“Please tell me you’re joking.” I groaned, grasping my phone hard in my hand, closing my eyes wishing this whole ‘situation’ could just go away.

“I’m sorry Justin, but I really think this is the best way to handle the situation.” Roy calmly says.

Roy would be my lawyer. Right now he’s more like the pile of shit my dogs just left in the backyard to me, but that’s besides the point. I’ve gotten myself into a bit of trouble and instead of being a man and dealing with it, my smartass lawyer thinks I need to run away. Yes, he wants me to runaway to a secluded beach house, but honestly is that really going to solve my problems.

I think not.

“How is hiding going to fix this, Roy?” I ask, throwing serious flame when I said his name.

“Justin, trust me, you do not want to deal with the press right now. This is the best way to deal with your personal issues and get the press off your back.” Dickhead explains.

“I didn’t kill anybody for fuck’s sake. Why do I need to hide?”

I run my hand over my freshly shaven head, groaning. I can’t believe this shit is actually happening right now. One night out with my boys and I’m being banished into seclusion until my amazing lawyer can fix the shit I can’t even remember doing. How fucked up is that?

“Justin you offered more than one woman…”

“Yeah, yeah… You’ve told me a thousand times what I supposedly did the other night.” I interrupt. “But why is it that I can’t just apologize and call it a day.”

“One of the women you propositioned was the daughter of the person that decides whether or not you have a career.” He sighs, “Look, I’m trying my hardest to get you out of this mess with a clean slate. This is the only thing I’m asking from you, Justin. Two weeks. Think of it as a vacation.”

I sigh in defeat, “Is this place private or am I going to have crazy people hassling me the whole time?”

“It’s completely secluded. Not another person for miles. I rented a house with a private beach and there was only one other house on the stretch and they guaranteed me they wouldn’t rent it out until the two weeks were up.”

“Look,” He continued when I didn’t respond, “When was the last time you had a vacation to yourself?”

“I don’t fucking know.” I sigh, “Ok, I get it. I’ll go. But you better keep me informed on this shit and there better be food there too.”

I snap my phone shut and groan. “Guess I should go pack.” I mumble to myself.

Now I’m going fucking crazy.

Great.

************************************************************************

“Well, at least the man has taste.” I say, closing the door behind me.

Damn, this is paradise.

The house isn’t even all that great, but the view. Wow. It’s really just… Wow. I’ve been here for a total of two hours and I have yet to see a cloud in the sky and the water is the color of the beautiful brunette’s eyes walking my way.

I shake my head, “Whoa… So much for being alone.”

I lean forward in my chair to get a better look at her and damn do I like what I see. She, undoubtedly, has the most gorgeous curves I have ever seen and I have seen some curves in my day. Her hair is wavy, more than likely from air drying after a nice dip in the ocean. Her eyes, hot damn those eyes, are as blue as they come. Her lips are just begging me to kiss them and I’d be willing to bet I’ll have her panties wet within the next few minutes.

“Hey there, beautiful.” I yell over the railing down to her.

She stops, wide eyed. She looks more scared then horny, but I can change that. Her head turns slowly towards me, but she doesn’t say a word, she just glares at me.

I grin at her, “What did I do right to deserve you?”

“What the hell are you doing in my house?” She asks, still glaring at me.

I laugh, “Your house? Honey I’m renting this house here.” I say pointing back towards it.

“That’s impossible.” She says, panic flashing through her face.

“No, not impossible.” I say, grinning.

“This is not happening right now.” She mumbles to herself, but loud enough for me to hear.

I never understood why women did that. They would go off on a rant talking to themselves, but we can hear them talking and I think it’s their way of not fighting with us, but getting the point across anyway. In all honesty, I think it makes them crazy, but I would never tell a woman that.

Ever.

“Whoa sweetheart, you have to stop talking to yourself. People might start to think you’re crazy.”

Wow did I really just say that out loud? How fucking stupid can I get?

Her eyes go into very small slits and I know it’s like a woman’s evil glare, but hers is seriously turning me on. My dick is on a whole other level than my brain, but I’m sure my brain will catch up eventually.

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to call me crazy when you’re the crazy one thinking that you are renting this place. This is my parent’s beach house and they told me I could use it anytime I wanted and they never rent this place out.” She yells, “I have no idea who you think you are, but you need to pack up your shit and move on down the road.”

I walk down the steps towards her, stopping in front of her, “You done?” I ask, grinning down at her.

Her eyes grow wide for a second, but she quickly tries to hide it by looking down at her feet. “I asked you nicely to leave.”

I tuck my finger under her chin, tilting her head back up forcing her to look at me, “And I paid a lot of money to stay here. I’m not leaving.”

She swats my hand away from her chin and growls angrily, “This is ridiculous. There is no way you could be renting this house and I’ll prove it. Give me your phone.” She says, holding out her hand palm side up.

I laugh, placing my phone on her hand, “Good luck with that.”

She rolls her eyes, frantically dialing as I lean against the railing crossing my arms across my chest. She paces back and forth while she yells back and forth with whoever is on the other line. Obviously from the look she just gave me, things aren’t going her way.

“So, how’d it go?” I ask, still grinning, when she slams my phone shut.

“I can’t believe they did this.” She says, handing me back my phone.

“Do what sweetheart?” I ask, just wanting to hear her say it out loud.

“They never rent this place. Never!” She rants on again.

I grab her arms, stopping her from another round of paces, “Your doing that crazy, talking to yourself thing again.”

She sighs, “It’s hereditary.” She says, shaking her head.

I laugh, “Your whole family is crazy too?”

She laughs, “Not all of them.”

“So, it looks like we’re stuck with each other, so why don’t we start over.” I turn around and shake my body. She giggles when I roll my neck and turn back around.

“Well, hello there. My name is Justin.” I say, extending my hand out in front of me.

She smiles, and that just adds to the list of beautiful things about this woman.

“Hi. I’m Madison.” She says, shaking my hand.

“Nice to meet you Maddy.” I say winking at her.

“It’s Madison… and I’m sorry for before. It‘s just this past couple months have been…” She pauses to look at me, shaking her head, “You don’t care, why the hell am I telling you this.”

I laugh, “Do I make you nervous?”

Her face registers shock for a second, but it’s quickly replaced with a frown. “I’m not nervous, I just have a habit of rambling on about things people don’t give two shits about.”

“Well, your stuck with me for two weeks, so you might as well start boring the shit out of me now.”

Her eyes bulge, “Two weeks?”

I laugh, “Yeah, two weeks. Is that a problem? We’re you planning a crazy orgy and I’ve just blown the whole thing for you?”

“An orgy? Do I look like a person that plans massive orgies on a regular basis?”

I stare at her face for a minute before tracing her body with my eyes, “I think you have a kinky side to you.”

She laughs, “You think I have a kinky side? And you figured this out how?” She asks, cocking her hip off to the side, placing her hands on them.

“Your too feisty to be timid in the sack, but you don’t really seem like a controlling kind of girl either.” I stop to study her for a second, causing her to shift uncomfortably.

“You want to know what I think?” I ask, stepping closer to her.

Her breath catches and she stares up at me wide eyed and curious. Her chest rises and falls a few times before she licks her bottom lip, nipping at it.

“What… What do you think?” She asks quietly.

I lean down towards her face, “I think your one of those girls that enjoys making love occasionally, but what you really want,” I stop leaning in closer to her, “Is to be fucked. Fucked against a wall, fucked from behind, fucked in every position your sexy little body can contort itself into.” I stand back up straight, grinning, “But that’s just my opinion.”

She doesn’t say a word she just stares at me with her mouth slightly open and I watch her chest rise and fall rather quickly and I know that I’ve either pissed her off completely or I’ve just flooded her pants and she’s fighting with herself over whether or not she should sleep with me. Although, honestly, there wouldn’t be a whole lot of sleeping involved.

“Men.” She says, walking past me up the stairs and into the house that was supposed to be helping me not proposition women.

This vacation is really working well for me.

“I can’t believe the nerve of that asshole.” I rant, stomping up the stairs to my room, “Thinking he knows me after, what, like two minutes? Please.”

I knock open the door and stop dead in my tracks.

“Oh, Hell no.” I growl.

“Justin! Get you scrawny ass up here. Now!” I yell down the stairs.

I hear the back screen door slam shut followed by his foot steps and then I see him at the bottom of the stairs with that cocky ass smile of his.

“Is there a problem, Maddy?”

“My name in Madison and yes there is a problem. Your shit is in my room.”

“Well, Maddy, The way I see it. That is my room and you can have the one down the hall. You see I paid for this house for two weeks and your just mooching off your parents, running away from something.”

I scoff, “What makes you think I’m running away from something?”

“Well, one, you came here without even telling your parents. Two, you seem to have a grudge against men so I’m assuming you either just broke up with someone or your still with the dickhead that put that frown on your face and your taking a break.”

I want to scream. Who does this guy think he is? He keeps trying to figure me out, but why? I mean, why does he even care about why I’m here. Maybe the real question is why do I care that he cares why I’m here. Wow that was a lot of whys…

“Well then, what are you running away from?”

“So I was right?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“So your saying your not running away from something?”

I sigh, “I didn’t say that either.”

He walks up the stairs, stopping in front of me, “Let’s just say we’re both running away from something and call it good.”

“Fine.”

“But I’m not moving my stuff.” I was about to protest, but he cut me off, “You’re more than willing to stay in the room with me, but I’m not moving.”

“You are unbelievable.” I say, throwing my hands in the air in frustration.

“You got one thing right today.” He winks at me, then walks into my room, plopping down on the bed. I watch him tuck his hands under his head while he crosses his legs at his ankles and he’s just staring at me with his annoyingly sexy as hell cocky grin.

Christ, I can’t believe I just thought something about this sad excuse of a man was sexy.

Whoa, wait a minute.

Holy shit. He’s Justin Timberlake.

Why the hell is Justin Timberlake renting a beach house? Doesn’t he own like ten of them? I can’t fucking believe this, a fucking cocky ass pop star is renting my parents beach house and he’s laying in my bed.

Well fuck me sideways.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He says and my mouth flies open.

I said that out loud?

“How do you want it Maddy?” He asks and I’m so shocked I can’t even speak.

“Do you want to climb on or do you want me to do all the work?” He asks, winking at me again.

“Stop calling me Maddy.” I finally get out.

He laughs, “You’re avoiding my question, Maddy.”

“I don’t want it at all, Justin.”

He sits up, scooting down the bed before standing to walk over towards me, “You need to work on your lying darlin’. It’s not very convincing.”

“You have to be the cockiest bastard I’ve ever met.” I say, taking a step back from him. He grins, taking a step towards me, we go back and forth until my back hit’s the wall in the hallway across from my bedroom door.

“You got another thing right.” He says, placing his hands on my hips. I swat at them, but he holds tight, turning me around until my face is pressed against the wall. With his hands still on my hips, he leans forward running the tip of his nose up my neck, stopping at my ear.

“I think you need a good fucking. What do you think?” he whispers, nipping on my ear lobe.

He laughs against my neck, sending shivers down my spine, “You’re a horrible liar.” his hand slides from my hip slowly forward until he cups me through my bikini bottoms.

He moans against my neck, “You’re awfully wet for someone who doesn’t want to be fucked.”

Damn traitor pussy. “I guess when you haven’t had sex for over a year, it will get wet for anything.”

His middle finger gently strokes my clit through my bottoms, “So your saying if I was a four hundred pound, balding man with horrible body odor and no teeth, you’d still be wet because I touched you?”

I’m doing everything in my power not to moan from the feeling he’s sending through my body. The man has magic fingers, I swear. He’s not even touching the skin and I’m already on the verge of orgasm. This is a little unfair.

“Answer me Maddy.” He whispers in my ear, while his other hand slowly slides up my side to cup my breast through my Bikini top. “And don’t lie to me, because your body seems to be telling a different story.”

“No.”

“No, what Maddy?” He whispers in my ear.

“No, I wouldn’t still be wet.”

“So why are you so wet, Maddy?” He asks, just before sliding his fingers underneath my bottoms. My mouth opens in a small o as my head falls back against his shoulder.

“Come on Maddy. Tell me what made you so wet.”

I moan, “I did this didn’t I darlin’?”

“You’re completely full of yourself, you know that?”

He laughs, “You could be full of me too, Maddy.”

Oh boy, that did it. The flood gates have opened and I’m pretty positive I’ve just soaked his hand along with my thighs. I want, no I need, to be full of him and now.

“What do you want from me?” I ask, while I silently remind myself how to breath.

“I want you to tell me you don’t want this. Tell me to stop and I’ll walk away, but if you don’t. Believe me Maddy, I’ll have you screaming my name for hours.” He says, pulling his finger out from under my bikini bottoms, resting both of his hands on my hips again.

I can’t do this. I can’t be another man’s fuck toy. I feel like that’s the only kind of relationship I’ve been in lately and I can’t do it anymore. I’ve had it with men and their stupid outlook on sex and relationships. I know I’m stereotyping here, but why in the world would Justin Timberlake be any different than all the other men I’ve been with? I mean all you have to do is listen to him talk and you know he’s probably been with hundreds of random groupies, all of which probably talked his ego up just so they can go home and tell everyone they know, they slept with the Justin Timberlake.

Well, that’s not me and I’m not doing it. I refuse to be another notch on this pop stars belt.

“I don’t want this.” I say, quietly.

“That’s what I… Wait, what?”

I push him off me, sidestepping to get out of his reach, “I said, I don’t want this. I’ve been that girl for too long and I refuse to do it again. I’m done being the sex rag doll every man I’ve ever known has made me into. That’s why I’m here, to get away from all that and now you’re here making it impossible.” I sigh, biting my lower lip, “Please just leave me alone.” I turn to walk down to the guest bedroom, but he grabs my arm, turning me back towards him.

“Maybe we can help each other then.” He says, sighing.

Help each other? “What do you need help with?” I ask cautiously.

“Not doing what I just did.”

“What?” I ask confused.

“Can we go downstairs and talk?” He asks, looking more like a five year old child than a twenty something man. He looks so vulnerable, and curiosity got the best of me because I followed him into the living room, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

“I’m here because my Lawyer thinks it’s my best option.”

Whoa, his lawyer sent him here? What is he like a serial killer and his lawyer thinks he can get him off because he’s rich and famous, so he sent him off to my parent’s beach house. I guess that explains why he’s not at one of his houses. It also scares the shit out of me. What is he hiding from?

“Your lawyer? Jesus, did you… No wait I don’t want to know, then I’d be like an accomplice or something right… Don’t tell me, just keep going.” I say, shaking my head.

“I didn’t rob a bank or anything, Maddy.” He says, chuckling to himself.

“I still don’t think you should tell me what you did. I mean if your lawyer sent you into hiding, whatever it is, can’t be good.”

“Well, it’s not like I’d go to jail over it, but my career is on the line.”

I raise an eyebrow at him, “No jail time?”

“I think they would’ve pressed charges by now, even then I wouldn’t have to spend anytime in a jail cell.”

I’m confused again, “Wait, who could’ve pressed charges? And why?”

“I thought you didn’t want to know.” He says, smirking at me.

“Just tell me the story, Justin.”

He grins, “Ok, Maddy.”

“Stop calling me Maddy! My name is Madison.” I bark.

“I like the way Maddy rolls off my tongue better.” he says with a grin, but it quickly turns into a frown and curses under his breath, “See I can’t turn it off!”

I laugh out of confusion, “Turn what off?”

“I’m addicted to women. I can’t stop staring at them, touching them, fucking them. I don’t know how to turn it off. I mean three days ago I just about molested my boss‘ daughter. That and about 3 other women.”

“You’re addicted to women? Isn’t that like being a sex addict?”

“Not really, because I don’t need to have sex with a women to… get off and not in the way you’re thinking so stop.” He says with a knowing smile.

“Ok, then explain.” I say, shaking my head.

“I don’t even think I can.” He says, sighing, “I guess it’s like a high for me. I could stare at you for the rest of the day and I would get that feeling of pure bliss. It’s crazy, I know, but I’d rather watch a girl dance for an hour than be up on that stage doing what I love to do. It‘s weird, I mean just touching your arm is more affective to me then any drug I‘ve ever done before.” He bows his head, mumbling, “When did I get this fucked up?”

“I-Is it any… woman? Or do you have a type?” I ask, trying to figure out what is really going on with him.

He sits there in silence and I can almost here the wheels turning in his head, “Brunettes.”

“Brunettes? You only have a thing for brunettes? Umm, not to sound weird or crazy fan-ish, but weren’t you with numerous blondes over the years?”

He grins at me, “So you’re a fan?”

“Knock that shit off. I don’t live in a fucking hole. I know who you are and I’ve heard who you’ve been with.”

“You sure?” He asks, still grinning.

“Positive… Now, I know you’ve been with a lot of Blondes. When did the brunette thing happen?”

“When I met Cloie…”

“What? Who’s Cloie?” I ask, watching him pace in front of the couch.

“Cloie was my fiancé.” He says, dropping down next to me on the couch, lowering his head into his hands. “Why haven’t I ever thought of this before?”

“How? When? I mean… What the hell? You were engaged? When?”

He lifts his head to look at me, “Four years ago.”

“Wow… What happened?”

He turns his head to stare at the fireplace across the room in a daze, “I killed her.”

“You what?” she shrieked, jumping up from the couch.

“She was coming to see me. I was on tour and I was going to be three hours from where we lived and she decided she was going to surprise me.”

“What did she walk in on you and a groupie so you killed her? I can’t believe you killed someone!” She says, flipping out, wailing her arms around, panicking. “I’m sleeping under the same roof as a murderer.”

“She died in a car wreck two miles from the arena.” I yell, interrupting her tirade.

She stops pacing, slowly turning towards me, “Car wreck?”

I nod, my eyes watering at the memory, “She was twenty four, had her whole life ahead of her and because she wanted to see me, she died.”

She drops down to the floor in front of me, taking my hands in hers, “Justin, she was your fiancé. She loved you and wanted to see you. This wasn’t your fault.”

“She hated that I hid her, I didn’t want the media getting a hold of her and hanging her out to dry. I couldn’t take it, she meant too much to me to do that, but she felt like I was ashamed of her, so I asked her to marry me.”

“Did you even want to?” She asks, squeezing my hands with hers.

I shrug, “I loved her.”

She sighs, “That’s all well and fine, but you have to want to make that commitment and from the sounds of it… you didn’t.”

I nod, realizing she’s right. I did it to make her stay, but all I did was end up killing her.

“You need to stop thinking like that.”

I look up at her with a raised eyebrow, “How do you know what I’m thinking?”

She chuckles, “What, you don’t like it when someone tells you what they think your feeling or thinking?”

I roll my eyes, “Point taken.”

“You had that look in your eyes that says you think that because you asked her to marry you, you in turn ended up killing her, by making her stay.

“You’re better at the mind reading than I am.” I say, smiling down at her.

She laughs, “I’m better at a lot of things.”

“Are you now?”

“Mmhmm, like I know that you have this addiction to brunettes because Cloie was one. And in some way you envision Cloie in those brunettes, including me.”

“No, see that’s where your wrong.”

“I am?” She ask, staring up at me.

“Cloie didn’t have tattoos. You do. Cloie had short hair. Your’s is long. Cloie was short. You’re tall. Cloie, not to sound horrible, but she was a push over. You are far from it.”

“So, all the girls you’ve talked to, touched, fucked, have been tattoo-less, short-haired, midget, pushovers?” She asks, sounding doubtful.

“Yeah, well not midgets, but yeah… Fucked up right?”

“So what? You made a play at me because I’m the only thing available?”

“Maddy, it’s been four years. I’ve only been attracted to one type of female for four years and today you changed that.”

She shakes her head, “You’re insane. I didn’t change anything. I mean I have two tattoos, my hair isn’t that long, I’m average in height and I’ve been a pushover my entire life. That I changed today.” She shrugs, “See, I’m not that different from all the others. I’m just a little different, but mostly the same.”

“You feel different though.”

“I think you just need to be… normal and alone for a little while and honestly I think I should be too. Jumping into bed together probably isn’t the best idea either of us have had.” she says, standing up from the floor.

“I’m hungry, you want me to make some dinner?” She asks, completely changing topics.

Women.

“Yeah, but first I want to hear about these spineless assholes that hurt you.”

***********************************************************************

I guess spineless assholes were an accurate name for the dicks I’ve been with lately. Luke only wanted sex, but he went as far as to tell me he loved me to get it. Once he got it though, he no longer loved me, he loved Becky the bimbo, topless dancer at the local strip joint.

Then there was Steve. Oh how I loved Steve. And when I say loved I mean the Luke kind of love where I loved him enough to let him give me five orgasms a night until he had had enough and wanted to give Joy, the Harley slut, a ride.

Joey was next. He was known as the lady killer. Nice. He certainly lived up to that name though. He sold me all the right lines and gave me everything I’ve ever wanted until he ripped my world apart. He took everything I had, including my reputation and killed it. It took me two years to get over the shit he put me through.

But that’s where Cameron came in. Cameron was the sweetest guy I had met in a really long time. Right up until he tied me to the bed and brought home Jake so they could both have their way with me. I guess I really can’t complain, because I had at the very least, ten orgasms that night. I’m ashamed of myself for actually letting them do it to me, but at that point I think I was just begging to be loved. Neither of them gave me that love though. Sadly, one of them gave me a child, that I later lost. I guess that was my one really big gift from the big guy upstairs. I don’t think I could’ve handled living with not knowing who the father of my child was.

And then there was my favorite, Ryan. Ryan was the most gorgeous specimen I had ever seen. He was a bad boy to the T. He had so many tattoos all over his body I had lost count after fifty, but he had a golden tan that just made his tattoos look absolutely gorgeous. God, if you saw him without his shirt on, which I got to every day for a year, you’d cum on the spot. I used to run my hands all over his hard body when he slept, until about two weeks ago I found five, count them, five hickeys all over his torso. When I confronted him about it, he told me he had gotten drunk the night before and these gorgeous blondes took care of him. Oh did I mention there were three gorgeous blondes that so nicely took care of my boyfriend for me.

Nice huh?

He told me I was just a sex toy along with the other twelve ladies he’d been with in just the last month I was with him. If you don’t think I immediately went to the doctors and got tested for everything imaginable, you’d be crazy.

I’m clean, thank God, but if that wasn’t one of the scariest experiences I’ve ever been through.

“Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to beat it out of you?” He asks, jokingly.

“I um… It’s kind of personal.” I resort.

“Yeah, and me talking about an engagement that only a total of twenty people knew about wasn’t personal?” He says, forcing a laugh.

Damn. “I’ve…” I drop down on to the couch next to him with a deep sigh, “I’ve been tossed around as a sex toy for years and I guess it’s finally caught up to me and I just needed to get away from it.”

“You’ve already said that. I was hoping you’d actually tell me what happened to make you want to get away and not let me fuck your brains out upstairs.” He says, nudging my arm.

I smile, “I wanted to get away because the last six guys I’ve been with have been complete douche bags. They all started out giving me all the lines, telling me we’d be together forever, one even told me he loved me, but after they got what they wanted out of me, they moved on. They conveniently forgot to tell me they had moved on, but it was always fun finding out or I guess you could say walking in on.”

“I’m sorry Maddy. I know how that feels, to be cheated on.”

I laugh, cynically, “Oh but I wasn’t being cheated on. I was just sharing my treasure.”

He laughs, “Did one of them actually tell you that?”

“Oh not one, two of them actually sold me that crap.” I say, laughing at how stupid I am.

"So that whole line about not having sex for a year..."

"I lied." I say with a shrug, "I guess i didn't want to admit to myself that I was letting you break through a barrier i had just build for myself."

He nods slowly, “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, but don’t put us all down because you met some of our worst specimen.”

“Says the brunette obsessed man, who seems to think I’ve changed him.” I laugh, “That doesn’t at all sound like one of the assholes I’ve been with.”

The smile on his face falls, “I was being serious, whether you want to believe me or not. I think you really have changed how I look at women.”

“Justin, I think you’ve changed that yourself. You figured out why you’ve been doing what you’ve been doing so you got a clear head and I was the first person you saw.” I bit my bottom lip before continuing, “I had nothing to do with it, I was just the lucky gal that was here to see you change.”

“But I felt different with you before I figured out…”

“Justin, I’ve been fed more piles of shit over the years, I really don’t want to deal with all of it anymore.” I interrupt.

“Maddy, I’m not like them.”

“You just tried to fuck me in the hallway upstairs because I somewhat looked like your fiancé that you think you killed. Does that seem normal to you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“I need normal Justin, and your not it.” I say, standing to go fix something to eat.

“I’m making Cajun Chicken, I hope you like it.”

He just nods.

At least he knows when to shut up. That’s at least one plus on his side.

She hasn’t come out of her room all day, and I’m starting to feel like it’s because of me.

After dinner last night, she refused to let me do the dishes and she ended up taking a shower and going straight to bed. I haven’t seen her since. I have a feeling she’s ignoring me and I can’t figure out why.

Ok, yes, she thinks I’m crazy and want to fuck her because she kind of looks like my fiancé, but that’s not true. I just have to figure out a way to prove that to her.

Do I want to fuck her, yes. I’d have to be stupid not to, but I want to because she’s gorgeous, not because she’s a brunette. Oh, what a spicy brunette she is. I got a closer look at her tattoos last night while she was cleaning the dishes and one of them has me a little confused.

One of them is a tribal butterfly on her lower back, that normally is tagged as a tramp stamp, but she’s far from a tramp in my eyes. She also has a flower on her shoulder blade, but half of it’s pedals are falling from the flower. That has to mean something. I’ll have to ask her about that, if she ever comes out of her damn room.

She has to eat right? Maybe I should start cooking and the smell will coerce her out.

I laugh when I hear her door squeak open and her footsteps on the stairs.

Mission Accomplished.

“What is that amazing smell?” She asks, walking up behind me.

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” I joke, bumping her away from the stove with my hip.

“I shared my dinner with you last night. I don’t get the same from you?” She asks, crossing her arms across her chest, pushing her braless breasts up a little further out of her tank top.

Breath, Justin, “You can have some… It’s just a secret family recipe.”

“What are you a commercial for Bush’s baked beans or something? Do you have a crazy dog named Duke that tries to give out your recipe?”

“No Duke, but I do have two dogs. I was smart enough not to tell them though, so the secret is still safe.” I say, winking at her.

She rolls her eyes, “You’re crazy.”

“Hey, it looks like we have something in common then.” I joke, grinning at her.

“Yeah, I’m sure we have a lot more in common than you think.” She says with a sigh.

“Like what?” I ask, curiously.

“We both are running away from our issues. We both have crazy pasts. We’ve both have made some bad decisions, but we’ve learned to deal with them. We both are sexually attracted to each other…” She rants on until I cut her off, pulling her head up to mine, locking my lips to hers.

Her body stiffens under my touch, but I can’t let this go, so I pull her harder against me, deepening the kiss. She moans, her body loosening in my grasp as she opens her mouth slightly inviting me in. My tongue slowly slides into her mouth, and I revel in her taste. I’ve never experienced a kiss like this, not even with Cloie.

“Justin…” She moans against my lips.

“Don’t stop, Maddy.” I say, never letting my lips leave hers.

She whimpers, wrapping her arms around my neck as I raise her up onto the counter. My hands take on a mind of their own, running anywhere and everywhere they could get to on her body. I leave her lips, kissing my way down her neck.

“We shouldn’t have sex, Justin. We can’t.” She whispers through moans, all while wrapping her legs around my waist, pulling me in closer to her.

My hand drops to her thigh, running up under her skirt until I reach her completely drenched satin panties.

“I don’t know Maddy, your definitely wet enough and I know I’m hard enough.” I say, rubbing her clit in tight circles, eliciting moans and whimpers from her.

“Ju-Justin. I really thin-think this is a ba-ba-bad idea.” She’s really trying.

“Is that why you’re ready to cum in my hand right now?” I whisper in her ear, causing her hips to buck towards me.

“We can’t have sex.” She growls, “Oh shit…”

I chuckle, “I think we can, Maddy.”

“No, we can’t… Pull down your pants.”

I laugh, “I thought we couldn’t have sex.”

“We can’t.” She says, unbuckling my Jeans, pulling them down to my thighs.

Her eyes go wide with excitement, “Oh god… Touch yourself.”

My hand stops moving on her clit, “What?”

“We’re both obviously in need of release, but it’s not a good idea to sleep together. So we’re going to help ourselves… together.”

Well, I’ll be damned, “So your going to watch me jack off and I get to watch you finger fuck yourself?” I ask with a grin.

“That’s exactly what’s going to happen. Are you ok with that?” She asks, hopping down from the counter, pulling her panties down her sexy ass legs, kicking them to the side. She hops back up on the counter, spreading her thighs, giving me one hell of a view of her perfect little pussy.

“I’m very ok with that.” I say, grabbing a hold of my dick, giving it a tight squeeze, willing it to hold on for as long as humanly possible.

************************************************************************

This has got to be one of the best and most stupid ideas I’ve ever had. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this right now, but I guess it’s better than actually sleeping with him and completely regretting it tomorrow.

Yeah, I’m sure I’d regret his big, thick cock fucking me unconscious.

Yeah, probably not, but I’d hate myself for letting him get what he wants out of me without me getting what I want.

But what do I want?

I don’t have anytime to think about it because I become enthralled in his long fingers wrapped around his long hard cock, slowly stroking up and down, up and down. I licked my lips with a moan.

Hot damn.

“Am I working alone here darlin?” He asks, with a cocky grin on his face.

I now know he actually has a valid reason for that cocky grin, and holy hell do I want to touch it, like it, suck it, fuck it. Oh god, I could come just watching him slowly thrust his hips into his fist.

The tip has a shiny bit of pre-come and I bite my bottom lip, holding myself back from leaning forward to lick it off.

He moved in between my legs, setting his free hand on my thigh. He stopped the movement on his dick, grabbing me under my knees, pulling my legs up onto the counter, resting my feet on the edge leaving me wide open to him.

“Much better.” He moans, “This was your idea, Maddy. You’re not backing out on me now are you?”

