Noah looked out the window, watching as the snowstorm continued in full-force.  It was early afternoon, but the dark clouds and heavy snowfall made it feel like midnight.  The thirteen year-old ran a hand through his light brown locks as he took a seat next to his sister on the sofa.  Sarah yawned, having the novelty of a snowy day at home wear off hours ago.  The fifteen year-old put down the magazine she had been idly flipping through in frustration.  Their father looked up from his seat in the winged-back chair in the corner, where he had busied himself with reading the newspaper. 

“Dad, we’re bored…” Noah sighed, toying with one of the throw pillows on the sofa.

He put the newspaper down in response, looking at his children over the frames of his glasses.  “Alright, you guys are old enough now.  I am going to tell you the story of how I met your mother.”

Sarah crossed her arms, “I’ve heard that story already!”

Noah nodded, “Yes, you told us that one.”

“Sure, you’ve heard the short story.  But there’s a long version and it’s important that you both hear the whole story.”

“Is this going to take a while?” Sarah asked, toying with her ponytail.

“Well, seeing as there is a blizzard outside and both of you are running out of means of entertainment, this seems like the perfect time to tell the whole story.”

Noah nods, “Okay, Dad.  Let’s hear it…”

“Alright, here we go.  Once upon a time, before I was ‘Dad,’ I had this whole other life.  I was ‘Justin Timberlake: Single Guy.’  It was back in the beginning of 2011.  You see, 2010 had been an amazing year for me.  My movie career was really starting to take off and I was riding the wave of success and buzz from The Social Network.  Oscar season was going to strike soon and I was consumed with working on several films, as well as projects with my restaurants, the clothing line and Tennman Records.  Things were really starting to fall into place for me.”  

 Noah chuckled a little, “Really, Dad?  Starting? I think you had quite a few successes well before 2010…”

“True.  Life was good and life had been good.  I was busy living between the house in Los Angeles and the apartment in New York City when I wasn’t on location.  Anyway, it was right after New Year’s when everything changed.  It was a brisk January night when your Uncle Josh went and screwed everything up.”

“Uncle Josh?  He’s the most responsible adult I have ever met,” Sarah said, with surprise.

Justin chuckled, “Yes.  Uncle Josh is a very reliable guy, but back at the start of 2011 he had just made a life-changing decision for all of us…” 

“You see, Uncle Josh – well we still called him JC back then.  Now, JC had been the quintessential bachelor.  He was the first to admit that music was his first love and he had found himself completely disinterested in relationships altogether.  He was satisfied being married to his work up until he met Whitney…”

“Wait, how did Uncle Josh meet Aunt Whitney?”

“We’ll get to that.  That’s another story…anyway; it was a brisk January night when my phone rang…”

**

“Hey Jace, what’s good?” I said into the receiver of my cell-phone. 

“Justin, I’m glad I caught you.  Look, I’ve got big news – big news,” he said, with a nervous tone.

“Is everything okay?”  JC wasn’t one for small-talk.  In fact, he was the kind of friend you would have to keep after to stay in communication with.  So him calling out of the blue meant something very important. 

“Yeah…it’s better than okay…it’s great…I’ve decided that I’m proposing to Whitney.”

My eyes widened a little and I felt my mouth go dry.  It made sense, actually it made complete sense.  JC and Whitney were one of those perfect couples; the kind of couple where everything makes sense and they bring out the best in one another.  The kind of couple that would make you a little nauseous and envious if they weren’t both such great people. 

“Well, say something Justin…I’m freaking out a little…I’m planning on doing this tonight and I could use some support here…”

“JC,” I smiled, “You’re making the best decision of your life.  She loves you, she’ll say yes.  You guys are great together.”

“Alright, thanks for the pep talk.  Now, distract me for a bit because I am crazy nervous right now.  What are you doing tonight?”

And that’s when it hit me – what was I doing?  Here Uncle Josh was taking the biggest step of his life – the last one I expected to move to the next level.  And me?  I’m going out for another night at another bar in the same singles scene.  “I’m going out tonight – hit a bar or two.”

“Okay, have fun tonight.  Enjoy the single life,” JC chuckles on the other end of the line. 

“Hey, congratulations man.”

“Just save the congratulations for after she says yes,” he says cautiously.

“JC, she is going to say yes!”

We quickly say goodbye as I note that there is another call coming through and I sigh as I answer the call.

“Hey, so you know how I’ve always had a thing for models?” Trace asks. 

“Okay…go on…”

“Well, I have a new favorite.  Swimsuit models.  They are like the cream of the crop because they have those model looks but then they also have that whole athleticism thing going for them.”

“Really?  I don’t even know how I could tell the difference,” I said, shaking my head. 

“Trust me – they are bikini-licious.”

“Listen, JC is getting engaged tonight.  He just called me.  I can hardly believe it.  You wanna-“

“Meet me at the bar in half an hour,” he said, all business and hung up before I could confirm.

**

“You know what’s weird?  When JC told me he was going to propose to Whitney, I felt like my mind went blank.  I think it’s because if I try to picture proposing to someone I just cannot come up with who it would be to.  I just haven’t met that person yet.  And meanwhile he’s a million steps ahead of me.”

“Ah, I see.  JC gets engaged and all of a sudden you're having your period,” Trace says, shaking his head as he waves the waitress down for another beer.

“Very funny.  I know, just because my best friend is getting married doesn’t mean I need to right now,” I said, tapping my fingers on the table, as if saying the words aloud would make me somehow believe them.

“I thought I was your best friend.  Justin, say I’m your best friend,” he said, crossing his arms.

“You’re my best friend, Trace.  It’s just that JC is one of my best friends.  I’ve known him for a long time.  And now his life is taking a completely different direction,” I held my beer bottle in my left hand while I toyed with the coaster on the table with my right.

