The opening chords of Usher’s “There goes my baby” start to play on her Blackberry and she can’t help the smile that grows on her face.
“Timberlake!”
“Dawsen!”
Jaclynn laughs when Justin responds with the same amount of enthusiasm she had.
“What are you doing?” she asked, and he could hear the smile in her voice.
“Talking to you, Rookie,” he replied, using one of his many nicknames for her.
“I know that; I meant what’s up?”
“A man can’t call and talk to his friend?”
“Come on, Timberlake; you act like I haven’t known for the past 6 years.” They both chuckle at her statement.
“Alright, you got me. I was going to see if you wanted to grab coffee on me as a payment for letting me borrow your History notes.”
“Sure, but you didn’t have to buy me coffee, hun. I would’ve let you borrow them for free.”
“Ah, noted for future reference. So I’ll meet you in the UC in about an hour?” Justin asked.
“Sounds great to me. See you there!” Jaclynn replied before hanging up. She was still smiling. But then again when it came to Justin all she did was smile. Their relationship spanned 6 years; they’d met their junior year of high school when she transferred schools. They were both in the band and were even drum majors together their senior year. Jaclynn wasn’t sure how to describe their relationship really. An outsider would see them and think that they were dating and had been for many years from their flirtatious interactions, but in reality that wasn’t true. They did try to get out of the ‘friend zone’ once when they were in high school; even hooked up, but it didn’t work like either of them planned. Jaclynn was just happy that that minor blip in the road didn’t destroy their friendship. She tried to convince herself that it was the best decision when they decided to just remain friends after their brief fling senior year of high school, but failed at it then and was still failing at it now.
Both she and Justin had had numerous significant others throughout their undergrad career, but the only relationship that seemed to last was their friendship. They hadn’t planned on attending the same college, but with the University of Texas came knocking on their doors offering her a scholarship in Criminal Psychology and him a scholarship in Music they accepted and went from co-drum majors to neighbors.
Jaclynn was both shocked and pleased that her friendship with Justin had lasted all four years of their undergraduate careers. She hadn’t stayed in contact with too many people from high school aside from him and her close circle of 7 best friends. She’d stayed Facebook friends with her alumni class, but aside from the usual wall post or poke, she really didn’t talk to many people from her graduating class of over 700 high school students. In fact, out of that huge graduation class, Justin was the only guy she’d stayed in close contact with…and that had to mean something, right?
Jaclynn grabbed her netbook and History textbook and stuffed them in her tote before taking her iPod off of its dock and grabbing her Blackberry Curve. She had a few stops to make on campus before she went to the University Center to meet Justin and didn’t feel like coming back to her room between them. She went down to the front desk to check her mailbox, pulling out the usual flyers for Resident Life programs and random flyers from the school; but what caught her eye was a ruby red envelope. She trashed everything else and slid the envelope open, pulling out the piece of white cardstock.
I’m your secret admirer,
You’re the one I desire..
From the first time we talked, my feelings for you sparked like fire
Please try to understand,
I’m afraid to let my feelings show,
But I don’t want to be left alone...
I just want to hold you close and never let you go..
But so far all I have are dreams of you
I never thought it was possible to fall in love with you..
You’re so sweet and caring..
I must be dreaming..
I’m your secret admirer,
If only you knew that my love for you has been set on fire
But I’m trying to be careful,
I don’t want to be left heartbroken..
I’m just your secret admirer,
but that’s not all I want to be…
MEET ME ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE UC THIS FRIDAY (2/12/2010) at 5 P.M. & COME PREPARED TO FEAST ON MY LOVE
The Student Government approval stamp at the bottom of the cardstock was what made Jaclynn remember what month it was. February. Great. That meant Valentine’s Day was right around the corner and for the second year in a row she didn’t have anyone to spend it with. Her past 2 relationships had ended before the corporate holiday and she planned on forgetting about this one too, until this stupid card had come in the mail. Great. Now her ‘Secret Admirer’ would be plaguing her mind for the rest of the week. Jaclynn sighed and stuffed the card in her tote before heading off to her advisor’s office and then off to meet Justin for coffee and the exchanging of History notes.
***
Friday came and Jaclynn was a nervous wreck. She’d missed her first class because she’d stayed up too late the night before trying to pick out an outfit to wear to the school sanctioned mass unveiling of ‘Secret Admirers’ and she still had no clue what she was going to put on. She couldn’t focus in the classes that she did attend, to busy trying to figure out who could be her secret admirer. No one had been paying her any kind of special attention lately, well no one aside from that sophomore in her Criminal Theory class, Dexter. He was cute in a frat boy/jock way, but that was about it. He'd been flirting with her since the semester began, and couldn't seem to take the hint that she wasn't interested in being notch number 35 in his bedpost. Jaclynn watched other girls in her class and around campus fall over themselves trying to get Dexter to notice them, and apparently he noticed it too since he threw that in Jaclynn's face when she turned him down.
