The burning liquid slid down JC’s throat as he drained the remaining amount of rum from its bottle. A few years ago, he wouldn’t be seen drinking excessive amounts of any type of alcohol. Things change, JC thought as he wiped the liquid from his lips with the back of his hand. Shots were no longer an option for him since he felt that they failed to get him through the day.

 

Clutching the empty bottle, JC sauntered through the bare hallways of his home. Aside from *NSYNC memorabilia and the typical furniture and clothing one would find in the mansion of an ex boyband member, JC owned nothing else. He found it hard to find similar levels of the chart topping success that *NSYNC enjoyed with his other musical ventures.

 

His short walk ended in front of the mirror near his kitchen where he took a moment to examine his appearance. He’s come a long way from the JC Chasez that the world had learned to know and love. JC thought of himself as unrecognizable; a man once viewed as classy and clean was now a man one would mistaken for someone who was homeless.

 

JC laughed to himself as he turned the corner to grab another bottle of alcohol from the kitchen. Setting the empty rum bottle on the counter, the void in his hand was now replaced with a bottle of whiskey. JC paused before taking a sip, trying to recall how many alcoholic beverages he’s consumed throughout the day. His head was throbbing but it didn’t matter to him. He had come to think that the only way to cure a hangover was to drink more alcohol. Unable to remember, he shrugged as he proceeded to down the liquid.

 

A buzzing from JC’s pocket startled him, causing him to nearly drop the bottle. “Damn,” he groaned as he rummaged his pockets for his phone. The buzzing was uncontrollable. Normally, JC would have ignored the call but the name that was flashing on the screen held his attention.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey Josh, how’s it been?” Justin’s voice blared through the phone.

 

JC took a moment before answering. How HAS it been? “It’s been good for me but I’m sure it’s been fantastic for you.” Whether or not Justin noticed the sourness in the response he received, JC was unsure.

 

“Oh, I’m alright. Listen, I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m receiving the Video Vanguard Award in a few weeks. I know this is extremely short notice but I’m set to perform before receiving it. I’ll be doing a fifteen-minute performance showcasing all the highlights of my musical career. So naturally… I can’t forget about the one thing that catapulted me into the mouth of fame in the first place.” Justin explained.

 

A certain heaviness weighed down on JC. He hasn’t heard from Justin in so long and now here he was, probably about to ask him to do him a favor so he could receive his award. As excited and proud JC was for Justin, it was difficult for him to genuinely be happy for him. Not after all the downfalls he experienced due to Justin’s sudden decision to go solo. “Oh, and that would be…?”

 

“I’ll never forget about my time with you and the guys. I would be nothing if it hadn’t been for my time with you. You’re my brothers so I would love if you could join me on stage to perform some of our hit songs. I already asked the others and they’re all really excited about it. We can’t do it without you, of course.”

 

At least you know you’d be nothing without our help, was something JC wanted to say. But he couldn’t deny how flattered he felt for being remembered. If the others were fine with it, then who was he to say no? “Sure, I’ll do it. It would be fun.” JC’s tone had been sincere this time which Justin definitely noticed.

 

With the same level of titillation Justin expressed at the beginning of the conversation, he replied “Awesome! The guys should be at your place within the next week to pick you up. I’ll discuss everything with all of you at the studio. Thanks so much for doing this, JC. It’s a really huge deal for me to be performing with you guys again. I’ll see you later.”

 

“See you.” JC clicked the phone off and dropped it back into his pocket.

 

JC took the time to register what had just happened. It was as if the musical gods finally took notice of his suffering. He desperately needed a way back into the industry and this was it. A little stage time could do a lot for someone who was no stranger to it.

“Isn’t this great?” Justin laughed as he plopped onto one of the couches. “Sharing fame and fortune with my best friends, what more could I ask for?”

 

“There’s definitely nothing better than this.” Chris responded, falling onto the couch in almost the same fashion as Justin.

 

JC took in the sight of the two men smugly leaning back in their seats. Joey and Lance were in the kitchen cooking dinner for tonight. It was Joey’s turn to cook for the guys and he swore a million times that he’s prepared this particular dish enough for him to not screw it up but Lance lingered to make sure that nothing went wrong.

 

“Dude, you don’t have to watch me. I won’t poison the food.” Joey tried shooing Lance away.

 

“Just pretend I’m not here.” Lance leaned against the wall and watched Joey without batting an eye. Joey was preparing Italian Halibut Chowder, a soup that he claimed that he’s mastered way before he joined the band. The last time it was Joey’s turn to cook, Lance got food poisoning. As soon as he found out that Joey was going to be cooking with fish, he did everything he could to make sure that Joey prepared it well enough.

 

JC joined them in the kitchen after he grew tired of watching Justin and Chris fuss over the remote. “Let’s give him another chance, Lance.” He suggested while patting Lance’s shoulder.

 

Joey blew a raspberry at Lance. “Thanks, JC. At least SOMEONE believes in me.”

 

Lance’s face curled in disgust. “Dude, your spit missiles just landed in the food!”

 

JC laughed as he watched Lance try to snatch the ladle from Joey. “Lemme have it! Give it to me, Joey!” Lance tried as hard as he could but he was no match for the bigger man. In his defeat, Lance slouched out of the kitchen to join Justin and Chris who had finally settled on a channel to watch.

 

“Let me help you with that, Joe.” JC held out his hand but Joey just looked at him with disappointment.

 

“Oh man, not you too.” Joey rolled his eyes.

 

JC couldn’t help but remember that night. Mostly because that was probably one of the nights that he was the most content with his life. The biggest thing he and the boys would worry about was thoroughly checking their food before eating it whenever it was Joey’s turn to cook. He never had to worry about the next day because he knew that he would wake up a member of one of the greatest boy bands of their generation (and probably more generations to come) and continue on with the rest of the day.

 

He kicked himself for not being prepared for the worst. He was always great at cherishing things in the moment but never thought of his future. He loved his friends, he loved his life; he never found the need to think negatively about how one day, all that bliss would no longer be reality for him.

 

JC took a long sip from his beer as his mind lingered to other memories.

 

“This hiatus is for us to try new things in between now and when our next album comes out. That’s what we agreed on, Josh.”

 

JC pursed his lips at Lance’s remark. Yes, that was what they agreed on. But Justin was acting like he was never going to come back to them and that really messed with JC’s mind. “He makes it seem like he doesn’t need us. What of *NSYNC? What about us?”

 

This time Joey stepped in, “Well, we had our run and it was glorious. I’m sure our fans will always be there to support us if we ever came back on the scene. Plus, I’m set on marrying Kelly. We already have Briahna and once we marry, I want to be the best husband and father figure I can be for them.”

 

JC turned to face Joey in disbelief. “You’re okay with this?”

 

“We all are,” Chris spoke up. “Justin’s really talented and who are we to stop him from achieving something that could change his life for the better? It’s not like he forgot about us.”

 

“He constantly bashes on his boy band history. What’s that say to you?”

 

“So you’re saying there’s not one itty-bitty part of you that’s a little blah about us being in a boy band? We always made fun of our boy band title, why is it bothering you now?” Joey chuckled.

 

“We even called ourselves a vocal group to differentiate us from a boy band.” Lance added.

 

JC couldn’t believe his ears. It was hard for him to believe that his friends were okay with the idea that their run as *NSYNC was over. He remembered agreeing to take a small break however nowhere in his memories could he recall agreeing to a definite break. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as he let out a deep sigh before looking at the others again.

 

“So… what now?” JC relented.

 

The three men looked at each other before answering in unison. “We move on.”

 

***

 

JC awoke to the pounding of fists to a door and familiar voices calling out his name. “JC? JC! You there?” He was faced down on the floor with a puddle of his beer next to his arm. Coming back to his senses, JC figured that he had blacked out again although he didn’t remember when exactly it happened.

 

He stumbled to his feet to open the door. Joey and Chris were both smiling from ear to ear before they leaped forward to hug their friend. “Yeesh, what’s up with you?” Chris surveyed JC after letting go of him.

 

“Yeah dude, you look homeless.” Joey added.

 

JC took a moment to look himself up and down. He couldn’t help but agree with Chris so he didn’t even try to defend himself.

 

Joey’s nose curled up as he stared at an unkempt JC. “Dude… how’ve you been?” He tried hard to not make a statement about his appearance but his face wasn’t helping at all.

 

“Oh, you know… I’m good.” JC responded softly, rubbing his neck.

 

There was a long silence afterwards. Joey and Chris’ initial excitement seemed non-existent as they continued to wonder about their friend’s personal hygiene. JC was clearly not taking care of himself; something that they weren’t used to seeing since JC was always the cleanest when they were together.

 

“I’m gonna go clean up, then. Sorry guys, when are we supposed to be at the rehearsal?”

 

“In an hour.” Joey replies.

 

JC turned on his heel and disappeared into one of the hallways as Joey and Chris looked at each other, still unable to register how different JC seemed. Chris picked up the Shock Top bottle on the floor, barely just noticing the wet spot on the carpet. “Shock Top?... His main choice was always Mike’s Hard Lemonade.” A fake laugh escaped his mouth.

 

Joey took the bottle from Chris and tossed it between his hands. “Yeah, he never was much of a drinker.”

 

“Alright, let’s go.” JC cleaned up well. He was the most dressed up out of the three of them and it was only for rehearsal. He wore a nice sweater and a pair of Nike sweats. His hair was gelled back and he even shaved. Joey was only wearing an old, baggy shirt and shorts while Chris wore a tank top, a hat, and shorts.

 

“Right, let’s get outta here.” Joey hid the bottle behind his back while he waited for JC to step out the door first. Once he was certain that JC wouldn’t notice, he tossed the bottle back on the floor where Chris had picked it up.