“Enough with the marriage talk.  As your best friend, I suggest we play a little game called Have ya met Justin?”

“What?  No, we’re not playing that game,” I said with an eye roll, taking another sip.  Unfortunately Trace had already stood up from the table and tapped the shoulder of the nearest woman.  She turned around and he said the infamous phrase…

“Hi, have ya met Justin?”  And just like that, a gorgeous leggy blonde had sat down across from me in the booth and Trace had disappeared. 

“Hi, I’m Olivia,” she said, extending her hand.

“So, what do you do, Olivia?” I asked, putting my drink down.

“Oh, I’m a model.  A swimsuit model, actually,” she said.  Sometimes your Uncle Trace was right.  Sometimes.  We were making small talk when I felt my phone vibrating.  There was a new text message signal…

*Better start planning that bachelor party, best man! 

I smiled to myself.

“Justin, would you mind if we got our picture with you?” she said.

I looked up, raising my eyebrow.   “We?”  It was then that I looked over to see that the burly bartender had come over to the table.

“Yes, my boyfriend Donny and I.  We just love your music,” she said, motioning to him.  She asked one of the waitresses to take our picture and pulled out her camera.  I sighed as I shifted for the picture and smiled through the flash.  “Thanks so much,” she said and then she left the table with Donny, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

Trace returned to the table, a mischievous grin on his face.  “What were you thinking, putting the moves on the bartender’s girlfriend?”

I cocked my head at him, “Very funny.”

“Seriously Justin, you are too young to be getting married anyway.  Stop over thinking about this – it’s hurting your game!  This is completely weakening your role as my trusty wingman.”

“You’re right.  JC’s a little bit older than me and besides, the big difference is that he’s found the love of his life.  Even if I really felt like I was ready, it’s like, okay.  I’m ready – where is she?” I stood up from the table, wanting to stretch my legs. 

“She’s at least another five years away,” Trace said, taking another swig of his beer.

My eyes slowly wandered around the room…and there she was…it was one of those old romantic movie moments.  The crowd of people parted, so that she and I made perfect eye contact from across the room.  She turned to say something to one of her friends and I looked over at Trace. 

“Hey Trace, see that girl over there,” I said, taking the opportunity to nudge him. 

“What?  Oh, yes, that babe is a ten, ten and a half.  Wait a minute, I think I know her.  How do I know her?” he scratched his head.  Before I could think of a well-executed plan he swiftly approached her and pulled another classic Trace, “Have ya met Justin?”  She smiled and Trace disappeared once again.

“Hi, I’m Justin,” I said, nervously extending my hand.

“So I hear,” she said with a bright smile and a light laugh.  She flipped her dark brown hair over her shoulder and the more she spoke, the giddier I felt.  Suddenly one of her friends came over, whispering in her ear.

She turned to me.  “Justin, I’m sorry but I really have to get going.  It was very nice meeting you.”

“I…have dinner with me Friday night?” I offered in a moment of weakness.

“What?” she looked at me like she hadn’t heard me correctly.

“Would you have dinner with me?  Friday night?” I asked again.

“I’m actually going to be traveling this weekend with some friends,” she said.

“Okay, what about tomorrow night?” I asked.  I could feel the desperation in my voice, but I was unable to stop myself.

She smiled, but looked like she was seriously weighing her options before she spoke up.  “Sure, what the hell.”  She wrote down her number on a coaster, handed it to me and we said goodnight. 

I looked down at the number in my hands, feeling more sure about this girl than anything in a long time.  Sure about it until Trace came over and clumsily spilled his drink all over me. 

“Trace!” I yelled with frustration.

He stumbled, apologizing and picked up the coaster I had dropped.  “What’s this?” he asked, about ready to hand it to the waitress to throw out.

“That’s my future wife’s digits,” I said sharply, sticking my hand out to take it back from him.

He made a face as he handed it back to me.  It was dripping with beer and the ink had bled out all over, ruining any chance I had for salvaging her number.  “Sorry bro, I’ll go get another seven digits for you.”  He tapped the girl next to us, “Hey, have ya met Justin?”

I shook my head at him and headed out of the bar, determined to call it a night. 

**

“I mean, I thought I’d never have a chance to see that girl again.  But that’s the funny thing about destiny – it happens whether or not you plan on it.  Because that kids, is the true story of how I met my good friend Alexia Lawson.  You know, Aunt Alexia.”

 “Aww, Dad,” Noah said, smacking the pillow beside him.

Sarah stared at him blankly, “I thought this was how you met Mom?”

“Will you relax?  I’m getting to it.  Like I said…it’s a long story…”

“Alright, now where was I?” Justin asked his children, returning to their seating area with mug of coffee for himself and cocoa for them. 

Noah lightly blew on the top of the drink, preparing to take a sip.  “You were telling us about how you met Mom.”

“With agonizing detail!” Sarah said, crossing her arms with impatience.

“Right…so back in 2011, one of my best friends had gotten engaged and it really made me start thinking that it was time that I should be married.  That’s when I met Alexia…but after asking her out, I lost her number thanks to your Uncle Trace…”

**

I was determined to find Alexia again – and the thought of not being able to keep plans with her was driving me insane.  The two main problems were that I no longer had her phone number and that I did not know her last name.  This was going to make it very difficult to track her down and keep our dinner date.  So, I did the only thing I could think of.  I decided to go back to that same bar the following night and wait for her.  All I could do was hope that there was a chance she might end up returning to the same place.  Or, maybe there would be someone else there that knew who she was that could steer me in the right direction. 

So, here I was back at that same bar on Thursday night, waiting to see if there would be any chance would could reconnect and keep our dinner plans that night.  Now, of course, Trace insisted on tagging along. 

