I don't even know why I bothered coming to this piece of shit bar; I really was starting to hate Frank's. I think it was just getting too familiar, a 'been there and done that' type of thing.

But Trace insisted, which meant he whined and demanded, that I'd get out of my house and get a pay for a cold beer instead of drinking the free ones in my refrigerator. I narrowed my eyes at him, becoming annoyed that I was five dollars broker than I would've been had I stayed in my own house. Now I was getting hungry too and would probably stop by the General store to get a cold cut sandwich and a jar of pickles.

"Do you see this shit?" Trace scoffed at the plasma hanging above the bar we were sitting at, perched on old stools. I placed my Budweiser back on the coaster I was using, getting tired of sipping it to ease my boredom. I could watch the game like the rest of the men here, but I wasn't much into football season. I had ended my sports with basketball weeks ago when she -

I cut my thought short, remembering the real reason why I didn't want to watch another fucking game in my entire life.

"Whatever, Trace," I grumbled, "I'm calling it a night." That was enough to make his smurf ass whip around in his seat to face me for the first time since we got here from work nearly an hour ago.

"What? Why?" he complained, getting all whiney again. I rolled my eyes and shrugged as I stood.

"Geez, I don't know... Maybe because I smell like gasoline and I'm covered in motor oil?" I sighed, "I'm tired and I want to shower and drink my own pre-paid beer." With that I kicked my stool in, tossing a ten on the counter. Becky was serving tonight and she had an annoying habit of holding my hand when I handed her bills. I could see her intentions were to do the same tonight because she practically ran over to me when she saw I was leaving. My eyes feel on her overabundance of cleavage, not bothering to be a gentleman about it. The bitch let it hang out, so why the hell not? It's not like I've never seen her naked before.

"Ya leavin' already, Jus?" she gushed, her ruby lipstick disturbingly clashing against her olive tone. I wondered why I even bothered fucking her, but she wasn't even worth the second thought. I could barely remember that night anyway thanks to all the free drinks she gave me.

"Yep," I yawned for emphasis, "See ya tomorrow, Trace." I pat his back as I turned to walk away.

"Wait-" Trace's words fell short because the welcome bell attached to Frank's entrance sounded and caught my eye before he could do anything to stop it. My chest tightened as my eyes soaked her up in her cut off shorts and tied up t-shirt, exposing a sliver of her stomach and an overwhelming amount of legs I didn't know she had. The girl was almost a foot shorter than me, but now she walked in here like a fucking goddess. The nerves of her for looking so good.

"Get another beer, Jay, on me...to go," Trace said, firmly grasping my shoulder. I glanced back at him, seeing his good intentions as he gave me a worried look. Trace was annoying, but he was my boy, always trying to keep the peace. Every fiber in my being wanted to walk up and talk to her, ask her what the fuck happened last time, but Trace was looking tired and I knew he wouldn't have the energy to deal with us. Besides, I was tired my damn self and covered in grease. I couldn't let her see me like this anyway.

"I'm good, man," I assured, even managing to smile, "I'm just gonna walk out, no problem." Trace raised a brow, doubting me like he always did. "Seriously, man." I turned to get one last glance at her though and then I saw red.

In the midst of my brief conversation, she had made her way over to the pool tables, smiling and flipping her chocolate brown hair over her soft, mocha shoulder. It would've been beautiful, seeing her so happy and glowing, but there was some fucking douche bag with his arm around her waist like he owned that shit. My shoulders instantly tensed as I drew in a deep breath. I hadn't realized my fists were clenched until Trace placed his hand on my forearm, pulling me back as I took a step forward.

"Justin, no," he said calmly, but firmly, and I felt like a fucking dog. Who the hell was he to tell me what to do?

"Fuck off, Trace," I sneered, flinging him off of me with rough shrug. He stood from his stool, jumping in front of me before I could take another step. He held up his hands.

"Look, man, I know you're feeling some type of way, but she's not your problem," he said, making me cut my eyes in his direction. Not my fucking problem?

"Was she not staying with me three weeks ago? Now she's in here all over some fucking dickwad-"

"Keep your voice down!" Trace whispered harshly and I hadn't realized I was yelling until the area around me seemed to hush. I felt the eyes on me, knowing they would be talking about me all over again. "She's not all over him, man. They're just standing there-"

"They shouldn't be," I snapped, "Who the fuck is that anyway? She can't meet somebody that damn fast. She must've been seeing him before we even broke up-"

"Y'all weren't even together," Trace argued back, making me shove him back before I could think of what I was doing. He knocked over my bottle, making it crash against the floor. The sound caused more eyes. "What the fuck, man!"

"Don't tell me what the fuck we were," I stated, jabbing my finger in his angered face.

"Whatever," Trace said, slapping my hand down, "Go fuck up again, see if I give a shit!" He snatched up his jacket, mumbling shit as he walked away. I let it go, knowing we'd be talking by morning.

My eyes fell back onto the core of my rage and a fire ignited in my gut when I caught her eye for just a moment when she turned to look at me. I could see the annoyance in her eyes before she turned back, wrapping her arm around the same asshole's back. I watched her arm and his arm; their skin touching comfortably and I almost screamed as I stomped over to them. I heard Becky call after me, but fuck it and fuck them and fuck it all.

"Hey!" I called out, making them turn to face me. I didn't get a look at the guy's face before I swung, but his nose wasn't hard to break. I felt the crack against my knuckles in the first swing that sent him falling back against the pool table. He groaned when he landed and I was over him in a second, my fist flying faster than my thoughts could match up.

This fucker was gonna die if I had anything to say about it.

"You wanna fuck my girl!" I accused because why the fuck else was he touching her? Besides, she'd fuck him just to spite me, I know it. Not that this fucking douche could handle that. That ass was mine, got damn it.

"Justin what the fuck!" I ignored the shriek, but a second later she was pummeling me from behind, slapping, and punching my fucking head. I stopped swinging long enough to grab her wrists and shove her back before turning back to this asshole, but she was on me again, slapping and yelling. She was clawing at my arms, digging her fucking nails into my arm and neck.

I turned, grabbing her flailing arms. Tiny as she was, I was having a hard time holding her. She was flipping out like a fish out of water, cussing my name to hell. "Get the fuck off me!" she yelled when I wrapped my arms around her to hold her together, but she managed to get an arm out, pushing at my chin until I was facing the ceiling. Her nails were fucking up my jugular and it hurt like a motherfucker, so I had to let her go and push her back. She tripped over a fallen pool stick, stumbling back into a bystander. She nearly fucked him up just for standing there before her dark eyes landed on my furious glare.

"Who the fuck was that?" I asked was because I could see him running for the back exit through my peripherals. I could also see the bar gawking at us. She just stood there seething for a moment, her whole body shaking. I gave her thoughtful glance, forgetting I was angry for a moment when I thought about that tight body shaking under me.... Damn she was hot when she was mad. Maybe that's why I pissed her off so much.

"He was my boyfriend until you decided to be a got damn fucktard-" The word had registered and it set me on fire all over again.

"Boyfriend!" I shrieked this time, the vein in my neck nearly exploding. "How the fuck is fuckin' him making him your got damn boyfriend? You don't even know him!"

"How do you know what I know?" she smirked, "You don't know how long I've been with him anyway." She was bullshitting, I knew it. Trying to act like we're the same kind of person... She could never step out on me - even if we didn't have a real title. Even when I told her to go fuck herself, she would wait and see what happened.

"Shut the fuck up," I spat out just to prove I wasn't listening to a word she was saying. Her face fell as she turned on her heel.

"Fuck you, Justin Randall!" she yelled over her shoulder, "I fuckin' hate you!" She leant over the pool table, fucking up somebody's game when she grabbed the eight ball and aimed it at my head. I moved in time to hear it whoosh past my ear as she went to make a run for it. I went after her without giving a fuck who was watching as I yanked her arm, making her yelp and flip out again.

"Calm the fuck down!" I groaned, but of course that spurred her on. Fuck this shit, I thought, tossing her over my shoulder with ease. I was fighting to keep her steady because she was really kicking and scratching, fucking up my scalp and shoulders as I hurried outside the bar. I'm surprised Frank hadn't pulled out his rifle yet.

"Put me the fuck down, asshole!" she screamed before her teeth went right into my shoulder. I cried out in pain, but more so shock as I dropped her ass to the fucking ground a lot rougher than I would have if she weren't so fucking crazy.

"You bit me!" I hissed when I touched my shoulder to make sure she hadn't ripped out a chunk with her fucking teeth. "Bitch!" I got fist to my face before I could get the syllable completely out, groaning as I stumbled back.

"Your mama's the fuckin' bitch!" she yelled back, "She should've fuckin' swallowed you, motherfucker!" I held my lip and shoulder as I glared at her. That shit hurt my got damn feelings and she knew it. She wanted low blows?

"Swallow, huh?" I smirked, even though my jaw hurt, "Like you swallow me?" The anger dissipated from her face and I almost took that shit back because her anger was a lot easier to deal with. There was a silence when she took two steps back before turning around and walking off.

My jaw was hurting and I was beginning to feel the burn of her punches and scratches, but I wasn't even mad anymore because she was walking away, not even saying anything back. She knew that was the worst way to fight. It wasn't fair when one of us gave up. "I'm sorry!" I called out an apology and she raised her hand to silence me as she kept walking.

I felt myself getting tensed up again because I fucking apologized and she was still walking away. My body reacted for me, jogging up to catch her arm and whip her back to face me. I braced myself for her tears, but was shocked to find her face clear with just a scowl in place.

"Get the hell off me," she demanded, yanking her arm free and slapping at my chest, "Just leave me alone, Justin! Damn!" She went to turn around again, but fuck that 'cause my chest was hurting, so I owed her at least a shove, so pushed her against the nearest wall, making her gasp for air on impact. I knew the brick was scratching up her exposed back, but that's what the fuck she got for wearing this got damn down outfit, showing off all that smooth skin.