"Do you know how much ass I turn down a night? You should be honored that I'm even asking you out," he exclaimed when Jaclynn declined his dinner invitation.
"Honored? Wow, I can't believe you just said that. Well listen here Kanye," she stated, referring to the now infamous rapper, "why don't you go find one of those girls who throw so much ass at you out; because I'm not interested!"
Dexter's constant pestering seemed to stop after that display of public humiliation two weeks prior, but every now and then she would still catch him throwing her a sly wink. Like now.
"Ugh," she shivered with disgust and prayed to God that he wasn't her secret admirer.
***
4 P.M. couldn’t come soon enough, but when it did Jaclynn raced to her room to get ready for the ‘Secret Admirer’ program. She had an hour to pick an outfit, fix her hair and do her make-up before she was due on the University Center’s second floor. After twenty minutes of rooting around in her closet she decided on a solid red tunic button-down and a pair of dark denim skinny jeans. She grabbed her black ballet flats and pulled her hair back in a high bun before doing some neutral make-up. Jaclynn gave herself a once-over in her full-length mirror and was satisfied. She wasn’t too dressed up, but definitely looked presentable and cute for this. Besides, whoever was her secret admirer had definitely seen her in worse if they were a student there. There have many a days when she didn’t feel like putting on real clothes and opted on wearing a tank top and one of her many pairs of UT Longhorns sweatpants to class. Jaclynn smiled at her reflection and grabbed her ID card and Blackberry before heading out the door and towards the University Center.
She arrived at 5 P.M. on the dot and was surprised to see that she was one of about 40 girls lined up outside the doors that led to the open space that the second floor of the building offered. The president of Student Government was there, standing in the front of the line, keeping everyone out of the room until it was ready for them. Nothing ever started on time on this campus.
“Okay everyone,” the blond girl spoke up, “this is how it’s going to go. Inside this room are long tables lined up against the walls. On those tables are various snack foods. What you’re going to do is look for the snack food or foods that you think are significant to you and the person you think is your secret admirer. Once you think you know who it is, walk to the microphone that will be at the front of the room and say that person’s name into it. If you’re correct then that person will walk out. If not…well let’s just hope you guess correctly.”
So that’s what the whole ‘be prepared to feast on my love’ thing was about.
Jaclynn could hear chatter of excitement from the other girls in line, but she was fighting the butterflies in her stomach that were begging to be freed. No. She could do this. What did she have to lose? Besides, this guy, whoever he was, had sought her out so half the battle had already been won, right?
The double doors flew open and the 40 women in line stormed in the open area. The student government chick wasn’t lying; there was snack food lined up as far as the eye could see in the place. Various brands of Twinkies, donuts, chips, candies, sodas, waters, just every kind of bad food that could be eaten on a college campus was in that room. Within minutes she heard people stepping up to the microphone saying the name of their male suitors and seeing the guys walk out and greet the girls they admired. Squeals were heard randomly throughout the room and Jaclynn was starting to get more and more upset because she had no clue who her secret admirer was. She’d spent time at each table analyzing its contents and the only thing she held in her hand was a bottle of Aquafina water. But honestly that could indicate dozens of guys. Anyone who knew her knew that she only drank Aquafina water because she liked the way the filtered water tasted. She approached the ‘Ramen Noodle’ table and saw a packet of the ‘Hot & Spicy Chili’ ones and smiled, thinking back on the first time she and Justin had shared a meal on campus.
It was the day before classes were supposed to start their freshman year and she’d invited him over for Ramen noodles and Dr. Pepper. That was also the night she found out that she couldn’t boil water. The two of them still laughed about that night and her lack of cooking skills to this day. And whenever they felt the need to share a meal they either went out for it or Justin used the skills he learned from his mother.
Jaclynn was still smiling when she reached to grab for the pack of noodles when she felt someone snatch it from her grasp. She turned and glared at the brunette, but was met with an unfazed gaze; the brunette didn’t care because she’d figured out who her secret admirer was and was off in a flash to go say ‘Derek’s’ name into the microphone. A tall blond guy in a fraternity t-shirt walked out from behind the veil that the ‘Secret Admirers’ were and enveloped the brunette in hug as she squealed with excitement. Jaclynn felt a pang of jealously course through her; she wanted to gag at the public display of affection that the two of them were displaying; at the public displays of affection that were displayed all across the open room, but deep down she wanted that. She wanted to experience that with her secret admirer, who she secretly wished was Justin, but would never utter that wish to a single soul.