JC, Chris, and Joey pulled up to an unfamiliar building. On the way there, Chris had explained to him that Justin booked the studio for the next four days for their rehearsal. JC couldn’t help but groan due to the disgust he felt towards Justin. What? Just because he rents out a studio he thinks he’s better than us? We used to do that, JC thought to himself. Joey and Chris tried to ignore JC’s obvious discontent by blaring music for the rest of the ride.

 

“Hey everyone, long time no see!” Lance waved from the other end of the room. It was a long room with mirrors on one side. It looked more like a warehouse than a studio.

 

Lance stopped fiddling with the sound system and rushed toward his friends. Joey and Chris welcomed him with open arms and JC couldn’t help but join in on the group hug. Despite everything he felt against them after their unofficial disbanding, he really did miss their company.

 

“Don’t forget about me, guys!” A familiar voice shouted from the entrance. The quartet let go of each other to see who it was.

 

JC went stiff as soon as he heard the voice. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Joey, Lance, and Chris all greeted Justin with genuine fervor while JC stood where he was, still refusing to look in Justin’s direction.

 

“JC, how you doing man?” Justin held out a hand.

 

The other three watched nervously as they waited for JC to react to Justin’s gesture. JC didn’t have them wait too long as he reached out to shake Justin’s hand. “Just like I said on the phone, I’m alright.”

 

Justin grinned, taking JC’s response as a sign that everything would be okay for now. He was well aware of JC’s bitterness when he decided to go solo. He could even remember a few times where JC didn’t try to hide his efforts to spite Justin. All that but Justin never held any ill will toward JC.

 

“Cool, now how about we get started on the routine?” Justin clapped his hands together as he gathered the four men around him.

 

They listened intently as Justin quickly explained which songs they were to perform and how the corresponding choreography would be. JC tried not to show it but he was really glad they were all back together. Despite his slight annoyance of how Justin was doing all the planning, he couldn’t wait to practice with them again.

 

“Awesome, so we’re doing a medley of Girlfriend, Gone, Bye Bye Bye, No Strings Attached, and Tearin’ Up My Heart. This is gonna super sick. One Direction would have to take notes!” Chris exclaimed.

 

“That’s a lot…” Joey whined. His years after *NSYNC didn’t exactly provide him with the opportunities to stay in shape or keep up with the latest dance moves. In his defense, his voice was still as great as ever.

 

“No worries, Joe. I’ll help you keep up.” Lance patted his best friend’s shoulder.

 

Joey smirked, “You? When we first became a group, you didn’t even know how to dance!”

 

“Alright, you two. Let’s do this.” JC was itching to start dancing.

 

Justin ran toward the sound system and hit play. The first few seconds of Gone sent chills through JC’s body. He hasn’t listened to any of there songs in years and now that he was with them again, he couldn’t help but scream. “Woo! This is what I’m talking about!”

 

The others were thrown off with JC’s sudden outburst but they didn’t stop to question him. They all danced vigorously as each variation of their songs filled the room. Joey in particular was heaving non-stop but he still pushed through. He watched as the others danced almost effortlessly, making him wish that he did better with keeping himself fit throughout the years.

 

The adrenaline rushed through JC’s body with every move. He felt like he was on top of the world. Everything was familiar to him again; he didn’t have to worry about failure or how he was going to get through the next day. He had forgotten the feeling of how it was to be in control of his life again.

 

Finally, their last round of rehearsal came to a halt. At this point, they were all drenched and exhausted. Joey and Chris dropped to the floor, trying to catch their breath while Lance and Justin walked off their fatigue. JC stood still. Just like that, his sense of euphoria was gone.

 

“Are we really done?” JC asked.

 

Justin looked at his watched and smirked, “I hope so. It’s nearly midnight.”

 

“Midnight? Aw man, Kelly’s gonna have my ass for this. I was supposed to watch the kids tonight.” Joey tried to sit up but that resulted in him falling back down on the ground.

 

“Yeesh, get yourself together man.” Lance held out a hand to pull Joey up.

 

“One more time.” JC said.

 

The four looked at him, confused. “What?” They all breathed out.

“We should try this one more time.” JC repeated.

 

“Aren’t you tired, man?” Chris asked as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

 

“We haven’t done this in a while. Don’t you all want to make sure Justin doesn’t get embarrassed?” JC’s eyes threw daggers at Justin.

 

Justin knew that today was too good to be true. He couldn’t remember a time in the past few years where JC didn’t try to down him whenever they were together.

 

“I think the guys are tired.” Justin looked at Joey, Chris, and Lance as they stared at him with pleading eyes.

 

JC clenched his fists. He didn’t want the day to end. “Well, let’s all just have a drink then.”

 

“Um… JC?” Lance was so quiet it was a surprise that JC even heard him. “If it’s alright with you, I think I’m just gonna head home. Michael’s probably waiting up for me.”

 

“Yeah, and I have to go see Kelly and the kids.” Joey added.

 

“Joey’s my ride home.” Chris blurted the moment JC looked at him.

 

JC didn’t even want to hear Justin’s reasoning for not wanting to spend more time with him. Fine, I don’t need you guys. He thought. “I’ll see you guys.” JC managed to get out through gritted teeth.

 

The four watched as he stomped out of the studio and into the darkness. “Didn’t he come with you guys?” Lance asked as he directed his question to Chris and Joey. They nodded as they watched the door for JC to come back but after a few moments, they figured that he probably found a cab home.

 

“He really is different, isn’t he?” Justin was clearly speaking to himself but he said it loud enough for the others to hear.

 

Chris and Joey looked at each other nervously. They were both trying to decide whether or not they should tell Justin and Lance about JC’s haggard appearance and spilled beer they found when they went to pick him up. Joey let out a sigh before turning to Lance and Justin, “Chris and I found a spilled beer bottle in his living room.”

 

“He also looked hideous. That was a newly shaved JC you just saw.” Chris added.

 

“Really? That’s not like him at all.” Lance crossed his arms. “He’s usually really clean and he doesn’t usually drink unless there some sort of occasion.”

“Do you think he’s taken up drinking as a new hobby?” Justin asked, concerned.

 

“I wouldn’t be surprised. We all know the different hobbies he’s picked up since we went our separate ways.” Joey responded.

 

Justin rubbed his neck. He couldn’t help but feel guilty about what was happening to JC. He knew leaving the group was a contributory factor to JC’s behavior lately. “I’m sorry, guys…” Justin said.

 

“For what?” Chris’ head popped out of the towel he was using to wipe his face.

 

“For leaving you all up in the air like that. For everything.”

 

Joey walked over to Justin and gave him a playful punch on the arm. “There, that’s what you get.”

 

Justin appreciated Joey’s attempt at trying to lighten the mood but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling bad.

 

“Don’t worry about it, man. We’re all good. JC’s the only one that really got hit hard with the break up. I ain’t mad at ya.” Joey explained.

 

“Me neither.” Lance interjected.

 

Chris nodded, still trying to wipe off all the sweat from his body.

 

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll go check on him tomorrow. See what’s up. He just needs a little Joey in his life.”

 

Justin smiled. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

 

“He just needs a little Joey in his life? Man, I thought I was the gay one.” Lance’s laughter was joined by Justin and Chris who were both trying to hold it in from the moment Joey said it.

 

“Har, har. Very funny.” Joey rolled his eyes. “Let’s go, Chris.”

JC rolled out of bed and struggled to stand on his feet. He had been woken by the repetitive chimes of his doorbell. Whoever it was, they were pressing that thing relentlessly. JC didn’t have the energy after rehearsal to go out to a bar so he opted to drink in the comfort of his own home. It took him a while to find a cab that late in the night and he was pretty sour that none of the guys chased after him. By the time he got home, he was unusually exhausted and ended up passing out on his bed.

 

“I’m coming!” He yelled at the impatient guest.

 

In an angry fit, JC swung the door open ready to smack whoever was behind it. “Woah!” Joey raised up an arm in an attempt to block JC’s already waiting fist.

 

“Ugh, do you know how early it is?” JC’s fist was still suspended in the air. “What do you want?”

 

“I’ll tell you once you put that thing down.”

 

JC did what his friend wanted but suddenly flinched as he put his arm down. There was a sharp pain on his left side that he’d never felt before.

 

“You okay?” Joey asked.

 

JC rubbed the area as he scowled at Joey. “I’m fine. Now what do you want?”

 

“Just wanted to check on you. Can I come in?” Joey took a step into the home without waiting for JC’s response. He took the liberty of walking straight into the kitchen to raid his fridge only to find that the only edible items JC had were frozen veggies, leftover chicken, and endless amounts of beer. He was a little disappointed since he hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. “No breakfast, Josh?”

 

“No.”

 

“Do you at least have something we can snack on?”

 

“I’m not very hungry lately but you can check the pantry.” JC was obviously not enjoying the company. He strode passed Joey and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

 

Joey searched the pantry and eventually settled for some Cheetos and a bottle of water. It was uncomfortably quiet for the next few minutes. Joey stuffed his mouth with Cheetos while JC slowly drank his beer. Neither of them made any eye contact. Eventually, Joey offered JC the bag of chips but he raised a hand rejecting it.

 

“Sorry about last night.” Joey finally spoke.

“No need for that. How’re the kids? Kelly?” JC sounded disinterested but Joey saw it as the most progress they’ve made so far.

 

“They’re great. Briahna was fast asleep while Khloey stayed up to wait for me and I ended up having a hard time putting her to sleep. Kelly wasn’t too happy about that.”

 

JC took another sip, still avoiding eye contact. “So how’d you get her to sleep?”

 

“I dressed her up in a Storm Trooper outfit and tied a red blanket around my neck and pretended I was Superman. We played around for an hour before she finally decided she was tired enough to sleep. She’s such a great kid.” Joey gushed while tracing circles on the table with his finger.

 

JC listened as Joey continued to talk about his family. It’s not like JC had anything against them – Kelly was great and so were the kids – but he really wasn’t in the mood to be entertaining anyone. He let Joey speak endlessly as he finished his beer. Once he finished the bottle, he went to grab another which caused Joey to stop talking.