"I said I was the fuck sorry," I said as angrily as possible, but I could smell her vanilla body mist and it was a distraction. It took almost a week and two bottles of Febreeze to get that smell the fuck out of my sheets.

"I don't give a shit," she growled back, pulling her lips back over her teeth, snarlin' like a mutt. I almost laughed because her face could never been intimidating no matter what she did. It was too soft and round, her long lashes giving her those fucking doe eyes that always had me feeling like a pussywhipped bastard when she wanted something - anything.

I grabbed her arms, slamming them above her head to pin 'em because she kept trying to twist her way out of my grasp. All her squirming was making her warmer than usual, her skin gleaming with a bit of sweat from the heat of the August night and our scuffling. She was still glowing, even in her anger.

She stopped struggling for a second when she realized I wasn't really fighting back, just holding her still. Her chest moved against mine and I pushed myself against her to line us up better. I saw that glossed over look in her eyes. I saw that flame that wasn't fueled by anger and I dipped my head down because three weeks was too fucking long and Becky wasn't shit compared to her, but she whipped her head around, craning her neck like she'd be able to escape that way.

"No!" she shouted, "No! Get off of me! Get the fuck off of me!" Her wild lashing out caught me a little off guard and she managed to shove me back a bit, but I went right back in to pin her up, only to have her knee ram right into my fucking nut sack.

Pain was an understatement because I went down faster than I could've imagined. A cry caught in my throat as I saw white, grabbing myself to ease the sharp fire and the stinging of tears in my eyes. I wailed out, rolling all over the ground, not seeing anything, but feeling it all. All I heard was the fading sounds of her clicking cowgirl boots and I knew she was gone.

"I told you to leave it alone," Trace's voice came chiming in a second later and I wanted to ask the fucker where he was before she fucked up my balls. "C'mon, man. Let’s go..." I felt his arm hook through mine, but I couldn't bear to let go of my nuts just yet. They were probably crushed, bleeding, and swollen. God, I just wanted to kill her. I just wanted to slap her around.

"I need a minute," I whispered, only to have him laugh out loud. If I could move, I'd punch him in the nuts too, but the idea of causing someone this much pained seemed as cruel as shooting puppies.

"Okay, man," Trace said through his laughter, "I'll bring the truck around." He walked off too, leaving me on the ground to wallow in my sorrows. I vowed to myself that she'd pay for this if it was the last thing I ever did.

It's all false love and affection
You don't like me you just want the attention

I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy

I really wanted pickles and it was bothering the shit out of me that I couldn’t even pick up the jar I was staring at.

It was the brand of pickles I threw at his stupid face the last time I was staying with him. Much like that eight ball at Frank's, I unfortunately missed. A part of me thought that if I fucked up his face, I’d be able to walk away from his shit, but another part of me knew I’d nurse his ass back to health and stay, overwhelmed with guilt.

I felt a jolt of helplessness in the form of chill because he had ruined pickles for me and that was bullshit. I grabbed the jar of kosher dills, feeling the urge to smash it against the ground, when a familiar back caught my eye. The hairs on my neck stood up and I held my breath, feeling my fucking heart pounding against my chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" I mumbled to myself, ducking behind the low shelves of condiments, peaking over yellow mustard to watch him grab a bag of cheese curls from the chip rack. Hair buzzed, cotton button up wrinkled like he just rolled out of bed... He was going to fucking kill me was my initial thought. I shouldn’t have kicked him in the balls, but if I had let him kiss me, I would’ve been fucking him against that wall and back at his place without a second thought.

And I wasn’t too proud to admit that those shit rumors about him and Becky would’ve ceased to bother me, much like the other rumors of him and all the sluts in this too small town.

"What the hell are you doin’, Crystal?" I whipped around at the sound of my name, slapping my hand over Tina’s mouth as she mumbled against my palm, rolling her eyes. She looked eerily like my mother in that moment, a hand on her wide hips and a scowl on her pudgy face. I could see the freckles across her nose as she flared her nostrils in what I could only assume to be annoyance.

"Shh…" I shushed, checking over my shoulder to make sure he still wasn’t facing me. Sure enough, he was checking out jars of dip, still unaware of my panic attack. "We have to go…Now!" I whispered, taking her basket of goods from her hands and gently resting it against the floor. I watched her narrow her green-blue eyes at me before I felt the unmistakable pinch of teeth. I yanked my hand back, hissing in pain as she wiped her mouth, grabbed her basket, and blew her choppy bangs from her face.

"Look, I have kids to feed," she said, not bothering to whisper despite my frantic hand movements, "No, bitch, don’t shush me," she said, seeming to get louder.

"C’mon, Tina!" I hissed, turning around again to check, but he was nowhere in sight. I felt myself panic. Even though I didn’t want to see him, it was easier to know where he was. My eyes quickly flashed about the quaint General store. The shelves were shorter than me, so he couldn’t hide anywhere but behind the bread rack across the room, but I didn’t see him there either.

"You cannot hide from him; it’s Millington!" Tina stated a-matter-of-factly and I couldn’t argue. This town felt like a two block stretch when you were trying to lay low...but a light bulb went off in my head as I remembered her Jeep was parked right out front. It was new and Justin would never think to look in the parking lot for me.

"Gimme the keys," I said, already digging in her black shorts, my fingers getting stuck in her tight pockets. I could tell by the look on her face that she was more bothered by the fact that I could feel how tight they were rather than my freaking out, so I let her slap my hands away.

"I’m done now," she grimaced, readjusting her clothing, including her snug tank top. "I just gotta grab some milk." I glanced back at the line of refrigeration by the bread rack, almost considering getting the milk myself, but I couldn’t get it; what if he was hiding behind the bread after all?

"I’ll get your spot in line," I decided, taking her basket and practically running up to the front. I didn’t miss the roll of her eyes, but I didn’t give a shit. She could run into Justin if she fucking felt like it, not me. I refused, which is why I watched every aisle as I moved to get my place in line. Only two people ahead of me with three or four things. I let go of the breath I was holding.

"I think you owe my dick an apology." I gasped when his breath warmed my ear, nearly making me drop the basket. I rolled my eyes at myself, wanting nothing more than to smack the assholes of the universe that planned for this shit to happen. I didn’t bother turning around, knowing he was smirking by the way he spoke.

"I don’t owe you shit," I grumbled, pushing down the butterflies in my gut as I adjusted the hem of my black t-shirt. I realized it was the same Rolling Stones shirt he got me for my birthday last year.

Fuck.

I felt him chuckle when he took a step forward, lining his body against mine before I could sense it. I wondered if he was laughing at the shirt or my comeback as I involuntarily shivered. He was much warmer than the AC surrounding me.

"Crystal, Crystal, Crys...tal…" he purred, his hand touching my shoulder lightly. My whole body reacted to the way my name sounded coming out of his mouth. I flashed back to all those nights I made him whimper my name, pressed up against the bathroom door and that time we broke the coffee table... I tried to control the electricity, but he ran his fingers up my arm and I felt him brushing my hair off my shoulder. "Come home, baby..." he whispered, kissing where my hair had lain. His lips were as soft as his words and my heart was pulled, calling out for his. "I miss you and I'm sorry..." I closed my eyes, my hands shaking so bad that I had to clench them into fist around the basket handle.

"Shut up," I said, without much conviction. The line moved up and I took a huge step forward. Justin was right behind me, his belt buckle pressed against my ass. Damn I wanted to unhook that fucking belt because he smelled so good and I knew how good it would be... If only I could fuck him and leave, life would be easy.

"You gonna tell me you don't miss me?" he asked tauntingly and I felt myself caving in because I was two seconds away from promising that this would be the last fuck and I'd move on, but I had said that too many times and I was still in this damn mess.

He knew what he was saying; he knew how to make my belly get all weird. I should've been angry that he was using the same old game, pushing all the same buttons, but it was making me smile a bit because I liked that he still could do that. He still managed to charm me after all the shit. I had to give him some credit for that, even though it tore me apart by the end of the day. There weren't any guys who could do. This town bored me; men bored me. I got some tired of things easily and I didn't trust much to begin with. Justin had gotten under my skin before I got smart and it was an intolerable itch I had yet to get rid of.

I guess I was an emotional masochist. I put myself in these fucked up situations because Justin was Justin, and it wasn't a good excuse, but it was all I had.

His lips were on my neck now, working up to my ear and I tried to remain composed, but I felt myself leaning back into him... "Mmm...come on, baby..." he moaned against my lobe, "I fuckin' need you." Shit... I nearly let the basket slip from hands, realizing I was in public again, but still not giving a shit.

It had been a week since the bar incident and Mike, Justin's victim, hadn't returned my calls. I brushed him off, but now I wish I had fucked him at least. I was too fucking horny for this bullshit, and even though Mike certainly wouldn't be as good, it would've been something. Now my panties were getting soaked off his words because he was last person I fucked with and that was nearly a month ago. My hands could only do so much...

But I forced my horniness down, remembering Mike's bloody face and the way Justin's dumbass dropped me on the cement outside the bar. I remembered how sore I was the day after and the bruises around my wrists from his forceful grip... That was enough to make me whip around and shove him back with one hand, steadying the basket with another.

"Fuck off, Justin," I growled, "I mean it." He looked annoyed for a moment when he nearly knocked down the old man behind him, who he quickly apologized to, insisting that he’d move ahead of us. I watched the way he smiled, making himself forgiven by the old man in a split second. It made me sick that he was so fucking smooth. I bet that's how he got all those fucking bitches on their knees while I was stuck in his apartment, cleaning up his shit.

I felt my blood boil and I remembered exactly why his dick wasn't worth it...because that dick had been in just about every girl who ever smiled his way. The whole town took me for a fool because I kept taking him back. I couldn't get a week with him without some whore smiling at me with her I had your man grin.

"Crystal -" Justin began his cooing, but I cut him short.

"Don't," I said distastefully, "Call one of your whores, Justin. I'm not doin' this shit anymore." I turned back around, moving up again as the line progressed. Justin came up beside me, sighing.

