I wanted you guys to see what I'm working with.

I like the idea of casting regular people for regular characters instead of celebs but, I thought Ethan and Ryan would be more interesting if I got the guys who physically inspired them that you all may know. :)

Uh, for any other characters introduced in the story, I'll post up the photos here as well...

Students of Higher Heights:

Delilah's Family: Mom, Dad & Brother

Justin's Circle:

Ethan's People:

Credit for most photos goes to: unspoken-pleasures.net/gallery

1. Trading Lives

January...

Somewhere in New York...

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I can't believe I signed up for this.

What the fuck was I thinking?

"Justin, we're here."

Turning to face my bodyguard Mike, I cringe. Not because we just reached our destination, but, because I can see a swarm of people already gathering around our jeep.

"Shit." I mutter, shaking my head in disdain. "I think I made a mistake Mike." I panic, turning to face the larger man but he simply smirks, killing the engine of the ride as a group of security guards come out of nowhere and circle around the ride like a protective shield.

"You wanted this, you got it Justin."

"But..."

"No buts dude. You need to do this for you and for everyone who's counting on you."

"Oh sure Mike, no pressure." I mutter sarcastically.

"Your mom is proud of you if that helps."

"Whatever." I brush him off before grabbing my book-bag and getting ready to depart his ride.

"Welcome to your new home for the next year Justin. Don't fuck it up ok? Do what you have to do. And try to go easy on the women here. They're not your regular Hollywood starlets. This was your idea remember that." Mike points out and I scoff.

If he thinks I'm going to practice abstinence for a year while I'm here, he's got another thing coming. I'm going to at least get something good out of this goddamn it.

Looking out at the large grounds of the boarding school I cringe again and swallow hard when I see a bunch of uniformed students looking on in awe and intrigue.

The security guards are blocking them from going any further and I can't help but wonder if they'll eventually mob me when the guards aren't here.

"Don't worry J. The headmaster spoke to them. All the students sighed contract agreements that they'll give you your space and treat you like another regular student at Higher Heights Boarding School. Now go. This will be a good experience for you." Mike gives me a light shove on my shoulder and I groan in annoyance, turning to look at him with pleading eyes.

"How did I get into this mess?"  I question and his mouth twitches into a smile.

"I recall a certain talk show and a certain fan calling you out and telling you that you wouldn't last one day living a regular life, going to one of the toughest schools in the country because you never had that experience growing up. He said you'd be lost without your handlers, fame and fortune and you who can't seem to resist a challenge, took him up on that offer on live television. What did you expect would happen Justin? The media wouldn't leave you alone after that so you had to go through with it by trading places with one of the students at this school for a year. You get to live their life, and they get to live yours."

"But how the fuck does that work Mike? The fucker is not me. He doesn't sing like me or look like me and it sucks that I only get to meet the bastard when this year is over."

"Well, he's going to get training with Trace for William Rast and Tennman. He'll do appearances and partake in everything you did. The only thing he won't be doing is the studio work and singing but you're covered for that. Just go." Mike spits, aggravated with my hesitation.

"What if I get mobbed? You won't be there." I panic, swinging the door of the ride open, only to be greeted by screaming prep girls. Just fucking great.

"You won't. Get out of my ride Justin. I'll see you when you get summer break. Bye."

With that said, Mike shoves me until my feet hit the pavement and I slam his door shut.

Standing awkwardly in front of the large boarding school gates with my luggage in tow I heave a sigh, waving at the few girls calling out to me.

I can't believe it; I'm going back to school for the next year. Me, Justin Timberlake.

I'm so stupid. I should have never answered that ‘school question' the way I did to the talk show host a couple months back.

They asked me if I had a chance to go back to school would I and I said ‘sure it would be a piece of cake compared to the life I'm living now.'

And, this one fan from the audience who actually went to this boarding school called me out on it.

Now, here I am, because stupid me couldn't keep my mouth shut.

I'm not even sure who I switched places with yet, but I'm sure I'll see his face on television sucking up and enjoying the good life, my life, which I miss already.

All I know is that his name is Henry Foxworth III.

Yeah, it's a suck-ass name. I hate it already. I hate him already and he hasn't even done anything really. He just better not drive my cars.

Since the school was at full capacity, the only option was to trade places with one of the students and since Henry was on his last year, it worked out great. He had no problem pushing that year back...little fucker.

Ugh! I hate this.

"Mr. Timberlake?"

Turning to my right at the sound of a shy feminine voice, I plaster a fake smile on my face, fixing my book-bag on my shoulder while I wriggle my legs in the black pants I'm wearing. These uniforms are atrocious! And I would know since I'm a fashion designer. Whoever thought of the black pants, dark blue blazer, white shirts and red ties needs to be shot dead.

"Hi?" I question, eyeing the girl suspiciously.

"Hi!" She beams, her short frame shifting uncomfortably under my gaze.

Smirking, I take in her short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She's kind of cute. Short, but cute.

"It's Justin by the way."  I smile, laying on the charm and she blushes.

Score one for me.

"I'm Cindy Carter and I'm your welcome committee. I was sent to help you get settled into your dorm room, show you around and get you to your first class which is two hours from now so we have time." She speaks up and a deep scowl graces my features.

"Hold up. Dorm room?" I swallow harshly. "As in sharing with other guys? I was told I would have my own apartment outside of here." I visibly shudder at the thought of living in a dorm room.

"Well, yes, you will, but your apartment is not ready yet, so you'll be staying on campus until it is. We'll let you know when you can move out so don't worry. Now, please follow me." She pipes up, whipping around with her clipboard in hand and I lean back a bit, lifting my hand to pass over my short head of hair.

"Great, these are going to be the longest months of my life before summer break." I mutter as I grab my luggage on wheels and follow her through the entrance gates of Higher Heights, the gawking females giving us enough space to pass.

Hmm, I guess Mike was right. They are going to give me my space here. Well, that's good.

"Your first class is Contemporary History, so I took the liberty of getting your three history books you'll be using. You also have calculus, physics and biology." Cindy mutters and all I can do is stare at her back, trying to keep up with her fast strides.

Great, this is going to be a nightmare. Who the fuck signed me up for these classes?

Oh right, I said something about wanting to do medicine didn't I? I'm so stupid. I should have just done art seeing as I'm an artist. That would be a piece of cake. You know what? I just might do that. I'm switching my major first chance I get.

As my eyes scan the large expanse of grass and trees in front of us and the few lingering students walking around, a small gasp escapes me when the large school comes into view. It has an old architectural style to it like nineteenth century London but we're still in America so...

"Nice." I mutter with a nod and Cindy steals a glance at me before letting out a content sigh.

"I know right? You'll like it here, just give it time." She voices and I roll my eyes.

I hardly think I'll like it here, but I'm not going to even voice that on my first day.

"Oh and we need to visit the headmaster's office. He thought pairing you up with a buddy for the first month or so would be good since you're new. It's so they can show you the ropes and whatnot. I'd do it but I'm too busy with all these other committees. I think you'll have Delilah Marshall since she's the only volunteer free now. We'll see." Cindy adds in and I growl under my breath.

This is just fucking fantastic. I don't want some random stranger following me around for the next month all up in my ass. No, I won't have that.

Again, I'm so stupid. Why oh why did I challenge that asshole on live television for the entire world to see?

And, my record label is eating this shit up too since it's getting me attention. They figure this is great publicity and gives my image an angle with the whole ‘Justin Timberlake is going back to school' bit. They said it would be good to keep my face out there and have the media checking up on me periodically since I have no plans of returning to the studio to make another album any time soon. Fucking executives.

If I'm lucky, this will only be a dream and I'll wake up from it shortly to find out that I'm still back in Cali at my home living the good life.

Unfortunately, I don't think luck's on my side for this...

2. Hi, Nice To Meet You...I Think

Sometimes, I wonder why I choose the people I do as friends.

And I say this with the strongest intent to drop the set I have now because it's been an hour of constant chattering and they're showing no signs of shutting up.

"So I heard he's here. He arrived this morning and he's off with Cindy touring the campus."

"No way! Oh my god, I can't believe the Justin Timberlake is going to our school. That's like, slapping wings on pigs and telling them to fly."

I can't help but roll my eyes slightly at my friend's analogy. She's a crazy one.

"Oh my god I know! It's like insane because all the girls are going to be all over him. Ugh, he's going to turn half the student body into sluts and pimps by the time this is over."