 

“Another one?” Joey asked.

 

“You want one?”

 

Joey shook his head. “Then don’t keep me from getting another if you don’t want to join me.” JC snarled.

 

Joey couldn’t help but stare as JC popped the lid off the bottle with his bare hands. It looked like he’d done that one too many times. He remembered when Chris used to always be the one to open bottles for JC since he wasn’t used to drinking. Now it was almost like second nature to him.

 

“So when did you pick up that hobby?”

 

“What hobby?” JC knew what Joey was referring too. Something was starting to boil inside of him. It was one thing for him to show up unannounced, quite early in the morning, but it was another thing if he had to listen to Joey throw a fit over his drinking.

 

“The drinking.”

 

“Don’t know. It’s been a while.”

 

JC’s answers were short and not so sweet. Joey was feeling more and more uncomfortable. He wasn’t even sure if the old JC was still in the man that was sitting across from him. It was as if he was a complete stranger. JC never used to be so cold. What happened? Joey thought to himself.

“So are you just going to stare at me while you quietly judge me in your head?” JC said sharply.

 

Joey was caught off guard with that one. “N-no, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to figure out why you’re so –“

 

“So bitter?” JC interrupted.

 

“So into drinking. But since you brought it up, why are you so bitter? Why all the drinking?” Joey finished. He was getting heated now too.

 

“You’ve only seen me drink this one time.”

 

“Chris and I saw the bottle the other day. It’s not like you to leave stuff laying around, especially anything that has to do with alcohol. We’re worried about you.”

 

JC decided that he’d rather not fight his friend so he let out a sigh before answering calmly, “Don’t worry about me. It’s just been hard for me recently. I haven’t been able to land a stable gig in a while.”

 

Joey watched as JC did his best to calm down. He knew very well that JC hasn’t been having much luck. He was starting to feel sorry for him. “I can make some calls. Maybe you can try hosting for a bit? It’s worked out well for me.”

 

JC felt the massive amount of pity in Joey’s voice. He wasn’t about to accept a charity offer. He stood up to yell but the sharp pain came back, stabbing his side. Joey got up to run to JC’s side. “What’s wrong with your side?” Whatever pity that was previously present in his  voice was replaced with concern.

 

“Nothing, get off of me!” JC shoved him. “Can you just leave? I’m tired.”

 

Joey stared at his friend once more before deciding to abide by JC’s request. “Just… promise me you’ll cut down on this stuff.” He picked up the beer bottle from the table and shook it in JC’s face before setting it back down. “There’s people that care about you. Take care of yourself.”

 

JC only glared at him.

 

“Right. Well, I’ll see you later.” It took a while for Joey to start moving but he eventually walked himself out, leaving JC in the kitchen with his face buried in his hands.

Seeing Joey for the next few days was unnerving for JC although Joey acted like nothing happened. There were no issues with rehearsal mostly because JC did his best to avoid Joey. He wasn’t sure if the others knew that Joey came over but he decided it was best that he didn’t know.

 

The pain in his side came and went. Sometimes it lingered longer than usual. It was nearly unnoticeable while he was dancing but the pain was tenfold as he sang. He did his best to hide it, especially from Joey. The amount of drinks JC consumed didn’t change, either. If anything, his encounter with Joey only increased it. At times he thought about drinking in front Joey just to spite him.

 

The guys finally had time to hang out after their last night of rehearsal before the VMA’s. Except this time, JC was the one to opt out. None of them persisted as they said their “see you tomorrow’s.” JC had been increasingly temperamental with all of them so they knew better than to cross him.

 

JC groaned as he entered his home. He wished that the entrance led immediately to his bedroom since he was extremely exhausted. Sleeping has always been his favorite thing to do but he was doing a fair amount more of it than usual, probably because of the non-stop rehearsing. His feet were killing him and his head was throbbing. The pain in his side was faint, but still noticeable.

 

He jumped on the bed and moaned as his body was engulfed by the sheets. Thoughts were quickly driven out of his head as he surrendered to sleep.

 

“What do you mean I can’t perform?”

 

“Sorry man, after that stunt your friend pulled out there we think the lyrics to your song would only add to the controversy that just spawned.” The man who was in charge of performance line-ups shook his head as he crossed JC’s name, along with everyone else’s, off the list.

 

“What stunt?” JC saw Justin rushing back into the room. He had just performed with Janet Jackson for the Super Bowl and JC was up next to promote the launch of his new album.

 

Justin’s face was pale and he did his best to ignore all the reporters that tried to push their way into the backroom. He only looked apologetically at JC as he walked straight by him.

 

“He ripped off Janet’s clothes and exposed her breast.”

 

“He WHAT?”

 

“You heard me. We have to scrap everything. No one’s going to want to watch the rest of the half-time show. Best to just continue on with the game. The sooner this is done, the better.” The man explained.

 

“But this was my chance at getting the publicity I needed for my album!”

 

“Do you think I give a damn about your album?” The man glared at JC, shutting him up.

 

“…Is Janet alright?”

 

“What do you think? Just get outta here, I’ll be kicking out all the performers. Go watch some football.”

 

JC was soaking in sweat and his stomach was hurting. He tossed and turned, trying to resist the urge to puke but soon lost the battle causing him to bolt straight to the bathroom. After moments of belching out the acidic contents of his stomach, he took a minute to reorient himself.

 

He remembered his dream as he splashed cold water on his face. It was more of a nightmare, actually. He couldn’t understand why that memory came back to him. That was the day of his big break but after the scandal with Justin and Janet, all hopes he had of promoting his solo career went down the drain. That was also the day where he started to truly resent Justin.

 

JC stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. “Just gotta get through the night.” He told himself. “Tomorrow will change everything.”

“Anyone else nervous?” Chris asked, jumping in place to get himself pumped up.

 

“Why should we be?” JC sat relaxed on a nearby stool. They were waiting for Justin to come in and explain the final details of the performance.

 

“I haven’t had a camera on me in a decade. Remember the first time a television crew filmed us? Thought I was gonna puke my guts out.”

 

“So you’re saying you’re going to be throwing up on stage? Maybe hopping around like that won’t help.” Lance crossed his arms and gave Chris a funny look.

 

“Right, I’ll stop.” Chris placed a hand on his stomach suddenly realizing that jumping around wasn’t a good idea.

 

“Guys, Justin’s on his way.” Joey pointed down the hall to see a not so enthused Justin making his way to the group.

 

JC didn’t have a good feeling about this. Justin stopped in front of them, hands in his back pockets. He was looking at them the same way he looked at JC after the Super Bowl incident. Justin rubbed the back of his neck as he let out a sigh. “We have to cut some stuff.” He didn’t even look at them.

 

“Cut stuff?” Chris repeated.

 

“Yeah, they’re saying it’s too long. We’ll end up going overtime.”

 

JC stood up. “Can’t you just not sing one or two of your songs?”

 

“I wish I could… we’ll cut No Strings Attached and Tearin’ Up Heart.” The guys stared at him, expecting him to say more but he just walked back out.

 

“Well, damn. Looks like you won’t be on stage long enough to puke.” Joey said looking at Chris.

 

JC couldn’t believe it. Justin was once again ruining everyone’s chances. He looked at the others to gauge their expressions but they all looked so neutral. They didn’t care one bit about the cuts and Justin’s rude dismissal. JC gritted his teeth as he fought the urge to chase after Justin to punch him in the face. He searched the room for drinks but there were none.

 

They heard the cheers from the crowd outside. Justin had started to perform. Chris, Joey, and Lance quieted down to listen to Justin. In about 10 minutes, they were to set to to stand on the platform that would elevate them onto the stage to perform. JC was contemplating leaving right before it was their time to humiliate Justin but he didn’t feel comfortable bringing the others down too.

 

“You guys are coming up.” One of the crew members motioned for them to follow him beneath the stage to assume their positions on the lift.

 

JC let out a sigh as he tried to forget about his anger for a moment. It was the moment he’s been waiting for these past few weeks. He was going to make the most out of the time they had now which was a measly two minutes, plus or minus.

 

The platform started to rise, each of them quieting down. The cheers from the audience got louder and louder. JC’s heart was racing. Once they were completely revealed and the smoke around them start to dissipate, the audience’s screams got louder when JC thought they had reached their highest pitch. The music started to play and JC once again felt the rush he had been craving all these years.

 

Every step he danced had a whole new meaning from when he rehearsed them. Each note he belted out contained remnants of his soul. Performing was his life. He’d forgotten how good it felt to be on stage with his friends. The people who rode with all the way to success. He heard his name being screamed from all directions. After all this time, his fan base was still there. The warmth surged through his heart and for the first time in a long time, he was genuinely happy.

 

Before he knew it their performance was up and they were sinking back into the stage. The endless screams of each of their names still audible even after the hole in the stage had closed. Joey patted JC on the back as he smiled humbly at him. It was the first time in a long time that all of them saw JC this happy again.

 

****

 

JC sat back, watching the commotion around him. He and the others decided to wait in Justin’s dressing room for the after they watched him receive the reward. He was still mad at Justin but he couldn’t help but cheer his friend along with the rest of the people. Lance, Chris, and Joey were shouting the loudest. It would’ve taken a miracle to settle them down. JC wished that he could be as happy and lighthearted as they were. To be truly proud of Justin without any bad blood.

 

Chris picked up a green jolly rancher from a bowl that was sitting on Justin’s dresser and passed the bowl around to the others. “Damn, no M&M’s.”

 

JC picked up a bag of skittles and raised it up between his pointer and middle fingers. “Skittles no good?”

 

“Those are for pansies. It’s all about the M&M’s, my man.” Chris unwrapped the jolly rancher and threw it in his mouth. “Tonight was great, wasn’t it?” He said in between sucks. He wasn’t prepared for the saliva to well up in his mouth from the sourness of the candy.