I didn’t answer. Instead I slid my hand over my hip and slowly ran my hand over my hot, wet slit. I gasp, realizing how wet I am. He went back to stroking himself, hard and fast. My finger dip in and out of my body and I can’t remember the last time I’d felt this alive.

I’m sitting on a kitchen counter, masturbating in front of a man I just met yesterday who is also masturbating. This isn’t me, but if this is what being bad feels like, maybe I should be bad more often.

Jesus, just watching him stroke himself is getting me hotter than hell, I don’t know if I’ll even be able to handle what it would feel like to have him fuck me stupid.

“Oh god… Are you…” I try, but I can’t seem to form any words over the moans that keep escaping from my lips.

“I’m almost there… Come with me Maddy.” He moans, his eyes slightly rolling back in his head for a second before locking his eyes with mine.

The room around me went silent. The clock stopped ticking, the TV was muted, the birds stopped chirping and the only thing I could hear was our pants and moans. His eyes turned wild and his pace grew faster and I knew he was on the edge waiting for my cue.

I circled my fingers a few more times over my clit and my body exploded with pleasure. I let out a whoosh of air letting all my whimpers out as my body clenched around my fingers.

“Jesus…” He groaned.

It only took a second more before I felt him spray his warm seed on my thigh. The feeling alone was enough to send another ripple of pleasure through my body.

I sat there for a minute basking in the pleasure of what just happened. I lifted my shaky hands from my center, letting my legs drop down the side of the counter, trying desperately to regain a normal breathing pattern.

“Holy shit.” Justin says, staring at me.

“Yeah, Holy shit.”

He grabs a towel from the drawer and starts to wipe off my leg and I bust out laughing. His hand halts to a stop and he stares up at me, curiously.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t believe I just did that.” I say, cracking myself up.

He smiles, “I told you, you had a kinky side.”

I laugh even harder, “Yeah, you bring out the inner slut in me. Thanks.”

He laughs, “There’s nothing wrong with expressing your self sexually.”

“Oh yeah, masturbating in front of a person you just met isn’t at all slutty.” I say, shaking my head.

“Well, as long as you don’t do it to every person you meet.” He says, pulling his pants back up.

I shrug, “You do this all the time don’t you?” I ask, laughing.

He shakes his head, “Hmmm, can’t say that I do. But anytime you want to do that again, I’m free.”

I laugh, “I’m sure you are.” I say, hopping down from the counter. “I’m going to go shower.”

He nods slowly, “Dinner should be done shortly, so don’t take too long.”

“I wont.” I answer, leaving him alone in the kitchen.

Holy hell, what have I gotten myself into?

I can get through this day without hitting on Maddy.

I can get through this day without hitting on Maddy.

I keep chanting this over and over in my head, while debating on whether or not I should even get out of bed today.

Can I really do this?

I mean in all honesty can I go through today without hitting on her even once?

I don’t think I can do it.

I watched the woman slide her tiny little finger in and out of her sexy, wet little pussy while I jacked off, eventually coming on her fucking leg.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman look more beautiful and sexy as she was when she came. I can’t get her out of my head.

I groan, smacking myself on the forehead, “Could I get any hornier?”

She’s driving me insane. How can she just show me something like that and not think I’m going to want more. Hell, I can’t get the damn image out of my head. I’ve had one continuous hard on since last night and no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of it.

Well, I can think of one thing that will get rid of it, but that’s out of the question at the moment.

I don’t know, maybe she’s right though. Maybe I do need to just chill and not get involved with anyone just yet. It will probably do me some good to just have a peaceful, sexless vacation with one of the hottest women I’ve ever laid eyes on.

But no touching.

Yeah, that sounds peaceful.

Fuck, I’ll never get rid of this damn hard on. I’ll go back home with a damn limp or some shit. Either that or it will just stop working all together.

A knock sounds on the door. I grab the sheets, pulling them up to cover up the erection of the damn century, before yelling come in.

Maddy pokes her head in the door, “Morning.” She says with a smile.

I’d like to smack that smile right off her beautiful face, “Morning.” I mumble.

“Everything ok?” She asks, her smile dropping.

I shift positions on the bed trying to make the pain go away or at least alleviate the pain even just a little.

“Did you need something?”

She sighs, “Wow, your awfully crabby this morning. Sorry to have bothered you, your highness.” she says, her head disappearing before the door closed.

“Shit.” I groan, throwing the sheets off me. I throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, adjusting my dick so it’s not so painfully obvious what my problem really is.

“Maddy.” I yell, pulling the door open. I walk down to the room she’s staying in, but she wasn’t in there, so I made my way downstairs. Halfway there I heard dishes clanging in the kitchen along with some harsh mumbling.

“Maddy.” I say from the doorway. A nice safe distance from her.

Wow, ok, not so safe. The kitchen is not the best place for me to be at the moment. I can still see her sitting on the counter with her legs spread wide open for me. Holy shit, I’m going to come in my pants if I don’t get out of here soon.

“I’m going for a run.” I say, cutting off whatever she was saying.

“So you do run?” She asks, making me turn back around towards her.

I nod, “I do. Why? Didn’t think I knew how?” I snap, but immediately regret it.

She shakes her head, “What the hell crawled up your ass this morning?”

I sigh, “Look I’m sor…”

She throws her hands up, motioning me to stop talking, “You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m sorry, you obviously are having a rough morning and I’m not making it any better.” She says, turning back around to finish washing last nights dinner dishes.

Jesus, last night couldn’t have been more awkward. We ate in complete silence. Hell I could hear the conversation a couple of dolphins were having in the damn ocean. It was really that quiet. She told me not to touch the dishes, so I just ended up going to bed just to get away from her and the discomfiture surrounding us.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier. Did you need something?” I ask in a much nicer tone.

She tosses the towel she was using to dry the dishes with on the table, “I was actually wondering if you wanted to go for a run, but you didn’t really seem to be in the mood.”

“Well, I’m in the mood now. I could use a tour guide.” I say, smiling.

“You sure?”

“Come on.” I wave her over, walking out the back door, down to the beach.

She pulls her hair back into a ponytail, and I couldn’t help but notice her beautiful profile. She has an incredible face, hell I have yet to find a part of her that isn’t incredible.

“Are we going to run or are you going to stare at me all morning?” She asks, grinning at me.

“Let’s go smartass.”

We ran down the coast for an hour before taking a break on the rocks. She showed me all of her favorite spots she had as a kid along the way. It was nice to actually have a normal conversation with a woman that wasn’t a family member. I can’t remember the last time I’ve done this with anyone let alone a woman. Normally with women it’s… well it’s like wham bam thank you ma’am. Well, ok not that bad, but pretty close.

Let’s just say I’m not much on conversations with women, unless it eventually leads to sex.

Wow, maybe I am a sex addict.

“This was the spot I always went when my parents would get mad at me or if I was upset about something.” She sighs contently, “It always seemed to make me feel better about whatever was going on in my life.”

She stares off into the ocean and I can’t seem to stop staring at her. She’s breathtaking.

“Is this where you were yesterday when I arrived?”

She nods slowly, “I didn’t even go to the house first. I came straight here and just sat for a few hours.”

“It’s a nice spot to collect your thoughts.”

She nods again, “It’s so beautiful and peaceful out here.”

“I’m certainly enjoying the view.” I say without thinking.

She smiles, “The oceans that way.” She says pointing towards the water.

I nod, “It’s nice, but the view I have…”

She shakes her head, looking back towards the ocean, “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“I’m not trying to flatter you.”

She laughs, “Then what are you doing?” She asks, looking back towards me.

“I’m telling a beautiful woman she’s gorgeous.”

She turns back towards the water with a sigh, “I’m not sleeping with you Justin.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“Then stop saying things like that to me.” she mutters, twiddling with her fingers.

“I’m confused. I’m not allowed to tell you I think your beautiful, but I’m allowed to watch you fuck yourself? Am I missing something?”

“You don’t mean it though. You’re just trying to get me into bed with you and it’s not going to work. You can stop trying.”

She’s really starting to piss me off. I stand up, pulling her up with me.

“Listen to me. You. Are. Beautiful. Did you get all that?” I growl, holding her arms a little too tightly.

“You’re a beautiful woman and I’m not saying that to get you into bed with me.”

“Yes you are!” She yells, trying to get out of my grasp.

“Stop it!” I yell, holding her a little tighter, “Maddy, I don’t know what your malfunction is, but you need to realize that no matter what you may think, I’m not always trying to get into your pants. Just because I think your beautiful, doesn’t mean I want to jump you on the rocks.”

“So your telling me you don’t want to have sex with me right now?” She asks doubtfully.

Shit. “Whether I do or not doesn’t matter. I didn’t say what I said to get you to sleep with me. I was just giving you a compliment. I didn’t realize it would be such a horrible thing to do. Forgive me, I’ll never do it again.” I say letting her go.

I climb down the edge of the rocks, walking back towards the house. I took a swim when I got back, hoping to wash off a portion of the sweat that had accumulated on the surface of every inch of my body. Jesus, I’m sweating in places I didn’t even realize I could sweat.

I sat on the back deck, facing the stretch of beach I just walked, waiting for Maddy to come back. I feel horrible about the way I just left, but I don’t know how much more I can take of her accusing me of stupid shit.

Ok, so I do still want to have sex with her, but I know I can’t and I’m not going to push her. I’m not a complete monster for Christ’s sake.

“Where the hell is she?” I growl, glancing down at my watch. It’s been over an hour, where the hell could she have gone.

An hour turned into three and she still hadn’t come back. I’m really starting to worry about her. Shit, I hope she didn’t hurt herself on the rocks or worse, trip and fall into the ocean.

Christ, I need to go find her.

I slide on my sneakers, throwing my shirt back over my head, making my way down to the beach. I look up and down the beach debating on which way to start looking. She could be anywhere by now.

“Going for another run?” I hear from behind me.

I spin around quickly, “Shit.” My surprise turns into anger. “Where the hell have you been?”

She laughs, “Around.”

She walks past me up the stairs and I follow her taking the steps two at a time. I grab her arm, turning her back towards me. She rips her arm away from my grasp and we both just stare at each other.

“What’s your problem?” She asks, angrily.

“What’s my problem, What’s your problem?” I yell, “You’ve been gone for over three hours!”

“Well, shit. I wasn’t aware I had to check in with you before going somewhere.” She says, rolling her eyes and turning back towards the house, walking inside.

“Get back here, I’m not finished.” I yell, following her into the house.

She laughs again, “I don’t really care.” She says never turning or stopping.

“Maddy.” I growl.

She stops, turning towards me, “How dense are you? I said stop calling me Maddy. My name is Madison. Ok? Wait listen one more time… Mad-I-son… Got it?”

“Will you just shut up and listen to me for a second?” I yell, happy to finally get her to stop her mad trek upstairs.

We’re not in the best place for this conversation, but if the middle of the staircase is where this is going to take place, I guess I’ll take it over this fucking awkwardness surrounding us.

She sighs, folding her arms across her chest, “You have 2 minutes.”

I shake my head, “Gee…”

“Your wasting your time.” She says, glaring at me.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. I lost my head and I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.” I sigh, collecting my thoughts, “Look, I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want to have sex with you, because I do. I think you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to sleep with me, am I right?”

She doesn’t answer, she just glares at me.

“Answer the question Maddy.” I say, forcefully.

“It doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to give in.”

“It does matter, Maddy. Do you or Don’t you?”

She throws her hands in the air, “This is ridiculous. I’m not going to have sex with you so just let it go, please.”

“I’m not asking you to let me fuck you on the stairs, Maddy. I’m just asking you to admit you want to.”

“So what if I do. We can’t and that’s all that matters.”

“Why can’t we? Again, I’m not asking you to right now, I’m just trying to figure out your reasoning for not having sex with someone your so obviously attracted to.” I wait for a response but all I’m met with is silence.

“I want all this awkwardness to go away, Maddy. I’m trying to get us to be friends. We’re stuck here together for two weeks, and this is the first vacations I’ve had in years. The last thing I want on my one and only vacation is to be walking on eggshells around you. Let’s just put everything out on the table now.”

She slides down the wall, taking a seat on the steps. I walk up, taking a seat next to her.

“I didn’t… I don’t think we should have sex because… Well, one it’s not in your best interest.”

“Why’s that?”

“Wasn’t this vacation to get you to not proposition women?” She asks, laughing.

“True enough.”

“You’re failing.”

“Is that the only reason?” I ask cautiously.

She shakes her head, turning to look at me, “I don’t trust myself around you.”

I search her eyes for answers, but come up short, “Why? I’m really not as bad as I come across.”

“No it’s not you.” She shrugs, still staring in my eyes, “I guess I don’t trust myself to make the right decision. I stayed with men that I knew where messing around on me, but a part of me didn’t want to believe it. I stayed because I needed them. Or I guess I thought I did. I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out, and if I let myself sleep with you… I’ll feel like I’m giving up on myself and I don’t want that.”

She sighs, looking away from me for second, “I’m sorry for blowing up at you earlier.” she looks back up towards me, “I did it because all I could see was one of my exes saying those things to me and I didn’t want to believe them. That and I figured if I could get you angry with me you’d stop looking at me.”

I chuckle, “Why?”

“Because all I could think about was you kissing me… And I knew if I let you, I’d lose the battle going on in my head.”

I nod slowly, “I can understand that. Kissing you makes me forget my name so…”

She smacks my arm playfully, smiling, “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.” She rolls her eyes, “Maddy, I don’t know what those guys did to you, but you are an amazing woman. You’re gorgeous, funny, a little crazy, your smile could light up a room, your laugh or the many styles of your laugh could make anyone laugh along with you. Oh and don’t even get me started on your body girl. Woowee.”

She laughs, “You’re such a dork.”

I shrug, “It’s all true though. I can honestly say I felt more kissing you than I ever did with Cloie. I feel like a horrible person for feeling that way, but what does that say about our relationship. I was with her for years and I was going to marry her, but I felt more in a kiss from a woman I just met.” I sigh, “You make me question everything I’ve ever known.”

“Yeah? Well you make me question my sanity.”

“Oh, now she has jokes.”

“Apparently I have a weakness too.” She says, staring at me again.

“What’s that?” I ask, quietly.

“Sex crazed men.” She says, reaching to pull my head to hers, pressing her lips to mine.

My hand slides up her arm until it cups her face. I run my thumb back and forth on her cheek, savoring the way her mouth moves with mine. I love the way she tastes, the way she whimpers every so often, the way she grabs at my non existing hair at the back of my neck, and just the way she molds herself to me when she kisses me.

Shit.

This woman is going to be the death of me.

I have a new found appreciation for women.

This woman lying next to me has more strength and courage than any man I’ve ever met.

I’ve been watching her for the last week gain more and more confidence in herself and it’s amazing to see. In just a little over a week she’s gone from a scorned woman with a grudge against men, to a beautiful, confident woman who doesn’t need a man, but can get one if she wanted to.

I bet your probably wondering what happened that night when we kissed. I’d like to tell you nothing, but things did happen that night that probably shouldn’t have happened but they did and we can’t take them back.

Not that I would, but you get my point.

No we didn’t have sex, but we did end up sleeping together. Actually we’ve been sleeping together ever since. It’s kind of nice to wake up next to her ever morning and see that beautiful smile on her face. I swear, that smile could cure any morning crabbiness in any man.

We still haven’t had sex and I’m not upset by that in the least. Just being around her and kissing her is enough for me and with my past, that’s saying a lot. It’s crazy to think about, but the woman has changed me.

I don’t care to admit this, but I’ve come to realize that I was a womanizing man whore. Even before Cloie, I wasn’t the most admirable man. I know it sounds corny and clichéd, but Madison O’day made me a better man.

Hell, I haven’t even thought about making love to her in days.

Well, beside right now.

Whoa, did I seriously just say making love?

I can’t possibly be in love with her. Maybe it was just one of those subconscious things. I didn’t want to make it sound cheap by saying I’d like to fuck her so I made it sound more special.

Yeah, that’s what it was.

I can’t be in love with her.

Nah, no way.

“Morning.” She says, wrapping her arms around my waist, kissing me. She pulls back smiling up at me. I smile down at her, sliding a strand of hair back behind her ear, letting my fingers linger on her cheek.

Holy shit.

I am in love with her.

This can’t be happening right now. I’ve known her for a week for Christ’s sake. This is insane. Maybe it’s the no sex thing. Yeah, that must be it. I just need to take a shower and… relax a little.

She stretches, moving in closer to me, laying her head on my pillow with mine.

“You sleep ok?” she asks, running her hand up and down my back slowly.

“Uh… ye-yeah… You?” I stutter.

She chuckles, “I did… You ok?”

“Uh… yeah. I just need to shower. I’ll make breakfast when I get out.” I say, kissing her forehead before hopping out of the bed, walking into bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

Fuck, it’s going to be a long day…

************************************************************************

Is it just me or was he acting really strange this morning. Well, stranger than normal anyway.

He seemed nervous about something. Maybe it’s his friend coming today. He seemed a little upset when he got the phone call from him yesterday, but I don’t see why he’d be nervous. From what I’ve heard they seem to be really close friends, from childhood even.

I hope it’s not me. I’d hate to be the one making him nervous. I hope I didn’t do anything to upset him. I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary in the last couple of days.

Maybe it’s his friend meeting me. I don’t see why, it’s not like we’re a couple or even sleeping together. I’m more of a roommate than anything.

The door to the bathroom opens and Justin walks back into the room with just a towel hung low on his waist. His body still has a thin layer of water on it and it’s taking everything in me not to jump up and lick the water off him.

Hot damn does he look sexy right now. Right now? Jesus he always look sexy, who am I kidding.

He pauses mid step, “I uh… I thought you went downstairs.”

I shake my head, “I um… I-I was about to.” yeah, after I can tear my eyes away from the tent forming in the front of your towel.

“I just, uh need to grab some clothes.” he stutters nervously.

I nod, following him with my eyes, to the dresser then back to the bathroom.

Well, that was awkward.

I slide out of the bed and make my way down to the kitchen. I grab the eggs and bacon out of the fridge, placing them on the counter when I hear a knock at the front door. I glance at the clock, 9:12. Apparently his friend is a little early.

I walk to the door, pulling it open to find a shorter man with ridiculously crazy brown hair standing there.

“Well, hello there gorgeous.” He says with a wide smile.

I roll my eyes, “You must be Trace.”

He raises an eyebrow, “How would you know that? Did J buy you for me as a present?”

I glare at him, “Do I look like a hooker?”

“Well you are half naked and looking mighty fine at such an early hour.”

I glance down at myself and groan. I picked a good morning to wear a tight fitted tank top with just a pair of boy short panties.

“Justin should be down in a minute.” I say, walking away from the door and back upstairs to put on some clothes. I walk into the room just as he was about to exit.

“Hey you.” He says, pulling me against him, leaning down to kiss me.

I smile when he pulls back, “Hey yourself.” I say pulling away from him to go grab a pair of shorts out of the drawer.

“I like the outfit you have on.” He says, grinning.

“Yeah, well so did your friend.” I say, pulling my shorts on.

His eyes grow wide, “He’s here?”

I nod, “And he thinks I’m a hooker you ordered for him.”

He shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”

I shrug, “As long as the midget doesn’t touch me I’ll be fine.”

He laughs, “I’ll have to let him know you said that.” he says, walking out of the room. I follow behind him watching him do the whole man shake/hug thing with the crude midget.

I wander into the kitchen to finish fixing breakfast while the two lovebirds catch up.

“I thought I said I was making breakfast this morning.” Justin says, walking into the kitchen with his friend on his heals as I scooped the eggs onto three plates.

“I’m starving and I didn’t know how long you were going to be.” I say, grabbing a plate, taking a seat at the table.

“Jesus, she cooks too? Can I take her home with me or is that not part of the deal?”

I jump up from the table and snap, “Look you little ignorant…”

Justin grabs me, laughing, “Whoa, darling.” He says, cutting off my tirade.

“Trace, dude, cut the shit.” Justin says, letting me go. I sit back down, stuffing my mouth with food before I go off on him again.

“Who is she anyways? I thought you were supposed to be here alone getting away from chicks.”

“I was, but this is her parent’s place and she’s been staying here for a little while and her parent’s weren’t aware of that when they rented it out.”

“Because they don’t rent this place.” I mumble.

“Obviously they do sweetheart.” Trace says, chuckling to himself.

I growl, “You can stop being an asshole any time.”

Justin laughs, shaking his head.

“You think this is funny?” I ask him.

He shrugs, “I knew the two of you wouldn’t get along.”

He and Trace grab a plate, taking a seat at the bar, my guess trying to stay away from me.

“Please tell me your banging that, man.” Trace says with a mouth full of eggs.

Attractive.

I’ve just lost my appetite. I grab my plate, walking over to the sink to wash my plate off.

“I’m not banging anything, dickhead.” Justin answers quietly.

“That’s a shame.”

I place the dish in the cupboard and walk by them to leave the room. Trace’s hand lands on my ass with a smack and I freeze in place.

Oh, Hell no!

“You fucking asshole!” I yell, raising my arm to smack him, but Justin grabs me, pulling me away from him.

“Calm down, Madison.” He says, obviously trying to not piss me off more by calling me Maddy.

“He just smacked my ass, Justin.” I growl, fire brewing in my eyes.

“I know, but let’s not get violent ok?” He whispers to me, leading me out of the kitchen.

I stomp up the stairs and into my bedroom, dropping on to the bed. Justin walks in behind me, closing the door and taking a seat next to me.

He takes my hand in his, pulling it up to his mouth, kissing the back of it. He tilts my head towards his with his hand and he looks at me with apologetic eyes.

“Just ignore him, Maddy. He’s a bit of a moron when it comes to women.”

“I noticed.” I say, dropping back on the bed. He climbs over me, straddling my thighs with his.

“What are you doing?” I ask with a smile.

“Shh, I’m making you forget about that crazy midget downstairs.”

He grins, leaning down to kiss me. I wrap my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I pull me legs out from his thighs, wrapping them around his waist pulling him closer. His hand pulls my thigh up higher on his hip. His hand slides slowly up and down my thigh, driving me crazy.

“Is it working?” He asks, pulling away for a second, before attaching his lips to my neck.

“Is what working?” I ask, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.

He chuckles, “I should go back downstairs before he decides to come up here and join in.”

I scrunch up my face in disgust, “Eww… Just keep him away from me. Please.”

He kisses my forehead, “I’ll do my best.” He jumps up from the bed, walking towards the door.

“If he touches me again, you’re sleeping alone for the rest of my stay.” I say, making him stop mid step.

He slowly turns towards me with a raised eyebrow, “Do I still get…”

“No kissing, no touching… Nothing.” I say, cutting him off, “Keep him away from me.”

“Nothing?” He squeaks out, looking a little distraught.

I shake my head, standing up from the bed. I start walking towards the bathroom, pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it to him behind me. I stop in the doorway to the bathroom, looking at him over my shoulder with a grin, “Nothing.”

His eyes grow wide, his eyebrows shoot up and his bottom lip juts out, “You’re mean!” he yells.

I laugh from inside the bathroom. I grab my shorts and panties while opening the door a few inches. I toss them out into the room, “Keep him away from me.”

I hear him groan before the bedroom door opens and shuts.

I laugh, “That aught to do it.”

Something’s going on and I’m not so sure I should question it. I’m actually kind of enjoying it at the moment.

Trace has yet to touch me in a crude manner in the last 24 hours. He even has gone as far as to be kind of sweet. He pulls out my chair at dinner, gets up off the couch when I enter the room, letting me take his seat.

I’m really surprised I haven’t heard anything about Justin and I sleeping in the same room this morning. I was expecting to get an ear full about what liars we are. As if we are just sleeping in the same bed together, but I got nothing but a very nice meal and smiles out of him.

I’m actually a little in shock about the whole thing. I wonder what Justin said or did to him to make him turn into Mr. nice guy.

“So what’s with your tattoo?” He asks, after swallowing a mouth full. See? He’s not even talking with food in his mouth anymore.

“Which one?” I ask, nervously.

I always said if I was going to get a tattoo it had to have a meaning behind it and one of them has a lot of meaning behind it. One I wouldn’t really feel comfortable talking about to him either.

“You have two? I’ve only noticed the flower with the petals falling off it.”

Shit. Go figure he sees the one I would rather he hadn’t.

“She has a Tribal butterfly on her lower back, too.” Justin says, picking up the plates to wash them for me.

“Do they mean anything or are they just spur of the moment type things?” Trace asks, helping Justin with the dishes.

“Umm… N-no… I mean they kind of mean something, but noth-nothing special.” I stutter nervously.

Justin turns to look at me and I can just tell by the look him face he knows I’m hiding something. I have no problem telling him, but his friend is another story.

“Hey, why don’t you go get ready and we’ll go down to the beach I was telling you about.” Justin suggests to Trace. He shrugs, walking off to his room.

“Thank you.” I say, smiling.

He nods, “No problem. You didn’t look like you wanted to talk about it so…”

“Yeah…” I pause contemplating whether or not I should tell him. He stares at me with questions in his eyes so I decided, what the hell.

“The butterfly was just a spur of the moment thing, but it still meant something you know? I got it after I left Joey, one of the crazy guys I was with. He ruined my life and it was meant to set myself free of all the bullshit. That worked out well…” I say, shaking my head.

“And the Flower?” He ask, taking a seat next to me.

“That’s a lot more meaningful than the Butterfly.” I turn away from him to show it to him, “You see the three large petals and two little ones?”

“The ones falling off the flower, right?” He asks, running a finger over it.

“Yeah. The three big ones are for people I’ve lost in my life. One was my Grandmother, then my Aunt, and then… My brother.” I say quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Your brother?” He ask, turning me back towards him.

I nod, letting a tear fall down my face, “Yeah. My brother was a Marine. He was over in Iraq for a total of 5 years. He was actually on his way back home when his plane was shot down. Amazingly he survived the crash, but he later died at the Hospital. One day I’m going to get a tattoo just for him, because he deserves that much from me. He was my life, he was my other half. Literally. We were twins.”

“Oh Wow.” He says, shocked by my admission.

I shrug, “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. My parents weren’t even there for me. They were so pissed off that he went into the Marines and got himself into the war that they didn’t even go to his funeral. They kept saying he did this to himself and they weren’t going to mourn a person that committed suicide.”

“That’s horrible, Maddy.”

“He’s why I was getting so upset when you’d call me Maddy… His name was Matt and I called him Matty.”

He dropped his head, “I’m sorry, I wont do it again.”

I shrug, “It’s actually growing on me.” I say, chuckling.

“I’m sorry… But uh, what about the small ones?”

I take a deep breath, “One’s for my nephew and one’s for my unborn child.”

“Your what?” He asks in shock.

“Matty had a son that died when he was just a few weeks old. Matt had to be at a mandatory meeting at the base and he left Grady with a friends daughter. She had watched Grady before so he didn’t think twice about it, but what he didn’t know was that his nanny was so hyped up on coke that she had passed out while giving Grady a bath… Matt came back a few hours later to find both of them dead in his bathroom. She overdosed and Grady was head down in the water… It was the most horrible feeling in the world to know how he was feeling, but not be able to do a damn thing about it.”

“I’m sorry Madd… Madison.” he quickly corrects himself, “Why don’t they have picture of him in here?”

“Like I said, they weren’t so thrilled with him after he went into the Marines, so they took down everything of his in the house and out here too. I have a picture of him in my room.”

“In the top drawer?” He asks, curiously.

I laugh, “Sneaking around in my drawers?”

He shrugs, “I was looking for the remote?” He says, trying to cover himself.

“Right.”

“I’m just glad I didn’t toss it like I wanted to.” He says, chuckling, “I thought it was one of your old boyfriends.”

I laugh, “You didn’t notice that we look exactly alike?”

He laughs, “Actually I did, but I just thought it was a coincidence.”

“Hey, I’ll meet you down by the water when your done.” Trace says, announcing himself to the room.

“No… You go with him.” I sniff, wiping my face with a napkin.

“No, I’ll be fine. You two keep talking.” He says, making a quick getaway out the back door.

“You can go with him.” I say again.

“Finish your story, Madison.” He says, running his hands up and down my thighs for support.

I groan, dreading this conversation, “One of the horrible six got me pregnant. I found out after I had left them… or they had left me I guess.”

“They?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug, “I was dating one of them and he decided to bring home his old high school buddy one night. I didn’t have much of a choice, I was tied to the bed… One of them got me pregnant.”

“What happened?”

I shrug again, “I don’t know. I was having a ton of cramps and went to the doctor. I had to… You really don’t want to hear this… Let’s just say I lost the baby that day.”

He stares at me, telling me he wants to hear it.

“I’m serious Justin it’s disturbing and you really don’t want to hear it. I lost the baby a way some women do. It’s not at all pleasant, but it happens.”

“Did you get an abortion or something?” He asks, still not letting it go.

“No! I had no reason to.”

“You didn’t know who the father was and I‘m sure neither of them would‘ve wanted to be a father anyways. That’s a pretty good reason.”

“But I was the pregnant one. I don’t care if they wanted to be a part of it or not. I would’ve been.”

He nods, “What if they would’ve wanted it and you hadn’t. Would you have kept it and let either of them take care of it?”

I stare at him, confused, “I did want it though.”

“I know, but what if it was reversed. What would you have done?”

I stare at him for a minute before speaking, “Why are you asking me this Justin?”

He sighs, “Because one of my exes didn’t want to have kids and didn’t care about what I thought and just got an abortion without even telling me. I found out from her mother a year after it had happened.”

“I’m sorry, Justin.” I sigh, “I honestly don’t know what I’d do in that situation because I’d never be in that situation. No matter what, I had a part in making this child. I can’t just get rid of it because I made a mistake. No baby deserves that. Every one has their own opinions about this though.”

He nods, “So what really happened?”

I bite my upper lip, “I lost the baby in a toilet at my doctors office.”

“Oh my god!” He all but yelled, “That’s horrible.”