Groaning, I slam my book down on my desk and lift my head to glare at my two best friends.

"Really guys? You're serious? How in the world can you peg the man as some sex god without knowing a thing about him?" I question and both my friends eye me strangely.

"Uh, Delilah, he's Justin fucking Timberlake!" Michelle says in an obvious manner and I quirk a brow at her.

"Uh yeah! Enough said. You need to catch up more on your media gossip girl." Sandra pipes in and I groan yet again.

I need to get some new friends.

"Well excuse me if I don't care that some supposed hot superstar is attending our school for the next semester." I mutter and both Michelle and Sandra gasp with appalled expressions.

"Oh my god Delilah, you're like an alien or something. Damn." Michelle sniggers. "And for your information he's here for the whole year."

"Great." I mutter mindlessly, not caring as I continue reading my art book in silence. "Can you all please take your excitement outside? I need to study for my art exam tomorrow."

"Fine miss boring. Geez. We'll see you at lunch." Sandra mutters, brushing her pleated skirt before fixing her matching blazer with our school crest on the right pocket.

I give them a quick glance and wave them off as they make their way to my door.

"Fine, fine, bye girls!" I brush them off and a few seconds later I hear the door open and close.

Smiling, I lean back in my chair, thankful for the silence.

Looking out of my window, I catch a glimpse of the many students of Higher Heights walking about below heading in various directions as they go on with their day.

I'm actually happy that this is my last year. It's senior year and even if I haven't made any type of memorable name for myself since I've been here, I'm hoping that this year, that will change.

Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners? Hi, I'm Delilah Marshall and I was actually born in England but was raised in Boston.

There's not much to my life or family history. I have a mom who's African American and a dad who's a white English man and they are both in real estate and a brother who's going to Yale.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been drawn to art and started off at a young age in my coloring books as well as drawing little cartoon sketches to even making my own comic books. The very first comic book I made was called Delilah's world. I think the name kind of speaks for itself.

Since my parents only wanted the best for their little girl, they sent me here to get a start in fulfilling my dreams, so, I took up the art and music program but between the two, I'd say painting and sketching are my passions.

That's about all there is to know. Oh that and I'm the school's outcast...literally. Yes, I have two best friends, but even they are not as weird as I am. I'm not a pessimist, nor am I an optimist. I'm neutral if you will. I don't expect much and just take things as they come.

It's hard for me to let someone in and trust them because well, my high school days were spent being teased by the better looking kids.

No, I'm not exactly ugly, or a fat girl, but I have a little extra meat on my bones compared to the skinny girls walking around here. Eh, I'm comfortable in my skin. I don't stick out like a sore thumb, but I don't exactly fade into the shadows either. I don't know. All I know is, I can't wait to get my degree and then work on my dream of someday owning my own art studio.

But enough about me. I should really get back to my studying but alas, I can see that's not going to happen because there's a knock on my door.

Staring at the wooden barrier, I contemplate on pretending like no one's here but I cave when I hear Cindy Carter's voice on the other side.

"It's open Cindy."

Seconds later the door swings open and I'm greeted by a smiling Cindy who always looks like she's so busy she barely has time to stand in one place.

"Hey there volunteer." She beams brightly and I glare at her, not returning her smile.

"What have I been assigned to?" I ask, knowing where this is going.

Ok, so I only signed up as a school volunteer for any activities that were taking place at school to be a part of something, but now I'm starting to regret that. Whatever this is, it better not take out of my study time.

"Uh, well it's not exactly a school activity but since you're the only volunteer free at the time I thought it would be suiting?" She shrugs and I lean back in my seat, folding my arms across my chest.

"Spit it out Cindy."

"Well, uh..." She drifts, looking down at her clipboard, stalling. "I know that this isn't exactly what you signed up for but headmaster Williams thought it would be good for you. He wants you to show Justin Timberlake around for the next month and get him acquainted with this place. He's new, he came in today and we want him to have the best experience possible at Higher Heights."

I can feel a sudden dread wash over me.

"I didn't sign up for babysitting." I mutter but Cindy easily ignores me.

"Oh it will be good for the both of you. You'll be able to be more open and Justin will have a friend here. Listen, I really need to go. I'm head of the committee planning the spring dance and...look, he's here right now. Come out to meet him and here's his schedule. Could you show him to his first class please?" She begs and I know there's no getting out of this so I relent, groaning loudly in displeasure.

"Might as well." I mumble, standing from my seat with Justin's schedule in hand.

Gripping my text book and purse, I follow Cindy to my door deciding to head to the library to get some more study time in after I deposit the pop star at his first class.

"Great! Thank you so much Delilah." Cindy hums. On our way out of my dorm room she stops before opening the door to turn and face me. "Oh he's a little grumpy so, be careful with what you say to him." She whispers and I roll my eyes. As if.

"Sure, let's get this over with." I nod.

When she swings the door open and Justin comes into view, a deep frown slides over my light caramel face.

Seriously, he's what the girls here are drooling over? There are much cuter boys going to our school. I guess when you have the fame and fortune like Justin does anything goes right? Ok, that was mean. He's actually a very attractive guy, but whatever.

When he sees us, or more Cindy, he immediately straightens his posture, his eyes never even drifting in my direction.

"Are we ready to go?" He asks Cindy.

See? Like I said, I'm not totally invisible, but I sure don't stand out either.

"Actually, I forgot this thing I have with the spring dance committee, so Delilah is going to take over and show you to your first class. I really need to go. You all take care!" Cindy waves before starting to walk away and I see panic flash over Justin's face.

"Who the hell is Delilah?" He calls after Cindy but she already rounds the corner and disappears down the halls.

"I'm standing right next to you." I speak up and he finally slowly turns in my direction, his blue eyes scanning me quickly before a displeased scowl is plastered on his face.

"Are you the one who's going to be stalking me for the next month?" He spits rudely and I give him a bored expression.

"Are you the one everyone keeps going on and on about? Because really, I don't see what the big deal is." I counter and his eyes widen slightly in offence before he licks his lips, still eyeing me. He doesn't respond though...just stares. "And I prefer the term tour guide thanks."

"Huh." He huffs, fixing his book-bag on his shoulder.

"Listen Justin, you don't want to be here and frankly, I don't want to babysit you but it looks like we're stuck with each other. We don't have to be friends, but if you want to survive at Higher Heights, you might want to kill the attitude because like any jungle, you need to be cautious with the types of creatures you mess with especially in their habitat. Just a fair warning. There are students here who won't care about your celebrity status and will treat you equally. There are those who will worship the ground you walk on. And, there are those who will give you a harder time until they make sure you understand that you're not special or any better than them. I'd watch out for those. Now follow me."

Whipping around, I begin walking until Justin catches up to me and stops me, turning me around to face him.

"Are you always like this?" He asks with intrigue, a light smile gracing his features and I roll my eyes.

"Sometimes." I shrug and he nods, breaking eye contact with me.

"Well, I guess it's nice to meet someone who isn't easily impressed by my status...I think."

"Well, I guess I don't really care that much either way...I think." I retort and he lets out a soft grunt.

"It's nice to meet you Delilah." He decides after a moment of silence.

I'm a little surprised that he's ok with my brash behavior and I'm tempted to say it's nice to meet him too, but I'm not that easily impressed.

"Right, follow me. You don't want to be late for professor Scotland's history class. She'll make you pay dearly for it." I quip and Justin lets out a light chuckle as we begin our journey down the halls.

"I believe you." He snickers and I laugh softly, picking up my pace as my grip on my book tightens and silence falls between us.

Ok, so I know we just met, and I was dead set on hating the little bugger, but having him be the first person to make me smile and even laugh lightly for the day does not mean I like him either.

It just means that like everything else in my life, my feelings towards him are now neutral.

And that's usually how things stay so I'm ok with that.

I guess I won't have to worry too much about him giving me a hard time and when that month is over, I'll be rid of him and will be able to get back to just doing me...

3. First Day Nightmares

I hate it here.

I really fucking hate it here.

I can't think or say that enough.

Nothing good has happened to me here yet. In fact, everything seems to be going wrong.

And, Cindy is officially on my shit list for abandoning me, committee be damned.

Plus, can you believe they don't allow cell phones on campus? I mean seriously, it's the twenty-first fucking century yet when my cell phone rang this morning in Scotland's history class she had the guts to scold me for it. I told her I'd only be a minute seeing as it was Trace calling and I needed some form of normalcy out of this nightmare. Apparently talking back to her was also a big no-no.