"Wouldn't you rather fuck me?" he said, making me glare at him, his smirk in full swing when I focused on his baby face. He had shaved, so he was smooth skinned and looking like he did when we first met. Back then, had you told me we'd end up here, I wouldn't have believed you. I couldn't believe that face was capable of all the shit he put me through over the last three years.

I could feel my temper flaring though; I was getting angry with myself, and I knew that's what he wanted. He knew that if I got mad, we'd fight and get kicked out and be alone outside. Then he'd have me in the small alley behind the store, pressed up against another brick wall...That wasn't happening.

"Whatever, Justin," I said through gritted teeth as he pretended to check his nails.

"I'm just saying... I'd rather be with you," he tried again like that shit was helping.

"I'm happy to be at the top of your bitch list," I grimaced, rolling my eyes because I was fueling my own fire by continuing this conversation. "Shouldn't you be working?" I asked, realizing it was only three in the afternoon and Eddie's Shop didn't close until six. Justin was one of his best mechanics, so he should've been there, working overtime like he always did... or at least that's what he claimed.

"I didn't go in today," Justin said, trying to sound nonchalant. It was completely unnatural and stiff, so I knew he wasn't telling me something. I glanced at him through the corners of my eyes, letting the lady behind me go ahead as we moved up one space.

"Why?" I asked, despite my better judgment, but Justin shrugged, falling silent, which could only mean one thing. "Is Steve all right?" Justin was a dickhead and a selfish prick with no regard to anybody's feelings but his own, but when he did choose to care, he was legit. I only knew he was capable of real love because of how he treated his family, more specifically his little brother. Steve was only seven, but was suffering from some type of bone disease Justin didn't fully understand. He was just in and out of the hospital from time to time, some days better and some days worst. Justin was working hard to pay his medical bills, so if he wasn't working, something was wrong.

With the look on Justin's face, I could tell I knew he probably spent a better part of the morning at Children's hospital. I now saw why he was the first one to come back. Depending on how shitty our lives were, one of us would step up to the plate and show up to the other one's doorstep or job or what have you. Since I had kicked Justin in the nuts, I was almost certain he'd hold out to find me unless it was to throw me down and kick my ass, but he only went a week which meant his world was going to shit.

"He couldn't get out of bed for three days," Justin finally mumbled out, sounding like a little kid, "We took him to the ER this mornin'..." My heart wept automatically because he was hurting more than he'd admit, which hurt me more than I'd ever say. "I just ain't been sleepin' well... I'm all over the place with Steve and you and... I dunno, Crys. I just want something good to happen... I just want to be with you and feel better again..." Had a stranger overheard this, it would've seemed sweet and sincere, but I knew better. I knew the man for who he actually was.

"You mean you want sex," I corrected and his whole body went rigid. I knew he was pissed at me for being so blunt, especially since it was true, but what the fuck ever. I wasn't a comfort, I was an easy lay and his housemaid. He wanted someone to cook and clean for him while he went bar hopping; fucking anything in sight until he came home to a warm meal and a warm bed.

"That's not what the fuck I meant and you know it," he said quietly, but harshly. I felt like everybody was still looking at us, so I pushed him out of line and stepped out of the way of the customers behind us. I made sure I got us in the corner by the jars of homemade jam before even bothering to speak. Justin looked confused and threatened, which was hilarious. I guess he thought I'd toss a jar of strawberry preserves at his big ass head. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Look, you fucking bastard," I started out so he wouldn't see me getting soft, "I'm sorry about Steve, and you know that, but I'm not gonna hop on your dick because I feel sorry for you. That shit you pulled last week cost me a real nice guy who's never gonna speak to me again because he thinks I have some psycho boyfriend I'm cheating on -"

"His pussy ass ain't deserve you no way," Justin interrupted, "He wouldn't fight for you, Crys. He took that shit and ran. Do you want that?" I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head. He was the fuck delusional.

"You weren't fighting for me, you were fighting for your fucking self," I corrected, hating that he was patting himself on the back for being an obnoxious prick. I watched his face fall at my revelation, "Justin, you don't care about me and I see that now. You just want what you can't have -"

"I can have you, Crys," he interrupted again with his cocky ass smile, grabbing my hips to his. I gasped from the shock of the movement, making his grin wider before I pushed his face back, making him stumble.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," I said, ready to drop the damn basket to beat his ass up, "You're such a dick, Justin. You're never gonna be able to think with your big head because you're too busy thinking with your little one." I rolled my eyes, groaning in frustration as I counted backwards from ten. This is why I was in therapy for most of last year. This is why my pressure is probably above and beyond its limits.

"Babe, you're right," Justin said softly after a moment, but I had looked away in the mist of composing myself, "Baby, I'm sorry, really. I'm just upset and you're the only person I can come to..." I glanced back at him, his blue eyes shining in the store lights. He looked pathetic with his hands at his side and slouching. Too bad I had seen that look too many times.

"You mean I'm the only person you can cum with," I corrected, turning to head back towards the line, "Go home, Justin." I heard him growl from behind me before he yanked my arm back, nearly making me drop the basket with the force of his pull.

"I'm not fucking beggin' you, Crystal, I'm telling you to get your ass in my car," he demanded, which was so very Justin of him. Of course when being smooth and pleading didn't work, he thought he could bully me into doing what he wanted. This fucker had another thing coming.

"You got two seconds to get your fuckin' hands off me," I threatened and even though I didn't have a plan, I had enough pent up aggression to fuck him up, jar or no jar. Justin stared me down, stilling holding onto my arm with a grasp that was sure to leave more bruises. "One..." I counted off real slow and Justin glanced over my shoulder, probably at the faces burning holes into the back of my head, watching us from the register.

"Fine," he grumbled, letting me go roughly. I examined my arm, seeing the imprint of his hand fading, "You can stay, but I'm not fucking coming back to you, Crys." I rolled my eyes.

"You make that sound like a bad thing," I called back as I made my way to the end of the line. I didn't bother turning because I knew Justin had followed. He was too stubborn to leave a fight without him winning.

"You think I'm kidding?" he badgered on as I ignored him, "You're not gonna ever see me again."

"And yet you're still here." The voice wasn't my own, but Tina's comeback was hard not to smile at. I glanced behind me to see her rolling her eyes with a gallon of milk and two boxes of Capon Crunch in her arms. I thanked the Lord for her presence and I could see Justin rolling his eyes to the heavens. I smiled.

"So much for just milk," I teased, pushing Justin out of her way.

"I was looking for some honey, but they had some raspberry something, something..." Tina said busily, grabbing the basket from my hand when she placed the milk and cereal in it. "Justin." Her greeting wasn't cheerful, but I was surprised she had even said anything at all as we finally reached the cashier. I looked back at Justin as he glared at the back of her head.

"Christina," he said, just as stiffly, "You're looking stunning today. Have you lost weight?" It took everything in me not to punch him square in the face. He knew Tina had gained weight from baby Dylan nearly two years ago and she couldn't find the time to work it off yet. He was such a fucking asshole.

"Yeah, I did actually," Tina said, paying Roger for our food before looking back at Justin, "And it looks like your big ass head found it."

"Ha," Justin said drily, turning back to me, "Can we talk?"

"Talk?" Tina cut in before I could answer, receiving her change from a frightful Roger whose pubescent acne blotched skin redden more as the argument unfolded. "Don't you mean sweet talk her into ruining her life?" I felt my face flush with embarrassment when Mrs. Gabeline glanced away when I caught her staring from behind Justin's back. The way her gray curls bounced was a dead give away to her nosiness.

"How is our relationship any of your got damn business?" Justin snapped. His chest was puffed out in his 'manly' defensive way. I ushered Tina toward the door in hopes of ceasing the conversation.

"Relationship?" Tina laughed without a hint of amusement and I felt overwhelmed by their voices and the eyes on us. It was bad enough I went into Rite Aid this morning and had Mr. Riley, the supervisor, ask me if Justin and I worked out our 'little scuffle' after Frank's. This town was smothering me as is, and having them bicker wasn't helping matters. "Is that what you think this bullshit is? A relationship?"

"Oh and you know how it works, right?" Justin laughed, bitterly, "How's Mitch, doin' then?" I felt a sharp pain in my chest before I punched him in his, making him grunt.

"Justin, take that shit back!" I demanded, finally finding my voice and getting more looks as Mrs. Gabeline whipped her head around again when I caught her eye. I couldn't believe he had stooped that low. Tina was just getting over that divorce and I felt guilty for even telling him about it.

"No, it's okay, Crys," Tina said, grabbing my hand to keep me from swinging at him again, "Justin doesn't understand the concept of learning to walk away when something isn't working. He doesn't know how to not be a selfish dick."

"Whatever, Tina," Justin said, waving her off, and turning back to me, "You comin' or not?" I scoffed at the very idea of walking out with him, especially now.

"Not, asswipe," I cussed, taking the grocery bag from a smiling Tina, "Let's go." I turned my back to Justin, walking off faster as Tina followed, calling out a very cheerful 'goodbye'. We made it out to the car, her Jeep not too far off from the door. I placed the bag in the back seat when she unlocked everything with her remote as she climbed in, starting the ignition.

I felt myself rushing like a fugitive because Justin was bomb, ready to go off. He was angry from our discussion and I'm sure he was furious with Tina butting in. Me hitting him in the chest was momentarily disregarded, but I'm sure he was hyping himself up on that now that I refused to leave with him, making him have to stand in the middle of the store left behind, embarrassed, and hurting about Steve. I knew the mechanics of his brain and we had just seconds before he'd come out of that store like a bat out of hell.

I hopped into the passenger seat, hitting the power locks as Tina hit the gas. We both jumped when Justin's fist smashed against the glass of my window, a small crack appearing as he cussed, kicking her bumper as she sped off. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to look at Tina because I knew she had that face that said she couldn't take much more of our shit.