“Tell me about it.” I sigh again, “I’m gonna go lay down. Why don’t you go have some fun with your friend.” I say, standing and heading straight for my room. I climb on the bed, pulling the sheet up over me.

A few minutes later I hear someone come into the room. I assume it’s Justin getting his swim shorts, but I’m surprised when I feel the bed dip and an arm around my waist.

“You ok, Madison?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

He hugs be in closer to him, kissing my bare shoulder.

I’m really going to miss him. I only have three more days here before he leaves to go back to his life. I don’t know what I’m going to do here all by myself. I’ve become accustomed to seeing him everyday and hanging out with him. I’m going to drive myself insane.

I’m going to miss this part too.

He brushed my hair off my neck with his nose, latching his mouth to my neck in soft wet kisses. His mouth does insane things to my body and I’m not even sure he’s really trying.

He gently tugs on my waist, pulling me onto my back. He continues to kiss my neck, slowly moving to my cheek and down my jaw line until landing on my lips.

If I haven’t told you yet, I’m completely and utterly obsessed with kissing this man. I could literally lay here for hours just kissing him. I’ve kissed some pretty great guys before, but there’s something about the way he kisses me that makes my heart flutter and I get butterflies in my belly.

I slide my hands up the front of his shirt, rubbing the hard, silky skin of his abdomen.

Another thing I’m going to miss, his hard ass body.

His hand glides under my shirt, stopping just below my breast. His knuckles gently graze the bottom of them sending jolts of pleasure through my body. I pull away from his kiss to catch my breath and he immediately attaches his lips to my neck again. His hand slips, his thumb rubbing over my overly sensitive nipple causing me to moan.

Justin freezes on my neck and the only sound in the room is our labored breathing.

“We should probably stop.” Justin whispers in my ear, kissing me on the temple. He slips his hand out from under my shirt, then slowly pulls my hands from under his.

“I should probably go meet Trace.” He says, still breathing rather heavily.

“You don’t have to go.” I say, not really knowing myself what I mean by that.

“I-I think I do.” He stutters, backing away from me.

He stands at the end of the bed, staring down at me, “We made a deal. We can’t just break that with only three days to go, right?” He says, and I wonder if he really means it or if he wants me to say fuck it.

We did make a deal and at this very second I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I know this is the last thing we need. It’s been a little over a week for the both of us and this will just bring us back to where we started. We both are on this little vacation here to get a new start. What good would it do us to revert back to how we were before we came here?

Listen to me, I sound like this is a frigging rehab center or something. It’s a beach house for Christ’s sake. I’m not a therapist and neither is he. What do we know about fixing our problems?

I say fuck it.

I just hope he’s feeling the same way.

I couldn’t do it.

She actually called me out and I couldn’t do it.

I, Justin Timberlake, actually said no to sex with a woman I’ve been trying to sleep with for over a week.

What the hell’s the matter with me?

She was just sitting there on the bed, looking damn near edible, batting her eyelashes, and she just said ‘fuck the deal.’ I think I stood there, glazed over for a good ten minutes before turning and hightailing it out of there. I may have mumbled some stupid shit about needing to make a phone call or something. I honestly don’t remember much.

Where did I get this superhuman strength?

I was just trying to make her feel better by getting her mind off things. I figure what better way then seducing her right? Well, apparently it worked a lot better than I had intended and I freaked.

I had her in my arms, I had touched her damn nipple for the first fucking time and I walked away?

What the hell has happened to me?

“Everything ok, man?” Trace asks, taking a seat in the lawn chair beside me.

I nod slowly, “Yeah.”

“You’re a horrible liar, you know that right?” he says, chuckling to himself, taking a swig of his beer.

“I just turned down sex with a gorgeous woman.” I deadpan.

He chokes on his beer, spitting it out in front of him, “You what?”

“After eleven days of trying to get her to have sex with me, she finally gives in and I bail.”

“So… does that mean she’s… naked… upstairs?”

I turn to glare at him, “No, you little fucker, she’s not naked upstairs. If she was do you think I’d be down here?”

“I don’t know you just passed up sex with one of the hottest chicks I’ve seen in a long, long time.”

“You’re not helping.” I growl, shaking my head.

“She’s hotter than all hell, has legs that could wrap around you twice, she has a tight ass…” He says with a chuckle.

“Remember what I told you, fucker.” I warn again.

“Yeah, I know.” He shivers, “You’d really tell my mother that story?”

“Go near her again, or talk to her in a harsh manner again and I’ll plaster that story on every billboard available.”

“I was nineteen, man… You were the sick fuck that thought up that dare.” He says, panicking.

“You could’ve passed on it, but you didn’t.”

“Oh yeah, because standing on stage at an Nsync concert naked was a better option.” Trace says, smacking my arm.

“You play with the big boys, you suffer the consequences…”

“The big boys? I’m older and much bigger,” he pauses to position his hands a foot apart from each other, and I roll my eyes, “than you are, dipshit. And besides, it’s not like you really gave me an option.”

I laugh, “Yes I did. It was either stand naked on stage for twenty minutes or…”

“Don’t even say it out loud!” he yells, cutting me off.

I laugh again, “Stay away from her and your secret will be safe with me… and the rest of the guys.”

“Fuck… Hey isn’t that MO?” He asks, pointing towards the water.

“MO?” I ask, confused.

“Madison O’Day… MO… Shit your stupid.” He says, shaking his head.

“When the hell did you start calling her by a nickname?”

He shrugs, “It just came to me when she told me her last name this morning.”

“Why the fuck did you ask her what her last name was?”

He shrugs again, “I got bored waiting for you to come downstairs and I was running out of things to say other than asking why the fuck you two weren’t fucking like rabbits, and trying to figure out how you two can just be sleeping in the same bed together.”

I growl, “You bite your tongue Ayala or I swear to God I’ll cut your balls off and feed them to you.”

“So you tell my worst story to date and you’ll cut off my balls? Wow, you’re an amazing friend.”

“Just be nice to her from now on.”

“It’s two days… I can handle it.”

“Three, shit for brains.”

“Well, shit… If I have to look at that for three more days I may take her up on the sex offer. Oh the things I could do to that girl. Mmmm.” Trace says looking back over towards Madison.

I turn to see what he’s ogling over and my heart stops, breath hitches in my throat and my cock just sprang to attention.

She has got to be wearing the tiniest bikini known to man. I’m not even sure you can call what she’s wearing more than just scraps of fabric covering, well, not a whole hell of a lot. She’s currently got her left leg straight up in the air while rubbing tanning oil, very slowly up and down her leg.

Quite honestly, I’m not sure the scene in front of me could get any sexier. Maybe it’s just me and the fact that she’s the only woman I’ve seen in over a week, but If Trace wasn’t here with me right now, she’d be helping relieve some of my stress.

Oh the things she’s done this past week to me. First with the kitchen episode and then there was the bathtub incident. Holy fuck was that amazing. I knocked to see if she was decent and she of course said she was. I walked in and she was submerged in a tub of bubbles. The tops of her breasts were peaking out with every breath she took. She kept looking at me with that wicked smile, then she pulled the shower head down, turning it on the jet setting then let it disappear under the water with her hands.

The look of pure pleasure on her face when that jet of water hit her clit, fuck, it was incredible. Her feet were perched on either side of the tub, her toes curling over the edge.

Then she whispers through her pants, “Let me watch you too.”

With shaky hands I got down to business very quickly, catching up to her. She panted and moaned, getting two very wild and very wicked orgasms. It was when she moaned my name, that made me explode. I’d never came that hard in my life.

Then there was the beach scene.

If anyone was on this little stretch of land, they would have pictures worth billions. She was very creative with a bottle of lotion to say the least.

She sat on the edge of a foldable beach chair with her legs spread a wide as she could get them. I was seated on a towel at the end of the chair with one incredible view. That little spray bottle never had it so good. I watched that lucky fucker go in and out while her tiny manicured fingers went crazy on her clit.

She fell back on the chair panting after she came. She watched me finish by looking down over her body, her fingers still idly circling her clit as I came onto the sand. She giggled as she tossed me the bottle when our breathing came back to normal.

She’s one wicked little lady.

I can honestly say I will never, ever forget this place. I’m pretty positive I’ll be installing extreme jet setting shower heads in every bathroom of every house I own. That fucking piece of plastic got more action then I did this week. I’m jealous of a damn shower head.

Speaking of head, I’m pretty sure I could use some right now. She’s switched legs and from the look on Trace’s face, he’s about to pounce on her.

“Is this the view you get everyday?”

“Oh, believe me it get’s better.” I say without thinking.

He laughs, “Do tell, my friend.”

“Not on your life.” I say, hopping up off the chair, making my way down the stairs towards Madison.

“You’re blocking the sun.” She says completely expressionless.

“You’re giving a midget a hard-on.” I say with just as much enthusiasm.

“Doesn’t take much does it?” She says with a deep sigh.

“Are you doing this to piss me off?”

“Why would laying in the sun piss you off?” She asks with a chuckle.

“You know what your doing you little minx.”

She laughs, “Did you seriously just call me a minx?”

“Will you cut the shit, Madison.” I sigh, crouching down in front of her chair, “Look, I’m sorry I walked out on you earlier, but we made a deal and… Fuck! You were the one that made that stupid fucking deal in the first place and then you go and throw me a curveball like that? Are you trying to kill me? Are you testing me? What? What the hell are you doing?”

“I was sick of playing games with you. We’ve been playing this stupid cat and mouse game for over a week and I figured, what’s the point anymore?”

“Madison, we were finally improving ourselves. You have done amazing and I don’t know… I feel completely different now then when I got here. I mean, I walked away from sex. What does that say about what you’ve done for me? There isn’t a snowballs chance in hell I’d have ever done that before.” I sigh, “It’s like I said the first day I met you…” I point towards her, “You changed me.”

A single tear fell down her cheek, “I didn’t believe you then… And I don’t believe you now.”

“What the fuck do you want me to do Madison? Shit, I passed on sex with you! That’s huge for me. Do you want to know why I did?” I ask, getting frustrated.

She shakes her head.

“Too fucking bad.” I growl at her, “I did it because I didn’t want our first time to be with Trace waiting for me downstairs. I want it to be nice and when we both feel right about it.”

“You are so full of shit. You passed on sex because I’m not good enough for you.” She jumps up from the chair, flailing her arms around, “I’m not one of your Hollywood Barbie dolls. This was just going to be a fling to you and I guess I’m glad you turned me down. At least now I can live with the fact that for once I wasn’t used by a man… So… Thanks.” She stomps off, pulling a sundress over her bikini.

I open my mouth to stop her, but nothing came out.

I just stand there watching the best thing to ever happen to me, walk away.

He’s gone.

After two days of ignoring each other, he just left. No good-bye, no nothing.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little upset by that. I mean, we’ve spent the last two weeks together and he can’t even say good-bye to me?

I guess that just proves I was right about him. I was just another notch on his belt and he got mad when I wouldn’t give him what he wanted. Then when I wanted to give in, I wasn’t good enough anymore.

Hell, Trace even said good-bye to me. The little midget hugged me a little too long and gave me a tap on the ass before he left. I knew the whole being nice to me thing was all an act, but shit, I wish I knew why.

Well, I guess there’s no use dwelling on someone that couldn’t even be bothered enough to say good-bye to me. So, I’ll run. Run until I get to my favorite place in the entire world.

My rocks looking out over the ocean.

I climb up to the top and make my way towards the edge to sit to just relax. I spot a piece of paper flapping in the wind being held down by a rock. Curiosity got the best of me so I grabbed the paper, tossing the rock in the water below.

The piece of paper shook in my hand as drops of water hit it over and over. It took me a minute to realize I was crying. I sobbed for what felt like hours, just sitting on the rocks.

What have I done?

************************************************************************

I’m officially driving myself insane.

I’ve been crying constantly for weeks now and I don’t know what to do about it. I miss him, my heart feels hallow without him around and I have to admit that scares the shit out of me.

I told myself I wouldn’t let my heart get involved, but I guess it has a mind of it’s own.

I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been trying my hardest to get past this, but it’s tearing me apart.

“Maddy, just call him.” My good friend, Hadley says for the thousandth time.

“Had, I can’t.”

“Tell me again why you can’t call a man your in love with.” She says and I can just see her shaking her head at me.

“Hadley, he’s moved on. I’m sure he picked up some chick in the friggin’ airport for Christ’s sake. He hadn’t had sex in two weeks, he was due and I’m sure there were some good looking Barbie dolls at the airport or at his house just waiting for him.”

“Mad, not every guy is a jerk.”

“He all but, flat out admitted that he was a sex addict. I was the only thing available to him and he wanted me until he realized he could do so much better. I don’t need that in my life Hads.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Mads. He cared enough to leave you a note in your favorite spot in the world telling you you’re an amazing woman. He has feelings for you, he’s just as scared as your are to admit them out loud.”

“If he cared he would have called.”

“Does he even have your number?” She asks.

“Well, no, but he knows how to get in touch with my parents and they know my number.”

“Yeah, like Victoria and Peter would ever give out your number to anyone. They hardly want to even admit to you being apart of their family.”

I sigh, “They know who he is though. I mean they let him rent this place and you know they don’t do that for just anyone.”

“Did you ever stop to think that the big Musician didn’t do his dirty work for himself. I’m sure he has people who called and made the arrangements for him to stay there which means your parents don’t have a flipping clue who was at their house. They know they got a shit load of money for it and that’s all they care about.”

“I hate it when your right Hads.” I admit with a sigh.

“Call him.” She says yet again.

“No, I think it’s time to let go.”

“Madison, don’t do this.” She says sadly.

“I have to Hadley. I can’t take this anymore and I know if I call him and he’s with another woman it will tear me apart even more. I think it’s just best for me to move on and get over this.”

I just wish I knew how.

************************************************************************

I’ve been busying myself in the studio for the past three months, but nothing seems to be enough to take my mind off Madison. I miss her. I flat out can’t stand being away from her and there’s nothing I can do about it.

The day I got back I was rushed into a meeting. First I had to work with three different artist and get out a single for each of them ASAP. Then I had to work with Trace on our Fall clothing line. Then I got phone call after phone call about an ‘issue’ at the restaurant.

I’m so overloaded with shit, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’ve working my ass off for the last three months and I honestly feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. I know in reality I have and that’s all well and fine, but I still feel just out of it without Madison around.

I miss walking into a room to be greeted by that magical smile of hers. I miss hearing her laugh, fuck I miss just looking into her beautiful blue eyes, running my hand through her silky hair.

Fuck, I miss the hell out of her.

Trace has dragged me out to club after club almost every night, trying his hardest to get me to take any of the assorted women around us home. I can’t and I wont. I’ve turned down more ass the past three months then I ever thought I could in a lifetime.

I wish I could just call her, but I haven’t the slightest idea how to get in touch with her. I tried her parent’s but they claimed to not know whether or not she even had a cell phone and the beach house didn’t have a landline.

“Are you ever going to snap out of this funk?” Trace mutters, just loud enough for me to hear. “If you want this to be a hit, you need to put your heart in it man.”

I shrug with a sigh, telling Ciara to do another take. This song is going to be hot, but Trace is right, I need to snap out of this funk if I want it to be a hit. I can’t put my heart in this as much as I want though, because my hearts in a house in Miami Beach.

“Why don’t we call it a day C… I’ll play around with what we have at home and we’ll come back clean tomorrow.” I say through the speaker. She nods, waving as she leaves. Her crew follows her out after saying their good-byes leaving me and Trace alone.

“Dude, I really think you need to get over this chick and fast. It’s seriously fucking with your life and it’s not good, man.”

“What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing for the last three months, Trace? I’ve been trying my goddamn hardest to get over her, but I can’t.” I yell, running a hand over my face with a frustrated sigh.

“I just want to hear her voice, see her smile again. I miss her like fucking crazy and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Call her.” He says.

“I don’t have her number.” I grumble.

“What if I told you I knew how to get in touch with her?” He says with a defeated sigh.

I turn quickly towards him, “You know how to get in touch with her? How?”

“She called me a few weeks ago. I still have her number on my phone.” He admits.

I could kill him, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? What did she want?”

He sighs, “She was calling because you left a couple of shirts there and she wanted to know how to get them back to you.”

“That’s it?” I ask, staring at him somewhat patiently.

He groans, shaking his head.

“What else?” I push.

“She wanted to know how you were doing.”

“And?” I push harder.

“I told her you were fine.” He pauses, but I can just tell there’s more.

“And…”

He sighs, heavily, “I may have said something about you having dinner with a woman.”

“You what?” I yell, “Why the fuck would you do that?”

“It wasn’t a lie! You were out with Ciara.” He defends himself.

“On business with ten other people, which I’m sure you forgot to mention. What the fuck Trace!” I yell getting more and more pissed off by the second.

“I figured it was for the best.”

“Well you were wrong.” I curse under my breath, “You just fucked up something that could’ve been the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“But you’re here and she’s there. You wouldn’t have become anything anyway. I figured I could get her to move on while I was trying to get you to move on.”

“I don’t want to move on! I want her.” I yell, grabbing his shirt, shaking him with each word.

“Then call her… Tell her I’m an idiot, which she already knows and… tell her how you feel.”

“Like she’ll fucking believe me now. She’s been fucked over by so many men… Fuck now she thinks I did it to her too. What’s the matter with you?”

“Well, Fuck! You’ve been so fucking quiet lately I figured you were just pissed off to be home. I didn’t realize you missed this chick.”

“I don’t just miss her, man.” I let his shirt go, “I’m in love with her.”

His eyes bulge out his head, “You’re what?”

“I love her and you just fucked up any chance I had with her.” I say, turning and walking out of the studio leaving him to his thoughts.

I spent the rest of the night pissed off, certainly not sleeping. The next morning wasn’t much better than the day before and I could tell Ciara was getting a little pissed off with me. She wouldn’t say shit with a mouthful, but if looks could kill…

After lunch things started to go a little more smoothly, but I still wasn’t on my A game. Trace never showed up and it’s probably for the best. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been on my best behavior if I had to look at him today.

After the longest ten hours of my life, I asked everyone to go home. I figure if I can just get some sleep tonight, tomorrow will be a better day.

“You work awfully late. No wonder you needed a vacation.” I hear as everyone starts to file out.

My head whips towards the door and my heart stops beating.

Madison.

“Hey Superstar.” She says with that gorgeous smile.

Am I hallucinating? Am I really this sleep deprived that I’m envisioning her here with me right now? She can’t be real. There’s no way she’s really here.

I stand up slowly, walking over to her. I lift my hand to her face and my breath hitches in my throat.

“Holy fuck, you’re real.” I say in amazement.

She laughs, “One hundred percent real.”

“What are you doing here?”

She shrugs, still smiling, “I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d just drop off your shirts instead of mailing them.”

“Oh.” So she’s hear just to drop off the shirts?

“Why are you in the neighborhood? LA isn’t exactly close to Miami.”

“My parents live in Malibu… It’s only about an hour away so…”

I nod slowly, “So you’re talking to your parents again?”

She shrugs disheartened, “I guess. I’m really just up here to visit my brother… It’s been two years today and I haven’t been to his grave in awhile so…”

I nod slowly, “I’m sor…”

She waves her hand, “Don’t… I’ll start crying and I’ve done enough of that lately.”

“How’d you know I was here?” I ask trying to change the subject.

“I stopped by your house first. Uh, shit… I think her name was Rachelle? I don’t remember, she was really pretty and she told me you were here so… Here I am.”

“Rachel… She’s my cousin and she works for me.” I say and see a flash of relief in her eyes. That’s always a good sign.

“Right, Rachel. I’m sorry.”

I chuckle, “No biggie… Rachelle is better than what she normally gets called so…”

“Justin? Where’d you go? Sweetie you better be buying me dinner tonight after working me this hard today.” Ciara says, walking out of the recording room.

“Hey… I’m Ciara.” she says to Madison, extending her hand out in front of her.

Madison stares at Ciara with pain filled eyes, “I‘m… Madison.” She shakes her hand quickly before turning towards me, “Oh…” She reaches in her bag pulling out three of my shirts that she had worn as night gowns. “Here.”

“I don’t want them.” They remind me too much of you.

She laughs, a little shocked, “Why?”

“Just… Keep ‘em… You looked a lot better in them than I did.” I say looking towards Ciara, who looks completely lost.

She laughs nervously, “I’m not keeping your shirts, Justin.”

“Well I don’t want them.” I snap.

She steps back, shocked by my outburst, “I’m- I-I’m sorry I b-bothered you.” she bites her bottom lip turning towards the door. She pauses turning towards Ciara, “It was nice to… meet you.” She all but runs out of the room and I’m frozen in place.

“You too!” Ciara yells after her, “Who was that?” She asks turning towards me.

“The woman I’m in love with.” I whisper.

“Oh wow…“ She pauses her eyes growing wide, “Go after her, she probably thinks we’re together or something. Oh god.” She says panicking.

I heave open the door, running towards the front doors. I pause in the parking lot looking around, realizing I have no idea what she’d be driving.

“Fuck.” I yell, grabbing my phone, dialing Trace’s number.

“Yo.” He answers.

“What’s Madison’s number?” I ask, quickly.

“Uh… Why?”

“Just give me the goddamn number Trace.” I yell.

“Fuck, chill out dude. She’ll still be in Miami when you call…” He says with a laugh.

“That’s fucking funny because she was right here a second ago and now she’s gone again. Give me the goddamn number Trace.”

“She was there?” He squeaks out.

“The number!” I yell.

I whip around when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I snap my phone shut and just stare down at her.

“You’re still here.” I whisper.

“I’m waiting for a cab.” she says quietly.

“Madison, that wasn’t what you think it was.“

“Oh don’t worry, Trace told me about her so it’s fine. I was just dropping off your shirts I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“I’m not with Ciara… I’ve never been with Ciara. We just work together. That’s all.” I explain, looking her straight in the eye.

“So there’s another woman you went on a date with?” She shakes her head, “Not that it matters.”

“It does matter. Madison, that night I was at dinner with Ciara.” I stop when I see the pain flow through her eyes, “We were out with about ten other people. It was a business dinner for her new album.”

She shrugs, “It doesn’t matter who you have dinner with Justin. It’s not like we were together or anything.”

“Then why do you look so upset?”

“Because…”

“Because why?” I ask, making her look at me.

“Because… I didn’t want you to revert back to your old ways so quickly. I figured… I don‘t know I just figured you really had changed, but I guess I was wrong.” She says with a shrug.

“I have changed.” I whisper.

“Yeah… I guess you‘ve at least moved on from short, pushover brunettes.” She shrugs it off, “Look, it doesn’t matter. I’m not upset or anything.”

“You’re not upset? That’s funny I could have sworn I’d seen a whole lot of pain in your eyes when you saw Ciara in the studio back there.”

“So we’re going to fight now? Great.” She says shaking her head, ignoring the question completely.

I tilt her head back to face me, “I’m not fighting with you, I’m trying to get you to talk to me. I’m trying to explain that I have changed. Shit I haven’t had sex in over three fucking months.”

She snorts, “Yeah right.”

“I’m serious. Ask Trace. He’s been bugging the shit out of me since we got back. He thinks I have an STD or something and I don’t dare to pass it on.”

She laughs, “He’s sick.”

I laugh, “I know…” I sigh, “Maddy, I missed you. I have yet to stop thinking about you and the last thing I want is for you to leave thinking you meant nothing to me because you did… You do.”

“Justin I said I wasn’t upset so you don’t need to explain anything to me. I knew what I was coming into after I called Trace so seeing you with her wasn‘t as big of a shock as I thought it would be. I‘m not upset that you‘ve… moved on with your life. Not that you really had anything to move on from because again it‘s not like we were a couple or anything.” She says looking everywhere but at me.

“So, your not at all upset because you have feelings for me?”

She snorts, “No.” She shakes her head, looking off into the parking lot.

I grab her head in my hands, pulling her towards me for a kiss. I intertwine my fingers in her hair, pulling her as close to me as I could. She fists my shirt in her hands, letting out a whimper.

Fireworks go off in my head. I don’t know how I got through the last three months without her.

“You’re a horrible liar.” I say against her lips.

“I know.” She whispers against mine.

I tilt her head back so I could look at her, “So tell me the truth now.”

“I have… a lot of feelings for you.” she whispers.

I grin, “Oh yeah?”

She smiles, “Yeah.”

I lean down, “I have a lot of feelings for you too.” I whisper against her lips before kissing her.

I can’t believe we finally admitted we have feelings towards each other.

I feel so… Free.

Justin and I went back to his house last night and what a house it is. I thought my parent’s house was outrageous. You should see this place. It’s incredible. I need a friggin’ map to find the bathroom.

I know what your thinking and the answer is no. We didn’t sleep together. We didn’t even stay in the same room. I actually slept closer to Trace then I did Justin. We both decided that we were going to take this… what ever this is, slow.

Again, I know what your thinking. ‘haven’t you been going slow enough already?’ and I would have to agree with you, but I want this time to be perfect. I’m not at all delusional thinking this is going to be perfect, but I just don’t want it to go as horribly as my last few relationships have gone.

If we made it through two weeks with no sex, what’s another few weeks, right?

I suddenly remember how hard it was those two weeks when Justin walks into my guest room sans shirt.

Remind me again why we’re taking this slow…

“Hey beautiful. Sleep ok?” he asks, taking a seat against the headboard next to me.

“I did, thank you.” I grin, trying my hardest not to stare at his naked chest.

“See something you like darlin’?” He asks with a wide grin.

Apparently I failed miserably. “Hey, I haven’t seen it in a while. I’m just making sure nothing’s changed.”

He laughs, “am I good?”

“Very good.” I say, biting my lower lip.

“Now see this isn’t fair.”

“What’s not fair?” I ask, looking back up at his face.

“You can make sure I’m the same, but you’re all covered up and for all I know you could be hiding some serious changes under there.” He says, pulling at my tank-top.

I smack his hand away, “I’m the same. Promise.”

“I don’t know if I can take that. I think I need to find out on my own.” He says, slowly inching closer, running the tip of his nose up my neck.

I smile, pushing him away, “If you want I can show you, but there will be no touching. Can you handle that?”

He groans, “It’s been a long time darlin’.”

“For me too, but I’m holding back.” I say standing at the end of the bed slowly inching my shirt up my belly.

“Slow… We’re taking this slow right?” He asks, staring at the exposed skin of my belly.

“That’s what we said.” I whisper, inching my shirt a little higher.

“We we’re taking things slow in Miami too right?” He asks, still staring at my belly.

I chuckle to myself knowing what I’m doing to him, “We were.”

He slowly moves his eyes up my body until he reached my eyes, “So we can still… Help each other out right?”

A grin slowly forms on my face, “I’m sure that’s not against any rules.”

“Then take that shirt off darling and show me what I’ve been missing for three very long months.”

I giggle pulling my shirt up a little higher when the door flies open followed by a very excited Trace. My hands fall to my sides, forcing my shirt to fall with them and he runs towards me, lifting me in the air and twirling me around in circles. He puts me back down and I stumble back shocked.

“What the hell was that for?” I ask, wide eyed.

“Because you put the smile back on his face,” he gestures towards me with his thumb, “and I get to see your sexy ass everyday.” He says, winking at me.

“Gay bar Trace…” Justin says, glaring at him.

I laugh, “What about a gay bar?”

“Nothing!” Trace yells, covering my ears with his hands.

“Justin you swore you would never tell anyone. What the fuck man.”

“Well, let me see… First you smacked her ass and called her a hooker all in a matter of minutes of meeting her. You lied to her, making her think I was dating another woman, then you conveniently forget to tell me she called all while hiding the fact you had her number in your phone for almost a month. Then you come in here without knocking, you cock blocking son of a bitch, and comment on her sexy ass, which I will have to agree with you, but it doesn’t make it ok. I think any of those things are grounds for a little story time with Maddy.” He says, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m begging you man, please don’t.”

“It’s Maddy or your mom.”

“That’s not fucking fair man, come on!” He yells, taking a step back from me.

“I warned you when we were in Miami. Remember?” Justin says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, you pulled that, no more talking shit about her card.”

“And you still pull out the, I get to see your sexy ass everyday line?”

“Fuck man, I wasn’t thinking. I was just happy to see her.”

“You’ve been trying to force me to get over her for three months and now your happy to see her?”

He shrugs, “It’s not my fault she’s hot.”

Justin glares at Trace for a second before turning towards me with a grin, “So Trace was dumb enough to pick dare during a hardcore game of Truth or Dare back in the Nsync days…”

“Blah… blah… blah…” Trace yells, placing his hands over my ears again.

“And he decided he didn’t want to do the dare I gave him.” Justin yells loud enough for me to still hear.

“Justin come on man…” he says, dropping his hands from my ears.

“He knew what would happen if he had passed on a dare from the very beginning and he still passed.”

“You wanted me to go out on stage in front of Thousands of people naked for twenty minutes. I would have scarred kids for years!” Trace says, defending himself.

“Is it that small?” I ask, laughing.

“Fuck you.” He says towards me and I just laugh harder.

“Oh I’m definitely telling her now.” Justin says, shaking his head.

“No! I’m sorry Madison. I ‘m so sorry!”

“Oh come on, Trace. I mean after all the ass spankings you’ve given me don’t you think I deserve an embarrassing story about you.”

“All the ass spankings? How many times did you smack her ass, Trace?” Justin asks, sitting up in bed.

“Just the onc….” Trace Starts, but I quickly interrupt him.

“Think about that Trace…”

“Huh?… Oh shit…” He winces looking at Justin, “Three times.”

“Three?” Justin yells, “Are you fucking kidding me. Was that before or after I warned you.”

“One before two after.” I answer for him when he remained quiet.

“You touched her even after I warned you. Oh now it’s both Maddy and your mom hearing this story.”

“Wait!” Trace yells, wide eyed. “Ok we can tell Maddy, but I beg you, please don’t tell Mom.”

Justin laughs, “Deal.”

I hop on the bed next to Justin, bouncing a little with excitement, “I love story time.” I say, grinning at Trace who just groans taking a seat at the end of the bed.