She confiscated my phone.

She actually took my phone and told me I'd get it back at the end of the semester like I was some child she was dealing with.

On top of that, she gave me a twenty-five hundred word essay to write on the state of the economy and the whole recession issue taking place.

I mean seriously, what could I possibly say in over two thousand words about that? It's not like it's affecting me in any way as shallow and as ignorant as that may seem of me. I'm still financially stable. Ok I don't genuinely think that shallow. I'm just kind of ticked off.

I don't get these professors. It's like they have a pole permanently wedged up their asses.

Oh and get this. Apparently, my calculus professor thought it was fun to make me solve the very first problem he wrote up on the board after spending almost an entire hour explaining the mathematical theory or formula or whatever we were supposed to use to solve the damn equation.

I don't think I have to explain how embarrassing that was for me. The students weren't subtle about their amusement either.

I'm definitely switching my major to art first thing tomorrow.

My day in one word was terrible.

But, it's lunch time now and I've just strolled into the cafeteria.

Luckily for me, I don't have any more classes for the rest of the afternoon, but I do have to pay the headmaster a visit then head up to the dorm rooms. I've been putting that off for obvious reasons.

Oh yeah, and then there's my tour guide. I almost forgot about her.

She's a weird one and very bold and blunt.

She's nothing special really. She's average I guess.

Her name is Delilah something and while she's not a ‘looker' she's not hideous either. Like I said she's average. That's the best word I can use to describe her.

She has very light caramel skin and brownish mixed with grey eyes so I'm thinking that she's mixed.  She's about 5'7 in height which is also average and she's not exactly skinny but she's not fat either. Her hair is fairly long, about shoulder length, dark brown and plain like her.

The only thing about her that really stands out is her mouth. And I don't mean it's a physically attractive feature on her. I mean she's quite brusque with her comments and remarks and while I could tolerate it at the start, I'm officially annoyed with it now. It doesn't help that she's taken a liking to making fun of me for some reason.

You know what? It's whatever.

I can handle just about anything that's thrown at me here so bring it.

I know for a fact the student body wouldn't survive a day in my life.

Henry is probably begging to go home by now.

As I make my way over to the lunch line, my advances are cut short when one of the students walking by brushes me roughly in the shoulder, nearly causing me to lose my balance.

"Watch it pretty boy!" The guy hisses angrily and I frown in perplexity.

"You're the one who wasn't watching where you were going asshole!" I call out and I hear a few gasps around me.

Uh ok. Melodramatic much?

Before I'm even aware of what's happening, I have at least four guys standing in my face invading my personal space.

"What was that twinkle toes?" The same jerk who brushed me asks.

Ok, twinkle toes? That's the best he can come up with?

"Why don't you learn some coordination? That way you won't end up walking into people." I spit and a deep frown graces his face.

I'm not scared of him or his posse. This isn't middle school all over again for me. I'll be damned if I let them intimidate me.

"You know, you have some balls pop star. I don't know what little bet you lost to end up here, but I'm not buying your act." He spits condescendingly. What act? Is this dude for real right now? "Just because you're famous and rich or whatever, doesn't mean you're better than any of us here. It would do you well to remember that. And I think you need to remember to watch where you step from now on." He snaps, matching my stance.

Who does this guy think he is? Apart from the fact that we're about same height, he looks like a typical athlete on steroids. His spiky blonde hair isn't helping much with his lack in attractive male features either. What a jackass.

Before I can open my mouth to respond, Delilah comes into view, her eyes wide and filled with horror.

"And we were just leaving. Move along girls." She mutters to them, gripping my hand and hauling me away from the foursome.

"Typical that Delilah would be the one to save you pop star. You've really downgraded huh? I guess you're nobody without your crew here to sing your praises."

"The fuck is this dude's problem?" I mumble about to turn and curse the dick out but Delilah keeps a firm grip on my hand, giving me a light pinch for effect which totally sways my attention. "Ouch! Are you insane?" I snap, glaring at her. I can't understand how she could just ignore them when clearly the asshole just dissed her.

"Not nearly as much as you who must have a death wish." She groans, still hauling me along.

By now, the little group is long gone and the few spectators we encountered have long scattered to continue on with their business.

Chewing the inside of my cheek nervously, Delilah finally releases her hold on me when we get to one of the dining tables.

"Sit." She orders and I do just that, only now realizing that there are two other girls in our midst silently gawking at me.

I ignore them for the most part because I'm used to the star-struck stare by now. What I'm more interested in is the annoyed glare Delilah's shooting my way.

"Who was that clown?" I finally ask after a moment of silence.

I gaze down at her lunch tray and smile lightly when I see that all she has on it is a bowl of cereal and milk. "Eat much? Interesting lunch choice by the way." I chuckle, earning another death glare from her.

"Look Justin, I don't know how you do it in superstar land..."

"Superstar land?" I cackle, getting more comfortable in my seat.

"Yes well...I don't know how you do it where you're from but this isn't your little bubble of a world anymore Justin. This is the toughest school in the country and I can assure you, you'll not survive it if you go around picking fights with the jocks which can earn you a suspension or expulsion if you don't end up dead." She groans angrily before digging into her cereal.

I knew they were jocks...typical.

She's such a drama queen.

"You know, you're making it exceedingly difficult to like you Delilah." I say with a smile on my face and she mutters some incoherent phrase before stealing a glance at her friends who are completely mute.

"I'm not trying to make you like me. I'm only doing my job."

"Your job huh? So I'm a job to you?" I question, my smile never faltering as I enjoy her irritation.

"Yes, and it'll be a lot harder to do if you're dead Justin. This is serious. Don't mess with the jocks ok?"

"Who were those clowns though?" I ask again.

"The guy you were talking smack to was Ethan Landing. He's the captain of the basketball team. His dad's into politics and his mother is in the catering business. His parents donate a fair share to this school every year so he thinks he has ranks or whatever. Look, just don't mess with him or his friends ok? They're bad news." Delilah explains and I nod, shrugging the incident off, suddenly not caring.

I'm way too cool for this place anyway. Yeah, I'm a little cocky but can you blame me though?

"Well in that case, my hero." I muse, grinning brightly and she rolls her eyes at me before a small smile twitches into the corners of her mouth. It vanishes as quickly as it appears but I spot it, and that only makes my grin widen.

"Don't you have something you should be doing?" Delilah asks when I continue staring at her, trying to figure her out. She's a tough one to read.

Hmm, I wonder how old she is. I'll have to ask her.

"Eating lunch? I was joining the line until my little encounter and you dragged me away."

"Oh, right. Well, I'm just about done." She announces, barely having touched her cereal and I frown but say nothing. "I can bring you to this quaint little café just off school campus if you'd like to go."

"Sure, I'm down." I cheer up a bit.

"Ok, oh and these are my two best friends Michelle and Sandra." She adds in and I wave to the two girls who seem to be silently freaking out by my presence.

Michelle's a blonde and Sandra's a brunette. They're both hot in their own way and I think, if they're going to be around more often, I just might start liking it here at Higher Heights.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's get going." I suggest, standing up and all three girls follow suit.

"Oh and one more thing Justin." Delilah speaks up, diverting my attention.

"Shoot."

"If you think I'm always going to be there to save you then you have another thing coming. Try not to get into too much trouble ok?" She pleads.

"But what kind of stalker would that make you if you weren't always around?" I joke, laughing softly.

"Cute is not your forte my friend. Stick to your day job." Delilah jibes and my laughs die out as I glare at her.

"Nice." I mutter sarcastically, our little banter interrupted by her giggling friends as we make our way out of the cafeteria.

*****

Hours Later

Today has been the longest most annoying day of my life. I'm glad that it's finally coming to an end.

I can't help but still regret getting stuck here. I'm so out of my element.

There's a reason why I never finished school and instead went on to be a superstar and make millions.

School is clearly not for everyone but I'm not going to lose this challenge so I can't quit now.

I feel alienated from the outside world.

My life isn't my life anymore. I miss my Ma, Trace, Rachel and even my dogs. I miss being in the studio and almost being mauled by screaming fans.

But none of that matters now. I asked for this and this is now my life for the next year so I might as well suck it up.

I guess it's not so bad.

I mean, I actually had fun with Delilah and her friends this afternoon when we headed out of school.

