especially when he wasn't there. Lance found the wallet quickly, seeing it laying on the top of the dresser. He opened it and made sure at least his driver's license and insurance card were inside. It felt like he should be grabbing more items, but at this point, JC didn't need anything. Once he woke up, JC would more than likely request things he wanted for his hospital stay.

 

Before he went downstairs, he went into Rachel's room. She had mentioned wanting a couple things. He found the items and went to leave the room but an envelope on the vanity caught his attention. Walking over, he looked down and saw his sister's name written across the front in JC's writing. He wondered what it was and if Rachel had seen it. Deciding to bring it with him, he picked it up and left the room.

 

Back outside, Lance saw Rachel still sitting on the bench. Michael next to her. "How are you doing?"

 

"Can we get out of here?" Rachel looked up at Lance. Her leg bounced with nerves and it took everything not to bite her fingernails. Her stomach was flipping and twisting itself.

 

"Yeah," Lance nodded. "I got everything."

 

"What's that?" Rachel asked looking at what Lance held in his hand. "Is that a sweatshirt?"

 

"Yeah," Lance shifted the other items in his hands and held up the sweatshirt he had grabbed from JC's room before he left. "It was laying on his dresser. I thought you might want it." Lance shrugged. "It smells like him."

 

Rachel stared at Lance then down at the zip up hoodie. She recognized it as one JC wore often. She wasn't surprised that it was tossed on the dresser within easy grab.

 

"If you don't want it, I'll just toss it back inside," Lance said. "I thought it would be comforting."

 

Rachel reached out and took the sweatshirt; the fabric soft in her hand. She threaded her arm through the sleeve, pulling it on over the t-shirt she wore. Lance was right. It did smell like JC. She gripped the open edges in either hand and pulled them across her body as she crossed her arms.

 

"Ready?" Lance asked, sharing a look with Michael.

 

"Yes." Rachel turned and quickly walked down the short path along the wall toward the door. She pulled it open and waited for Lance and Michael to step through before she pulled it shut making sure it was secure before walking to Lance's car. She climbed in the backseat and fastened the seatbelt.

 

"Here," Lance extended his arm between the front seats and handed the items he grabbed from the house to his sister.

 

"What's the envelope?" Rachel asked putting everything in her lap. His phone was dead, which she had figured. She had already been prepared for that and plugged it in to the waiting wire plugged in to the back of Lance's center counsel. She opened his wallet and verified the insurance card was tucked in one of the pockets. The hospital needed a copy of it, as well as his driver's license. They had been holding off knowing the circumstances and the fact that the police hadn't released the scene yet.

 

"No idea," Lance said as he pulled away from JC's house. He pulled into the neighbor's drive up to the gate and backed out so he could turn around and head back down the road. He drove slowly on the winding downhill road, silently cursing JC for buying a house where he did. There was barely any room to pass cars. People parked on the side of the street because there was no room for driveways with the houses so close together. "I swear I am never driving up here again," he muttered as he had to pull as close to the edge as he could to allow another vehicle to pass. "It was laying on your vanity."

 

"I don't remember seeing it." When she had gotten to her room on Saturday, there had been so many emotions going through her, a marching band could have been standing in the middle of her room playing ‘Stars and Stripes Forever' and she wouldn't have noticed. The enveloped bulged a little. Turning it over, she slid her finger beneath the flap and ripped it open. There was a card inside and she pulled it out. "Oh... it's a birthday card."

 

"Even in the hospital JC managed to get you a birthday card," Lance said with a teasing tone. "I'm still waiting for one from my sister." He grinned when Michael snickered.

 

"I've been a little busy Lance."

 

"So what did he give you?" Lance asked as he turned on Sunset Boulevard heading toward the hospital.

 

The card was simple. It was white and the writing on the front was alternating lines of light pink and black. It read, "Happy birthday to my most favorite human" in capital letters in a font that looked like someone's handwriting. The sentiment brought a smile to her face. JC was her most favorite human as well. Opening it up, she frowned seeing the folded papers that explained the bulkiness of the envelope. "What?" She whispered when she unfolded the papers.

 

"What is it?" Lance asked. "What did he get you?"

 

"Plane tickets..." Rachel stared at the two tickets with an October departure date, landing in Olso, Norway.

 

"Where's he taking you?" He glanced in the rearview mirror. His sister's face was covered in shock.

 

"Europe." She unfolded the other papers and scanned the detailed schedule. Her jaw dropped further. "He has a whole vacation planned through Demark, Sweden, and Norway."

 

"Wow," Lance said surprised. "You're kidding me."

"No. He planned a two week vacation." As she read through the itinerary she recognize some of the names from when she had spoken to Bryan about his trip. She'd been so enthralled listening as Bryan reciting what it was like. Afterward she had spent a few days researching the places and checking out photographs on the Internet, falling more in love with the countries. She had been to Europe before but it was all the usual places: Spain, France, England, Italy. The Scandinavian countries were added to her bucket list.

 

"I'm not sure how you're going to top that present, Sis," Lance cut across oncoming traffic and pulled in to the parking structure at the hospital.

 

Rachel was still in shock over the gift as she folded up the papers intending to stick them back in the card. It was then she noticed the writing. Lifting the card she read JC's words: ‘Do you know how many Star Wars movies we can watch on the flight over?' she chuckled out loud.  She didn't know the answer, but she wouldn't be surprised if JC researched it and knew the answer. ‘I don't know how to even thank you for all the things you've done, did, and will do. You have always been there. I am lucky to have you my life. I can't wait to celebrate with you tonight. Love JC'

 

"You're gonna ruin the tickets if you let too many tears fall on them." Lance had turned around in the seat after he had parked.

 

"They're fake."

 

"What?" Lance reached back and grabbed the tickets from Rachel's hand. "How are they fake?"

 

"Come on Lance," Michael said. "Who actually prints tickets?"

 

Lance looked at the tickets. The tickets were a perfect mock up including the card stock paper. Looking at them more closely, he saw they were fake. Where the name was supposed to be one ticket just said ‘you'. The other said ‘me' and was followed by a bunch of question marks. He scoffed. Like Rachel wasn't going to take him along. "Maybe this is my ticket." Lance held up the one that said me. "Maybe it's his birthday present to me. I think it would be cool to visit Norway."

 

"I'm not taking you," Rachel rolled her eyes and snatched the tickets from his hand.

 

Lance sighed overdramatically. "That would have been an awesome birthday present, sis."

 

"I told you, I already have your present. It's at the house." Rachel put the papers back in the card and slide the card into the envelope. She picked up the small shoulder bag and put the card inside. His phone followed as well as his wallet. She double checked to make sure she had what she needed a gasped.

 

"What?" Lance asked as he unbuckled his seat belt.

 

"Oh no no no no," She chanted and dug through the shoulder bag. She dumped the items on the seat, but didn't see what she was looking for. She patted the front pocket of her jeans and arched up to check her back pockets. "No no no," she repeated and looked at the floor at her feet. Empty.

 

"What's wrong? What are you looking for? Michael asked.

 

"My wallet. I thought I stuck it in the bag." She looked up at Lance. "I can't get into ICU without my ID." It didn't matter that she had been a staple in the ICU. Lance had been able to get her to take a walk through the hospital to stretch her legs. Karen had succeeded in pulling her to the cafeteria. Not that she had been able to eat much. "I must have left it sitting on the counter."

 

"Don't worry," Lance turned back in his seat and started the car again. He pulled his seat belt back on. "We'll run back to the house and grab it. We'll be a couple hours. Just tell Karen what happened."

 

*~*

 

"I don't understand why you have to come in as well," Rachel said as they all climbed from the car back at Lance's. "I'm just gonna run in and get my wallet."

 

"I told you," Lance said as he punched in the code to unlock the gate that led to his front door. "I have to go to the bathroom. It won't take any longer than you getting your ID." He led the group up the stairs to his front door where he unlocked it and pushed the door open. "I'll be right back."

 

"Hurry up!" Rachel called as she made her way to the kitchen. There, on the table, sat her wallet. She couldn't believe she left it laying there. Her bag had been right next to it. She picked it up and opened it to make sure her driver's license was still inside. It was. With it in her hand, she went back to the door and waited for Lance and Michael to reappear. "I'm having flashbacks to when we would take family trips. You always had to stop and go to the bathroom." She told Lance when he came down the hallway.

 

"Sorry." Lance said. "Michael's coming. He said to just wait in the car. He'll lock up."

 

Rachel nodded and turned around. She grabbed the door knob and pulled it open, gasping when she came face to face with Matt. "You scared the shit out of me!"

 

"Sorry," Matt apologized. He'd been trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. Like the conversation he had with Renee the other night, he wasn't looking forward to this one either.

 

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she took in Matt's appearance. "We haven't really spoken since..."

 

"That's my fault," Matt said when she trailed off. "My head hasn't been in the right place." That was an understatement. His head hasn't been in the right place since long before the shooting.

 

"Do you need something?" Rachel frowned. Matt really did look terrible. She wondered if that's how she looked yesterday before Lance was able to pull her away from JC's bedside.

 

"I actually needed to talk to you," Matt stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked at the woman he considered a close friend. There were plenty of times he and Renee had gone out with JC and Rachel; plenty of vacations between the four of them. It was crazy to think how there was a last time for doing something without understanding that it would be the final time.

 

"We're on our way out the door," Rachel looked over her shoulder helplessly at Lance. Michael had joined them. "On our way back to JC."

 

"I'm shocked to even find you here."

 

"I didn't want to be here, but Lance insisted I needed to sleep and eat. JC's parents have been at the hospital since yesterday morning." Rachel hated to admit but she did feel better after being able to sleep and get something to eat. She would never admit to Lance that he was right. She had a feeling he knew anyway. "We were already there this morning, but I forgot my ID so we had to come back and get it."

 

"It won't take very long. There's just something you need to know. It can't wait. It's already been too long."

 

Rachel frowned. Her face scrunched in confusion. It crossed her mind to brush him off so she could get back to the hospital and JC, but Matt looked so beaten. "Okay. Come in." She stood back from the door, allowing Matt to enter. She sent Lance a questioning look, who shrugged in response. "What's going on?" She asked after they moved into the living room to sit down. It was hard to not look at the clock. She wanted to be back with JC, but she couldn't turn Matt away. His appearance done her in.

 

"You have to know I never meant for any of this to happen. If I knew this was what was going to happen, I'd never had done it, but I didn't have a choice at the time. Well... I did. I just took the easy way."

 

"What are you talking about?" Matt's words just cause more confusion.

 

"About a month ago, I slept with Addison." He watched as Rachel's eyes widened. When she leaned away from him, his heart stumbled. He had already lost Renee. He wasn't sure where he stood with JC. Now Rachel... There was no one to blame but himself.

 

"Oh Matt... no..."

 

"It was the worst thing I have ever done...one of the worst," he amended after the events from Saturday flashed through his head. "I regretted it immediately. I don't even know why... I tried to keep it from Renee. I would have done anything so Renee wouldn't find out."

 

Rachel's heart broke for Renee. Renee was one of her closest friends. They clicked from the moment Matt introduced them when they had started dating. "Does Renee know?"

 

Matt nodded. "I told her everything. I made her promise not to tell you. I needed you to hear it from me. She gave me that at least."

 

"What's going to happen now? Between you two?" She wiped away a tear. Sadness coursed through her. The hurt both of her friends were going through.

 

"I'm not sure," Matt said honestly. "I moved out. She... she needs time."

 

"I'm so sorry Matt," Rachel reached out and clasped his hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm here for you. You know that."

 

Matt tried to give her a small smile, but his lips wouldn't curve. He didn't deserve Rachel's support. "There's something else I have to tell you." He closed his eyes. Rubbing both of his hands over his face he took a deep breath. "After it happened, I would do anything so Renee wouldn't find out what happened. I knew if she did, it would be all over. I let Addison blackmail me..."

 

"That bitch!" Rachel spat out. "I curse the day she ever crossed paths with JC." She stared at Matt and saw how he refused to meet her gaze. "What did she want in return?" She asked slowly, dread setting in.

 

"JC." Matt answered. "I introduced Addison to Jimmy and JC under the guise of writing a Girl Radical song together."

 

"Okay."

 

"It wasn't good enough. Addison thought once I introduced them, it would be easy. But JC never took any of the bait she dangled in front of him. He kept their relationship strictly professional." He shifted on the couch in order to face Rachel a little more. "You don't understand, I thought she'd grow tired of it. She'd set her sights on someone else and move on. But the song writing sessions just kept going. She kept getting more and more frustrated as JC continued to resist."

 

"What did you do?" Rachel whispered. Fragments from Saturday popped in to her head. The arguing between Matt and JC. JC's insisting that she hear what Matt had to say. Matt knowing about the voicemail. "What did you do?"

 

"You've gotta believe me, I didn't think it would turn out like this," Matt pleaded.

 

"What did you do?"

 

"I recorded a conversation between JC and me."

 

"The voicemail..." she whispered.

 

"It was a fake. You have to believe me. I recorded the conversation and then manipulated the audio to make it sound like JC didn't like you."

 

"Why would you do that?"

 

"I had to. Addison was going to tell Renee and I couldn't let that happen. I was trying to save my marriage."

 

"You let me believe JC said those awful things about me. Do you know how much it hurt hearing that? Do you understand what that did to me?"

 

Matt was wrecked. "I know. I'm so sorry. I thought you'd hear it and tear in to him. I was counting on you confronting him. I knew once JC heard the voicemail he'd know it was fake. He'd know who did it too. I was waiting for him to come after me. I could confess what I did... but you took off without word and JC... JC lost it."

 

"I spent the last two weeks completely devastated thinking JC hated me..." she whispered. "This was all just a rouse so you could save your marriage. You did this to me, to JC, so you could save your marriage?  We're your friends, Matt. JC considers you his best friend. How could you do this to us? Why didn't you come to us?"

 

"I just wanted to save my marriage." Matt's eyes were red rimmed with the tears he was trying to hold at bay. "I thought you and JC would be able to see through it. The relationship you guys have is stronger than anyone's I know. I didn't think anything could come between you two."

 

There were no words to describe the hurt and pain Rachel felt. Matt had manipulated her. "How could you do that to us? I just spent the last two weeks mad at JC. I couldn't even hear his voice it hurt me too much. And now..." her voice cracked and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Now he might die and I'll never get to tell him..."

 

"I'm so sorry," Matt whispered. He reached out to take her hand. His heart broke when she broke the hold immediately.

 

"This is what you and JC were arguing about before..."

 

Matt nodded. "I couldn't take it anymore. JC was sinking further and further in to depression. You were gone. You had shut everyone out. I couldn't look Renee in the face anymore. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I didn't even know you were here when I stopped over. I didn't know Addison was going to show up. I definitely didn't know she had a gun. I never expected any of this to happen."

"Rachel's going to be late," Karen said after she responded to the message from the woman. "They made it all the way to the hospital before she realized she forgot her ID. They have to go back and get it. She wants to know if we need anything?"

 

"The largest cup of black coffee she can find," Roy replied. He tossed the magazine onto the bed trey and stood up from the chair. His body protested and he rolled his shoulders, trying to work out the kinks. "I don't know how she was able to stay here hour after hour sitting in this chair."

 

"Well being only 35 has a little bit to do with it," Karen told her husband, her eyes shining with mirth. She sent off Roy's request and had no shame is asking for one for herself. Hospital coffee just didn't cut it.

 

"Remember when he became ours?" He moved back to the hospital bed, staring down at his son. He and Karen had been foster parents to JC's mother when she was younger. When JC was five, she realized JC needed a stable family. He would never forget when she had come to them with a five year old JC in tow. He and Karen never hesitated. It hadn't mattered that they already a four year old and an infant at home. They immediately took him in and adopted him as soon as they could. He was no less his son than Tyler.

 

"He's certainly brought us challenges we never saw coming." Karen sat her phone down on the table and move to stand next to her husband. She leaned in to him when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

 

"I wouldn't change it for anything." Roy said.

 

"If he doesn't pull through," Karen's voice wobbled.

 

"He will," Roy said firmly. He pulled his wife into his arms and held her tight. "JC's strong. He's a fighter. He has plenty to live for. He will fight to come back."

 

"I'm worried about Rachel. If he doesn't make it...she's as much part of our family as JC. The two of them... they aggravate me so much. How two people can be so blind to what's in front of them I'll never know?"

 

"She's the reason I know JC won't give up. He won't leave her."

 

"I hope you're right." Karen took a seat in one of the chairs at JC's side. She reached for the drawing pad on the trey and pulled it out from under Roy's magazine. Rachel had left it behind the day before. Karen had already flipped through the pages. Her heart had broken when she had seen the drawing of Rachel looking out the window to the couples dancing. It had shattered when she saw the ones of her family members coupled up, sitting on a porch swing and the one of Rachel alone. When she had gotten hold of her tears, she had given her son a stern talking to. He was going to tell her how he felt when he woke up or else.

 

The drawing pad had dozens of photos. A favorite of hers was JC depicted as a superhero fighting off villains. Karen didn't know what his superhero name was, but his super power was music. There was a musical note centered on his chest and he was thwarting the villains with music. His mouth was open and notes were coming out. The villains had their arms crossed in front of their faces trying to block the onslaught. Another one that had tugged her heart strings was of JC laying in the hospital bed. He was still hooked up to the ventilator with the tubes coming out of his mouth. Off to the side, next to the heart monitor was a closet with the door open. Inside the closet was Superman's cape. The next drawing made her close the book and escape outside to the fresh air presented itself.

 

JC was in the middle of the page, dressed in what Karen guessed where silk pajamas with the button up long sleeve shirt. He had huge angel wings coming out of his back. He was walking up the stairs. Behind him, Rachel had drawn herself grabbing one of his hands as if to pull him back. In front of him stood the gates of Heaven. Conversation clouds came through the gate with sayings like, ‘Just wait until you hear him sing' and ‘He has the voice of an angel.' It had taken quite awhile before Karen was able to pull herself together and go back in to JC's room yesterday after she had seen the drawing.

 

Bypassing the drawings she already looked at, Karen smiled when she saw one of her and Roy. They were standing together staring out the window. On another page was Anita, JC's dayshift nurse. Rachel had drawn her fiddling with machines and tubes. Depicted on the wall behind her was a mirror. The reflection in the mirror was Wonder Woman at the machines. Karen hoped Rachel tore it out and gave it to the nurse. The next page was a photo of JC from the shoulders up. He was laughing. Karen could almost hear the sound as she stared at the paper.

The last one was a drawing of JC and Rachel. Karen had to flip the pad vertically to see it properly. They were drawn in the middle of the page with their arms wrapped around each other. Their heads were leaning against one another. Their smiles were huge. It warmed Karen's heart. She vowed to herself to make sure JC and Rachel both knew what they had. She sat the book on her lap and reached out taking JC's hand. "I'm telling you JC, this better make you see what's right in front of you. Whatever dance you two are doing, it's not worth it. Take the chance and tell her how you feel. I'm telling you. You won't be disappointed." She squeezed his hand and gasped loudly.

 

"What?" Roy turned away from the window.

 

"He squeezed my hand!" Karen exclaimed. "He squeezed my hand!" She tightened her hold on her son's hand and was reward when his hand squeezed hers again. "That's it JC. I knew you were a fighter. Come on," she coaxed. "You've been sleeping long enough."

 

"I'm going to get Anita," Roy said and quickly left the room.

 

"Oh sweetie," Karen could feel the tears building in her eyes. There was finally relief starting to build. She'd been on edge from the moment she caught the breaking news story on her Facebook feed.

 

"I hear someone is finally ready to join us?" Anita said with a smile as she walked in the room with Roy behind her.

 

"He keeps squeezing my hand," Karen explained. She watched Anita make note of the monitors as she logged into the computer. When she looked back at JC, she laughed seeing his eyes opened in tiny slits. "Oh there you are!" She squeezed his hand watching as he struggled to fully open his eyes. She barely noticed Roy moving next to her.

 

"Hello JC," Anita took her position at the empty side of JC's bed. "My name is Anita. I know this might seem a little confusing for you." She watched as he made eye contact with her before his gaze flittered back to his parents. She frowned when his heart rate started to rise. It wasn't abnormal. Patients were often confused when they woke.

 

"JC it's okay," Karen said calmly. "You're in the hospital. Your father and I are here." She watched as he grew more and more agitated, his eyes flickering around. She placed a comforting hand on his forehead and leaned closer. "Look at me, JC," she said firmly and waited until he brought his gaze back to hers. "You were shot and the bullet did a lot of damage." She paused when his head started moving back and forth, the movement small. It was then she noticed his mouth trying to move. "Don't try to talk sweetie. We'll get you some water as soon as you calm down. I promise. Everything is okay."

 

JC continued to shake his head. He squeezed his mother's hand as tight as he could. His eyes flickered around the room again. No one else was there. When he met his mother's gaze, he tried to plead with her to understand. It was frustrating. The words wouldn't form. He couldn't get his brain to work. Everything seemed fuzzy around the edges. He hurt. His throat felt like sandpaper every time he swallowed. His lips felt dry and cracked.

 

"Calm down, son," Roy rested a comforting hand on JC's knee. Anita slipped from the bedside to the phone where she paged the doctor. "What's he trying to say?" He asked.

 

"I'm not sure," Karen said leaned closer. "What do you need?"

 

His gaze shot to the door when it opened. A doctor walked through. JC struggled to move in the bed.

 

"No no," Karen said and placed a firm hand on JC's shoulders, careful of any wounds. "You were shot JC. You had surgery. You have a lot of injuries. Do not move. Lay still."

 

"Ray..." his tried to whisper. The words caught in his throat and came out broken.

 

"What?" Karen asked turned her head to catch what JC was trying to say.

 

"Ra...ch..." JC whispered.

 

"Rachel?" Karen repeated looking at JC. "Oh sweetie..."

In all the confusion he was feeling, JC felt his heart drop. The last thing he remembered was laying on the ground in pain with Rachel leaning over him. He had been struggling to stay awake. There had been another gun shot. Right? Why couldn't he remember what happened? Why wasn't she here?

 

"We need to get him calmed down," the doctor said. "After the reaction he had from the anesthesia, I'm not going to risk a sedative."

 

"Sweetie," Karen started. "Look at me." She put her hand back on his head, her thumb running back and forth over his forehead. "You need to calm down, okay? Rachel is okay. I promise you."

 

"That's right, JC," Anita spoke up, her voice soft and comforting. She laid her hand on his arm, careful of the IV catheter. "Rachel is okay. She's been camped out by your side from the moment you arrived. She spent the days and nights talking herself hoarse."

 

"Lance took her home yesterday." Roy said, he gave JC's knee a comforting squeeze.

 

"She was so worn down, running on fumes. She was a couple hours away from being a patient herself," Anita continued.

 

"We finally got her to leave. Lance took her home to his house where he forced her to eat and sleep. They were coming back this morning. They should be coming soon."

 

"She's... okay..." JC's eyes flicked to his mom, then to his dad. At their nods, he relaxed into his bed.

 

"You saved her."

 

*~*

"Are you okay?" Lance asked taking a seat next to his sister after Matt left.

 

"No," Rachel shook her head. She looked at Lance, her eyes filled with tears. "How could he do that?"

 

Lance shrugged his shoulders, frowning. "Guess he was trying to do anything he could to save his marriage."

 

"Why didn't he tell us what was going on?"

 

"He was freaked out. He was trying to stay afloat. He was just trying to buy himself time before the inevitable. You know stuff like that doesn't stay hidden, especially in LA. It was only a matter of time before Renee found out."

 

"What have I done?" Rachel whispered.

 

"You didn't do anything," Lance said.

 

"I took off Lance. I didn't give JC a chance to explain. I just left. I ignored his phone calls and text messages. I deleted them without listening or reading. He had no idea... He had no idea what was going on."

 

"It's not your fault." Lance said firmly.

 

"I must have hurt him. Oh God," she buried her face in her hands. This whole time she was consumed with the hurt she was feeling. She had disregarded everyone's words about JC. Melissa had told her he looked like shit. Matt had told her he was in a bad place. Not to mention what Jimmy and Lance had told her and what she saw for herself when she had finally come face to face with him. She should have realized something was wrong.  

 

"You were hurting too," Lance wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. "This is such a fucked up situation Rachel. Nobody won. Not you. Not JC. Not Matt or Renee. Not even Addison."

 

"How am I supposed to face him knowing what I did?"

 

"Oh no," Lance said, shaking his head. "You are going back to that hospital. You were just as manipulated as his words on that voicemail."

 

The ringing of Rachel's phone broke up the conversation. Her bag lay on the coffee table in front of her where she laid it after leading Matt into the room. She reached for the bag and withdrew her phone from inside. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. "It's Karen."

 

"Answer it." Lance told her. "We were supposed to be there already. She's probably just checking in wondering where we are."

 

Rachel swallowed roughly and tapped the button on her phone and put it to her ear. "Hello?"

 

"Rachel!"

 

Rachel's hand immediately sought Lance's and gripped it tightly hearing Karen's tearful voice. Her eyes filled with tears. "Karen? What's wrong? What's going on?"

 

"It's JC." Karen cried. "Oh he woke up!"

 

"What?" Rachel gasped, unable to believe what she was hearing. She could feel Lance's gaze on her, but she was unable to look at him.

 

"He woke up! He's awake." Karen laughed through her tears. She turned away from the window to look back at JC. He was sleeping now. The doctor had told them to not expect him to be really alert for the next day or so. He'd wake up in spurts. There would be confusion and they'd have to repeat a lot of information they had told him previously. "Rachel? Are you there?" Karen asked when she didn't hear any response from the woman.

 

"I'm here... I can't... I don't..."

 

"I know you wanted to be here," Karen told her. "It was rough for him coming out of it. His heart rate started rising and his blood pressure. He was getting agitated. A couple of times he actually tried to sit up. I was finally able to understand what was going on. He was worried about you. He was trying to say your name. He thought something happened to you. We finally got him calmed down. Doctor says everything looks really good. Now that JC's awake, the prognosis really turned around."