“As I was saying, Trace didn’t take the dare I gave him. We made rules before we started the game that if you passed on a dare you had to go to the nearest gay bar in whatever city we were in, pick up a very hairy, very large gay man and take him back to a hotel and… show him a good time.” Justin says, barely being able to get it all out through his laughter.

“Oh my god.” I gasp, laughing.

“Ok enough laughing.” Trace says, emotionlessly.

“Was he any good Trace?” I ask, laughing harder.

“Fuck off, I watched a movie with the guy.” He says, shaking his head.

“Yeah, after he took off his shirt and wrapped his arms around you while you two were snuggled in the bed.” Justin says, laughing hysterically.

“You snuggled in bed with him?” I ask, beginning to cry I was laughing so hard.

“We didn’t snuggle.”

“You were spooning for Christ’s sake.” Justin laughs out.

“We weren’t spooning.” Trace defends himself.

“His dick was nice and snug with your ass and he had his arms wrapped around you so tight I thought we’d lose you in his gut.”

“Alright we got our laugh, now can we move on.”

“Wait… wait, how did you get him out of there?” I ask, wiping my face with my fingers.

“Oh this part is good.” Justin says, laughing again.

“I… mayhavekissedhimontheforeheadbeforetellinghimi’dberightback.” he mumbles extremely fast.

“You kissed him? Oh that’s good.” I say, laughing again. “Did he come looking for you when you never came back?”

“Fucked if I know. I hightailed it out of there so fast.”

“How long were you cuddling with him before you left?”

“Five hours.” Justin answers for him.

“I’m glad you two got your laughs for the day. I’m going to go wake up Rachel and make her start cooking breakfast.” Trace says, moping his way out of the room.

“You’re a horrible friend for making him do that.” I says, shaking my head at him.

“He’s the one that reneged on the dare not me. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed to play the game.”

“It was still horrible to do to him. I can tell he’s scarred for life now because of it.”

“Oh I don’t know. He may have found his calling. That man didn’t stop talking about his snuggling skills for weeks.”

“And how would you know that?” I ask, with a raised eyebrow.

“One of the guys we were with that night was gay and that was his normal hangout. He called me a month later telling me Franco was really upset about Trace bailing on him.”

“That poor guy.” I shake my head feeling horrible for Trace and… Franco the hairy, fat man Traced bailed on.

“Can we stop talking about Trace and get back to you undressing for me.”

“I think I can handle that.” I say, pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it across the room.

Damn I’ve missed this.

Maddy is standing at the side of the bed in nothing but a pair of the tiniest boy short panties I’ve ever seen. She has one incredible little body on her and I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this without thrusting her up against the wall and fucking her senseless.

Hot damn is she sexy as hell.

“Like I said, I’m the same.” She says, smiling down at me.

“I don’t know, you look a little smaller than you were before.” I say just pulling her chain.

“Smaller?” She says with a chuckle, “If anything, I’m bigger. I had more ice cream the last three months then I have in the last ten years of my life.”

“Ice cream does a body good then.” I say, taking another slow glance up and down her body.

She smiles, kneeling on the bed, crawling towards me to straddle my lap. My hands automatically fly to her hips, grinding her into my already hard cock. We both moan, closing our eyes at the sensation.

“Touch me, Justin.” She whispers in my ear.

I groan, “Isn’t that against the rules?” I ask against my better judgment.

“The only rule we have is no sex. That doesn’t mean you can’t touch me.” she says, running her hands down my chest.

“So,” I take her hands in mine, “This,” I wrap her hand around my hard cock, squeezing a little, “can’t go in this.” I say, leaving her hand on my dick as I cup her mound in my hand.

“That sounds about right.” She says, her breath hitching in her throat.

“Those are the only rules right?” I ask, trying to get all the ground rules out of the way.

“Uhh… Yeah… Your dick can’t go near my pussy, that’s it.” She says, finally moving her hand up and down my dick, eliciting a moan from deep in my throat.

Two can play this game.

My fingers find their way under her panties and I thrust two of them inside her. Her eyes slam shut, her head falls back and her mouth falls open in a short moan. My fingers thrust in and out of her as much as they could with the small amount of moving room I had. Her hand moved on me as fast and as hard as I moved in her and I was on the verge of explosion and I couldn’t let this end this quickly.

I pulled my fingers out of her, pushing her back against the bed. I curled my fingers in the sides of her panties, slowly pulling them down her legs, tossing them in the pile of her clothes on the floor next to the bed. Kneeling between her legs, I stop to just stare.

She’s gorgeous.

I know I’ve seen her naked, but never all at once. A boob here and ass there, but together… There aren’t even words to describe how incredibly sexy and beautiful she is.

“See something you like?” She jokes, throwing my words back at me.

“I have yet to find something I don’t like.” I say, leaning over her, capturing her lips with mine.

I slowly make my way down her body, making sure to find all her erogenous zones along the way. I stop at her hip and grin.

“Now you said you were the same and I know this wasn’t here the last time I saw you with your panties off.” I say, raising an eyebrow up at her.

She looks down at me with a smile, “Surprise.”

I laugh, “What’s this one for?” I ask, looking back down at it, tracing it with my finger.

Well, I’ll be damned.

I look back up at her with a raised eyebrow, “A music note?”

She shrugs, “I needed something other than your shirts to remember you by.”

“You got that for me?” I ask, amazed she’d actually do something like this.

She shrugs again, “I was getting my brother’s initials on my wrist done,” She starts, showing me her wrist with MAO tattooed in script font, “and I was at the point were I was determined to get you out of my head.”

“So you got a tattoo to remind you of me?”

“Well, I don’t exactly stare at my hips all day long and I figured if you were somewhere else on my body you’d get out of my head. It didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped.”

I laugh, “Doesn’t sound like it would have.”

“Are you weirded out by that?” She asks, looking a little scared.

“Not at all. I actually find it extremely sexy.” I say, kissing the tattoo.

“Breakfast is ready!” Trace yells through the door.

“I’m going to kill that man.” I growl, glaring at the door.

She laughs, “At least he didn’t barge in this time.”

I look down at her smiling, “This is true.” I sigh, “You hungry?”

“Well, I’m certainly not horny anymore. That guy tends to turn me off real quick.”

I groan, “He’s a dead man walking.”

She laughs, “Aww poor baby…” she bends up, kissing me, “We can always continue later. I do need a shower.” She says with a wink before climbing off the bed, dressing.

************************************************************************

“Have I mentioned how much I hate you lately?” Justin says to Trace as we walk into the kitchen. “Hey Rach.” He says, sending her a nod.

“Justin… And it was Madison right?” She says looking over towards me.

“Yeah.” I say, nervously.

What the hell am I nervous about? I don’t have any reason to be nervous. It’s not like I’m meeting his parents or anything. It’s just his cousin.

But what if she doesn’t like me and he is really into his whole family liking the woman he’s with.

Oh shit, I don’t know if I let a good impression with her the other night when I came looking for Justin.

“Earth to Maddy.” Justin says, waving his hands in front of my face.

“Sorry, I’m still a little tired. It’s been a long couple of days.” I cover for myself.

“You didn’t sleep well last night?” He asks worriedly.

“I told you I did, but it doesn’t exactly make up for the past few sleepless nights… Where’d they go?”

He laughs, “You were out of it weren’t you.” He shakes his head, “They went out back to eat.”

“I’m sorry, my mind isn’t exactly in it’s place just yet.” I say with a sigh, “I think I need to rent a car while I’m here. I hate the whole cab thing and I can’t walk to Malibu from here.”

“What’s in Malibu?” He asks, piling the food on his plate.

“My brother.” I whisper, biting my lower lip.

“I’m sorry, I forgot.”

I shake my head, forcing a smile, “It’s ok… Hey do you ahh…You know what never mind. You said they went out back?” I say forking a couple of pancakes on my plate, walking towards the back door.

“Maddy…” He says sternly.

I stop, turning slowly back towards him, “Are they not out back?”

“Finish what you were going to ask.” He says, walking over towards me.

I sigh, “I… I don’t know it was stupid and you probably don’t want to anyways so no biggie.” I say, waving him off.

“What don’t I want to do?” He pushes further.

I shrug, “Visit my brother?”

He smiles, “You want me to meet your brother?”

I shrug, “It was a dumb idea, I’m sorry I even brought it up.” I say, placing the plate back on the table.

“I’d love to meet your brother, Madison.” He says lightly.

I look up at him a little shocked, “Really?”

He nods, slowly, “If you still want me too.”

I grin, “I’d really like that.”

“Go get dressed and I’ll let you pick what car we take.” He says winking at me, “No rentals, I have too many vehicles here as it is.”

“Thank you.” I whisper, kissing his cheek.

“Go get dressed.” He says, smacking me lightly on my ass.

“Well, now I know where Trace gets it from.” I joke, grinning up at him.

“Alright, I’ve heard enough about Trace and your ass to last me a lifetime. Go get dressed and I’ll meet you down here in a half hour.”

I just laugh, walking out of the room.

Just as he said, we left a half hour later. The ride has been pretty quiet and I’m grateful to that. I’m not very talkative when I’m on my way to go see Matty. He was my everything and I need all the energy I can get to sit there and talk to him.

“It’s right over there. We can stop here.” I whisper, taking a deep breath.

Justin turned off the car and we both just sat there for a second staring at the grave stones.

“Do you want to go alone first or…” Justin asks, breaking the silence.

I shake my head, a tear making it’s way down my cheek already, “No.”

We step out of the car and I lead the way over to Matty. I stop in front of the stone and just stare. The flowers I left yesterday are still there, blowing in the light breeze. There’s still a little dirt on the front of the stone making it a little hard to read, but I know what it says.

Yeah, my parents wouldn’t even let them put son on the stone.

Makes you feel all warm and toasty will all that love doesn’t it?

I crouch down in front of the stone lazily dusting the dirt off. My chin quivers and the tears start flowing down my cheeks. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry, but there wasn’t a snowballs chance in hell that was going to happen.

“I miss you Matty.” I whisper through my sobs.

I feel Justin wrap his arms around my waist from behind me and he gently kisses my shoulder.

I take a few deep breaths before wiping my face on my sleeve.

“Hey… I want you to meet someone.” I sniff a few times, wiping at my face with my sleeve again, “This is Justin. We met at the beach house, you remember the beach house right?” I laugh, “Like you could forget.”

I turn towards Justin, “The beach house was the only house of my parents that Matty was allowed in. Actually he wasn’t ever really allowed there, but I’d sneak him in anyways.” I smile at the memories, “There was this one time, god I must have been twenty two at the time. I had just broken up with my boyfriend that I was convinced I’d spend the rest of my life with,” I say, rolling my eyes, “I went out to the beach house like I always did to regroup only this time, my parents decided they needed to be there with me.”

Justin took a seat on the grass across from me, swiping the grass off his knees. He smiles at me, encouraging me to continue my story.

“Matty was in Iraq. It was his first tour over there and I was so scared that I’d never see him again, that and losing the love of my life all at the same time. It was very traumatic.”

He laughs, “I’m sure it was.”

I chuckle, pulling at my sleeves, “So most of the week I locked myself in my room.”

“My room?” he asks, grinning.

I shake my head, “It was mine a lot longer than it was yours.” he just laughs.

“Anyways, I had been locked in my room for almost the whole week so I decided to go to my spot on the rocks. I snuck out the window and ran. I couldn’t take my parents meddling. When I got out there I saw someone sitting on the edge of the rocks where I normally sit. I almost turned around and left, but I figured the rocks were big enough for the both of us so I climbed up and took a seat on the other end of the rocks.”

I wipe my face with my sleeve again, smiling, “Before I knew it I was four feet in the air being spun around.” I chuckle a little, “It was Matty. He knew I would eventually go out to the rocks and he had waited there for me for two days.”

“He slept on the rocks?” Justin asks, with a raised eyebrow.

I laugh, “No, he slept in his car. He spent the day on the rocks.” I shake my head at him. “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to see someone more in my life. Matty was like that. He always knew when I needed him and he was always there… Always.” I say, my bottom lip starting to tremble.

I sniff, “I know it sounds crazy, but it was like he could feel my pain and he knew he needed to be there for me… It was the same for me too. I could always feel when he needed me and if I could, I was there for him. It‘s that clichéd twin bond thing.”

I glance over at his stone and sigh, “The day he got hurt I was at the bar I was working at, at the time. It was like someone stuck a knife in my stomach. I dropped a tray of drinks on the floor and dropped to my knees. The pain in my stomach was unbearable and I had no idea what was going on. My best friend Hadley came by and took me home. She woke me up a few hours later to let me know… Matty’s plane had been shot down.” The tears started streaming down my face again.

Justin leans forward pulling me into his chest for a hug. I rest my head against his chest and just cry. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Every thought that went through my head, everything that happened around me, I can’t forget anything about that day. It’s driving me insane. I just wish I could get one more second with him. I wish I could see his smile just one more time.

“I miss him so much.” I sob in to his chest.

“I know baby, I know.” He whispers, rubbing his hands up and down my back.

The trip out to meet my brother went just as I thought it would.

I cried, I laughed, I cried, I smiled and I cried some more. Justin was really great the whole time. He never once looked uncomfortable or like he wished he was somewhere else. That in itself meant the world to me. Most men would have bailed, but he stuck there with me for hours. Hell, I had to convince him to leave.

The ride home wasn’t half as quiet at the ride there was. He kept me talking, asking all about the crazy things me and Matty would do growing up. I told him all of my favorite memories of when we were younger and I haven’t stopped smiling since we left the cemetery.

“So, needless to say, the two of you were grounded a lot?”

I laugh, “Actually, no. We had the O’Day charm.”

“The O’Day charm?” he asks, laughing.

I laugh with him, “All we had to do was smile and bat our eyelashes at the cop or ‘city official’ and they’d let us go with a warning.”

“Smile and bat your eyelashes huh? So I should look out for that?” he asks, grinning.

“I’d be on the look out.” I say as he turns into the driveway. We wait as the garage door opens and he sighs.

“What?” I ask, “Today wasn’t as exciting as every other day of your life?”

His head jerks towards me, “Maddy, I loved being there with you today.”

“It was a joke Justin.” I say, the smile falling off my face rather quickly.

“I loved every second of today. I just…” He sighs, “I can’t imagine going through what you’ve been through. I don’t know how your as sane as you are.”

“I lost my brother, my life didn’t stop because of it. I thought it had, but it get’s better day by day.” I shrug, taking a deep breath.

“It’s not just that. It’s your parents too. I don’t know how you deal with them and their…” He pauses, obviously trying to find the right word.

“Bullshit?” I suggest.

He nods, “Bullshit works. I… I don’t know. I guess it’s so foreign to me because my mom and I are so close. I can’t imagine not having her just a phone call away. I can’t tell you how many times I call her, asking for advice or just to bring myself down to earth. She’s my rock.” He frowns, “You don’t have a rock.” he shakes his head, “How do you deal?”

“I have Hadley. She’s amazing, you’d love her. She’s spunky and always knows exactly what to say. She’s my rock I guess.” I shrug, “I still have Matty too. I talk through any problems I have with him.” I chuckle, “He doesn’t answer, so don’t give me that ‘you’re a crazy ass’ look.”

He laughs, “Hey, I didn’t say anything.”

“I saw the look.”

He gasps, “What look?” He asks, innocently, driving into the garage and turning the car off.

“You were giving me a look that just plainly said, you think I’m insane.”

He laughs, “I do not think your insane.” He leans over the center console with a grin, placing a kiss on my forehead “I do think you’re incredibly gorgeous right now though.”

“I’m sure I am. Red puffy eyes, mascara streaked cheeks, what more could you ask for?”

“You forgot red, chapped nose from all that rubbing earlier.” He says, and I smack his shoulder.

I cover my nose with my hands and growl at him.

He laughs, “I was joking,” He pulls my hands from my face. He smiles, running his thumb softly back and forth over my cheek.

“Thank you.” He says, quietly.

“For what?”

“Letting me be there with you today.” He smiles, “I know how close you were… are with your brother and the fact that you wanted me to meet him means a lot to me.”

I sigh, “You’re the first.”

He looks at me, wrinkling his forehead in confusion, “The first what?”

“To come with me to his grave.” I pause, noting the shock registering on his face, “Not even Hadley has gone to his grave with me. I normally like to go alone because I become a blabbering mess when I’m there and I don’t normally like people seeing me that way.”

“I’m… honored.”

“You should be.” I joke, grinning at him.

He smiles, “c’mere smartass.”

He leans forward over the console again, pulling my head towards him for a kiss. He tangles his fingers in my hair pulling me closer, if that was even possible, deepening the kiss.

Apparently we have some pent up sexual tension, because the next thing I know I’m straddling him in the drivers seat, topless, grinding my throbbing pussy up and down his straining erection.

His fingers are engraved in my ass, pulling me harder into him. I moan, tilting my head back as he latches his mouth to my neck before making a trail of wet kisses over my collarbone and down the valley between my breasts.

My fingers massage the back of his neck, keeping his mouth on me as long as possible. I feel his hand slowly travel up my ribs before he pulls down the top of my pink lace bra, latching his lips to my nipple.

“Oh god.” I moan.

His fingers expertly unlatch the back of my bra, tossing it in a pile along with his shirt and my previously discarded shirt.

His mouth finds mine again and he pulls me flush against him, skin to skin.

That’s when reality set in.

“Justin, we’re in your garage.” I breathe out, trying to catch my breath.

He looks around like he was surprised at my statement, “Shit. I guess we got kind of carried away huh?” he says, running his hands up and down my back.

I chuckle, “Kinda.”

He kisses me again, a lot shorter this time before grinning, “As much as I’d love to have sex with you in my car, even in my garage… I think we should get dressed and go inside.”

I just stared at him, my brain trying desperately to figure out a way to keep him here, kissing and touching me for the next few hours.

“We do have those rules to abide by, too.”

“Right,” I nod my head slowly, “the rules.”

He leans forward kissing my shoulder, “Who’s idea was it to make these rules anyway?”

“Yours… Mine…” My eyes flutter shut as he kisses my neck again, “What rules?”

He chuckles against my neck, “That’s what I’ve been thinking.” he pulls back, looking me in the eyes, “I have to say, the car isn’t my first choice for this though.”

“Mmm…” I hate it when he’s right.

“Put your shirt on darlin’.” He says, passing me my shirt and bra.

I climb back into my seat, redressing as he did the same, unfortunately. I swear I could look at this man naked all the time.

“So are we done with the rules or are they still being enforced.”

I sigh, turning towards him, “No more rules.”

He nods, grinning like a five year old on Christmas morning, “Let’s go inside.”

************************************************************************

“So what did you two crazy cats do this lovely day?” Trace asks, scooping at least three helpings of mashed potatoes on his plate.

“You’re a pig. You know that right?” I ask, wondering where the hell he puts all that food. Well, he does have a little belly on him, but I’m thinking that’s more beer than anything else.

“God I missed you today.” He jokes, scooping another helping of potatoes onto his plate.

“We went out, what did you guys do today?” Justin answers for us.

“Oh I cleaned your house, I cooked lunch for your friend, I cooked dinner for your friend and girlfriend all while rescheduling days of work and keeping your schedule from getting double booked again by your retarded moocher of a friend.”

“’m ‘ot re’ar’ed.” Trace mumbles with a mouth full of food.

“Notice he didn’t mention the mooching.” Rachel says, shaking her head.

“Ok, so what did he do to piss you off today?” Justin asks, laughing.

“Nuffing.” Trace says, again with a mouth full of food.

“Nothing? You call me having to reschedule more than three days worth of appearances and studio time because you can’t figure out that July is the seventh month of the year and not the eighth.”

I can’t help but laugh at that, “Did you finish high school or did you just drop out when your friend became famous?” I joke with him and he flips me off.

“Hey, I’d be nice. I know your dirty secrets and I’m pretty sure Justin and Rachel have your Momma’s phone number.” I grin when his eyes grow wide, “You know how much I love story time.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.” I say, testing him.

Justin and Rachel both laugh when Trace bows his head and stays quiet.

“You didn’t have to clean the house Rach.” Justin says after a few minutes of silence.

She shrugs, “I didn’t do the whole house, just the rooms I use.”

“So the kitchen, bathroom and pool house are spotless right?” he says, winking at her.

“You know it.” She smiles at him, shaking her head, “So where’d you guys go?”

“Malibu.” Justin answers, avoiding telling them where we really were.

“What’s in Malibu besides Barbie?” Rachel asks, taking a sip from her glass.

“My brother.” I answer.

“Oh wow, your brother lives in Malibu? Was he easy on Justin? I know how crazy brother’s can be with new men in a girls life. Justin acts like he’s my brother every time I hook up with a new guy.”

I see Justin close his eyes, shaking his head, trying to let her know to stop, but she just kept going.

“Your quiet so I’m assuming your brother didn’t like Justin? Eesh, sorry J. Better luck next time.”

“Shut up Rachel.” Trace says, wide eyed.

“What? I’m just joking with him. I’m sure her brother loved him.”

“Shut up Rachel.” Trace says again through gritted teeth.

“What?” She asks again, looking around the table at all of us.

I clear my throat, taking a deep breath, “My brother died two years a go yesterday.”

The look on her face was enough to make me want to cry all over again. I could see the shock and pain in her eyes and it was the same look I got from everyone when I told them that Matty had died.

“I’m… Oh god, I…” She stammers.

I shake my head, “It’s fine you didn’t know.”

“I’m so sorry, if I would have known… God, I’m such an ass.” She mumbles.

“At least we agree on something today.” Trace says, trying to lighten the mood.

Rachel punches his shoulder growling at him, “You’re a dick.”

“Enough guys.” Justin says sternly.

“I’m sorry, Madison. I had no idea.”

I smile weakly at her, “It’s ok. You didn’t know.”

The table was quiet for a few minutes, but I could see the wheels burning in her head and I knew she wanted to ask how it happened. I figure now would be a hell of a lot better than later to answer her questions.

“You can ask.” I say, looking over at her.

“Are you sure?” She asks, and I chuckle, nodding.

“How’d it happen? How old was he?”

“He was 26 when he died. He was on his way home from Iraq for our 27th birthday, when his plane was shot down.” She gasps, “He actually survived the crash, but later died in the hospital.”

“So you two were…” She trails off.

I nod, “Twins.”

“Did you look alike?”

“Very much so.” Justin answers, running a hand up and down my leg for support.

“Wow, I’m sor…”

“Don’t be sorry. Everyone seems to be sorry, but sorry wont bring him back.” I say, forcing myself not to cry until I made it out of the room.

I don’t normally act the way I did at dinner tonight, but I’m tired of people telling me their sorry.

Sorry can’t take the pain away.

Sorry can’t bring him back to me.

Sorry wont fill the void in my heart.

I handled it wrong and I’ll be the first to admit that, but I couldn’t sit there at the table balling my eyes out.

Everything hit me all over again and I couldn’t handle another person telling me they were sorry. I understand why people say it, but if I hear it one time I might explode.

I know I’m overreacting to a simple phrase, but I can’t deal with it right now. I don’t want to deal with it right now. He was my brother, my other half and he’s gone. Never coming back.

I’ll never see him smile again, I’ll never hear his laugh. I’ll never have that special bond again with anyone. I know people say ‘things will get better in time’ but it’s been two years and I’m feeling like it was just yesterday. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over his death, but I do need to move on and I haven’t been able to.

Taking it out on Rachel or anyone else isn’t going to help me move on either.

I’m going to have to apologize to Rachel later, but right now I just need to be alone.

Apparently Justin didn’t get that memo though.

“You ok?” He asks, quietly, taking a seat next to me on the bed.

I turn my head that was previously stuffed into a pillow, towards him, “I’m sorry.” I say, tears streaming down my face.

He frowns, lying down beside me, pulling me into his chest letting me sob myself to sleep.

************************************************************************

I wish there was something I could do to take the pain away from her.

I’ve been staring at her beautiful sleeping form for the last two hours and even in sleep she’s crying. She doesn’t have the physical tears falling down her face anymore, but the look on her face and her body language tells me she’s not sleeping peacefully.

I keep running my hands through her hair trying to silently calm her, but I know it’s not working and I know it wont take any of her pain away.

I keep trying to think about what she’s been through, but I can’t even fathom any of it.

Your parents not giving a rats ass about you and completely disregarding your twin brother. They barely know her. Shit, from the conversation I had with her mother, I know more about her than they do.

Then she loses her brother. Her twin brother at that. I don’t know how she’s even able to get out of bed in the morning. She’s obviously a stronger person than I’ll ever be.

I’d be no where without my family. I’m nothing without them.

How does she do it and with a smile on her face.

I’ve been thinking of ways to get her away from everything and just live in the moment. I don’t want her to forget about everything, I’m sure that will never happen, but I think right now she really needs to just relax and forget for a few days.

I have a little surprise for her, and I’m pretty impressed with myself about it too.

“You’re going to tangle my hair if you keep doing that.” She mumbles, her eyes still closed.

My hand freezes in her hair and I chuckle. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” I say, pulling my fingers free, smoothing out the knots.

She sighs, “I need to apologize to Rachel.” She says, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes.

I shake my head at her, “No you don’t. She understands.”

“I still shouldn’t have just walked off like that. She spent all that time cooking and I just up and leave in the middle of dinner because I…”

“Because you got upset.” He interrupts me, “Completely understandable considering the things you’ve been through. Believe me, she doesn’t expect an apology. If anything, she’s going to apologize to you.”

“There’s nothing for her to apologize for.”

I tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear, letting my fingers linger on her jaw line.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” She lies.

“You’re a horrible liar, remember?”

“I just miss him.” She sobs, “It’s been two years and it still feels like it was yesterday.”

My heart is breaking for her. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through.

“How would you like to go away for a little while?” I blurt out.

“Go away?” She asks, her head still stuffed against my chest.

“Yeah… Ever been to Tennessee?”

“Can’t say that I have.” She says, pulling back to look up at me, her head still pressed against my pillow.

“It’s beautiful this time of year.”

She smiles up at me, “I take it you either had a really good concert there or you lived there once.”

“I grew up there.”

“So, you take me to Tennessee and then what?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“So does mama Timberlake still live in Tennessee?”

I nod slowly, “But it’s Mama Harless.”

She chuckles, “Good to know. That could’ve been awkward.”

I laugh, “She may have strangled you if you’d called her that.”

She laughs, “I take it she doesn’t care for the Timberlake name?”

“Only when it’s attached to my name. She’s thinks of my dad as a sperm donor and that is as good as they get.”

“So on this secretive little trip out to Tennessee, were you planning on me meeting your mama?” She asks, panic showing in her eyes.

“I was, but if you don’t want to I’m sure I could find another place to bring you.”

“No.” She says loudly, “No, I was just trying to prepare myself . That’s pretty big.”

“She’s not that scary and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t bite.” I joke.

“I’m not so much afraid of the biting…” She bites her lower lip, trailing off.

I grin, “Your nervous she wont like you?”

She shrugs her shoulder, “I don’t really know how to act around parents. Mine weren’t ever really… involved in my life so.” She sighs, “The only parents I’ve been around is Hadley’s and her mom is a gypsy and her dad is the biggest hippie I’ve ever met. They are ‘free spirited’ and don’t really care much about how you act.”

“My mom will love you.”

She rolls her eyes at me, “Yeah, I’m not nervous at all now.”

“I’m serious. If she’s put up with Trace for the last twenty-odd years, you’ll be a breath of fresh air for her.”

“Has she ever hated any of your girlfriends before?” She asks cautiously.

“No, but she’s only met two of them. I don’t bring just anyone home to meet my momma.” he says with a smirk, “Did you just call yourself my ‘girlfriend’?”

Her eyebrows arch upward in shock, “Did I?”

I laugh, “I think you did.”

She looks at me confused, “Aren’t I? Am I not?” she pauses in thought, “We haven’t really talked about that before have we. I guess I just assumed…”

I tilt her head back up towards mine, “I was teasing you.”

“Oh…”

“Maddy, I care about you a lot. Honestly for the first time in my life I actually feel…” What’s the right word, “Complete.”

Ok, try not to completely freak her out, “I don’t know how to explain this without scaring you or confusing the shit out of you, but.” I pause with a sigh, “For the longest time I’ve felt like something’s been missing from my life. When I was at the beach house with you, I thought it was my obsession with Cloie look-a-likes, but I think it’s deeper than that. I think more than anything I was trying to fill a void.” I scratch my chin, thinking of a good way to put this, “Maddy, the minute I met you, I knew I had to have you in my life.” I laugh, “For the first time, a woman wasn’t falling at my feet and it made me realize what a jerk I’d been.”

“I guess you popped my ego bubble and I actually got to see my life more clearly. I realized that I never really loved Cloie like I thought I did. I realized I didn’t really love any of the girls I’ve been with.”

This is the part she may freak out about, breathe big guy, breathe, “I didn’t realize what love felt like until I left you at that beach house. The whole plane ride home you were all I could think about. I have an entire journal of songs and ideas for songs I’ve written about you. I couldn’t get you out of my head and that’s never happened to me before.”

I grab her hand, intertwining our fingers together, “I’ve had girlfriends. I’ve had long term girlfriends. Hell, I’ve been engaged. All those relationships didn’t mean half of what I thought they did. I was gone for months at a time and I was perfectly fine with being away from them. I didn’t care enough to call every night, I didn’t even really care if they thought about me while I was away.”

“With you… With you it’s insanely different for me. I can’t go an hour without thinking about you.” I chuckle to myself, “I’m actually surprised Rachel or Trace hadn’t put me in an asylum during the last three months. If I wasn’t talking about you I was writing about you. If I wasn’t writing I was certainly thinking about you.”

She looks like she’s about to cry again, but I’m pretty sure it’s a good cry this time around, “Maddy, what this very long and drawn out one sided conversation has been about…” I take a deep breath, squeezing her hand in mine, “I’m in love with you. I think I have been since I saw you walking towards me that day on the beach.”

I hear her mumble something under her breath, but I just talk over her, trying to make this conversation less awkward, “I know it’s soon and we don’t really know all that much about each other, but I just thought you should know.” I let her hands go, scratching the top of my head nervously, “I’m sorry if I made things awkward between us, but I couldn’t not tell you any longer.”