They're not so bad.

Ok, who am I kidding? I'm totally digging Michelle and Sandra. I'm actually trying to figure out which one I like more to ask out.

But that's the least of my worries right now.

I was assigned a dorm room for god knows how long and while I find the idea of living in a dorm room unsuitable, I'm going to have to deal.

This would probably explain why I'm finally standing in the hallway of the male dorms in front of my assigned room which I'll be sharing with...

"Ryan Mathews....hmm." I utter, reading my assignment card.

Well, here goes nothing.

Gripping the door knob, I twist it and push the door open before scanning my new surroundings and walking inside with my luggage in tow.

Not bad, not bad.

Before I can fully absorb my surroundings though, my roommate comes busting out of his closet with a towel wrapped low around his waist and a change of clothes in his hand and I cringe slightly in disgust, realizing that I'm never going to get used to that.

He needs to cover up those almost-nonexistent-snow white abs of his. How revolting.

As if on cue, we lock eyes with each other and realization washes over both of our faces.

Shit, he's one of those guys who circled me in the cafeteria with that Ethan dude today. I'm assuming they're friends. Just fucking great. What are the odds?

How awkward.

"Aw man, you've got to be kidding me." Ryan grunts, clearly disappointed.

Hey, I'm not exactly ecstatic about this pairing either buddy.

"Look man, just stay out of my way and we shouldn't have a problem." He adds in and I smirk, casually strutting in before slamming the door shut behind me.

"Don't worry, it's not like I deem you as good company to be around anyway." I snap back before walking over to the bare side of the room and sheet-less mattress to drop my belongings.

You know what? I think it's safe to say that I'm officially, without a doubt, in hell on earth.

4. Art Anyone?

A Week Later

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Jumping in shock, I nearly drop my paint brush surprised to see Justin taking a seat next to me in art class.

"Have we reversed roles? Are you stalking me now?" I question and he chuckles like a fool.

"You're not very good at this tour guide thing. I'm usually the one seeking you out. I haven't been to the west wing of the campus yet. Think you can take me over there after class? I wanted to check out the library."

"Uh...yeah sure." I mutter, arching a brow as he prepares his canvas and painting utensils.

Hmm, what does he know about art besides the musical side of it?

Studying him closely, I can't help but cackle at what he did to his uniform. That man I tell you. Apparently, individuality is important to him.

His blue blazer is rolled up to his elbows, he's actually wearing matching dark blue jeans with it and sneakers and his white undershirt is overlapping his pants. He's not even wearing his tie. His short dark brunette hair is perfectly groomed and he's wearing a pair of spectacles today I've never seen him wear before. But, then again, he's only been here for like a week so...it suits him. He actually looks studious...

"See something you like?" Justin chuckles and I quickly snap back to reality.

"You're going to get in trouble for violating the uniform dress code." I point out, ignoring his question.

Smirking, he looks down at his attire, a confident grin spreading across his face. "Na, I'm me, I own my own clothing line. What's the worse they could do?" He voices and I groan.

He's clearly not getting the concept of following school rules yet, but he will, soon...

"Justin, I'm sure you can dress around the uniform rules if you wear all parts of the uniform. You're not wearing the pants or tie. That's a clear violation. If I were you, I'd change right after class before someone reports you to headmaster Williams." I whisper since our professor just walked into class.

"Delilah..." Justin begins, resting his large hand on my thigh. "You worry too much." He grins but I don't smile back.

I give him a look that says ‘touch me again and you die' and he easily reads it because he retracts his hand faster than the speed of light.

Shifting in his seat, he breaks eye contact with me and clears his throat awkwardly and I finally smile, diverting my attention to the front of the class.

"What do you know about art anyway?" I whisper again to him, my eyes never leaving our art professor as the class sits in a circle around the room with each student's canvas planted in front of them.

"Sweetie, I was born an artist. You'll see." Justin says proudly and I roll my eyes as professor Hilda sets up the new model we'll be painting in class today.

I have no idea what Justin did to end up in art class, but I know that when it's over he'll be less than pleased.

*****

"I mean I knew art could be challenging but that was ridiculous." Justin laughs, fixing his book-bag on his shoulder.

"You actually did pretty well for your first painting. I don't get why you didn't just sign up for the music program." I say, walking beside him as we stroll down the large halls towards the west wing of the campus.

"Oh I did. I just thought I'd challenge myself a little more by taking at least one art class since music comes to me like second nature."

"But are you sure music is what you should be doing though? You're already doing it for a living. I mean, this is your second chance at school. Isn't there anything else that interests you that you'd like to learn about?"

He turns to look at me briefly before releasing a shrug. "Not really. I mean, I have worldly knowledge from traveling the world and there isn't anything I can learn in here that I can't learn outside. I'm just trying to make this experience as painless as possible." Justin explains and I shake my head, kind of understanding.

"Ok I guess."

"Eh, it is what it is. I was thinking about trying out for the basketball team though." He pipes up and I groan.

"Bad idea Justin." I mutter.

"You know Delilah, would it kill you to maybe not cut me down all the time?" He spits and I glare at him, noting his aggravated stare.

"No, I wasn't trying to...look, you remember Ethan right?" I voice and Justin rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"What about him? It's bad enough I got stuck with his friend Ryan as a roommate." He adds in and my eyes widen in shock but I keep quiet.

I didn't know that! He failed to mention that! The last thing I need is Justin knowing about my history with that particular group of friends. I'm kind of happy that Justin is clueless to my history here in school. Obviously, we haven't been in any situations for him to realize that I'm an outcast or anything so I'm happy about that. I'm just not sure how long that will last.

I'll just pretend like he didn't say anything.

"Uh hello! Ethan is captain of the basketball team. If I were you I'd stay as far away from them as possible. You clearly don't understand the hierarchy in this school." I shake my head at him, almost feeling sorry for his clueless self.

"And who made this hierarchy Delilah? I'm pretty sure it wasn't the headmaster or professors. See, that's the thing with you students. The jocks don't always have to hang with the jocks. The science geeks don't have to stick together and just because you're not deemed popular and cool by the rest of the school doesn't mean you couldn't be exactly that. But I guess you guys will figure that out when you're shoved into the real world." He voices surely and I can't say I disagree.

He's right. And, he most certainly has that real world experience that the rest of us don't have. In fact, it kind of makes him more mature than us even if you'd not see it with the way he's been acting.

"How old are you Justin?" I question and he laughs softly just as we make it to the library.

"I need to remember that you're not one of my fans who probably has my birth date, place and time of birth engraved in your memory." He chuckles and I smile, waiting for his answer. "I'm actually turning twenty-six at the end of this month which makes me kind of old to be here. But I don't mind." He mutters and I quickly shake my head in protest.

"Actually, you're a good age because this school offers as high as PHD's and we have like twenty-eight year olds and people pushing thirty going for their highest degree. It depends on what you want to do and what major you choose. It's a very diverse, flexible boarding school. Sort of new age if you will." I say.

"Cool, so how old are you then?" He questions, his voice lowering as we stroll through the massive library stocked with shelves and shelves of books from all centuries.

"Twenty-three. I don't turn twenty-four until summer. I'm a youngin'" I titter and he nods, a soft laugh escaping him.

"Ah, I remember being that age. It was wild." He whispers as we find a table at the far back to sit.

"Justin that was about three years ago for you. Stop acting like you're this old dude." I giggle.

Wow, I actually giggled. I don't giggle.

"Yeah well..."

I dump my books on the table before us and begin pulling out the ones I need to read and catch up on while Justin stretches out his limbs and begins digging through his book-bag to get some of his homework done.

"Wow, this is weird for me, having to do homework. How odd." He mutters and I laugh loudly earning a few 'shushes' from the students around us who by the way are not subtle with their staring and gawking due to Justin's presence.

But, he seems to be ignoring the attention so it's no big deal I guess.

"You'll get used to it."

"I don't think so." He groans while opening his art history book. "There's no getting away from history no matter what form it comes in." He sighs, flipping through the pages. "And, I need to call home and check in with my best friend Trace and my mom but stupid Scotland took my phone. What a biatch." He says softly and I snort, trying to stifle my laughter.

"Cells aren't allowed on campus because they're distractions for students with all the new technology but, they do give us weekends to call home so all you have to do is ask Scotland on the weekend and she can't say no. It's part of the rules. By right, we're supposed to return all cell phones to the head boys and girls of our dorms when we're done, but most people keep their phones. As long as headmaster Williams doesn't get a complaint or is made aware, you're safe." I explain and a light smile graces Justin's face by that fact.