"I'll pay for that," I said, staring at the newly cracked window, noticing a speckle of blood, "I'll pay for it." Tina sighed like my mother too, turning on the radio to the news station, ignoring me.

I bit my bottom lip, sitting back in my seat and sighing as well.

"I'm really not understanding why you're so damn mad," Trace took the last gulp of his Sprite, burping from his spot beside me on my pull out sofa. I flicked through the channels of my television, not wanting to seem remotely interested in the bullshit conversation he was trying to have. "I mean, Steve's good now... he's home. You should be happy." I scoffed at the very idea, but I knew he was right. Steve was most important, but Crystal was in my head and she wouldn't stop telling me 'fuck no'.

"Look, man, I'd love to have this heart to heart with ya and all, but I can't be doing this shit right now. I just wanna watch some TV."

"Then pick a fuckin' channel, pussy," Trace spat, getting up with a groan. His movements made me shift a little, annoying me further.

"Ya know what? You can step the fuck up out my pussy ass apartment man," I said, realizing I didn't have to take his shit because we were no longer roommates, "Don't you have a wife to get home to?"

"Maria and I aren't married yet," Trace said, his green t-shirt hiking up as he stretched his little arms making his way into my open kitchen. "Don't worry 'bout my relationship, worry 'bout yours."

"Apparently I don't have one of those," I mumbled bitterly, turning back to my television as I tried to push Tina's stupid face out of my head. I scratched my bare abs, too hot to wear a shirt, "Can you turn up the AC?" I heard the thermometer clicking, not bothering to thank him as I slouched back into the plush red sofa. I hated how bright it was with all the blacks and burnt oranges, but Crystal had said something about accenting the room with it. This whole color scheme decorating was her idea and though I loved it, I never understood it.

"Who told you that?" Trace inquired, making his way back to the couch, "Crystal?" He was smirking and I could see it out of the corners of my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to smack his fuckin' teeth out.

"No, dickwad, Tina's dumbass did," I scoffed, hating the taste of her name in my mouth, "I'm real sick of that bitch."

"She's real sick of you too," Trace shot back and punched his arm in annoyance, making him whine.

"Whose side you on, man?" I was really beginning to question our friendship. I had been friends with Trace since before we were born, but when it came to all things Crystal, he stayed being her got damn cheerleader like our friendship wasn't worth shit.

"I'm not on any side," Trace said, making me punch him again.

"You're supposed to be on my side," I told him, making him punch me right back in the center of my chest. I grunted and rubbed the sore spot above my sternum, cutting my eyes at him.

"I am, but you fuck up too, man, and I ain't gon' sit here and tell you that you don't to make you feel better," Trace said, scowling at me like an angry old man, "How much of Tina's shit have you broken tryna get to Crystal?" I bit my tongue, knowing the list was long, but it wasn't my fault Crystal always ran home to her or was using her car or wearing a shirt or necklace I tore during one of our fights... or make ups.

That made me smile because I remember a particular white blouse she wore for half a second when I made a surprise visit at Tina's in search for her. I popped every button off that thing and nearly ripped it to shreds pulling her sweet body out of it...

My dick was getting hard just remembering that shit and I was in agony, throwing my head back with a growl deep in my throat because I was itching to get that pussy and she wasn't anywhere near giving it up.

Not that it was all about that; despite what she thought, I just missed her anyway and it was bothering me going on a month without her. This wasn't the longest fight we've had, but it's the most separated one and my dick was feeling it. My apartment was feeling it. Nothing smelt right, nothing cooked right, and nobody felt right in my arms after a nice fuck... This was just bullshit and she knew it 'cause she fucking missed me too; I felt the way she shook when I touched her and the way she changed her breathing.

"Let's go out tonight," I announced, no longer wanting to discuss Christina or think about pussy I couldn't get. Millington was full of desperate bitches and I wasn't going to waste a good nut on my selfish hand.

"Naw, man, I already asked you earlier and you said no," Trace said, already bitching, "It's already ten o'clock and it's a Wednesday. Ain't nothing but hookers and drunks out this late in the middle of the week." I smirked, realizing Trace was becoming an old man.

"That sounds like my kinda party," I said, pushing myself up from the couch, "I'm goin' to Frank's." Trace was rolling his eyes before my back was even turned. I grabbed my white t-shirt off the back of my couch, pulling it over my head. My jeans and work boots were good enough as is, I decided as I grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter.

"Tell Becky I said 'hi', will ya?" Trace called out knowingly as I approached the door. I smirked to myself before nodding.

"'Kay." I made it out to my truck without much thought. All I knew was that Frank's was two miles up and I had a glove compartment full of magnums that were going to waste. If Crystal wouldn't fuck me, somebody else would, that was for sure.

My dick was famous around these parts and she had a clear idea of what the fuck she was missing. She just acted like she didn't care and that was fine because Becky had a big mouth, in more ways than one, so I was sure she'd get the news that I had fucked someone else soon enough and that would just about kill her.

Serves her right for fucking with me, leaving me in that got damn General store like I was some lunatic she's never seen before. I begged that fucking bitch to take me back and she said no. Flat out left me hanging like I wasn't shit and that big mouth, lard ass cousin of hers just had to toss her two cents in like I gave a flying fuck what she thought of Crys's and I relationship - and yes it was one, even if it was fucked up.

That's why Mitch left her ass - she never knew when to shut the hell up and I didn't care if that was mean 'cause he had left her kids behind too, but it was me giving Crystal money to help her out because I knew she wouldn't take it from my hands. It was me dropping off them damn kids at school in my motherfuckin' car every got damn mornin' because Crystal didn't have a ride and the walk was too long for Robyn and Sam to be doing every day.

But nobody remembers that shit, now do they? Justin was just a fuckin' asshole, right?

I kicked the side of my truck, giving it a dent that made me so mad I kicked it again. Fuckin' steel toe boots were fuckin' me up. I hurriedly got in the car, speeding off because I needed a drink. I parked right outside Frank's neon lights, seeing a few people out front, some I recognized from work, others from my building. None of them important or fuckable, so I turned off my truck and made my way inside the bar.

I scanned the room, telling myself I wasn't looking for Crystal even though I knew I was. She was nowhere in sight though, which had me feeling disappointed, but I couldn't dwell on it because I spotted something interesting in the form of Lindsey Fickleton.

Five-foot-nine and blonde; her long straight hair falling over her shoulder, nearly touching her ass as she threw her head back and laughed with the goons she was serving a pitcher of beer to. She was young and dumb, but damn hot. Rumor was she went away to college in California to be with her high school boyfriend, but he dumped her so bad she came back home her spring semester with no intention of going back.

Her emotional distress left her vulnerable and gullible which meant she'd be easy. I would've felt bad for my predatory ways, but her tight ass was in a mini skirt that would show me some tail if she bent over just enough, so I told myself she was asking for it.

I watched her flirt for tips, giggling and caressing the shoulders of men. Her cut off t-shirt was fitted around her perky tits - a B cup as far as I can tell, and she bounced unnecessarily to make them move. Her bright blue eyes were surrounded by dark make up and eye lashes that couldn't be hers, and her lips were tinted with shiny pink glossy shit I wanted smeared all over my cock. There was nothing better than a pretty face and nice body in perfect harmony, humming underneath you.

I smiled at the mental visual as she finally turned from her table, making her way to the bar without noticing me gawking at her. I released my cool, feeling myself step up smoothly, approaching slow enough not to seem eager, but fast enough to catch her before she could hurry off. I sat at the bar, clearing my throat to get her attention.

Her eyes flickered up to mine and she smiled softly as I smiled back. "Hey." She ducked behind the bar, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of Jack.

"Hey," she said back, her eyes on the drinks she poured. I rotated my shoulders.

"I don't know what I'm in the mood for," I announced, watching her slide the two glasses to the seats next to me, taking her tip with a bright smile.

"Well, let me know when you figure it out," she said cheerfully, "We got lots to choose from here."

"That's just the thing," I said, leaning a bit forward, glancing 'round to make sure nobody was paying any particular attention to me. "What I want ain't on the menu." I kept my eyes on her, loving the way her eyes diverted from mine when she blushed knowingly.

"Oh...well there ain't much I can do 'bout that," she mumbled, smiling as I smirked at her.

"I can think of something you could do," I said softly, looking her up and down.

"Well, aren't you forward?" she giggled, her face still a nice shade of pink. I chuckled, just to appease her.

"I'm a firm believer in not beatin' 'round the bush," I said, "What time are you done here?"

"I gotta close up," Lindsey said, fidgeting with her apron, "I dunno why that matters to you."

"Because you matter to me," I answered back. She turned a deeper shade of pink.

"Don't you date that Crystal girl?" Lindsey inquired, leaning down a bit to say it quietly. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I fuckin' hated this small town.

"No," I said simply, my voice even as I looked her in the eyes, "I'm all yours." Her eyes lit up at my words and I licked my lips slowly, watching her watch my tongue slide across my lip. Done; she was already imagining what I'd do with my tongue. I could tell by the way she cleared her throat, her cheeks a shade of red. Her innocence was making my cock twitch with a need to turn her the fuck out.

"Well, in that case, I guess we can hang out when I'm done cleaning up 'round here," Lindsey said, trying to seem nonchalant, "You willing to wait around for an hour?" If I weren't so fuckin' horny, I'd tell the bitch hell no, but she was the easiest in here tonight with Becky nowhere in sight.

"Of course, baby," I said gently, "I'd wait forever." She giggled, rolling her eyes, but eating that shit right up when I winked at her, watching her tight ass walk off to serve a dish of cold beer she had been putting together during our exchange. I sighed, glancing up at the time in the corner of the television, not bothering to pay attention to the news. This would be the longest hour ever.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, fuck!" Her voice was high as hell; she was practically squeaking as she dug her nails into my lower back. If her pussy weren't so fuckin' tight, I'd be annoyed.