“I cannot even believe you asked her out like that,” Trace said, shaking his head at me.

I broke focus on scanning the room to meet his judgmental gaze, “I liked her, I asked her out, plain and simple.  Come to think of it, if you hadn’t been a total mess and poured your beer all over me, I’d still have her number and Alexia and I would be finishing dinner right now.”

Trace waved his hand dismissively, “No – that was fate’s doing, not mine.  You broke the cardinal rule of dating and that is why fate has denied you the opportunity for a date with this dream woman tonight.”

“What do you mean, the cardinal rule?” I scratched the back of my head. 

“Alright Bro, here’s Lesson #2,” he said, excitement in his eyes.  He always looked revved up when he thought he was going to give me some life advice…thought…

“Wait, what do you mean Lesson #2?  What was Lesson #1?” I rolled my eyes.

“Lesson #1 was all about navigating the singles world with your trusty wingman.  The wingman is the key element is setting yourself up for pickup success in any situation,” he said.  “Now, Lesson #2.  When you get a chick’s number you have got to wait at least ninety-six hours before calling her.”

“Ninety-six hours?  Four days?”  I threw my hands up with exasperation.  Where did Trace come up with this crap?

“Yes, at least four days.  Anything earlier than that is just pure simple desperation,” he smiled, with a look of satisfaction.  “Now, since you got that girl’s digits after already committing to seeing her the next night you are doubly breaking the rule.  You should not have asked her out before you snatched her digits and you shoulda waited another four days, minimum, to call her about going out.”

“So, rather than ask her out in the here and now I should have made no plans and acted disinterested, playing games before another four days where I could call her and see if I could squeeze her in?” I asked, the sarcasm evident.

“Whatever, Bro.  I am telling you – this is karmic.  You broke the Bro code and now here we are suffering the consequences, waiting for mystery girl.  I am sure we can find you another chick here and this time I will put her number into my phone so you do not lose it and I will fork over the number in another ninety-six hours.”  He started taking inventory of all the women in a ten-foot radius, ready to pounce.

“Trace, you just don’t get it.”

“You’re Justin-Freakin’-Timberlake!  Why are you spending your night looking for one girl, you can have any girl!”

“That’s just it Trace,” I said, leaning in so that he’d pay attention, “I don’t have trouble meeting girls.  I have trouble meeting the right girls.  And Alexia is the girl…”

Of course, there was no sign of Alexia that night at the bar.  She had said that she was travelling for the weekend, so I knew better than to poach the same bar for the remainder of the weekend.  But I just could not get this girl out of my head. 

**

I was tired of the same old singles routine, so I decided to call JC for a change of pace.  Maybe spending time with a couple would help me gain some valuable insight that Trace was not equipped to offer.

“Hey Justin, how are you?” he said.

“I’m doing alright – things are busy, but I could use a night off from the normal routine.  Are you in Los Angeles?”

“Yeah, actually I am at home waiting for Whitney.  She’s flying back from New York so she’ll be here in a few hours.  Why don’t you come over?  We can hang out and I’m sure Whitney would like to see you when she gets in.”

“Alright, I’ll come by in a little while.”

**

I knocked on the door and JC eagerly opened it, giving me a pat on the back.  “Justin, it’s so great to see you,” he said, with a big grin.

“Come here, you old soon-to-be-married fella!” pulling him into a half-hug.  I followed him inside, closing the door behind me. 

He motioned to the living room, “I’ve got the game on,” he said.  I nodded, heading over to the large sofa and planting myself in front of the television.  He returned from the kitchen a few moments later with two beers.  He settled down comfortably on the sofa, checking his watch. 

“What time is she supposed to arrive?” I asked, knowingly.

He smiled sheepishly, “She should be here in about an hour or so.  I know she was just gone for the weekend, but it feels like an eternity to me.  We have been doing the coast-hopping thing for so long with work, but now it’s different…now that she’s my fiancée I just want to spend that much more time with her.  Is that crazy?”

I smiled in awe of how genuinely entranced with her he was.  JC was truly deserving of the happiness he had found.  “I don’t think it’s crazy.  I think the fact that you want to spend that much more time with her now that you are planning to spend the rest of your lives together is a pretty good sign.”

“I know...it’s funny, I never expected to feel this way about anyone.  But, it’s the best feeling that there ever was,” he took a sip of his beer.  “How about you?  Are you enjoying bachelor-hood?”

I sighed.  “Well, I met the future Mrs. Justin Timberlake and she’s perfect.”

“That’s amazing, when do I get to meet her?”

“I have to find her again, first,” I said.  He raised his eyebrow with confusion.  “I met this great girl the other night.  Long story short, I ended up losing her number and now I have no way of finding her again.”

JC tapped his chin thoughtfully, “Well, she must know who you are, right?  So, if it’s meant to be, maybe she’ll try to find you.  Right?”

I hadn’t thought about that.  Maybe, if I was so determined to find her she might be out there trying to find me, too.  Before I could continue thinking, I heard my phone ringing.  I rolled my eyes as I picked it up, awaiting Trace’s voice on the other end.

“Justin, tonight we’re going to go out to a new spot and we’re going to meet some new ladies.  It’s going to be legendary!”

I had no idea why I hung out with Trace.  

“Trace, I’m actually at JC’s now…” I said.  JC chuckled to himself at the mention of Trace’s name. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up from there, I’m on the road now,” he said. 

“No, Trace, not tonight…”

“Tell JC he’s coming, too!”

I turned to JC, “Trace wants to kidnap the both of us.”  I put the phone on speaker. 

He laughed, “Ah, I wish I could.  I think Whitney and I are just going to…”

“I understand.  Justin, you’re coming out with me.”

“Wait, what?  Why can JC just say no, but when I say it you don’t listen?”