"Cool."

"Uh huh."

"So what's going on with you? What's your history here are Higher Heights? I don't mean to sound rude but your two friends Sandra and Michelle are nothing like you." Justin states and I groan, not wanting to answer that question.

"Can we wait to leave the library to talk? We really should be quiet and getting some work done while in here." I whisper and he shrugs.

"Whatever. But you're going to tell me eventually Delilah, because I just can't seem to figure you out."

"Looking forward to it." I fake a smile and he chuckles.

If I can get through the year without Justin knowing much about me, then that's what I'm going to do.

"Hey there cool cats!"

Justin and I turn at the sound of Cindy's soft voice who slides into an empty seat, joining us at our table.

"Hey Cindy." Justin smiles and I nod in acknowledgement.

"Hey Justin. Are you settling in ok?" She questions.

"Yeah, I'm straight."

"What's up Cindy?" I inquire because I know her looks. And the look she's giving us now, I know she's going to sprout about some activity that she needs our help in.

"So, we're short helping hands for the spring dance coming up in two weeks and I was hoping that maybe one of you or both of you would like to help out with decorating and so on? It'll look good on your school records." She says hopefully, looking at Justin and me.

"Sure. Delilah and I will do it. Count us in." Justin blurts out without giving me a chance to respond.

My eyes widen in disbelief as I glare at him, ignoring Cindy's excited claps before she's on her feet again.

"Great! That's wonderful! I'll put you two down. Well, I've got a lot of work to do. Take care. Bye!"

And just like that she's gone, disappearing out of the library and I'm still glaring at Justin who's oblivious to what he's just done.

"I don't do dance committees Justin."  I finally speak and he frowns in confusion.

"Oh come on Delilah it'll be fun. It's a new experience for me too."

"No, I don't do dance committees and I certainly don't do dances." I reiterate. He has no damn clue how disastrous this could be for me.

"So you're not going to the dance?" He asks, slight disappointment washing over his face. "But, you're like the only person I really know here...you have to go...because I'm going and you have to go so we can hang you know?"

"Ugh, you're pathetic Justin. You can make friends in two weeks to go with."

"But..."

"Can't you just accept that I'm not going? Damn it!" I hiss, about to gather my books to leave but he stops me.

"Is it because you don't think you'll get a date? Because hello, I'm sitting right here." Justin muses but I ignore him.

That's part of it. The other part is the vow I made to myself to never partake in these things again after the experiences I've had.

"That's sweet and all Justin but...just no ok? Can you please drop it so we can actually get our work done? That's why you wanted to come to the library right?" I whisper this time when I notice that we're attracting unwanted attention.

He huffs and rests back in his seat, clearly displeased with me. I don't see why. Like I said, I'm not trying for us to like each other or be friends. I'm just trying to get this month over with so I can be rid of him. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and all, but the last thing I want is to make friends with someone I'm never going to see or speak to again after the end of the school year.

"Fine. I'll drop it...for now. But you're not off the hook missy." Justin warns and I roll my eyes, ignoring him for the most part.

That is, until we're interrupted by the head boy of Justin's dorm, Manny Fitzgerald. He's what you call an overachiever. He's not bad looking either with his brunette hair, tall build and brown eyes. But, he's still a nerd.

"Excuse me, Justin?"

Manny taps Justin on his shoulder to grab his attention.

Turning in his seat, Justin gives him a bored expression.

"What's up head boy?" Justin inquires.

"It's Manny, and I'm here to insist that you change your attire back to the regular uniform or I'm going to have to report this as a violation of the dress code." Manny says firmly.

"You're shiting me?"

"No Justin. I'm not." Manny scowls.

"But I own my own clothing line. This uniform thing is stifling to one's individuality you know." Justin counters rudely and I shake my head in amusement.

"Yes well, that's great and all but as long as you attend this school, the rules apply to you also and that includes the uniform dress code. I'm letting you off with a warning. But as soon as you leave here, I suggest you change your attire. That is all. Carry on."

With that said, Manny struts away leaving Justin stunned speechless.

"Can you believe that kid? Who hired the fashion police?" Justin tells me with a large grin on his face.

"I told you so." I state, laughing lightly.

"You did. I guess I should listen to you more huh Lilah?" Justin chortles and I pretend like he didn't just call me Lilah instead of Delilah.

"Can we please do our work now?" I plead causing Justin to raise his hands in defeat while still laughing.

"Yes mam."

5. Yes or No?

January...

About Two weeks later...

"Hey Lilah! I've got the coolest story to tell you!"  I call out excitedly, swinging her dorm room door open and strutting inside.

Bad idea.

"What the fuck!? Justin don't you knock? Get out!" She screams and my eyes widen when she comes into view only wrapped in a large white towel.

"Oh shit." I snort, biting my bottom lip as I remain frozen in place, my eyes traveling over her frame. Damn she's got some pale ass legs.

"What the hell!? Get out...out!" She snaps with a horrific stare on her face.

"I'm sorry I..." Before I can finish my apology, she has a firm grip on my shoulder pushing me backwards and my mind suddenly drifts to the possibility of her towel falling since she's not holding it in place right now.

"Out!"

"I'm trying to apologize...I didn't know you were..."

"Save it Justin. Out! I'll be out in a minute!" Delilah hisses, swinging the door open and shoving me out into the hallway.

Before I can get another word in the door slams shut in my face and I cringe, taking a few steps back to rest against the adjacent wall.

"Huh, I guess I should have knocked." I chuckle to myself lightly as I post up against the wall waiting patiently for her to exit fully dressed and ready for us to go.

Damn, she said she was ready when I called.

I should have known in girl time that meant she was just getting out of the shower.

Oh by the way, I hate the whole shower setup here. Apparently, the dorms are too small to hold personal bathrooms so there are public bathrooms on each floor of each dorm.

Strutting into the bathroom seeing a bunch of guys practically naked is not my idea of a fun school experience but I'm dealing with it. I usually shower at times when I know not many people will be in there. I'm not exactly looking for some jerk to take my picture so he can try selling it on eBay to the highest bidder.

But anyway back to Delilah.

You know, it's against school rules for the guys to be in the girls dorms and vice versa without permission but I'm taking my chances because it's night time and the hallways are practically deserted.

Everyone is at the basketball game right now rooting for their school and I'd be there as well if Delilah wasn't such a girl. We were supposed to be there at least ten minutes ago. I'm sure they've started the pre-game warm-ups already.

But hey, I told her we'd go together so I can wait.

My art of persuasion is the only thing that got her to agree to tag along.

Apparently basketball games are also on her ‘things I don't do' list.

She's turning out to be quite the social outcast.

You know, the more time that passes, the more curious I become about her.

Delilah Marshall is a mystery to me.

Just the other day I was trying to get her to tell me a little bit more about herself, her life, her history and she dodged just about every question I asked except letting me in on the fact that she had an older brother going to Yale.

That was about it.

We were actually in the gym with the spring dance committee helping them set up the decorations for the dance tomorrow night so there were a lot of distractions.

I couldn't really push her to tell me anything at the time, but soon, I'll learn what I need to know about her.

I mean, I'm only interested because I think Delilah is a cool girl. I like her.

She's like the female best friend I never had aside from Rachel who's my cousin.

We get along really well, though sometimes I think that I really annoy her and push her buttons.

I still think that we have the potential to be really good friends and I'm hoping that when my time here at Higher Heights is up, we'll still be able to be friends and stay in contact with each other.

I'm not going to lie.

I came here a free agent only because my supposed girlfriend Jessica had trust issues with me for some reason.

She didn't think that I could survive a year without cheating on her while being surrounded by boarding school girls.

Women and their trust issues I tell you.

We had a huge fight about it too before I left. I mean I told her it wasn't like I was going to fall in love and marry any of the girls. I told her I'd have the entire summer off. It wasn't going to be a straight year, but no, she didn't want to hear it.

So, we decided to take a break.

According to her, depending on my experience here, it will determine if she and I have a future together.

I hated her for pulling that shit and for putting me through so much because I loved her and still do, but surprisingly I'm doing really well now.

I'm not sure what that says about me or our paused relationship but I'm not going to dwell on it.

My thoughts are interrupted when Delilah struts out of her dorm room fully clothed in jeans and a plain blue top.