"That's right, baby, feel that shit..." I encouraged, digging my hips deeper into hers, ramming into her body and grinding as quickly as I could. My Chevy was creaking, matching the rhythm of my hips as I fucked her in the bed of my truck. My knees were starting to hurt a little; the metal foundation of the truck bed wasn't cushioned much by the thin blanket I kept in the back seat for moments like these.

"Oh, Justin! Fuck yes!" I lifted her thin legs, hooking her knees over my shoulders to go deeper. My arms were getting tired, but by the flushed look on her face, I could tell she wouldn't be holding on much longer. Her blonde hair was fanned out all around her. There was so much of it, some had shed all over me when we had first started fooling around. She was like a cat. Even when I kissed her, I caught a hair in my mouth. That almost made me call this whole shit off. But I had wasted my gas driving down Avondale to the small lake near my parent's place - which wasn't too far off from where Lindsey lived.

I had also wasted nearly an hour of star gazing and pretending I gave a shit about what they meant to her as we laid in the back of the truck. I felt like I was in high school again, but not in a good way. She was going too damn slow. I just wanted to fuck so I could get some sleep and she wanted to talk about her ex-boyfriend and how much he loved astrology and blah, blah, blah. It was pretty sad and if I cared, I would've driven her home instead of ripping down her panties and pushing up her mini skirt.

I shook my head, trying to concentrate on her body. She was still moaning and grinding underneath me, sweatin' up a storm. I was sweatin' too. The night air was too warm and I was terrified of mosquitoes biting up my ass since we were by the water.

Fuck, I was thinking about mosquitoes when there was a naked, fine ass, and tight female underneath me, calling my name. Maybe I was just tired? I stopped my hips for just a moment, rolling us around so that Lindsey was on top. She yelped and giggled at the twisted position, wasting no time. She was moving her hips faster than I could keep up, growling at the feel of me. I tossed my head back, feeling better now, less aware of where I was.

My eyes stayed shut as I held her hips, squeezing her flesh. She was definitely a lot thinner than I was accustomed too; her hip bone jutted out against my hands. I moved down to her thighs, embracing the bit of cushion they provided. I didn't have to do that with Crystal; her whole body was thick and nice. She used to think she was fat for some reason, but I loved how full her thighs were. I loved that her hips didn't feel like straight up bone. Holding those hips and ramming into that sweet body of hers was the best feeling in the world.

I could just feel how soft and warm she'd be. I could see her full breasts bouncing as she rode me; not like Seabiscuit, but in this slow, sensual way that told me she was gonna have me crying like a bitch after two minutes with her. Her heated, vanilla-scented skin, all mixed in with mine, holding and kissing me like it wasn't the millionth time we were making love.

Maybe that's why it felt so good because we were making love. I never knew what the hell that meant until I meant Crystal, but once I had it, nothing else felt the same.

"Oh, I'm gonna...I'm gonna..." Lindsey's voice came tearing through my head and I Crystal popped out of my mind when I opened my eyes and watched her face contort in ecstasy. Her pussy contracted around my dick and I moved my hips upward, trying to hold onto that sensation. It was enough because I was tired. I let myself go as she did the same, shaking and trembling. She collapsed on top of me, breathing against my sweat slick skin.

"You okay?" I asked after a moment. What I really wanted to say was 'get the hell off me', but that didn't seem appropriate. I was an asshole, but she was still young. I didn't want to hurt her feelings...yet.

"Yeah," she giggled, sitting up, pressing her palms against my chest as leverage, "That was...amazing." Her bright eyes grew brighter and I knew that look because I got it every time. She liked me now. She'd probably expect a phone call or even a hello the next time I saw her. Despite my reputation, women thought they were special every single time.

"Yeah, it was nice," I said simply, sitting up some so she'd get the picture. She was still smiling at me all googily eyed until our bodies detached. We both closed out eyes at the feeling before I took off my condom, tossing it out into the grass surrounding us. She giggled at that, and I smirked over my shoulder at her because I could imagine what the old folks would say when they came out here in the morning to feed the geese.

"Justin..." Lindsey said as we started adjusting our clothes.

"Hmm?" I grunted, not really liking post-sex conversations.

"There's this party next weekend at Jimmy Caldwell’s house..." I rolled my eyes when I turned my back to her to grab my t-shirt lying beside me. This was the shit I hated, "You should come. It'll be fun...He'll have a keg and everything." Yes, she was young and it was bothering me.

"Lindsey..." I started, turning back to face her as she slipped on her flip flops, "I'd love to, but I'm busy next weekend."

"Busy?" she inquired and stood up, bending down to grab the blanket. She took that as a sign to get up as well, "With what?" I folded the blanket up, trying not to get furthered annoyed by her investigation. Busy meant busy, I wanted to say.

"I have lots of stuff to do," I explained as evasively as before, "But I'll let you know...Right now I gotta get you home." She pouted, not even trying to hide her disappointment.

"Okay," she said simply, hopping out the back of my truck. I stood still for a moment, letting her climb into the passenger side before I stared at the lake, the full moon reflecting against the water. I could see the small bench by the water's edge. My Pop-pop and I used to fish from that bench. I had my first kiss at that bench. I told Crystal how I felt about her at that bench.

My gut twisted up in a weird way thinking back to what felt like so long ago. Her hair was curly then, framing her face. We had just finished swimming after a family barbeque. We aired dried as we watched the sunset over the lake. I could remember how much I loved her skin in the oranges and purples that blended in the sky. I remember thinking, as I stared at the side of her face, that I was never going to be happier than I was in that moment. I remember how bad my heart was beating when I kissed her shoulder to get her attention. I remembered how beautiful she looked when she smiled shyly as I kissed up her neck to her cheek before kissing her sweet mouth.

I snapped out of my gaze when I felt a tapping against my leg. I jerked away, looking down to find a confused Lindsey gazing up at me.

"It really takes that long to fold a blanket?" she asked and I looked down, realizing the blanket was still in my hands, unfolded. I sighed, balling it up under my arm and jumping onto the grass by the driver's side, feeling the muddy earth shape beneath my feet as I ignored her question.

"Lets get you home," I said, tossing the blanket into the between us as we both climbed into the front seat. I could feel Lindsey burning a hole into side of my head, but I revved my engine as I put the car in drive, unnecessarily speeding off so I could concentrate on driving as I pushed back the memory.

I was actually grateful to be at work today. Tina's shop was a haven compared to her place across the street. Her kids were driving me a little crazy and it wasn't helping matters that the AC broke in the living room, leaving me sweating on her couch all night. I didn't sleep at all and I felt it even more as my body relaxed in the coolness of the beauty salon; my eyes feeling heavy.

Despite all that and the fact that I had spent half my day running around her modest shop, coloring and sweeping and curling my ass off, I was still happy to be busy. I couldn't just blame the heat for my lack of sleep. I still wasn't used to sleeping alone just yet. Shit like that took time to get accustomed to when you're used to being held all night.

I frowned at the thought as I secured the towel around the neck of my current customer. She was some young blonde girl. I had heard from Irene at the gas station that she was Lindsey something or other. She had also mentioned it herself when she came in, smiling at me weird as she shook my hand. I wanted to smack the Bubblicious out her mouth as she continued to chomp on it like a poorly mannered Valley girl.

"How do you want this cut?" I asked, looking at her reflection in the vanity mirror that was identical to the ones in all ten of Tina's salon booths. All the stations were working today; apparently that rich Caldwell kid was throwing a party and every college age kid left in the town for summer was going, so all the ladies were here getting primped. It almost made me smile. I remember how excited I got for unsupervised house parties. I wasn't much older than these girls, maybe five years...maybe six. I felt so long ago when I was that young and bubbly; that carefree.

Life was never easy, but it wasn't this mundane and dreadful. I used to have dreams and aspirations. I used to be determined and excited for more things than a shot of whiskey and a nap.

"Not too short, just really the ends," Lindsey said between chomps, smiling brightly at me through the mirror. She was a pretty girl, I observed. The chunky black lashes around her eyes were too strong, I felt, for her baby face, but she still was attractive. Her long blonde hair was wet and nearly halfway down the back of her chair. I used my flip flop-clad foot to pump her up in her seat so I could get a better angle. I observed how the blue of my shirt brought out her eyes when I glanced up at the mirror to catch her eyes. She was already staring back at me, looking as weird as she did when she first came in.

"You know what you're wearing to this party?" I asked, making small talk to get a bigger tip. Lindsey beamed as I combed her hair down all around.

"I have a real nice fitted dress that's this hot little pink color," she gushed, "But I also wanted to wear this blue top I got from Sandy's shop last week...Oh, it's got ruffles and stuff; like it's real fancy!" I laughed lightly at her enthusiasm.

"You should go with the blue," I said, grabbing my scissors off the cluttered counter of my booth, "Your eyes would pop with blue on." I gave her a wink as she blushed at her reflection.

"You think so?" she inquired and I nodded, leaning down a bit to cut off the first even amount of hair.

"I know so, girl," I said confidently, making her giggle, "You'll be getting all the guys with those eyes and a little smile..." She squealed with delight as I snipped along.

"Well, actually, Miss. Crystal -"

"Crystal, please," I corrected even though I already did so a thousand times since she came in. The girl was going to make me feel older than I already did.

"Well, Crystal," she smiled, "There's just one guy..." I raised a brow, clipping halfway around.

"And what lucky boy is this?"

"He's more of a man, I'd say," Lindsey said mysteriously, further causing my brow to arch.

"Is he cute?" I inquired. She blushed and glanced away uneasily.

"I'm sorry, Mis-Crystal, I mean," she rambled, suddenly looking as flustered as one could. I had to stop cutting because she was fidgeting. What the fuck? I thought, watching her ramble. "Oh, I'm just stupid for even saying anything. I almost forgot - nevermind." She fell silent, pulling at the hem of her black and white polka dot sundress. I was glad she was done moving though I was thoroughly confused as I started layering her hair again.

"What are you talking about child?" I asked, "Why do you think you're stupid?" I asked gently, parting the hair at the side of her face.