They were nearing the half hour mark of the event and it seemed as if everyone had figured out their secret admirer except Jaclynn. And on top of that the member of Student Government who was in charge of the even was approaching the microphone to signal that they were about to wrap up the event. Perfect. Just perfect. Once again she was left standing there with no one and nothing but a damn water bottle. Jaclynn heard the nerve-grinding feedback of the sound system and chose that moment to leave, citing her allergy to strawberries to those who gave her quizzical looks and pointing to the 2 huge bowls of the fruits next to the microphone.
Jaclynn burst through the double doors and could feel the tears prickling the backs of her eyeballs. Seriously? She couldn't believe this. Couldn't believe that she'd been made a fool once again in the name of love. She wanted to slide down one of the walls and curl up into a fetal position and cry, but she couldn't do that here, not in a place this public. It was already bad enough that she was the only one in a room full of 40 girls who didn't have a secret admirer like her invite said; she didn't need the entire campus to see her public breakdown in a matter of minutes on various social networks on top of that.
Jaclynn took 3 deep breaths and steadied herself before walking towards the other set of double doors that led to the staircase to exit the building. She was about fifteen paces or so from the doors when she saw someone approaching the doors from the opposite side. It was Justin. Dressed in a pair of dark jeans, a white button down top and a black vest he looked sexier than he usually did and Jaclynn felt her heart race with excitement. What was he doing up here? He couldn’t have been heading to the ‘Secret Admirer’ shindig; last time she checked he was talking to one of the GPhiB girls on campus. But there he was, walking through the double doors with a single yellow rose in his right hand…her favorite flower.
Justin smirked at his friend when he saw her frozen in place with a confused look on her face.
“Are you late for this?” she asked, pointing back towards the room where the event was being held.
“I am actu…”
Jaclynn didn’t let him finish his sentence. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a searing kiss. His lips were heaven to her, they felt like so familiar and comforting like home. The force of her pull made him stumble forward and his weight pushed them against the wall, him pinning her back to it. Jaclynn threw an arm around his neck and her back arched off the brick support and towards his when she felt him suckle her bottom lip between his. She felt him wrap his right arm around her waist and gripped her hip before pulling back from the kiss to take a breath.
“Be still my fluttering heart,” she mumbled to her racing organ. Justin smiled at her and gave her lips a soft peck. The two of them stood in that embrace for a few moments, breathing each other’s air and looking at each other like they’d just discovered the meaning of life.
“Wait, don’t you have to get in there?” Jaclynn asked barely above a whisper. Justin chuckled and used his free hand to stroke her cheek affectionately.
“Why would I need to go in there when the person I’m here for is right here with me?” A look of shock flashed across her face when he said that.
“Come on; don’t act like you didn’t know it was me. You grabbed the bottle of Aquafina.”
“Which could mean anyone since everyone knows that this is the bottled water I prefer,” she quipped.
“True; where’s the noodles? I thought that those would’ve been a dead giveaway,” he smiled. Her face mimicked his and he pecked her lips once again.
“I wasn’t sure. I thought you were dating that Gamma Phi Beta girl.”
“Who? Robin?” Jaclynn nodded and Justin shook his head ‘no’.
“She needed a date for her semi-formal and I agreed to take her at the last minute. You know that it’s you; that it’s always been you.”
“And to think I thought you only kept me around all these years to tease me,” she joked before capturing his lips once again. She loved that Justin was able to be so passionate with a closed-mouth kiss. She loved that he was able to convey what he wanted to say without even opening his mouth.
Justin’s mouth moved from her lips to her jaw to her neck and Jaclynn couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips when he kissed her pulse point.
“It’s always,” kiss, “been,” kiss, “you.”
His arm tightened around her waist and rested his lips on her shoulder blade, breathing in her scent.
“You always smell like vanilla,” he mumbled against her skin, “and since high school whenever I smell this scent I always think of you.” Jaclynn felt him smile against her skin and her heart began racing again. She took a deep breath and removed her arm from his neck before cradling his face between her hands and bringing it to face her.
“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that?” she asked in a small voice.