Oh yea, apparently, we're actually allowed to dress casually when we attend school events like basketball games, fund raisers and so on.

That's why I'm in jeans, sneakers and a white t-shirt.

I don't know...the school is backwards or something.

"Took you long enough." I mutter. "I've been out here so long I practically recited all of William Shakespeare's plays in my mind." I muse, knowing that she hates when I talk about literature. Apparently, she hates the subject. Go figure.

"I've only been in my room for like ten minutes after you barged in." Delilah counters with a huff.

"Which makes us about twenty-five minutes late for the game. Come on." I grip her hand and pull her along with me.

"You're lucky I didn't physically hurt you for that stunt you pulled back there." She says softly and I smile as we stroll down the hallways to the exit of the dorms.

"What stunt?" I ask innocently and she laughs.

"I'll let it slide this time but don't press your luck. Imagine how much trouble you'd be in if you were caught. So, what was so important that you nearly walked in on me naked?" She inquires nonchalantly and I'm tempted to make a smart remark about her ‘naked comment' but I refrain.

"I spoke to the coach earlier today and he told me I could come in anytime after the dance when the gym was clear to try out for the basketball team. Isn't that cool? I always wondered what it would be like to really play basketball for my school and now I'm getting the opportunity to. And don't worry about the other jocks. They don't scare me in the least."  I say excitedly, turning to watch Delilah and her expressions.

She doesn't seem happy or even pleased as we walk side by side, exiting the dorms and heading in the direction of the school gym where the big game is taking place.

All the decorations are up for the dance except those that will take up the court space since the team needs the court to play tonight. We're planning on putting the finishing touches tomorrow when we have a break from class before the dance itself.

"You have to actually make the team first Justin." Delilah finally supplies, her voice low and unsure.

"You don't seem happy for me." I frown.

"No, no I am I just...you know...good luck." She voices, turning to lock eyes with me, giving me a small smile.

Well, it's not much but I guess I'll take it.

"Thanks." I grin, confident of my playing skills.

The cool thing about being part of the team is getting to play with guys that might actually make it to the NBA. Those that are on basketball scholarships that is. The NBA usually drafts players from the top school teams in the country and from the research I've done, Higher Heights has a pretty sweet record of winning past championships. Plus, they're one of New York's top boarding schools with the highest grades. It just sucks that we're located in the rural area out in the middle of nowhere. You'd never say we're in ‘the big apple.'

Anyway, the team also known as ‘Eagles' didn't win last year, but I'm rooting that they'll win this year with me hopefully being on the team to have that experience with them.

I'm not surprised they chose the name they did for their team. I mean their slogan is ‘soaring to higher heights.' It makes sense. Plus their mascot is an eagle. No surprise there...

The moment Delilah and I burst through the entrance doors of the gym, a slew of chattering and cheering engulfs us.

The gym is brightly illuminated and the bleachers are filled with students and faculty.

I can see the school team in their blue basketball uniforms in a circle on the side of the court getting their pep talk before the game starts.

The opposing team from the other boarding school is in red and on the opposite side of the court, also getting their words of encouragement from their coach.

Wow, this really does feel like school life to me now.

This definitely isn't courtside seats at a Lakers game but strangely enough I feel more excited here in this atmosphere.

"We should probably grab a seat before the game starts!" I shout over the noise to Delilah who's standing awkwardly silent next to me, her eyes wide and scanning the many faces in the crowd.

"Ok!" She replies about to lead the way but I stop her briefly remembering there was something else I wanted to tell her.

"Hey! You never told me if you made up your mind about the dance. It's tomorrow night you know!" I voice to her, watching her intently.

The school has some tradition thing about having themed dances in different seasons. For example, we're in winter and they're having a ‘spring dance.'

I'm not questioning it though. It's whatever. I've already decided that this school is weird.

Delilah's face creases into a frown and I wait patiently for her answer.

"Justin I don't think..."

"Come on Lilah! It'll be fun. Live a little. You're too uptight. Listen, I've been making some new friends and they asked me to come with them, but I told them I'd only go if you agreed to hang with us. I haven't gotten a chance for all of us to hang out together, but if you come to the dance you'll meet them. I'm sure you already know them. You're my deciding factor Lilah. Don't make me miss the dance, please!" I plead, giving her a cheeky grin and she flashes me a disbelieving glare.

"You're making me decide whether you go and have fun or not?"

"Pretty much!" I shout back when the crowd begins to cheer as both teams take the court with the referee. "Come on Lilah. Yes or no?"

"Justin I told you I don't..."

"Yes or no Lilah!"

"Justin..."

"Yes or no! It's easy. Just tell me yes you'll go to the dance, or no you won't go. But beware that you're answering for the both of us."

Guilt trips can be very effective if executed correctly.

"Well since you basically said I'd ruin your night if I didn't go..." She hesitates and I smile, gripping her hand to lead her towards the bleachers so we can take a seat and watch the game.

"Is that a yes or no?" I question, ignoring the stares we receive from the other students when they notice us making our way towards them.

They're pretty much gawking at us, or more me, but I'm used to it. I've only had a few encounters with some of the girls here. For the most part, people leave me alone and I like it that way.

Delilah and I quickly find a seat but before I can place my full attention to the game taking place on the court before us, I turn to face her for her definite answer.

"Yes or no Lilah?" I whisper since we're sitting closely.

She looks at me for a good moment, her gray-browns piercing my blues as she ponders her answer with apprehension on her face.

I know she wants to scream a massive, irrevocable ‘no' but instead she caves, shaking her head in disdain before uttering a soft ‘yes' which I hear clearly.

"Sweet." I beam with triumph, ignoring her supposed pained expression of actually relenting.

I easily put my focus on the game, pushing against her to bounce her shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Don't worry you'll have fun. I promise. It's not suicide like you probably peg it to be." I assure her and she laughs lightly beside me, responding seconds later.

"I hope so Justin...I hope so..."

6. To Dance Or Not To Dance

I can't believe I let him talk me into this.

Oh my god what was I thinking?

This is unacceptable.

I don't do dances or basketball games but Justin managed to drag me to the game the school had last night, so, it only makes sense that I'm here now...at the spring dance...where I don't want to be.

And by the way, who has a spring dance in January in the middle of winter when spring begins in March?

It hasn't been very cold for the past few weeks though because of the change in climate. The weather's weird.

But you know it's a tradition at this school, to push dances up like a season. People usually just go with the flow. Why? Because we have summer break from May and everyone usually wants a summer dance before they head home for the holidays.

The school can't throw back to back dances since for each dance funds need to be raised and budgets met. So, around spring time, just before schools are let off for summer break, we have a summer dance. The same goes for winter. We have our winter dances in fall since there's no need for a fall dance after just returning from summer break.

It's confusing, but, people seem to like it.

Thank goodness the entire school is heated and we're sheltered from the outside cold. I could actually walk out with regular clothes since it's not very cold to begin with but the warm temperature indoors is better.

That way we're able to still dress in our uniforms without worrying about winter wear unless we have to go outside.

This would explain why I'm wearing this stupid, short, sleeveless blue dress which is cute and all, but so not me.

It was Sandra and Michelle's idea.

Ugh, sometimes I hate my friends.

They usually hang with Justin and me whenever they get time.

Our little group has become practically inseparable, but for some reason those two girls I call my best friends insist that there's a possibility that the superstar might like me a little more.

It was an asinine suggestion and I made sure they knew it was too.

Plus, I think Justin has a thing for Sandra.

But all that's irrelevant now.

I'm here, standing next to the punch bowl in the gym, looking at all of the students enjoying themselves on the dance floor and off in their cliques.

We did an awesome job with the decorations by the way. The gold, green and brown color scheme is very nice and brings out the colors of spring.

I'm never signing up for any dance committee ever again.

I feel out of place...awkward. It's been years since I've been to a dance for this school and my last experience wasn't pretty but I digress.

I wasn't oblivious to the surprised and shocked expressions on people faces when I walked in with Sandra and Michelle earlier.

Everyone thought for sure I'd never show my face at a school dance again.

I have Justin to blame for this one. He better make sure that I enjoy my night like he promised.

Where is he anyway? We promised we'd meet each other here but there's no sign of him yet.

 I swear I'll strangle him if he doesn't show his face soon.

Sandra and Michelle have long left me alone to mingle...bitches. Eh, I still love them.