 

“Extremely. I forgot how fun it was to perform with you guys. Good thing you didn’t throw up.” Lance answered as he patted Chris’ shoulder.

 

“What about you, Josh? How was it?” Joey pointed the question to JC.

 

JC grinned as he leaned further into the couch. “I loved every minute of it.”

 

“Oh, totally. The grand two minutes.” Chris chuckled.

 

“I’m sorry about that, guys.” Justin walked in, hearing what Chris was laughing about. “That was really my only option. I hope you guys aren’t too mad.”

 

Lance got up to give his friend a hug. “We can’t be mad at you. We’re here to support you and that’s what we did. Right, guys?” Lance turned to the other three men in the room.

 

Chris and Joey gave a thumbs up while JC avoided eye contact. Justin ignored JC’s coldness and decided to sit next to him anyway. He held up a hand to give JC a high five, not sure what to expect. JC let out a sigh and high fived him, he didn’t want to spoil tonight.

 

“Alright,” Justin clapped his hands together. “There’s an after party that’s going to start soon and I want us all to be there. What do you guys say?”

 

Chris stood up and pretended to be in his pain as he placed a hand on the small of his back. “I don’t know; do you think they’d appreciate old geezers showing up?”

 

“You’re the oldest one here. Don’t call us geezers.” Joey piped up. “We’re in. Leave the old coot out of it.”

 

Chris frowned but agreed to go to the party anyway. JC decided that going to the party would give him a chance to start talking to people about music again. He still felt a surge of electricity coursing through his veins from the performance so he figured he’d use it all up trying to network.

 

****

 

Everyone went their separate ways once they arrived at the party. Justin was sucked into a group of celebrities talking to him about his award, Chris and Joey went straight for the food, while Lance spoke to some friends he hasn’t seen in a while.  JC worked his way through the waves of dancing people.

 

He spotted Jermaine Dupri in the back and figured that he’d try speaking to him. JC pitched his ideas to him and although Jermaine seemed interested, he had to step back from it all. That irked JC to know that even someone like Jermaine, who had been out of the game as well wasn’t even interested in working with him.

 

JC tried to speak with Timbaland but he wasn’t interested either. He suggested that JC do his own thing again and see where it goes. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do?” he muttered as he turned away from Timbaland to scout out more producers. He was getting more and more irritated.

 

The music was too loud, people were too crazy, and everyone he spoke to had to ask him to repeat what he was saying because they couldn’t hear. He was about to approach David Guetta when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Timbaland.

 

“If you really want to get back in the business, why not work with Justin? That kid has got some talent. You should know. I had lots of fun working with him.” Timbaland suggested.

 

JC smiled at Timbaland through gritted teeth. “I’m actually trying to do stuff without Justin’s help. I don’t need him.”

 

Timbaland looked at him, not completely understanding the look on JC’s face. But he knew it would be best not to pry anymore. “I’ll see you around man.” He raised his glass to go back to the woman he was talking to, leaving JC.

 

His fists were clenched. Timbaland suggesting that JC work with Justin was too humiliating for him. For years he had been trying to succeed without Justin’s help and having someone suggest that he work with him was like a slap to the face. His failures are because of Justin.

 

JC felt another hand on his shoulder. It was heavy, giving him an idea who it was. “Enjoying the party?” Joey asked, flashing his toothy his grin. His smile disappeared when he was met with JC’s icy glare. “What happened?”

 

JC jerked his shoulder to get Joey’s hand off. He saw Chris coming toward them as he made his way in the opposite direction. He wasn’t too far when he heard Chris ask Joey, “What’s up with him now?”

 

****

 

JC rummaged through his cabinets to find the strongest drink he could get his hands on. His hands were trembling as he desperately wanted alcohol in his system. Unable to find what he was looking for, he settled for another Shock Top. The tension he’d been feeling managed to mitigate as soon as he took a long drink from the bottle.

 

His anger resurfaced as he thought about his failed attempts at finding someone to work with. He took another long drink, finishing it in less than a minute. JC grabbed a few more bottles and quickly went through them.

 

The buzz turned into a euphoric high. He felt the room start to spin and his vision start to turn black. “Fuckin’ Justin,” he mumbled as he fell to the floor.

“Y’all heard from JC lately?” Lance looked over at Chris and Joey while he was preparing their lunches.

 

Chris shook his head while Joey stared blankly at the table. He couldn’t help but shake the feeling that JC was at home drinking himself to death. He also wasn’t sure whether or not he should express his concerns with the others, knowing it was probably not his place. Something in the back of his mind kept him from saying anything to the others the night JC stormed off from the after party. Joey had attributed JC’s attitude to an upset stomach when everyone asked where he’d ran off to.

 

“Alright here’s your sandwiches my brothers, dig in.” Lance placed each man’s respective sandwiches on the table in front of them and while Chris immediately took a bite out of his, Joey continued to sit without even looking at the food.

 

“Helloooooo?” Chris snapped his fingers in Joey’s face, catching his attention.

 

“What?” Joey asked, annoyed.

 

“Are you alright? Aren’t you hungry?” Chris said in between bites.

 

“What’s wrong?” Lance added.

 

Joey bit his lip, thinking if he should spill the contents of his brain to the others. Why the hell not? He thought. “I’m just worried about JC.” He turned to Chris after addressing Lance. “Do you remember when we went to pick him up for rehearsals and he was all crazy looking?

 

Chris swallowed the contents in his mouth before nodding. “Ah yes, caveman JC. What of it?”

 

“Well, I went back to his place to check on him. I found out that he doesn’t eat much and the only liquids in his diet are alcoholic. He was also really defensive when I tried to get him to cut down on the drinks.” Joey explained. A part of him was still debating whether or not to mention JC’s disorientation that night.

 

The other two men just blinked, unsure of what to think of Joey’s confession. Chris nervously took another bite of his sandwich and then proceeded to slouch onto the table. A few moments passed by for them to let the details sink in.

 

“So you think he’s been drinking these past few days? That doesn’t sound like him.” Lance raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t even picture JC with a bottle in his hand. The JC he knew was as clean as a whistle.

 

“You’d be surprised, dude.” Chris finished off his sandwich and licked some sauce off his fingers. “What do we do now?”

 

Joey’s lips pursed while he took a moment to think things through. He knew for sure that JC would kick him out if he showed up at his place again only to lecture him about his drinking habits. “Let’s go see how our old friend’s doing.” Joey eyed Chris and Lance who seemed to have been thinking the same thing Joey stated out loud.

 

Lance grabbed his keys and headed toward the door while the other two followed suit. “We’ll take my car.”

 

***

 

“Damn it!” JC yelled as he spilled vodka onto the carpet. His frustrations with the other night’s bad luck came rushing back to him. He gritted his teeth as he reached for another glass to pour more vodka.

 

His thoughts cursed Justin. Every time he thought of why he wasn’t getting anywhere in his life, he always came to the conclusion that it was all Justin’s fault. From NSYNC’s disbanding to the other night’s failure to network, it was all Justin’s doing.

 

Justin cut their performance in half at the last minute. He was almost sure that Justin did it on purpose. They were all promised a lengthy performance – even worked their asses off – only to be told that everything they’ve lost sleep over for the weeks leading up to the VMA’s was “too long,” and had to be reduced. JC blamed the cut for being the reason why he couldn’t talk anyone into working with him. His stage time was too short and he reasoned with himself that no one got the chance to see that he still had what it took to be in the business.

 

The pain started to shoot up and down his left side again but he ignored it. JC downed a couple shots before deciding that the glass was no longer necessary. He gripped the bottle in his hand as he made his way into the living room, grabbing the remote but never turning on the TV. He leaned back into the couch and let out a sigh as he closed his eyes.

 

It wasn’t too long before he heard a knock on the door. He stayed in his current position, hoping that whoever it was would just leave if he didn’t answer the door. A few seconds went by before another knock came… and another… and then another.

 

“Fuck,” he groaned as he got up. He looked through the peep hole and cursed some more while trumping the urge to just walk away and not let them in.

 

“Hey, buddy!” Chris walked in and gave JC a big hug. He scrunched his nose when he got a whiff of JC’s smell. He smelled like he hadn’t showered for days. Chris backed off as normal as he could while trying to keep himself from gasping for fresh air.

 

Lance hugged JC next after Chris, then Joey. JC only halfheartedly returned their affection and that bothered Lance a little bit. He looked over JC and the idea of him taking on the appearance of a drunken caveman a few weeks prior was starting to become a little more visible in his head – especially with the bottle of vodka still gripped in JC’s hand.

 

“What are you all doing here?” JC asked. He was in no mood to entertain and watching Lance and Joey casually sit on his couch while Chris looked through his DVD collection made him quickly regret the decision to let them in. He took note of the two paper bags that were cradled in Joey’s arms.

 

“Yikes, sounds an awful like you don’t want us around.” Chris feigned a hurt reaction while grasping his chest.

 

JC looked at the three men as they waited for him to respond. He really didn’t want them around but he couldn’t find the perfect way to say it without hurting their feelings. “No… I just wasn’t expecting company.”

 

“Well we’re here now and we brought goodies!” Lance reached into one of the bags that Joey was holding and pulled out hotdogs and buns. “A little birdie told me that you haven’t stocked up on food so now I’m here to make you have something to eat.” Lance grinned, holding the food in each hand.

 

JC glared at Joey and wondered what else he told the guys about his last visit. Joey shrugged and gave him a small smile as he followed Lance into the kitchen. Chris busied himself with looking through JC’s DVD’s again as soon as he realized it was just him and JC in the living room. He wasn’t sure how to act around JC knowing that he hasn’t been himself lately. He let out a sigh of relief as he looked out the corner of his eye and saw JC turn around to meet up with Lance and Joey. When he was sure JC was gone, he plopped onto the couch and tried to sort out his emotions.