 

"He's okay?" Rachel whispered unable to comprehend.

 

"He's okay, Rachel. He's truly okay."

 

"What's going on?" Lance asked immediately when Rachel hung up the phone. "What did Karen say? Is JC okay?"

 

"He's awake," Rachel whispered, turning to look at Lance. "He's awake." The sobs broke free and she buried her face in her hands and cried. She let herself be pulled into Lance's embrace.

 

"This is good news!" Lance exclaimed, laughter bubbling up. "This is amazing! Why the hell did you make it seem like it was bad news? Jesus Rachel, the way you reacted I thought something bad happened." He could feel the weight lifting from his shoulders. "Did something happen?"

"He was agitated. He tried to get up from the bed."

 

"Maybe he was scared and didn't know what was going on?"

 

"It's because I wasn't there," Rachel said. "He was trying to say my name. He was agitated because he thought something had happened to me; that I got hurt."

 

"Shhh," Lance pulled Rachel back in to a hug. "It's okay."

"It's not," Rachel lifted her head to meet Lance's eyes. "I wasn't there. I wasn't there when he needed me."

 

"Come on, if you had stayed by his bed for one more hour, you would have been put in a matching gown and room. You needed to take a break. You needed to eat something. You needed to sleep," Lance reasoned with her.  "You were about ready to fall out of that chair. You had nothing left to give."

 

"I should have been back. I should have been there when he woke up. If I hadn't forgotten my ID. If Matt-"

 

Lance cut his sister off. "If Matt hadn't come over, you wouldn't have the answers to the questions you had. I'm sorry you weren't there when JC woke up. In a perfect world, you would have been the first person he saw. But he wasn't alone, okay? His parents were there."

 

"He wanted me."

 

Lance chuckled. "He's gonna have you for the next 60 years because you're gonna clear this mess up. You're gonna tell him how you feel. Then you and JC are gonna give me more nieces and nephews to spoil."

 

Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "You make it sound so easy."

 

"It is easy." Lance gripped her upper arms giving her a small shake. "You've been in love with him forever. He's been in love with you for just as long. The man just took a bullet for you. For God's sake Rachel, put him out of his misery."

Rachel walked with trepidation down the hallway on the ICU ward toward JC's room. After days of not knowing whether JC was going to live or die, she couldn't quite make herself believe that he was okay. Waking up had tipped his prognosis in the opposite direction. Her days had been filled with trying to come to terms with the fact that she might not have JC in her life anymore. After being in each others lives for so many years, she realized it was difficult to imagine him not being there.

 

"Smile!" Lance told her. "You look like you're going to face a firing squad!"

 

"I'm nervous. I just... I can't believe..."

 

"Believe it!" Anita said with a wide grin from her spot behind the nurse's station. "Of all days he decides to wake up... I bet it was because he didn't hear your voice."

 

"After talking to him for nearly four days nonstop, it was probably concerning not to hear her anymore. He had to wake up and check it out," Michael smiled. The news had brought tremendous relief. While Lance was strong in front of his sister, behind closed doors he wasn't so strong. Michael had comforted him many times while Lance's emotions about one of his best friends bubbled over.

 

"You should have left days ago," Lance teased his sister.

 

"I don't know about that," Anita cut in, the smile staying on her face. She was happy this story would have a happy ending. Too many times that was the case in her line of work. "I'm a firm believer in talking to patients. From the moment I met Rachel, I knew they had something special. If anyone was going to pull him out of this, it was going to be her."

 

Rachel blushed hearing Anita's words. "You give me too much credit."

 

"No, she just sees what everyone else has seen from the very beginning." Lance told Rachel. "You and JC belong together."

 

"You're not together?" Anita gasped staring at the woman. "No way... you guys are pulling my chain."

 

"Nope," Michael shook his head. "They are not together."

 

"What are you waiting on?"

 

Lance and Michael laughed. "We have been asking her that question for years," Lance said. "Hopefully that will all change in the next few minutes."

 

"You've got nothing to worry about," Anita smiled at Rachel. "If he could, he'd get up out of that bed to find you. I know he's tired, but he's still hanging in there waiting for you to show up."

 

"Don't keep him waiting," Lance nudged Rachel forward.

 

"You're not coming in?" Rachel looked at Lance.

 

Lance shook his head. "You need to go in there."

 

Rachel took a deep breath and let it out slowly before walking down the hall to JC's room. The door was cracked, not pulled tightly shut. She closed her eyes feeling them fill with tears before she could even make it to the room. Lifting her hand, she pushed the door open. She barely noticed Roy and Karen turn their heads to look at the door from their spot by JC's bedside. She didn't notice anything in the room. She stared at the figure laying in the bed as she had many hours before. This time was different though. This time blue eyes stared back at her.

 

"Rachel..." JC whispered staring at her in the doorway. His mom told him she was fine. His dad told him she was fine. The nurse also told him she was fine. He couldn't let himself believe it until he saw her. Waking up not seeing her had scared him. The pain in his heart was worst than the pain he felt from his injuries thinking that Rachel had been injured. She was here. She was wearing his black zip up hoodie that he thought was in his bedroom. Least that's what he remembered. His memory was fuzzy. The doctor said that will clear up over the next day. He'd be more alert as the hours passed.

 

"JC..." A laughing cry bubbled up and escaped as she quickly crossed the room. Karen and Roy slipped from the room to give them privacy. She reached for his hand, holding it tightly. There was finally a pressure against her hold; a hand holding hers just as tightly. "JC..." She cupped his face with her free hand, brushing her thumb back and forth over his cheek.

 

"You're okay?" JC whispered. The hold he had on her hand was tight. He wasn't letting go.

 

"I'm okay." She whispered just as softly. "Thanks to you." She closed her eyes as tears slipped free and slid down her cheeks. "I'm so glad you're awake."

 

"Rachel..." He whispered, squeezing her hand. He could feel the tears in his own eyes.

 

She opened her eyes to stare back in to his; hers glossy with tears. His were as well. "I was so scared... there was so much blood...I..." her voice broke and she closed her eyes once again. She removed the hand from his face and covered her mouth as she fought to control her emotions.

 

"I'm okay..." JC felt his own tears slip free as he lost the battle. "Missing a few pieces... got a few extras holes..." The doctor had explained his injuries and the steps that had to be taken to ensure he didn't die. He was sure he would ask again later when he was more with it for the explanation again and what it all meant for him down the road. He had one thing on his mind when he woke up and that was Rachel.

 

"I liked all your pieces where they were." Rachel sniffled. She used the cuff of the hoodie to wipe away the tears. She put her hand on his cheek again and brushed her thumb back and forth again before ducking her head. She leaned her forehead against his, her eyes closing. Fingers tangled in her hair, cupping the back of her head and held her more firmly against him. She opened her eyes and whispered, "You saved me."

 

JC opened his eyes and met her gaze. "I love you." A sob escaped and he watched her eyes close. Tears rolled from her cheeks dropping onto his face. Her hand squeezed his tightly. "I would do it all over again if it meant saving you."

 

"God JC," Rachel moved her head to his shoulder. He dropped her hand and gingerly moved to wrap his arms around her. She pressed her face against his neck. Using the hand on the bed, she kept her weight off him. She took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier... I should have been here."

 

"No," JC whispered. "Don't apologize." His left hand splayed across the small of her back. His right hand was still tangled in her hair, holding her head where it was. Even with her holding her weight off him, he could feel the pull of the wounds and knew he wouldn't last too much longer before he had to settle his right arm back onto the bed or at least into a position that didn't cause too much strain. "Mom said you'd been here the whole time."

"I couldn't leave," she whispered and drew back to look JC in the eyes. His hand fell from her hair back to his side. She could see a wave of pain cross his face. "Do I need to get Anita? Are you okay?"

 

"I'm okay." He watched as Rachel moved to sit on the edge of the bed at his waist. When he was able, he laid his hand on her thigh. She immediately put her hand over his and he turned his over. She threaded their fingers together.

 

"I was afraid if I'd leave, you'd die..." Rachel whispered, staring down at their entwined hands. "After everything that's happened..." She used her free hand and wiped away a stray tear before meeting JC's gaze again. "It was almost too late."

 

"Too late for what?"

 

"I love you, JC." Rachel held JC's gaze as she said the words and saw when the words sunk in. She watched as his eyes widen. She watched as his lips parted slightly before curving in to a smile. She felt his hand tightened in hers. "There is so much we have to talk about and we will... I just... I just needed to say that. I needed you to know."

 

JC broke the hold he had on her hand and lifted his hand toward her face. His fingertips just brushed against her jaw. "C'mere," he said. Rachel shifted forward and he was able to palm her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut at his touch. He ran the back of his fingers over her cheek before threading his fingers into her hair. Cupping her head, he drew her down to him. Her left hand moved to his face where she copied his earlier move, palming his cheek. "I love you," he whispered before he touched his lips to hers in their first kiss.

 

‘Lance was right,' Rachel thought as her lips moved gently with JC's. ‘This is easy.' When the kiss broke, she rested her forehead against his with her eyes closed. "We were so close to never figuring this out."

 

"But we did." Her right hand come up to his wrist and she slid her fingers along his until they threaded with his fingers in her hair. She pulled his hand away and leaned up. When she kissed his knuckles he smiled softly.

 

"Ready or not, we're coming in," Lance said as he pushed the door open. The smile on his face widened when he saw the scene in front of him. "Let me be the first to say, it's about fucking time."

 

"I second that," Karen said, her heart happy. She wiped a tear.

 

"It is so good to see you awake man," Lance moved to the open side of JC's bed. He took his hand giving it a squeeze. "I think I aged ten years over the last five days. You ever do this again..."

 

"I didn't plan on doing it this time," JC said dryly. "But if I have to..."

 

Lance could see the emotion in JC's eyes and he understood completely. Given the opportunity, he would sacrifice himself to save Michael. "Don't think this gets you out of singing at my wedding."

 

JC grimaced as he laughed. The movement pulled at the incisions. "Don't make me laugh."

 

"Like laughing hurts worse than kissing my sister."

 

"Incentives are a helluva better to push through the pain."

 

Lance laughed. "I bet they are. To show you what a fantastic friend I am, I'm going to pass along the good news."

"You just wanna find out if you won the pool." Michael said.

 

"What pool?" Rachel asked, looking at her brother. She hadn't moved from JC's side. She sat on the bed at his waist, still holding his hand with both of hers.

 

"When you guys would finally figure it out." Lance grinned.

 

"You bet on us? Are you kidding?" JC asked in disbelief. "Who?"

 

"Me, Michael, Joey, Lisa, Chris, Matt, Eric, Jimmy..." Lance started naming names of the people he knew were in the pool.

 

"Lauren, my parents," Michael chimed in. "Diane, Stacy..."

 

"Me," Karen spoke up from her position at the end of the bed. "Tyler, Heather..."

 

"Are you kidding me?" Rachel asked.

 

Lance shook his head, laughing. "Nope. Pretty much anyone who has ever met either one of you..."

 

"Hung out with you guys for five minutes," Michael interrupted chuckling.

 

Lance nodded. "Yup. Basically anyone who has ever crossed paths with you has tossed money in."

 

"How long has this been going on and who started it?" Rachel narrowed her eyes at her brother.

 

"How long has the pool be going on? Oh jeez. Since 2000?" He laughed at the looks on Rachel's and JC's faces. "So many crew members tossed their money in. Our bus drivers... Lonnie, Mike, Melinda, Johnny... man."

 

"Since 2000?" Rachel whispered shocked. She hadn't even been aware of her feelings for JC back then. She wasn't even sure if she even had any feelings for him that went deeper than friendship.

 

"Joey started it."

 

"Of course he did," JC shook his head and rolled his eyes. He squeezed Rachel's hand causing her to look at him. When she did, he sent her a small smile and a wink. "Do we get a cut?"

 

"Fuck no. After making us wait all this time?" Lance laughed.

 

"How can you carry this on for fourteen years?" Rachel asked. She was kind of upset that apparently all of her friends and family members were betting on her love life.

 

"It was fairly easy," Lance shrugged. "Early on we were picking days and weeks. Then it was months. Last few years people were picking years. Some people even said never. After all this time they gave up hope that you guys would ever see what was right in front of your faces."

 

"Who?"

 

Lance laughed at JC's question. "I am not even going there."

 

It didn't take long before exhaustion crept in. JC couldn't hold back the yawns or the long blinks anymore. He had been fighting through it as long as he could. From the moment he had waken, he had been fighting to stay awake. He had needed to see Rachel. That had been his motivation in staying awake earlier. Rachel had been on her way and he needed to see her. Then she was there and he needed to stay awake to be with her. Now, it was too much. It was harder to push back. Fatigue crept around the edges.

 

"You should sleep," Rachel said, noticing JC's eyes closing longer and longer each blink. He had also grown quieter as the conversation went on around him. While he quieted, his thumb still caressed the back of her hand. It moved back and forth over the skin never stopping.

 

"Yes," Karen agreed seeing the worn out expression on JC's face. "You get some rest. Your father and I are headed back to Lance's. We were here all night last night." She moved up to JC's side, when Rachel cleared the way.

 

"Thank you for being here," JC whispered turning his head for his mother to kiss his cheek.

 

"There is no where else I would be," Karen told him, squeezing his hand before giving it a pat. "We'll be back tomorrow."

 

"I'll be back later," Lance told JC after Roy had said good bye to his son and they moved to gather their things. "I'll bring Joey and Chris so rest up."

 

"Chris is in town?" JC asked surprised.

 

"He's been crashing at Joey's since you've been here."

 

"You left them unsupervised?" JC asked to cover up the emotions he felt at Chris coming to California for him.

 

"LA will be feeling the effects for years to come," Lance laughed. "If you need me to bring anything, just send me a message," he told his sister. "I'll be back around dinner. Let me know what you want. If you don't, you're gonna get what I get you and you're gonna eat it."

"Yes Dad," Rachel rolled her eyes. She said her goodbyes and watched as they filed out of the room, leaving her alone with JC. When she looked back at the bed, she smiled softly seeing his eyes closed. She moved to the window and pulled the blinds closed, blocking out the afternoon sunlight.  Then she moved to the door and turned off the lights. Turning back to the bed, she saw his eyes were open and he was watching her. "I can't get it any darker in here," she apologized.

 

"It's fine." JC lifted his hand, reaching for her. She walked back to the bed and took his hand, moving back to his side. "I'm so glad you stayed."

 

"I am not going anywhere," Rachel promised. "I'll leave this hospital when you can be by my side. There is no where else I'd rather be than right here with you."

 

JC's lips curved in a small smile before exhaustion pulled them down. He squeezed her hand. "I love you."

 

Rachel's smile was wide and bright at his words. "I love you." She leaned down and kissed him. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

 

"Do me a favor?" JC's words were slurred with exhaustion. His eyes were closed; too heavy to keep open.

 

"Anything." Rachel brushed the hair off his forehead.

 

"Draw a happy photo this time."

 

Rachel was confused at first. Then she looked and saw the drawing pad resting on the bed trey. The drawings inside flashed through her mind and she cringed. Some were happy, but most were not. She hadn't thought to grab it when she left yesterday. The thought of Karen and Roy seeing... of showing JC... She looked back down at JC. His eyes were open and she could see how he was struggling to keep them open. "I will. I promise."

 

"Of us."

 

Rachel pressed another kiss against his lips. "Of us."

"Sorry we are late," Lance said as he pushed opened the door to JC's room. "Would have been here sooner but..."

 

"Oh my God, I'm gonna marry her." Chris proclaimed as he walked in to hospital room carrying a plastic bag.

 

"They came with me to Decadence," Lance filled Rachel and JC in. "They both made a complete and total fool of themselves vying for Melissa's attention."

 

"She had them eating from the palm of her hand," Michael laughed as he sat another plastic bag on the table. "She sent the biggest slice of strawberry pie just for you."

 

"That's not the only place I'd eat it from," Joey said with a grin. "Why have you been hiding her from me?"

 

"She was waiting to introduce her to me," Chris said as he sat his bag down. "Come here, you." He scooped Rachel up in a crushing hug. "Of course if you want to go back to Florida with me..."

 

Rachel laughed as she hugged Chris. The last time she had seen him was last August in New York. The group had joined Justin at the VMAs where he had been receiving a special award. They had joined Justin on stage for a small reunion performance. "Sorry Chris."

 

"Of course," Chris sighed and rolled his eyes, the grin still on his face as he moved to JC's side. "How you doing man?"

 

"Feel like I could run a marathon."

 

"You couldn't run a marathon before this," Joey laughed as he moved to JC's other side. "But I'll sign you up for the Disney marathon in January. We can run it together."

 

"The fuck you will."

 

"Even full of holes and misses pieces, you'd probably beat his fat ass," Chris chuckled. "Here I thought Timberlake attracted the crazies. Thanks for ruining it for all us single guys, by the way. All the ladies are going to be waiting for us to take a bullet for them..."

 

"Since when do you date ladies?" JC grinned.

 

Chris laughed. "I suppose I should start huh? Find a Mrs. Kirkpatrick."

 

"She'd have to be a saint to put up with you," Lance teased as he pulled the cartons of Chinese foods from the bag.

 

"What are Melissa's religious views?"

 

Rachel laughed. "Judging from the fact that her bakery indulges in half of the seven deadly sins..."

 

"My kind of girl," Chris grinned. "Can I get her number?"

 

"She'd chew you up and spit you out."

 

"Please stop," Chris put his hand over his heart. "You're making me fall more and more in love with her."

 

"You need to get laid."

 

"I was trying!"

 

"We were coming to see JC."

 

"He's not going anywhere!" Chris turned away from Lance to look at JC. "Right? You don't plan on dying now, do you?"

 

JC shook his head. "Not planning on it."

 

"Well it sucks for you that she lives here in California and you don't." Joey grinned. "But I do."

 

"Minor details." Chris said, brushing him off.

 

"Has the doctor given any updates?" Lance asked his sister while Chris and Joey argued.

 

"He was here right before you guys came," Rachel took a bite of the pork fried rice Lance had gotten her. "He's really pleased. Said tomorrow they'll remove the catheter in the morning and start getting him up. He'll be on a liquid diet. He might be able to be moved to a regular room on Sunday."

 

"That's great news!" Lance said with a huge grin.

 

"They're talking about being able to go home in a week."

 

"Holy shit! That's awesome!"

 

"Any linger effects from his missing pieces?"

 

Rachel stared at JC who was talking and laughing with Joey and Chris. She looked back at Lance. "There's a laundry list of complications that could happen, but he'll be in the hospital being monitored incase any arise. He could be prone to infections without his spleen but he won't need to take antibiotics every day.  In a couple of weeks, if he's not in the hospital, he'll have to go get vaccinations to fight against pneumonia, meningitis, a few others."

 

"Oh, poor C," Lance grimaced thinking of the vaccinations. It was well known by everyone that JC was afraid of needles.

 

"If he travels out of the country, he'll need to take antibiotics with him just in case."

 

"What about your trip to Europe?" Michael asked. "That was October right?"

 

Rachel nodded. "I don't know. He's looking to at least six weeks of recovery."

 

"Who's going to Europe?" Joey asked, interrupting their conversation. He reached in Lance's container and grabbed a shrimp from his fried rice.

 

"Get your own food man. You ordered enough." Lance glared at him, holding his food out of reach.

 

"I didn't order shrimp." Joey shrugged and grabbed the container of beef lo mein. "Who's going to Europe? Is that where you're going for your honeymoon?"

 

"That's where JC and Rachel are going. Laid up in the hospital and he was still able to get a birthday present. Meanwhile my sister can't even get me one."

 

"I told you," Rachel rolled her eyes. "It's at the house."

 

"No it's not." JC spoke up listening to the conversation.

 

"What do you mean it's not at the house?" Rachel asked, looking at JC.

 

"I took it to that place on Beverly Monday or something. I can't remember." JC still wasn't sure on the days yet. He wasn't even positive what the day was.

 

"What?" Rachel whispered. While she had been dodging her mother's questions, JC had been taking her birthday present for Lance to her favorite framing shop with no idea of knowing she hadn't planned on coming back.

 

"I'm assuming it's still there."

 

"Why would you do that?"

 

"I figured I'd take it so it would be finished before the party. Lance would have been shocked as shit to see his present finished on time."

 

"Unlike last year where you made me wait until June," Lance grinned. "One of these years, you'll actually give it to me on time."

 

"I don't recall getting a present from you." Rachel sent Lance a look.

 

"It's at the house. Though considering JC got you a two week vacation in Europe, I think I'm gonna have to get you something else."

 

"Two week vacation in Europe?" Chris repeated. "Damn," he whistled. "You gonna put him out of his misery yet? What's the man gotta do for you to see that he loves you?" His eyes narrowed when he saw the look Rachel sent JC. "What a minute..." he looked at Rachel then at JC, then back to Rachel. "Have you guys figured it out?"

 

JC laughed and reached for Rachel's hand when she moved next to him. "Yes."

 

"My God, it's a miracle!" Chris exclaimed. "Holy fucking shit! Wait! Who won the pool? Pull it up Joey." Joey was already on his phone tapping buttons. "When did you guys figure it out?"

 

"Let me see that," Rachel tried to snatch Joey's phone from his hand, but Chris blocked her.

 

"I can't hold her off forever!" Chris called as he stepped with Rachel not allowing her to get around him. He held his arms out as they danced, him warding her off.

 

"When did you guys figure it out?" Joey asked as he pulled up the spreadsheet for the month of April.

 

"Today." Lance supplied grinning. He looked over Joey's shoulder as he switched to the month of May. "Son of a bitch." He sighed seeing the name on the block.

 

"Did I win?" Chris asked turning around.

 

"No. Jimmy did."

 

*~*

 

"I'm exhausted." Rachel said as Chris, Joey, Lance, and Michael left.

 

"So am I and I just laid here." JC chuckled as he watched Rachel clean up the empty Chinese food containers. "I always forget how exhausting Chris can be." He could feel the fatigue settling in and knew it wouldn't be long before he fell asleep. "Hey, come here."

 

Rachel dropped the last of the containers into the trash wishing she had them remove the trash when they left. "Do you need something?" She asked, sitting down on the bed at his waist. "I probably should have told them it was a bad idea for them both to be here. They have been just as worried..."

 

"No, it's fine." JC took her hand in his, running his thumb over the back of her hand. "You know about the Europe trip? You got my card?"

 

Rachel nodded, looking down at their hands. "This morning. Lance saw it in my room and grabbed it. I can't believe you planned an entire vacation for us."

 

"Planned it for you. But I was hoping you'd want to take me."

 

"Who else would I want to go with?" Rachel asked, raising her head to look at him. "You're the only one I want to go with."

 

JC smiled and squeezed her hand at her words. "I wasn't so sure after everything..."

 

"Maybe we should talk," Rachel sighed. "I come out really really bad in this..."

 

"Hey..."

 

"Matt stopped by Lance's today. That's why I wasn't here when you woke up. Before I came back, I had to go to the police station and give my statement about what happened. I needed to go to the house and find your wallet..." She looked down at their hands again. His thumb continued to move back and forth across hers. "I couldn't even walk in the house. I just... I don't know. Couldn't go in. I sat on the bench trying to breathe... Lance had to go in." She paused, feeling a lump rise in her throat. "We made it all the way to the hospital before I realized I forgot my ID. We had to go back to Lance's and get it. Before we could leave, Matt showed up..."

 

JC squeezed Rachel's hand. "That voicemail on your phone? It was fake. Matt manipulated a conversation we had." There was pain as he thought about what his best friend had done. When Rachel raised his head and looked at him, he saw her eyes full of tears.

 

"I should have known that..."

 

"Rachel..."

 

"What kind of friend does that make me? I just heard you... heard you say... and immediately assumed it was the truth? After all our years of friendship, after everything we've been through together...but it hurt so much. I should have confronted you. I should have been waiting. I just ran... I didn't give you a chance to explain."

 

"Hey," JC tugged on Rachel's hand. When she leaned forward he dropped her hand and threaded his hand through her hair. Using that hand, he pulled her down. When she was close enough, he raised his other hand to her face. He couldn't wait to be able to fully sit up in bed. He couldn't wait until he would be able to pull her into his arms. "Don't blame yourself. I should have tried harder to figure out what was wrong."

 

"It's not your fault. You were innocent in all this. If I had just mentioned the voicemail just once..." Rachel pulled away and stood up. "If I just said something, you wouldn't have gotten shot and almost died. What if you would have died? What if you had died that day and I spent the last two weeks angry with you. That would have been the last memories I had of you. Angry with you over something you didn't even do."

 

"But I didn't die," JC said, his heart breaking. "Rachel don't do this. I didn't die. I'm right here."

 

"I know," Rachel looked at him with tears in her eyes. "But I can still see you laying on the ground bleeding. I thought you were going to die. And there was nothing I could do. I kept begging you to hold on. I kept trying to stop the bleeding. And you're telling me you love me..." She wiped the tears on her cheeks with her fingers.

 

"Please come here," JC pleaded, lifting his hand in her direction. He wished he could climb from the bed and go to her.  He grabbed the remote for his bed and pressed the button that would raise his head. He hadn't been able to raise it much before he felt the twinge from the incisions on his chest and abdomen.

 

"Hey," Rachel moved back to his side. She placed one hand over his on the bed and the other on his forehead. "Easy. You're being held together with glue and thread."

 

"Then please stay with me." JC grabbed her hand, holding it tightly, hoping that would keep her next to him. "I'm not going to apologize for protecting you. I'll do it again. I'll do it every time no matter the outcome if it means keeping you safe."

 

"I hope you never have to do it again." Rachel whispered as she trailed her fingers down his cheek over the stubble from a couple days growth. She leaned down and kissed him.

 

"Lay with me." JC whispered.

 

"I don't think..." Rachel looked down at JC, her eyes flickering over his body where the hidden wounds lay. "Not a good idea. I don't want to accidentally bump an incision.""