“Did you not hear me or are you just ignoring me?” She quietly asks, tears slowly trickling down her face.

I reach up, swiping them away with a sigh, “Hear what?”

“I said, I do too.”

I rack my brain trying to think of what she could possibly be talking about, but I come up short, “What do you too?”

A slow smile forms on her face, “Love you.”

Well, I’ll be damned.

“Yeah?” I ask, purely for my own sanity. That and I really want to hear her say it again.

“Yeah.” She grins.

“So I didn’t lose you during all that?”

She laughs, “A little bit in the middle, but you pulled me back in at the end.”

I laugh, cupping her face in my hands, “I love you Madison.”

“I love hearing you say that.” She says, grinning. I lean forward kissing the grin off her face.

“I love you too.” She murmurs against my lips.

I pull back, leaning my forehead against hers, “I love hearing you say that.”

Day one of project Tennessee has gone off without a hitch.

I took a few days in LA to finish up with Ciara, then we were off. Maddy was in awe at the Jet, and of course Trace had to push her buttons about it, but she took it well and laughed it off.

Well, laughed then threatened to tell his mother the sordid tale of his adventures in a gay bar.

He shut up real fast.

As expected, my mother loved Maddy. She literally has not stopped talking about her. Every time I round a corner, she catches me and begs me not to fuck this one up.

Apparently I haven’t been very good at keeping girls around. I thought I was doing alright, but from what my mother tells me, I’m not a cool as I think I am. Leave it to my mom to tell me like it is.

Madison seems to be having a lot of fun, too. I took her around to all my favorite spots and I haven’t seen her stop smiling since she got here. I think my impromptu trip is actually working.

Damn I’m good.

“Hey you.” Maddy says, taking a seat next to me on the piano bench.

I lean towards her, kissing her, “Hey yourself.”

“Where’d you run off to? You left me with your dumbass friend and his dumbass friend.”

I laugh, “I wouldn’t call Shawn one of Trace’s friends.”

She looks at me confused, “They seem to be friendly towards each other.”

“Shawn’s gay.”

She bursts out laughing, “Oh god, no wonder he liked my shoes.” She laughs a little harder, wiggling her shoes around “You think I’d seen it when he commented on how well my outfit went together.”

I laugh, “He’s been a lot of help with the line for us.”

“I’m sure he has, he’s got taste, something I’m sure you were trying to make up for with Trace.”

I laugh, “Are you two ever going to get along?”

She shrugs, “Sure, when he stops acting like a douche bag.”

I just shake my head, “You do have to get used to him though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Hopefully because you’ll be living under the same roof.”

Her eyes grow wide, “Justin,” She sighs, “Justin I live in Miami.”

Wasn’t expecting that.

“So, you’re going back?” I ask cautiously.

“All my stuff’s there.”

“So bring it here. Or LA, whatever.” I shake my head, trying not to get angry.

“I can’t just move in with you.” She says, panic written all over her face.

“Why’s that?” I laugh to myself, “Hell that’s all we’ve done.”

“I get that, but we haven’t even known each other all that long and,” She groans, “Don’t get me wrong I would love to just move in with you, but Justin isn’t that a big step?”

“And meeting my mom isn’t?” I ask with a chuckle.

She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, “You’re right,” She opens her eyes, looking up at me, “Meeting your mom is probably a lot bigger than living together, but.”

“Don’t but…” I interject, groaning.

“We haven’t even,” She lowers her voice to just above a whisper, “Slept together.”

“We can change that anytime you like.” I say with a chuckle.

“I’m trying to be serious here.” She says with a smile.

“Then let’s go get serious upstairs.” I say, wiggling my eyebrows at her.

“Justin, please…”

“Ok, fine we’ll talk about this. I love you and I want to see you as often as I possibly can and from what I’ve seen, living together is the best option for that. If you would rather not, then I definitely want you at least on the same side of the country.”

Her smile fades, nodding her head “I at least want my own apartment,” she shrugs, “Just in case I want… me time.”

“I’m sure I could find you a nice condo in the area.” I suggest, thinking it would be a hell of a lot easier to get a condo in the same area.

“I’m living off what my brother left me and the money my grandparents left me when they passed. I don’t really know if I can afford a condo in your area.”

I laugh, “Don’t worry about it.”

She shakes her head, “No, I will worry about it. If it’s mine then I want to pay for it.”

“You’re not big on gifts are you?” I asks, diddling with the piano keys, trying to keep this conversation a little less awkward.

She takes a deep breath, “I could always move in with Hadley for a little while. She’s right in Malibu, so it’s not so far away.”

My fingers pause on the keys and I sigh, “Maddy I want you with me. I can’t chance losing you again. I don’t care if it’s across the country or and hour away, I don’t want it.” I turn to look at her, to plead to her, “Please, Maddy. If you want your own room where you can lock yourself away from me when ever you want, that’s fine. Hell, I’ll give you the left wing of the house, but I really want you there so I can see your beautiful face every morning. I want to be able to kiss you goodnight every night. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I want this to work between us. I want everything to just go as planned.”

“And how is everything planned?” She ask, biting her bottom lip.

“For me? The plan is to have you around every second of everyday. I want us to talk about everything, I want to see all your little quirks and I want you to see mine.” I reach up, running my finger along her jaw line, “I want,” I shake my head, “you know what? I want whatever makes you happy and if living with Hadley, which I still would like to meet, would make you happy then I’m ok with that.”

She smiles, “Or, I can just stay with her on occasion so we can have ‘friend’ time.” she shrugs, “I don’t know, like once a week?”

“Or every other week.” I says, chuckling.

She laughs, “Ok, every other week.”

“So does that mean you will?”

She slowly nods, “I guess it does.”

I let the breath I wasn’t aware I was holding whoosh out, “Woman you had me going there pretty good.”

She giggles as I start to play with the piano keys again, “Are we going to your mom’s tonight for dinner or are you being secret agent Timberlake again?”

“I thought we could stay here tonight, if that’s alright with you.”

She nods slowly with a smile, “That’s fine with me.” She watches me play for a minute, “What is that?”

“It’s one of the songs I wrote.”

“Can I hear it?”

I take a deep breath, nodding slowly. I glide my fingers along the keys, scrounging up some courage to do this. This was one of my favorite songs I wrote for her, but I never actually thought I’d be playing it for her.

“It’s better with a guitar, but I wrote it on a piano.” I explain nervously, taking a deep breath.

My fingers slowly start to move and I started singing,

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know where to
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It’s just you and me

I’m trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know where to
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
I think I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

My fingers come to a stop and I take a deep breath before slowly turning my head towards her.

“That was,” she pauses, wiping a stray tear quickly from her cheek, “That was beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I sigh, “It was one of the first songs I wrote about you.”

She leans forward, placing her hands on my cheeks, kissing me, “Thank you.” she whispers against my lips.

“Thank you. You’ve been a really good inspiration for me.”

Her lips gently touch mine and for the first time I can actually feel how much she loves me and I know she can feel how much I love her. It’s about time I show her just how much I really do love her.

My hand sneaks around her waist, pulling her gently onto my lap. She straddles my waist, wrapping her legs around me as I lift her. She wraps her arms around my neck, never breaking our kiss.

We make our way down the hallway blindly, occasionally bumping into things. I get us to the bedroom, luckily without serious injuries. Laying her gently on the bed, I break the kiss long enough for a few short breaths before devouring her mouth with mine.

“I love you, Maddy.”

She smiles brightly up at me, “I love you.”

I run a finger along her chin nervously, “Let me show you.”

She rests her hand on top of mine on her cheek, whispering, “Ok.”

It’s happening.

It’s finally happening.

My body feels numb, but with each kiss, he’s slowly bringing me back to my senses. We both lost our clothes a while ago, but we’ve just been exploring each other as slowly as we can stand it.

His scent is clouding my senses and his body pressing up against me is causing that quiver in my stomach to spread like wildfire.

He’s taking his sweet time, tasting and sucking at my lips and neck causing all the hair on my body to stand up straight.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take before I explode with pleasure and he’s barely touched me yet.

His kisses slowly made their way down my neck and over my shoulders stopping at the hills of my breasts. He pulls back a second to stare before attacking, his mouth attaching to one side and his hand taking care of the other.

At that point everything flew out of my head. I forgot about anything and everything and could only concentrate on what he was doing to my body. His hands and mouth taking over my body sent me trembling, wanting more and more of him.

After a quick switch of his hand and mouth, he slowly scooted himself down the bed trailing wet kisses along my belly as his hands embedded themselves in my hips.

His knees gently nudged my legs further apart and my eyes immediately slammed shut with anticipation. His mouth and hands left my body and I groaned inwardly at the loss. After a minute of silence I open my eyes to see him staring at me with pure love and want in his eyes.

He smiled down at me before lifting my right leg up to his shoulder, gently kissing my ankle. He trailed short, wet kisses up my leg moving agonizingly slow towards his destination.

When he got there, I watched him down my body just stare, breathing me in. His hands slowly slid up my inner thighs as he took his first taste. His hands squeezed my outer thighs with a moan before he feasted on me.

My head dropped back against the pillows, my eyes closing tightly and a small moan of gratitude came floating out of my mouth. His tongue and mouth worked some serious magic on my body until I couldn’t even think anymore, until time stopped and nothing existed except him and what he was doing to me.

He brought me to the point of ecstasy, but stopped before I fell over the edge and slowly started over and over again until I couldn’t even breathe. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t do anything, but lie there and let him take my body on an ecstasy roller coaster.

After what felt like hours and numerous close calls he finally took me over the edge and sent me shattering into tiny pieces.

When I came back to the room after floating above myself in pure ecstasy, Justin was kissing every inch of my belly. I reached down to his head, tilting it so he was looking up at me and smiled.

He crawled up my body, kissing me along the way until he was completely covering me with his body, leaning down to devour my mouth with his. I could feel his need and want in his kiss, so I pulled back to look at him.

His breathing was labored and there was something in his eyes that just screamed at me to let him in. I lifted my legs up to his waist, pulling him towards me with the heels of my feet.

He groaned, cursing under his breath when his dick slid along my wet folds. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his jaw, taking a few deep breaths before staring down at me again.

“I love you Maddy.”

I smile, “I know. I love you too.”

His hips shifted, aligning his cock with my entrance and he slowly slid home. He laid there, buried deep inside me for a few seconds, cursing under his breath before slowly pulling out and thrusting back home.

He started out slow, but slowly increased his speed with each thrust. My head was spinning and I couldn’t think, hear, see or even smell anything but him and me right here in this moment.

His hips slowed and his fingers trailed along my cheek. He shifted his hips, causing him to rub my clit with each slow thrust. My body trembled as the first signs of my orgasm came crashing into me.

It was shortly after the beginning of my orgasm tore through me that I heard him whisper my name and I felt his muscles tighten. He came with a grunt causing another toe curling orgasm to flow through me like a river.

He leaned down kissing me quickly before dropping his head to my shoulder to catch his breath.

I guess that saying is true.

The best things in life are worth waiting for.

************************************************************************

“So Madison, tell me about your parents. You seem like you’ve had a lovely upbringing. What are they like?” Lynn asks, grabbing a piece of watermelon out of the bowl on the table, while we sat on her back porch.

“Mom!” Justin says quickly, shaking his head with wide eyes.

I laugh, “It’s fine.”

Lynn looks back and forth between us confused. “What did I say?”

I smile at her, “I haven’t had a real close relationship with them. They were horrible to my brother growing up and I resented them for how they treated him. I guess I lost all good contact with them when Matty died. They couldn’t even come to their own son’s funeral. My Dad wanted to, but my Mother wouldn‘t have it.” I sigh, swallowing the lump in my throat, “I grew up in a wonderful home, but there wasn’t much love there.” I add with a shrug.

“Oh, that’s terrible sweetie.” Lynn smiles, “If you ever need a motherly figure for anything, I’m always just a phone call away.”

My eyes immediately start to water and I smile, “Thank you.”

She jumps out of her chair, grabbing me against her in a bear hug, “I think you’re a beautiful, strong willed person. You have put a genuine smile back on my babies face and I can’t thank you enough for that.” She pulls back from the hug, still holding on to my shoulders, “I can’t imagine being a woman and not having my mother to talk to. I may not be your mother and I may not be your first choice, but I want you to know that I’m a good listener and I’d love for you to think of me when you need someone to talk to.” She laughs, “Even it’s just to vent about how hard headed my son can be sometimes.”

“Hey!” Justin yells in defense.

I laugh, “I appreciate that.”

“And you thought she wasn’t going to like you.” Justin says, grinning at me.

“Shit, I thought we were going through some serious turbulence on the plane, but it turned out to be MO over here shaking the plane with her shaky legs.” Trace adds with a laugh.

“That’s enough from the peanut gallery.” I say, shaking my head at them.

“So you never told me how long you three were staying out here.” Lynn says, taking a seat at the table again.

“For as long as Miss Maddy wants.” Justin answers, taking a sip of his beer.

“Why do I have make that decision? Don’t you two have work to get back to?”

“I’m finished for a little while, and Trace doesn’t really count in this equation.” Justin says, taking another sip of his beer.

“Great, leave all the work to Trace so you can have playtime with your girlfriend. Fuck, you’re one shitty friend you know that?”

“Well if that’s the case, then I guess I don’t have to keep this secret I’ve been hiding for the last ten years.” Justin says, chugging the rest of his beer and setting the bottle on the table.

Trace laughs nervously, “Nah man, you know how much I love working.”

Lynn laughs, “This secret must be huge.”

“Oh it’s definitely a big one.” I chime in with a giggle.

“That’s enough from the peanut gallery.” Trace says, mimicking me from earlier.

“Anyone up for a bonfire?” Justin asks, stretching his arms above his head.

“Yeah, I’m just going to grab a sweater from the car.” I say jumping up, walking through the house and out towards the car.

I grabbed my sweater out the back seat and shut the door as my phone rang in my pocket.

“Hello?” I answer, walking back up towards the house.

“Madison, Dear, Where have you been?” came my mothers, higher than thou voice.

“Since when do you care?” I ask, stopping on the front porch, sitting down on the stairs.

“Madison Ashley O’Day! Don’t you ever talk to me like that. I am your mother!”

“Since when?” I mumble, rolling my eyes.

“What did you just say?” She growls as politely as possible.

“Nothing. Is there something you wanted?”

“I haven’t seen you in days and I was getting worried.”

I laugh, “Cut the shit. You went years without seeing me and you never called then. What do you want?”

“I don’t appreciate your language young lady.”

“I don’t appreciate you wasting my time, but you don’t seem to care.”

“Where are you?” She demands.

“Tennessee.”

She scoffs, “Why would you be in the horrid state?”

I laugh, “What is wrong with Tennessee?”

“It’s… It’s so… Country.” She says with disgust.

“Wow. You are unbelievable.” I sigh, “What do you want Victoria?’

“Will you stop doing that! I am your mother. Treat me with respect.”

“When did you ever earn that? You treated my brother like dirt and you haven’t treated me much better over the years either. I’m sick of this. Please just tell me what you want so I can get back to what I was doing.”

“And what was it that you were doing that is so important that you can’t talk to your mother?”

“The laundry is more important than talking to you.” I mumble.

She scoffs, “I demand respect from you Madison Ashley.”

“I’m hanging up.” I say shaking my head.

“Don’t you dare or I‘ll see to it, you get taken out of our will.”

“Like either of you will ever die.” I mumble again.

She sighs, “Madison, that’s why I’m calling.” She takes a deep breath, “Your father is in the hospital.”

My heart drops, “Why?”

“He has cancer dear. He’s been battling it for years and I’m afraid he’s losing the battle.”

The breath whooshes out of my lungs and my eyes sting with tears, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked.” She states simply.

I laugh cynically, “What was I supposed to do call and say ‘hi guys, long time no talk, oh does either of you happen to have cancer that could kill you? Just checking in’?”

“I didn’t think it was anything to worry you with. Your father was doing fine for the last two years, but it looks like he took a turn for the worst a few days ago.”

“Days? He’s been in the hospital for days and your just now calling me? Wha… What is the matter with you.”

“You don’t seem to care a whole lot about us dear, I didn’t think you wanted to know.”

“Then why are you calling me? Did you find out Daddy left me all the money and your trying to get back on my good side?” I ask, shaking my head.

She stayed quiet and I gasp, “Are you kidding me? Your husband is dying and all you can think about is his money?” I growl into the phone, “Go to hell, you gold digging bitch.” I end the call and it drops from my shaking hands down the steps. I drop my head into my hands and cry.

I know they haven’t been the best parents, but out of the two of them, my father was the better of the two. He was secretively there for me when I really needed him, but to keep the peace with my mother he followed what ever she said and if that was to ignore me, then he did.

He’s a coward, but he’s still my dad.

“There you are.” Justin says, letting the screen door slam behind him.

“Maddy?” He asks, cautiously, taking a seat next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“I need to go back.” I sob into his chest.

“Back where, baby?” He asks, hugging me tighter against him.

“California.”

“Ok. I’ll have Trace call and get the jet ready.” He says, pulling out his phone to message, I’m assuming Trace. A few minutes later his phone beeps and he sighs, “It’ll be ready to go in an hour.”

I pull back, tears still falling down my face, “Thank you.”

He just nods, wiping the tears off my cheek, “You ok?”

I shake my head, “My Mo… Victoria just called.” I sniff, wiping my face with my hands, “My dad’s in the hospital.”

“Is he ok?”

I shake my head again, sobbing into his chest.

“It’ll be ok Maddy, I’ll get you there as fast as I can.”

And he did. He got the plane ready in less than an hour and we were back in California in the shortest amount of time possible. The plane and car ride were in complete silence. I couldn’t find words to say anything and I’m pretty sure Trace and Justin were too scared to ask anything. I guess I cried a lot and they didn’t want to make it any worse.

“You want me to come in with you or…” Justin asked trailing off as we walked down the hall to my father’s hospital room. Trace hung back in the waiting room, which wasn’t necessary, but he insisted on being here for me.

The ass can be sweet sometimes.

I stop, grabbing Justin’s hand, intertwining our fingers, “He’s dying.”

He got a pained expression on his face, “Oh, Maddy.”

“They weren’t going to tell me. The only reason she called was because she found out if he dies, I get all the money and she get’s nothing.”

“Jesus.”

“I’m going to need you.” I say, trying my hardest not to cry.

“I’m here, baby girl… C’mon.” he says, kissing my forehead, leading the way to my dad’s room.

Walking into my father’s hospital room brought me back to the first time Matty had come back from Iraq. He had only been there for a few months when he got a little too close to a roadside bomb. He lost two very close friends and almost lost his leg.

They brought him back to the states to do surgery. I flew out to see him and when I got there he looked horrible. I don’t remember a spot on his body that didn’t have bandages on them.

The good thing about Matty was that he was a really fast healer. He was back in action just six months later.

Standing here looking at my father, I have this sinking feeling things aren’t going to work out as well for him as it did for Matty back then.

I’ve never seen him so frail and so pale. I saw him not too long ago, but right now he looks boney and extremely sick.

I wish I would have known, maybe I could’ve done something.

Justin squeezes my hand in his and I realize we’ve been standing in the doorway just staring for a while, so I slowly walk into the room, dragging Justin behind me, stopping at the side of his bed.

I grab my father’s hand in mine and squeeze it. Tears drain out of my eyes at a rapid speed and there’s nothing I can do to stop them.

My father stirred, slowly opening his eyes looking at me in shock.

“My beautiful Madison.” he says breathlessly.

“Hi Daddy.” I say through my tears.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He says slowly, obviously having a rough time breathing.

“Of course I’d come. I would have been here two years ago if you guys would have told me.” I let out a short sob, “Why didn’t you tell me, daddy?”

“I thought you knew.” He says, confusion written all over his face.

“Of course she didn’t know, Peter. She doesn’t care about us enough to call, why would she care you were dying?” Victoria says, announcing herself to the room.

I turn towards her quickly, “Get away from my Father you bitch. You don’t deserve to be here.”

She scoffs and my father brushes my hand with his, “Maddy Girl, Don’t talk to your mother like that.”

My heart softens and I slowly turn back towards him, “Daddy she doesn’t care about you.”

“Oh stop being so dramatic. He’s my husband, of course I care about him.”

“No, you care about his money.” I growl, still looking at my dad.

“Money makes the world go round.”

“You make me sick.” I say in disgust. “You are the poorest excuse for a woman and a mother I’ve ever seen.”

“Maddy Girl.” My father whispers again.

“I’m sorry daddy, but the only reason I know about you being sick is because your wife found out your leaving all the money to me and she couldn’t have that so she called me and tried being mother of the year so I’d feel sorry for her and give it back to her.” I take a deep breath, shaking my head, “What she doesn’t get is that I’d rather give all that money to a dog and have it shit, piss and tear it to shreds before I’d give her a dime.”

“She doesn’t love you daddy. She doesn’t love me and she never loved Matty.”

“That’s not true.” Victoria says squaring her shoulders.

“What’s not true?” I ask out of curiosity.

“I loved all of you.”

“Yeah, you loved Daddy when he bought you the four houses and all the diamonds you could possibly want. And you loved me right up until I was born along with Matty and then you just despised us from then on out.”

“I loved you!” She yells.

“You have a shitty way of showing it.”

“I don’t need to take this.” She says standing to walk out of the room, but stops turning towards Justin and I.

“Who is this,” She pauses, looking at Justin’s clothing, “Poor excuse of a man?”

Oh, no you don’t.

“Excuse me?” Justin says angrily.

“You deaf or just stupid? Oh wait, you must be the one from Tennessee. It’s all making sense now.”

“What’s that…” Justin starts but I cut him off.

“I’d be nice Victoria. He’s got money too. Maybe if you’re a good girl, he’ll add you to his will.”

She laughs as though I must be joking, “This…peasant can’t possibly be rich.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I have more money than you’ll see in a lifetime.” Justin defends himself.

“Honey I’ve seen millions. My husband has given me millions. You can’t possibly…”

“Victoria, Shut up.” My father says, sitting up in bed.

“Daddy, lay down.” I say, trying to get him to lay down.

He swats me off him, sitting up straighter in the bed, “Victoria, I think it’s best you leave. I’d like to spend some time with my daughter and her friend.”

She scoffs, “I am not leaving.”

“I’m asking…” He coughs a few times before finishing, “I’m asking you to leave. You have done enough damage to this family.”

“I haven’t…”

“He asked you to leave.” Justin says sternly.

“And you are not a part of this family so you will not talk to me like that.”

“Victoria, I’ve dealt with…” He coughs, “ your shit for too many years.” He coughs again, “I will not spend my last days with a woman that I can’t stand.” He coughs a few times, “I’m dying Victoria so I will spare you the ordeal of going through a divorce, but you will not.” He coughs a few more times, “Will not, get anything of mine. Do you understand?”

“I am your wife!” She yells.

“No you are a dreadful woman that I was forced into marrying. I may have kept my promise, but I’ll be damned if I die without my family.” He coughs again, “and you are not my family. Get out.” He growls as loud as he could.

“I will not be treated…”

“He asked you to leave.” Justin growls towards her.

“Look you country piece of…”

“The man is dying and all you can think about is yourself. I don’t know if there’s even a heart in that body of yours, but I suggest you pretend there is and move on out of this room. And I suggest you stay out of this room or I’ll have you thrown out.”

“And how would you do that?” She asks, her hands on her hips.

“Security. Is there a problem here?” A very large, over muscular man asks from the doorway.

“No, she was just leaving.” I says, smiling to myself.

I don’t know how he did it, but I love him even more for it.

“We’ll walk you out ma’am.” He says, grabbing a hold of her arm.

“Get those sausages off me. I can walk myself.” She says, striding out the door and down the hallway.

“She wont be a problem anymore.” The other security officer says before shutting the door.

I stare up at Justin with a smile on my face, “How?”

He just winks at me, turning towards my father, “I’m sorry I butted into your family’s problem. I know it wasn’t my place and I’m sorry for that, but I couldn’t stand here and let her talk to you two like that.”

“No apologies needed for me son.” He says with a weak smile, “I’m Peter.”

Justin takes his hand in his to shake, “I’m Justin. It’s nice to finally meet you, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir. It makes me feel old.”

I laugh, “You are old Daddy.”

He tries to laugh, but fails miserably, “I owe you an apology, my beautiful Madison.”

I sit on the edge of his bed, raising one leg up so I could face him.

“You and your brother mean the world to me. I know I haven’t shown that,” He coughs and I start crying. Justin runs his hand up and down my back for support, “Half of my heart is missing. When Matthew died, I felt like I died with him. Your mother.”

“Don’t call her that.” I say through my tears.

He nods, coughing again, “I made a promise a long time ago to Victoria’s father. I vowed I’d keep her happy for the rest of our lives. I made some very bad decisions over the years, but,” He coughs a few times, taking a deep breath, “I never stopped loving either one of you. You two are my world. And sadly, your all that’s left of my world.”

I cry watching him fighting just to talk, “Maddy Girl, I know it’s nearly 29 years too late, but I love you and I have always been there even when you thought I wasn’t.”

He teared up, coughing, “I was there when you and Matthew graduated. I saw you cry all those times on that rock you love so much. I watched you go through heartache and I’ve seen you have some amazing times with Hadley.”

“Most importantly, I was there and I heard your incredible words to Matthew at his funeral.”

I lost it. I’m sobbing hysterically.

He was there. He actually came.

“I know how much you loved your brother, because I loved him just as much. No matter what your… Victoria has said or done, I’ve never stopped caring and I’ve tried my hardest to be there for both of you when I could.”

I sob into my hands, Justin still rubbing my back, when I hear my father coughing uncontrollably.

“Daddy?” I say, watching his cough and cough and cough.

“Daddy, what’s the matter.” I ask when he stops coughing, gasping for air.

Justin runs towards the door, yelling for a doctor as I sit there in shock.

Within seconds two doctors and a couple of nurses flock in, sweeping me away from him. The machine next to his bed stopped beeping and my knees go weak. Justin grabs me, pulling me against his chest, keeping me from falling.

“Daddy!” I sob over and over.

Then I saw the worst possible thing I could have ever imagined.

The nurse turning off all the machines around him and all of them stepping back from his bed.

“Peter’s Daughter, Madison, would like to say a few words. Madison?” The priest says, stepping to the side to let me stand at the podium.

I stare down at my father’s casket for a minute trying to find the words I know I need to get out.

“My father.” I squeak out, pausing to clear my throat.

I look out to see Justin sitting with his parents and Trace. Sitting next to Justin was Hadley. They didn’t exactly meet in the best circumstances, but they seem to like each other. The both of them were smiling up at me giving me all the support I needed to get through this.

“Growing up I was the epitome of a Daddy’s girl. I was attached to him like glue.” I laugh to myself through the tears, “I remember when I was five, he brought me to work and to this day, every time I see William, he asks if I have his stapler. Apparently I stole his off his desk and my dad found it at home in my drawer.” I smile remembering that day.

“Daddy never yelled at me. He just smiled and said William didn’t need a pink stapler on his desk anyways.”

“It was red.” I hear from in front of me.

I laugh looking out into the crowd seated in the church, “You keep telling yourself that, it was pink.”

I sigh, “Lately you could say that I didn’t exactly have a close relationship with him, but I love him.” I cry, letting the tears fall down my face.

“I know he’s made some bad decisions and I know he’s not always been the easiest man to be around, but he’s also done a lot of good in his life too. I’ve just recently found out my father has been donating money towards the families of fallen soldiers for years.” I sigh, “He was donating even before we lost Matty, which I can’t tell you how much that surprised me.”

“I may not have always shown it, but my father meant the world to me. Even through all the hard times we’ve had, I still love him more than anything.”

The tears start all over again, “He was my dad and now he’s gone. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I feel like I’ve been alone for so many years and the day I finally get my Daddy back, I lose him again.”

I take a deep breath, “My father made some sacrifices in his life that I don’t exactly understand or even like, but to me, the good out weighs the bad.”

“I just wanted to say that,” I’m starting shake, but I mentally smack myself, “My father will be missed by many people, and I’m sad to see him go, but at least he’s no longer suffering.”

My hand goes to my mouth, stifling a cry, “I wish I could have been there for him over the past two years. I wish there was something that could have been done, but I know I can’t change the past, but I’m certainly going to work on the future.”

“I know my father would be proud of me and that’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life.” The shaking starts again, but this time I can’t stop it.

“I’m going to miss you Daddy.” I sob.

Hadley and Justin run up to help me back down to my seat. They both comfort me in there own way, Justin letting me lean against him to cry, rubbing my back for me. Hadley is holding my hands in hers, leaning her head on my shoulder.

“We have one more speaker. Victoria.” The priest says and my shaking becomes uncontrollable.

“What!” Hadley yells, jumping up out of her seat, “Oh hell no! I know this is a church and all, but you better get that bitch out of here.”

“Ma’am, if you’d please take your seat. She was his wife, she has a right to speak.” The priest says to Hadley.

“I can’t sit here and listen to anything she has to say.” I whisper, turning to look at Justin, “Get me out of here please.”

He nods, standing to lead me out of the church. We all get to the car, but I stop when I hear commotion at the church entrance.

“What’s going on?” Trace asks the question we were all thinking.

Everyone was filing out of the church at the same time, finding there way to their vehicles.

My father’s good friend and co-worker William walks over to us and grabs me for a hug.

“Your father has always been proud of you.” He whispered to me.

“Thank you.” I cry, “But what’s going on? Why is everyone leaving?”

“Anyone that knows your father, knows he couldn’t stand that woman.” He smiles, “No one cares what she has to say.”

I smile, “It was nice seeing you again William.”

“Will you cut that out. No one calls me William.”

“I know, that’s why I do.”

He turns towards Justin with a smile, “I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Bill.”

I shake my head, “I’m sorry. This is Justin. Those are his parents Lynn and Paul,” I introduce them, “and that’s his unbelievably annoying friend Trace and you know Hadley.”

He nods, “Nice to meet you all.”

They all smile back at him.