 

Throughout all the years he’d known JC, he’d never been around JC like this. He knew that the band’s separation wasn’t exactly something JC agreed with but he never thought it would impact him this much. Chris wasn’t necessarily living the lavish lifestyle he enjoyed with NSYNC but he was happy with what he had, nonetheless. He knew Justin played a small role in JC’s transformation but he, along with Lance and Joey, were supportive of Justin’s decision. He couldn’t understand why JC had such a rough time accepting that the group was no longer together and to just enjoy or make the most of what he still had. “You’re throwing it all away,” Chris muttered.

 

JC watched as Lance and Joey fussed with the groceries. He took a long drink when Joey looked at him. It was the best he could do without flipping Joey off. He didn’t appreciate having the guys know of his situation especially since Joey showed up uninvited the last time… much like this time. He could tell that Joey was trying suppress his irritation and that satisfied him for the moment.

Lance watched as JC gave Joey death stares. Joey was now making an effort to keep his eyes on the food. Lance cleared his throat, “So Josh, how do you like your hotdogs?”

 

“I’m not hungry.” JC mumbled as he kept his eyes on Joey.

 

“It’s nearly three in the afternoon. You’ve got to be hungry!” Lance tried his best to remove the tension between his friends. At this moment, he wondered where Chris was since he figured it would’ve been much easier to spark up a conversation with both Chris and Joey in the same room.

 

“Well, I’m not hungry.” JC repeated.

 

Joey looked up at JC, then at Lance, then back at JC. “But Lance made an effort to bring you stuff. You’d hurt his feelings if you don’t eat.”

 

JC’s mouth curled up into a mischievous smile as he took another long drink from the bottle before taking a place between Joey and Lance. “Alright, I’ll eat something. But I’ll make it myself.”

 

“Thank you, kindly.” Lance smiled.

 

JC waited for Lance leave him and Joey at the counter to set the food on the table and take a seat before whispering to Joey. “What else did you tell them?”

 

Joey glanced over to where Lance was and then looked back at his food before answering. “I just told them you didn’t have food, that’s all.”

 

“Did you tell them that I was a loser?”

 

“No.” Joey did his best to keep his voice down as he responded to JC’s bizarre question. Lance was still busy at the dining table, shooting off texts.

 

“Did you tell them that I couldn’t take care of myself anymore? That you’re afraid that I’m becoming an alcoholic?” JC shoved Joey’s arm, causing Joey to drop some food.

 

“Hey, calm down. I don’t mean any harm!” Joey’s voice was starting to rise. Lance saw what was happening and went to go look for Chris.

 

“You think I’m an alcoholic, don’t you? That’s why you’re all here. Does Justin know?” JC shoved Joey again, harder this time.

 

“We’re just worried about you. Why the hell does it matter if Justin knows or not?” Joey’s fists were clenched as he tried to not let his anger get the best of him.

 

“Does Justin know?!”  JC yelled as he shoved Joey again.

 

Lance and Chris ran into the kitchen to see Joey shove JC back. They wanted to get in between them and break it up but their limbs were frozen in place. JC came back and socked Joey right in the mouth, causing him to spit out blood. Lance was now behind Joey, trying to hold him back while Chris was making a run to JC.

 

Joey got out of Lance’s grasp and rammed into JC. JC fell back as his arm knocked the bottle of vodka onto the floor, smashing into pieces. JC stayed down trying to get the strength to get back up again. He grasped his side as the pain started to flare up again.

 

“I told you to cut this shit out!” Joey yelled as he reached to pick up JC.

 

JC met Joey’s eyes and used his free hand to take a hit at Joey. Joey screeched as he stepped back, pressing his hand against his stomach. “Fuck!”

 

“Joey!” Lance grabbed a towel and pressed it onto Joey’s wound.

 

“What the hell did you do?!” Chris picked up JC from the ground and threw him against the wall.

 

JC tried to catch his breath as Chris pinned him to the wall. He now felt something wet, along with a dull pain in the hand he used to hit Joey. He looked down to see that he was clenching onto a piece of broken glass that was cutting into his skin. His eyes widened as he realized what he had done.

 

Chris looked down and saw the bloody glass. “You stabbed him with that thing?! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Chris stepped back and looked at Joey, trying to register what just happened.

 

JC’s eyes were glued on Joey who was now sitting on the floor, wincing in pain, with Lance beside him. Tears were falling from Joey’s eyes as he yelped each time Lance tried to tend the wound. Lance’s hands were trembling, his face pale. Chris frantically grabbed another towel, trying to help Lance clean up the blood. Joey’s breathing was starting to become more and more haggard with sweat dripping from his face. The blood kept coming.

 

“It’s not stopping. We have to go to the hospital!” Lance’s voice was shaking just as much as his body was. He tried to hold back his tears as Chris and Lance helped Joey up.

 

Chris looked back at JC before they left the kitchen. He was still, almost lifeless, with the glass still in his hand. “Josh, let’s go! Look at him, he won’t stop bleeding!” Chris pleaded, also fighting back tears.

 

JC looked straight at Joey who was trying hard to keep himself up. “It fucking hurts!” He groaned before completely passing out.

 

“Fuck!” Chris yelled as he and Lance held onto Joey to keep him from falling. “Let’s go!”

 

JC stood watching them carry Joey out of the kitchen. As soon as he heard the front door close, he dropped the glass as he fell to his knees. Joey’s blood was in a small pool in front of him, with drops leading out of the kitchen. His body violently shook as tears streamed down his face. He repeatedly punched the ground, cutting his hands as he hit pieces of glass. JC looked up to the ceiling and screamed at the top of his lungs, ignoring the pain in his side and in his hands, before letting his body hit the floor.

 

He breathed rapidly as his vision started to blur. “Joey…” He muttered before everything went black.

“How ya feeling, Joe?” Lance sat the end of the bed as he watched the nurse fix the dressing on his wound. He curled his nose at the sight of it.

 

The cut was deep but luckily it wasn’t anything too serious. No major organs were hit and that was definitely something Joey could be happy about. With everything that’s been happening between him and JC, he was glad that nothing serious happened to him. Despite what went down the other day, he was still worried about his friend.

 

“Never better.” Joey grinned as the nurse finished up. He thanked her as he sat back on the bed. He and Lance watched the nurse leave before starting up conversation.

 

“How did Kelly take it?”

 

“I told her we got mugged.” Joey wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Lance’s eyes widened right before he covered his eyes with one of his hands. “So Kelly doesn’t know that Josh nearly killed you?”

 

Joey laughed. “I didn’t die, did I? Besides, I don’t want her thinking Josh is some deranged murderer.”

 

“How could you be laughing at I time like this?” At this point, Lance was pacing around the room, replaying the events of the other day in his head. He shuddered as he remembered trying to stop Joey from bleeding out.

 

“Josh needs us more than ever. He’s a pain in the ass but we can’t give up on him.”

 

Lance stopped to look at his friend. Joey was always the one in the group who always had a smile on his face. He was amazed at how Joey still managed to keep a good mood after being stabbed in the stomach. “I guess you’re right,” he shrugged.

 

“Lighten up, will ya? I saw your face, acted like you saw a ghost.” Joey laughed as he tried to calm Lance down, ignoring the glare he got.

 

“That’s not funny.” Lance crossed his arms.

 

Joey adjusted himself in the hospital bed, mistakenly making an uncomfortable turn that caused him to flinch. Lance was at his side within a second. When he realized that it wasn’t a big deal and that Joey was laughing at him again, he had to refrain himself from punching Joey in the gut.

 

***

 

JC’s home was a mess. After waking up on the floor, he remembered what he had done to Joey and he rampaged around his house. He threw glass, pillows, books, memorabilia, even his song notes. He didn’t understand what was happening to him. The pain in his side was hurting more than ever.

 

“Fuck,” he said to himself, “What the hell did I do?”

 

His brain wracked at the thought of how Joey was doing. Two days have passed since the incident and each time he grabbed his car keys to go see Joey, his feet remained planted. The guilt was eating him alive. He would never have forgiven himself if something happened to Joey as the result of what he did.

 

He was angry at the fact that neither Chris nor Lance had called him to let him know how Joey was doing. But at the same time, he couldn’t blame them. They were probably terrified of him, he would be too. Suddenly his thoughts focused on Justin and he wondered if Justin had heard about what happened or if he was too busy with his career to even give a rat’s ass about his friends.

 

JC played with his phone, flipping it open then shut. He toyed with the idea of calling Joey but nothing good in terms of a nice apology came out right. He was sorry. Joey was just being a good friend even if he was getting annoying. JC tried to remember how he got the glass in his hand the first place. After the bottle shattered, he remembered Joey coming after him and then all of a sudden, Joey was crying out in pain, blood everywhere.

 

The pool of blood Joey left was cleaned up. Somehow JC found the energy to clean the kitchen. Almost all of the blood was wiped up, minus the few drops that stained the carpet as Chris and Lance lugged Joey out the door.

 

“Chris…” he muttered after remember the look Chris gave him right before they left, “What a guy.”

 

Even after witnessing him stab Joey, Chris still had a sliver of hope that he would help them carry Joey out. JC smiled at the fact that at least in that moment, Chris wasn’t afraid of him like he thought he was. He probably couldn’t say the same about him now. JC wanted to call an ambulance, hell, he wanted to turn himself in but it was as if all the nerve in his body had shut off and ignored all the signals telling his legs to run over and help Joey out.

 

JC went back to the kitchen and searched his cabinets for something to drink, ignoring the pain in his side. Beer wasn’t good enough. He stopped for a moment to notice bruises on his arms, thinking he probably got it from his confrontation with Joey. But he didn’t remember hitting those particular spots on anything. He shook off the thought when he found what he was looking for.

 

“Ah, the Green Fairy.” He smiled before grabbing the bottle and opening it.

 

He took a long drain as he enjoyed the slightly bitter taste of the absinthe. The bottle was nearly half way finished when the pain in his side throbbed violently, causing him to flinch and nearly drop the bottle. “Damn it.”