 

"Please?" JC pleaded. He let go of Rachel's hand. He put that hand on the bed he pressed down using the strength that he had to try and move to his right to allow Rachel to have more room on his left side. His left arm was free of wires while his right still had the IV. The doctors told him tomorrow they would likely unhook the IV, leaving the needle in his arm just in case.

 

"What are... stop." Rachel placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to stop his movements. "Are you trying to hurt yourself more?"

 

"Then lay with me," JC repeated. He lifted his left arm, holding it out to his side, offering up the space.

 

"Only if you promise to tell me if you start hurting." Rachel toed off her shoes and sat down on the bed. Gingerly she brought her feet up and laid down, her head cradled on his shoulder. She kept her arm on her side instead of wrapping it across his waist.

 

"Relax," JC said with a chuckle bringing his arm up to rest his hand on her hip. He let his head rest against hers. "I'm not gonna break."

 

"I don't want to hurt you."

 

"You won't." He pressed a kiss to her head, a smile on his lips feeling her shift closer to him. Her left arm come across his body, low on his waist below the surgical incision. Her leg came to rest against his leg with her ankle crossing his. He tightened his arm around her, grimacing when there was pressure against the chest tube incision.

 

"JC..."

 

"No," JC held tight, not allowing her to move. If she wanted to break the hold, she could easily get away. He didn't have the strength. He was thankful she made no move to move away. "It's alright." He kissed her head when he felt her relax into him. His eyes closed and he couldn't wait to be able to hold her like this outside of the hospital when he was healed. Then she could snuggle into his side and drape all over him.  His fingers moved back and forth over her hip. With the pulse ox gone from his right index finger, he moved his arm to reach her fingers.  He held them lightly. "When I get out of here, we'll celebrate your birthday."

 

"You getting out of here is celebration enough."

 

"You didn't even get to enjoy your party did you?"

 

Rachel shook her head. "The party never happened. Lance and I spent the rest of the day and into the early morning hours in the waiting room. I didn't want to go anyway."

 

JC had planned a lot of the party details along with Lisa, Lance's personal assistant. The event was a lot of fun each year. Their friends always looked forward to it. "Next year's party will be better. We can keep the same theme or come up with something different. What?" He asked when he heard her chuckle.

 

"Anita said we should talk to you. That it would help. Your dad said I needed to start an argument. That you wouldn't pass up the opportunity. So I told you for my birthday party next year, we'd make it a Star Wars theme..."

 

"No." JC said, cutting her off.

 

"What? I didn't even tell you what I'd do."

 

"You don't need to. I already know."

 

"No you don't."

 

"You'll show up as someone from Star Trek then argue with me all night how it's the same thing."

 

"So maybe you do know." Rachel giggled lightly.

 

"Did you spend the whole time trying to push my buttons?"

 

"No," Rachel shook her head. "But you do have a lot of them."

 

"You created most of them."

 

Rachel didn't even bother to argue the point. "I talked about other things... memories"

 

"Like what?"

 

"You taking me to see Mamma Mia."

 

JC smiled at the memory. That had been the birth of Rachel's love for Broadway. They had seen so many shows together since then. "That was a fun time." The group had just come off their final tour, Celebrity, when he'd taken her to New York. He hadn't even given serious thought to a solo attempt. It had been a late birthday present. Lance had been going through medical testing - even having heart surgery - before he would head to Russia to train to become a cosmonaut for his ill fated attempt to go to the International Space Station that November. Lance leaving had left Rachel all alone in their house in Orlando. The trip to New York for the show had been his attempt to make her feel better with Lance gone.

 

It had been those summer months where he and Rachel had gotten closer together. Lance leaving had been the foundation their close friendship started on. Lance had even commented on their newfound closeness when they flew to Houston to see him at Johnson's Space Center. When Lance returned to stateside permanently a month later, their relationship hadn't been affected.

 

"Then there was that time you drug me skiing in 2006." Rachel continued, letting her eyes drift close. She moved her hand from his and put it back across his waist where she let it rest so she could move her fingers back in forth in short caressing strokes.

 

"You've gotten a lot better at skiing since then." It had been the perfect get away at the right time surrounded by the right people. He had high expectations for his solo record and couldn't wait to start touring. 2004 and 2005 had been filled with crazy highs and some of the lowest of lows for him. 2005 had ended with him breaking up with Eva Longoria whom he had dated since 2003 after he had found out she had been cheating on him. A few of his friends had put together a ski trip to Colorado for January of 2006. Eva was suppose to go with him. Not wanting to be the odd man out while everyone else was paired up, he had dragged Rachel along.

 

"I would hope so. I couldn't get any worse," Rachel said dryly.

 

"That trip was probably when I first recognized my feelings for you." JC confessed.

 

"What?" Rachel lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him. His eyes opened at the movement. "How? I was a major pain in the ass."

 

"You are always a major pain in the ass." He brought his left hand up to the back of her head and pushed her back down to his shoulder. "That day was the best day of the whole trip."

 

"Better than when Tyler found that karaoke bar?" She laughed when JC groaned.

 

"We agreed to never speak of that night."

 

"But it was the best rendition of ‘Baby Got Back' I have ever heard." She giggled and squirmed when JC's fingers dug in to her side. "If only our phones back then had the capabilities they do now."

 

"Thank God they didn't." Thankfully there were no videos from his performance. It took months for the teasing and jokes to die down. When they had returned home, Rachel's ringtone for the next week had been ‘Baby Got Back' until he had chased her down. Even now, all these years later, jokes still pop up. "We walked through town, going through all the shops. You wouldn't let me buy you anything no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't even pay for your rental skates."

 

"I didn't need you buy me things. I don't need you to buy me things. That's not why we are friends."

 

"I know," JC pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "Doesn't mean I don't want to. We spent hours in the skating rink. We closed it down. We made so many laps around with you holding on to me for dear life."

 

"If I was going down, I was bringing you with me." She laughed.

 

"You did bring me with you!" Rachel had gotten braver the longer they skated without her having an issue. Then she attempted to do some type of movement. Struggling to regain her balance she reached for him causing them both to fall to the ice in a tangled mess. They spent a good ten minutes laying on the ice laughing. When they gathered themselves, she tucked her arm back through his and they continued making laps. "As we were going back to the car, drinking the hot chocolate you graciously let me buy for you, I realized I had a better time with you in those few hours than I had the whole time I was with Eva."

 

Rachel tilted her head up allowing him to kiss her. When the kiss broke, she carefully pushed herself up from the bed and put her feet to the floor.

 

"What are you doing?" JC asked as she moved away from the bed. He was unable to stop her. He watched as she grabbed the drawing pad from the bed tray, flipping through the pages. He tried not to think of some of the drawings on the pages that his mom had showed him as proof that Rachel had been fine and not injured like he thought when he woke up.

 

"You wanted me to draw a happy picture of us," Rachel flipped the pages along the spiral ring, tucking them on the bottom until she find the one she was looking for. She turned the pad around and held it out for JC to see. Rachel had drawn the day JC had just been talking about. They were side by side, her arm tucked through his, toboggans on their heads, scarves around their necks, heavy ski jackets on their bodies, skates on their feet, and huge grins on their faces.

 

JC smiled as he took the pad from Rachel and stared at the photo. "I want this."

 

"You want it?" Rachel repeated confused.

 

"Yes. I want to hang it up at the house."

 

"Okay. I'll redo it on a canvas..."

 

JC shook his head. "No. I want this one."

 

"JC... it's not even that good." Rachel protested. "I didn't add anything into the background. I rushed through the sketch sitting here. I can do it on the canvas and add the stores in the background, other skaters. Do it in color."

 

"No." He shook his head again. "This one. Exactly like it is."

 

"Okay, if you say so." She took the pad back from JC and flipped it closed before putting it back on the trey.

 

"I do. Now," he held his arm back out toward her. "Come back up here."

 

"You should get some sleep."

 

"I will." He wiggled his fingers until she grasped his hand again. "Come on," he pleaded and grinned when Rachel gave in, climbing back up onto the bed. She laid back at his side, her head on his shoulder. Her arm went back across his waist, below his incision. Instead of resting his hand at her hip, he bent his arm up to run his fingers through her hair. "I like the jacket."

 

"Lance grabbed it for me. Said he thought it would be comforting. He's such a girl sometimes."

 

"Is it working?" JC whispered, his eyes falling close.

 

"It was," Rachel said softly as she relaxed. "But this is much better."

 

Bethany opened the door at midnight needing to get vitals. She paused inside the door at the scene in front of her. A soft smile graced her lips seeing Rachel curled at JC's side; JC's head resting against hers. She could hardly believe it when Anita told her these two hadn't been in a relationship during shift change. That had certainly changed today. She was going to miss JC's family when he was moved out of ICU, but she was happy he was getting better. Tomorrow would be rough for him. Anita's job was to get him up and walking, often. It was going to be tough for JC, but getting him vertical would help him heal faster.

 

She hated to disturb the scene in front of her, but she couldn't skip the vitals. Going to JC's free side, she reached out and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes blinked open and she smiled softly seeing the confusion. "It's Bethany," she whispered. "I'm your night shift nurse," she explained again. She had introduced herself when she came on shift and had been in and out of the room plenty of times. Night vital signs usually brought confusion for her patients having been woken up. "I'm gonna check your vitals."

 

JC shifted his head away from Rachel's and nodded. During sleep, she had brought her arm from across his waist and tucked it against her chest. He frowned slightly wondering if she was cold. All she had on was a pair of yoga pants, a white t-shirt, and his black zip up hoodie.

 

"You okay?" Bethany whispered as she swiped the thermometer across his forehead, noting his temperature. She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his right arm, careful of the IV tubing. Usually she'd take his blood pressure on his left arm, but it was otherwise occupied. The last thing she wanted to do was disturb the woman sleeping. She had been happy to learn Rachel had been persuaded to leave yesterday and rest. "Are you in any pain?"

 

"Not so much pain. Just discomfort."

 

Bethany nodded, writing the blood pressure reading down. "Just gonna check your wounds. Then I'll be all done." She slowly pulled the blanket down, the movement hindered by Rachel laying on one side. She had to angle it down and push them back across his body in order to reveal the spot where the chest tube had been. The gown JC wore had the opening to the front to allow them to better check his wounds and still provide some measure of privacy. She checked the wounds for swelling, puffiness, redness, and discharge. "It's looking real good, JC. Healing nicely." She pulled the gown close and pulled the blankets back up, settling them across his chest. She fixed the tubing and untangled the control button, putting it back within his reach. "Remember, you just press this button and you'll dispense more pain medication. You don't have to worry about overdosing. It will only allow you to give yourself so much. Can I get you anything?"

 

"An extra blanket?"

 

"You got it," Bethany smiled and fetched another blanket from the linen closet. When she returned she laid it over Rachel. "Anything else?"

 

JC shook his head.

 

"Get some rest. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

 

Bethany flipped off the lights as she left. JC shifted his left arm, trying not to disturb Rachel. He situated himself the best he could and kissed the top of her head before falling back asleep.

"You could have given me a warning!"

 

"I've been a little busy Mel," Rachel said. She sat at a table in the cafeteria, tucked in the back so not to be bothered. A banana, yogurt, and a cup of coffee sat in front of her. That morning JC had able to have eat breakfast. Toast and some fruit and apple juice. Afterward Anita had come in and unhooked the IV. He no longer needed the fluids given to him via the IV. The IV catheter was left in his arm as a precaution. In case something happened, it was all ready to go and they wouldn't waste precious time trying to find a vein. The tubing had been disconnected. Medication would be given orally now.

 

With the IV being unhooked, the catheter was also able to be removed. While she wanted to stay in the room with him, Rachel could sense that JC didn't want her in the room. He wouldn't come out and ask her to leave, but she could see it in his face. With a smile, she had kissed him lightly and told him she was going to the cafeteria to make a few phone calls. The relief had been evident on his face.

 

Before Melissa had called, she had called Lance and given him a list of items to pick up from the house. With JC being forced to get up and be mobile, he was going to need more than just a gown. Her list included underwear, sweatpants, and a zip up hoodie. The wounds on his chest and abdomen would still need to be checked but she included a shirt just in case JC wanted to try putting one on. She didn't think he would. The gown would provide cover or he could slip on the zip up hoodie by itself.

 

"Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, and Lance Bass walked in to my bakery!"

 

"That sounds like the beginning of a joke," Rachel giggled as she shouldered her phone and peeled her banana.

 

"I could barely remember my name! I nearly whimpered when Joey told me hello. Then Chris..." Melissa gave a dreamy sigh that had Rachel laughing.  

 

"You should have heard them when they got to the hospital. There was so much drooling going on I was googling how to buy an ark."

 

"Really? Tell me more..."

 

Rachel laughed. "Joey and Chris were about ready to throw down and have a duel."

 

"And I'm the fair maiden. God Rachel... I've seen a lot of celebrities in my place but those two," she groaned. "They stole my words. I sounded like an idiot."

 

"Trust me Mel, they were just as infatuated with you. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them - or both - won't darken your door again."

 

"I gotta choose! How am I supposed to choose!"

 

"Which one butters your biscuit more?"

 

"They can both butter my biscuit." Melissa drawled. "Maybe I should put that on the menu?"

 

"What? You?"

 

Melissa laughed. "Mel's Biscuits. There's a crowd drawer."

 

"I know at least two men it would draw."

 

"Enough about my love life," Melissa changed the subject. Just thinking about Joey and Chris made her blush. "I want to talk about yours."

 

"You're gonna have to tell Brad Pitt I'm off the market."

 

Melissa rolled her eyes. "You've been off the market for the last ten years you just never admitted it to yourself. Does this mean you and JC finally admitted what everyone has known for years?"

 

"I love him Mel."

 

Melissa smiled. "I know."

 

"He loves me."

 

"I know."

 

"God it's been such a whirlwind month." Rachel ran her fingers through her hair free from the pony tail.

 

"When everything has calmed down, you're gonna have to come over and explain to me what happened. Starting with how you ended up in Mississippi."

 

"My stupid heart."

 

Melissa hummed knowingly. "Sometimes I'd like to drop kick that organ."

 

"Yours or mine?"

 

"Usually yours for not seeing what was right in front of you."

 

"I almost lost the chance to tell him," Rachel's voice cracked as tears filled her eyes.

 

"But you didn't. God had to pull out the big guns in this case. The Big Guy was about have his palm sewn to his forehead as many times as he had his head in his hand when it came to you and JC missing every single message."

 

"What messages?"

 

"Well let's see, you live with him. That might have been okay for about a year or two, but 10 years later... it's your house. Even when he had girlfriends living there. You never had a relationship stick in those 10 years. JC either. He constantly drug you on vacations even when his girlfriend at the time was coming with. You guys cuddle on the couch while watching TV. You get in to tickle wars. You can have conversations without words. You laugh at all of his stupid jokes. Most of them aren't even funny. You..."

 

"Okay okay, I get the point." Rachel said, cutting her off. "I'm blind as a bat."

 

"Look on the bright side. He's just as blind. You guys are perfect for each other!"

 

Rachel laughed. "Yeah."

 

"So how is he doing? I know what I've read on the net, but I don't believe half of it."

 

"He's doing really good," Rachel said smiling as she explained his prognosis and what was happening today and the plan for the rest of the week.

 

"I can't believe they are talking about sending him home already. I mean just last week, he... I mean..." Melissa sighed. "Sorry."

 

"It's okay. I know how close it came to him never returning home."

 

"I could slap myself. I didn't mean to bring that up. God I'm an idiot. This is why I don't deal with people."

 

"Your whole business is dealing with people. It's alright. I'm okay. I just have to work through this guilt I'm carrying around about Mississippi."

 

"Drop kick that guilt out of here." Melissa said firmly. "What happened happened and you can't change it. Put it behind you and move forward with JC."

 

"It sounds easy. But what I did..."

 

"Rachel... you probably had a very good reason at the time for doing what you did. Don't let the guilt consume you. You're back in LA. JC's going to make a full recovery with you by his side every step of the way. There so much ahead for you two. Marriage. Babies. You two are going to make such beautiful babies. I can't wait to get my hands on them."

 

Rachel smiled at the thought. Brown haired blue eyed babies. The image warmed her heart and she wanted to reach out, grab on and hold on tight. "Thanks Mel. As a thank you, I'm gonna send Joey and Chris over there to pick up another slice of strawberry pie."

 

Melissa squeaked. "You can't do that!"

 

"Why not?"

 

"It was gonna be a dry shampoo day!"

 

Rachel laughed. "What's your point?"

 

"If they are gonna come, I can't just put in dry shampoo! I need to wash my hair! Oh God, what am I gonna wear? Shit... I can't talk right now. I gotta figure out what I'm going to wear!"

 

The phone went dead in Rachel's ear and she chuckled. Grabbing her trash from the table she pushed up from the table. Turning around she yelped seeing a man right behind her. Behind him was another man holding up a phone.

 

"Ms. Bass, can you give us an update on JC's condition?"

 

"No comment," Rachel said as she tried to duck around him but he blocked her.

 

"Can you confirm that the bullet was meant for you?"

"I said no comment."

 

"Did you know about Matthew Morrison's alleged affair with Addison Wright?"

 

The man continued asking her questions as she was able to duck around him. Keeping her head down, she quickly made her way from the cafeteria. There was no one to help her. Hospital security was not near the cafeteria. ICU was up on the fourth floor. There was no way she was taking the elevator and trapping herself with a tabloid reporter.

 

"Addison Wright is claiming to be in a relationship with JC Chasez. She alleges that you have been trying to come between them. Can I get a comment on that?"

 

"What?" Rachel said turning to look at the man before she shook her head. She turned away and moved faster; the questions still came. Passing the elevator she came to the door for the stairs. Throwing the door open she started running up the stairs. They were close on her heels.

 

"Is it true that Addison acted in self defense? Were you trying to attack her?"

 

The questions kept coming. Each worse than the previous. Her eyes were blurry with tears. She held on to the railing as she forced herself to continue up the steps. The last flight was upon her. She could see the door to the floor in front of her. All she had to do was get to the other side and there would be a security guard. If she made if there, she would be safe.

 

A hand reached out to halt her movements. Between her hurried movements and blurry vision, she missed the step and stumbled. She went down hard. Her knee jammed into the step and her teeth snapped together as her chin made contact with another step. Not expecting her to fall, the reporter stumbled and fell on top of her. Her head glanced off the step again.

 

It left her stunned for a moment. Rachel grabbed her chin in pain and felt wet substance. Looking at her hand, she paled seeing the blood. She kicked her feet, trying to get the man off her. When she was free, she crawled up the remaining steps and stumbled to the door.

 

"Ms. Bass!" The security guard, Tim, shouted in surprised when he saw her stumble through the door and fall to her knees. He quickly skirted his desk, calling for a nurse as he reached her side. "Are you okay?"

 

"Fell on the stairs," she said, taking in deep breaths. Her heart was beating fast. She was certain it was going to beat out of her chest. "Reporter chasing me."

 

"Reporter?" Tim's face closed down and he clenched his jaw. "Where?"

 

"Stairwell. He tripped me up."

 

A couple nurses reached them, and Tim let them take care of Rachel and he disappeared into the stairwell, calling for help on his radio.

 

"Easy," a nurse said when Rachel tried to stand.

 

"I'm okay," Rachel told her, trying to brush off her hands. "I just need to get back to JC."

 

"Sweetie, you're bleeding," the nurse said patiently with years of experience deal with patients who didn't want to be treated. "We need to get you cleaned up. That gash in your chin looks like it might need stitches."

 

Rachel groaned.

 

"I know," the other nurse said, patting her knee which drew a hiss from Rachel. "Did you hurt your knee as well?"

 

"I fell on my knee. My chin hit the step. He fell on me and my head hit the step." Rachel explain.

 

"Alright, let's get you into a room and get you checked out."

 

As the nurses were helping Rachel stand, the ICU door opened and JC's doctor stepped out. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw her. "My word! What happened?" He rushed forward. While the nurses helped Rachel stay in a standing position, Dr. Williams reached out and gingerly tilted her chin up so he could see the wound. "What happened?"

 

"Reporter was chasing her and she fell on the steps," the nurse supplied.

 

Dr. Williams' mouth set in a firm line. "Come on, let's get her into ICU. No reporters can pop up there."

 

With the help of the two nurses, Rachel walked toward the doors that led to the ICU ward. Dr. Williams scanned his ID card and the doors clicked. He pulled one side open and allowed the three women to walk through. When he went through, he made sure the door latched.

 

"Oh my gosh!" Anita exclaimed rushing forward. "What on earth happened!"

 

"How's JC?" Rachel asked seeing her.

 

"He's fine," Anita brushed off her question. "I'm more concerned about you at the moment.

 

"Take her in to his room," Dr. Williams ordered. "Get her chin cleaned up. I'll be there in a minute."

 

Anita nodded at the doctor and led the nurses and Rachel down the hall to JC's room. She pushed the door opened and snapped on the rest of the lights.

 

"What's going on?" JC asked, shifting in bed. The bed was currently elevated so he was in a seated position. It had been awkward at first and a little painful, but he was settled in. It felt good to be in a seated position. His doctor had told him if all went well, he would be moved out of the ICU in the early afternoon.

 

"Just relax," Anita said calmly, putting the door stop down. She glanced around the room her eyes quickly taking stock before moving to the folded out bed.  She quickly cleared the items off the bed. When she was finished, she had just reached JC's side as Rachel came through the door.

 

"Rachel!" JC exclaimed. Anita placed a hand on JC's shoulder, halting his movements. "What's going on? What happened?"

 

"I'm okay, JC," Rachel met his eyes and sent him a small smile. She took a seat and allowed one of the nurses to help her lift her legs and place them on the bed.

 

"That doesn't look like okay to me," JC said. His fisted his hand in an attempt to stop himself from getting out of bed. Anita still stood near him as if she knew exactly what would happen the moment Rachel came through the door.

 

Rachel hissed when the nurse touched a gauze pad to her chin. "Am I going to need stitches?"

 

"Might be able to use glue," the nurse said as she continued cleaning up Rachel's chin.

 

"You said you hit your knee as well?" The other nurse said, holding up a white hospital blanket. "We'll slide your pants off so Dr. Williams can check it out."

 

"Your knee?" JC repeated. "What happened?"

 

"I fell in the stairwell," Rachel said as she toed off her shoes, grimacing at the twinge in her knee.

 

"You fell down the stairs."

 

"No," Rachel murmured a thank you to the nurse when she slid her shoe off. "Tripped up them." Without standing up, she was able to push the leggings down her hips and legs. The nurse held the blanket up, offering her some semblance of privacy. "I was in the cafeteria eating breakfast, making a few phone calls. I was leaving to come up here when I was nabbed by a reporter. He and his iPhone wielding friend chased me up the stairs. I was almost to the door where Tim, the security guard, sits but I was tripped. I fell on the stairs and the reporter tripped and fell on me. Tim went into the stairwell after them, but I don't know if he caught them."

 

"Anita, you got it from here?" The nurse asked once the blanket was situated over Rachel.

 

"Depends," Anita looked down at JC. "You gonna stay in bed?"

 

JC looked at Anita before looking back at Rachel. Everything was telling him to go to her but he sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I'll stay in bed."

 

"Great!" Anita patted his shoulder and moved away from the bed. She looked over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes when she heard the rustle of bedding. JC had his hands raised in an innocent manner. "I mean it JC; stay put."

 

"Please don't get up," Rachel said softly as the other two nurses left the room to head back to their own ward. "I'm okay, really."

 

Inside JC was seething at the reporter for chasing her down, at the hospital for not making sure reporters steered clear, at himself for not being able to protect her, at his parents and Lance for not being here to make sure she wasn't alone, at her for going to the cafeteria alone. Most of his anger was ill placed, but he couldn't help how he felt. He silently watched as Dr. Williams came in and checked out the wound on Rachel's chin. Much to his dismay - and Rachel's - it needed stitches. Glue wasn't going to work.

 

"Am I going to have to go to the ER?"

 

Dr. Williams shook his head. "No. We're keeping you on this ward. It's heavily monitored. Considering this happened, depending on the situation going forward, while JC is well enough to be moved from the ICU, we might keep him on this floor because of its restricted access."

 

"It won't hinder his care will it?" Rachel asked.

 

"Not at all," Dr. Williams explained as he took the needle from the tray filled with a numbing agent. "A little sting. You'll feel warmth, but should be no pain," he explained as he inserted the needle into Rachel's skin to numb the surrounding area. "His care plan will remain the same, he'll just be roomed here."

 

"You'll get to stay with me a little longer," Anita smiled warmly. She took the needle from Dr. Williams and put it in the sharps bin that hung on the wall. "Bethany and I were sad to be losing you guys."

 

"Ugh," Rachel groaned as she felt the numbness begin to set in.

 

"Are you doing okay?" Anita asked immediately, poised to act quickly.

 

"Yeah." She gripped the blanket in a tight fist.

 

"This will probably only take three stitches," Dr. Williams said, ducking his head to look at the gash again. He lifted a square gauze piece and dabbed at the blood. "Four at the most. Just relax and I'll be done soon. It won't take very long."

 

JC saw the needle come out and had to turn his head away. He wished once again that he could reach her. He'd seen the grip she had on the blanket and wish he could take that hand in his. He was resigned to the fact that he had to wait until she was checked out. Once Dr. Williams and Anita left, he could go to her. He reached for his phone on the trey that Anita had rolled closer to him after he had gotten situated in bed. It was fully charged. The do not disturb had been turned on and when his screen lit up, he could see all the missed calls, voicemails, and messages. He ignored them all.

 

‘When are you getting here?' He tapped out the message to Lance.

 

‘I told Rachel we'd be there around lunch time. Have to swing by your place. She gave me a list of things to grab.'

 

‘Grab her a change of clothes.'

 

‘It's on the list. What's going on?'

 

‘Reporter chased her down. She fell in the stairwell. Busted her chin up. Doc is giving her stitches right now.'

 

A line of angry emojis came through and JC had to agree. ‘Are you fucking serious?'