"Well, well, well...isn't this a surprise."

Wincing, I slowly turn to my right meeting eyes with my least favorite person at this school.

"Ethan." I mutter, rolling my eyes.

"This is quite a change for you Delilah. I didn't think you'd ever come to another dance or basketball game again. But, if I recall, I saw you seating in the bleachers last night with your superstar right?" He questions casually, his blues piercing my gray-browns.

"Whatever...I figured it was time for a change. I couldn't hide in a shell forever like you probably hoped I would." I snap and he smirks, sipping on whatever drink he has in his hand. I'm betting it has alcohol in it which is against school rules. Then again, the rules never applied to Ethan and his friends.

"It's interesting to me. How'd the star get stuck with you anyway? He must not know about you. If he did, I don't think he'd even want to be seen with you in public." Ethan jeers and I swallow hard, turning away from his piercing gaze.

Come on Justin, where are you?

"Leave me alone Ethan." I hiss. "And he didn't get stuck with me...I got stuck with him...volunteer work. Don't worry. You won't see us hanging out for much longer. I'll just pretend like it doesn't bother you." I state, watching his uneasiness as he shifts his weight on his feet. Jerk.

"Don't think I care about you, what you do or who you hang with Delilah. This isn't high school or our freshman year here at Higher Heights all over again." He grunts and I scoff.

"Funny, you sure seem to be contradicting yourself by standing here talking to me. Don't you have some mindless shit you should be doing now? Like getting wasted with your friends?" I say smartly and Ethan scowls, studying me intently.

Yes, Ethan and I went to high school together before we came here to Higher Heights. In fact, we were practically best friends all into our freshman year here at Higher Heights until he joined the basketball team and he changed. It wasn't a positive change. Everything went downhill from there but it's not something I like to dwell on.

Before he can even open his mouth to answer me, Justin shows up out of nowhere with a group of three behind him.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting? Because if I am I don't care." Justin voices, moving to stand between Ethan and me and I smile.

Ok, Justin just earned cool points for catching Ethan off guard who's glaring at him incredulously right now.

"Ethan." Justin greets him casually. "Looks like we might be playing on the same team soon huh? Exciting stuff." Justin hums, fixing his wrist watch.

"You have to make the team first Timberlake." Ethan growls, giving me one last glance before he brushes past Justin, their shoulders bouncing against each other roughly.

I watch silently as Ethan disappears into the crowd before I give Justin my full attention.

He looks at me in curiosity, probably wondering what Ethan was doing over here talking to me, but he doesn't look like he's going to voice his thoughts any time soon.

"Took you long enough to get here." I snigger and he shrugs with a large smile on his face.

"I sort of knocked out earlier in my room and woke up late." Justin says innocently and I nod.

"It's ok, you're forgiven." I laugh, taking note of the two guys and one girl standing behind him.

"Yeah, so this is Scottie, Harry and Lorraine. They're in my music classes and they're really talented so I thought it would be cool if we hung out seeing as they could all have music careers by the time they get out of here with my references and maybe with my label." Justin voices and I smile at the group, telling them ‘hi'. They return the gesture and I don't know them personally, but I have seen them around campus.

"Can't help but work while you're here huh?" I voice to Justin and he smiles bashfully looking exceptionally handsome in his long dress pants, polished shoes, and long sleeved dress shirt. He's dressed casually with a plain silver chain falling against his chest.

"It's a habit. But enough about that. Let's party huh? I promised you'd enjoy this experience so come on." Justin says excitedly, gripping my hand in his. "We'll catch up later guys." Justin voices to his new friends before he starts leading us out onto the dance floor and my eyes widen in horror.

"Justin I don't dance..."

"Oh shut it Delilah. You're dancing with me so get over it. You didn't come here all done up and looking cute to be a wallflower." He states seriously and I smile lightly at the fact that he just called me cute.

Eh, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some fun right?

*****

Later

At the girls dorms

When endless laughter can be heard between two people, that's a sure sign that they're enjoying each other's company.

This would probably explain where Justin and I stand with each other right now.

We're like two old friends, just enjoying each other's company.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I had no idea taking this volunteer work on would make me want to actually be friends with the guy. And, strangely enough, I do not like that fact one bit.

I watch intently, smiling as Justin comes down from his laughing fits after telling me a very interesting story about his best friend Trace which involved a party, way too much alcohol and drag queens. Yeah, don't ask.

"Sounds like you have a great life outside of these walls." I state and Justin shakes his head in agreement.

"It can be a little overwhelming and demanding sometimes since so many people except so much from me, but I still consider myself blessed because my family and friends always keep me grounded you know? And I love them for that." He nods, fully sober now.

"So do you miss home?"

"Oh hell yeah...everyday." He admits. "But, here's not so bad either you know? It's a new experience for me. I find myself asking ‘why did I have to open my big mouth and get stuck here' less and less every day."

"I don't blame you. Going to higher heights is like submitting yourself partially to prison because there are so many rules and laws we have to follow to keep our records clean. But, it does instill discipline and responsibility in us young folks." I quip, giggling lightly and Justin smiles at me.

"I totally agree." He divulges.

Wow, so I think I can actually say that I had fun tonight and I owe it all to Justin.

We danced, talked, laughed, drank punch and had a blast.

Plus, it was even more fun when Michelle, Sandra and Justin's new friends joined in.

Tonight was great and helped pull me out of my shell. I forgot how much fun life could be when you tossed all care to the wind.

And, the best part of tonight was that I never saw Ethan again. I have no doubt that he was around somewhere, but, I was too focused on Justin and my friends to care.

After a long night, Justin and I finally decided to leave the dance just as it was ending.

He offered to walk me up to my dorm after we told our friends bye, even if he really wasn't supposed to.

Seeing as I don't get a new roommate until after summer, Justin decided that it was only fair he kept me company until I was ready to turn in and I kicked him out.

So, we've been lounging in my dorm room ever since chatting up a storm with me lying haphazardly on my bed and Justin sitting at my desk messing with my laptop.

"So hey...my birthday is coming up in a few days." Justin utters softly, breaking the silence between us while his fingers skim over the keys on my laptop.

"Yeah? So what do you want to do for it old guy?" I muse and he groans but smiles nonetheless.

"I don't know. What can I do here? This place really is like a prison." He comments and I laugh. "If I were home, Trace and I would find some crazy fun shit to do but here..."

"We could have a dorm party." I suggest and Justin frowns.

"Isn't that against school rules?" He asks suspiciously.

"Sure, but that doesn't mean we can't have it. We just have to make sure that no one finds out." I state and he scoffs, unsure of this little plan.

"Listen Lilah, if I got suspended or expelled, it wouldn't really hurt me because I have a life outside of these walls. But if that happened to any of you guys from breaking the rules then..."

"Justin you worry too much." I cut him off. "It'll be fine. It's not like it'll be the first time." I mutter and his eyes light up immediately.

"Really now." He states, fully intrigued.

"Let's just say, I've had my fair share of breaking the rules until I decided to cool out and take my work seriously. We won't get caught I promise. I know exactly how we'll execute it in the next few days. The most important thing is making sure only the people who are invited are the ones who know. I'll give you the run down and you'll help me plan it. You'll see." I smile deviously and Justin chuckles loudly.

"Oh man, I think I might like this sneaky, conspiring side of you." Justin decides and I laugh along with him. "Definitely reminds of my ‘partner in crime' days with Trace."

"Whatever old man." I joke, causing him to grunt.

"Don't get smart." He warns, gazing down at his watch. "Wow, it's kind of late. I should probably get to my dorm. Manny can be an annoying little fuck when he thinks you're breaking some type of rule. I definitely don't want him to see me walking in at this hour." Justin suggests, standing up and stretching his limbs and I do the same.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow for our library study group." I tell him. "And, we'll start planning out your little secret party because after next week you'll be on your own." I explain.

Justin stops in front of my door, turning around to look at me oddly. "What do you mean I'll be..."

"My volunteer work of being your ‘chaperone and tour guide' ends next week. I think you know the campus pretty well to find your way around now right? You don't need me anymore." I supply and the frown on his face deepens significantly.

"You're kidding Delilah. Ok, I get that maybe at the beginning this was like an obligation for us or whatever, but it's almost been a month. We get along fine. I don't understand."