"I mean...'cause you know him and I don't want you to feel mad or anything." I snipped some layers away, pushing down the pressure rising from my gut, telling me to end the fucking conversation, but I wanted to know. I needed to know if I was crazy or not.

"Who?" I asked simply, focusing on the layers, but my hand was starting to shake again like some damn crack addict. I struggled to snip an even layer of hair off.

"Well...I don't think I need to say his name or nothin'," Lindsey said, making me cut my eyes at her reflection. She stared back at me through the mirror, watching me watch her. I could see the fear in her bright blue eyes. I could see the guilt. I felt nauseous. I felt like fucking this girl up because I knew she didn't have just a crush on him. Justin wouldn't let her just crush on him. No woman got that kind of gleam in her eyes because of just a got damn cute man existed.

"Can I ask you something, Lindsey?" I said lowly, leaning closer to her because my co-workers were already glancing at us. I felt their eyes and saw some of their reflections out of my peripherals.

"Y-yes, ma'am," Lindsey said softly, looking like a beaten child. My palms itched the way they did when I wanted to smack somebody - more specifically Justin. I felt my whole body heating up.

"Did you fuck him?" I asked and her face flooded with a feverish blush that even colored her neck.

"I don't think -" I cut her off, not needing that bullshit.

"I know you did," I told her, my voice changing on me. It was harsher than I intended it to sound as a pressure inside me built up. Suddenly Lindsey didn't look so scared. She was looking kind of smug.

"That's not your business," she mumbled, "He said y'all ain't together." I felt a tear in my chest at the fact that he was gloating about that; like he wasn't really missing me. But why was I surprised? Why would he say we were still together? It would slow down his fucking, I'd bet.

"We ain't," I confirmed, even though it hurt to. Lindsey seemed to relax at the news, "That doesn't matter though. Justin ain't interested in you. I know him Lindsey; you were a one night thing." Lindsey turned in her seat to face me suddenly, making me flinch back because of how close her face was. I stood up, scissors in one hand, comb in the other.

"Maybe you don't know him," Lindsey argued, making me roll my eyes at her. If anybody knew Justin, it was me. "He likes me." He was supposed to love me and it didn't make a difference, I wanted to tell her, but I figured that wouldn't help.

"Believe what you want, Lindsey, he's never speaking to you again," I warned her, despite her arguing.

"We spoke for hours by the lake," Lindsey cried, "We talked about stars and stuff and he told me about fishin' out there-" I held my hand up to silence her. Lake? Fishing?

"What lake?" I asked, knowing that Millington had only two lakes in the whole town. One all the way up by Memphis and the other closest to Justin's parents' place.

"The lake where he grew up at," Lindsey said, smiling at me like she won. "I bet he ain’t ever take you to that lake. He said it was real special to him." I felt my heart sinking. He desecrated our spot. He fucked this infant bitch by the bench where he said he loved me. Of all the spots in this town.... Of all the places he could've done his shit...Why at one of the few spots where something good happened to us? Why at one of the spots where things used to make sense? I still went and sat on that bench sometimes so I could feel him; the real him... Now all I would see was Lindsey digging her nails into his fucking back.

"Get out of my chair," I said as calmly as possible, but I felt myself getting worked up. I felt like couldn't breathe right. I was breathing so hard I felt like I was hyperventilating. I was pissed. I was so fucking angry because he took that little bit of happiness from me. He knew I'd find out; I always find out.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Lindsey whined and I dropped the comb, the scissors still in my hand as I looked down, shaking my head. I tried to count to ten, backwards and forwards, but the numbers didn't make sense to me. They wouldn't stop being interrupted by the thought him enjoying that moment as much I knew he did. He probably fucked her on that got damn bench. He probably begged her to let him have her, right there as the sun set.

My eyes started burning with tears. Lindsey was still in my chair, asking me what my problem was. She kept screaming at me. She kept saying I was weird... and then the next thing I knew, she was screaming. I felt what I was doing. I saw it. I saw myself grabbing her hair, long as it was, pulling it until she yelped, my co-workers rushing to me, but not fast enough. I had grabbed a fistful of blonde locks and the brought the scissors to it, snipping off a chunk. The room fell silent as everybody gasped.

I was horrified when Lindsey turned to the mirror, her eyes falling on the reflection of my balled up hand where her hair stuck out from in-between my fingers. Her eyes fell on mine and I saw how young she was; how naive. She wasn't like the malicious whores Justin fooled around with. She really thought he liked her. She really had a crush and did something he wanted to do because she wanted him to like her more. I had been there. I had done that.

"My hair..." Lindsey whimpered. I dropped the scissors, letting them fall with a clank against the tiled floor. I saw Gina rush from her booth beside mine to get them. I didn't move from where I stood; I just stared at Lindsey, knowing that I had lost my mind again.

"I should go," I announced, knowing Christina would have my ass when she came into shop to find this out. All the girls would tell her; Lindsey would tell the whole town... I didn't have time to worry about that now though. I just needed to get out of the salon.

I ripped off my apron, letting it hit the floor, fumbling for my keys in my pocket as I walked swiftly out the door, leaving the salon in stunned silence.

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"Thank you so much for that shit, Crys," Tina barked at me as she balanced Dylan on one hip and picked up Jason's truck when she nearly tripped over it. There wasn't enough room in Tina's duplex. Katelyn's play pen was behind the sofa and I felt her kicking it through the mesh net surrounding her. Katelyn was just here for the week since Jenna, her mother, was off on some anniversary trip in New York with her husband. I told Tina she was crazy for volunteering to do that. She had enough shit to deal with, but Jenn and her were best friends since pre-K, so there was no doubt in her mind.

I didn't know how she did it alone when I was at the shop and she was running late. Jason was making so much noise with his cop car, vroomin' and zoomin' on the coffee table despite the fact that it left scratches on everything. I was getting irritated just listening to that in the moment, let alone every minute of the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry," I said, sounding as unremorseful as I felt. Lindsey was a minor upset. I had to pay for the complimentary hairstyle Danielle gave her to fix the chop I gave her. That was an extra forty bucks I had no business spending. I had just gotten an oil change the other day and Tina got her rent out of me. I didn't have much money and I was feeling it every day here. I never realized how much I was depending on Justin. Living with him didn't cost me anything - at least not financially. Plus he refused to let me contribute, even when I wanted to. I cleaned and cooked and stuck money in his wallet when he wasn't looking, but he'd buy me small gifts or take me out to eat... He even bought me these real nice flowers and a bottle of wine just 'cause...

"Jason, knock it off!" Tina yelled. Jason pouted fiercely, dropping down onto the floor as he ceased his cop noises. Katelyn started crying from her play pen as Tina sighed, pushing her long, brunette hair from her face. Dylan was giggling and pointing at Jason who stuck his tongue out like any five year old would. I glanced back at Tina who looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

"Jas, can you go get ready to wash up? Get Dylan a towel," I asked, smiling at him as he blew air from his lips and tossed his head back dramatically. His bowl cut was getting longer and I smiled as he pushed his bangs from his face.

"I don' wanna wash up," he whined, "I wash up every single day!"

"And you should," I said, "Now go on and get; I ain't telling you again." He narrowed his green eyes at me, but stood, dropping his cop car against the rug as he stomped off. Katelyn's crying had turned down to whimpering as I heaved myself from the sofa, walking around it to pick her up. I hugged her warm body to mine, letting her rest her cheek against my shoulder as I bounced up and down. She calmed down to silence, letting me know she was just getting tired. It was almost nine, so I wasn't surprised.

"I dunno what I'mma do," Tina finally spoke, sounding exhausted. I suddenly felt guilty about Lindsey. I didn't realize how much it stressed Tina out to have to even deal with a complaint. She had too much already. I was just a fourth child she had to worry about.

"I'm sorry, Tina," I apologized, for real this time, "Look, I'll wash up Dylan and Jason. You just put Kate down to sleep and then go lay down yourself." Tina shook her head as she placed Dylan down on his feet. He instantly went for the cop car on the floor, plopping down so hard that his sandy brown curls bounced. I walked over to hand her Katelyn, who easily slipped from one shoulder to the other, sighing in content when she wrapped her little arms around Tina's neck.

"So you got Dylan and-"

"You have the one year old and I have the demons," I said simply, waving her off as Jason came back into the room, wrapped in a towel, "Go on."

"I'm ready!" Jason announced, just as the door sounded. A light knock, but a knock that still made my heart jump. Tina wasn't expecting anybody by the way she stopped halfway towards the bedroom, glancing back at me expectantly. I shrugged and there was a knock again. Jason started for the door, but I yanked him back, giving him an annoyed look. He pouted and looked away from me.

I rolled my eyes, making my way to the door, leaning up against it to see through the peephole. All I saw was the little foyer Tina shared with her neighbor, lit by the outdoor light. The person obviously didn't want to be seen or was terribly short. I highly doubted the latter.

"Who the fuck is it?" I called out, Tina shushing Jason as he went to correct my cussin'. I turned to see them all huddled up together, Tina looking like she wanted to run. She didn't like living alone. Without Mitch around she basically lived in fear. Having me here was a bit of a comfort, I saw it in the way she slept without the light on anymore. It made me want to punch Mitch in the face for being such a selfish ass.

"Should I get the gun?" Tina whispered, covering up Jason's ears. I rolled my eyes, wishing she never even got that thing.

"No," I said simply, "Just get the kids-"

"Crystal, it's Justin." The voice hit me like bricks and we all jumped at the sound. They did it out of surprise and I did it out of shock.

"Justin?" I called back, just to be sure. I leant back on the door, standing on my tip toes to see through the peephole. Now he was standing there, glancing around. His big head looked even bigger with the obscured view.

"Can I come in?" I glanced back at Tina who was rolling her eyes and ordering the boys towards the bathroom. I waited until they were out of the living area, Tina turning to give me a look that said 'he better not put in a toe into my house', before I sighed.

"Justin, you need to go," I said, my anger and hurt from earlier returning quickly. My palm was itching again. I almost ripped the door open just so I could smack him.