 

‘They have her in here with me to make sure she's safe. Am I really that big of a news item right now?'

 

‘Uh yeah JC. It's kind of a big deal when a member of *NSYNC gets shot in his own home by a woman who had an affair with an actor on one of the top shows currently on TV.'

 

‘They know about that?'

 

‘Addison's talking to anyone who wants to listen. I've been fielding what I can. Thankfully Rachel's still ignoring her phone. I told Eric to earn the money you pay him and take care of shit. So his camp is handling everything.'

 

‘Maybe I should post something.'

 

‘Up to you. Probably won't stop reporters from trying to get in to the hospital though.'

 

‘Then Rachel can't go anywhere by herself.'

 

‘Surprised she even left your side.'

 

JC stewed while Dr. Williams finished the stitches on Rachel's chin. It ended up being four when he was done. After, he bared her knee and checked. There was minor swelling and bruising. Nothing an icepack and Ibuprofen wouldn't fix. Promising to check on her later when he made his rounds again, he bid them goodbye.

 

"I can get you a spare set of scrubs to change in to," Anita said as she cleaned up the trash left behind.

 

"It's okay. Lance is bringing me a change of clothes." Rachel replied and grabbed her leggings from where they were laid over the end of the worst bed in the world. A chair that converted into a small bed. She put her feet in the leggings and pulled them up her legs, grimacing when she moved her knee. Swinging her legs forward, she stood up; most of the weight on her other foot. She tossed the hospital blanket on the bed behind her, modesty forgotten, and pulled her leggings the rest of the way up.

 

"I'll be right back with the Ibuprofen." Anita told Rachel once she was assured the woman was okay.

 

"I'm just gonna..." she pointed to the small bathroom off JC's room and shuffled her way to it, feeling JC's eyes on her the entire time.

 

"Before I can..." Anita's voice trailed off when she returned to the room. Rachel wasn't there. "Where is she?"

 

"Still in the bathroom." JC said, his teeth grinding together as he clenched his jaw again. He was giving her another minute to come out before he climbed out of the bed and went to her.

 

"Oh dear," Anita said and dropped the papers down on the trey next to JC.

 

"What are these?" JC asked reaching for them.

 

"She needs to be admitted to the hospital before I can give her the medicine. It's no different than if she would have come in to the emergency room." Anita explained before knocking on the bathroom door. "Rachel? Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah," Rachel wiped the tears and splashed water on her face one more. Using paper towels she dabbed her face. Balling up the soiled t-shirt, she unlocked the door and pushed it open. With her shirt soiled from when the blood dripped off her chin, she took it off. Now she just wore the black zip up hoodie, zipped up.

 

"Let me help you," Anita wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her walk toward the bed. "Uh huh," she tutted when Rachel tried to change course toward the folded out chair. "Over here next to JC."

 

JC slowly scooted over to give Rachel more room. He was tutted himself when he reached out trying to help. He dropped his arms and waited while Rachel sat on the bed and Anita helped her bring her legs up. Once she was situated, he wrapped his arm around her. He pressed a kiss into her hair.

 

"Now," Anita said and turned away. She grabbed the hospital blanket and covered Rachel's lower half. Then she grabbed the tray and wheeled it over to sit over Rachel's lap. "I need you to fill these out for me really quick. I will put them in the system. I can get you some medicine, then I'll get you discharged."

 

"Okay," Rachel said and grabbed the pen that Anita had laid on the papers.

 

"Are you okay?" JC asked softly when Anita left to go get an ice pack. He watched as Rachel filled out the forms, her handwriting shaky as a tremor worked through her hand. "Hey," he placed his hand on top of hers, stilling her movements. "Come here." He pulled her to his side. His hand went into her hair and guided her head to his shoulder. He wished he could wrapped her tightly in his arms, but he wasn't able to twist his body. He lifted his other hand brushing his fingers against her cheek.

 

"I should have been paying more attention."

 

"It's not your fault." JC told her.

 

"I ran up eight flights of stairs. I guess I should have taken the elevator."

 

"Then he could have trapped you in there."

 

"All I could think about was getting back up here. I knew Tim would take care of them. Once I got through the ICU doors, I would be in the clear. I almost made it. Then he tripped me right before I got to the top of the stairs. I lost my balance and went down. It happened so fast, I couldn't catch myself."

 

"It's okay," JC whispered, resting his head on hers. "It might be better to just stay here. At least for a couple days. Lance told me I'm apparently big news at the moment."

 

"I haven't been paying attention," Rachel admitted. "Maybe I should, I just... I've just been so worried about you."

 

"I know. I'll post an update myself, maybe that will get people to back off." He dropped the hand from her face and tapped the papers. "Fill this out so they can give you something for the pain. I can fill it out if you need me."

 

"I got it," Rachel sent him a smile and started filling out the forms again. Anita came back with an icepack and put it on her knee, wrapping an ace bandage around it to keep it from falling off.

 

"I'll be back with the Ibuprofen," Anita said once the forms were finished. "Then you can get some rest before visitors show up." She took the forms and left the room, quickly entering all the information into the system. When it was in, she paged the doctor to inform him he could order the medication. When everything was done, she was able to take the medicine back to Rachel and give it to her. "Now, just relax. Once the numbness wears off, it's gonna hurt. Have Lance bring you Ibuprofen."

 

"Thank you," JC told Anita as Rachel lay back. He pushed the button and lowered the bed back a little as Anita once again left the room, turning off half the lights in the process. "Lay here take a nap."

 

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

 

"We'll take care of each other."

 

*~*

 

Lance tried to get his anger under wraps as he showed his ID to Tim back on his post after the morning excitement.

 

"I'm really sorry what happened to Ms. Bass this morning," Tim said as he handed Lance back his ID. "I didn't hear anything in the stairwell until she came bursting through the doors. Nearly gave me a heart attack with the blood of her face."

 

"I'm just happy you were able to catch them before they got away."

 

"Thank your sister for that," Tim started chuckling. "She apparently kicked one in a not so good place if you know what I mean. He was curled up on the stairs, clutching himself. Tears in his eyes."

 

"Wish I could seen it," Lance said. The chuckle that broke free did nothing to quell his anger.

 

"You don't have to worry though," Tim said, his lips falling into a straight line as he grew serious. "No one can get to her through those doors."

 

"Appreciate it," Lance said. He nodded at Tim as he walked to the doors, unlocked at the press of a button at the guard's desk. He met Anita before he made it to JC's room.

 

"You look like you could spit nails."

 

"I just had a lovely talk with the head of security and the administrator plus a whole slew of people..."

 

Anita winced. "I'd rather get a root canal. I know it doesn't make what happened right, but Rachel is okay. In a week the stitches will be removed. Should be minimal scarring. Dr. Williams is excellent with a needle. She was lucky he just happened to be on the floor." She watched as Lance nodded. She knew it wasn't any consolation. The incident shouldn't have happened at all. "Just make sure in all this, JC doesn't push his own injuries aside."

 

"Easier said than done," Lance said and said goodbye to Anita. Opening the door to JC's room, he saw JC and Rachel sharing the hospital bed. JC's color had started to come back. He was no longer ghostly pale. He actually looked half human. Lance was glad. The paleness of JC's face made him look close to death. Now it actually looked like he was going to make it. Rachel's head rested on his shoulder. A blanket was pulled up to her waist. Her arm held her phone sideways. JC's eyes looked up when he entered, but his sister's didn't. "What are you watching?"

 

JC rolled his eyes. "Steel Magnolias."

 

Lance laughed and felt some of the anger fade. "How did she talk you in to that?" It was then Rachel shifted her head on JC's shoulder. The movement caused Lance to get a look at her face and he realized that Rachel didn't have to do much talking to get JC to agree to watch the movie. Her face spoke wonders. "Jesus," he whispered seeing the bruise blossoming from not only her chin, but her temple as well.

 

"Most people fall down stairs. I fall up them." Rachel tried to smile, but it felt like a grimace with the numbing medication still lingering.

 

"You had help." Lance dropped the bag on the folded out chair. "Hey, take it easy," he said when he turned around and saw Rachel sitting up. The phone had been silenced and placed on the trey, face down. He eyed the wrap on her knee.

 

"I'm fine." Rachel started unwrapping her knee. The ice pack was no longer cold. It had served its purpose. "Did you bring what I asked?"

 

Lance nodded. He wanted to make her lay back in bed, but he knew the efforts would have been futile. He fisted his hands and watched as she limped to the bag and dug through it for the items she wanted before disappearing into the bathroom. When the door clicked shut, he looked back at JC, seeing him shifting in bed, trying to sit up and swing his legs over the side. "Whoa whoa whoa!" He went to his friend's side, putting his hands on his shoulders. "What are you doing?"

 

"I'm allowed to get up. I've been up multiple times today."

 

"Should you be doing it without someone here?" Lance let go of JC, but kept his hands near just in case.

 

"You're here."

 

Lance groaned. "And if you fall flat on your face what am I supposed to do?"

 

JC sent Lance a look. "Catch me before I fall flat on my face." He piled the blanket on his waist. His gown hung open, showing his chest and the angry incisions left behind. "What did she tell you to bring?"

 

"Sweat pants, zip up hoodie, t-shirts," Lance named off the rest of the items.

 

"Bring me the sweat pants." JC reached for the pants when Lance handed them to him. He grimaced at the movement.

 

"Should you be doing this?" Lance questioned concerned. "Let me get Anita..." The look JC sent him stopped him from moving. "Then at least wait for Rachel... or not." He said when JC sent him another look.

 

"The first time she sees me naked is not going to be like this."

 

Lance rolled his eyes and grabbed the sweat pants back from JC's hand. "Let me help. I've already seen your junk."

"So glad I'm making this trip in my clothes and not a hospital gown."

 

Rachel giggled at JC's words as they walked down the hallway of the ICU ward. She had her arm tucked through his. Their steps were not quite as fast as JC's normal gait, but they were getting there.  The doctor was pleased with JC's recovery. Friday was the expected discharge day. Two days away.

"Laugh it up. You wouldn't be the one feeling a draft."

 

"I bet Anita wouldn't mind the view."

 

"Not something I want to think about. Considering she's old enough to be my mom."

 

"She's not dead." Rachel liked how the blush crossed his face. It was so nice to see color back on his skin. For too many days it was too pale for her liking. Their Halloween costumes would never involve any pale characters or creatures. Not for awhile anyway. Until she could get the picture of JC laying near death in a hospital bed out of her mind. She wasn't sure that was possible.

 

"I can't wait to get out of here. Get home." JC said. He couldn't wait to get home. To sleep in his own bed. Lay on his own couch. Sleep all night uninterrupted because there wasn't a nurse that was gonna come in to take his temperature and ask how he was. He was tired. That's how he was. He was tired because people kept waking him up to ask how he was.

 

Rachel wasn't certain if she was as excited as JC was at the prospect of going home. Since the day she went with Lance and Michael, she hadn't been back to the house. She wasn't even sure if she was able. She was hoping with JC at her side, she would be able to walk in the house. Not just walk in the house but be able to not picture JC laying on the floor bleeding. It was a scene she saw in her dreams. They'd wake her up with a gasp. She'd turn to look at JC to make sure he was there with her. Then she'd snuggle back against his side and hold him as tight as she dared. If walking back into the house with JC didn't help. She didn't know what she was going to do.

 

"You know the first thing I'm gonna do when I get home?"

 

"Take the world's longest shower?"

 

"That's the second thing." JC hadn't been able to truly bathe. It was mostly sponge baths. It would be nice to be able to climb into his shower and just let the hot water cascade down on him - for hours.

 

"So what's the first thing?"

 

"Move you in to my room."

 

Rachel hadn't been expecting that. She had a few ideas in her head what JC might want to do - shower, nap, eat something other than hospital food or the fast food that his parents or Lance brought once he'd been cleared to eat real food. Her moving into his bedroom hadn't been at the top of the list. It was even in the top five. She wasn't even sure if it was on the list. "Wow. You ready for my things to be all over your bedroom?"

 

"It's all over the rest of the house, what's one more room." JC shrugged with a smile. He unhooked their arms so he could wrap his around her waist.

 

"You'll have to downgrade your clothes to make room for mine in your closet."

 

"Wait a minute, why do I have to get rid of my things? Why don't you get rid of some of your things?"

 

"I'll have you know I wear every single article of clothing that's hanging in my closet."

 

"Lies."

 

"Yeah well how many pairs of black jeans do you need?"

 

"Alright. So we both downsize?"

 

Rachel pretended to mull over his compromise. "Do I get to pick some of the clothes that go?"

 

"Of mine?" JC's eyes widened in surprise. "What's wrong with what I wear?"

 

"How much time do you have?" She giggled at his look.

 

"Fine. What about you and your addiction to yoga pants?"

 

Rachel raised an eyebrow at him. "You want me to get rid of my yoga pants?"

 

JC realized his error and quickly shook his head. "On second thought, those can stay."

 

"Thought so," Rachel laughed, laying her head on his shoulder as they continued to walk along the ward. Walking the ICU ward was boring. It was a small square with the nurses' station in the middle. All the rooms were on the outer edge. They walked many loops around the nurses' station since JC was made to get up out of bed. Not for the first time she wished they were on a regular floor. Then they could have a much further walk. It didn't matter where they walked, each time they made the trek they spent the whole time lost in conversation.

 

"Can I listen to the voicemail?" JC asked catching Rachel off guard again. "Do you still have it?" He felt her head nod against his shoulder.  ‘Of course she did,' JC thought. She still had the voicemail and probably listened to it so much it was memorized. "Can I listen to it?"

 

They came up on a small waiting room tucked in one of the corners. The room was filled with comfortable chairs, a couch, TV, fridge, and a coffee table littered with up-to-date magazines. It was used by family members as a quiet place to take a breather. Phones could be charged. Food could be stored. Mindless TV shows could be watched. Right now it was empty and JC led her in to the room. He sat down on the couch and tugged on her hand until she sat next to him. Discomfort ran through him from his incisions and he shifted until it eased. "Talk to me."

 

"Why do you want to listen to it?" Rachel asked softly.

 

There was no real reason. At least none that JC could think of. He wanted to hear how Matt had taken his confession and twisted it to hurt her. It angered him. He didn't know why he wanted to hear it. Maybe so he could hear it and hurt as much as Rachel had. Not that he hadn't been hurt ultimately. Rachel leaving and cutting off communication had hurt him tremendously.

 

"I don't think anything can be gained by listening to it."

 

"Please?"

 

Rachel pulled her phone from the pocket of the zip up hoodie. After a moment's hesitation, she handed it over to JC. She crossed her arms in front of her, almost in a hugging manner as she watched JC pull up her voicemails. There were still a lot of voicemails she hadn't listened to yet. Her e-mail and text messages were just as bad.

 

Scrolling past the new voicemails JC found the one from an unknown number dated when Rachel left. He found himself hesitating before he finally tapped the button and lifted the phone to his ear and he heard his own voice. His eyes closed as he listened to himself say the words he remembered saying that night. However it was still all so wrong. When the voicemail ended he left his arm drop back to his lap. Rachel's voicemails still open.

 

"Jesus," he finally whispered. He hadn't been prepared for how bad it sounded. "Rachel, I'm sorry."

 

"Why are you apologizing?" Rachel lifted her head to look at him. "JC, I told you. You didn't do anything wrong. Matt holds a pretty big piece of the blame pie, but I'm holding my share as well."

 

"Rachel," JC sighed. He dropped his gaze to look at the phone. Before he could think about it, he hit the delete button and watched as the voicemail disappeared. "I hate how that conversation was manipulated and used to hurt you."

 

"It's okay."

 

"No," JC shook his head. "It's not even in the same realm as okay. Rachel, there was a lot more to the conversation that night between Matt and I."

 

"You don't have to explain..."

 

"Yes I do." He took her hand in his and threaded their fingers. "He tainted that conversation. It wasn't an easy one to have for me but it was such a relief to finally tell someone about my feelings for you. I told him I was finally going to tell you. I kept talking myself out of when. I didn't want to make things awkward for your party. Then we were spending the summer together on a tour bus. Matt said I should tell you immediately. He tried to tell me you felt the same way. I didn't believe him."

 

"I did... I do." Rachel amended. She laid her head back on his shoulder and tightened her hand in his. "You remember that trip to Miami when someone slipped something in my drink?"

 

"Remember? It's the reason I don't let anyone buy you drinks when we go out." JC could remember the fear he felt that night. Eva hadn't been able to make it. He'd been on the dance floor, surrounded by plenty of girls. He had lost track of Rachel earlier in the night. He hadn't been concerned. Turns out he should have been. Even ten years later, he still wasn't sure what made him seek her out. He untangled himself from the girls he'd been dancing with and worked his way through the crowd of people. Hands tried to stop him and pull him into dancing, but he brushed them off. Lonnie had come in to view first. Rachel had been in front of him. The look on her face made him move faster.

 

"I don't remember the club, it's all fuzzy."

 

"It's because of the drug." She may not have remembered, but he couldn't forget. He would never forget the look in her eyes. How scared she looked. The slurred speech. Lonnie practically had to carry her from the club. He did have to carry her into the Emergency Room. JC had been thankful Lonnie had been there. Lonnie had been able to keep him from not completely freaking out and losing control.

 

"I definitely don't remember the hospital. What I do remember was the next day. Waking up back in the hotel room. You were sitting next to me on the bed..."

 

"I sat there all night. Watching you like some creeper." The doctor at the hospital assured him Rachel would be fine. She would sleep it off. Her memory would be compromised and it would feel like she would have a hangover. There was nothing the hospital could do except report the crime and send them on their way with the recommendation of plenty of sleep and to drink plenty of water. He had forced so much water on her the next day, she had joked about just moving into the bathroom.

 

Rachel held his hand between both of hers. "I was so scared waking up. I couldn't remember anything. The look on your face scared me. When you told me what happened..." she shook her head. "I tried so hard to remember but I couldn't. Can't. You never left. You stayed right there with me all day. Making sure I ate. Drank water. You kept me sane even when I wanted to freak out. You laid next me. Held my hand. You watched the Lifetime channel without complaint.

 

"I would have done anything for you."

 

"I fell in love with you that day."

 

JC was at a loss for words. He lifted his free hand to the side of her face and palmed her cheek. "I love you." He brought her lips to his and kissed her.

 

*~*

 

 ‘Going home!'

 

It was the first thing JC had posted to his Twitter account in months. His bags had been packed. Rachel and Michael had taken them down to Lance's car. Michael was going to stay with the car and wait for the message to bring it around for JC to get in. Parking outside the door early had gotten a scolding by security. The only thing left to do was sign his discharge papers and get any final instructions.

 

‘Finally!' He thought.

 

The door open and Lance backed through with a wheelchair. "Moonlighting as a candy striper?"

 

"Anita told me where to go to get the wheelchair. All the volunteers were drawing straws on who was gonna get to push you out of the hospital. You should be happy that I relieved them of the task because let me tell you," Lance grinned. "You would have found yourself being taken to a closet or helped into an unknown vehicle."

 

JC laughed. "I always assumed hospital volunteers were retired grandmas."

 

"They are." Lance laughed, parking the wheelchair out of the way.

 

"Funny." JC chuckled.

 

"Any one of them would have leaped at the chance to be your personal nurse." Lance teased, his eyes sparkling in jest. "You could see it in their eyes... they couldn't wait to give you a sponge bath."

 

"Shut up."

 

Lance sat down in the wheelchair, looking at JC sitting on the hospital bed wearing a pair of blue jeans and a grey t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on the front. His feet were slipped into sandals partly because it hurt him to bend over. He hadn't thought this day would come. Part of him truly believed the last communication he'd have with his friend was uninviting him to his birthday party.

 

"What's with the look?" JC asked, starting to feel uncomfortable at Lance's stare.

 

"Glad today is here, man. I wasn't sure..." Lance's words trailed off. "I wanna apologize about our last phone call."

 

JC waved his hand in the air, brushing his words off. "Don't worry about it. You were in a hard place."

 

"Yeah," Lance gave an awkward laugh. "You guys ever put me that position again..." He looked at the door and looked back at JC. "Listen... I know you're hell bent on going home..."

 

"Lance I'm fine." JC interrupted. "I don't need to stay in the hospital anymore."

 

"No," Lance shook his head. "It's not that." He leaned forward in the wheelchair, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm talking about your actual house."

 

"What about the house? It's alright isn't it?"

 

"Yeah. Your mom cleaned it from top to bottom. Cleaned out your fridge. Your dad and I went shopping with the huge list she made up so everything is restocked."

 

"You guys didn't have to do that." JC's heart warmed at the thoughtfulness. He hadn't even thought that far ahead. A lot of the things in his fridge would have been expired. The last thing he wanted to deal with when he got home was a smelly fridge and the thought of having to go grocery shopping.

 

Lance shot JC a look. "Have you met your mother?"

 

"Right." JC laughed. "But what are you getting at?"

 

"The plan is for me to take you and Rachel back to your house, but I don't know if that's going to work."

 

"Why not?" JC asked confused.

 

"The last time Rachel was at the house it didn't go to well." Lance explained what happened when they had gone for JC's phone and wallet. "I'm hoping it will go better this time around."

 

"But you don't think it will?" JC supplied Lance's unspoken words. He frowned. He wasn't prepared for Rachel not being able to go into the house. If Rachel couldn't walk in was he going to be able to? He hadn't given it that much thought. Sure he was shot and almost died, but he never thought he wouldn't be able to walk into his house again. That house had been his since he bought it in 2000. Fourteen years he lived in that house.

 

"I don't think so." Lance shook his head. "It might. You'll be there. That might help knowing that even after what happened you're still here."

 

"Maybe."

 

Before he and Lance could discuss it any further, Rachel walked into the room with Anita. Their eyes were both wet and he furrowed his brows in confusion. When he met Rachel's gaze, she just sent him a small smile and a shrug.

 

"You ready to leave?" Anita asked as she laid the papers on the empty tray and rolled it close to JC. It was bittersweet. She had bonded with them over the course of JC's stay. She was sad to see them leave but was happy they were able to leave and go out to live their lives.

 

"Oh yeah," JC grinned and grabbed the pen signing his name where Anita indicated. He listened intently as she gave him final instructions. In a week he had a follow up with his regular doctor.

 

"Your chariot awaits," Lance grinned pushing the chair closer to the bed.

 

"I can walk out of here," he grumbled good-naturedly. He pushed himself up from the bed. Before sitting in the chair, he gave Anita a hug. "Thank you."

 

"Oh!" Anita blushed, surprised. "You're welcome. Don't take this the wrong way but I hope you never grace the hospital doors again... except for a trip to the maternity ward."

 

Lance laughed out loud as he watched both his sister and JC blush the darkest shade of red he'd ever seen. "Ready to rock and roll?" He asked when JC sat down in the wheel chair.

 

"Home Jeeves."

 

Lance's words weren't far from JC's mind the entire car ride home. The closer they got to his house, the quieter Rachel had become. Her hand had tightened in his like a vise grip. He almost told Lance to turn around. They could sleep in a hotel. But he knew that wouldn't work. They would have to come home eventually. It would be better to do it now; get it over with. So he kept silent and let Rachel squeeze the life out of his hand.

 

His house came in to view. Rachel's car sitting outside in its usual spot. Lance parked across the street, making sure to leave enough room for cars to maneuver around both his and his sister's. His parents were already inside. They were staying for the weekend to make sure he was settled in before returning to Florida on Monday. He pushed the door open and unbuckled.

 

Keeping a tight hold on JC's hand, Rachel slid across the seat and followed JC out of the backseat. Shutting the door behind her, she stared at the house in front of her.

 

"You okay?"

 

Rachel met JC's eye and nodded. "Yeah." When he looked away she closed her eyes and took a breath releasing it slowly.

 

With his hand in hers, Rachel walked across the road toward the door. She waited silently as JC punched in the code to the gate. She paused when JC stopped as he was opening the door.

 

"Remind me to change the code," JC said as he looked at Rachel. "I don't think she had it, but I don't know for sure."

 

"We'll make it something super hard like your birthday." Rachel teased in an effort to calm herself.

 

"That's what I did." Lance chuckled.

 

"I'll spend the next week answering her angry phone calls and text messages asking what the heck the new code is. Which is what happened the last time I changed it."

 

"As long as you don't pull up the camera and proceed to tease me we won't have an issues."

 

"I only did that once," JC told Lance and Michael as they walked through the door. "Last time I ever did that."

 

"Just think," Lance grinned, slapping JC on the back. "That was before she had the power to withhold sex."

 

"Life is about to become real fun for you," Michael chimed in chuckling.

 

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Rachel looked over her shoulder at Lance and Michael.

 

"Nope."

 

"Can't think of anywhere." Lance grinned.

 

The group reached from the front door. JC reached for the handle. It turned in his hand and he pushed it open. The door opened to a hallway since it shared a wall with the garage. At the end of the hallway it opened up into the living room and dining room to the left, and the kitchen to the right. Open stairs led to the third floor where his bedroom was, along with Rachel's as well as another. Stairs leading down to the first floor were off the kitchen. The first floor had two more bedrooms. One of those he had turned into a studio. There was a lounge area with couches and a TV. A wall with huge windows face east giving a view of the rising sun each morning. The wall also held the entrance to the deck with the pool. Each level held a balcony. The top balcony was only accessible by his bedroom.

 

JC stepped into the house and could smell the food immediately. His stomach growled. Beneath the food was the scent of cleanliness. He felt bad that his mother more than likely spent more time than needed cleaning his house and making sure it was ready for his return. Not that he'd tell her. That was a scolding he didn't want to get. There was a slight uneasiness when he saw the spot where it happened. Lance had been right. Nothing remained telling what happened. The grip on his hand caused him to look at Rachel. He could see the paleness of her face as she stared unblinking at the spot near the steps.

 

Working his hand from her grasp, JC wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest in a hug. When he had been able to hug her that first time out of bed was something he would hold on to forever. She still wouldn't hug him like he wanted her to; too afraid of hurting him. He couldn't wait for the incisions to completely heal so he could pull her hard against his chest in a tight hug.