“Uh, because JC’s getting laid.”

I looked over at JC, a half-smile appearing on his lips.  “Consistently.”

“Look, Justin, I’m almost there now.  We can debate this in person, but you’re ultimately going to give in and get in my car and go out, so why not call it a draw now and get ready for a legendary night!” Trace said.  He hung up before I could respond. 

**

Trace arrived shortly thereafter and settled in the living room, watching the remainder of the football game with us.  He had agreed to let me greet Whitney to congratulate her before we would head out. 

“I’m trying to remember the last time I saw Whitney,” he said.

“It has definitely been a while.  I think the last time you and her saw each other was probably at my birthday party,” JC said, reaching for a few chips out of the bowl on the coffee table.

“Right, your birthday party,” Trace said, nodding.  His mind seemed to be wandering.  I sighed, knowing I had missed that party because of a press junket. 

JC shot up from the sofa, a goofy grin on his face.  “I hear the car in the driveway!”  He bolted out of the room, heading back out the front door and running out into the driveway. 

“Gee, you’d think he hadn’t seen her in weeks,” I said with a laugh.

Now would have been the perfect time for Trace to make some joke about marriage and relationships.  I waited for him, but he remained silent.  I turned to see what had distracted him. 

“JC’s birthday party,” he whispered to himself.

Before I could ask him what he was fixated on, Whitney came in through the door.  JC followed her, carrying her bags.  “Josh, put them down,” she said, opening her arms.  He quickly dropped the bags, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a dramatic kiss.  Trace cleared his throat with annoyance, so the two pulled apart in response.  Whitney smiled as she spotted me.  “Justin, how are you?  Come here!”  I obeyed, giving her a hug.  She kissed me on the cheek.  “Oh, and you brought Trace.  Have you been behaving yourself?” she asked with a laugh as she gave him a hug. 

He laughed, “You know me.  Just being awesome.”

“Honey, can you help us with the rest of the luggage?” she said, linking her arms into JC’s.  He nodded, following her back out to the driveway.

“Us?” I asked, aloud. 

“JC’s birthday party!  JC’s birthday party!” Trace started yelling. 

“What is wrong with you?  Are you having a psychotic episode?” I said, smacking him on the back of the head. 

JC came back inside with more bags.  The woman had only been gone for two nights.  I mean, really.  I heard Whitney outside the front door having a conversation with another woman.  In an instant, Whitney walked back inside the house, with a familiar gorgeous woman in tow. 

“This is Trace and this is Justin,” Whitney said, motioning to the two of us.  She smiled wide, “And boys, this is one of my best friends and my maid of honor-“

“-Alexia!” I said, letting out a breath of shock. 

She and I locked eyes for a moment, a smile forming on her face.  Whitney cocked her head slightly, unsure of how we knew each other.  “Alexia, have you met Justin?”

“Nice to see you again,” she said with a wink.  “Whitney, could you show me where the restroom is?”  Whitney nodded, leading Alexia down the hall. 

Trace looked at his watch and held out a hand for a high-five.  “Ninety-seven hours!  Ninety-seven hours!”  I shook my head as JC looked on, total confusion written on his face. 

 “JC,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder, once the girls were out of earshot.  He turned and looked at me with confusion.  “Remember this night.  When you are the best man at our wedding and you are about to give your speech, you are going to tell this story.”

Trace punched me in the arm.  “Why does he get to be the best man?  I’m your best friend!”

**

Noah scrunched his nose with confusion.  “Dad, I thought you said you were going to tell Sarah and me how you met Mom.”

“It’s Sarah and I,” Justin said, shaking his head as he corrected Noah’s grammar.

“But I don’t get it.  What does meeting Aunt Alexia have to do with Mom?” Sarah asked.

“Right now this is a piece of the puzzle, trust me, the story is getting there,” he said.  “Now, where was I?”

**

While I waited for Alexia to return to the living room, I quickly caught JC up to speed on her and how she was the woman I had met earlier in the week. 

He nodded with amazement at the coincidences.  “Well, it’s just so funny that you two met like that.  Maybe it’s meant to be.”  He immediately stopped talking and cleared his throat as he felt the return of the two women into the room.  He pulled Whitney by the arm, leading her over to the sofa.  Alexia smiled watching them, as I nervously stood next to her. 

“Look, Alexia, about the other night…” I said, clasping my hands together.

“You know, don’t worry about it Justin.  It’s really not a big deal,” she said, brushing me off.

“No, it is a big deal.  I lost your number.”

She gave me a look of doubt.  “Riiight.”

“No, seriously.  Trace spilt his beer all over it and so I lost it, right Trace?” I said, nudging his shoulder from his spot on the couch.

“What, Bro?” he asked, irritated he was being distracted from the game.

“Didn’t you spill your beer all over Alexia’s number?”

“Yes, I did,” he said, nodding to Alexia.  “Now, can I watch the game in peace?”

“Please, let me make it up to you.  Let’s go out to dinner, tomorrow night?” I offered.

She sighed, “Alright.  I do admire your persistence.”

“Where do you live?” I asked. 

“Oh…the Upper East Side,” she said with a laugh.

“I didn’t realize you lived in New York.  Where are you staying?”

She pointed outside, to the small structure past the swimming pool.  “Oh, I’m staying at a ritzy hotel.  It’s called JC’s guest house.”  She said goodnight and headed out the patio door, past the pool area.

“Justin, I just want to point something out to you,” Trace said, looking up. 

I reluctantly sat down next to him.  “What’s that?”

“Well, here is Lesson #3.  A Bro doesn’t let another Bro get married until he’s at least thirty.  Now, your birthday is fast approaching,” he said, pointing his finger at me. 

“Yes, I know, the big 3-0,” I sighed.