"Open the damn door, Crystal," Justin said, kicking the door for emphasis. I jumped back, not expecting such a shift in his emotions. "This is bullshit!" I scoffed. I had some nerves getting frustrated.

"No, what's bullshit is you fucking with underage girls!" I spat, my voice rising with every word, "How old was she? Like five? You have to be kidding me, Justin!"

"Why does it matter? You left this time, not me. I can fuck who I want!"

"Don't blame me leaving for you sticking your got damn dick-"

"Crystal!" I turned my head in the direction of the voice. Tina looked like she wanted to murder me as I pushed myself off from the door. I could hear the water running from the bathroom, Jason and Dylan laughing together.

I forgot that this wasn't my house and Tina had a strong distaste for Justin anyhow, so cussin' at him while her kids could hear me wasn't exactly ideal. The motherly glare she was giving me told me to get him to leave or to take it outside. I felt like the first was impossible and the latter was unfavorable.

"He won't leave," I tried blaming him, but Tina rolled her eyes and stomped over to me, brushing my body out the way to unlock the door. I quickly put my hands over hers when she went to unhook the latch. I gave her a warning look. Opening that door to Justin was like unchaining an angered pit bull. Tina didn't look the least bit worried; probably because of that gun tucked in her nightstand.

"Justin, you listen to me," Tina spoke calmly, but firmly. I could hear Justin groaning from the other side, not wanting to deal with her, but what the fuck did he expect when he was banging on her door? "I'mma open this door and you're gonna tell Crystal what the fuck you want so you can go. I got my kids in the tub waiting on me and a baby that's tryna sleep. I ain't got time for your bullshit." It took a second for Justin to speak, his voice shaking.

"Fine, I'll speak my piece and go," he promised, but his tone wasn't as sincere as I would've liked. Tina glanced over at me before I removed my hands from hers, letting the door be unlocked. She pulled it open just a crack, enough for her to stick her shoulder through so she was halfway in and halfway out the door. I couldn't see Justin through the crack, just his silhouette.

"I'm serious Justin," Tina warned one last time, "No bullshit."

"All right, all right," Justin whined as Tina backed up, making me step back as well. Justin slowly moved forward in the door, pushing it open to let himself in. His eyes were on mine. Seeing him made my whole body tremble. He looked different every time; better. I looked down his face, now covered in a bit of stubble. His hair was buzzed and his white t-shirt was fitted. I could see his jeans were light denim and a little loose on his slim waist. I could also see his tan work boots weren't laced up which meant he raced from wherever it was he was from to get here. Didn't make any sense to me.

"I'mma leave y'all alone," Tina announced after I shifted my gaze back to his face. He was still staring down at me, not bothering to turn to shut the door, but reaching back blindly to do so. "Crystal, call me if you need me. I'll be right up the hall, ya hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear ya," I replied, not breaking our gaze on each other. I could see Tina walking up the hall behind Justin's shoulder, glancing back with an uncertainty she always had about us being alone. Shit, I was uncertain about us being alone.

Justin broke the staring contest, his eyes scanning my body without any shame. I suddenly felt underdressed in my gym shorts and tank top, but I wasn't expecting company - especially his. I was about to lay my ass down on the couch and watch some TV until I fell asleep to something on Nick at Nite. I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I were wearing a bra.

"What?" I asked, already annoyed that he was just checking me out. Did he expect me to fuck him in a house full of my children? Did he come here to gloat about his Lindsey conquest? "I'm fuckin' tired, Justin."

"Well, I'm tired too," Justin snapped back, making me roll my eyes.

"Maybe if you'd actually try sleeping instead of resting between some skank's legs -"

"Yeah, I tried that too," Justin said, cutting me off, "Whether I'm sleeping alone or not sleeping at all, I still spend the whole night thinking about you." I turned away from him, staring off to the side. My leg was bouncing up and down because I didn't want to hear that fucking shit. It was just a distraction, his words. He'd say anything to get me soft.

"Don't act like you care about me," I said distastefully. I ignored the pang of hurt in my chest. "You know I'm fine. I'm with Tina for fuck's sake. Why do you need to worry anyway?"

"Because you're not with me and that's enough to make me worry," Justin shot back, "You don't even want to be here, Crystal. Why are you torturing yourself?"

"You don't know what I want," I said, cutting my eyes at him, "I thought you were never going to ask me to come back to you again." Justin rolled his eyes at the reminder. I knew it was stupid to even bring up. We constantly went back on our words.

"Yeah, I did say that..." he mumbled off, "But I'm here because I didn't mean it."

"You don't mean anything that comes out of your damn mouth," I chastised. Justin momentarily twisted up his face like he was going to cuss me out, but a second later decided against it. I watched as he took a deep breath.

"I've got work early," he said randomly. I shrugged him off.

"Good for you."

"Crystal!" Justin yelled before swallowing it down. He even gave a glance behind him to make sure Tina wouldn't come running down the hall to shoot him. "What I meant to say is that I don't want to be here all night fightin' with you. I take good care of you -" I snorted a bitter laugh, much to Justin's annoyance.

"I'm sorry," I said sarcastically, "Please go on." Justin took a huge step forward, closing in on me. We were close enough to make me uncomfortable, but not enough for him to tower over me. I looked away because I wasn't expecting that smell of his soapy skin to be so strong. I felt my whole body relax in the sense of familiarity and nostalgia.

"Look at me," Justin demanded, but I kept my head facing towards the wall. "Fine, don't look at me." I felt myself ready to face him just to spite his words, but I knew that's what he wanted. The way he chuckled when I didn't move confirmed my thoughts. "You're good."

"I'm not going back to your place so you might as well go," I told him sternly.

"You really like sleeping on that thing every night?" Justin said and I could see him out the corner of my eyes nodding towards the couch. My pillows were propped up against one side, so I couldn't even deny that I was sleeping out here. It made me mad that he using that as a reason to go back with him.

"It's safer than lying next to you," I shot back. He took another step forward and I took a step back, knowing he was loving the fact that I couldn't stand being that close to him.

"But is it better?" he asked softly. My whole being said Hell no! But I kept my lips shut. Justin sighed heavily when I didn't respond. "I'm sick of holdin' my pillow, Crystal. I just want you home," he said, sounding pathetic as all get out. I was glad not to be looking at him; I knew he was getting those big, glassy eyes and I was fighting myself. I felt the kid in me relishing in the mention of home. I never had one of those. I never felt like home existed...until Justin. Until we moved in together and decorated the way I always wanted. He let me choose every color and bedspread. He painted with me and he let me sell half his shit so all of mine would fit. I thought it was going to be perfect. I thought it was going to be so right.

"You need to go," I cried, my voice cracking despite my efforts. I whipped around because I felt my tears break free, sliding down my cheeks. I tried to wipe them away even though it was obvious that I had gotten emotional. I hated doing this shit. I didn't even like to cry with myself, let alone with him standing there. He didn't even yell or grab me. I was just crying because I was stupid.

"I didn't come here to make you cry," Justin spoke softly, sincerely. If there was any indication that Justin did give a shit about me, it was when I cried. He couldn't stand crying women. It made him feel all weird. If I weren't so embarrassed, I'd be happy about making him uncomfortable, at least.

"Then what the fuck did you come here for?" I barked, turning back to face him because, shit, he already knew I was crying. The moment he saw my tear stained face, he looked away, taking in an uneven breath.

"I saw Lindsey," Justin said, "She told me that my crazy bitch ass girlfriend cut half her hair off...And that's a direct quote." Justin looked completely amused while telling me the news. I tried not to find it funny that she was so mad about it, but in the back of my mind, I knew I'd laugh if I weren't in such a sour mood.

Justin glanced back at me, raising a brow as he waited for me to respond. I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to laugh or say it served her right or tell him I did it because she fucked him and it made me jealous....but I kept my face hard, unwavering narrowed eyes in his direction. He smirked though and leaned down a bit so his face was leveled with mine.

"That wasn't very nice, Miss. Crystal," Justin said tauntingly. I stared at him still, my face softening a bit because his eyes were so much nicer up-close. You could see all the grays and blues in them. But then I remembered how hard it was to look in those eyes when he told me he loved me. I remembered how many nights on that bench we spent staring at each other or kissing in the grass out by that lake. Our lake.

"It wasn't very nice of you to fuck her by that lake either," I said, my voice shaking. I saw the flash of recognition in Justin's eyes. He stood tall again, glancing away from me.

"She lives near there," he tried to defend, looking back at me. "Right by my mama's house."

"Well you should've fucked her at her place," I shot back.

"She lives with her parents," Justin admitted, reluctantly. I laughed, surprising myself and him. Of course she'd live at home!

"Maybe you shouldn't fuck around with children," I scoffed.

"She's nineteen," Justin defended weakly. I stared at him, wondering if he really thought that was helping his case.

"Great, that changes everything," I said sarcastically. "Well, I know you enjoyed that shit. Fucking her there. You'd piss on your grandmother's grave if you knew it would bother me any."

"Oh come the hell on, Crystal," Justin complained and I felt a little guilty. The woman had died just two days shy of his twenty-sixth birthday. He still couldn't eat a piece of cobbler because it reminded him of her.

"I really don't know why you bothered coming here this late," I said, even though it wasn't late at all. I just wanted the attention off my comment.

"I came here to let you know that my locks haven't changed," he said, turning around, finally giving up. I felt relieved and disappointed at the same time when he turned open the doorknob, yanking it open before turning back to me. His eyes sucked me in because I could see he really wanted me to go with him. He really did miss me. He had asked me twice already. I felt myself calling me, telling me that nobody else in the world wanted me, so I shouldn't push him away, but another part told me he just wanted a warm body and a familiar face.

"Are you going or what?" I asked, looking away. I heard Justin sigh.