 

JC made his way to the medicine cabinet in his bathroom to look for some pain killers. He downed two pills using sink water to help him swallow. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and noticed that the whites in his eyes had little hints of yellow in them. The pain wasn’t going away and JC had wished that the pain killers took their effect soon.

 

***

 

“Come in,” Joey said, responding to the knock on his hospital door.

 

“Hallo, I come bearing gifts.” Chris walked in with a basket of food and drinks. He stopped to look at Joey and the bandages that were wrapped around his stomach. “Geez, maybe you really are Superman.”

 

Joey put a finger to his lips. “Shh, no one else knows.”

 

The two men laughed as they high fived each other. Chris took a seat in the recliner and propped his feet up on the bed. “So how are you two? When will I get the invitation to the wedding?”

 

Lance raised an eyebrow at Chris. “Excuse me?”

 

“You looked like you were going to die before Joey even got to the hospital. I wouldn’t be surprised if you professed your hidden love for him by now.” Chris smirked.

 

“Har, har, Christopher. Har, har.” Lance rolled his eyes.

 

Joey enjoyed watching Chris make fun of Lance but he couldn’t shake the fact that no one has checked on JC in a while. He was pretty sure that he’s probably shaken up by the whole thing. If he was in JC’s position, he wouldn’t know what to do.

 

Chris and Lance quit exchanging banters when the nurse came back into the room. “Oh wow, you have a full house in here.” She glanced at Chris and Lance but kept her eyes on Joey. There was a light blush flushing her cheeks as Joey grinned at her. Chris gave Joey a wink and mouthed the words ‘still got it,’ causing Lance to nudge Chris’ arm telling him quietly to cut it out.

 

“Is there anything wrong, ma’am?” Lance asked, startling the nurse.

 

“Oh um, no. I’m sorry about that. I just came in to tell you that the discharge papers are completed. Mr. Fatone can go home now.” She frowned as she turned towards Joey. “I really hope you enjoyed your stay here, sir. Please get better, a wheelchair will be set outside for you.” She placed a hand on his arm and gave him a small smile before leaving.

 

“That’s unprofessional.” Lance made sure the door shut before passing judgment. “She wasn’t like that at all when Kelly was here, yesterday.”

 

“That’s because Kelly would’ve clawed her eyes out.” Chris pretended to claw out his own eyes much like he thought Kelly would’ve done to the nurse.

 

Chris stopped midway through clawing when Joey caught his attention. “What’s up, Joe?”

 

Joey got up and started changing into his regular clothes, Lance handing him a clean shirt that Kelly brought in the night before. “I need a favor.”

 

Chris pouted. “What kind of favor?”

 

Joey laughed at his friend’s reaction. “I haven’t even told you what the favor was yet and you’re already grumpy.”

 

“Because you never ask me to do anything unless you know for sure that the other guys would be too scared to do it.” Chris retorted.

 

“Ahem, I’m not scared of anything.” Lance gloated.

 

“Oh yeah? What about the whole ride to the hospital? ‘Oh Joey, don’t be like this. Oh Joey, please don’t leave me. Oh Joey, what am I gonna tell Kelly and the children?’” Chris put his hands on his face, imitating how Lance was when they were driving Joey to the hospital.

 

“You’re funny, Chris. Can you promise me to keep the same level of humor when you check on Josh for me?” Joey had a sly smile on his face as he struggled to pull his jeans up. “I’d do it myself but you know… I’d rather not get stabbed again.”

 

“So you’re going to send the lion some fresh meat. I see how it is.” Chris crossed his arms. “What am I supposed to do over there? What if he goes crazy, again?”

 

“You don’t have to tell him to stop drinking. Just let him know you have no hard feelings against him, he’s dealing with a lot.”

 

“What if I do have hard feelings against him? He could’ve killed you, man!”

 

Joey grabbed a few of his things while handing Lance the heavier items and walked over to face Chris. “Thanks, man. I knew you’d do it. Let me know how it goes.” He patted Chris on the shoulder, winking at him before he and Lance stepped out the door.

 

Chris watched as Lance helped Joey sit in the wheelchair that was left by the nurse just outside the door. Before wheeling Joey away, Lance looked at Chris and waved goodbye. “See you, honey. I love you.”

 

When the disappeared down the hallway, Chris threw his hands in the air. “Damn, why is it always me?”

 

***

 

Chris thought about all the different ice breakers he could think of on the way to JC’s home. He purposely kept his speed at 65, being in no rush to see JC. It wasn’t that he was angry at JC but he was more upset at what he was feeling about the whole situation. He knew JC had been on edge lately, but witnessing what had happened the other day really threw him for a bone. He just hoped that JC had calmed down by now.

 

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding as he pulled up next to JC’s car in the driveway. “Here goes nothing,” he muttered before stepping out of his car, taking his time to reach the doorstep.

 

He raised a fist and knocked on the door. No one answered after a few seconds and he thought hard about turning around and driving back to see Lance and Joey. “I’ll try one more time,” he said to himself.

 

After another while with no one coming to the door, he took out his phone and hit call on JC’s number. “Hey Josh, I’m outside. You home?” It went straight to voicemail.

 

Chris leaned back to glance around the corner to make sure that he wasn’t hallucinating when he saw JC’s car in the driveway. He checked his watch to check the time. “There’s no way you could be asleep at three in the afternoon.” Knowing how much JC loved to sleep, it was rare for him to be napping at this time.

 

He tried to peak through the windows to try and see if he could spot any sign of movement within the house but the blinds were closed. “Hmph, if you don’t want to see me, then fine. I have no problem with that.”

 

Chris jumped back into the driver’s seat of his car and searched his pockets for his keys but didn’t start the ignition once he found them. He fiddled with the keys as he sat in the car, trying to figure out the odd feeling he was having. For some reason he felt that something wasn’t right. After much time taken with arguing with himself, he got out of the car and stomped back to JC’s doorstep.

 

He pounded on the door as he called out, “Open up! I know you’re in there!”

 

Still, there was no answer. He pounded harder and harder until his wrist started to hurt. “Shit, there’s no way you could’ve slept through that.” He muttered while rubbing his wrist.

 

“Josh!” He yelled out one more time before kicking the door. The impact of his foot on the door caused a small object to fall from the top of the door frame.

 

He picked up the key and grinned. “Guess I’m breaking and entering.”

 

The inside of JC’s home was dark just like he remembered it being the last time he was there. Chris’ face scrunched up in disgust as he noticed some of Joey’s blood still stained the carpet. He went to the kitchen first. Cabinet doors were wide open and a few drinks were set out on counters.

 

“Josh?” he called out. The odd feeling he had earlier was growing quicker with each second he received no answer.

 

He made his way through the halls and checked each room for any sign of JC before he finally reached the master bedroom which had the door creaked open. He stepped in and took notice of the unmade bed and different articles of clothing laid out randomly throughout the room. The light coming from the bathroom caught his attention and he slowly made his way towards it.

 

He tapped lightly on the door. “Josh, you in there?”

 

After not hearing anything, he pushed the door until it was abruptly stopped by something that was blocking it. “What the hell?”

 

He looked down and saw JC’s foot. “Shit!” He squeezed through and frantically tried to wake JC. “Josh, holy shit, Josh! Wake up, man!”

 

Chris got back up with the intention of turning on the sink to splash water on JC’s face when he spotted the half drunk bottle of absinthe that was set on the sink counter. His eyes widened as he quickly dug around his pockets for his phone to call 911. The operator informed him that an ambulance would be sent as soon as possible so he continued to try to wake up JC to buy time until the ambulance arrived.

 

He positioned JC so that he was laying flat on the ground with Chris on the side of his head. “Damn, where’s Lance when you need him? Sorry dude, gotta kiss ya.” Chris propped up JC’s head and opened his mouth slightly as he tried to give him CPR. Chris’ heart raced faster when he saw it wasn’t working. “Damn it, why is it every time I’m here, someone has to go to the hospital?! Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

 

***

 

“Is he going to be alright?”

 

JC’s eyes were shut but he could hear Chris conversing with someone whose voice he didn’t recognize. It sounded like an older man. JC felt around with his finger tips, sensing wires coming from his body and falling off the edge of the bed. His head and side were throbbing, causing him to groan.

 

“It seems that he is waking up. Good, I can explain to the both of you what the results were.”

 

JC opened his to see Chris and a man who looked to be in his late 50’s. He was balding and sported a goatee. The red and yellow pinstripe shirt he was wearing underneath his lab coat irritated JC’s eyes, making him lift a hand to cover his face. The hand he used had his patient wristband. Great, a hospital. He thought.

 

“How’re you feeling buddy?” Chris said softly as he took a seat on the recliner next to the bed.

 

“Get me out of here.” JC mumbled, ignoring Chris’ question. He figured that Chris was smart enough to see that he was clearly not doing well. “What happened?”

 

“I’ll be the one to explain that.” The doctor cut in as Chris opened his mouth to explain, causing him to shut it again. “My name is Dr. Connelly and I came to read you your results. I was hoping you’d wake up.”

 

JC leaned back and closed his eyes. He knew that what he was going to hear next couldn’t be anything good. “Sure.”

 

“I’m afraid that your drinking habits are what brought you here, Mr. Chasez. The excessive amounts of alcohol that you’ve consumed have caused your liver to deteriorate. It is very close to not being able to filter your system correctly. Your liver is supposed to absorb and process what you consume and convert it into energy and other useful things for your body, in layman’s terms. If you want your liver to function correctly, you have to reconsider your drinking habits. It may be fatal.” The doctor explained, not pausing in between sentences.

 

Chris’ mouth was gaped open as he stared at the doctor while JC was busy trying to process what he was just told.

 

Dr. Connelly adjusted his glasses before he spoke again, “May I ask if you have been feeling anything out of the ordinary?”

 

JC shifted in the bed, not sure if he wanted to tell the doctor about the pain in his side with Chris there. He looked to Chris before he addressed the doctor. “You sure you want to be here for this? You’re starting to get pale.”