“I bet Peter loved that his daughter is dating a man that was actually good enough for her.” he laughs, “You haven’t exactly done very well in the dating game, but I think you’ve got yourself a good one here.” He turns towards Justin, “My daughter is a nurse, she told me what you did in the hospital. It’s about damn time someone stood up for miss Madison here.” He runs his hand up and down my back, “Don’t screw this one up.”

I laugh, “Thanks William.”

“Bill, child.”

“I’m almost 29. I’m no longer a child.”

“I’m 64, you’re a child.” He says, laughing.

************************************************************************

It’s been two months, four days and sixteen hours to the dot since my father died and I’m sick with myself that I’m ok.

I’m still not over Matty and I’m over my father’s passing?

Does that make me horrible?

Don’t get me wrong I miss him and I meant every word I said about loving him, but I’m not still dwelling on it like I still am with Matty.

What does that mean?

Will I ever get over Matty’s death?

Because he was my twin does that mean I’m going to be dwelling on this for the rest of my life?

“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?” Justin asks, running his fingers up and down my back lightly. I rest my head on his chest, drawing pictures with my fingers on his naked chest.

“Just thinking.”

“Thinking about how much you love waking up naked with me?” He jokes.

I laugh, “As much as I do love that, no, that’s not what I’m thinking about.”

He tilts my head up so he can look at me, “What’s the matter?”

I sigh, “Does it make me horrible to say that I’m past my father’s death, but not Matty’s?”

“No, Matty was your twin. You two are connected in a lot of ways.”

“But he was my dad.”

“That you didn’t have a relationship with.”

I sigh, “So I’m not horrible?”

“No, but you are incredibly sexy when your upset.” He says grinning evilly at me.

“Am I now?”

“mmhmm.” He says before pulling me up for a kiss.

I slide my leg over his waist, straddling him. He groans deep in his throat when my wet pussy slides along his erection.

“I think you lied about thinking about us lying here naked together.” He says, grinning.

“I didn’t have to think about it, I could feel you hard as a rock for the last ten minutes.” I say, sliding myself along his cock again. “I hope it was for me.”

He grabs my hips, sliding me up and down along his cock making sure he rubs my clit in just the right spot.

“Baby, no one gets me as hot as you do.”

“Better not.” I say breathlessly. I’m about to orgasm and I don’t even remember how I got here.

He moans, “You’re almost there aren’t you baby?”

All I can do is nod and try to breath.

My body trembles with the force of my orgasm flowing through my body. He shifts his hips pressing himself into my in one swift movement. My orgasm hadn’t even ended and I can already feel another one coming on.

Sex with this man couldn’t possible get any better. I have never felt this way with anyone and I’ve had some amazing partners in the past.

Wow, that makes me sound like a whore doesn’t it.

I hope he doesn’t think I’m a whore.

“Wow, where’d you run off to?” He asks, slowing down his thrusts.

“Do you think I’m a whore?”

He stops completely looking up at me like I have three heads, “Do I what?”

“Think I’m a whore.”

“Your seriously asking me this right now?” He asks, thrusting his hips up into me for good measure.

I moan, “Scratch that, you can answer me later. Proceed.”

He sighs, “Maddy look at me.”

I look down into his eyes as he leans up to kiss me, “I don’t and never have even remotely thought you were anything even resembling a whore. Why would you think that?” He asks, lifting me up off him, then pulling me back down onto him fast and hard.

“Uh… Jesus, Justin… It doesn’t matter.”

He starts thrusting faster and another orgasm bubbles in my stomach. I’m panting, trying desperately to remember how to breath as he thrusts in and out of me a lightning speed. A sound that most resembles an animal came flying out of my mouth with the force of my orgasm. He grunts rather loudly, my name sliding out his mouth at his release.

I drop down on top of him, panting. He rubs both of his hands up and down my back.

“Maddy, Why would you ask me something like that? What’s going on with you today?”

I sigh, sliding off him, “I don’t know, I think I’m losing it.”

He laughs, “I knew you were crazy the day I met you.”

I smile, “I’m sorry, I ruined the moment didn’t I?”

“mmm… We can always make another moment.” He says with that evil, sexy grin of his.

“I like the sounds of that.” I say, pulling him on top of me.

Sadly the moment was again ruined, this time by my phone ringing.

I groan, grabbing it off the table, “Hello?”

“Is this Madison O’Day?” a male voice asks.

“This is, how can I help you?” I ask, sliding out from under Justin.

“Madison, my name is Bradley Parker, I’m in charge of your father’s will.”

“Oh, uh Hi.”

“Everything is finally in order and I need you to come into the office so I can read his will.”

“Ok.” Whoa wait, “Does Victoria have to be there too?”

“Yes. It says here, Victoria, Madison and William all need to be here.”

“William?” I ask a little confused.

“William was your father’s Business partner.”

I shake my head, “Right, I know that, so he’s just coming for the business part right?”

“Ma’am I can’t say anything until you are all here. Can you make it here by eleven?”

I glance at the clock, 10:13 in bright green came flashing at me, and I sigh, “Where’s your office?”

He rambles on, giving me directions to his office before I hung up, jumping up from the bed to get dressed.

“Hey, I didn’t think we were finished.” Justin whines from the bed.

“I have to go see my Father’s Lawyer.”

His pout turned into a frown, “Why?”

“They’re reading his will today.” I say, pulling a dress up my legs. Justin slid out of the bed, walking up behind me to zip up the back.

“Give me a second to get dressed.” He says, kissing my temple.

I watch him grab his underwear out of a drawer, pulling them up his legs. He quickly walks into the closet, grabbing a pair of black pants and a t-shirt and button down shirt, throwing them both on rather quickly.

I walk into the bathroom to run a brush through my hair, and sighed. It’s probably not a good idea for a whole lot of make-up today anyway. I have a feeling I’ll be crying again in a few short hours.

“You ready?” Justin asks from the bathroom doorway. I turn towards him and nod with a quick smile.

Let the circus begin.

When Justin and I walked into Mr. Parker’s office, William was the only one there waiting. He smiled before standing to give me a hug.

“How are you doing sweetheart?” he asks as we all took our seats.

“I’m doing alright.” I say with a smile, “How’s the business without Peter the Great?”

He laughs, “We’re doing alright. There are a lot of sad clients, but I think we’ll sludge through.”

I smile, “Good.”

I look over towards the door to see an older man step through the door, “Good morning, I’m Bradley, you must be Madison.”

I stand to shake his hand, “I am and I hope it’s ok, but I brought a little support with me.” I say, nodding towards Justin.

He smiles, “As long as everyone is ok with him being here.”

William steps in, “I have no problems with him being here.”

“We’ll I do. He has no right to be here and he shouldn’t be.” Victoria says from the doorway, making her grand appearance.

I sigh, taking a deep breath, “She shouldn’t have a say.” I all but growl.

She saunters in, taking a seat next to William, “Honestly I don’t think William here, should be in here either.”

“That’s not up to you, Victoria.” William says to her. “And I would feel better if Justin was here for Madison.” He adds, looking back towards Mr. Parker.

He sighs, looking back and forth between me and William, “I guess majority rules.” he says with a smile.

“Thank you.” I whisper to him before taking my seat. Justin takes my hand in his and gives it a tight squeeze before Mr. Parker started reading the will. He read through the Will rather quickly. I was a little confused by some of it, but he informed me that he was going through it all again more clearly.

“So in the case of Mr. O’Day’s business, he hereby gives his half of the business to his Daughter, Madison Ashley O’Day.”

I gasp, wide eyed, “Wait what?” I look at Will then back at Mr. Parker, “I don’t know anything about his business. How, I mean, I don’t get it.”

“He wants to see you fail again darling. Honestly what is there to be confused about?” Victoria says, with that smug look on her face.

I ignore her, looking back towards Mr. Parker, “Is this something I can give to William or am I the only one that can have it?”

“Your father wanted this company to stay in the family. He wanted you to take over for him and help William run the business.” He pauses, “Your father wasn’t crazy enough to think you’d be able to do it right off the wagon. Once it‘s your‘s you can sell it to William or anyone you choose, but he did say very clearly that he wanted this to stay in the family.”

“William…”

He shakes his head at me, smiling, “I wouldn’t buy it from you anyways. It’s your father’s company, I just helped.”

“William you’ve done more than help over the last thirty years.”

“I agree with him on this though, Madison. It should stay in the family, both your’s and mine.”

“But I don’t know anything about this business.”

He laughs, “You don’t have to. I can take care of it. I may need you for a few meetings, but other than that, I can do this. I will do this for your father, because it’s what he wanted.”

“You can’t do the job of two men by yourself and not get paid for it.” I sigh, “I can’t sit at home and take money for something I didn’t do.”

“Madison, I have enough people helping me that you don’t need to worry. I wont be doing anymore work than I was. You father was a hard worker, but we were together. What he did, I did with him. I’ve been doing just fine for the last two months.”

“Two months isn’t all that long of a time, William.” I sigh, “I could always hire people to help you and I can pay them with my father’s half of the money.”

He smiles, “We can do that. I can also teach you the fundamentals, so when you need to show up for a board meeting you wont be completely in the dark.”

I nod, “That would be great. I guess I can come in when I wont be in the way and just see what’s going on so I feel like I’m a small part of this business.”

“We’ll work this all out Madison.”

“Ok, but I’m still not completely comfortable with it.”

“We’ll get you comfortable soon enough. Don’t worry about it.” William says with a reassuring smile.

“Ok, what other surprises do you have for us?” I ask Mr. Parker.

He smiles, “I’ll move on to the Real Estate portion.”

This is the part that made me the most nervous. If I could’ve asked my father for one thing it would have been the beach house. It has so many good and bad memories that I can’t even begin to think about never going back there.

“The property in Malibu, Mr. O’Day has left to Victoria.”

She grins, “The man did have a brain.”

“I wasn’t finished.” Mr. Parker says, “He left the house along with the mortgage to you Victoria.”

She gasps, “He what? That mortgage should be paid in full.”

“According to this statement from the bank, there is still over a million owed.”

“Did he leave money for that to be paid?” She asks, wide eyed.

“I’ll get to the money shortly.”

“The property in New York will be left to Madison.” He continued.

“New York?” Both Victoria and I ask at the same time.

“He owned a building in New York. It’s for a non-profit organization for grieving families of war.” He looks over the paper work in front of him, “It looks as though he has an account for just this program and he has left it in your name, Madison. You will use the money to pay for the employees and any renovations that need to be done around the building over the years.”

“In can’t believe he did that.” I say, tears draining from my eyes.

“He actually was in talks to purchase a building in Orlando, Florida along with one in Los Angeles, California.” Mr. Parker says, “There is enough money in the account for you to still purchase these building if you choose, I can let the companies know.”

“Yeah, I would love to purchase them.” I say without even a thought.

He notes this on his note pad before continuing, “The property in Miami Beach has been left to…” He pauses to look back down at the will and my heart stops, “Madison.”

I start sobbing, whispering ‘thank you daddy’ over and over again.

“Can we get to the money? I’d like to know what I’m being left with.” Victoria says with a deep sigh.

“Madison?” Mr. Parker asks, cautiously.

I nod, wiping my face with my hands, “Go ahead.”

“The will states that he has left the sum of Seventy-six Million dollars to his Daughter, Madison.”

The breath whooshes out of my chest as I stare blankly at him. Seventy-six million dollars? Is this a joke? I didn’t even know he had that much money.

“What?” Victoria screams, jumping up from her seat, “He left me nothing?”

“He left you the real estate property in Malibu.” Mr. Parker reminds her.

“With no money to pay for the mortgage?” She asks, in shock. “He gave it all to that ungrateful little bitch and left me nothing.”

“Watch your mouth.” Justin growled at her.

“Oh I’m sure you’re thrilled. You just hit the mother load didn’t you, you piece of Tennessee shit. I‘m sure you‘ve known about the amount of money Peter was worth and just sat around acting like Madison‘s prince charming just waiting for your pay day. Well it‘s here, now you can take the money and leave my whore of daughter. I have to give you credit, it was a brilliant plan.”

“Look you bitch,” He starts, standing up, “You can say what you want about me, I couldn’t give two shits what you think, but I’ll be god damned if you talk to Madison like that. She has done nothing to deserve the way you’ve treated her, her entire life.”

“And how would you know?” She asks, not backing down.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve treated her, I’ve heard the things you’ve said about her. She doesn’t deserve it and I will not stand here and let you belittle her when you brought this whole thing on yourself.”

“I did nothing but love those kids and my husband. It‘s not my fault they were all ungrateful little bastards. Especially Matthew, going and committing suicide like he did. Dumb child.” She yells.

I stood up, getting right up in her face. I didn‘t realize I‘d hit her until my hand was back down by my hip and my palm was tingling.

“Don’t you dare talk about Matty.“ I say through my tears.

"Aren't you going to do something? She just hit me!" She yells toward Mr. Parker.

"I didn't see anything, did you?" William says to the room.

Justin shrugs, "I didn't see anything either."

She stares at the attorney and he just shakes his head, "I think you need to settle down Mrs. O'Day."

"I can't believe this, i've been nothing but good to you." She says, towards me

“Stop lying. If not to us, at least to yourself.” I say to her, “You haven’t been a mother since the day I was born and you just made it crystal clear when you disowned Matty.” I breathe in a shaky breath, “I’m an orphan. I’m a Twenty nine year old orphan and I can’t tell you how bad that hurts.”

“I’m always going to be your mother. Stop being so dramatic.” She says, rolling her eyes.

“No you will not. As long as I’m around, you will have nothing, do you hear me? Nothing to do with her. If you call, write, even think about her I’ll make your life a living hell.” Justin warns, stepping in front of me.

“Justin.” I say in a warning tone. We are still in an attorney’s office.

“I’m sick of her shit. I wont sit by and watch her disparage you anymore. You‘ve been through enough.” he turns to Victoria and smiles, “And you got exactly what you deserved. Maybe next time you’ll think twice about being such a bitch.”

I hear William chuckling beside Victoria and I can’t help but smile.

It feels good to have someone stick up for me and this is his second time in a short amount of time.

“Are we done?” Will asks, still grinning.

Mr. Parker nods, “I’ll have some paperwork done up for you all to sign, but that can be done later. You all have a good day. I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you.” I say, shaking his hand, before Justin whisks me out of the office.

************************************************************************

It’s the night before my birthday, and for the first time in two years, I’m actually excited about it.

Usually I go to my rock and spend the day talking with Matty, but this year is going to be different.

This year, I’m going to have fun.

We finished up all the necessary paperwork last week and it feels good to not have a worry in the world.

I convinced William into buying my half of the company. He of course said no over and over until I threatened to sell it to Victoria. He was quick to take it, promising to always keep the company the way my father made it. He refused to change the company name and told me that if I ever wanted it back, it was mine. That and when he died he was leaving my father’s half to me… again.

It feels really good to have that stress off my shoulders. Even if it’s just for a little while.

I signed all the papers to purchase the new buildings for the grief centers along with a few others around the country. Justin, Hadley and Trace are helping me find some good counselors and workers for the new buildings. It’s been fun traveling around the country, meeting all kinds of people that are going through the same things I was.

I spent a few days in the center in New York, that my father started and I can’t tell you how much it actually helped me. Just listening to all the others talking about the same things I’ve been feeling. I guess it was nice to know I’m not alone.

I’m currently sitting in front of Matty’s grave, and for the first time, I’m not crying.

“I know I’m a day early, but I wanted to come out and wish you a Happy Birthday. One more year and we’ll be thirty.” I laugh, “Daddy will have to throw you a bash up there.”

“I’m sorry I can’t stay long, but I promised Justin I’d be back by ten and it’s almost nine thirty now. I couldn’t not stop and say Happy Birthday to you though.”

I smile, “I love you Matty.”

“I’m really happy, I think the only thing that would make me happier is if you were here with me. I know you would have loved to see me smack Victoria. Oh, who am I kidding you were there being a fly on the wall and you loved every second of it.” I say laughing.

“Happy Birthday Matty… I love you.” I say, kissing the top of his grave before walking my way back to my car.

It’s my birthday.

I’m twenty-nine years old.

And I’m pretty positive I couldn’t be any happier than I am right in this very moment.

It’s only six fifteen in the morning, but I’m wide awake and have the biggest smile on my face.

Justin got up and cooked me breakfast and brought it up to me. He made my favorite, chocolate chip pancakes. He even got me a dozen yellow and red Gerber daisies, also my favorite.

He’s being so cute.

And incredibly sexy.

Did I mention that he’s completely naked stretched out on the bed just waiting for me to finish eating so I can have my desert. And hot damn do I want some desert.

“How do you expect me to eat with you… like that?” I ask, practically drooling.

He just grins crossing his ankles and intertwining his fingers placing them behind his head.

“Justin.” I whine, pouting.

“What’s the matter, darlin’?” He asks, still grinning. I glare at him and he laughs, taking the tray from me.

“I can’t have the birthday girl upset…” He says, moving on top of me, “What can I do to put a smile on your face darlin‘?”

“If you have to ask, your not as good as you think you are.” I didn’t even get the whole sentence out before he had my hands pinned to the mattress above my head. His mouth devours mine as his other hand slowly caresses my breasts.

His kisses move slowly down my body. His hands grab my knees pulling them as far apart as they could go before placing my feet back down on the mattress. His fingers gently travel up and down my legs as he slowly lowers himself for his first taste of breakfast.

My hands fly to his freshly shaven head, and he immediately stops pulling his lips away from me.

“That’s not going to put a smile on my face.” I groan.

“Hands above you head, or I wont continue.” He says, his breath teasing my clit with ever word.

I moan, raising my arms back above my head.

“Good girl. Now keep ‘em there or I’ll stop again.” He warns before diving back in.

I fist the sheets in my hands cementing them in place as he wreaks havoc on my clit. Justin alternated between stabbing his tongue into my opening and flicking at my bundle of nerves. It was when he inserted three of his incredible fingers into me that I started seeing stars. My eyes slammed shut, my head fell back and my fingers all but ripped holes in the sheets as my orgasm slammed into me.

The bed dipped between my legs and Justin’s forearms slipped beneath my knees, lifting them in the crooks of his elbows. I sucked in a breath as the head of his dick pressed into me, setting off another wave of tingles through my body.

I bit my lip, positive I was about to draw blood, as the pressure built inside. His thumbs traced my hipbones, soothing the flare of heat that came with his penetration. His hips moved forward and my pussy sucked another inch in. I didn’t think there was anymore room, but he shortly proved me very wrong when he leaned over, brining my legs up around his shoulders imbedding his dick inside me causing his hips to press against my clit with every thrust.

Justin drove in and out, somehow managing to hit my clit with every thrust. I could tell he was close when his eyes slid shut, his lips pursed and his nostrils flared. He was like reading a book I’ve read a thousand times. It wouldn’t be long now.

I flexed my muscles, effectively squeezing his cock causing him to hiss. He reacted by rubbing his thumb on my clit in tight circles sending me flying over the edge. I thrust my hips forward, burying his cock deeper in me. He became rigid below me, his hands gripping my hips as he came with a moan.

“Happy Birthday, Maddy.” He whispered in my ear before collapsing beside me.

“Mmm… I wish every day was my birthday.” I say, turning on my side to cuddle up against him.

He kisses my forehead, “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“You have a busy day today. You ready?”

“Do I get a nap first?” I ask with a groan.

He laughs, “No naps.”

I groan in protest when he sits up, pulling me up with him, “Go hop in the shower.”

“You coming?”

“No, but you will be.” He says with a devilish grin.

I laughed all the way to the bathroom, hanging over Justin’s shoulder.

************************************************************************

I’m sitting here at my first birthday party in years grinning like a Cheshire cat. I’m watching Justin talking with a few of his friends and a few of mine and just the sight of him makes me smile.

He went all out for this party, something I wasn’t expecting at all, but am in no way upset by it. He kept it simple, but extravagant at the same time. Hard to explain, but it’s perfect.

Hadley is loving every second of this party. All the rich, sexy bachelors running around here, she’s in heaven. She’s danced with at least ten guys since the DJ started spinning and she is still going strong.

Oh shit, I think she’s coming for me.

“Mad, it’s your birthday. Get off you sexy ass and dance with me.” She pulls my arms, forcing me towards the dance floor as Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed A Girl’ starts playing causing her to scream in excitement.

“Let’s do it birthday girl, Wahoo!” She yells dancing around, doing a damn fine job at not spilling a drop of her drink.

I notice Justin staring at us with a grin on his face as Hadley bumps her ass against mine. I shake my head at her towards Justin and he laughs, winking at me.

“You having fun, BG?” She yells over the music.

“BG?” I ask, laughing at her strange lingo.

“Birthday Girl.” She says, rolling her eyes at me.

I laugh, “I am, are you BGBF?”

It takes a minute but she finally laughs, “Good one! And yes I am, especially with all of Justin’s cute friends.”

“Why the hell are you dancing with me then?” I ask, trying to get back to my drink.

“Uh Uh.” She says, pulling me back, “I’m dancing with my best friend on her birthday, then I’m passing her off to her gorgeous boyfriend. It’s your birthday, Mad. Have fun.”

“I am.” I defend myself.

“Looked like it.” She says, rolling her eyes at me again.

I start dancing with her again, when she stops, staring at me with wide eyes.

“Oh my god!” She yells, pulling my shirt up and my pants down enough to see my music note tattoo, “Madison Ashley, when did you get this?”

“When she realized she loved me.” Justin said, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.

Hadley’s eyes grow wide, “Madison, when’d you do this?”

I laugh, “When I got Matty’s tattoo.” I say with a shrug.

“And you didn’t tell me because?” she asks, with her hand on her hip the other still holding strong to her cup.

I shrug, “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

“You had just told me you were going to try and get over him that day on the phone.” She shakes her head at her, “I didn’t realize tattoos helped you get over people.” she says, but her eyes slam shut and she sighs, “That was stupid, wasn’t it?”

I bit my lip, nodding at her.

“All your tattoos are to get over people.” she says, shaking her head at how stupid she was.

“So far.” I say in agreement.

“I thought the butterfly was for you.” Justin says, turning me towards him.

I shrug, “It is, but I got it to get over the shitty relationship I had just been in. The butterfly set me free from him, so technically it’s to get over him and all the other shitty guys I’d been with.”

He nods, “So, my tattoo isn’t a good one?”

I smile, “Your’s and Matty’s are the only ones that make me smile.” I tip up on my tip-toes to kiss him and I hear Hadley groan.

“Ok, I need to get laid, any suggestions popstar?” She asks, taking a drink, looking around the party.

Justin laughs, “You’re a good looking girl, Hadley. I’m sure you can find someone here that can take care of that itch for you.”

“Mmm. I hope so.” She says, walking off towards a group of Justin’s friends.

“She’s crazy.” He says, shaking her head, watching her flirt shamelessly with Trace.

I groan, “She had to pick him right?”

He laughs, “You know Trace. He’d fuck anything without a dick.”

“Hey that’s my friend your talking about.“

“I wasn’t saying she’s a bad choice, I was just saying she picked the right person for a sure lay.“

I laugh, “This is true,. I just wish she wouldn’t do it with… him.”

“He’s not that bad, Maddy.”

I sigh, “I guess.”

“Are you two ever going to get along?” he asks, looking down at me hopeful.

“Maybe.” I say grinning, “You’ll have to make it worth my while though.”

“Hmm, I’m sure I can come up with something.” He says, leaning down to kiss me.

Last night was amazing. I could not have asked for a better party.

This morning was a little awkward though. When I went down to start cooking some breakfast, Hadley was in the kitchen searching for coffee.

In just a t-shirt.

A man’s t-shirt.

Which can only mean one thing.

She slept with Trace.

Eewww. Just thinking about it makes my whole body shudder.

She seemed to be a little nervous when she saw me, but we joked around and things got right back to normal. We cooked the guys breakfast together, both wearing just a t-shirt.

A man’s t-shirt.

And boy did the men that owned those t-shirts enjoy the view.

“Hot damn. Pinch me, this can’t be real.” Trace says, taking a seat at the island.

“Oh it’s real, and we are two lucky bastards.” Justin says, smacking my ass lightly, leaning forward to kiss my neck.

“Morning.” He whispers in my ear.

I grin, “Morning.” I say, kissing him.

His hand wraps around my waist, pulling me flush against him as he deepens the kiss.

“I didn’t realize we got a free show with breakfast. Damn, I’ll have to get up early every morning if this is what I get.” Trace says, laughing.

Justin pulls away, “If you think this is a show, you should’ve seen us in Miami.” He says, grinning at me.

“You told me nothing happened in Miami!” Both Trace and Hadley say at the same time.

We both laugh.

“No, I said we didn’t have sex. I never said we didn’t do anything.” I say to Hadley and she rolls her eyes at me.

“What’s the difference.”

“I want to know about theses kinky stories.” Trace says, his eyes widening, “Did it happen while I was there?”

Justin laughs, “Wouldn‘t you like to know.”

“My good, sweet, innocent, friend would never do anything naughty with someone she just met. Right?” Hadley asks, her hands on her hips.

“My nice, sweet, innocent friend wouldn’t do anything naughty with a guy she just met now would she.” I ask mocking her, “You know as well as I do, your as dirty as I am.”

“Oh she’s dirty alright.” Trace says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hadley sighs, “I hate when your right, but we didn‘t just meet. There‘s a difference.”

“You waited what two, three weeks?”

“You waited what, two three hours?” She asks, rolling her eyes at me.

“It was days…” I say traveling off.

“So this is kind of weird.” Hadley says looking around at all of us, “It’s cool that we all had fun and now we’re all together this morning, but… it’s kind of weird.”

“What? Having your friend down the hall fucking your boyfriends best friend while your fucking is weird?”

“You two are finally sleeping together?” Trace yells, shocked.

I laugh, “Where the hell have you been?”

“Well shit, that’s cause for a celebration.” He says, “I thought you two would never have sex.”

“Mad can’t go too long without some… stimulation.” Hadley says, chewing a piece of bacon right off the griddle.

“I don’t need a man for that.” I say taking my plate of food into the dining room.

Hadley gasps, “Madison Ashley!”

“Hadley Marie!” I mock.

“You didn’t.” She says, sitting down across from me.

“Oh she did.” Justin says, sitting down next to me with his plate.

She screamed in excitement, “That’s classic.” She says, laughing.

“What are you three talking about?” Trace asks, taking his seat, looking around the table in confusion.

“Miss Madison and her best friend,” She holds up two fingers, “gave Justin a show.”

Trace spit out the food he had just put in his mouth, “You what?”

I laugh, “I wasn’t the only one giving a show.”

Trace gasps, “Mother fucker, you said nothing happened.”

“We never touched, we only slept in the same bed.” Justin explains.

“You both masturbated in front of each other. That’s something.” Trace says, glaring at him.

“I just have one question.” Hadley says interrupting their pseudo fight.

“What’s that?” I ask, knowing exactly what she was going to ask.

“Did you use the suntan lotion.” She says, grinning at me.

I grin when Justin answers, “Oh she used it. Over and over and over again.”

“Bitch. You stole that shit from me!” She yells, tossing a pancake at me.

I laugh, “See, this is why we’re best friends.” I says smiling from ear to ear.

“Well, if you taught her that, I have to thank you for some of the most amazing dreams I’ve had replaying that day over and over.” Justin says, winking at her.

Hadley laughs, “It’s what I do.” She says with a shrug.

“Wait, did you stick a suntan lotion bottle up…” Trace starts, but I cut him off.

“Jesus Trace, get with the program.”

“Where the hell was I when all this shit was happening?” He asks shaking his head.

“Daydreaming about meeting me.” Hadley says with a wink, running her hand up and down his thigh.

“No he was wallowing in the fact that I wasn’t the hooker he thought I was.”

“Apparently you were as dirty as I thought you were.” He says, shaking his head.

“I’m not dirty.” I defend myself, “I just know how to take care of myself and have fun doing it.”

Justin nods in agreement and Trace shakes his head, “This is fucking insane.”

“Jealous?” Hadley asks, grinning at him.

“Fuck yes.”

She laughs, “We can’t have that.” She stands, bending down to whisper in his ear, “Come upstairs and I’ll get you up to speed.”

I laugh, watching him jump out of his chair, following her out of the room like a puppy looking for a treat.

************************************************************************

“Ok, so I realize that yesterday was your birthday in all, but I never got a chance to give you your gift.” Justin says, taking a seat next to me on the hammock. I try not to laugh as he falls over, taking me with him.

“Is your gift the gift of pain?” I ask, rubbing my hand over my elbow.

“Shit, I’m sorry. You ok?” He asks, helping me stand.

“I’m fine, just remind me not to sit with you on a hammock again.”

“Cute.” he says, rolling his eyes. “I can always take this back you know.” He says, waving a small nicely wrapped box in his hand.

“You gave me a party, that gift enough for me.”

“That’s not a gift.” He says with a snort.

“I don’t need anything.”

“This is true, you don’t need anything anymore.” He says handing me the box.

I really don’t need anyth… he can’t be serious right now.

I glare at him before quickly opening the box to find two keys, one gold one silver.

“Please tell me these aren’t what I think they are.” I say, staring down at the keys.

“Well I realized you’ve been living here for a while now and you don’t have a key, so the gold one is for the front door, you wont need any of the other doors keys.” He says with a shrug, “I don’t even have keys to those doors, I think Trace took ‘em.”

I sigh, “Ok, so what’s the silver key for?”

“See, that’s your actual gift.” He says with a huge grin.

“Justin, I have plenty of money of my own now, I could’ve…”

He leans down kissing me into silence. His hands cupping my face as he kisses every thought out of my brain.

“I don’t care how much money you have, I’m going to buy you things regardless, so you probably aught to start getting used to it.” he says, pulling back from the kiss, his hands still cupping my face.

“What’s the key for?” I ask with a sigh.

“Come find out.” He says, grabbing my hand, pulling me into the house, through the kitchen and out to the garage.

Sitting in the middle of one of his garage bays was a black 1962 Chevrolet Corvette C1. A car that looks an awful lot like the one Matty had.