“Right, well just don’t go doin’ anything foolish up until then.  Alright?  I’m going to keep that rule alive and well, so don’t go and do something stupid like propose to this chick.  Alright?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, thank you all-mighty-Trace!”

He looked over at Whitney and JC.  “By the way, did I congratulate you two?”

Whitney snatched  a pillow and threw it at his head in response. 

**

The next night, I picked up Alexia.  We headed off to a little bistro restaurant in West Hollywood. 

Meanwhile, JC and Whitney had decided to celebrate their engagement with some alone time at the house. 

“Oh, look what I’ve got,” he said, revealing a bottle of champagne from behind his back.  He handed her the bottle. 

“Aww, sweetie.  Champagne?” she smiled, handing the bottle back to him.

“Yes,” he said, passing the bottle back off to her.

“No, you are being ridiculous.  You are far too old to be afraid of opening a bottle of champagne!”

“I’m not scared,” he said, placing a hand on his hip.

“Then open it,” she smiled, handing the bottle back over to him once more.

“Fine, I’m scared.  Can you please open it?”

“JC, you are unbelievable,” she said, shaking her head.

He took the bottle, apprehensively.  “Okay, I want to drink a toast with my fiancée.  I have got to man up!”  He slowly started to remove the foil from the top of the bottle.  “Okay, this isn’t so bad.  Pretty easy, right?”

Whitney screamed as the cork popped and clocked her in the eye. 

“Whitney!  I’m so sorry, we’ll go straight to the hospital.  Honey, I’m so sorry,” he said, running a hand over her back as he tried to escort her outside to the car. 

**

After returning to drop her off at JC’s place, I made my way back around the house.  I was ready to slip back into my car when I heard a knocking on the glass of the front door.   JC was standing in the doorway, motioning for me to come inside.  I nodded, heading inside. 

 “Mom and Dad, Alexia is truly the perfect woman.”  I chuckled as I settled into the sofa, a goofy smile on my face.  “Whoa!” I said, taking a look at Whitney’s face.  She was wearing an eye patch.  “What happened to you?”

She sighed, “It’s a long story, and we’ll tell you later.  So how was this date?”

 “JC, how have I always described my dream woman?” I smiled, waiting to see what he remembered. 

He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to recall all the things I had said.  “Well, she likes dogs, drinks tequila and quotes lines from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Oh, and she hates tomatoes!”

“Let me tell you about this girl.  She has three dogs and she ordered a margarita on the rocks with salt.” 

Whitney clapped her hands, “Oh, this is fantastic!”

“But, wait, it gets better.  When I asked her what we were going to do afterwards she said, and I quote ‘The question is not what we’re going to do, but what we’re not going to do.’”

“Classic Cameron Frye line!  Gee, I’m surprised we didn’t think to set these two up before all of this,” JC shook his head with disbelief. 

“And then,” I held up my hands mimicking an orchestra conductor, “She received her salad and asked if I would like her tomatoes because she doesn’t like them,” I sighed with satisfaction, leaning back once again. 

“The tomato theory!” JC high-fived me.  The tomato theory is this theory JC created based around his relationship with Whitney.  She hates them and he loves them.  In some sort of strange logic, JC believes that this somehow makes them a perfectly balanced couple.  “You guys are on, on ‘til the break of dawn!”  He started doing the robot with excitement.  Sometimes he can be a real goofball.

“But, wait,” Whitney said, crossing her arms.  “It’s only 10:30, what happened?”

“Well, I walked her back to the door and then she said, ‘I had a, uh, really great time tonight,’ with this nervous expression.”

JC leaned in with interest, resting his elbow on the armrest of the sofa.  “So, did you kiss her?”

“No, it just didn’t feel right.  This woman might become my future wife.  I want our first kiss to be a really special moment,” I said, with a sigh.

Whitney smiled, “Ah, Justin, that’s just so sweet.  So…” she leaned back, resting her elbow on the top of the couch and leaning her head against it for support.  “So, you chickened out like a little bitch.”

“Whaaat?  I did not!  You know what, I don’t need to be taking dating advice from a pirate who hasn’t been single in years,” I said, crossing my arms. 

“Hey, don’t talk about my pirate fiancée like that,” JC said, defensively.

“Justin, anyone else would tell you the same thing, even the dumbest single person alive.  And if you don’t believe me, dial him up.”  She motioned towards my cell phone and I nodded as I called Trace.

“What up, loser?” he said.

“Trace, I need your opinion on something.”

“Okay, shoot!”

“So these guys think I chickened out with not kissing Alexia, but I didn’t get the signal.  What’s your ruling on that?”

  “The signal?  Have I taught you anything?  You don’t wait for a signal – you just kiss her!”  I could just tell from his tone that he was shaking his head. 

“But what if she didn’t want me to kiss her?”

Whitney and JC both looked at each other, knowing Trace had agreed with them. 

“Well, then at least you could go to bed tonight knowing that you and her are never gonna happen.  You should have kissed her!”

I sighed, hanging up with Trace.  “I should have kissed her.  I’m going to kiss her, right now.”

“Look, dude, it’s a little late and that’s weird.  She thinks you went home by now, if she isn’t already in bed.  As your friend, I feel like it’s my duty to advise you that’s freakin’ crazy!”  JC shook his hand at me, dismissively. 

“I never do anything crazy, ever.  I’m always planning and waiting for the moment,” I said, banging my fist against the table.  “I have got to take this leap in order to fall in love and get married.”

“Kiss her, Justin.  Kiss her good,” Whitney said. 

“Kiss the crap out of that girl!” JC patted me on the back. 

I nodded, talking myself into it as I slipped out of the patio door and made my way around the pool.  I timidly knocked on the door, waiting. 