"I'm going," he told me, waiting. I rolled my eyes and looked up at him. For a moment he just stared back with the same soft eyes. "By the way, Steve's home, in case you're wondering." I was wondering. I had even considered going to visit him, but I didn't want to run into Justin. I didn't want to spend time with his family because I already missed them enough.

"That's good," I said simply, "I'm glad he's better." Justin nodded, glancing over me one last time before quietly stepping out and shutting the door behind him.

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I was cussing myself out for the entire twenty minute drive up here. Then I cried for a half hour when I parked and cut off the ignition. It was real dark and nearly two in the morning, so I was safe to let it out, to scream and punch my steering wheel because I was so fucking stupid, but I was tired. I was weak.

The buzzer didn't even work at this crap building, so I was heading up on the elevator within seconds. I didn't remember pushing the button or walking down the hall, but the jingling of my keys echoed in my ears as I sighed to myself, halfway not believing it, halfway always expecting it.

It was dark when I crept inside. I tripped over boots I couldn't see and I angrily kicked them over as I peeled off my hoodie, letting it fall on the floor. I locked the door behind me, soundlessly. I slipped out of my flip flops as I walked to my left, down the narrow hall. The floor creaked despite the carpet, and I listened for movement, but heard none. Only my heart was pounding in my ears.

The door at the end of the hall was barely cracked as I placed my palm against it, slowly pushing it open. I winced at the obnoxious noise it made, desperate for some oil. My eyes instinctively fell on the bed I had dreamt of sleeping in since I left, but the body I had expected to see was nowhere in sight. There was just a mess of twisted sheets and a box fan humming in his window. I felt my disappointment flooding in.

"Jesus Christ, Crystal!" I jumped, turning around to face the direction of the voice. I stumbled back when Justin appeared from behind his door, pushing it closed. I glanced down at the steel bat in his hand and then up at him, taking in the view of his milky chest against the moonlight streaming into his bedroom. He dropped the bat to the floor haphazardly, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Sorry," I whispered, feeling foolish for even being here.

"It's okay," he assured just as softly. We stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. We weren't good with saying everything we were feeling, but it was right in our eyes, especially me. I would never say that I missed him so much it hurt so I had to come back. No, I would never say that, but Justin knew that I was creeping into his apartment trying to slip into bed with him quietly so we could just pretend these last couple of weeks never happened.

"The AC's broke at Tina's," I said, trying to make that seem like an excuse. Justin gave me a soft smile, something you would've missed if you didn't know him. He knew I was full of shit, but didn't call me on it. He knew I'd deny it if he did anyway.

"I've missed you too," he said, just to be smart. I didn't respond, but I took the initiative to unbutton my shorts, cutting through the bullshit. I watched his eyes fall when I yanked them down and kicked them off. My lacey black boy shorts didn't match my red and white striped bra when I pulled off my tank, but Justin didn't care as his eyes slowly traveled up my petite frame before stopping at my face.

He walked towards me and I didn't move. I let my heart pick up speed again as he did, taking in a breath before he slammed right against me, wrapping his arm around my waist and the other around my shoulder to hold my neck in place when he kissed me.

Damn it to hell if he didn't kiss me.

My whole body sighed and I fell against him, my limp arms coming alive to pull him closer, rubbing over his shaved head and freckled shoulders. My heart jumped when he grabbed the back of my thighs to lift me up around his waist so he wouldn't have to bend so low to kiss me. Our mouths meshed together and his lips were so soft and warm as he stumbled towards his bed, moaning against my mouth when I slipped my tongue against his.

I fell deeper into the kiss, tasting him and feeling his hands all over my back and ass before we pulled apart to breathe for half a second. We fell against his cool sheets sideways, fall forcing us to break our kiss. I placed my hand against Justin's chest, feeling the rapid pace of his heartbeat. I backed up from him, never breaking from his line of vision as I got on my knees against the mattress, reaching to hook my bra. Justin crawled into the bed after me, peeling the straps from my arms to toss the material across the room somewhere.

He grabbed my waist, flipping me down onto the bed like I weighed nothing. I yelped in surprise as he chuckled, making me giggle despite myself. He took that moment to cup my cheek, searching my eyes for too much before I propped myself up on my elbows to kiss him. My leg wrapped around his hip and he ran his hands against my thigh and down my calf, settling between my legs. His lips left mine, traveling down my cheek and chin and neck as he pressed himself against me. I welcomed his weight and the feel of his skin against mine, chest to chest. He was so warm and hard against my soft flesh that I felt overpowered by him in a good way.

He was caressing all over my body as he ran his tongue over my collarbones, looking to go slow, but I had waited too long. I wanted him now when I wasn't thinking about anything else but his skin and his strength.

"Justin," I moaned as he kissed behind my ear, "I can't wait." He shifted halfway off me, reaching between us to pull down my underwear. I used my feet to get them all the way off when he got them halfway down my legs. I went to yank off his boxers, but he grabbed my wrist gently, groaning against my neck.

"Slow down, baby," Justin breathed, coming up to kiss my mouth slowly, running his tongue across my bottom lip, but not deepening the kiss. Even in the dark I could see the light in his eyes, making my chest feel weird.

"I want you," I admitted, desperate to just ease the pull in my gut, "Now." Justin moaned at my words, his hand sliding down my stomach until I felt the feather light touch of his fingertips against the wetness between my legs. My eyes fluttered closed when he slipped his fingers over my clit, circling it.

"You want me?" he asked teasingly, his lips moving against my own. I groaned in frustration and pleasure when he pressed harder against my clit, moving faster, but I didn't have time for his freak games, no matter how good his fingers felt.

"Fuck me," I moaned, feeling heated all over as I reached down for him, grabbing him through his boxers. The feel of his warmth through the fabric was enough to make me come right then and there. I watched as his lids lowered and he pressed his mouth to mine, this time with a passion that matched what I was feeling. Slow was out the window now and his boxers were gone before I could tell how.

He lied on top of me fully, adjusting himself at my entrance. I grabbed the sheets on either side of me, bracing myself, and with good reason.

Justin slipped into me swiftly; one stroke was all it took to have him stretching out my walls, filling me up into the depths of my stomach as we both called out, arching ourselves against one another. Justin grunted in satisfaction when he pulled back nearly all the way and slammed right back into me, making me forget about the sheets so I could rake my dull nails against his back instead as he continued to move in me at a hard and moderate pace. Every thrust had me making a whimpering sound that did nothing to justify the extreme fire in my veins.

"Look at me," Justin demanded; hand against my cheek as I forced myself to look at him through heavy lidded eyes. He rolled his hips seductively into mine, coercing me to moan loudly at the feel of him. "Do I feel good to you, baby?"

"Fuck yes," I panted, grabbing his ass for emphasis. "Faster." I barely got the request out when his hips were slamming back into me, quicker than I was prepared for. I couldn't stop his name from slipping from my lips as he placed his forehead against mine, breathing heavily.

"Damn, Crystal," he called out to me, making me shiver at the sound of my name, "Nobody's better than you." I believed him. Feeling him like this, wrapped up in me and moaning every which way without hesitation, made him believable. I knew Justin wouldn't say half this shit to those other girls. He was all about getting himself off - being in control. With me it was different. He wanted to please me. He wanted to see that I wanted him, even when I claimed I didn't. Even when I said I hated his fucking guts. I was the only woman he could never say no to; the only woman who he wouldn't get bored with.

I felt the pressure from my core boiling over as I grinded up against him, trying to reach my peak. Justin's hand steadied my hips as he slowed his pace a bit.

"Crystal, tell me you love me," he called and I looked just looked at him, "Say it," he persisted, hands firmly pinning my hips to the mattress so I couldn't move when I tried to grind against him to distract him. Those eyes; those sweet blue eyes on that innocent face that could've fooled the devil into going to church, were looking down at me, waiting.

"Justin," I breathed, my voice exciting him enough to make him pick up his pace.

"Yes, baby," he groaned, "Tell me." I felt the warmth doubling over as I hugged him to me, feeling him trembling in my arms, knowing he was close too.

For a moment I considered allowing him to pound into me until I came, never saying what I felt. It would happen. Justin was at a point where he needed to get off, regardless of what I said. But he was holding my gaze, watching the faces I knew I was making because of him. Because nobody else ever made me feel this damn good.

"Oh, damn it," I moaned, not knowing if it was from pleasure or from giving into him, "I love you, Justin." That was all it took to make him ram into me harder and faster, making his bed frame creak. I felt bad for his neighbors because the scream that ripped through my throat was unstoppable like the rush of heat that ripped through me. I was convulsing; clamping down on him with such force that he crumbled at the feeling. I felt his warmth inside me as mine took over my entire being. Even my hair felt like it was on fire before I came crashing down, my body spent as I tried to catch my breath.

For a moment it was just my heart beat and his and then my head cleared and the noise of the fan and the breeze it provided against my sweat slick skin took over my reality. Justin was lying over my body, still inside me as we tried to get his breathing right. My hands continued to rub along his back as he buried his face into my neck, kissing sweetly along my pulse. He purred against my skin, sounding content as ever. The feeling was mutual because my body was at ease and in a very happy place.

"Damn, girl," Justin mumbled into my skin, chuckling at himself. "Took you long enough." I wasn't sure if he was referring to the sex or the 'I love you', but either way, I couldn't stop the smirk on my face as he rolled onto his side, pulling us apart. We both whimpered at the loss, but he hooked my knee over his waist smoothly to keep us close.

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, closing my eyes as the weight of the long day came over me. I hugged him to me, snuggling into his nook beneath his jaw. "Time for sleep." Justin 'mmm'ed in agreement, hugging me to him. I was halfway asleep when he said my name.

"Crystal?" I grunted in response, waiting for him to speak. I felt his lips against my forehead as he rubbed the small of my back soothingly, "I love you too, by the way." I tried to ignore how good it felt to hear it, but my insides felt like jelly every time. Justin's bullshit was tiring, but the need for his sincerity was an overpowering vice of mine.

I didn't respond. I just held him a little tighter and let the first peaceful night's rest I had in weeks take over me.