 

"I'm safe," JC whispered.

 

"I know." Rachel clenched her eyes shut when the filled with tears. She clutched JC's t-shirt on his back. "I know."

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too," Rachel lifted her head. Her lips were covered when JC ducked his head to kiss her.

 

"Get a room!"

 

JC broke the kiss and looked up, a grin on his face as he saw Jimmy. He slipped from Rachel's arms and moved toward his friend. He hadn't seen him since that day.

 

Jimmy cupped JC's face with both of his hands. "It is so good to see your face."

 

"I can honestly say I've missed yours," JC laughed and hugged his friend.

 

"Welcome home man," Jimmy said when the hug broke.

 

"It feels so good to be home." JC saw movement and watched as his parents came out of the kitchen along with Chris, Joey, Melissa, and Mary. "This a party?"

 

"This is just phase one of ‘welcome home'," Joey said grinning, happy his friend was home.

 

"Phase two is aptly named ‘it's about fucking time'!" Chris said, causing cheers to erupt from all the adults.

 

"Is Jimmy funding the party with his ill-gotten gains?"

 

Jimmy laughed and pulled Rachel into a bone crushing hug. "You..." Jimmy said as he continued to hug her. "You are a sight for sore eyes."

 

"I missed you." Rachel held him tightly.

 

"If you disappear like that again..."

 

Rachel shook her head. "I won't." She pulled away. "Just how did you end up winning this bet?"

 

"Shit," Jimmy laughed. "I've been tossing money in from the moment I met you." He laughed again at the look on Rachel's face. "I was hoping his birthday present would clue you guys in. If not, spending the summer on a tour bus should have done the trick."

 

"Yeah right." Chris rolled his eyes. "Spending the last ten years running into each other naked living in the same house hasn't clued them in, you really thought living on a tour bus would have done it?"

 

"Wishful thinking."

 

"He doesn't get all the money," Mary spoke up. "Half of its mine." She drew JC into a hug and kissed his cheek. "So happy to see you."

 

After all the hugs and kisses on the cheek, including one memorable kiss on the lips from Joey to JC later, everyone had settled in to enjoy the food Karen had prepared. The company had been everything and more. There was plenty of laughter thanks to Joey and Chris. Plenty of food thanks to Karen and Melissa who had brought desert. When the food had been eaten, everyone settled in the living room. The afternoon waned.

 

Rachel excused herself for the bathroom, but when she was finished, she slipped into the kitchen and out onto the deck. She leaned on the railing, bowing her head and blowing out a breath. She felt antsy, jumpy. She felt the need to walk out the front door and start walking until she was running; like she needed to get as far from the house as possible. The walls were closing in and this was the only thing she could do. She couldn't leave. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to be inside, sitting on the couch next to JC, talking and laughing with their friends. She wanted to put the nightmare of the last three weeks behind her. From the moment she listened to the voicemail. The hurt she endured. Seeing JC's shot. The blood blossoming on his chest, covering her hands. The anguish of the waiting room. The hours by his bedside praying to every God she could think of to spare him. While God may need him in Heaven, she needed him more.

 

"Hey."

 

Rachel nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice. She spun around seeing Melissa stepping onto the deck, closing the sliding door behind her. "You scared the crap out of me."

 

"What are you doing out here?"

 

"I needed a minute."

 

Melissa nodded like she knew and moved to lean against the railing like her friend. "It's a lot to take in. I admire the fact that you're still vertical. I'd be laying in the corner curled up in a ball sucking my thumb talking about voices and imaginary beings."

 

Rachel laughed softly. "There are times I want to do that. That or crawl into bed, throw the covers over my head and refuse to come out. It's really hard to be here. I'm not sure anyone realizes that."

 

"They do." Melissa said. "What do you think we've been talking about the whole time you've been gone." She grinned when Rachel snapped her head to look at her. "Just joking. Sort of."

 

"I don't want people talking about me."

 

"They aren't. JC and Lance were doing some weird eye thing. It was kind of creepy to watch, but I'm fairly certain it was a conversation about you."

 

"How do you figure?"

 

"JC had that dopey look on his face he gets when you do something cute."

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and knocked Melissa's shoulder with her own.

 

"We're not asking you to be okay. But we're all here to help you. I know it's not easy. It will get better. You just need to shove that day to the back of your mind. Toss it in a box and bury it beneath the other boxes of things that don't need to be opened. Like the childhood trauma of mall Easter Bunnies, those terrible bowl haircuts from the 80s, 90s fashion." She grinned when Rachel laughed. "Think about how everything is going to change now."

 

"Well that's not any better to think about." Rachel stared out over the railing, past the rolling hills and over West Hollywood. "Everything is going to change."

 

"No it's not," Melissa snorted.

 

"He wants me to move my things into his bedroom. That's a major change."

 

"Alright. I'll give you that." Melissa relented. "Aside from sleeping together and the kissing and the touches, do you really think your relationship is going to change all that much? You guys have been in this weird platonic relationship for years. Hell, that relationship included touches. There is a reason why there was a pool on your relationship. Everyone saw it but you. And I tried to tell you! He was there waiting for you to snatch him up. The looks he would give you when you weren't looking..." Melissa squealed.

 

"It would have all been so different if I had told him I loved when I realized I loved him."

 

"Yeah," Melissa agreed. "But having this friendship, it's going to make this aspect of your relationship so much better. Stop overthinking. If you're not ready to play hide the cannoli, then tell him that. If you feel the need to move slow... but come on, you've been at a snails pace since 2002."

 

"Hide the cannoli," Rachel snorted. "You've been hanging out with Joey haven't you?" She watched her friend blush and laughed. "So you've made the decision on whose cannoli you want?"

 

"Who says a girl only needs one?" Melissa said slyly.

 

"You know what to do with more than one?" She watched as Melissa's face and groaned, putting her hands over her face. "No. I do not want to know. No."

 

Melissa cackled at her friend's distress, but let her off the hook. For now. "We've been hanging out a lot. Joey and I. Me and Chris. The three of us."

 

"Look at you. Go from no men to two practically drooling on your apron."

 

"What can I say?" Melissa grinned. "My bundts bring all the boys to the yard."

 

"I'm totally putting that on the painting I'm supposed to be making for you."

 

"Painting better be a helluva good deal since you ran out on me."

 

"Free of charge for being great friend."

 

"Awww," Melissa grinned and hugged her friend. "Now, get your ass back inside."

By nine, Rachel was exhausted and ready for bed. She'd actually been ready for bed at seven, but held out. When nine rolled around she was being nudged by JC. Out of habit she went in to her room when she got upstairs. Everything was how she left it. Her outfit for her birthday party was still thrown over her bed. A drop waist dress with black lace and a champagne underlay complete with black fringe covering the bodice and the skirt. She'd been in the middle of digging out the accessories she needed when the yelling had become too much for her to ignore. She had only found the hose, the costume jewelry pearls, and the black stiletto heels. The over-the-elbow gloves were still missing. The headband, complete with a feather, was missing as well.

 

Rachel fingered the fringe on her costume and sighed before picking it off the bed.

 

"You would have looked amazing."

 

Rachel whirled around. The movement caused the fringe to fly. JC was leaning against the door jam. His fingers were tucked in the pocket of his jeans. He was slightly hunched and Rachel knew he was hurting. She sent him a small smile before looking at the dress in her hand. "It would have been a great party. Before..."

 

JC pushed off the door jam and entered her room. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her to him. He pressed a kiss into her hair. "We can have a belated Bass birthday party."

 

Rachel shook her head and leaned in to him. "I'm really not in the mood to celebrate my birthday."

 

"Ever?" He frowned when Rachel shrugged. "Come on, don't do this to me," he pleaded.

 

"It's not your fault."

 

JC dropped his arm from her shoulders and cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. "It's not yours either." He said firmly.

 

"But I-"

 

"Not. Your. Fault." JC repeated, emphasizing each word. When she nodded, he pulled her into a hug. He was able to hide the grimace when she bumped into the incision where his chest tube had been.

 

"If I had just said something..."

 

"If Matt hadn't slept with Addison none of this would have happened."

 

Rachel laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating in her ear. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound.

 

"Please don't do this to yourself." JC whispered, rubbing a hand up and down her back. "You're killing me when you do this. It's not your fault. Okay?  Me getting shot was not your fault. I told you. I'd do it all over again if it meant saving you. Even if the outcome is different. I'm gonna do everything I can to protect you. I love you."

 

Rachel eyes filled with tears and she tightened her arms around his waist. She brought her hands up and pressed them into his back. She released a shuddering breath. Lifting her head, she met his gaze made blurry by her tears. "I don't want you to die for me."

 

"I know," JC lifted his hands to her face so he could brush her tears away with his thumbs. "If I can save you, I'm gonna do it every single time. Without regard to what it means for me. I told you. I love you."

 

"There was so much blood..." Rachel whispered dropping her gaze. "I couldn't stop it, no matter what I did. I knew you were going to die right there. Right there in front of me."

 

"Rachel..." JC pleaded, but she kept talking.

 

"When Addison pointed the gun at me again, I wanted her to shoot me. I didn't think you were going to make it. I was begging you to stay - begging you not to leave me. You're telling me you loved me... I just knew... I just knew that was it. You were going to die and there was nothing I could do to stop it."

 

JC hadn't been prepared for the pain the conversation caused. When he climbed the stairs and found Rachel in her bedroom, he had thoughts of pulling her to his. Of shutting the door and kissing her like he wanted to all day long, without the catcalls and whistles and knowing grins from their friends and family. He had wanted to strip down and crawl in to bed and pull her to his side in a tangle of limbs. The way they hadn't been able to lay together in a hospital bed.

 

His memories of the day he was shot were fuzzy. Even the moments leading up to the shooting. The doctor explained it was because of the traumatic event. He hadn't been concerned with recovering those particular memories. He figured it was best they stay lost inside his head. He hadn't thought about what the other people were going through. Rachel. Jimmy. Even Matt. They were all witnesses to him getting shot. To him laying on the floor bleeding.

 

"Surgery took so long. Sitting in the waiting room, just waiting." Rachel continued. "I kept telling myself the longer it took the better. That meant you were still alive, still fighting. All I could think about was what would happen if you died. What was I going to do?"

 

"You would have continued living." Even as he said the words, they sounded weak. If the roles had been reversed and he was the one waiting to see if Rachel made it out of surgery, he would have been doing the same. What would he do if Rachel wasn't part of his life? There would have been a huge hole in his heart; a huge void in his life where she resided.

 

"You're such a huge part of my life." She raised her head to look at him, shocked to see the tear tracks on his cheeks. "Our lives are intertwined. It's like tossing a teaspoon of salt into a teaspoon of sugar. Impossible to separate. And the guilt. The guilt of knowing that I wasted what could have been our final moments a thousand miles away not talking to you. That could have been how it ended. Me angry over something you didn't even do. How could I live with myself after that?"

 

"None of this happened. Don't play the shoulda coulda woulda game, okay?" JC tilted her head up until she met his eyes again. "I should have taken the first flight to Mississippi when I found out that's where you were. I could have told you how I felt on that ski trip in 2006. I should have told you how I felt then. I could have told you how I felt so many times over the years. But I didn't. You could have told me how you felt in Miami. You should have told me about the voicemail but Rachel, even if you did. This still could have happened. Addison still could have tried to shoot you. You don't know."

 

"I'm sorry about how I reacted over the voicemail."

 

"I know you are. And I'm sorry for not chasing after you and finding out what was wrong." JC sent her a small smile. "You run next time, I'm on the next plane chasing you to Mississippi." His smile grew when Rachel laughed. "And if you ever try to quit over an e-mail again..."

 

"Try? I did quit."

 

JC shook his head. "I never accepted it." He laughed seeing Rachel's bewildered look. "Just wait until your next performance review." He frowned when Rachel's face transformed into a grin that reminded him of the look the Grinch gave when he had the idea to steal Christmas in Whoville. Not that he would ever tell her that particular comparison out loud. He liked what was left of his body parts exactly where they were.

 

"I don't think that performance review is going to be bad." Rachel said, the grin still firmly in place.

 

"Oh yeah? How do you figure?"

 

"Yeah," Rachel leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. She grinned against his lips feeling him trying to deepen the kiss. "Definitely not bad," she whispered and captured his lips.

 

*~*

 

"I smell coffee." Rachel mumbled as she buried her face in the pillow clutching it tight.

 

"You know my parents can't start the day without it."

 

"What time izzit?"

 

JC turned his head to look at the clock on the bedside table. "Quarter ‘til eight." He grinned when Rachel groaned again. He rolled over onto his left side sliding his hand beneath his pillow. He was still tender and felt the twinge of pain. He'd be glad when every movement didn't hurt.

 

"I planned on sleeping later than this," Rachel turned her head. She met his eyes and smiled. There had been some nerves last night on her part. The impromptu welcome home party had thwarted JC goal of moving her into his room. In the end, she had only gathered pajamas, her toothbrush, facewash, and a hairbrush. She hadn't realized how long she had taken in the bathroom until JC had knocked on the door asking if she was okay. The nerves had dissipated when she crawled beneath the covers and scooted close to him; her head on his chest, her arm across his middle. Sleep had come almost immediately. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Good. I think I'm gonna take a shower. Be nice to shower again."

 

"Not a fan of sponge baths?" Rachel teased. She palmed his cheek and ran a thumb across the dark stubble on his cheek. JC hadn't shaved since she had done it for him. "Maybe find your face again?"

 

"Maybe I'm waiting on you to do it for me." JC smiled seeing the surprised look on her face. "Dad told me."

 

"I missed your face."

 

JC covered her hand with his and brought hers to his mouth where he pressed a kiss to her fingers. He had been confused when he felt the stubble on his cheek and asked his parents if there was some medical reasoning it had been shaved. He'd been shocked to learn that Rachel had shaven him. His father had relayed the story of him walking Rachel through the process and how she'd been nervous at her first; her hand shaking. Roy had told JC had she had settled and grew more confident with each stroke. It made him wonder how it would feel if he had been awake.

 

He leaned up on his elbow. The movement reminded him of the tender areas on his chest, but it didn't draw pain. Reaching out, he brushed a strand of hair from Rachel's cheek and tucked it behind her ear. He watched as she turned on her back as she shifted closer to him. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her.

 

"You are not cleared to go any further than this," Rachel mumbled against his lips when she felt his hand at her hip.

 

"I finally have you in my bed and I can't do anything about it," JC laid back on the bed and gave a dramatic sigh.

 

Rachel laughed and moved closer to him, leaning up on her elbow. "Maybe I should stay in my room until then. If the temptation is too much..."

 

"No," JC shook his head. He turned his body toward her and drew her into his arms. "Now that you're here you're not leaving."

 

"Trust me," Rachel said as she snuggled closer. "I'm not going anywhere."

 

They laid wrapped up in each others arms well into the nine o'clock hour. Neither wanted to extract themselves from the tangle of limbs. They talked softly. Dozed off and on. Rachel used the time to bask at the fact that JC was still there. She could feel his arms wrapped around her, his fingers moving lightly over her skin. Feel his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. Hear his heart beat in her ear. She had come so close to losing everything. In a split second, he could have been gone from her life.

 

Pain rippled through her as she thought about JC sized-hole in her life if he had died. The pain was sharp and it went deep. It was unbearable to think about. JC had told her she would have continued living. She would have, she couldn't dispute it but her quality of life would have been severely diminished. While she would be trying work through the darkest days of her life, there would be press. Family. Friends. Fans. Lawyers. Everyone would mean well. Didn't mean she wanted to deal with them. Not when half of her was gone. People could say they understand, but she was certain they didn't. She was certain they didn't know how much JC meant to her. They wouldn't know how she would be completely devastated without him. How she wouldn't even be certain she wanted to continue living without him. She didn't even know how. It would like starting over. Starting back over from the beginning. She would have to go through the rest of her life without JC by her side. There would be no sending him a text with a funny story that happened to her while she out. She wouldn't be able to pick up the phone and call him. She wouldn't be able to seek his advice. There would be no more road trips up the Pacific Coast Highway in his convertible with the top down. No more random trips to DisneyLand. No more blasting NSYNC songs to get on his nerves. It would be figuring out how to live again.

 

Rachel thought about what it would be like if JC hadn't pushed her out of the way; if Addison would have shot her like she had intended. If she had died. The effect her death would have on people. Her death wouldn't bring the press. Not like JC's would. The press would comment because she was Lance's sister. It would bring more press because it happened in JC's house in an apparent love triangle. The events would feed gossip rags for months. She had no will. All her things would go to her parents. Her heart hurt thinking of her mother sorting through her bedroom, deciding what to keep and what to donate. She wondered if JC would keep anything. If she had anything that he'd treasure because it would remind him of her.

 

The line of thinking made her wonder if JC had a will. It wasn't a topic they had discussed before. She assumed he had one. Unlike her, he had a lot of money in the bank, property, investments, royalties. The only thing in her name was her car and a modest bank account. JC's death would mean lawyers and court filings. She wondered what would happen to his things. Like her, she assumed everything would go to his parents. Neither one of them had a spouse or kids. Would she be allowed to keep anything? What would she keep? Could she choose without deciding to keep it all? Could she choose to stay in the house with everything exactly as he left it? His clothes in the closet. Spare change on his dresser top. Half used bottles in his shower. Could she keep it all the same? Would it make her feel closer to him as she wondered the rooms of the house they had once shared? Would she even be allowed to stay in the house? What would happen to the house if he died? Would it be sold? His parents didn't want to live in California. There would be a need for them to keep the house. Never mind that it was her home and had been for a decade. She would have to move. Where would she move?

 

"What are you thinking about?" JC asked. He could feel her tense in his arms, no longer relaxed as she had been. One of her hands had tightened its grip in his shirt.

 

Rachel shook her head, trying to banish the thoughts from her mind. None of that mattered anymore. She didn't die. JC didn't die. He survived. He was going to be okay. She wouldn't have to figure out how to live without him. "It's not important."

 

"Don't do that." JC said sternly. "Don't hide what you're thinking from me. You never have before, don't start now."

 

Rachel gave an aborted laugh. "JC, I've been in love with you since 2004. Safe to say I've hid plenty of thoughts from you."

 

JC laughed softly. He couldn't dispute that. "Okay fine. Feelings aside, you've always told me what you're thinking. Even if you know I'm not going to like it."

 

"It's not important."

 

"Rachel..."

 

"It's just a bunch of ‘what ifs'. If you would have died or if I would have died. You didn't and I didn't. So it doesn't matter anymore."

 

JC tightened his arms around her and pressed a kiss into her hair. "We're gonna get through this, you know?"

 

"I know." Rachel nuzzled her head against his chest. "It's just too close to thinking you might die. Time right."

 

"Time. And talking."

 

Rachel made a face and shifted away from JC. She laid her head on the pillow next to him and curled her arm beneath it. His head rest on the same pillow. His eyes were open, watching. She tucked the bed covers in her arm pit. She stilled her fidgeting when his hand reached out and grasped hers. Their entwined hands lay on the bed between their bodies. "I was just thinking about continuing living if you had died. How everything would be different."

 

"I didn't mean to sound so flippant when I said that. Trust me, if you had died, I wouldn't have been able to pick up and just move on. You said it yesterday, trying to separate us is like trying to separate salt and sugar."

 

"Thinking about all the stuff we do together that I wouldn't be able to do anymore. How I wouldn't be able to call you if I needed you. The stories I couldn't tell anymore because you wouldn't be there to break in and finish telling it when I ultimately left something out. Or the ones where only you would get because there were the kind of ‘guess you had to be there' story. Never being able to finish a crossword puzzle. You know I picked up a crossword puzzle book at the airport on my way to Mississippi."

 

JC was used to Rachel segueing into random stories in the middle of a story. It was just another quirk he loved about her. He'd been in attendance to many times where she'd begin a story and end up in a completely different topic without ever finishing the original story. By the time he'd call her on it, she couldn't even remember what she'd been talking about until he would start telling her.

 

"I went through all the clues and barely made a dent in the puzzle," Rachel continued. "Then I remembered it was something we'd always do in airports. It was my crossword book, but you'd end up doing most of the puzzles because I never knew any of the answers. I was basically your secretary taking dictation." She watched his eyes crinkle as he smiled.

 

"Well you do have better handwriting between the two of us."

 

"I wondered what I would do. Where I would live..."

 

"Where you would live?" JC interrupted. "Why would you wonder about that? You would live here. It's your house."

 

"Technically it's your house. And if you died it would be part of your estate."

 

"So?"

 

"JC, I know you're not this obtuse. You know about death, estates, next of kin... all that jazz."

 

JC leaned up on his elbow. "Of course. I'm just wondering why you think you wouldn't be a part of ‘all that jazz'."

 

"Because everything would be passed to your next of kin. Your parents. I highly doubt they want a house in California."

 

"If I don't have a will it would go to next of kin, but I have a will."

 

"You do?" Rachel asked surprised. She hadn't known.

 

"Of course. I had one after the money started coming in with the group. My parents made me get one." JC explained. "Of course everything was going to them anyway. Over the years I've changed it...updated it."

 

"I didn't know..."

 

JC thought about the last time he updated his will and all other documents pertaining to his estate in the event of his passing. He had been fresh off his off his break up with Kathryn. Emotions had been swirling around him during that time. Mostly anger when he realized she might have loved him but she was in love with the money and lifestyle he could give her more. She hadn't been on any of the paperwork but something spurred him to update it. Rachel had always been in his will since he realized his feelings for her. From that moment he wanted to make sure she was taken care of if he was gone. A few years ago he had even written a letter to her. It was in a sealed envelope with his lawyer to be delivered after his death. In it, he confessed all of his feelings. The letter spanned four pages. He wanted to make sure he said all he needed to say.

 

"I left everything to you."

 

"Me?" Rachel squeaked, her eyes widening. "Why on earth would you do that?"

 

"Because I love you."

"Well hello my little peanuts," Lance said into the microphone as the music to ‘It's Gonna Be Me' faded in his ears. "Happy Monday."

 

"Monday's are never happy." Drew said.

 

"I am happy today DrewBoo."

 

"Why is that Lance?"

 

 It's been what? Three weeks since my birthday and I finally received my birthday present from my sister."

 

"She had a good reason for being late, Lance," Lisa spoke up.

 

"It's really not my birthday without Rachel being late on the gift. Last year I didn't get my gift until June. That's right. June. An entire month later."

 

"Keep it up and next year you won't get one at all."

 

Lance grinned at the voice in his ear and he met his sister's gaze across the table. She had an exasperated look on her face. There had been plenty of teasing earlier when she arrived at his house with his present in tow. He'd been rendered speechless though when he tore the wrapping paper off and saw the drawing.

 

"I'm hoping for a niece or nephew next year," Lance laughed and dodged the pen Rachel threw at him.

 

"I'll be sure to tell Stacy. I bet Mama is already on the phone.... ‘Do you know what your brother just said?'" Rachel made a perfect imitation of her mom.

 

"You know Mama can't wait for another grandchild." He grinned.

 

"What are you waiting on?" Rachel asked Lance.

 

Lance laughed and his gaze slid to JC, sitting next to Rachel. "Anything to add JC?"

 

JC laughed and shook his head. "Oh no... I'm not getting in the middle of this. I have to ride home with her."

 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

 

"Alright," Drew broke in before JC could answer Rachel's question. "Before we start down this rabbit hole and lose the show. Introduce our peanuts Lance."

 

"I have DrewBoo..."

 

"What up everybody?"

 

"Giggles Delcampo."

 

"Hi!" Lisa sounded as a baby laugh sound effect played in her ear.

 

"My sister, Rachel."

 

"Hello!"

 

"And the man of the hour," Lance grinned as he spun side to side in his desk chair. "JC Chasez."

 

"Hey," JC chuckled. "Man of the hour?"

 

"Well all these people listening didn't tune in to hear us babble." Drew said. "They're here for you. So tell us how you are?"

 

"I'm doing good," JC spoke into the microphone in front of it. "I just had a check up this morning. Everything's good. I can't wait to get my strength back. Everything tires me out. I spend most of the day laying on the couch. The worst part is forgetting about the incision and I'll bend over or twist."

 

Lance nodded. "I hear ya. I had to get my appendix taken out last summer. They did a laparoscopic..."

 

"I can't believe you pronounced that correctly." Drew cut in.

 

"Don't ask me to pronounce it again," Lance laughed. "In this procedure, they had to make three incisions. One of those they put a video camera in. The other incision was the one where the doctor went in to remove my appendix. I couldn't lift anything afterward. It hurt to laugh. Even sneeze. I laid on the couch..."

 

"Totally milking it." Rachel laughed. "You had Michael waiting on you hand and foot."

 

"What I'm getting at," Lance spoke over his sister, not bothering to negate her statement. "Is I know what JC's is going through. Obviously my ordeal wasn't as serious as his... but abdominal surgery takes a lot out of you. You forget how often you actually use those muscles until they hurt."

 

"Definitely man," JC nodded. "I feel a sneeze coming on and I'm begging every Deity to make it go away. Holding it in makes it hurt even worse. I have this throw pillow I'm supposed to use. You hold it against your stomach and it's supposed to offer support. I don't know who came up with that but it doesn't work at all."

 

"How did the doctor's visit go this morning?" Lisa asked. She had been so happy when he came through the door of Lance's house earlier. It had been the first time she had seen him since the shooting.

 

"Good. Good." JC answered. "Got all the stiches removed. Everything is healing as it should. It's just a matter of time now. Letting everything heal."

 

"That's usually the worst part," Drew said. "Waiting."

 

"It really is. I'm ready to go and think I am, but my body is quick to tell me nope. Not yet."

 

"Unfortunately for JC, losing his spleen means he's at a greater risk for infections. So that means vaccinations."

 

"Oh man," Lance groaned even as he chuckled. "Poor C."

 

"So today we started the first round."

 

"For those of you who don't know," Drew said. "JC has a fear of needles."