She opened the door a few moments later.  “Justin?”

“Hey, I was just…uh…” I panicked.

“Come on in,” she said with a smile. 

**

She had put some light music on and we had found ourselves slow dancing together.

“I think I like your dance moves,” she whispered. 

“I think I like your smile,” I said. 

She smiled a little wider as she looked up at me.  “I think I like your eyes.”

“I think I’m in love with you,” I said. 

“What?” she slowly pulled away from me.  I panicked.  I hadn’t realized what I was saying and now it was too late. 

“So, New York.  Do you spend a lot of time in Central Park?  That’s a great Park,” I struggled to change the subject. 

“You love me?” she sat down on the loveseat, looking at me bewildered.

“I can’t believe I just said that,” I said, apologetically.  “Why did I say that?  Who says that?  I think I should just go.”

“Um, okay…” she said, with discomfort.

“Thanks, I love you.  What is wrong with me?”

She stood up and I followed me as I headed for the door. 

“So, when you tell this story to all of your friends, could you just use the word ‘eccentric’ instead of ‘psycho’?” I laughed nervously.

“Goodnight, Psycho,” she said, with a gentle smile.

I started to walk away.  I should have just walked away.  But, I ended up turning around.  I just couldn’t let it go.  “You know what?  I’m done being single.  I’m just not any good at it.  I mean, obviously, you cannot just go around telling a woman you just met that you love her, but that sucks!  And if a woman could bear with me through this whole journey, I know I’d be a great husband and a great father.  Oh, and a great kisser!”

She smiled, “Everyone thinks that they’re a great kisser.”

“Oh, I’ve got a few references,” I said, with a wink.

“Goodnight, Justin,” she said, with a small wave as she shut the door. 

“Whaaat?” both children said in unison.

Sarah sighed, “Oh, Dad!”

“So, then what happened?” Noah asked, eyes wide.

“I mean, I had made a complete fool of myself,” Justin sighed.

**

A few days had gone by.  I had decided to lay low and ride out the storm.  However, JC had called me and wanted me to meet up with him at a little acoustic venue downtown where Whitney and he were listening to live music.  Of course, Trace insisted on tagging along.  We arrived and headed towards the bar where I saw JC leaning, grabbing a drink before making his way back to the booth Whitney had secured for the group. 

“So you didn’t call her?  You went from being in love with her to not even wanting to dial her up?” JC asked, scratching the top of his head. 

“I’m not in love with her, okay?  I am in love with the idea of being in love, of getting married.  This is all your fault!  It doesn’t have anything to do with Alexia,” I said.  Then I saw her, “Alexia!”

“Hey,” she said, softly, sliding out of the booth and sliding her purse over her shoulder.  “Well, I should get going.  It was nice to see you, Justin.”  She waved as she headed through the small crowd.   

“Damn,” I said, as I watched her walk away and slid into the booth.

“What?” Whitney asked.

“I’m in love with her,” I groaned. 

Trace smacked me on the back of my head.  “No!  As your sponsor, I will not allow you to relapse!  You blew it, get over it.”

“I don’t know what it is.  I just have this feeling that she is the future Mrs. Justin Timberlake.”  I eyed Whitney, who seemed to be avoiding eye contact with me.  “Whitney, did she say something about me?  Come on.”

She shook her head, “No, bridesmaid confidentiality.”  She held up her palm in defense.

“Spill it!”

“Fine, I asked her about you and she said, ‘Oh, Justin?  He comes off a little strong, but he’s something else.’”

“Hmm…something else…” I rested my chin in my hand.  “I’m going to say that that’s a good thing.”

“How is that a good thing?” Trace raised his eyebrow.

“Most guys are ‘something,’ I’m ‘something else.’  I’m unique,” I said, smiling.

“Well,” Whitney sighed, “You’re looking for two different things.  You’re looking for something serious and she wants something more…you know…casual.”

“Okay, she wants casual.  I can be casual.  I will be casual,” I nodded my head.

JC put his beer bottle down, “So, are you going to ask her out?”

I crossed my arms.  “No.  I can’t ask her out; that would not be casual.  I need to casually ask her out.  How do I ask her out without asking her out?”

“What are you talking about?  Are you high?” Whitney laughed.

“I got it!  I won’t ask her out.  I’ll invite her to my birthday party!”

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” JC nodded with approval.

“Yes, because nothing says casual like being surrounded by hundreds of celebrities and industry bigwigs in a hotel nightclub!” Trace shook his head.  “Oh, and Whitney?” He motioned to under the table.  “Yeah, that’s my leg.”

She slammed her hands down on the table, “You waited five minutes to tell me that?”

JC chuckled, “Alright, so call her up.”

“No, can’t do that.  Calling is not casual.  Maybe you guys could invite her along?”

“Well, we’re all heading back to New York in a few days.  We’ll come back for your birthday, but Alexia will be in the city,” Whitney said, taking a sip of her drink.

“Okay, I can work with that.  I can be in New York.  Maybe we can have a second party in New York earlier in the week.  You can invite her.  What do you say, Whitney?"

“That’s great Justin, you’re the most casual stalker ever.”

Before I could respond, a server approached the table with a bottle of champagne.  JC smiled, taking the bottle from his hands.  “This is something I have to do,” he said, as he gently popped the cork and started to pour each of us a glass. 

“I am so turned on right now,” Whitney said, her cheeks reddening. 

“To my fiancé,” he said, raising his glass. 

“To the future,” she returned, raising her glass. 

“To being single and awesome,” Trace said. 

“To…keeping it casual…” I smiled, as I raised my glass. 

Everyone clinked their glasses. 

**

JC sat in front of the recording equipment he had set up in a small office in Whitney’s apartment in New York.  He had turned this small space into a temporary office of his own so that he could get more work done while visiting her.  They were planning on getting a place in the city together eventually, but in the meantime Whitney’s sufficed. 