 

“Do you want me here? I can leave.” Chris stood up to make his way for the door before JC interrupted him.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

Chris swallowed hard as he awkwardly sat down, deciding that it was best if he heard what else the doctor had to say. He was sure that if he left, JC wouldn’t tell him, much more the guys, what his condition was.

 

The doctor cleared his throat, still waiting for JC’s answer. “Have you been feeling any pain or discomfort?”

 

“My left side’s been hurting.” JC placed his hand on his side to show the doctor exactly where the pain was.

 

“I see. How long have you been feeling this?”

 

Chris started playing with his thumbs. He tried his best to not rock back and forth in his seat. The anxiety was killing him. JC hasn’t been feeling right and he never knew about it. He was starting to feel guilty for judging his behaviors lately.

 

“A few weeks… maybe a month or two.” JC avoided eye contact with the doctor, not sure if he wanted to read his expression when he told him.

 

“Did you seek medical attention for this?” The doctor continued.

 

“Did you feel this while we were rehearsing? During the performance?” Chris was standing up now. His worry was through the roof at this point. JC only glared at him but he ignored it. “Damn it, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you listen to Joey when he told you to cut down on that stuff?”

 

Dr. Connelly cleared his throat once again but Chris held his ground, not wanting to sit anymore. “The pain that you’re feeling is due to your swollen spleen, another effect of your alcoholic behaviors. That only justifies our findings. By choosing to ignore your pain for that long, you’ve put yourself at an increased risk for related disease. That yellowing in your eyes, that’s a sign of early jaundice. Yet another consequence of your actions.”

 

Chris groaned as he buried his face in his hands, not sure how much more of this he could take. The way he was reacting made it seem like he was the one who had been diagnosed with this stuff. He mentally kicked himself for not being more concerned about JC before.

 

JC didn’t speak. More so because he didn’t know what to say but a part of him also regretted not taking care of himself the way he should’ve been. He hated himself for being so careless. Now here he was, sitting in a hospital bed and finding out that his liver was basically crap. “What do I have to do to fix this?” He asked the doctor.

 

“First things, first: you have to quit drinking. The hospital has various sources you can turn to if you need help with quitting. There are different seminars and support groups that are offered that can also educate and instruct you on how to do so. Another thing is to eat a balanced diet. This will help your body get used to taking in the proper nutrients it needs. Keep yourself hydrated and rest as much as you can. Exercising comes as soon as your body feels less fatigued. We don’t want you to overwork yourself. Lastly, take your medication at the proper times indicated. All this information will be written out along with the discharge papers we give you.”

 

Chris listened intently, determined to do whatever he could to help JC’s recovery process. Dr. Connelly turned to Chris and gave him a soft smile, “I trust that you will help your friend through this.”

 

“You got it, doc.” Chris nodded.

 

JC rolled his eyes and thanked the doctor before he left the room. He chose not look at Chris, ashamed of how he’d not taken care of himself as well as the huge burden he’s put on his friends.

 

“What’s happening to you, dude?” Chris asked.

 

“You can leave now. Thanks for taking me to the hospital.” JC wasn’t prepared to have this talk just yet. Joey was also on his mind but he knew this time wouldn’t have been a good moment to ask about him.

 

“Are you seriously kicking me out? I’m not leaving you, man. You heard what I told the doc, I’m helping you with this.” Chris covered his eyes with his hand, in disbelief that JC would still push him away after hearing about his condition. “You’re unbelievable sometimes.”

 

JC struggled to get up. If he was going to ignore Chris, he was going to do it on his way to the bathroom. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out too well for him since he could barely stand up and Chris was immediately at his side before he could stumble over. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Let me help you, your highness.” Chris helped JC to the bathroom and waited for him to shut the door before pulling out his phone.

 

“Howdy, Christopher.” Lance nearly dropped his phone as he tried to hold it in between his ear and shoulder while he was carrying Joey’s bags into the house. They had just parked in Joey’s driveway when Chris called since they had to stop and get Joey some food.

 

Joey motioned for Lance to drop his stuff on the ground, more concerned with what Chris had to say. The whole trip home, he was thinking of what Chris and JC had been up to. He limped closer to Lance when he raised his voice, trying to make sure that he didn’t put any strain on his stomach.

 

“He’s what?!” Lance’s voice was like a megaphone when it came back to Chris’ phone, making him hold the phone a little bit away from his ear.

 

“Just get over here before I kick Josh’s ass.” Chris said before ending the call just before JC came back out of the bathroom.

 

Joey looked at Lance, confused. “What is it?”

 

“You ready to head back to the hospital?” Lance shrugged as he helped Joey back into the car.

 

These past few days have been a real ball buster for everyone and Lance had hoped that after they saw JC in the hospital, things would start to turn around.

“Chris, stop!” JC did his best to wrestle with the smaller man but his energy levels were still low since waking up in the hospital earlier that day. “Just let me get it!”

 

“Sit down, Chasez!” Chris tried not to add any extra force to JC’s left side as he struggled to keep the guy from standing up. “I’ll get you the damn water myself.”

 

JC finally gave up but not without punching Chris on the arm. He pushed the button on the remote that was supposed to notify his nurse that he needed a drink but he couldn’t wait long enough for her to finish up with another patient. The doctor specifically told JC to stay in bed and to not move around as much. He had no idea that Chris had made a stern to decision to make sure JC followed the rules.

 

“You want ice?” Chris didn’t face JC as he held the door open.

 

JC only nodded and he was left alone in his hospital room. The only sound was coming from the dialogue that the newscasters were holding. JC watched as he heard stories of liquor store robberies, poverty, starvation, and kidnappings. He laughed to himself thinking about how he was the one who brought his own negativity into his would be lavish life while other people around the world either encountered or were born with things that made their lives unfortunate.

 

He licked his lips, feeling that they were chapped. His tongue was parched and he wondered why Chris was taking so long. Leaning back into his pillow, he closed his eyes and thought about his current situation. His career was crap, he’d stabbed one of his best friends, and he’d messed up his health. Nothing was going well for him. He thought about Joey might’ve been doing.

 

Chris avoided every question JC threw at him about Joey. He either answered JC’s questions with another question of his or changed the subject altogether as if he didn’t hear JC ask anything. It bothered JC to no end but he eventually dropped it, thinking that Chris wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

 

***

 

“Christopher!” Lance called out as he ran towards Chris, leaving Joey walking slowly behind him. “How’s Josh, is he okay?”

 

“He’s a pain in the ass.” Chris mumbled.

 

“That’s great, good to know he and I are both alive. Thanks for leaving me back there, buddy.” Joey patted Lance’s shoulder. Lance placed his hand on top of Joey’s and smiled at him apologetically.

 

The two men followed Chris through the winding hallways as he directed them to JC’s room. “Why were you all the way out here?” Lance asked.

 

“He needed water so I said I’d get it for him.”

 

“Isn’t there a vending machine in the lobby on his floor?” Lance raised an eyebrow, noticing the cold bottled water Chris was holding.

 

“Uh huh, just needed an excuse to be out of his face long enough. If it was Christmas, we’d be calling him Mr. Scrooge.” Chris replied, opening the bottled water and taking a sip for himself. “Ba-humbug.”

 

Joey took note of how Chris’ usual liveliness was lacking today. He assumed that watching JC took a lot out of Chris and he became concerned of just exactly how bad JC’s condition was. He figured that if he could tire out Chris, then JC must have been a lot crabbier than he used to be. All those years in tour buses with JC trying to simmer Chris down always ended up with Chris just as nuts as ever while JC knocked out on the couch, tired of trying to get Chris to shut up and stop moving. “You look like you got the wind knocked out of you, old man.” Joey joked.

 

Chris glared at him. “I’d punch you in the gut if only you didn’t have that stab wound.”

 

“Thanks for going along with my favor. If it weren’t for you, we probably would’ve found Josh a lot later.”

 

“Like you said, it was your favor.” Chris shrugged.

 

“Does Justin know about anything that’s been happening?” Lance interjected.

 

“Funny you should mention him.” Joey grinned.

 

Chris and Lance stopped walking to look at their friend who was smiling at the both of them. Chris’ brow furrowed. He knew that look. Lance groaned, knowing what was about to come next.

 

Chris opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Joey. “God, not another –.”

 

“Fellas, I’ve got a favor to ask you.” Joey exclaimed.

 

***

 

JC heard the door open and immediately sat up in bed. “How long does it take you to get a glass of –.” He stopped short of his words when he saw Joey walk through the door with a bottle of water.

 

He grabbed the bottle but forgot all about his thirst as he watched Joey navigate through the room, deciding on a place to sit. Joey had his hand where his wound was, JC noticed that he had a slight limp on the side where he was stabbed. It was probably his way of not exerting too much force while he walked. Joey got himself situated in the recliner until he was comfortable before turning to look at JC.

 

“What are you smiling about?” JC asked.

 

“Nothing. Just glad to be alive.” Joey retorted, still smiling.

 

JC let out a sigh and kicked himself mentally for talking to Joey that way. He was lucky Joey still even talked to him. “I..  I’m sorry, Joe. I really am. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something worse happened to you.” He apologized.

 

Joey gave him a thumbs up and let him know that everything was fine between them. He surprised himself with how forgiving he was being to a man that had stabbed him just a few days prior. If it would’ve been anyone else, he’d have them in jail the same day.

 

“How could you be so chipper?” JC raised an eyebrow.

 

“Don’t hate me for saying this but something tells me that your condition is worse. I’m sorry too, by the way. For being in your business when I shouldn’t have been.”

 

“Yeah, shit happens.”

 

“Don’t have to tell me, twice.” Joey pretended to be in pain and laughed when JC sat up to make sure that he was fine and that he wasn’t bleeding out again.

 

“Ass.” JC grunted. “Where’s Chris?”

 

“I asked him for a favor.”