 

"So how'd you do today? Did you feint? Cry? My sister have to hold your hand and take you out for ice cream afterward?" Lance teased.

 

"Very funny." JC gave a small laugh. He'd been subjected to teasing over his fear of needles for many years.

 

"We gotta take a break right here. Stick around, we'll be back with more from JC after this."

 

*~*

 

When Lance's radio show was over, the four of them - JC, Rachel, Lance, and Michael - went out for an early dinner. They picked a Mexican restaurant near Lance's place off the 101. JC hadn't been dressed for dining out. He'd thrown on sweat pants, a t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie for his trip to the doctors. It was the kind of clothing he had been living in since he'd gotten out of the hospital. He didn't let the clothing bother him. It had been nice to just be out of the house.

 

Dinner had been fun. Even though he laughed too much and was hurting. He tried to not let that put a damper on the night. He'd been cooped up in the house too long. He hadn't been embellishing on Lance's show about being tired. The most mundane tasks wore him out. The one attempt he made at grocery shopping with Rachel had ended with him going back to the car while Rachel finished. He couldn't wait to get back to normal.

 

Normal.

 

JC wasn't even sure what that was. A couple months ago he had been gearing up to spend part of the summer on the road touring. He had a girl group he was working with trying to get them jump started. He had his best friend, Matt. He had his everything - Rachel. Whom he'd been about to spill his feelings to.

 

The musical was no longer. Not only did his shooting end his participation, funding had fallen through and the whole thing had been scrapped. Girl Radical was starting to split at the seams. It had gotten worse since his shooting. JC wasn't sure it was going to last much longer. He wasn't even sure he wanted it to.

 

Matt.

 

He hadn't talked to Matt since the day of the shooting. Since the day his best friend had informed him about the role he played in him almost losing Rachel before he ever even had her. It still pained him to think about. Pained him to think Matt decided to take the risk on his and Rachel's relationship instead of coming to him. JC hadn't been sure what he could have done to help Matt, other than get him to confess to Renee. The indiscretion on Matt's part wouldn't have hurt their friendship. He wasn't one to judge. What he did to Rachel, though, JC wasn't sure he could get over. If Lance hadn't been able to convince Rachel to come back to LA for their birthday party. If Lance had been the one to come over to pick up Rachel's outfit. He probably wouldn't have gotten shot yes. But Rachel probably wouldn't be in his house at the moment.

 

He lifted his eyes toward the ceiling from his spot on the piano bench on the first floor of his house. Every so often he would hear her soft footfalls as she moved about the house. He wasn't sure what she was doing. She had been sitting at the bar in the kitchen with her laptop and a notebook going through e-mails. She had joked with him how it would be easier to delete them all and start over. He'd seen the number in the red notification bubble on her phone and he didn't envy her at all. Every time she made a dent in the e-mail count, more would be delivered burying her once more. He was certain most of them weren't important. People looking for a quote from him. Looking to book him on their show. At this point, he had no interest in doing either. He was close to telling her just to select all and delete.

 

His parents had left at the beginning of the week. It had made him both sad and relieved. He had enjoyed having them here. He was grateful for them while he was in the hospital. They had been able to make sure Rachel took care of herself and when she didn't, they took care of her like she had been one of their children. When he had been released, his parents took care of other tasks allowing him to rest and recover. It also allowed Rachel to rest. He knew she didn't get enough rest while he was in the hospital. She couldn't have. She had been there constantly. Refusing to leave his side even when he told her it was okay. On the inside he was thankful. He wanted here there, by his side.

 

With his parents still at his house, it had been hard for them to settle into their new relationship. It felt like there was a constant chaperone. His parents didn't care about their change in status. They had been after him for years to make a move. It made it hard to have conversations outside the privacy of his - their bedroom. By the time he retired to the room, he was so worn out to truly talk.

 

Now his parents were gone and it was just him and Rachel in the house. Conversations happened more freely. He was certain when they would settle into the type of relationship where it wouldn't matter who they were around. They were well on their way. Even now it felt like they had been in a relationship for years instead of weeks. He supposed they had been in a relationship for years. They were just adding another level.

 

He wondered what it would have been like if he had been able to wake up on Rachel's birthday and give her the day he had planned out. Taking her out to brunch, followed by the movies. When they returned from the movie, he was gonna give her the envelope containing the trip. He wondered how she would have reacted when she realized what he gift was. For months he thought about her reaction. Would she be speechless? Would she cry? Would she throw her arms around his neck in excitement?

 

The trip was in jeopardy of not happening. At least for him. He hadn't even brought the subject up with his doctor yet. He was certain he would be healed by the time the trip came up in October. It was still four months away. What concerned him was the fact that he was more susceptible to infection. When he first planned the trip, he hadn't been concerned how close the nearest hospital was to their location. Now he needed to revisit the itinerary. If he wasn't cleared to travel overseas, would Rachel still go on the trip without him? Who would she go with? Melissa? Lance? Maybe he could put the trip off until the following year.  Give him more time to fully heal. Give him time to be fully vaccinated. Once he got a better handle on his new health issues, he would be better prepared for the trip. It was something he needed to talk to Rachel about. And his doctor.

 

JC looked around the room. His domain. All of his music items were stored in this room. This was where he spent hours working out a hook on a song he was working on. Working out the kinks in lyrics that weren't quite where he wanted them to be. The piano he sat at had been through a lot. He'd written many songs on it. Had played even more. There were notebooks filled with many songs he had written. Some completely finished. Some only half. Others only had a line or two that he couldn't get out of his head. Papers with melodies written out. A computer sat on a desk housing all the software he needed. The computer itself was filled with many of his songs he had recorded. Songs for himself. Demos he had intended for others to use. It still had songs that were supposed to be on his sophomore album that never came to fruition.

 

JC lifted his hands to the piano keys. He paused before he started pressing the keys. The melody flowed from his finger tips. He played it over and over. Just a little snippet because it was all he remembered. The song was supposed to have been on The Story of Kate.

 

"My God," Rachel said as she walked into the room. "I haven't heard that song in forever. What made you start playing that one?"

 

JC dropped his arms from the keys and shifted on the bench to look at Rachel. He watched as she walked into the room and took a seat on the couch. "No idea," he shrugged. "What have you been up to?"

 

"Making room for my things in your closet."

"What?" JC asked staring at her. "What do you mean ‘making room'?" He narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"

 

Rachel laughed. "Tossed the clothes I don't like."

 

"You didn't."

 

Rachel's laughter grew at JC's look. She watched as he got up from the piano bench and stalked toward her. She tried swallowing her laughter, but she couldn't. Her lips quivered in amusement.

 

"Why does my stuff have to get tossed to make room for your stuff?"

 

"Because it's my stuff. And I didn't like it."

 

"I don't think I like this." JC took a seat on the couch next to her. The tenderness was still there. The doctor told him to continue expecting the twinge for a week or two yet.

 

Rachel grinned. "Get used to it." She shifted on the couch to snuggle against him, laying her head on his shoulder. She felt his head rest against hers. "All your clothes are right where you left them. I got most of my stuff moved into the closet. What I didn't move over, I'm going to get rid of. I need a dresser. There is no way we can share."

 

JC had figured that was going to be the case. His closest was a huge walk-in big enough for two. A lot of his clothes and shoes had spilled on either side of the closet. Mostly because he hated seeing it half empty. He tried to go through some of the clothes hanging, but the lifting and reaching above his head still caused him pain. He'd been able to do a little over the weekend. He didn't need to downsize, everything would fit back to his side and allow room for Rachel's clothes. It was the best time to weed through his clothes and get rid of items he no longer wore. Even if he downsized the clothes in his dresser, there still wouldn't have been enough room to fit Rachel's entire dresser into his.

 

"I figure we can just leave the furniture in that room and maybe find a couple pieces that match what you have already."

 

"We can get all new if you want." It was a minor adjustment for him. They had lived together for so long he looked at everything in the house as theirs. Everything but his bedroom. His bedroom was his. Just like her bedroom was hers. Everything else was theirs. They picked out the sectional couch in the living room together. Just like they decided on the patio furniture together. The backsplash in the kitchen.

 

Rachel shook her head. "Why would we do that?"

 

"If you don't like it..."

 

"I like it fine. We just need to add another dresser. And a vanity table." She hadn't looked up the pieces she wanted yet, but spent a little bit of time in the bedroom imaging the furniture being rearranged. It would work out perfectly. JC's bedroom was spacious.

 

"We can start looking tomorrow," JC promised. He couldn't explain the rush. He wanted her fully moved in to his room. It didn't matter than she slept in there and had been since he had gotten home from the hospital. Her room still held most of her treasured items and it didn't feel real. It felt like staying in his room was only temporary that she would move back across the hall at any moment.

 

"Once we get those, I can really move my things." Rachel explained. "Right now I'd just be piling them on the floor while we wait. They'd just get in the way." She had moved quite a bit over since they'd been home. Her room was looking emptier with each passing day. The bathroom had been completely cleaned out. All her items were now in the bathroom she shared with JC. She'd already listened to him complaining about the numerous bottles in the shower, not to mention the ones now on the sink counter. She had laid in bed trying to hold back her laughter the other morning when she heard the bottles on the counter clang together and bounce on the countertop when he fumbled with something but ended up knocking them all over. When the curse had flown from his lips the laughter escaped causing him to peek around the door jam and send her a glare. The effect was lost with the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. She just laughed harder.

 

"So what were you down here doing?" Rachel asked after a few moments of comfortable silence. Once she cleaned up the mess she had made in the bedroom, she had went off to find him, hoping she could talk him in to going to bed. It was still relatively early but she wanted to crawl beneath the covers and snuggle together. Watch a movie on TV.

 

"Thinking."

 

"About?" Rachel pressed.

 

"A bunch of different things," JC shrugged. "How I can't wait to not feel tired all of the time. You. Our trip to Europe. Us. Matt. Music."

 

Rachel frowned as she listened to the list. There was so much to unravel. Since getting out of the hospital, JC had kept quiet about a lot of topics. Rachel let it go, hoping he just needed to time to work through some things. "What about us?" She asked hesitantly. "Are you having second thoughts?"

 

"What?" JC lifted his head to look at her. "I was thinking about how we're settling in now that my parents are gone...What did I tell you about jumping to conclusions?"

 

She felt the blush cross her cheeks. "Well Rome wasn't built in a day."

 

JC lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her head. "I am not having second thoughts about us. Never. I love you."

 

Rachel lifted her head and kissed him. The kiss continued and she lifted her hand to cup his cheek. Her mouth opened beneath his and his tongue entered her mouth, seeking, exploring.

 

JC broke the kiss and stood up from the couch. He took her hand and pulled her up. He threaded his free hand through her hair and kissed her again before he led her from the room and up the stairs. He held her hand as he made sure the doors were locked and all the lights were shut off. Then he led her upstairs and into their bedroom. The room no longer smelled like him. It was a combined mixture of them both. Standing in the middle of their room he kissed her again.

 

"JC..." She whispered against his lips. Her hands gripped his upper arms as she clung to him. His hands pressed into her back holding her to him. It haven't moved passed kissing for them. She hadn't even tried. Partially because she knew JC was still recovering. Partially because she wasn't exactly sure how to move their relationship to that level. It was slightly terrifying.

 

Cupping her face with his hands, he stared into her eyes as they blinked open. "I love you."

 

Rachel's features soften at JC's words. Her hands moved from his upper arms and slid around his neck. When his forehead rested upon hers, her eyes slipped close again. They stood in the middle of their bedroom in an embrace. The quiet of the night around them.  "I love you JC. There's no place I'd rather be than right here with you." The next kiss left her breathless. "JC..."

 

"I got the all clear today," he whispered against her lips. His hands dipped beneath the hem of her t-shirt to the warm skin of her back.

 

"I don't want to hurt you..." Her hands slid from around his neck to his chest just above the bullet wound.

 

"You won't. You can't." He whispered then kissed her again.

 

"We'll stop if..."

 

JC silenced her words with a kiss. "I'm okay."

 

"Promise?"

 

"Promise," JC said and there were no more words.

"Mr. Chasez, Ms. Bass," Assistant District Attorney Holden greeted as his secretary led the two into his office. He came around his desk to greet them with a handshake. "Please have a seat." He swept his hand out in front of him motioning toward the two chairs in front of his desk.  "How are you? How's the healing process?"

 

"Good." JC said. He actually was starting to feel human again which each passing day. He was becoming stronger and stronger. Being tired all the time was waning. He and Rachel took to taking small hikes at Runyon Canyon. They were relaxed hikes to get him up and moving. The incisions weren't as angry looking as they were when he first woke up in the hospital. It didn't stop him from staring at them in the mirror every morning before he showered. One small deviation by the bullet and he would have been dead before he hit the ground.

 

It was a sobering thought. He tried not to think about it too often. But the evidence stared back at him every morning. He had come so close... He glanced at Rachel. What would have been lost? Telling Rachel she would have continued living in the event of his death was probably one of the stupidest things he had ever uttered. Those moments, when he first woke in the hospital, he'd been confused, lost, and fearing Rachel had... he slammed the door on the thoughts. He knew what thought when he first woke up.

 

JC had got a taste of what his life would without Rachel in it in the weeks leading up to the shooting. The emptiness not only in his house, but the emptiness he felt in his heart. Rehearsals and impending tour would have only done so much to fill up the emptiness. Touring would only last so long. Then he would have returned to California. Gone back to the empty house.

 

Their relationship wouldn't have ended that way. As soon as he was back in California... as soon as the curtain fell on the final show he would have been on a plane to Mississippi. If the shooting never happened and the funding still had fallen through, he was have been in a car heading north to Mississippi from New Orleans. JC had told her as much when it came up in conversation the other day. The guilt still riddled Rachel. How she ran and didn't give him the benefit of the doubt.  

 

"Great. That's great to hear," Edward Holden said with a smile. "Now I've called you here to go over your court case. It's going to trial on Monday."

 

Rachel gripped JC's hand tightly in hers. "She didn't accept the plea deal?"

 

Edward shook his hand. "Unfortunately not." He had been hoping Addison would have taken the deal. It was a sure win case for the state. He had not only the victim, but three other witnesses that identified Addison as the shooter.  There would be no way the jury would not convict though he had been wrong before. This case, he was certain, would be a slam dunk. The defense had no case. Addison brought a gun into JC's home. An argument ensued. JC ended up getting shot after stepping in front of Rachel. Addison then tried to shoot Rachel. Would have if Matthew hadn't stepped in and fought Addison for the gun.

 

"So now what?" JC asked. He'd been hoping Addison would accept the deal. He didn't want the chaos or stress from a trial. The trial could last weeks or even months. There was a chance the DA could retry the case if there was a mistrial. The defense could file appeal after appeal. He and Rachel would be dealing with it for years to come, never truly able to put the event behind them. He had wanted Addison to accept the deal and be out of their lives.

 

"The defense doesn't have a case," Edward told them honestly.

 

"Is she going to try to plead insanity?"

 

Edward shook his head. "If she was going to plead insanity, she would have done so during the hearing."

 

"She wasn't insane. She was angry." Rachel said. "At me. If I hadn't come downstairs none of this would have happened."

 

"Rachel, no," JC shifted in the chair, sitting up straighter. "I've told you this. It's not your fault. Whether you were there or not. Whether it was that day or another day. She was going to do something."

 

"JC's right. I've seen this plenty of times in my career. Something like this was going to happen. It was just a matter of when and where. If it wasn't on the third then it would have been on the fourth or fourteenth. You've both explained in your statement, as well as Mr. Harry and Mr. Morrison that Ms. Wright was infatuated with JC. She viewed you as a threat. Eventually she would have tried to remove you from the picture."

 

That was JC's line of thinking. If the events had played out differently, if Matt hadn't manipulated them, Addison would have eventually gotten tired of Rachel hanging around all the time. She would have tried to get rid of her. Addison could have gotten into his house under some rouse and shot her when she was alone. It could have been something as simple as pushing Rachel down the stairs. It could have happened when he wasn't there to save her.

 

"It didn't matter if you hadn't come down the stairs," JC squeezed her hand. "After what Matt told me, I would have drug him upstairs to your room and made him explain. It could have happened there."

 

Rachel nodded. She knew all this. Sometimes it was hard for her to see it. She knew if she hadn't been there, JC wouldn't have gotten shot and almost died.

 

"What we're going to do here today is trial prep," Edward moved the conversation along. "I'm going to walk you through what's going to happen and what to expect. I'm going to go over the statements you've given. We'll go over what will happen when I call you both to the witness stand. We'll go over the questions I'll ask and how you'll answer them. I'll also prepare you for what the defense will might ask and how you'll answer."

Rachel excited the courthouse on First Street and quickly walked away from the building. There was so much information in her head. Her emotions were in turmoil. It had taken her awhile to get through the statement she had written at the police department the morning JC had woken up. Her handwriting had been sloppy and hesitant in parts. She had to give her account of the accident as much as she could remember. All of it. From the argument she'd overhead from her room. To when Addison pulled the gun. To JC bleeding on the floor.

 

If that wasn't enough, reading what had happened, she had to talk about it. Not just one time either. Multiple times as the ADA questioned her and helped her cultivate her answers. He had told her emotions were good when she had teared up. The jury would better resonate with her tears and sadness and fears. She simply thought they should read her statement and be done with it. She didn't want to get up on the stand and speak in front of not only a judge and jury, but the many people who would be sitting in the galley of the courtroom as well as the press.

 

"Hey," JC grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her to a stop. He turned her around and took her into his arms, holding her tight. "Shh...It's okay." He whispered when he heard the sniffles against his neck. He tightened his arms. Her cries pained him. He wanted the whole ordeal to be behind them. He wanted to be healed. He wanted to enjoy their newfound relationship.

 

"I don't know if I can do this, JC." Rachel's voice came out broken. Her hands pressed hard against his back, needing to hold him tight. Needing to be held just as tight in return. "Telling everyone what happened...living through it all over again. It's like it never stops."

 

At her words, JC held her tighter than he thought he possibly could. People walked by all around them. Some heading into the courthouse, others leaving. He continued to hold her and tried to shush her tears. "This will be over soon," he whispered. "I promise." It wasn't something he was sure he could promise. The ADA had ensured the case would be an easy victory. The evidence against Addison was insurmountable. Not only was there gun powder residue on Addison proving she had been the one holding the gun, but there was eye witness testimony from three other people, four including him. The only issue that could arise was the gun powder residue on Matt since he'd been struggling with Addison when it when off he second time. Even then, the prosecution had Jimmy's, Matt's, and Rachel's testimony.

 

"Why won't she just take a plea deal? I don't understand. There is no way she's going to be found not guilty."

 

"To hurt us." JC told her. "She's doing it to hurt us. She gets to hurt us and be in the news all at the same time. She'll probably try to make money off this whole thing."

 

"Can she even do that? Is it even legal?" Rachel lifted her head from JC's chest to look at him.

 

"I don't think so," JC raised his hands and wiped the tears from her face.

 

"What if they try to spin it that Matt was the shooter? He has the gun residue on his hands. I didn't see the second shot..."

 

JC was already shaking his head before Rachel finished her thought. "It doesn't matter. You saw the first shot when she shot me. That's the one that matters. The second bullet went into the wall. What you aren't able to say, Jimmy will be able to. Between you, Jimmy, and Matt, she doesn't stand a chance."

 

"I just want this to be over." She felt more tears well up in her eyes and she pressed her face into JC's neck.

 

"So do I."

 

*~*

 

"How are you doing?"

 

"I'm okay," JC told his mother as he sat down on the lounger on the balcony. He could smell the chlorine wafting up from the pool below. He felt the itch to dive into the cool water and swim the length. He'd been cleared to soak in a bath but he hadn't thought to ask about swimming in a pool.

 

Lifting his feet onto the lounger he laid back and stared out over the view. The shadows were long as the sun sank over his house. The heat from the summer's day hadn't faded a bit. The city sounds were muted at this distance. In a few hours, the city would be lit up as the sun set and darkness reigned.

 

"You don't sound okay. What's wrong?" Karen grabbed her cup of coffee and walked from the living room where she had been watching a rerun of a drama on CBS with Roy. It was quieter in the den. She flipped on a lamp and took a seat in Roy's old recliner. She'd been after him for years to get rid of it, but he refused. She thought it was an eyesore. They had compromised and moved it out of the living room and into the den.

 

"The trial is starting soon..."

 

"I wish you'd let me and your father come out." Karen interrupted.

 

"You don't need to. You guys were just here for almost a month."

 

"We have no where we need to be." Karen spoke. "That's the point of retirement."

 

JC smiled. "I know, but you don't need to be here."

"Yes. But we want to be there. For you and for Rachel."

 

It might good to have his parents in town. JC figured during the trial he and Rachel would basically be sequestered in their home. They wouldn't be able to go out without being hounded by the press. That would probably extend to Lance as well. "Let me talk to Rachel and I'll let you know."

 

"I'll start looking for flights," Karen told her son. "Are you worried about the trial?"

"Not really. I'm more worried about Rachel. She's having a rough time. She's not sleeping. Barely eating. She's having nightmares."

 

"Oh, the poor girl," Karen said sympathetically. "Is she nervous about being called to the witness stand?"

 

"I don't think its nerves. I think it's more of the fact that she has to describe what happened."

"Ah," Karen nodded in understanding. "What happened was very traumatic for her. I know she was scared and worried. To be there... to witness it..." she felt a lump rise in her throat and she had to pause for a moment. "You have to be there for her JC."

"I am Mom."

 

"I know. I wish I could give you the answer that would fix it all, but there isn't one Sweetie. You have to be there for her. Listen to her when she talks. Try to get her to talk. Don't let her shut you out or keep everything inside. Hold her. Let her cry. Dry her tears. Comfort her. Let her know you love her."

 

"I do all that."

 

"Keep doing all that." Karen said firmly. She didn't doubt her son was doing everything she said and then some. The love she saw between JC and Rachel was something only dreamed about in romance novels or romantic movies. It was a rare find. "When this is all over, when the trial is over, take her away from LA."

 

"We have that trip to Europe in October." He still had to bring the trip up with is doctor. Still needed to get his opinion on if it was a good idea to go or if he should postpone the trip. Postponing the trip was probably the last thing Rachel wanted. It was something they both were looking forward to. If it was safer for him not to go... He didn't want to risk his health. He needed to be around for a long time. He finally had Rachel. He needed to take care of himself to ensure he'd be by her side for many years to come.

 

"Yes, but I'm talking about right after the trial. When it's over, get away for a long weekend. Your Uncle Will still has that place on Maury Island up near Seattle. I can give him a call and see if you guys could use it."

 

JC mulled over his mother's words. It wasn't a bad idea. If they still went on the Europe trip in October, it would be fine. The trip was still in October though. Five months away. He hoped the trial would be over within a week's timeframe. When it was finally over and Addison was found guilty, he could pile Rachel in a car. Their bags could already be packed. They could go to the airport right from the courthouse and be in Seattle in a few hours. Away from the city. Away from the press. Away from the scrutiny. Away from it all.

 

"Can you call him?"

 

"Sure Sweetie. I can give him a call as soon as we hang up." Karen agreed. If her husband's brother wasn't able to accommodate JC and Rachel, well Karen would find another place that would work just as well. She had plenty of extended family she could call. Roy too. If she hit a dead end, she would call Diane. Nothing could stop two mommas from taking care of their babies.

 

After the conversation with his was mother, JC went back inside.  When he had went outside to call his mom, Rachel had been sitting on the couch folding laundry. The living room was empty. Figuring she was upstairs putting clothes away, he climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway to their bedroom. Like the living room, the room was empty. The closet light was off. His dresser drawers were shut tight. As were the drawers in her dresser. As he turned to leave, he stared at the frame on the wall next to the door way. It was the sketch of him and Rachel from the skating rink. True to his word, he had found a frame to fit the 9X12 rendering. He hung it up without Rachel adding anything to the sketch. It was exactly how he had seen it in the hospital.

 

With a frown on his face as he left the room to search for Rachel. He checked the rest of the floor before heading back downstairs. When he still came up empty, he made his way down to the first level. The pool area was empty. Growing concerned he walked down the short hallway to his studio room and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her tucked in the corner of the couch. A small lamp was on casting the room in a muted glow. Her sketch book was sitting on the arm of the couch and her pencil moved over the pad in short confident strokes.

JC leaned a shoulder against the door jam with his arms tucked into the pocket of his jeans and watched. He watched the pencil move over the pad, those sure strokes. He watched the concentration on her face. He wished all Rachel had to do every day was get up and draw whatever was on her mind that day. Paint what had been in her dreams. He wanted to see the dark smudges on the palm of her hand. He wanted to see the smear of paint on her face from where she brushed her hair off her cheek forgetting about the wet paint on her fingers.

 

She still hadn't noticed him. He didn't want to startle her for fear she'd mess up. Though he was in the mood for one of her rants and raves. A smile grew on his lips as he remembered some of his favorite rants after he had inadvertently caused her to mess up. It was odd that she was down here in his studio drawing, especially with only the small lamp as light. The room held no windows. Rachel preferred to sketch upstairs where it was bathed in sunlight in the morning. The lighting fixtures were also better than what he had in the studio.

 

"I know you're there."

 

The soft spoken words caught him off guard. She hadn't looked at him, but he saw a small smile on her lips. JC pushed off the door jam and made his way into the room taking a seat next to her. Once he was seated he was able to see what she had been so focused on drawing. The drawing surprised him. He wasn't used to seeing Rachel draw anything of the sexual nature. Though the naked back of a woman probably wasn't as sexual as the thought that ran through his mind. Rachel had drawn a woman from behind. She was sitting on what could be considered a bed. He imagined it was left up to interpretation. The woman's hair was tucked over one shoulder. A sheet or blanket was meant to have been wrapped around the woman's waist at one point, but it had fall loose. It now lay on the bed and wrapped into her lap.

 

"Just when I think you can't amaze me anymore..." The detail was exquisite.

 

"You'd be more amazed if I turned her around and laid her down on the bed."