Now, ever since JC had put that ring on her finger, Whitney had been, well, extra affectionate.

“Baby, no,” he shook his head, putting the papers in his hands down.  “I have to finish writing this song.  I need the demo done for tomorrow and I have barely started.  And we have this last-minute Justin party here in a few hours.”

She smiled, “Hey, I’m just sitting here.  Wearing my ring,” she waved her hand, watching the light reflect off of the diamond.  “Makes me not want to wear my shirt anymore.  Or my underwear.”  JC’s eyes lit up as he looked over at her.  “That’s right, I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“No underwear?” he asked, taking a gulp.

“Not even slightly.”

He closed his laptop.  “I suppose this song could wait…”

**

Whitney had agreed to whip up a small NYC birthday party for me, being hosted at her apartment.  JC and her tried to ready the place and put everything together in anticipation of the guests arrivals.  Granted, she had thrown this party together in short notice, so it was questionable as to who would be able to come.  The only person the guest list I was concerned with, however, was Alexia. 

I arrived to the party right on time – unusual for me, especially as the guest of honor, but I insisted on spending every moment of the party I could trying to win her over. 

“So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Alexia shows up?” JC asked, looking around the place. 

“Oh, I have it all planned out.  She’s going to walk through that door and I am going to be casual Justin.  I’ll be on the other side of the room surrounded by a few ladies telling them some funny story, making it like I’m the life of the party.  So Alexia will stroll over and I’ll give her one of those ‘Hey, what’s up?’  She’ll say something about how nice the party is, happy birthday wishes, that sort of thing.  I’ll tell her ‘Enjoy yourself’ and then return to my conversation with the other women.  About an hour later I’ll say ‘Oh, you’re still here’ like I don’t really care, real casual like.  And then, completely casually, I will ask her ‘Wanna see the roof?’”

“The roof!” JC nodded.

“What’s so great about the roof?” Trace asked.

Whitney sighed, “The moon, the stars, the night skyline of the city.  You can’t resist falling in love on that roof.  The roof deck is one of the reasons I have stayed at this apartment as long as I have.”

“We’ve done it up there before,” JC said, nodding.  Whitney elbowed him in the side in response.  “What?  I meant enjoying the skyline…” he said, rubbing his hand over his hip. 

“Solid plan, my little friend…” Trace says, rolling his eyes.

“Uh, last I checked, I was not the short one,” I responded. 

He ignored my comment and continued.  “…may I suggest one slight plan modification?”  He didn’t wait for my approval before continuing.  “One of those ladies that you are chatting up in your scenario?  Why don’t you take one of them up to the roof and have wild crazy sex…”

“That’s not the plan!” I said, shrugging with annoyance. 

“It should be the plan!  Look at all of these women!  Look at that one, Justin, that one over there.  She’s smoking hot!”

“But, she’s not Alexia.”

“Exactly, Justin.  Statistic:  At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she’s at.  She knows no one you know and you never have to worry about seeing her ever again.  Do you see where I’m going with this?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Fine, time to play the ‘Have ya met Justin’ game.”  He taps on a girls shoulder before I can stop him.  “Excuse me, have ya met Justin?” he asks her. 

She shakes her head.  “How about Whitney?  Or JC?” he motions to the couple and she continues to shake her head.  He excuses himself for a moment from her and leans into my ear to whisper, “On a silver platter, enjoy!”

“I don’t think so,” I say again, shaking my head.

“Fine.  Your loss, her gain.”  He walks away and turns back to her, “Can I show you the roof?  It’s magical up there.”

“Sure,” she says with a wide smile. 

I tug on his shirt, “Wait, Trace!  I have that roof reserved.”

“Dude, Alexia’s not coming,” he says with an eye roll. 

**

“Hey, that was fast, what happened?” I asked Trace, watching him return quickly. 

 “Well, she was a total crazy.  As soon as we came back she was practically planning the second date.  We aren’t even on the first!  Then I thought of the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met so I said ‘I think I’m in love with you.’  Thanks, bro.”  He put his hand up for a high-five, which I ignored. 

“Glad I could help.”  I looked around and then saw that Whitney and JC were heading towards the roof.  “What?  Oh, come on!”

“Sorry, Justin,” JC said, shrugging. 

“Great, what will I do once Alexia shows up?”

“She’s not going to show up!” Trace groaned.

**

“The party is almost over,” JC said, looking at me.  “Isn’t it?”

“Well, I mean…we need to keep it going.  She could come.  She could come at any minute.”

JC sighed.  “Can you believe this guy?  I have a song to finish writing.”  He looked at Whitney, who looked back at him coyly, tugging on his arm.  “Okay, fine.  But it’s got to be super quick and no cuddling after.”

“I’m the luckiest girl alive,” she said with sarcasm as she headed into the bedroom.  JC followed her, slipping his shirt off.  “Are we the worst party hosts ever?”

”He laughed, “Well, I’m enjoying our party.”

**

“Alright, okay.  We threw the party.  It’s been going on for hours.  Everyone had fun.  Now, I’ve got to get to work,” JC said.  “And I am not to be disturbed.  Repeat after me.  I will not have sex with JC.”

Whitney and Trace both said, in unison, “I will not have sex with JC.”

Just then, my phone rang.  “Hello?”

“Hey, Justin.  It’s Alexia.  I’m so sorry – it’s so late, and I got caught up with a few things.  I’m sorry  I missed the party.”

“Missed?  No, no.  The party is still going strong,” I said, eyeing the room.  The reality was that many of the guests had left and there were just a few people still milling around. 

“Oh, okay.  Maybe I’ll come by for a little bit, then,” she said. 