 

“What, you hungry? You can eat that stuff; I wasn’t feeling up to it.” JC pointed at his untouched meal that nutrition services brought to his room. “Chris did his best to shove it down my throat but I won.”

 

“No thanks, I’ve had enough hospital food. Go easy on Chris, he’s just looking out for you.”

 

“I thought I was the one out of all of us who gave out lectures on being sensible people.” JC chuckled as he leaned back in his bed.

 

Joey liked to see his friend happy. It was something that felt new since the last few times he’s seen JC, he’d been extremely irritable. They watched TV for a while, neither saying anything to each other.

Joey’s eyes started to droop when he was startled by his ringtone. “Talk to me,” he answered.

 

“We’re coming up,” Lance said, “And we’ve got him.”

 

“Right, see you in a bit.” Joey hit end call and grinned as he put his phone away.

 

JC waited for Joey to explain why he was so happy and glared at him when he didn’t even bother to say anything. “Is that a woman I should be telling Kelly about?”

 

“No need. It’s an ugly woman.” Joey laughed.

 

JC was still confused. He’d thought that Joey had lost his mind with how much he was smiling to himself. He watched as Joey struggled to get up from the recliner.

 

“Damn chairs,” Joey grunted. “Josh, there’s someone just out side that I’d like you to meet.”

 

“You’re setting me up with an ugly woman? What, is this your way of getting back at me for stabbing you?”

 

“You’ve got nowhere to go so just promise me you’ll talk to her without getting all pissy.” Joey stepped out of the door before JC had a chance to answer.

 

He waited impatiently for Joey to come back with an ‘ugly woman’ but frowned when he saw someone who was definitely not Joey or Chris or Lance… or an ugly woman. JC looked in every direction but the man’s, hoping to avoid having to make eye contact.

 

“How you holding up, Josh?” Justin said while trying to keep a positive tone.

 

He hated seeing JC like this. Especially since he knew part of the reason why JC was here was because of his anger towards Justin’s decision to go solo. As much as he prayed for JC to get over it, it just wasn’t happening. He’d hopped in Chris’ car as soon as he found out about what’s been happening. He prayed that this plan they had would finally steer JC back in the right direction.

 

After JC didn’t respond, Justin walked haphazardly to the recliner, pulling the level to let his feet up. “Feels good to be off my feet.” He sighed.

 

“I wouldn’t know.” JC grunted.

 

Justin bit his lip, the small talk was no use. This was going to be harder than he thought. It was as if JC was set on keeping things miserable between them. He’d said sorry so many times before, he didn’t know what else JC wanted from him. “Talk to me, man. What’s happening with us?”

 

“You know damn well what’s happening. Did all the camera flashes erase your memory or are you that dense?” JC crossed his arms. He hated Joey, Chris, and Lance for bringing Justin to the hospital. He figured that they should have known that Justin was the last person he wanted to see. But here he was, lounging in the recliner next to his bed.

 

“Josh…”

 

“Unless you can go back in time and fix what you’ve done, you have no business talking to me.”

 

Justin gripped onto the arm rests of the recliner. He was quickly losing his patience. He didn’t want it to always be like this. JC was like a brother to him and he hated the tension between them. “You know what? I used to feel bad. I used to think that I was the reason why your life was crap. But I just realized that I have nothing to be sorry for. The rest of the guys were completely supportive and understanding, why can’t you? I’m enjoying my life and I love the way it is. Yeah, the split wasn’t planned but that’s life. You can’t always be planning things, Josh. And if you really wanted to continue with NSYNC, then you could’ve gone on without me. The four of you could’ve held your own. I was just one guy. I don’t know if you remember but it was also the guys’ decision to not continue. So you can’t be blaming all this shit on me. The guys are living great, happy lives. I didn’t tell you fuck your life up, you did that all on your own. So why should I sit here and be sorry for a guy who doesn’t even put our friendship first?”

 

“Exactly, friendship! You kicked us to the curb when you went solo. It’s like all those years of being together, like family, didn’t mean anything to you. You even rode out your drama with Britney to add the press of your album release. That’s pretty fucking selfish!” JC retorted. He sat up but was abruptly stopped by the sudden pain that was coming back in his left side.

 

“Fuck you, Chasez.”

 

“Fuck you too, Timberlake.”

 

***

 

“Well, that doesn’t sound good.” Chris pulled his ear away from the door. The three men were just outside, listening to the banter that was going on in the room.

 

Joey frowned, he had hoped that putting them in a room together would tear down whatever walls were built between Justin and JC. But hearing them yell at each other shot his hopes down from 100 to 10. “This has to work, I’m tired of this shit.”

 

“Those two are probably the most hardheaded out of all of us… you and Chris are on another level though.” Lance smirked before taking a sip of his coffee. “I don’t think sticking them in a room together would do any good. I bet it’ll just ignite the flame even more.”

 

Chris grimaced as he studied Joey rubbing his wound. “Dude, it’s gonna bleed if you keep playing with it.”

 

“The bandages are itchy.” Joey explained.

 

“Do you guys think we played a role in JC’s fuck ups? You know… since we didn’t continue with singing together.” Wrinkles had shown up on Chris’ forehead as he thought about the possibility of being responsible for how JC was acting. He still couldn’t believe that JC had stabbed Joey.

 

“We’re not responsible for anything. Josh made his own decisions that we were completely out of.” Lance snapped. “He’s not our puppet, we can’t control him.”

 

***

 

“We can’t keep doing this. When are you going to forgive me?” Justin asked softly. The back and forth banter he was having with JC was emotionally draining for him.

 

“Get out.” JC refused to listen to any more of Justin’s apologies and explanations.

 

Justin rubbed his face and let out a deep breath. He walked to the edge of JC’s bed and sat down, trying to get JC to look at him. “I remember when I got a call from management. They told me Chris was looking to start a band. I had the biggest grin on my face, I took the opportunity as soon as it was thrown at my face.”

 

JC looked at Justin and raised an eyebrow, not sure with where he was going with his comment. He just watched as Justin continued.

 

“I was so excited. All I could think about was getting rich and famous. I got all of that. But you know what made everything so valuable? It wasn’t the fame or the money.” He paused to look at JC but continued to speak when he didn’t say anything. “There was another part of the offer that management failed to include in their benefits spiel. And that was the fact that if I took that offer, I would be given four brothers. You guys made everything so fucking awesome. Chris and Joey were annoying but I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without them. To be honest, I should be thanking Chris for giving all of us the opportunity to sing around the world as a family. I won’t ever forget about NSYNC. It’s where I came from. That’s why I wanted you guys to perform with me at the VMA’s. I wouldn’t be who I am today without all of you.”

 

JC was speechless. Hearing Justin become so appreciative of the things he thought he took for granted was like a slap to the face. JC no longer knew what he was so angry about. The list of reasons in his head as to why Justin was a piece of shit vanished. He felt like an idiot for letting things spiral the way they did.

 

“I’m sorry about your career, man. But that doesn’t give you the right to fuck yourself over. You’ve got four brothers who worry about you. It probably doesn’t seem like it since we all have our own things going on, but we’re all here for each other. Don’t give up man, there’s still a ton of stuff out there you can do.”

 

For the first time in a long time, JC finally felt at ease. He couldn’t understand why that out of all the conversations he’s had with Justin about the topic, it was this one that gave him relief. He heard the sincerity in Justin’s voice as he explained his thoughts. It felt good to know that Justin still appreciated them as much as he said he did. It definitely lessened the pain and anger in JC’s heart.

 

“I’m sorry, Justin. I wasn’t ready to leave NSYNC, I had nothing planned for what would happen after. Everything went downhill for me. I couldn’t get any record deals, for some reason my fan-base wasn’t strong enough, I missed performing… I missed people enjoying the music I made for them. Then I saw you basking in success and the only way for me to feel better about it all was to blame you for everything. It was easier that way.” Tears dotted the corner of JC’s eyes. He’d felt like a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders.

 

“I’ve got something I want to ask you and I really hope you at least think about it.” Justin checked JC’s face for any reason for him to not ask but after seeing JC nod, we ahead and spoke. “I was thinking of asking you to work with me on my next album… write some songs, produce them, even sing some with me. I know it’s probably not the type of solo career you want but I’m hoping it helps you get your foot in the door. But you gotta get back on your feet and cut the drinking and stabbing crap.”

 

JC couldn’t help but let a few tears fall. The man whom he had spited for the past few years was kind enough to offer him a chance at success again. He wasn’t sure that he would’ve done the same if he was in Justin’s position. “That sounds like fun.”

 

The two shook hands and was in the middle of patting each other in the back when the other three walked in and smiled at the sight.

 

“Thank God.”

 

“Whew!”

 

“Finally!”

 

The three men spoke. Justin and JC held out their arms to include Chris, Joey, and Lance in a group hug. It was like old times again. JC once again enjoyed the company of all his brothers. Not jealous of any of them. He felt tears dot his face as he hugged them tighter.

JC sang the lyrics he wrote for Justin’s album with same amount of effort and fervor he put into writing it. It was seven months after he and Justin had reconciled. He was sober for all seven months and he’d never felt better. It was great working with Justin again and he was excited to see the feedback the new album would receive.

 

Justin clapped as JC belted out the last verse of the song. “Damn, dude that was fucking great! You sure that’s meant for a duet? You could sing that all by yourself!”

 

“You think people would like it?” JC said, giving himself a mental pat on the back.

 

“People are gonna love it, dawg.”

 

***

 

The crowd was screaming. JC and Justin were behind the curtain and in any minute they would be walking out on stage to greet the audience. JC could feel his heart thumping against the walls of his chest. The rush was back. As soon as one of the crew members open the curtains, he all but ran and left Justin has he took in the cheers from the audience. He could hear his name being called out in all directions. It was like he absorbed the energy of the crowd as he raised his mic to sing the first verse. He had a huge smile on his face. He’d missed this so much.