“What? That you smell like vanilla?” he replied, his cerulean eyes sparkling. Jaclynn got lost in them momentarily. It wasn’t like she’d never seen them before, but it felt like it. She felt as if she was seeing Justin for the first time for who he really was. He was Justin Timberlake, her Justin. The goofball from her high school who’d become so much more. The former band nerd who became her rock, her confidant, her pillow to cry on. The fellow alumnus who had stolen her heart and in the process had given willingly given his over to her.
“No, silly,” she chuckled, and Justin used that opportunity to give her another chaste kiss.
“What?” he began, “That you’re it for me? Well it’s true, love.”
There he went again with one of his numerous nicknames for her. But this time, this one felt different. Jaclynn could hear the honesty and compassion in his tone when he called her “love” and she reveled in it. It was so much more than just a nickname; it was how he felt for her; and for the first time she was able to see that.
“What do you say we take this little party back to my place?” she asked and laughed when she saw him cock an eyebrow mischievously.
“Why Ms. Dawsen, are you trying to proposition me?”
“Is it working?” she smirked.
“Maybe…”
“Well then I am. Let’s go.” Jaclynn grabbed his hand in hers and led the way back to her room.
The two of them hadn’t made it even made it inside her front door all the way before their hands were flying all over each other. Within moments she had his vest off and his shirt unbuttoned.
“Whoa there tiger,” Justin chuckled. He took her hands in his and brought her palms up to his mouth, kissing each one sweetly before bringing them up behind his neck and wrapping them around there.
“We have all night; love,” he said, gripping her hips softly, “and I plan on worshipping your body for most of it. Is that okay?” Jaclynn couldn’t do anything but nod. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute and her panties had been soaked since their lip-lock in the University Center.
“But I wanna take care you too,” she said, removing her hands from around his neck and using them to ease his button down off his torso. The article of clothing fell to the ground with a soft thud and Jaclynn couldn’t help but admire Justin's physique in his white wifebeater. She let her fingers trail down his chest and bunched them at the end of the shirt, pulling it out of the waistband of his jeans and letting her fingers dance across his abdomen. She heard the slight intake of his breath and felt his muscles flex beneath her touch. This wasn’t the first time they’d had sex and Jaclynn knew these signs. He was about to lose this battle and she was going to get her way with him. As much as she loved making love to him that wasn’t what she wanted that night. She knew that no one was able to blow her back out like him and that’s what she wanted that night. All that slow and sensual shit would have to wait til another day. Justin knew that he was about to lose all reserve and grabbed her hands once again to gain control. He kissed her fingertips individually before guiding her to her bedroom.
The two of them were too wrapped up in each other to turn on any lights when they came in so the only visual aids they had were the lamps that were turned on in her living room area and in her bedroom. It wasn’t like he needed them anyway. He’d been in her dorm room enough times that he knew the place like the back of his hand. He motioned for her to sit on the edge of the bed and dropped to his knees in front of her. Jaclynn gave him a quizzical look.
“Relax, I got this,” he smirked, “tonight is going to be about you,” Justin stated before removing her ballet flats. He slowly rose to his feet and offered his hands to her. Once she accepted he pulled her to her feet and began removing her clothes as if she were a precious gift on Christmas morning. He kissed every part of her body that he exposes and once she was standing there in just her matching baby blue lace bra and panty set he took a step back and admired her beauty. Jaclynn knew that this wasn’t the first time he’d seen her exposed like this, but it felt like it was. The passion that was burning in his eyes was a something new for her and she dropped her gaze to the floor out of the intensity of it.
“I love you,” he said softly and her eyes shot up to meet his.
“I do,” he reassured her, “I don’t know what took me so damn long to realize it, but I plan on showing you just how much I love you tonight.” He softly guided her body to lie down on the bed and pulled her so that she was right on the edge. Justin dropped to his knees once again and ran his hands over her smooth mocha thighs and calves. He picked up her right leg and left a trail of kisses from her inner ankle to her inner thigh before placing it over his shoulder and repeating the same action on her left leg. If her panties were wet before, they were drenched now. Jaclynn’s body was writhing out of need for him and Justin didn’t keep her waiting long. He placed a kiss on the waistband of her boyshorts and the fabric covering her lips before he heard her strangled plea.
“Please,” she all but begged, and he was more than willing to comply. He slowly pulled the lingerie down and off of her body before resuming his position back between her legs. Justin ran a lone finger down her moist lips, separating them before replacing his finger with his tongue.
“Ungh,” she moaned, fisting the navy sheets on her bed. It had been awhile and she’d forgotten how talented he was with his tongue. It felt amazing, so amazing that she was tempted to move away in fear of coming sooner than she wanted to. Justin could sense her drawing away from him and wrapped his arms under her legs, gripped her hips and pulled her closer to his face.