 

"Probably shocked. Dirty drawings aren't really your nature. What made you draw this?"

 

Rachel shrugged. "Not sure. Just what came out."

 

JC nodded in understanding. He had that happen plenty times working on music. Melodies and lyrics came out and he couldn't explain how or why. He just went with it. "What are you doing in here? I was looking all over for you."

 

"You'll probably think I'm weird."

 

"Doubtful. Try me."

 

"This is your space. Everything about this room is you. When I'm feeling a little off kilter being in here helps me relax. I would be in here a lot if you were somewhere without me. I'd miss you and being in this room made it feel like you were here. I'd turn on the music and sometimes I'd end up in here for hours." Rachel continued talking when JC made no move to speak. She kept her eyes down on the paper in front her, staring at the shadowed lines she made on the woman's back. "Even if you were home and in here working, I'd come in here and sit because that's where you were. And I just needed to be close to you."

 

JC reached across her body and placed his finger tips on her chin. He tilted her head toward him so she would meet his eyes. "Not weird," he said softly. He couldn't describe what hearing those words made him feel. He could recall plenty of times when Rachel would wonder in while he was working. In the earlier years, she'd have her lap top. That eventually morphed in to the smart phone and tablet. Most times she'd have a sketchpad. Other times she'd had a paperback novel. She'd sit on the couch out of the way. Something would settle in him when she was near. With his fingers still on her chin, he leaned down and kissed her.

 

When the kiss broke, Rachel shifted on the couch so she leaned into him instead of the couch arm.  JC shifted as well so she was more snuggled into his side, placing his arm around her shoulders. "I was just outside, you could have come out."

 

"I know, but you were on the phone."

 

"Just with my mom. She wants to come out for the trial."

 

"She doesn't have to do that. It will probably be a circus."

 

"You wanna call her up and explain that to her?"

 

Rachel smiled and gave a slight laugh. "When's she arriving?"

 

"Well she said she was gonna wait until we talked it over, but she probably already has her ticket." JC chuckled. "She did give me a good idea."

"What's that?"

 

"When the trial is over, getting away for a long weekend. Get away from the city. Some place quiet. My Uncle Will has a cabin up near Seattle on the lake. I haven't been there... oh man, since I was a kid. It was right on the lake. Was fairly secluded."

 

"Sounds great JC."

Karen glanced up at the arrival screens before her; eyes browsed the lines of flight information until she found the one she was looking for.  

 

12:48   AA   3522   Jackson   T5  Gate

 

‘Oh good,' she thought seeing the terminal. It was terminal where her flight had landed only twenty minutes ago. She stood off the side and waited, watching as attendants started getting ready for the emerging passengers from the flight. While she was waiting, she checked her purse making sure she had her billfold. Then she pulled her phone out and sent a quick text off to JC.

 

‘Landed. I'll see you in about an hour.'

JC had tried to insist on coming to pick her up from an airport. Karen convinced him not to; she and Roy would be fine getting a rental and driving to his place from the airport. Plus she had a trick up her sleeve.

 

The wait wasn't long before she saw the couple coming through the gate with the rest of the flight spilling out into the terminal. She tucked her phone back in her purse and started making her way into the crowd.

 

"Diane!" Karen greeted the woman with a smile. She hugged her. "Jim," she greeted Rachel's father with a hug as well. "How was your flight?"

 

"Good. Uneventful." Diane answered as she fixed the strap on her carry-on that had fallen off her shoulder.

 

"I'm glad we were able to get flights that landed close together. We probably couldn't do that again if we tried."

 

Diane nodded. "We lucked out. I thought Roy was coming?" she asked when she didn't see Karen's husband anywhere.

 

"He's here. I sent him to baggage claim to grab our luggage while I waited for you." Karen explained as the three adults started making their way toward baggage claim. "We'll meet him at the Avis counter. He was gonna get a rental."

 

Once the Bass's picked up their luggage, they met Roy who had already procured a rental car. When the greetings were through, they walked toward the car lot and climbed into their car with Roy behind the wheel.

 

"I'm so glad we were all able to be here," Karen spoke as her husband jumped onto the 405 heading north. "When I spoke to JC on Friday, he was really worried about Rachel. She's having a tough time with this going to trial."

 

"I just don't understand why this had to go to trial at all," Diane said. She knew her daughter was having a rough time. When Karen called her on Friday there was no hesitation. She immediately started booking a flight to California. "This woman can't possibly think she'll win."

 

"It's hard to tell what's in her head," Karen frowned. "All I know is its hurting Rachel which in turn is hurting JC. They've been through so much these last few months."

 

Diane agreed. It had been a rollercoaster of time since April, starting with Rachel showing up in Mississippi unannounced. "I'm so glad they were able to work everything out. She was breaking my heart in Mississippi. I didn't know how to help her. She wouldn't talk to me. Just drew in her sketch pad. Stacy was finally able to look at it. When she explained it to me..." she broke off, shaking her head. She could still feel the pain in her heart when she thought about the drawings Stacy described.

 

"There have been plenty of times Roy and I wanted to knock JC up along side the head. How he couldn't see what was right in front of him this whole time."

 

Diane understood completely. "I could never believe how he couldn't see Rachel's feelings for him. She wasn't very good at hiding them."

 

Karen laughed. "They finally realized what they had. I just wish it hadn't taken something like this..."

 

"Give them enough time," Jim turned his head to speak to Roy after listening to the conversation in the back seat. "I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't have them married by the time we head back home."

 

Roy laughing, nodding his head. "I wouldn't take that bet. But it's long overdue."

 

Jim nodded in agreement. He'd seen the hearts in his youngest daughter's eyes from the very first meeting. He had long since come to terms with the man his daughter was in love with. Granted he hadn't expected it to take seventeen years and he had hoped it would be someone closer to home, but he couldn't have picked a better man. JC was everything he wanted in a man for Rachel. He knew his daughter was in good hands.

 

"Like you wouldn't quickly buy a suit in a swanky store if they decided to get married tomorrow." Diane teased. 

 

"It would certainly put some happiness into the week. If any week needed it, it would be this one."

 

"Imagine what Lance would think," Diane laughed. "He was just teasing her a few months ago about being the last one standing. If she would slide in at the last minute..."

 

"How's that wedding planning going?" Karen asked. "It's so sweet that Lance asked JC to sing at the wedding."

 

"I'm not sure. Lance has been very quiet on wedding details. It's kind of scary. Worrisome. He and Michael were supposed to come this month, but with what happened, the schedule is all messed up. Now with the trial... they've kind of put everything on hold."

 

"Won't that mess with production?"

 

Diane nodded. "From what Lance says, they are filming what they can locally. They are supposed to come to Mississippi with Michael's parents. Stacy's planning a little reception because we have a lot of family members who won't be able to make it to the wedding in December."

 

"Oh that's lovely."

 

"She's hoping Rachel and JC can make it. She's having a difficult time planning because she has to wait on the date from Lance. He doesn't want to scrap doing the TV special but no one exactly planned for this."

 

"No," Karen said softly. "One doesn't plan for this." She looked down at her hands feeling the emotions rise.

Diane reached out and covered Karen's hands with one of her own. "I was ready to come after I heard the news. Lance told us to hold off. You took care of my baby."

 

Karen squeezed Diane's hand and wiped away a tear that escaped. "Of course. I love her like one of my own. I do consider her one of my own. She's been part of our family for a long time."

 

"Makes me so glad to hear that. To know she has you and Roy there for her as well."

 

The conversation turned to lighter topics then with the two couples catching up on life in general. It was a little over an hour later when Roy pulled to a stop outside of JC's house. After the men grabbed the suitcases from the trunk of the car, they walked across the street toward the door on the wall that edged JC's property along the road. Karen entered the code and Roy pushed the door open. He held it open allowing the women and Jim to walk through first before he entered, making sure to securely shut the door behind him.

 

"I always liked the city view," Diane commented as she glanced out over the hills. "I think this is your first time here, isn't it Dear?"

 

Jim nodded. He preferred to stay in Mississippi. The last time he remembered coming to California to visits his kids had been close to ten years ago; right around the time Lance had permanently moved to the state from Florida. At the time, Rachel was still splitting her time between Florida and California with JC. Since Rachel permanently taken up residence in California, he hadn't visited. Los Angeles was too fast paced for him. He liked the slowness of Mississippi. He liked knowing his neighbors by name and how their kids were doing.

 

"The kids always come home," Diane explained. Lance and Rachel always made it home at least twice a year, sometimes more. Rachel especially. While she would never say it out loud, she was certain JC is what held her daughter to California.

 

The group reached the front door of JC's house and Karen rang the doorbell. It was only a few moments later when the door swung open revealing JC. The smile on his face morphed into surprise when he saw the unexpected guests.

 

"Mr. and Mrs. Bass!" JC exclaimed seeing Rachel's parents on his front step.

 

"Oh stop that," Diane scolded. "You know it's Diane." She drew JC into her arms, giving him a tight hug as she tried to keep a handle on her emotions. She knew how close it came to him not making it.

 

"I didn't know you were coming."

 

"A little bit of a surprise," Karen grinned and hugged his oldest son. It would be awhile before she'd be able to stop hugging him often - if ever.

 

"I'm surprised," JC laughed and shook his dad's hand followed by Jim's. "I never thought I'd see you in California."

 

"Don't get used to it," Jim's stoic appearance was broken up by a teasing smile on his lips.

 

JC laughed. "Wouldn't dream of it." When he tried to help with their bags, he was quickly yelled at. "It's like having two sets of parents." He complained but stepped back and let his father and Jim bring the suitcases inside.

 

"That you can get used to," Karen winked as they entered the house.

 

"I just had a weird conversation with Stacy..." Rachel said as she came out of the kitchen. She was on the phone with her sister when the doorbell rang. She stopped short seeing her mom and dad standing in front of her. Her jaw slackened in shock and she felt her eyes fill with tears. "Mom!" She rushed forward into her mother's waiting arms. She held on tightly as she fought to keep her tears in check. She closed her eyes as she breathed in her mother's perfume. Chanel No 5 Eau de Parfum. It was the scent she would always pair with her mom. Just like Mimi and her Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds.

 

"Hey Baby," Diane said softly as she held her daughter.

 

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Rachel lifted her head.

 

"You would have said not to." Diane smiled and wiped the tears from her own cheeks.

 

"Daddy..." Rachel turned to her father and was swallowed in his arms. "I can't believe you're in California."

 

"Of course I am." When Diane told him she was going to California after speaking with Karen and explained why, he immediately told his wife to find two tickets. The one thing he hated in the world was to see any of his children sad. The whole time she had been in Mississippi he struggled with wanting to fix what was wrong. It had been hard for him to sit back and wait for her to come to them. Hard for him to see her tears. Rachel may be a twin but she was still his baby. Daddy's little girl.

 

"Did you know about this?" Rachel spun around and nailed JC with a look.

 

JC shook his head, chuckling. "No. I was just as surprised when I opened the door and saw them."

 

"Guess that's why you wouldn't let us come and get you from the airport." Rachel moved to hug JC's mom.

 

"A mama knows," Karen whispered, softly enough so only Rachel could hear before the hug broke.

 

"I only got one bedroom ready," Rachel said after she hugged Roy. "I didn't know..."

 

"It's fine Sweetie."

 

"I wasn't expecting anyone to be needing the room. It's a disaster area. Oh man, it's gonna take me the rest of the day to get it presentable. Jimmy Hoffa's somewhere in there. I know he is. If he's not, definitely Jimmy Buffett's lost shaker of salt..."

 

JC laughed as Rachel's voice faded as she rushed up the stairs, taking them two at time. He turned back toward their parents and gave them a shrug. "I'll never under estimate you again Mom. That will keep her busy and out of her head for awhile."

 

Karen grinned broadly. "Never underestimate your mother."

 

*~*

 

"My word," Diane said as she stared into the room that had once been her daughter's. "What on earth happened?"

 

Rachel felt a blush creep over her face. She couldn't imagine what the room must look like to others. The door was usually kept shut in her effort to ignore what was on the other side. Clothes piled on the bed. Shoes littered the floor. Half empty boxes were placed here and there. Hangers were scattered everywhere. Her dresser drawers hung open. Clothes haphazardly hung out.

 

"Well..." Rachel started as she looked around the room with her hands on her hips. "I decided it was a good time to go through my things as I was moving them to JC's room. It just steamrolled from there. A lot of things don't really fit into JC's room. I don't know what to do with everything." She surveyed the room again. "Maybe you and Daddy can stay in the bedroom downstairs." That room, along with JC's studio were the smallest in the house. The bed was only a full compared to the queen she had used.

 

"We can get this situated," Diane told her daughter. "Just tell me what goes where and we'll at least clear the bed off and make a path through the room."

 

"You didn't come all this way to clean my house. That's not fair." Rachel argued.

 

"Oh stop," Diane told her daughter as she started folding the clothes on the bed. As she folded, she noticed JC's clothes were mixed in as well. "You doing a little more spring cleaning than your own?" She glanced at her daughter out of the side of her eyes, a teasing smile on her lips.

 

"Hey, he put all these in here voluntarily." Rachel defended herself. A grin broke out on her face. "I just may have casually mentioned he should go through his clothes too..."

 

"You're learning." Diane laughed.

 

"You think I wasn't paying attention to all those times you mentioned something around Daddy and he either did it, got it, or planned it."

 

Diane sent her daughter a wink. "That took many years of training."

 

"I can't believe Daddy came to California." Rachel started picking up the shoes and putting them in an empty box. She had at least ten pairs she was getting rid of. JC had gotten rid of a couple as well. When the shoes were picked up, she moved the box along the wall, getting it out of the way. Then she started picking up all the hangers she had tossed after removing the clothes.

 

"I was surprised too."

 

"Figured Lance's wedding would be the only way to get him out here." Rachel picked up the stack of clothes her mother had folded and put them into the box with the shoes. She moved back toward the bed and started folding.

"Well he wouldn't pass up yours."

 

"For the longest time I didn't think I'd ever have a wedding." Rachel confessed.

 

"Why on earth not?" Diane paused in her folding to stare across the bed at her daughter.

 

"How could I marry someone else knowing how I felt about JC? Sure I dated guys but," she shrugged. "I wasn't fair to any of them. I like them but..."

 

"But you loved JC."

 

"Yeah. We were idiots."

 

Diane laughed. "No. Well... maybe just a little bit."

 

"We almost missed our chance." Rachel turned and sat down on the edge of the bed. She held a t-shirt of JC's she had started to fold in her hands. The graphic was faded from owning it for many years and a lot of washes. It should probably be tossed instead of donated. The fabric was soft as she moved it through her fingers.

 

Diane dropped the piece of clothing she had grabbed to fold and went around the bed. She took a seat on the bed next to her daughter. "But you didn't."

 

"But we came so close," Rachel whispered with tears in her voice. "How am I suppose to get up on the stand and speak about what happened? That he took a bullet for me when I didn't deserve it?"

 

"Oh Sweetie, no."

 

"It should have been me Addison shot. I didn't trust him. I ran and blocked him out of my life." The tears rolled down her cheeks falling onto the black t-shirt she held in her hands. "And that day...I still...I still brushed him off. I wouldn't listen. I just wanted to get my costume and leave. It hurt so much being here with him...and I..."

 

"Shhh..." Diane twisted her body to face her daughter and pulled her into her arms. Her heart broke listening to Rachel's broken words as she described the guilt she carried. "No matter what you did or didn't do, you didn't deserve to get shot." Pain shot through her as she thought about receiving that phone call from the police or Lance. The fear of not knowing if she'd make it to California in time. The pain and fear Karen and Roy must have gone through. "Neither did JC. Neither of you deserved what she and Matt put you through."

 

"I can't stop thinking about what would happen if he died. Where would I be? Who would I be? So much of me is wrapped up with him. And it scares me to think about him not being here."

 

"You can't let that dictate your life. Yes you went through a very scary experience but you survived. He survived. You've been given this... this second chance... you have to take it. You have to live it. What happened made you realize you couldn't keep hiding your feelings. Honey, that's wonderful. Now you get to experience this whirlwind, this rollercoaster of a ride." Diane tucked Rachel's hair behind her ear. "JC's always going to be here with you because he's in your heart."

 

"He is my heart."

 

Diane's own heart sang at her daughter's declaration. Tears welled in her eyes for an entirely different reason than a few moments ago. Happiness. She held Rachel's hand, squeezing it tightly. "Let go of the guilt you feel. What happened wasn't your fault. Be happy and thankful you and JC both survived and are here right now. I know I am. Learn from your actions and don't be so quick to assume the worst and run."

 

Rachel sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "He said he was chasing after me next time."

 

Diane laughed softly. "Good. Remember that he's probably feeling just as guilty as you."

 

"What does he have to feel guilty about?

 

"Not coming after you. He let you break off communication without truly fighting. While you're thinking what you could have done differently. He probably has a list of what he'd do differently as well."

 

"I never thought about that. I just... I couldn't get past taking off and running. Not giving him a chance to explain." She wondered what amount of guilt JC harbored for not getting on a plane to Mississippi. She wondered what she would have done if he showed up on her parents' door step.

 

"Don't idle on it too long. Just take and learn. Trust him."

"With my life."

 

*~*

 

"Hey man."

 

"What's going on?" Lance asked as he paused the show he had been watching on the TV. "Did your parents make it in okay?"

 

"Yeah they made it," JC chuckled, thinking of the surprise they brought. "I have a favor to ask."

 

"Sure. What's up?"

 

"Want to come over for dinner? We're eating kind of early since my parents missed lunch."

 

Lance glanced over the couch were Michael was painting, using the kitchen island as a storage for his supplies. The easel was set up right next to it. It also gave him a view of the TV. He loved the house's open floor plan. "Wanna go to my sister's for dinner?"

 

"Sure," Michael shrugged. He glanced at the clock. "What time?"

 

"We'll be there," Lance said into the phone. "What time and more importantly, what are we having?"

 

"Here's the real favor."

 

"I'm cooking? Are you still milking this?" Lance teased, though he would gladly cook for JC ever day if it meant he would be alive.

 

"No," JC laughed. He rubbed the back of his head. His mother had gone to see if Rachel and Diane needed help. His father and Jim were in the living room talking. He was left in the kitchen staring at the marinating steaks. All four of them.

 

"What's up C?"

 

"I need you to run to the store and pick up a couple things."

 

"You're gonna make me buy my own dinner?"

 

"No. Well... yeah. Sort of. We had everything planned and my parents showed up with your parents which is fine and all but I only have four steaks for six people and..."

 

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up. My parents are there?" Lance's eyes met Michael's who was just as surprised.

 

"Yes."

 

"Both of them? Even my dad?"

 

"Even your dad."

 

"Hole-lee shit."

 

"You're telling me. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door and saw him standing there."

 

"I can't believe he's in California." Lance mused, shaking his head. "Give us a minute to get ready and we'll head out. What do you need us to pick up?"

 

"You're a life saver man," JC breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't wait for everything to return to normal. Again. He couldn't wait for the circus that surrounded him to go away. The police department had to put a car on his road to chase away reporters were tried to camp out near his house in hopes of catching a glimpse of him or Rachel. The closer the court date had gotten the more the buzz grew. Neither one of them had been able to leave the house. Not even go to the grocery store. Melissa had made a run for them earlier in the week.

 

After the phone call ended, JC made his way into the living room. The women had yet to make an appearance.

 

"Do you need something JC?" Roy asked, seeing his son. "We can run and get it?"

 

JC sook his head. "Lance is going. He'll be here in an hour or so."

 

"Probably be how long it will take them to stop yakking and come downstairs."

 

JC chuckled. He had no doubt there was more talking going on in Rachel's old room than actually getting it ready. "Thought my ears were ringing."

 

"After awhile you don't even notice the ringing," Jim said with a smile.

 

"That's right," Roy grinned. "You know when a woman gets together with another woman, you are the topic of conversation. Nothing you can do about it Son."

 

"Nope." Jim said. "Just get used to it."

Steam filled the bathroom from the running water in the shower. The water hit the tiled floor uninterrupted. The stall empty. Rachel lay curled over the toilet. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her stomach somersaulted again. Breakfast had been reintroduced. What she had been able to eat of it. Nothing was coming up. But her stomach still twisted and clenched. Reaching up, Rachel hit the handle once again. Time was passing by too quickly. She knew it was getting closer and closer to the time they needed to leave to be at the courthouse when ADA Holden had told them. She hadn't even showered. She had gotten as far as turning the water on and undressing. Then her stomach revolted.

 

Sitting back, she wiped her mouth with the hand towel she was barely thought to grab before she had fallen to her knees.  She clutched the blue terry cloth in her hands and held it to her face. It muffled the sounds of her cries. Not that it mattered. JC would be knocking on the door soon to see what was taking her.

 

Sleep hadn't come the night before. She hadn't been able to turn her brain off. Every thought kept her awake. The fear of getting up on the stand. The thought of having to speak in front of dozens and dozens of people and tell them about the one day she wanted to forget. She wished she had that tool Will Smith used in Men In Black that erased people's memories. She could use that now to wipe May 3rd, 2014 from her memory.

 

JC always told her to wake him if she couldn't sleep. Usually she woke him by snuggling closer into him. The movements would rouse him enough to wrap his arms around her and pull her to him. Cocooned in his arms, his strength around her, feeling his heart beat, his chest rising and falling with each breath was enough to lull her to sleep. She couldn't bring herself to last night. He needed his sleep too. The case was bound to be just as draining on him. So she had laid there on her side facing him. Watching the rise and fall of his chest. Dozing intermittently. All too soon the alarm was going off.

 

Rachel wanted to run. She wanted to run out the door and keep running until she was far enough away the ghosts wouldn't get her. Far enough where she wouldn't see a bleeding JC laying on the ground. Far enough away where the guilt couldn't find her. Her mother said she needed to let it go. And she knew that. Knowing and doing where two completely separate tasks. She didn't want to feel the guilt she felt. She wanted to be able to be that carefree person she was in mid April before Matt sent her into a tailspin.

 

She wanted to hurt him. Matt. She wanted to slap him. She wanted to punch him. She wanted to pound on his chest. She wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her. He took her world and messed it all up.

 

‘I thought you'd hear it and tear in to him. I was counting on you confronting him.'

 

She didn't. She heard the words and ran. Ran all the way to Mississippi. Never once did she let JC tell his side of the story. She never even let him know what was wrong. She had been ready to throw everything away. If Lance hadn't been able to talk her in to coming back to LA for her party...

 

JC wouldn't have been shot.

 

The tears came out harder and she hunched over. Her head nearly to her knees. She continued sobbing into the towel. Arms reached for her. They slid around her shoulders and across her chest. Her head fell against a broad chest.

 

"Rachel..." JC said as he held her against him. His heart twisted in pain as he listened to her cries. He had come up to check on her and grew concerned hearing the shower still running. The soft knock on the closed bathroom door had gotten no response. His heart had fallen to his stomach when he saw her hunched over crying into a towel. "Come here," he whispered as he shifted to sit on the floor. With his back against the sink cabinet he lifted Rachel into his lap. He held her in his arms, letting her cry. His fingers tangled into her hair. "You're killing me. I don't know what to do." He spoke softly. "I love you. I love you so much."

 

Rachel slowly dropped the towel and turned into JC as the tears continued to come. She couldn't stop them. She clung to him as she cried harder.

 

"It's okay," JC murmured. "This will all be over soon. Then we can continue on with our lives. With our relationship. Being with you had made me the happiest I've ever been. Nothing compares. Nothing." He continued speaking softly; talking about anything that came to mind. How much he loved her. What he loved about her. How he was scared she would realize he wasn't as great as she thought he was and find someone else. He told her how strong she was. How much he needed her. He told her everything, speaking until her cries quieted into sniffles. "I love you," he repeated. "When this is over, we're getting away for a long weekend. It's already planned. Just you and me and a fully stocked cabin. We'll turn off the phones. Start putting this behind us. Start concentrating on us and our future."

 

Rachel held on to him, her arms around his neck. Her tears had finally stopped. Her breaths were shaky as she struggled to pull herself back together.

 

"I promise you," JC said, his voice still soft and soothing. "We will get through this. I will be right here by your side. Always."

 

"I'm sorry," Rachel whispered unable to meet his eyes.

 

"Hey... no...." JC shook her head. "You have nothing to apologize for."

 

Using the hand towel, she wiped her face. She looked down at herself; naked in JC's lap. "Look at me. I'm a mess."

 

"That's not what I think when I look at you."

 

Rachel's face heated and she lifted her head. JC cupped the side of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. Tilting her chin she met his kiss. "Think they'll let me sit like this on the witness stand?"

 

"Naked or in my lap?"

 

Rachel's tried to fight the smile from forming on her lips. A small giggle broke free. JC grinned, proud of himself for putting a smile back on her face. "I think naked might be frowned upon by the judicial system."

 

"Their loss." JC shrugged, the smiled wide on his face.

 

"I love you." Rachel leaned forward and kissed him again.

 

"I love you." JC kissed her once more before they booth stood. His phone rang from inside his pocket. "Go shower," he told her. As he walked from the bathroom he pulled the phone from his pocket. His breath caught seeing Los Angeles District Court. He took a deep breath before hitting the button. "Hello?"

 

"JC? This is Edward Holden."

 

"Yes Sir," JC looked at the watch on his wrist. They weren't late, even with Rachel's minor episode. He knew she wouldn't take long to get ready. They would still make it to the courthouse at the specified time. "We were just getting ready to leave."

 

"That's what I'm calling about."

 

"Don't tell me the court date had been pushed back..." This couldn't be happening. He needed the case to go to court now. He needed it to be over with. For his mental health. For Rachel's. Neither one of them could take a continuance.

 

"No no," ADA Holden said quickly. "I'm calling because I got a call from Richard Bauer, Ms. Wright's attorney. He requested to meet with me this morning. I'm calling to inform you that Ms. Wright is willing to accept a plea deal. I'm inclined to accept their offer."

 

"What?" JC's lips parted in shock. "A plea?"