“Yeah, sure.  I mean, whatever, that’d be cool, I guess,” I said.  What was wrong with me?  I was desperately trying to sound casual on the phone to mask my excitement.  I hung up. 

“Oh, this is getting lame…” Trace said.

“Is this lame?  Or is it casual?” I asked with a grin. 

“Lame!” 

Meanwhile, Whitney knocked on the office door.  “Hey, recording equipment, are you ready for a little fifteen minute break?”

“Sorry, baby, I have to work.  I need all my blood up in here,” he said, motioning to his head.  He peered out of the room, down the hall.  “Have you seen my lyrics anywhere?  I can’t remember where I put them and I was so distracted working on the melody…” he started frantically wandering around the apartment.

Whitney had done her best to clean up the party as it progressed, constantly circling to pick up empty cups and glassware.  At some point, however, she had lost control and the apartment still look pretty trashed with all the traffic flow it had experienced all night.  She was circling the apartment with a tray, grabbing any napkins or cups she could, all the while looking for JC’s papers. 

His temper, though rarely revealing itself, was reaching the breaking point.  “Hey, where the hell is my…oh, okay!  My song lyrics are not a coaster!  Justin!  I am jeopardizing my career as a producer and songwriter so you can throw a second birthday party for yourself for some girl that you just met who might not even show up!  I mean, where is she Justin?  Huh?  Where’s Alexia?"

JC turned around to see Alexia at that exact moment. 

“Oh, hi.  Hi, Alexia.”

JC grabbed his song lyrics and grabbed Whitney’s hand into the bedroom.

“So, you had them throw this party for you?  So you could see me?”

“What?  No.  I, um, okay, yeah, you got me.  Well, one of the reasons I threw the party was so that I could introduce you to this guy,” I said, looking around. 

Trace pushed one of our friends over.

“Chris.”  Yes, that’s right; Uncle Chris was there that night. 

**

Chris and Alexia had been talking for a  while and he brought her a drink.  When Whitney returned to the room, she saw what was happening and pulled me aside.

“Alright, Justin.  Time for the talk.  Alexia is great, she’s one of my best friends.  But, let’s look at the facts here.  You want to get married – now right now there are a million women who are looking to get married, married to Justin Timberlake perhaps.  But, Alexia ain’t one of them.”

“She’s not just one of them.  She is ‘The One.’”

Trace cut in, “Yeah, well, The One is heading up to that roof without you!”

I watched as I saw Chris and Alexia head off to the roof and weighed my options.

“Going to keep it casual?” Whitney asked.

“Yeah, casual?  Uh…no…” I said, changing my mind and following them upstairs.

**

“Hey, Justin,” she said, surprised to see me.

“Hey, Chris, could you give us a minute?” I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“Of course, J.  No sweat,” he said, heading back down to the party.  Alexia gave him a little wave as he headed off.

“Look, Alexia, I didn’t have Whitney throw this party to set you up with Chris.  I had her do this because I wanted to see you,” I said, cringing as I waited for a response. 

“Well, here I am,” she said, shyly. 

“I may be crazy, but I think that there’s something here between us,” I said.

“I don’t know, Justin.  I mean, you seem like a great guy.  But we barely know each other and you are looking at me with that look on your face…”

“What look?”

She sighed, “It’s the let’s fall in love and get married and have children and drive them to soccer practice look.  That’s the look you’re giving me.”

“Well,” I pursed my lips, “I’m not going to force sports on them unless they are sincerely interested.”  I waited for her to chuckle at my joke.  And waited.

“Look, it’s a great look, Justin.  Don’t get me wrong.  But you’re looking at the wrong girl.  I don’t want to get married, definitely not now and maybe not ever.  And if we had a relationship it would either end in marriage or me breaking your heart.  I just can’t really do either of those things.”

“So,” I said, looking at the ground, “What do we do now?”

“We could be friends,” she said.  I sighed in response.  “I know that sometimes that’s just something people say.  But, we really could.  But if you don’t want to, I understand.”

“Maybe in a few months when everything isn’t so fresh, we could all get a beer.  Seeing as our two best friends are getting married and all.”

She smiled, “That sounds good.  I’ll see ya, Justin.”  As she started to walk away, I stopped her. 

“Or, you know, now?  We could all have that drink together now.”

“I’d like that,” she said.   

**

Trace shook his head, looking at a couple making out against the wall.  “Unbelievable.  What does that guy have that I don’t have?”

Alexia grinned, “A date tonight.”

“Ohh, stop the tape, rewind, play it again,” Whitney chuckled, clapping her hands.

Alexia made a tape rewinding noise and then repeated herself.  “A date tonight.”

Trace pouted and turned to me, “I’m not sure I like her.”

I turned to JC, remembering our conversation from earlier.  “Hey, don’t you have a song to finish writing?”

“Dude, you’re talking to a professional.”

“Oh, I know,” I said, scratching my head.

“You know what I’m going to do?  I’m gonna knock back this beer and I might even knock back one more.  I’m gonna go into the little office back there and write that entire song.  I’m gonna cut a demo tomorrow and it’s going to be a smash hit.  My name is Rufus and that’s the trufus!” he took a sip, smiling with satisfaction.

“At least let me grab your drink for you.  I’ll grab everyone another round,” I said, getting up from the table.

“I’ll help carry,” Alexia said, following me.  Once we were out of earshot, she leaned into me.  “I want you to know something, Justin.”

“What?” I asked, feeling my pulse quicken. 

“You’re a catch.  Some day you’re going to make some girl very happy and I’m going to help you find her.”

“Well,” I shrugged, “Good luck.  I mean, where would you even begin?”

Alexia swiftly turned to the girl next to us and tapped her on the shoulder.  “Hey, have you met Justin?”

**