“Naw uh, I’m not letting you get away again,” he said, nuzzling her clit with his nose. Jaclynn moaned at the sensation and the double meaning of his statement. He kissed the sensitive bud and before moving his moving his mouth back south and lapping at her juices. Justin began moving his tongue more vigorously and that’s when Jaclynn let go of the world and let the pleasure rush over her. Justin moved his lips further and suckled on her clit before flattening his tongue and rolling it against it.
“Mmmm! Justin…baby…I’m about to…”
She wasn’t able to finish her sentence when she felt him plunge two fingers into her heat. He pumped them slowly for a few moments before rotating his wrist and making a ‘come-here’ motion with his fingers until he found the fleshy patch that was her G-spot. While applying a slight pressure to it as he continued suckling her bundle of nerves and within moments he felt her walls clamp down around his fingers and more of her juices coating them. He lapped it up, every drop, before kissing her inner thighs and working his way up her body. Justin kissed Jaclynn's hip, her bellybutton, the top of each breast, her jaw and finally found his home on her lips. Jaclynn could taste the remnants of herself on his lips and wrapped an arm around his neck drawing him in closer. The boy knew how to work his mouth, whether it was on the lips above her waist or the ones below it. She could feel him hot and pulsing against her stomach and craved for him to be inside of her. She used her free hand to grip him, giving it a slight squeeze and stroking it twice before placing the head at her still hot and wet entrance. Jaclynn pulled back from the kiss and looked him in the eye; her chocolate orbs getting lost in his now navy ones.
“I love you,” she cooed.
“And I, you,” he groaned as he eased inside her walls. He stayed there for a moment so that the both of them could get readjusted to each other.
“So fucking good,” he moaned before he pulled out so that his tip was the only part in her before plunging back in. Jaclynn arched her back in attempt to get closer to him.
“Harder, please I need you to go faster,” she pleaded. She was amazed that she was able to form a complete sentence with the amount of pleasure that was coursing through her body. Justin nodded before placing a kiss on her shoulder and grabbing her right thigh and wrapping her leg around his waist. This took him to a new and more pleasurable depth for the both of them.
“Shit!” they muttered in sync.
“Yes!” she breathed as she felt him pick up his pace. She rolled her hips to meet his thrust for thrust.
“Fuck me” she breathed.
“I am,” he choked out.
“Harder baby, please.”
Justin complied to her wishes and slammed into her, his pelvis hitting her clit. That friction started a chain reaction and Jaclynn felt her orgasm building. She felt it creeping up from her toes and squeezed her walls around him automatically.
“Shit girl!” Justin exclaimed, “Are you close?” Jaclynn couldn’t answer him audibly, choosing to nod her head instead. He captured her mouth with his and suckled her bottom lip in his mouth, causing her to groan. He pulled back and held his thumb up in front of her face.
“Lick,” he command and she obeyed. Justin brought his hand between their bodies and began rubbing her clit. Jaclynn wasn’t ready to come. She didn’t want to come before he did.
“It’s okay Babygirl, let it go. Let it out. I want to hear you scream my name.” Justin watched as she bit the corner of her lip sexually and almost lost it right then and there. He was so close but wanted to make sure that she was satisfied first.
“Come on baby, come for me,” he urged her. He applied a bit more pressure with his thumb and when he did he felt her walls clamp down around him, squeezing him for all he was worth.
“JUSTIN!” she screamed out in the throes of passion. Justin collapsed on top of her; both of them sweating and breathing as if they’d just ran a marathon. They stayed like that for a while, just recycling each other’s air and just being.
Once their breathing and heart rates were back to normal Justin rolled over and pulled Jaclynn with him, cradling her against his side. He kissed her forehead sweetly and stroked her shoulder affectionately.
“Wow.”
“I guess I still have it, huh?” she joked.
“Like you ever doubted that,” he laughed.
“Nope, but you did,” she said seriously; remembering that he was the one who decided to end things when they were dating.
“Yeah, biggest mistake ever; one that I don’t plan on repeating,” he replied, squeezing her body closer to his.
“Ever again?” she asked.
“Never ever again,” he answered softly, kissing her soundly on the lips. She relaxed and rested her head on his chest, playing with the sheet that was covering their bodies.
“Aww, I can’t believe I have my own little secret admirer.”
“Little? I don’t think so, hun.”
“Ok, big secret admirer.”
“You better recognize,” Justin laughed and Jaclynn joined in.
And there was the Justin she met all those years ago.