I slowly walk up to the car speechless lightly running my hand along the door until I reached the handle. I open it, bending to sit in the driver’s seat and I look around me at everything and I break.

Tears slid down my face as my fingers idly touch everything I could reach.

“I hope those are happy tears.” Justin says, leaning against the passenger side window.

“How’d you do this?” I ask, still completely stunned. “How’d you even know?”

He grins, “I heard your mom was holding an auction and she was selling your father’s cars.”

I nod, still a little confused, “My father didn’t own a car that was made before 1970. Where’d this come from?”

“I’m getting there.” He says with a laugh, “I went to the house to talk to her about the car, because I knew you needed a car and I figured one of your dad’s wouldn’t be a bad choice.”

I nod, urging him to continue.

“So when I go there, her attorney showed me around and I have to say your mother has terrible decorating skills.”

I laugh, “She didn’t do it.”

His face scrunches up, “Please tell me you didn’t do it.”

I laugh harder, “Hell no, my grandmother did. My father told Victoria she wasn’t allowed to change a thing in that house after gram died.” I chuckle, “He obviously did it to piss her off.”

He nods, “Anyway, when Jo, which I don’t actually know if it was a Joanna or a Joseph, but that’s not all that important right now.”

I laugh, “It’s a Joseph.”

His eyes bug out, “For real? I was betting on Joanna. He was wearing Capris.”

I laugh, “He’s trying to become a she. Has been for years. Victoria doesn’t have a clue.”

“Are you kidding? That was the most ridiculous looking person I’ve ever seen… well not quite that bad, but still it wasn’t great.”

I laugh, “He’s Victoria’s shopping buddy.”

“Jesus…” He says, shaking his head, “Anyways, he showed me all of your father’s cars that she was selling at the auction, but I wasn’t really all that impressed.”

“He bought them, but never drove them so they kind of fell through the cracks. He had people clean them and keep them running, but he didn’t really care that much about those things.”

“I gathered that.” He says with a smile, “So as I was leaving I noticed another garage and the man-she brought me over to check out what was in there. The door was locked and when Jo called Victoria she told him that there shouldn’t be anything in there.”

He grins, “I wasn’t about to leave and not find your father’s secret car collection, so I busted a board that was covering the windows and I found this beauty in there.”

“He owned this car?” I asked shocked.

He shakes his head with a grin, “No.”

“What was it doing there then?”

“Look in the glove box.”

I look at him skeptically before leaning over to open the box. My hear stops when I see a picture of Grady and Matty taped on the inside. My body started to tremble as my fingers traced their faces.

God I miss them.

Justin reached passed my hand to grab an envelope.

“This is your brother’s will.” He says softly.

“This is his car.” I whisper to no in particular.

“Actually it’s yours.” He says just as softly as I had spoken.

I tilt my head up to face him confused, “How did you convince her to give you this car?”

“I didn’t have to convince her.”

“What do you mean? Did you steal it?” I ask a little shocked he’d do something like that.

He laughs, “No, do you really think I’d steal a car?”

I shrug, “I don’t know.”

He shakes his head, handing me the envelope, “Your brother left the car to you, but asked your father to keep it until he thought you could take care of it.”

I scoff, “They didn’t think I could take care of a car…” I pause with a sigh, “Asshole.” I say with a smile.

Justin smiles, “Babe, you couldn’t take care of yourself two years ago.”

“I know, that’s why I called him an asshole.” I say shaking my head.

“I know I didn’t buy it, but…”

“Are you kidding me right now? This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am right now. I always wondered what happened to this, but I never really tried to check it out.”

“That’s what I do.” He says with a grin.

“Get in, I’ll give you a ride.” I say with a naughty grin.

“In your brother’s car?” He asks with a fake gasp.

I roll my eyes, “Get in and I’ll show you how to drive a stick.”

“I know how to drive a stick, baby.” He says, climbing in, shutting the door.

“I know, but isn’t it more fun when you don’t have to use your own hand?” I ask with a wink.

He groans, “You’re going to be the death of me woman.”

I just laugh, turning the car on and driving out of the garage.

Four words. That’s all it took for me to drop everything and just go.

Girls night in Vegas.

I got us a penthouse at the palms that is just ridiculous. It has everything and anything for only nine grand a night and that’s without the extras I tagged on for Hadley and I.

Hadley almost had a heart attack when the woman gave me my total. She looked up at the roof and thanked my father over and over again. I just laughed and handed the lady my card.

“Oh I’m sorry ma’am, but it looks like your bill has already been paid in advance.” She says, handing me back my card.

I groan, “I’m going to kill him.”

“Funny because if he was my boyfriend, I’d fuck the hell out of him for this.” Hadley says, dragging her bag behind her sauntering her way to the elevators. I take the keys, thanking the lady before rushing to catch up to her.

When we got up to the room we were both completely speechless.

The view, the pool, the furniture, the supplies, shit everything was just… wow.

“You have got to be shitting me. This is insane!” Hadley says with a big whoop at the end.

We both were standing on the balcony over looking the skyline when we hear whistles from above us. The way it was set up you couldn’t see anyone, but I have a sinking feeling I know who it was.

“They didn’t.” Hadley says rolling her eyes.

“They did.” I say as my phone rings.

“This is a girls weekend. I wasn’t aware you were a girl.” I say instead of hello.

He laughs, “And we’re having a boys weekend.”

“What, in the penthouse above us?”

He laughs again, “We haven’t been to Vegas in a while and we thought it was time to come out.”

“I’m sure that’s why you’re here.” I says, rolling my eyes even though he can’t see me.

“Ok, so Trace wanted to make sure his girl doesn’t find a better looking man while she was here.”

I laugh, “She could’ve done that at home.”

“That’s harsh.” Trace yells.

“So I’m on speaker phone now?” I asks, taking a seat on the balcony.

“Not anymore.”

“What are you doing here Justin?”

“I swear to you, you wont even know we’re here. I just wanted to make sure your room was good.”

“I’m not so thrilled you paid for it.”

“I didn’t.” He says with a chuckle.

“Who did?”

“Lover boy Ayala.” He says before getting smacked. “What the fuck dude, she asked!” I hear Justin yell before picking the phone back up.

“Why would Trace pay for our room?”

“Hold on.” He says, “Sorry, I had to get away from him.”

“So?”

“Right, he wanted you guys to have fun and not worry about money so he paid for the room. I told him you’d be pissed and think it was me, but he insisted anyways.”

“Well, let him know that Hadley was impressed and thought I should fuck the hell out of you for it, but since it was Trace, she can do the fucking.”

“I wont object to a good fucking.” he says and I can just see the grin on his face.

“Sorry, but it’s a girls weekend. I haven’t had one in way too long and I need it.”

“I know.” He says, “I hope you have fun and if you guys get drunk and horny, you know where to find us.”

I laugh, “I’ll remember that.”

“Better.” He laughs, “Love you, have fun, but not too much fun.”

I laugh, “Love you too.”

I slide my phone shut and sigh.

“Are they here to ruin our weekend?” Hadley says, coming up behind me.

“No, they are here incase we get drunk and horny.” I say with a laugh.

“Mmm, are you going to give him his thank you fucking later?” She asks wiggling her eyebrows.

“Justin didn’t pay for the room. Trace did.”

Here eyes bug out, “He did?”

I nod, “He wanted you to have a good time and for neither of us to worry about spending our money.”

“Aww, that’s so cute.” She says, unwrapping the towel that was around her body covering her bathing suit.

“Swimming already?”

She shrugs, stepping down into the pool, “I couldn’t resist.”

“So what’s going on with you and Trace anyways?”

“A whole lot of toe curling fucking.” She says biting her bottom lip.

I groan, “Too much info.”

“And if I asked what was going on with Justin and you, you’d reply with ‘we like to read and watch romantic movies together.’” She snorts, “Like the two of you aren’t fucking like rabbits.”

“But Justin isn’t…”

“Don’t even say it Mad, besides it’s not like we’re going to be couple or anything, it’s just a fucking good time.”

“Hadley, the man just bought you an outrageous penthouse in Vegas and he’s not even staying in the room with you. I think he wants a little more than just a fucking good time.”

“Well that’s all it is.” She says with a shrug, but I’ve been her friend for way too long and I know when she’s in love and that girl is head over heels.

To each their own I guess…

“I’m telling you, we both went into this thing on the same page. We just want really great sex without all that other shit that gets in the way.”

“What? Happiness?” I ask, shaking my head.

“No all that mushy, oh pumpkin I wuv you, let me cancel all my plans and just be with you shit. It’s ridiculous and neither one of us wants that right now so, we’re having fun.”

“Again, I’m going to throw out the fact he just bought you a penthouse in Vegas knowing I have a shit load of money just sitting in the bank. He knew damn well we didn’t need to worry about money yet he still paid for the room to impress you.”

“He wasn’t trying to impress me, he was just being nice.” She says sitting down on the steps in the pool, raising her arms up to rest on the edge.

“You’ve been sleeping together for how long now? Three weeks? It was my birthday right?”

She groans, looking out the window behind her.

“Hadley.”

“It has been three weeks since your birthday hasn’t it. Huh.”

“Hadley.”

“Time flies when your having fun.”

“Hadley.” I say a little bit louder.

“I had so much fun that night.”

“I’m calling Trace.” I say, dialing his number and pressing the phone to my ear.

“It was the night of your father’s funeral.” She says quickly.

“Four months!” I yell just as Trace answers his phone.

“What was four months?” He asks, laughing.

“Are you fucking kidding me Hadley?” I say, ignoring Trace completely.

“I didn’t think it was a huge deal.” She says nervously.

“You lied to me!” I say shocked.

“No I didn’t.”

“What is she lying about?” Trace asks, laughing again. I’m guessing he’s already drunk.

I hang up the phone tossing it on the chair next to me before continuing, “You said you waited a few weeks before you had sex with him.”

“No, you said that, I never answered I just came back with a comeback towards you. I never really answered.” She defends herself.

“Why didn’t you say something? Jesus, four months Had?” I say, angry and confused as to why she wouldn’t tell me.

“You hate him!” She yells, getting out of the pool, “Why would I admit to being with a man you hate.”

I sigh, “I don’t hate him, Hadley.”

“You certainly don’t like him.” She says, wrapping a towel around herself and walking away from me.

“Hadley, I’m your best friend. Whether I liked him or not you could’ve still told me.” I yell after her.

I hear a knock at the door and I ignore it, following her to her room.

“You can’t stand the man and I really didn’t want to go through the whole, he’s not good enough for you speech. It just seemed stupid.” She says, stripping off her bathing suit, quickly throwing a tank top and a pair of jeans on.

“Did you get implants?” I ask when she turns to walk out of the room.

She stops glaring at me, “You know I wouldn’t do that.”

“I’ve been your friend for as long as I can remember and your breasts have never been that big.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hadley, your breasts are a lot bigger than they used to be.”

“I’m just gaining some weight.” She says dejectedly.

“In just your breasts?” I ask with a chuckle.

“No, look at my belly. It’s ridiculous.” she says, lifting her shirt up to show me.

She groans, “I don’t think they’re going away.” she drops her shirt, turning to leave the room again, but I grab her arm.

“When was the last time you had your period?”

Her face scrunches up in disgust, “Really? Why the hell would you ask…” Her face slowly turns pale as she trails off.

“Hadley?”

“I can’t be. That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t have a bump yet anyways. I’m just gaining weight.”

“Do your breasts hurt?”

“They’re a little sore, but Trace is a little rough.” She says with a grin.

“Hadley, I think your pregnant and I’m thinking your four months along.”

She shakes her head as the banging on the door increases, “I can’t be. This can’t be happening.”

I sigh, “Sit here, I’ll go get rid of them and I’ll call down to the desk to see if we can get a test sent up.”

“You can do that at a hotel?”

“It’s Vegas. I could get rope and handcuffs sent up and they’d think nothing of it.” I say, laughing.

“Maddy, I can’t be pregnant.”

“Stay here ok. I’ll be right back.”

She nods and I leave the room, closing the door behind me. I reach the front door and open it as they both start yelling again.

“Can I help you?” I ask, like nothing was wrong. If they only knew…

“What the hell took so long?” Justin asks angrily.

“We were naked, changing from a dip in the pool. I didn’t know who was a the door and I wasn’t about to answer it half naked. I learned my lesson in Miami.” I say glaring at Trace.

He groans, “Damn that was hot.”

Justin smacks the back of his head, “I can always tell Hadley about your gay adventures.”

“Fuck you.” He says, rubbing where Justin hit him, “Where is Hadley?”

“Uhh.. She’s still changing.”

“Nice, I’ll go catch her before she gets fully dressed.” He says strolling through the door.

I grab his arm, pulling him back to the door, “Girls weekend. Leave us alone.”

“You’re a party pooper.” He says, pouting.

I roll my eyes, “Go back upstairs and leave us alone. It’s our weekend away from you two. So I better not see you again unless we make the initiative, got it?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Trace says, saluting me.

“Out.” I say shooing them out the door.

“Everything’s ok?” Justin asks before I could shut the door, “Trace said you were yelling on the phone.”

“Small tiff with Had, but we’re good. Promise.” I say giving him a smile, “Now go.” I shut the door with a deep sigh.

How can this be happening? My crazy, free spirited friend can’t possibly be pregnant with that midget ass.

God, I’m horrible. My best friend is in love with the man and could possibly be pregnant with his child. I have to start being nice to the man. He’s not a bad guy, I mean he spent a shit load of money on a hotel room for a girl that can’t even admit that she’s in love with him because she doesn’t believe in that shit.

I grab the phone on the table, calling down to the front desk asking for a few tests to be sent up. Just like I thought, they said they’d bring them right up.

Vegas.

“They gone?” Hadley asks, walking into the living room.

I nod, “Yes. And the front desk is bringing up some tests for you.”

She shakes her head in denial, “It’s going to be negative.”

“What if it’s not?” I ask in curiosity.

“Then I’m royally fucked.”

“Would you admit you have feelings for him?”

She sighs, “What if he doesn’t have feelings for me? What if he hates kids? What if I lose him over this?“

“You’ll never know until you ask.“

“How? Just go up to him and say, ‘hey how’s it going? Good? Well, hey I was wondering do you like kids and would you freak out if I was pregnant?”

“Hadley, just talk to him about it. You’ll have to tell him eventually anyways.”

“I know, I’m just scared.” She says as a knock sounds at the door.

I open the door to find Justin standing there with three different boxes of pregnancy tests in his hand.

“Something you need to tell me?” I joke.

“No, but do you?” he asks all too seriously.

“How’d you get them?” I ask with a sigh.

“I was at the front desk when you called. They said they needed to bring up a few pregnancy tests to Ms. O’Day’s penthouse.” He hands them to me, “I told them I’d be happy to bring them up to you.”

“And they let you?” I ask a little shocked.

“I told them we we’re together, that and the fact I’m who I am, they didn’t even bat an eyelash.” He explains, “So?”

I turn to look at Hadley and she looks scared to death, so I take one for the team, “I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’m late so I figured I’d make sure so I don’t drink tonight if I am.”

“So you think you could be?”

I shrug, “I don’t see how, I mean I’m on the pill, but you never know.”

He nods, “Go take the test.”

Shit.

I nod slowly trying to figure out how to get Hadley in there with me so she can take the test.

“I’ll go with you.” Hadley says, jumping up from the couch, rushing after me.

“Women.” Justin says shaking his head, “Is there ever a time you don’t go to the bathroom together?”

“It’s just what we do.” Hadley says, pushing me into the bathroom, closing the door behind us.

“You owe me.” I say handing her a box.

I rip open a box, unwrapping one of the tests before pulling my skirt down.

“You’re taking it?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Well if yours comes out positive, I can’t very well bring that out to show him its negative, can I?” I ask, placing the stick on the counter, pulling my skirt back up.

“Your turn.” I say nodding towards the toilet.

She does her thing and we both stand there staring at the tests on the counter. Mine should be done, but I didn’t really worry about mine, it was hers I was waiting for.

“That’s two minutes Had. Look at it.”

“Which one?” She asks nervously.

“Mine is the negative one so look for the positive one.” I say jokingly.

She walks towards the counter and I can see her shaking, “Hadley?”

“This can’t be happening.” She says, sobbing.

I look over her shoulder at the tests and sigh.

One positive, one negative.

“What am I going to do Mad?” She asks through her sobs.

“First thing you need to do is tell him.”

“Why couldn’t it be you?”

I laugh, “Thanks Had.”

“Well you’re the one with the boyfriend and the money. I have a fuck buddy and debt up the ass.”

“And a friend that is more than willing to be the most amazing aunt in the world that will shower this child with everything it could ever need and then some.”

“I can’t do this.”

I sigh, pulling her against me, “Yes you can, and I will be there every step of the way.”

A knock sounds from the door and I sigh, “I’ll go get this over with and I’ll be right back.” I kiss her forehead, “Everything will be just fine, I promise.”

I grab the test off the counter and open the door to see Justin in mid knock.

“Impatient much?” I ask with a laugh, “C’mon.”

We walk to the living room and I hand him the test, “It’s negative. All is good in the world again.”

He stares down at the test for a minutes before looking back up at me, “Last time I checked a plus sign was a positive thing.”

I grabbed the wrong test.

I fucking grabbed the wrong test.

Jesus Christ, I grabbed the wrong test.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

How the hell am I going to get myself out of this one?

How the hell did I grab the wrong test? Well, that’s a stupid question, they were right next to each other, it’s an easy mistake. But now I have the man I love standing in front of me thinking we’re having a baby.

How did this happen?

“Wh-What?” I ask dumbly.

Fuck, I’m screwed.

“It has a plus sign, wouldn’t that be positive?” He asks staring at me like I have all the answers in the world.

“Plus sign is positive, it’s fucking positive.” I say, falling back to sit on the couch behind me.

“So you’re pregnant?” He asks almost in a squeak.

“I um… I’m… fuck.” I say completely lost.

What do I do now?

He runs his hands over his face a few times, rubbing the pads of his palm against his eyes, “How did this happen?”

“Sex. That’s how it usually happens.” I say trying to joke my way out of this.

“This isn’t time for jokes, Maddy. How the fuck did this happen?”

I can’t out Hadley like this. Fuck, what do I do?

“I…” I don’t have words. I have nothing.

“Maddy, you have to talk.” He sighs, “How the hell did this happen?” He asks, but more just to hear it out loud then to actually ask me.

“Justin I’m not…” I start, but stop before I fucked up Hadley’s lie.

“You’re not what?” he asks nervously, “You’re not thinking about getting rid of it are you?”

Jesus, that came out wrong. Now I have the guy thinking I’m just like his ex. Fuck this is getting way too out of hand.

“I wouldn’t do that Justin.”

He sighs in relief, “I can’t believe this.”

“Me either.” I say, leaning my head back on the couch.

“What are you still doing here?” Hadley asks, from the hallway.

I look up at her with watery eyes and her face pales, “Shit.” She whispers.

Justin looks at her, then back to me with netted eyebrows, “What’s the matter?”

“She thought it was negative too.” I say quickly.

“Maddy…” She says, but I cut her off.

“It‘s ok Had.” I say, wiping my face off from the stray tears.

“It was mine.” she says in defeat.

“What?” Justin asks confused.

“The positive test was mine, this is hers.” She says showing him the other test, “She took the wrong one off the counter.”

He looks at me, “What’s going on?”

I look at Hadley and she nods, “I’m going up to see Trace. Is he in your room?”

“Yeah, here.” He says handing her his key.

“Thanks.” She whispers toying with the key.

I jump up, “It’s going to be fine Had.”

She shrugs, “We’ll see.” She says, walking out the door.

“What’s going on Maddy?” Justin asks, getting irritated.

“Hadley’s pregnant and the tests were for her.” I say, turning towards him.

“So you took one to appease me and it turned out positive?”

I shake my head, “Mine was negative, but I took her test with me instead of mine.”

“So you’re not pregnant?”

“No.”

“Fuck, that was the worst roller coaster I’ve ever been on.” He says scratching the back of his head nervously.

“I’m sorry, but we weren’t sure if she was or not and I didn’t want you to tell Trace if she wasn’t so I just played it like it was all on me and then I go and take the wrong test and all hell broke loose.”

“And when were you going to tell me you weren’t pregnant?” he asks, “in nine months when no baby came, but Hadley suddenly had one?”

“I couldn’t out her. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Jesus Maddy, You just made me believe you were pregnant and now your not. That’s fucked up!” He yell angrily.

“I’m sorry.” I sob, dropping back down on the couch.

He sighs, walking to sit next to me, pulling me against him.

“I’m so sorry.” I say over and over.

“Don’t be sorry, Maddy. I understand why you did it, I just wish you would’ve trusted me enough to tell me.”

“I was scared for Hadley.” I admit, wiping my face with my hands.

“Is she going to tell him?” He asks, kissing me on the temple.

“That’s what she’s doing right now.” I sigh, “God, he better not act like an ass to her.”

“The man is chained at the ankle for the woman. I think he’ll be fine.”

“Were you scared?”

“Honestly?” He asks tilting my head towards him.

I nod, “I was a little excited.”

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, “I’m so sorry.”

He smiles, “Don’t start the water works again. I’m sure we’ll have this discussion again one day.”

“So you wouldn’t have minded if I had been the one that was pregnant?”

He smiles, “No, I wouldn’t have minded.” He runs a hand over my belly, “I’d love to watch you grow with my baby inside you.”

“Really?”

He nods slowly, “Really.”

************************************************************************

She never came back.

I’ve been calling her cell all night, but then I realized she had left it here, so that plan didn’t work out so well. Justin kept calling Trace’s cell and the room number, but no one answered.

It’s eight thirty in the morning and we haven’t heard from either of them. She left here at nine last night. I don’t understand what’s taking so long. I get that this is huge, but does it take twelve hours to deal with?

What if something happened and she left. Where is she? What if she’s all alone somewhere and has no way to get in touch with me.

“Stop it.” Justin say, wrapping his arm around my waist from behind me.

“What if something happened?”

“Maddy, we’ve been up all night worrying and I’m dead tired. Please get some sleep with me.”

“What if she’s alone somewhere?”

“Trace wouldn’t just kick her out, he’s a good guy Maddy. I wish you would give him a shot.”

I sigh, “I promised myself yesterday I would, but it may not even have anything to do with him. What if she freaked and just ran and now she’s all alone somewhere freaking out.”

“Then where’s Trace?” He asks with a yawn, “If she never told him, then why isn’t he answering the phone?”

“He was pretty drunk last night when I talked to him. Maybe he passed out.”

He chuckles tiredly, “Maddy, I’m sure everything is fine. Please get some sleep.”

I turn in his arms to face him, “Fine, but I’m still worried.”

He laughs, “Close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes after watching him for a few minutes. He’s probably right, but she’s the only rock I have left and I can’t have anything happen to her.

“Honey!” Hadley yells

“We’re home!” Trace yells, making the two of them laugh uncontrollably.

I jump out of the bed, Justin close behind me, running down the stair and into the living room where Trace and Hadley were still laughing.

“Where the hell have you two been?” I yell causing them to stop laughing.

“Talking.” Hadley says with a shrug.

“I know you’re a big talker, but twelve hours? That’s bull shit. Where have you been?”

“We talked for a little while…” Hadley says.

“Then we fucked for a long while…” Trace adds with a smack to Hadley’s ass.

She giggles, swatting at him, “And then we went out on the strip for a little while…”

“And then we got married.” Trace say, grinning from ear to ear.

“You what?” Justin and I say at the same time.

“We got married.” Hadley says, biting her bottom lip.

“Are you fucking stupid?” I ask

“Maddy, we talked and we both finally admitted we had feelings for each other so…”

“So you thought you’d get married? Because you have feelings for each other? Are you insane?”

“Maddy, I know you don’t like me and think she could do a lot better, but I love her and I have since I laid eyes on her.” Trace says, taking her hand in his, “We’re having a baby and my Grams would kill me if I had a kid out of wedlock.”

“That’s not a reason to get married.” I say more calmly.

“I wanted this. I knew what I was doing and so did he.”

“Hadley, this afternoon you said you wanted nothing to do with all that romantic shit.”

She rolls her eyes at me, “You know how I like to talk shit when I’m trying to hide something.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately.” I say sadly.

“Maddy…”

I shake my head, “I’m glad that your happy. I’m glad this… thing worked out.” I force a smile, “Keep her happy for me?” I ask Trace with another forced smile.

“I wouldn’t hurt her for anything.” He says and I honestly believe him.

“Better not.” I sigh, “I didn’t sleep much, so I need to go back to bed. I’ll catch up with you guys later.” I stop, “Did you guys want this room? I can go upstairs with Justin.”

“We can stay up there, it’s fine.” Trace says.

So I guess girls weekend is over. I turn back around and walk into the bedroom, plopping down on the bed.

I hear Justin come into the room a few minutes later, but I pretend I’m asleep because I’m in the mood to talk. My head is still spinning, I don’t even have the slightest idea of what just happened out there. I mean, did my best friend, miss independent Hadley seriously just get married, in Vegas of all places?

This can’t seriously be happening.

That’s it, it’s all a bad dream. I’ll wake up soon and this will all be a bad dream.

“Maddy?”

I open my eyes and turn my head to see Trace standing at the other side of the bed. I sit up with a sigh, patting the spot next to me for him to sit. He hesitates for a second, but sits down, leaning against the headboard like I was.

“I love her MO.” he says, staring at the blank screen of the TV on the wall in front of us.

“But you’ve only known her for four months.”

He laughs, “Is that what you were yelling about last night?”

I nod, “Yes, she made me think you two have only been together since my birthday.”

“That’s my fault.”

“Didn’t think I’d approve?”

He laughs, “That and it was new. I didn’t want to jinx it with her. I really liked her, I really love her now, MO. I know it’s crazy, but we’re adults and we can make our own decisions.”

“I know, but why marriage? Why couldn‘t you wait and see what happens? What if you find out you can‘t stand her or she can‘t stand you? What are you guys going to do then?”

He sighs, “If and it’s a big if, that ever happens I let you beat the shit out me while she holds me down.”

“I’m serious Trace, I can’t watch her get hurt again.”

“I give you my word, I’ll never intentionally hurt her.” he smiles, “Not that my word means that much to you, but it’s all I have.”

“I believe you. And I don’t hate you, just so you know.”

He laughs, “you sure about that?”

I roll my eyes at him, “Positive. I may get frustrated with you sometimes, but all in all you’re a good guy.” I turn to look at him, “Hadley’s lucky to have you.”

“You mean that?”

I nod with a smile, “I do.”

“Thank you.” He says nudging me with his shoulder.

“Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“I wont.” He slides off the bed, “I’m taking Justin back to LA LA land with me.”

“You’re what?” I ask confused.

“I think we’ve ruined your girls weekend, so I’m taking him back to LA so you two can have a girls week.”

“We only have the room for another day.”

“Justin’s taking care of it right now, you’re good.”

“You just got married and your willing to leave her for a week?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m being forced. Believe me, if it was up to me I’d be shipping you two home, but Hadley wont have it.”

“You’re supposed to be on your honeymoon, not separating.”

“But it’s girls weekend!” He says in the worst Hadley impression I’ve ever heard.

“And we can have one another time.” I smile, “Go grab your wife and take her to breakfast, we’ll be gone when you get back.”

“And when she get’s royally pissed and denies me sex?”

“I’ll leave her a note. She’ll get over it.”

“Thanks MO.”

I laugh, “Have fun and be good to her.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior… Well, outside the bedroom anyway.”

I laugh, “Get out of here.”

He reaches towards me, pulling me against him in a hug. He pulls away grinning at me.

“What was that for?”

“It was the beginning of our friendship.”

I laugh, “You’re crazy.”

“Something we have in common.” He says with a wink and a smack to my ass.

I gasp and he laughs, walking out of the room.

************************************************************************

That was by far the craziest weekend I’ve had in a long time.

I still can’t believe Hadley got married. And to Trace of all people. I knew they were both crazy, but that’s just asinine to me. I mean, shit, they’ve known each other shorter than Justin and I and we aren’t even close to that stage. I love him and everything, but marriage? I’m not so sure I’ll be ready for that for a long while. I’ve been trampled on one too many times to rush into something that huge.

But I can’t stop thinking about what Justin said in Vegas. Did he really wish I was pregnant? We’ve known each other for eight months, three of which we were separated. So we’ve only really been a couple for five months and Hadley’s been with Trace for only four and they are so far ahead of us it’s ridiculous.

“You’ve been quiet for the whole ride home and you haven’t said a word since we got here, What’s going on?” Justin asks, sitting down on the couch next to me.

I close the book I was only pretending to read, placing it on the table next to me and sigh, “I’m sorry, I’m just still a little shocked that they got married.”

“So am I.” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, letting his fingers linger on my cheek for a few seconds, “It’s their life and if it turns out they made a mistake then they’ll have to deal with that later on, but if not then maybe this is what they both needed. Maybe this is their happily ever after.”

I nod, “Maybe, I hope it is. I really don’t want to have your best friend and my best friend going through a crazy divorce and have us be at each other because of them.”

“Then let’s make a deal now, if anything happens to them it’s all on them, we will stay out of it.”

“That sounds good, but you know as well as I do we’ll be smack in the middle.”

“So lets pray like crazy things work out for them.” he jokes, grinning.

“Why don’t we stop worrying about them and do something for us.”

“Like what?”

He grins, “You could let me take you out to dinner, then let me bring you back here to give you a full body massage, then maybe I’ll let you have sex with me.”

I laugh, “Mmm that is a tempting offer, but do you really want to be in every magazine tomorrow just for dinner when I could cook you something here?”

“That’s the point of going to dinner, no one has to do anything but enjoy the dinner and each other.”

“We could make making dinner fun though.”

“And how would we do that?”

“You have some pretty good recipes for dinner and so do I. we can choose something of yours and something of mine that would go good together then we play strip cooking.”

“Strip cooking?” He asks with a chuckle.