 

"That's right. Ms. Wright will plead guilty to assault with a firearm. It's a felony and carries up to four years in prison. Which she will serve."

 

"Assault with a firearm?" JC repeated. "I thought she was charged with attempted murder?" Assault with a firearm almost seemed like an insult to what happened to him.

 

"Yes, but juries are unpredictable. In order to be convicted of attempted murder, the State of California requires us to prove that Ms. Wright had a specific intent to kill. The defense could argue she only produced the gun as a scare tactic or to maim."

 

"But she did intend to kill," JC argued. "Rachel told you what she said before she fired the gun." Those were the words JC didn't remember. The ones Addison spoke right before she fired the gun. He couldn't recall the words of even moved to protect Rachel. "Does it matter that she intended to kill Rachel and I got shot instead?"

 

"No," ADA Holden said. "There doesn't even need to be a victim at all in these cases. There needs to be a direct step and that a person was intended to be killed. We don't need a specific target. She could still have been charged with attempted murder even if the shots fired didn't hit you or Ms. Bass."

 

"This seems like a slap in the face." JC took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I almost died. Rachel probably would have died. And she only gets four years?"

 

"Second degree attempted murder carries a five, seven, or nine year sentence. The jury could very well come back with a five year sentence. Think about it JC. We don't know what the defense is going to come up with. They could paint her as a woman who just temporarily snapped. They could gain sympathy from a jury member. Now," ADA Holden continued. "We could go in there get a slam dunk and she get the maximum nine year sentence. But we could also go in there and the case could be drug out. Rachel will be called to the stand as a witness. She will be cross-examined by the defense. I can object to the questions, but I can't guarantee the judge will sustain them. She'll have to answer. After everything, Ms. Wright can be found not guilty and walk free."

 

JC put his elbow on his leg and rested his forehead in his hand. He didn't like the Assistant District Attorney using Rachel against him. That's what he was doing. Using Rachel to get what he wanted. He knew JC would do what he could to protect her. JC didn't want Rachel to have to get on the witness stand and describe - in detail - the events from that day, especially after what he had seen in the bathroom. The ADA was right. There was a chance Addison could walk. He wasn't sure how it could happen, but he knew it could.

 

"She gets four years?"

 

"She will plead guilty to assault with a firearm and take the maximum sentence of four years which will be served at the California State Women's Prison located outside of San Jose. She will also agree to have no contact with you or Ms. Bass. If she breaks that agreement, the plea becomes null and void and she will go back to court and be charged with attempted murder."

 

"Will there still be a court appearance?"

 

"Yes. We will go into the court room in front of the judge. There is a slim chance he'll throw the plea agreement out. Ms. Wright will plead guilty. They judge will sentence her according to the agreement. Then it's over."

 

Over. That sounded great to JC.

 

"Are you okay with this?"

 

Was he okay with it? Addison would only get four years for almost killing him. She wouldn't be charged with attempted murder but assault instead. It seemed like a loss to him. On the other hand, there would be no trial. Rachel wouldn't have to get on the stand. In under an hour it would all be behind him. Ultimately that's what he wanted. "Yes. I'm okay with it."

 

"Great!" ADA Holden grinned. "I will get this taken care of. The trial will still start at nine. I still need you and Ms. Bass here like we planned in case the deal gets tossed."

 

"We'll be there." JC said his goodbyes and pressed the palm of his hands in his eyes. He blew out a breath.

 

"Who was on the phone?" Rachel asked coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body and another twisted on the top of her head.

 

JC looked up watching as Rachel let the towel fall from her body when she reached her dresser. His eyes raked over her body. If it had been any other morning, he would have pushed up from the bed and gone to her. He would have wrapped his arms around her from behind. Pressed his body into hers. Pressed kisses along her shoulder.

 

"JC?" Rachel turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. She grinned seeing his face. She tossed her towel at him. "Hey."

 

JC grabbed the towel as it fell to his lap and shook his head. He felt his cheeks heat. "You distracted me."

 

Rachel smiled and quickly pulled on underwear and a bra. She pulled the towel from her hair and laid it over the open dresser drawer as she pulled out a white high neck spaghetti strap undershirt. When the shirt was on, she went into the closet and pulled the black suit pants off the hanger and slipped them up her legs and over her hips. After making sure the shirt was tucked in, she zipped the pants and latched the clips on the inside.

 

"Who was on the phone?" Rachel asked again when she walked back into the bedroom and took a seat at her vanity table.

 

"ADA Holden," JC answered as he watched her start applying her make up. He saw her hands freeze and her eyes met his in the mirror.

 

"What's going on?" Rachel asked slowly.

 

"Addison and her lawyer contacted him this morning wanting to make a plea deal." JC explained the phone conversation.

 

Rachel sat quietly staring at her reflection as she thought over JC's words. It could all be over today. There was a chance there would be no trial. No having to get up on the stand. Her eyes flickered to meet his when he stood up to walk toward her. When he placed his hands on her shoulders, she lifted one hand to clasp his.

 

"Are you okay with this?"

Was she? She didn't know. Four years seemed like a slap on the wrist for what Addison did. For what she put them through. Nine years didn't seem like a severe punishment either.

 

"Rachel?"

 

Rachel blinked and brought her gaze back to JC. "Four years doesn't seem long enough."

 

"I know. That's what I thought too. But there won't be a trial to go through. We'll go to the courthouse today and it will all be over in a matter of minutes."

 

Rachel shifted on the bench until she faced JC. He was dressed in all black. Black trousers paired with a tucked in long sleeve black button up shirt. The collar was buttoned and he had on a black tie. On his feet were black dress shoes. A black suit jacket, she knew, would finalize the outfit. He was freshly shaven. She could smell the cologne he applied when he was getting ready. It was intoxicating. It made her feel safe. "Are you okay with this?"

 

JC nodded. "I wasn't when he was explaining it to me, but I am now."

 

"Okay," Rachel sent him a small smile. She blew out a small breath and grabbed his hand. She meet his eyes when he squeezed her hand. "It will be all over today."

 

"Yes." JC dropped her hand and cupped her face with his hands. He bent at the waist and kissed her softly. "We can finally move forward."

EPILOGUE

*10 months later*

 

"JC?" Rachel called as she went downstairs. The fringe on her costume tickled her bare thighs. The roarin' twenties costume she had purchased for her birthday last year was finally being put to use. A year later, but it was still being used. Fringe came down the front of the drop waist dress on either shoulder to create a v when each side met at her belly button. Between the fringe V was a black lace design. Black lace also went down the champagne over lay on her sides down to her hips where it met the black fringe around her waist. On her arms were black gloves that went just past her elbows. Her right wrist had a bracelet with a double row of baroque pearls. Her left wrist held a silver cuff bracelet. A silver necklace hung around her neck and dropped below her breasts. Her legs were covered with black thigh high hose. Black stiletto heels were on her feet. Her hair was curled. A black head band was around her forehead and a feather stood up from the back. Red lipstick and a smoky eye completed the look.

 

"JC?" They needed to leave or they would be late.  She heard the piano music. The sound muffled with the door to JC's studio closed. Her steps slowed as she listened to the melody. The tune was foreign to her. It wasn't that unusual. JC had been working more and more with music since his accident. She figured he'd been bitten by a bug. A lot of people paraded through their house and he was constantly going to a studio with an artist.

 

Slowly pushing the door open, she stood in the doorway. JC was seated at the piano, his hands moving confidently and masterfully over the keys. He wore a black pinstripe suit pants with a white button up long sleeve shirt. Black suspenders clasped the front of his suit pants and ran up over his shoulders. A black tie was around his neck. On his feet were black and white dress shoes. The matching pinstripe suit jacket was laying over the arm of the couch. A black fedora sat on top.

 

When he had been getting dressed, she told him she was thankful for his outfit. He had pockets to hold her things. Rachel knew before the night was over, his pants pocket would have her phone, the tube of lip stick she was bringing in case she needed to reapply, as well as her ID. Probably her gloves as well. Definitely the cigarette holder. She had no doubt she'd get tired of carrying that around after twenty minutes.

 

Leaning against the door, Rachel listened to the tune JC was playing. It was beautiful in an almost haunting way. She wondered if there were words to the piece yet. Sometimes JC wrote lyrics first then put the music down. Other times he had the music and had to come up with the words. Sometimes it all happened at once. It depended on the creative juices he had flowing.

 

The piece came to an end and JC let the music fade. Rachel entered the room, a smile on her face. "That sounded great!"

 

JC looked over his shoulder and did a double take. "Wow!" He exclaimed seeing her in her costume. He had left the bedroom while Rachel had still been getting ready, knowing it was going to take her awhile. To kill the time, he went into his studio. "You look amazing!" He swung around on the bench, the music forgotten as he held out his hand. When Rachel took it, he pulled her between his legs. "I think we're gonna have this theme next year."

Rachel laughed as she fingered the suspender straps on his shoulders. "Lance gets to pick the theme next year."

 

"Pity."

 

"I could always wear it again for a more... private party... if you know what I mean."

"I like the sound of that," JC grinned up at her. He ran his fingers up and down her legs. Up and down the hose, high enough to hit bare skin beneath the fringe. His grin broadened when she shivered. "We could get the party started early."

 

Rachel shifted closer to him. Her arms rested on his shoulders and crossed behind him. Her bracelets clanked together. His hands moved to her waist. Only the champagne overlay separated him from touching bare skin. Beneath his touch, her skin warmed. Leaning down she dropped a kiss on his lips.

 

"You call that a kiss?" JC teased as his eyes opened. Her lips barely touched his and were gone before he even knew they were there. Her eyes sparkled. Those teasing lips parted into a smile. He reached up with one arm and cupped the back of her neck. She offered no resistance as she bent at the waist and kissed him.

 

"Better?" Rachel asked when the kiss ended. Her breathing was a little heavy and her cheeks were a little rosier that had nothing to do with makeup.

 

"Much," JC grinned. He ran his hands over her hips, his fingers playing with the fringe. "What are you wearing under this?"

 

Rachel cocked an eyebrow. "That is no question to ask a lady."

 

JC chuckled and stood. There were no lingering effects from the shooting. The twinges of pain he felt in the few months after had disappeared. He was finally back to normal. It had been almost a full year since the shooting. Tomorrow would mark the anniversary. It was one anniversary he preferred not to celebrate.

 

The year had been kind of crazy. Unbeknown to him and the rest of the members of the group, Sony had dropped a greatest hits album a couple months after he'd been shot and a couple weeks before his birthday. It had thirty four songs full of their singles, and album tracks, and some that had never made the cut for an album. The album went top ten. Twelve years after releasing any new music and it went top ten. It was crazy to think about. Humbling.

 

During that summer, Smokey Robinson's new album, Smokey and Friends, had been released and became a top fifteen album. Prior to the shooting, he had recorded the song My Girl with Smokey, Aloe Blacc, and Miguel. In October of that year, he had graced morning television again performing the song live with Smokey and Aloe. It had been a lot of fun doing a small press tour for the album he had been a part of.

 

Then it was the two week trip to Europe for him and Rachel. Those two weeks had been everything he had expected them to be and more. The itinerary had been jammed packed when he planned the trip, but once they had gotten to some of the locations, they hadn't been able to move on as quickly. Instead they chose to stay in some locations longer to take in the sights. A grin crossed his lips as he remembered one of the reasons had been their inability to leave a quaint little cottage in Sweden. The view had been breathtaking, but they spent more time making love on the floor in front of the fire place. At times the trip felt like a honeymoon.

 

Another smile formed as he thought about the birthday present he had gotten Rachel this year. After experiencing the Scandinavian trip, he thought it would be hard to top such a present. It hadn't. What had been hard was waiting. The ring had been hidden since Christmas. More often than not he wondered why he was waiting until her birthday to ask. He had wanted to ask the moment he'd gotten the ring. But he held off though. In his mind he knew waiting for her birthday was the right thing to do. It had been hard. When it was safe he'd look at the ring every day. Pull it out of his hiding place and open the velvet box to stare at the diamond ring, imagining it on Rachel's finger.

 

Too many bad memories surrounded Rachel's birthday. It hadn't been his fault, but it was his fault. She spent her birthday last year sitting in his hospital room not knowing if he was going to live or die.  He didn't want her to associate her birthday with that darkness anymore. Proposing would bring back the happiness that surrounded the day. Planning today hadn't been easy on his part. There had been a lot of lying and skirting the truth. One thing he knew, his parents had to be there as well as Rachel's. Jim had balked at the thought of going to California again having been in the state for Lance's wedding in December. Until JC explained.

 

‘I'm not sure why you need me to be there for this party JC.'

 

Jim's voice was gruff and JC rubbed a hand over his face. He looked around the parking lot he sat in. He'd been at the studio and heading home when he decided to make the phone calls. There had been no way he could have the conversations at home with Rachel around.

 

‘I'm not one for dressing up. This party sounds like something you young kids would have a better time at.'

 

JC knew it would take some convincing to get Jim to California again. But he needed Rachel's father to be there. Needed her father there: her parents, Stacy, Ford, her niece and nephews. While the party was geared more toward Rachel's and Lance's friends, he wanted her family there when he proposed. ‘You don't have to dress up. Neither does Diane.'

 

‘Why do you want me there so bad?'

 

JC paused for a second. ‘I plan on asking Rachel to marry me.'

 

The phone call had gone much easier from there. Jim had agreed immediately. When JC asked for his blessing, Jim never hesitated. ‘It's about time, Son.' To get his family there, including his brother and sister as well as Stacy, he weaved a tale about trying to make up for the soiled party for last year and how Rachel felt her birthday was tainted. How he wanted to have all their friends and family there to help celebrate and make up for last year. It had been easier than expected. Everyone jumped at the chance. He hadn't been sure with Stacy because of her children's school schedule, but she had waved off his concerns. Rachel had no idea anyone was in town. He and Lance had put them up in a hotel.

 

"What are you smiling about?"

 

JC turned his attention back to Rachel. "A bunch of different things." He aborted the move he made to pick up his jacket and fedora. Instead he took her hand and led her to sit down on the couch next to him.

 

"Everything okay?"

 

"Everything is great," JC smiled at her and kissed her. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."

 

"Anything."

 

"I've been thinking a lot lately...more than likely over thinking..."

 

"About what?"

 

"Returning to music."

 

Rachel's eyes widened and she stared at JC. She searched his face, looking for something she couldn't define. She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. He had stunned her.

 

"After everything that happened, I realized how much I really wanted to get back into the studio. I've been shoving it aside for awhile now, telling myself I didn't really want to and I would have enough time. But I almost lost that chance..."

 

"Wow JC." Rachel couldn't believe it. "Just so we're on the same page. You mean get back in the studio for you to record and not work with others?"

 

JC nodded. "I still want to write and produce for other artists. I don't want to stop that. I like doing that. But I want to do it for myself as well. I miss it. Guess I really didn't know how much until working with Smokey and John Popper."

 

"This is... so awesome!" Rachel squealed in excitement. "You're serious?"

 

JC grinned and nodded his head. "I'm serious."

"Oh JC, this is great!" She hugged him tightly around the neck. "Was the song you were just playing one of the new ones?"

 

"Yeah. It's one I've been working on with Matt."

 

It had taken a long time for them to open their door back up to Matt. It wasn't until February when they had bumped in to him at Elton John AIDS Foundation's Oscar Viewing Party. It had been awkward at first and they hadn't spoke more than ten minutes. It had taken both JC and Rachel a couple of days after the party to have a conversation about Matt. Rachel had been the first to forgive him. She was guilty of not doing what was right - running instead of confronting JC. Matt had been guilty of not coming to them in the first place, but he had been desperate to save his marriage. In the end it hadn't worked anyway. Renee had filed for divorce. JC and Matt had bonded together through music. Their friendship wasn't back to where it was before, she wasn't sure if it would ever be, but they were forging a new one.

 

"Seriously. This is great." Rachel hugged him again and kissed his lips. "I'm so happy for you."

"Really?" JC pulled back to look at her

 

"Of course! How can you not believe that?" She looked at him. "You know I will support you in anything you want to do. I have supported you in everything. Come on," she cupped his cheeks with both hands. "I am in your corner 100%"

 

"Kind of scared," he said honestly. He rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "Not sure how it will be accepted. If it will be just like before..."

 

"Oh JC, you're gonna be blown away by the support you receive. You know how often I have to field questions about you releasing new music? Trust me. You will be accepted."

 

JC smiled and hugged her. "It might get a little crazy around here."

 

"Good. It's been pretty dull around here the last couple of months."

 

*~*

"Feels like practice for your wedding," Jim said as he twirled his daughter on the dance floor. His words or his movements caused her to laugh.

 

"I don't think so," Rachel told her father as they moved around the dance floor. She hadn't danced with her father since Lance's wedding. Before that, Stacy's. Growing up she had danced with Jim plenty of times at family weddings, church functions, and father daughter dances. As a little girl she had loved getting dressed up in a dress that would be good for twirling. It had to twirl around her legs just right. Her mother had curled her golden blonde hair into ringlets. She felt like the belle of the ball walking into a dance on her daddy's arm. "JC's not the marrying type." She should know. She has been with him through many girlfriends who tried to get a ring.

 

"What are you talking about girl?" Jim nearly paused on the dance floor when he heard his daughter's words. "Are you having troubles? Did he do something?"

 

"What? No!" Rachel's smile was wide and bright. "JC and I are good, Daddy. Great! I just... I've been here when someone else wanted to marry him. He wasn't too thrilled with the marriage prospect."

 

Jim stared at his daughter. "Did you ever think it was because it wasn't who he wanted to marry?

 

Rachel shrugged and broke their gaze. Looking around the room he eyes sought JC but she couldn't find him in the throng of people. She couldn't believe the amount of people who had showed up. To say she had been surprised to see her parents wouldn't have been enough. She had been downright shocked to see not only them, but Stacy, Ford, Leighton, Keagan, Kellen. Then she saw JC's parents and Tyler and Sarah and Heather and Drew and she cried. "I don't know. I just know that I'm ok with his decision. I love him and I know he loves me."

 

‘Oh Baby Girl,' Jim thought. He couldn't wait to see her reaction. He had tucked a handkerchief in the breast pocket of his suit jacket for that very moment. His wife was going to need it. If he were honest with himself, he would need it too.

 

After the song ended she kissed Jim's cheek and gave him a hug. "Love you Daddy."

 

"Love you too." Jim's voice was gruff. "Happy birthday Baby."

 

"Work it girl!" Melissa shouted as Rachel made her way toward her. She twirled the black feather boa she had wrapped around her back and resting in her elbows on each arm.

 

Rachel did her best runway walk causing Melissa to catcall. She wished she had her cigarette holder to complete the look but as she predicted it ended up in the pocket of JC's pants. It was a pain to carry around.

 

"Hold up, back it up," Joey came up to them. He wore a white suit with a grey button up suit and yellowish-gold tie a la Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby. His fedora had long since disappeared as had most men's. "I wasn't ready. Do it again...wait... hold up... Where's the cigarette holder? You're killing me."

 

"In JC's pocket."

 

"That's probably not all that's in JC's pocket." Joey grinned.

 

"I saw her reaching in his pocket earlier," Melissa laughed.

 

"Playing a little pocket pool, eh?" Joey wiggled his eyebrows at Rachel.

 

Rachel felt her cheeks heat which caused Joey and Melissa to laugh even more. On more than one occasion she was sorry for requesting a piece of strawberry pie that resulted in Lance dragging Joey to the bakery. Melissa and Joey hit it off in such a manner that resulted in them needed supervision or warning signs, usually both.

 

"What are you gonna do when she moves to Florida? I'm almost sad to see this Frick and Frack show break up."

 

"You haven't heard the news?" Melissa asked, the smile on her face big and wide. Her eyes sparkled with happiness.

 

"Uh... What news?"

 

"Chris is moving here!" The excitement made Melissa bounce on her feet.

 

"What? No!" Rachel gasped.

 

"If you hadn't been too busy sticking your hand in JC's pants..."

 

"Who's sticking their hand in JC's pants?" Chris walked up to them. He still wore his hat. He had a cigar he used as a prop but Rachel didn't see it and assumed it was either sitting down on a table somewhere or in a pocket on his black suit.

 

"Rachel is."

 

"Well she is the lady of the night." Chris caressed his fingers over Melissa's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. "She can stick her hand in anyone's pocket."

 

"Lance too." Joey grinned.

 

"I don't know why such riff raff was invited."

 

"Because you love us," Melissa grinned. She leaned into Chris and looked up at him meeting his gaze. Her heart stumbled when he winked at her. When she had first met Joey and Chris, she fell for them both. Or so she had thought. At the beginning there had been no strings. She enjoyed the company of each man. Then she had taken the chance and kissed Joey. While it had been enjoyable, there had been nothing there. No spark. No fire. Their friendship flourished after that. They had become the best of friends. Rachel said they had their own brand of crazy. She was probably right.

 

Then she kissed Chris and damn near burnt her apartment building down with the fire that ignited between them. Chris spent a lot of time in California with her. With her bakery, it was hard for her to leave. Long distance started to wear on her and she made the decision to close and move to Florida. It has been an agonizing decision, but she loved Chris. She could make the residents of the greater Orlando area break their New Year's resolutions just as easily as she made Hollywood. Then Chris arrived earlier in the week for the party and told her to clear a dresser drawer because he was moving in. She had dumped an entire drawer on the floor right then.

 

"Not sure why," Rachel grumbled good-naturedly. "This is great news! So glad you're staying!" She hugged both Melissa and Chris at the same time.

 

"Give it a month or two and you'll be wishing otherwise," Joey laughed, happy for his friends.

 

"I put up with your antics," Rachel threaded her arm through Joey's, her hands grasping his bicep. "What's one more? This means you'll get to try to set up Joey now with your customers."

 

"Yeah!" Melissa grinned.

 

"Oh no," Joey shook his head. "No."

 

"I already got one in mind."

 

Rachel laughed at the look on Joey's face. "Poor Joey."

 

"Joey is a lot of things but poor isn't one of them," JC said as he walked up to the group. He placed a hand on Rachel's back and grinned when she slipped her arm from Joey's and threaded his arm instead. "What's with the poor Joey?"

 

"Mel's gonna set him up with a customer at the bakery."

 

"Oh," JC chuckled. "Poor Joey." The music changed and he asked Rachel to dance before pulling her away from their friends and back into the dance floor.

 

"Where'd you disappear to?" Rachel asked as she settled into his arms.

 

"No where," JC answered, his hands on her hips keeping her close to him.

 

"Is that a cigarette holder in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" Rachel said coyly as her hips brushed up against his.

 

JC laughed and wrapped his arms around her back pulling her more fully against him. "You know damn well that cigarette holder has nothing on me."

 

Rachel smiled into their kiss. "This has been a great party. You and Lisa outdid yourselves this year. My parents are here. I don't even know how you managed to get my dad back to California."

 

"It wasn't too hard," JC grinned. He'd been feeling the looks from Rachel's father all night. It was nerve-racking. Jim was the only person who knew he was going to propose. More than once throughout the evening he thought about pulling Rachel into a secluded spot and popping the question instead of in front of everyone.

 

"I did happen to notice something," Rachel said as they moved slowly together. She blocked out everything around her except for JC and the feeling of being in his arms.

 

"What's that?" JC asked, his breath catching. ‘Did she know what he was going to do? Could she feel the ring in his pocket?' He had taken it out of the velvet box and slipped the loose ring into his pocket. He checked multiple times throughout the night making sure it was still there.

 

"You have yet to give me a birthday present."

 

JC laughed. "Your birthday isn't until Monday."

 

"You're gonna make me wait until Monday?" Rachel said with a huff. When the grin on his face widened, she narrowed her eyes. "You don't have my gift do you?"

 

"What?" JC laughed. "Of course I do. I'm not the one who is late giving gifts."

 

"That's just with Lance." And she was late once again with his gift. The music changed again, playing another slow song. Rachel thought it was weird to have back to back slow songs but it meant she could stay in JC's arms so she wasn't complaining. She snuggled closer. Her head rested against his. She had an arm around his shoulders. Her other arm was bent between them; her hand clasped with his resting on his chest. He had a hand on the small of her back holding her to him. Not that she would think about moving away.

 

The song playing was foreign to her. She didn't recognize the piano melody. JC had been the one to nail down a DJ for the party. He knew the songs to tell the DJ to put into rotation for her. He also knew more obscure songs. His taste in music went far and wide. It wasn't odd for her not to recognize a song. Anything she listened to outside of the songs on the charts had been introduced to her by JC. She froze when a voice came in over the piano. She'd recognize it anywhere.

 

JC.

 

The DJ was playing a song by JC. One that she'd never heard before. ‘I realized how much I really wanted to get back into the studio.'

 

"Just listen," JC whispered in her ear as he continued swaying.

 

By the time Rachel was truly able to listen, she missed the first verse.

 

Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I'll give my all to you

You're my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I'm winning

‘Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you

 

Tears filled her eyes as she listened to the words of the chorus. Her finger tips curled and pressed into his back. She blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears at bay. Then JC started singing the words softly in her ear.

 

The song faded away. JC shifted and Rachel stared as he got down on one knee right in the middle of the dance floor. The battle was lost. Tears fell from her eyes. She covered her mouth with a hand. Her eyes closed as her head fell forward.

 

"Will you marry me?" JC asked, his own eyes wet with tears. Anticipation filled him. He could feel it over the guests. Heard the gasps as he knelt.

 

"Yes," Rachel nodded, crying. "Yes!" She pulled him up and into her arms where she kissed him soundly. She hugged him tightly as she cried.

 

Holding her with one arm, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. He drew back slightly and slid the ring on Rachel's finger with her watching. When Rachel looked up he cupped her face and kissed her. "I love you."

 

Rachel's laughter was filled with tears. "I love you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him back into a hug. "How am I supposed to top this gift for your birthday?"

 

JC laughed and tightened his hold. He wasn't sure how she could top this, but he knew somehow, someway she would.

 

And she did. By telling him on his birthday they were expecting a baby.