“Mmhmm. We start out by getting out all the ingredients we’ll need and them some we don’t.” I say straddling his waist, letting my arms drape over his shoulders, “You’ll guess at what should go in my meal and I guess what goes in yours. If your wrong then you strip, but if your right, you get to take off something of mine.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier just to bring you upstairs and rip all your clothes off and eat dinner off you?”

I laugh, “You could, but it wouldn’t be as fun. Come on.”

Twenty minutes later, Justin was down to his boxers and I still had my bra, shorts and panties still on and it was my turn to guess. I have a feeling he’s eating naked tonight and I’m going to enjoy this meal whether it turns out good or not.

“Ok, What goes in next?” He asks, grinning, thinking I don’t know, but I have a feeling I do.

“Nothing.” I say grinning, “All that’s left is to add all of that with the meat in the pan.”

His face stays blank for a minute before huge grin breaks out, “Wrong.”

I gasp, “What? You never put anything else in it after the onions. I’ve watched you make this a million times.”

“I’ve made it twice and you obviously forgot about the pepper I also add to the mix.”

“Pepper? That’s not really in the recipe!” I say wide eyed.

He laughs, “It’s always been in mine. I think I tastes better that way.”

I roll my eyes, reaching for the button on my shorts. His hand grabs my wrists, stopping me. I look up in question, but he just grins at me.

“I think you should lose the bra first.”

“Whatever you say.” I reach behind me, unclasping my bra, letting it slowly fall off my shoulders, dropping it to the floor, “Your turn.”

“There are two more ingredients you have left.”

“You sure?” I ask, as his eyes fall from mine down to my naked breasts.

“Positive.” his gaze comes back up to mine with a grin, “You like to add cheese and then you sprinkle a dash of salt over the top.”

I laugh, “How the hell did you know that?”

He grins, “I find it incredibly sexy watching you cook.” He kisses my forehead before taking a step back, reaching his hand out in front of him, “Shorts and panties.”

“Together?”

He nods, “I go the last two ingredients. That’s two pieces of clothing.”

“But you can’t guess two at the same time.”

He laughs, “You’re taking them off in the next thirty seconds regardless.”

“These need to go in the oven first.” I say stepping back bumping in to the counter behind me, He grins following me, his hands gripping the counter on either side of my hips. He sneaks his hands behind me lifting the pans over my head, nodding towards the oven. I open the doors letting him slip the pans in. He closes the door with his thigh while looking at me with hunger in his eyes.

“Timer.” I say, walking backwards again, this time hitting the wall.

He laughs, “I wont let it burn.”

“You wont remember what time it needs to be taken out.” I say as he reaches me, pressing his body against mine, gluing me to the wall.

“I figure it takes about an hour for it to cook so I have a good twenty minutes of you panting against the wall, then another ten to fifteen minutes with your ass sliding all over the counter, then I was thinking I’d have twenty minutes of you bent over the dining room table. I’m sure dinner will be done by then.”

“Oh god.” I whisper as my shorts and panties disappear to my right into the air.

I vaguely remember being lifted off the floor, but I lost all sense of everything when he slammed into me, knocking me completely stupid.

He growls, thrusting in and out of me with so much force I can barely breath. My heads spinning, my body’s tingling and I can’t hear anything except Justin panting and whispering in my ear. He kept bringing me to the brink of my orgasm, but then he’d pull out, nipping at my neck and shoulder until he thought I’d calmed down enough for him to start his assault on my body over again.

He did that three times before he finally let me fall over the edge screaming his name along the way. He didn’t waste time in moving me to the counter, pulling my legs up to the counter, setting my feet up next to my waist.

He grinned at me, his eyes dark with want, “Touch yourself, Maddy.”

I moan at the thought of him watching me again, “Only if you play along too.”

“I was planning on it.” He says, running a finger over my slick folds, sliding it inside me quickly. He pulls it out just as quickly bringing his finger up to his mouth sucking my juices of it. “You’re my favorite kind of desert, baby.”

I moan, “There’s more where that came from.”

He laughs, “Your turn to play.”

I pout, hoping he’ll change his mind, but he just glares at me until I slide my hand over my hip and over my soaked folds. We both moan when two of my fingers disappear into my center. I watch his boxers float to the floor in a pool at his feet then see him grab hold of the base of his cock slowly gliding it up and down all while watching me.

My head falls back against the cupboards behind me as I start panting. This is too much. I thought the first time we did this was hot, but this is way more… holy shit.

Wasn’t expecting that at all.

My eyes fly open and I look down to see Justin crouched down between my legs, his head buried between my thighs, his tongue working it’s magic on my clit. Rotating between licking and sucking for what seemed like a lifetime, he had me writhing on the counter. He held tight to my thighs, making sure I wouldn’t fall as he sent me over the edge in another mind blowing orgasm.

He kisses up my belly making his way to my neck as he pulls me off the counter and walking into the dining room. Holding on for dear life, I take the time to regain normal breathing, but he didn’t give my legs a chance to toughen back up. He set my feet down on the floor and my legs buckled, feeling just like jell-o. He grabbed me with a chuckle, turning me around and leaning me over the table.

Without warning, he plunged into me from behind, taking my breath away. My hands slide across the table, grabbing the edge with white knuckles. He held onto my hips so they wouldn’t bash into the edge of the table, which I was grateful for even though bruises we’re the last thing on my mind.

Honestly there wasn’t anything going on in my mind except feeling and damn was I feeling good.

He slowed down a few times, catching his own breath and postponing my inevitable orgasm again and again. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs every time he’d pause. My body was trembling and I couldn’t find enough breath in me to even conjure up a moan let alone a scream.

I felt like crying when he finally whispered, asking me to come for him. He didn’t even get the whole sentence out before I was flat against the table, my body trembling with an orgasm. I felt him stiffen behind me before hearing him grunt his release.

We laid there, him curled on top of me, for a few minutes before I felt him pull away from me. I stayed there, lying on the table still panting. I heard him open the oven and he laughs before I see him in the door way.

“What’s so funny? You burn ‘em?” I ask, pushing myself up off the table.

He shook his head, still grinning, “They both came out perfect.”

I laugh, “You’re kidding.”

He shakes his head again, “No joke, they both look perfect.” He shrugs, “Maybe we should use the sex timer more often.”

I hate being sick.

I fucking hate being sick.

I… excuse me I have to throw up again…

Have I mentioned I hate being sick?

I’ve been laid up in bed for well over a week and it’s starting to really bug the shit out of me. Thankfully I haven’t constantly been vomiting, but even when I’m not, I feel like shit.

Justin’s been amazing. He’s been right there every time I’d sprint off to the porcelain god, he’s had the cold wash cloth ready for me when I was finished, he brought me blankets when I was cold and fans when I was hot. He even got me a bell for when he would leave the room. I haven’t used it, but it was a cute gesture.

I only have Hadley to thank for all of this too.

They decided to stay in Vegas for two weeks, then they jetted off to Cancun for another couple of weeks. She came back sick as a dog. We thought it was just morning sickness at first, but she was laid out flat for a week. I, of course being the amazing friend I am, stayed with her to make sure she was ok. And this is how she thanked me. She gave me the goddamned thing.

Oh, it’s not her fault, I know, but I have to blame someone for this shit.

“How’s she feeling?” I hear Hadley whisper to Justin in the doorway.

“She’s been better.” He whispers back.

“She’d be better if her best friend hadn’t given her whatever this thing is.” I say, making them both jump.

“You should be sleeping, Maddy.” Justin says almost fatherly like.

“It’s the flu, but it’s a pretty bad form of it. I just got back from the doctors.” She says walking into the room.

“How are you and the little one doing?” Justin asks, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Me and baby are fine, thankfully.” She says smiling. She turns towards me, “I have something to tell you.” She whispers.

I nod, noting the serious look on her face.

“Justin can you make me some soup? I can’t tell if I’m going to be sick or if I’m hungry.”

He chuckles, patting my foot, “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time.” I say, giving him a look and he nods.

I turn to Hadley after he closes the door, “What’s up?”

She sighs, “You need to go to the doctor. Today.”

I look at her nervously, “Is this thing serious?”

“It can be, especially for a baby.”

“Had, I’m not a baby.”

“No, but your carrying one.” She says and I freeze, staring at her.

“Wha… What? What the hell?” I stutter confusedly.

“Maddy, those tests we took in Vegas…” She pauses looking back at the door then back to me, “I wasn’t the pregnant one.”

I shake my head, “What? You just told Justin you and the baby were fine.”

“We are.”

“Then how could you not be the pregnant one if you’re pregnant?” I ask, sitting up against the head board.

“Because I’m only three weeks pregnant.” She says with a sigh. “Maddy the positive test was yours, not mine. I didn’t get pregnant until a week later.”

“How… how can you be sure? I mean it’s only a week, how can they be certain it’s only three weeks?”

“I got my period the day you guys left. I went to the doctors in Vegas and he told me I wasn’t pregnant.” She sighs, “I was scared to tell Trace so I kept quiet until we got to Cancun. He didn’t believe me when I told him, so he made me take another test and it came out positive.” She sighs again, “I wasn’t pregnant in Vegas when we took the tests, Maddy. You were.”

“I-I-I-I can’t be.”

“You need to go see a doctor, because you might be.”

“She might be what?” Justin asks, walking in with my soup that is not going to take this nauseous feeling away.

“Really sick. I think she should go see a doctor today.” Hadley says quickly.

And that’s when the day started to get really bad. He helped me get cleaned up and rushed me to the hospital to get checked out. I’m happy to inform you that I did not have that dreaded swine flu… oh wait we can’t call it that… what was it? The H1N1? Whatever, I didn’t have that anyways.

What I did have was a baby, that much was made certain with one little blood test.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. It’s not that I wasn’t happy that I’m pregnant, it’s the fact I’ve been so sick and I haven’t been taking care of this little baby growing inside me. I felt like a horrible mother, and I’ve only known for a good half hour.

Justin is going to pass out when I tell him.

I’m not sure he’ll even believe me when I tell him, with what happened in Vegas and all.

I asked the doctor not to mention it to him until I had a chance to talk to him alone. I haven’t had a moment alone with the man since I found out and I want to scream for everyone to get out so I can get this off my chest before I lose the nerve.

“I’m glad you don’t haven anything too horrible.” Trace says, keeping his distance from me.

“No, just a plain ‘ol flu. Doesn’t take away the fact that I feel and look like shit and would love to spend the rest of this wonderful time at home in bed and not here in this very uncomfortable thing they pass off as a bed.” I say, glancing at Justin.

“I’ll see if you can leave.” he says, walking out the door to catch the doctor.

“So?” Hadley asks, raising an eyebrow in a silent question. Not that Trace doesn’t already know, because Hadley has one of the biggest mouths I’ve ever seen.

I sigh, “I’m sick Hadley, that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” She asks, confused.

“The nurse is putting together your discharge papers, so you can get dressed. She said the doctor is going to want to talk to you about some things before you leave though. Is that bad?” Justin asks, walking into the room.

“No, I’m sure it’s just, take care of yourself, drink lots of fluids, you know stuff like that.” I say with a shrug. “Why don’t you guys go get the car and I’ll meet you down there when I’m done here.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Justin says, shaking his head at me like that was one of the dumbest things he’s ever heard.

“We’ll see you guys back at the house.” Trace says, pulling Hadley out the room with a quick wave to the both of us.

“Why don’t you get dressed, Baby.”

I nod, turning to get out of the bed, pausing at the edge.

“Do you need help?” He asks, walking back over towards me.

I shake my head.

“Are you going to be sick?”

I shake my head again.

“What’s the matter?” he asks kneeling down in front of me, taking my hands in his.

“Remember in Vegas when we had the whole… test thing?”

He chuckled, “When you said you were pregnant, but it was Hadley that was pregnant?”

I sigh, “Yeah that.”

“I vaguely remember something like that happening. Why?”

“It turns out that Hadley wasn’t pregnant that day.”

“Huh?”

“She got pregnant in Vegas, but wasn’t pregnant when we took the test.”

“I’m confused.”

I sigh, “That positive test wasn’t hers.”

“It wasn’t yours either?” He asks, just not getting any of this at all.

“I’m pregnant Justin. I was the pregnant one that day, but we thought it was her. It turns out she got pregnant after the fact, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m pregnant now and I was then too. I’m about three months pregnant.”

He stares at me for a few minutes silently before taking a deep breath, “For real this time or is this some sick joke again?”

I shake my head, the tears I was holding back spilling over the edge, “No joke.”

It took him a few seconds for it to register before a grin pulled out on his face, “We’re having a baby.”

I smile, “We’re having a baby.”

“I’d hug and kiss you, but I think I’ll wait until your healthy first.”

I laugh, “I’ll hold you to it.”

************************************************************************

Boy am I ever glad that is over.

It took another week, but I’m finally able to get out of bed and feel normal. We’ll as normal as a pregnant woman can feel I guess.

I’m so milking this thing. I’m three months along and don’t feel different in the least, but I’m using this to my advantage. If I want something and don’t feel like getting up, I use the pregnant card. Hadley has picked up on this and is using it to her advantage too.

The boys are going to kill us before we even have the kids.

Currently we’re jetting off to Tennessee. It’s only two weeks until Thanksgiving and Trace’s birthday is right after, so we’re going home with our boys.

I’ve never seen Hadley more nervous than she is right now. From the look on Trace’s face right now, it must be what I looked like when I first made the trip out to Tennessee to meet the family.

She’s shitting bricks right now.

The plane touched down and the first stop we made was to the bathroom. Hadley blamed it on morning sickness, but it’s nerves, I can almost guarantee it.

Trace’s little brother, that I found out was far from little, standing at 6’1, picked us up from the airport. Where Trace got his shortness from is boggling my mind. I met his father last time we were out here and he was at least a foot taller than Trace.

Poor kid, he’s probably the paper boy’s child. He’s like a family of brunettes suddenly having a redhead brought into the mix. It just doesn’t fit quite right, but no one says anything about it. I’m sure that’s not the case, it’s probably something he got from his mother’s side.

But I digress.

Trace’s brother, Juan III, dropped Justin and I off at his parent’s house. This trip has already been very informative so far, finding out Trace’s real name was Juan topped the cake so far. I wonder what else I’ll find out about him on this trip.

Neither one of their parents know about the two of us being pregnant. Reason number one for our impromptu trip out here so early. Hopefully everyone will take the news well. The last thing anyone needs is a out of control parent.

I’d hate to be Hadley at the moment more than me though. She has to tell Trace’s parents not only is she pregnant, but they recently got married. In Vegas of all places.

Hell, I’m her best friend and I’m still pissed off about it. I can’t imagine what Trace, or Juan’s, parents are going to do. Her parents were so thrilled she settled down, they didn’t care about the whole eloping thing. They’ve always been really free spirited and pretty much let her do whatever she wanted within reason.

“Are you going to stand in the front yard all afternoon or are you two coming inside?” Lynn says from the doorway.

I laugh, shaking my head pulling my suitcase behind me, stopping at the bottom of the stairs.

“It’s so good to see you.” Lynn says pulling me in for a hug.

“How’s my son been treating you?” She asks, pulling away to grab Justin for a hug.

I laugh, sneaking a glance at Justin.

“You better say good or I’ll beat you when we get home.” He joked, kissing his mother on the cheek.

I laugh, “He’s been alright.”

He scoffs, “Who cleaned up after your sick ass the last two weeks?”

“Justin!” Lynn yells, smacking his shoulder, “Don’t talk to her like that.”

“You’ve been amazing, I was only joking.” I say kissing his cheek and walking into the house with Lynn.

“Oh, I’ll get the bags, don’t worry about it.” He yells after us.

Lynn and I laughed, walking through the house to the back yard. We sat down by the pool with a perfect view of Paul on top of the shed redoing the roofing.

“Why’s he on the roof?” Justin asks, sitting down beside his mother watching Paul with a concerned eye.

“He’s fixing the leak.”

“On the roof?”

I laugh, “That’s normally where the leak starts.”

He growled at me, “Ok, smartass, that’s enough out of you.”

“Why don’t you get up there and help him, that way it will get finished faster.”

“Yeah, sweetie, why don’t you get up there on that roof and get to fixing that leak.”

He glared at me, shaking his head, “I’m not getting on that roof.”

“Go help your father.”

“You better cry at my funeral.” He says, shaking his head the whole way over to the shed.

I laugh, “He’s such a baby.”

Lynn nods slowly, “So, how are you doing?”

I smile, “I’m doing really well actually. Everything with my dad’s estate is all figured out. I’m all moved in at casa de Timberlake. Victoria hasn’t tried to contact me since my dad’s will reading. I have two out of three of the clinics open. I should have the one in LA open within the next month.”

“That’s incredible.” She says with a smile, “But I asked how you were doing, not what you were doing.”

“I’m tired.” I answer honestly. “Everything has come and gone so fast lately, I haven’t been able to just sit and let it all set in. I mean I’ve had a few nights where all I could do was cry or stare at the ceiling just thinking about everything that’s happened.”

“I’m feeling a lot better about Matty and my dad’s deaths which is huge for me, but now I have this whole Hadley and Trace thing hanging over my head and I just don’t know how to deal with it.”

“What Hadley and Trace thing?”

I sigh, “I probably shouldn’t be the one to tell you about it.”

She smiles, “I’m going to find out eventually.”

I laugh, “Oh I know, I just think Trace would like to be the one to tell you, that’s all.”

She laughs, “What? Did he knock her up and now he’s going to marry her?”

I stare at her a little shocked, “You got it a little twisted.”

Her smile fades, “What do you mean?”

“They got married in Vegas a few weeks ago and she’s pregnant.”

Her eyes bulge out of her head, “They did what?”

“It was a shock to Justin and I too.”

“He didn’t even invite Justin?”

I shake my head, “I know it’s killing him, but he wont say anything about it to me. I don’t know what to do. I’m dying, knowing my best friend go married and I wasn’t there. I can’t imagine how Justin feels. I mean they’ve known each other since they were babies.”

“He has to be devastated.” She says sadly.

“I think he is, but he wont talk about it with me.”

She sighs deeply, “I can’t believe he’d do that.”

“I can’t believe she would. It’s not like them to just do it. I don’t know what got into them.”

“Sex.” Lynn says and I choke out a laugh.

“Don’t go corrupting the poor child, Lynn.” Paul says, walking up behind my chair.

I laugh, standing to hug him, “It’s good to see you. Roof all fixed?

“Yes, no thanks to piss and moan over here.”

I laugh, “Heights to much for you sweetie?”

“If you weren’t so cute…” He says, shaking his head at me,

I laugh, “You love me.”

He smiles, “That I do.” He pulls me against his side, whispering in my ear, “Can we tell them?”

I nod, thinking, isn’t that why we came?

“Hey, we have something we need to tell you guys.” Justin says, sitting down, pulling me on his lap.

I hope this goes well…

Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now.

I’m not really all that nervous about them knowing, it’s more that I’m nervous they’ll be upset that this happened so soon and we aren’t even thinking about getting married. I have to admit, marriage is the last thing on my mind and from what I’ve heard from Trace, Justin isn’t all that into the whole marriage thing either.

I never really thought about having kids, but here I am, sitting with my boyfriend’s parents about to tell them I’m having a child.

I kind of feel like I’m in bizarro world. Lately nothings been going the way I thought it would. I’m not complaining about any of it, I’m just a little shell shocked that I’m doing all these things that I just never thought I’d be doing.

I remember when I was younger, Matty and I would talk about our futures. Matty would always say he was going to be a ladies man and never settle down. That all changed the second he found out about Grady. His whole life changed in an instant and I really don’t think I’d ever seen him happier. Grady was Matty’s life, even though Matty never thought he’d have that kind of life.

I guess change is good, right?

Paul takes the seat next to Lynn, as she says, “If you’re going to tell me about Trace, I already know.”

Justin sighs, glancing at me. Apparently I shouldn’t have told her about that, because he’s not looking too happy about it.

“Don’t get mad at her for something Trace did. She’s upset and wanted to talk about it.”

He sighs again, “As much as I’d love to talk about Trace and Hadley, I have something else to tell you.”

“Wait, what’s going on with Trace and Hadley? Are they together?” Paul asks in total confusion.

Lynn shakes her head, “I’ll tell you all about it later, let’s just move on before they get upset again.”

“I’m going to get upset over it again.” Justin says, defending himself. I look at Lynn with an ‘I told you so’ look.

“Honey, What Trace did is inexcusable. It’s perfectly fine to be upset about it. You’ll feel a lot better if you just get out your aggression about it now before it bubbles up and you pop.”

“What do I have to be upset about?” He asks, getting angry.

“Justin, your mom is only concerned about you.” I say with a shrug, “I’m very angry with Hadley for what she did. I mean she’s supposed to be my best friend and she doesn’t even ask us to be witnesses at her wedding?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them and I hope this works out, but I’m still hurt that she could do this.”

“Do what?” Paul whispers to Lynn.

“Hadley’s pregnant and Trace decided it would be a good idea for them to get married while we were in Vegas.” Justin explains with a deep sigh.

“And the two of you were in Vegas at the time?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

He nods, “It’s their life, I can’t really be upset about the stupid decisions they make.”

I shake my head, “See what I mean?” I say to Lynn.

“What?” He asks, tilting my head towards his. I stand up from his lap, turning towards him.

“Can you honestly tell me that your not at all upset that your best friend from childhood got married without you there or without even telling you? Because if you are ok with it, then you’re not the man I fell in love with.”

“Fine, I’m upset! What do you want me to do cry about it? What goods that going to do?” He yells, standing up to pace the patio.

“I just want us to be able to talk about it.”

“That’s not going to change anything, so what’s the point?”

“Did you ever stop to think maybe I needed to talk about it?”

“You do. You cry, you yell.”

“And you roll your eyes and leave the room. You want nothing to do with any of this.”

He shrugs, “I didn’t have anything to do with it so why should I get myself all riled up about something I can’t fix.”

“Should we break this up?” Paul whispers to Lynn.

“No, let them work this out.” She whispers back.

“There’s nothing to work out, I’m dating a heartless asshole.” I say to them, before turning to walk into the house.

“Maddy!” Justin yells after me, but I just keep walking.

~*~*~

“What’s the matter with you?” My mom yells at me, smacking the back of my head.

“I don’t feel the need to talk about something that I can’t change. Talking isn’t going to change a damn thing so why do it?” I yell, getting more angry.

Yes, I’m upset Trace got married without me being there. Yes, I’m upset he didn’t even tell me about it first. But honestly, how is talking going to fix any of that? I’m upset with Trace for something that’s already been done. Talking about it isn’t going to change anything.

I’m not heartless, I just don’t see the point in getting all angry and upset over all of this.

What’s done is done. You can’t turn back time.

“You can’t even sit there and let her get out her frustrations? You’re supposed to be there for her when she needs you!”

“I am there for her!” I yell.

Ok so, maybe I haven’t been there for her on this aspect, but I have been there for her through a lot of other shit. This is just one of those things I don’t want to talk about. Did anyone stop to think that maybe this is how I want to handle this fucked up situation?

My best friend got married without me and he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.

I would love to punch a wall, but the only thing I’d accomplish there is breaking a few bones.

I would love to scream at the top of my lungs, but that’s only going to hurt my vocal cords and give me a sore throat.

Hell, I’d love to smack Trace upside the head, but even that wont get him to realize how bad he hurt me.

Maybe I’m just being stubborn, but I feel better just not talking about it.

Maybe that makes me selfish, but it’s getting me by just fine.

“Son, if there is one thing I could pass along to you, it would be how to deal with women.” My dad starts, “Lesson one, Get your ass inside and make things better with Madison. She’s in pain and your being very insensitive.”

“Lesson two, don’t ever yell at your mother. She gave you life, she deserves a lot more respect then what your giving her by yelling at her.”

I sigh, realizing my mom must have gone inside to check on Maddy. Shit, I hate it when she’s angry with me.

“Lesson three, if you want any relationship to work, you need to talk about your feelings whether you want to or not. When you hold back like this, it makes them think you don’t have feelings or that you don’t trust them.”

I drop down into the chair, “I really fucked up didn’t I?”

“You certainly did.” He pats my shoulder, “The good news is, I’m sure you still have time to fix this.”

“Thanks.”

We hug before I wander into the house in search of Maddy. I find her and my mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner. I stand outside the door listening to them talk.

“I know you’re right.”

“I usually am.” My mom says with a laugh, “He’ll come around, he just needs time to adjust to all of this.”

“I hope so.” She sighs, dropping the knife on the cutting board, “I just feel like I’ve laid all my feelings out on the table and he still has all of his bottled up.” she takes a deep breath, chewing on her bottom lip, “I guess it’s just me, but I feel like maybe I’m too much for him. I mean I’ve had a lot of issues since we’ve been together and I’ve told him every time I’ve felt sad or upset or angry about something.” she shrugs, “He doesn‘t do that and I‘ll just have to get used to that.”

“He’s always been very protective of his feelings. Growing up in the spotlight like he has makes you very cautious of what you tell people. He’s been burned too many times.”

She nods, looking more upset then before.

My mom picks up on it and sighs, “He loves you, but he has some serious trust issues that he needs to work out.” She smiles, rubbing Maddy’s shoulder, “If anyone is going to change that, it’s you.”

I can’t believe she feels that way. I’ve told her things only my family knows about me. I’ve opened up more to her than I have to anyone before. Yes, my mom was right, I have learned to be cautious about my feelings, but I’ve been pretty open with Maddy. Apparently not open enough though.

I turn the corner into the kitchen and they both turn to look at me. Dad walks in behind me, walking over to the counter to test out the sauce on the stove. Mom smacks his hand, shaking her head. Maddy went back to cutting the peppers and onions, obviously still ignoring me.

I sigh, “I’m sorry. To both of you.”

They both look up at me waiting for me to continue.

“I shouldn’t have yelled. I guess I’m more upset about all of this than I thought.”

Feelings, talk about my feelings…

“Not talking about all of this is how I’ve been dealing with it. I figured if I didn’t talk about it or think about it, I’d just forget that my best friend could do something like this without even a thought about how it would affect anyone else.”

“I’m hurt, but like I said before, talking about it wont change what happened.” I scratch the top of my head, “We didn’t come here to talk about Trace and Hadley.”

“No we didn’t, but I’m not so sure now’s the time for this.” Maddy says, glaring at me.

That hurt.

I pissed her off enough for her to not want anyone to know we’re having a kid together.

Awesome.

“What is it?” Mom asks, looking back and forth between the two of us.

“Maddy and I are…”

“Not talking about this right now.” She says interrupting me.

“Why not?” I ask, horribly confused.

“Can we talk first?” She asks, pulling me out of the room.

I follow her up the stairs and into my bedroom. She shuts the door behind her before walking over to the bed and taking a seat on the edge.

“What’s going on? I know your mad, but I’m not keeping this from my parents.”

“Your mom was glad it wasn’t us that was pregnant and married.” She whispers.

“She what?”

“She said she was just happy that the two of us weren’t having a baby or getting married. She thinks it wouldn’t be smart for us to put ourselves in that kind of predicament.”

“She said that?”

“Babies change lives, not always for the better.”

“She only said that because of my dad. He left when I was two and hasn’t really looked back.”

“She also said you and Trace vowed to never have kids or get married, but Trace seems to have broken that vow, but she’s glad you can stick to your guns.”

Well shit, I wasn’t expecting all this.

“Were you going to tell me that you didn’t want kids or where you just going to pay your dues hiding behind that wall you build in front of yourself?”

“Maddy, I’ve never wanted something more in my life.” I cup her face in my hands, “I love you and I want us to be a family.”

I lean forward, kissing her, “I’ve never been happier than I am right now.”

“Promise?”

I nod, smiling, “I promise.”

“So is that why your upset? I mean the two of you vowed to never get married, but he just runs out on a whim and does it behind your back.”

“Time changes things. He’s been engaged three times and I have once. We both just decided that it wasn’t meant to be so we figured we’d be those crazy old men that lived together until they died.”

“But know he’s got a wife and a child on the way.”

“So do I.” He says with a shrug.

“You have a child, but you can kick me to the curb whenever you want.”

“Not a chance. I lost you once, it’s not happening again, I can guarantee you that.”

There was a knock at the door before Mom poked her head in, “Is everything alright?”

I look at Maddy before turning back to my mom, “Maddy’s pregnant.”

Maddy gasps, her mouth flying open in shock.

“Well, that’s a surprise.”

“Justin?” Maddy whispers, tears threatening to spill in her eyes.

“I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you right now. I’ve never wanted anything more than to be a family with you and this little baby.” I stop to rub my hand over her belly, “You mean the world to me. This little baby growing inside you means the world to me.”

“I know Trace and I made some plans in the past, but if he can break them so can I.”

I kneel down on the floor in front of her, grabbing both of her hands in mine, “This is not how I wanted to do this. This isn’t even remotely romantic, but I love you and I want you to know how much I love you.”

“Wha…”

I smile, cutting her off, “I had this whole thing planned. We’d tell my parents, make sure Trace’s parents didn’t kill him, then I’d take you to the airport and fly you down to Miami.”

“I wanted to do this at your favorite spot in the world, but I guess it doesn’t really matter where or how I do this. I think the only thing that matters is that I want to do this. I want nothing more than to do this.”

“What are you doing?” She whispers, searching my face for answers.

I ignore her, rubbing my hands over her belly, “I want to give the two of you everything your hearts desire. I want to show you the world and I want us to be disgustingly happy together.”

I laugh to myself, “I never thought I’d do this in my old room.”

“What are you doing?” She asks again.

I reach in my back pocket, pulling out a ring, “I want you to wear this for the next sixty to seventy years.”

She sucks in a shaky breath, “Why?” She asks just above a whisper.

“Because I want you to spend the rest of your life with me.” I slide the ring on her finger and smile, “We’ve known each other for less than a year, so I know this isn’t something either of us are going to do in the next week, but I want you to know that I want to marry you. I want you to wear this saying that one day you’ll marry me. I don’t care if it’s not for years down the road, I just want to know that one day, you might.”

“You want to marry me?” She asks

“I want to marry you.”

“Wow.” she grins, “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“Neither did I.” My mom says from the doorway. “But I’m glad I did.”