"Justin..." I sigh, pushing him gently out of the way to swing my door open. "You're a cool guy and you've made some new friends to hang with. You don't need me around anymore. Listen, it's not a big deal ok? If I made friends with every student I had to work with then, I'd have way too many friends." I say lamely.

"That's bullshit Lilah." He snaps. "I consider us friends. I mean, don't you? I'm not some assignment or job to you still am I? Because that's pretty fucked up." He growls.

Perfect. He's getting upset. Just what I need. How do I even explain to him that I never get attached and he shouldn't either even if I think he already has?

I mean, I don't see what's so great about me. I'm as average and as boring as they come.

"Justin calm down geez. Look, we're meeting up tomorrow; we'll focus on your birthday and talk about this afterwards ok?"

"No it's not ok." He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. Damn, he's stubborn.

"Justin...." I whine and he shakes his head, caving.

"Fine. I'll leave it alone for now. But only because it's late and we both need some rest. But for what it's worth Delilah, I consider you my friend." He voices honestly, slightly defeated.

Damn it. I don't need to hear this now.

"Goodnight Justin. Thanks for a great time at the dance." I say softly and he nods, getting ready to leave, but then he suddenly stops again to face me, his stare intense.

"No, you know what?" He begins, deep in thought as he glowers at me. "The difference between me and you Lilah is when I make a friend, I keep them, because I'm not afraid to care or open up myself to them even if it puts me in a vulnerable situation. Because I know those that really matter will always be there. Sometimes, it helps to open up yourself to new things and people instead of always running away or hiding. If you keep doing the latter, you'll just end up alone." Justin speaks gently, his words digging deep. "I'll see you tomorrow." He adds in and with that said he turns around and walks out of my room, disappearing down the halls.

I stand frozen in place, replaying his words in my head over and over again until I shut my door and decide that tonight needs to end with me getting some sleep.

Everything else can come after.

7. Party Planners

January...

Next Day...

In the Library...

"Ok, I think we have everything we need. We made a list of people to invite and I still have some of my alcohol stash from like forever. I'll get access to the school's kitchen to whip up some sandwiches. Sandra and Michelle said they'd get the junk food and we're good to go with the music. Just remember, when we invite people over, it's for a study group, not the party. We're going to study for our quizzes and tests coming up. They're only going to find out when they come to my dorm that it's a party. Got it? It's better that no one knows until it's time and we have to be as far away from Manny as possible." Delilah explains in a hushed whisper and I nod kind of excited that we're actually planning this.

I guess my birthday isn't going to be so bad after all once we manage to pull this off.

"That'll work." I whisper to her before resting back in my seat and allowing my eyes to flit over the large school library.

"And don't worry. We never got caught before and don't plan on starting now." Sandra pipes in and I turn to look at her, smiling lightly. Hmm, I wonder if they have a few of those ‘girls gone wild' stories to share. You know, Sandra's a really good looking girl. I wouldn't mind...

"Most importantly, the jocks can't know." Michelle adds in, interrupting my thoughts.

"Guess I have to play it cool when leaving my room on the day since I've got Ryan as a roommate." I voice.

"Actually, out of the five of them, Ryan's the coolest. He's not so bad. But, because of Ethan and the rest, he usually puts up a front to keep his jock status." Delilah explains and I frown, glaring at her interestingly.

She sure knows a lot about the jocks.

I've actually been refraining from asking her about them but whenever she says stuff like that, I can't help but feel extremely curious.

It doesn't help that when I showed up at the dance last night she was hanging out with Ethan. Well, I highly doubt they were hanging out, but whatever conversation they were having before I showed up wasn't pretty due to the tortured look Delilah had on her face.

I don't want to pry into her personal business seeing as it's only been like a month and I hardly know a thing about her but, that doesn't mean I'm not concerned.

Unlike her, I consider us friends and I care about my friends and am always willing to help them if they need me to.

"So anyway..." Sandra begins after a moment of silence. "I'm going to head out. I have law class in a few. I'll catch up with you guys later?" She questions, standing and gathering her belongings to leave.

"Ok." Delilah gives her a light smile before returning to the party list in front of her on the table.

"I'm heading off too. I'm gonna meet up with some of the guys from the chemistry lab to work on our assignment for class. You kids have fun!" Michelle giggles, standing and intertwining her arm with Sandra's so they can leave.

Both Delilah and I wave goodbye to them and watch them until they disappear out of sight...

"You like Sandra don't you?" Delilah asks me, grasping my attention.

"What?" I ask stupefied, locking eyes with her. She gives me a knowing look and I roll my eyes.

"She's cool. I thought about asking her out but..." I drift, not really knowing how to complete that sentence. Why haven't I asked her out yet? I see her almost all the time. It's not like I have a girlfriend. Jess, doesn't count right now. She's miles away and we're separated.

"But?" Delilah probes, urging me to continue and I shrug.

"I don't know. The timing wasn't right?" I suggest and she nods, casting her vision back to the list.

"Well, I'm sure she wouldn't mind so whenever you decide to..."

"Yeah whatever...listen Delilah if we're about done with the whole illegal party planning thing, I'd like to have a word with you somewhere where we can talk?" I question hopefully and she slowly lifts her head but doesn't meet my stare.

"What about?" She asks hesitantly and I sigh, passing my hands over my short head of hair.

"You know what about. Don't think I've forgotten how we ended our night last night." I point out.

"God would you give it a rest Justin?" She hisses, leaning over the desk to look at me. "You're acting needy like some chick."

"I am not." I snap back in offence. "I just don't get why we can't hang out anymore. Listen believe it or not, you're the first friend I made here. That has to count for something." I tell her and she groans loudly, gaining attention from the students close by before she abruptly stands and gathers her belongings then heads for the door.

"Hey, Lilah where are you going?" I quickly jump up from my seat and grab my book-bag before taking off after her.

I catch up to her in the halls, gripping her arm tightly and forcing her to spin around and face me.

"If you're going to continue on the same topic, leave me alone Justin." She says firmly, her gray-browns infiltrating my blues, causing me to swallow hard.

"What's your problem Lilah? Why are you so anti-social? I'm even surprised I lasted this long with you given what I've picked up about you so far just from observation."

"I am not anti-social."

"Ok, fine. Then what other word describes you in that context?" I snap back and she cringes from the harshness in my tone. I can't help it. She's frustrating me.

"Oh I don't know...outcast?" She mutters nonchalantly and I eye her like she's crazy.

"No seriously. That's not it. Do you know what an outcast is? It's someone who's rejected or alienated from their home or society. I'm sure the school hasn't rejected you in any way. I see you talking to students all the time. And you're not friendless either. You have Sandra, Michelle and now..." I hesitate when her eyes narrow slightly. "You have me. So what is it?" I probe and she grunts loudly before whipping around and walking away.

I sigh, deciding to follow her silently for a bit as we walk through the halls passing endless students along the way. Some call out to me, some tell me ‘hi' and some just stare or cut their eyes at me. Typical.

I ignore them for the most part, my focus trained on Delilah's back and her fast strides as I easily keep up with her.

We continue walking in silence until we round the corner and she stops abruptly, whirling around to glare at me.

I halt my steps and cross my arms over my chest, smiling demurely at her.

"Would you stop following me Justin? This is a perfect example of you being a stalker."

Her eyes are wide and her lips are protruding in a small, cute pout and I can't help but chuckle.

"Not until you tell me what's going on with you. Why can't we still be friends Lilah? You still haven't given me a logical reason. And it's rude to just walk away from someone like you're doing to me." I say for good measure.

"Why do you want to even hang with me and be my friend Justin? You don't know me. You're a superstar celebrity who got stuck here against your will."

"Hey, a part of me wants to be here now believe it or not. I never start what I don't intend on finishing. And I want to be your friend because...because I think you're cool. I like you." I admit but that does nothing to persuade her.

She hugs her books against her chest and sways uncomfortably in front of me, bowing her head and casting her vision to the floor.

"But why? What's so great about me?" She asks gently and my stare softens when I hear the sudden weak tone to her voice.

That's a good question.

Why her? Why do I like her and think she's cool even without knowing her? I'm sure I could hang with a whole bunch of different people here and I'm sure she knows this too. Sure we got stuck with each other but if that weren't the case, would I have even known or cared that she existed? Another good question to which I do not have a definite answer. I guess we'll never know.

I pause, trying to find the right words to say when she finally looks up at me expectantly.

"Well, I guess..." I clear my throat nervously, not sure of what I really want to say here. "I see something in you that I like that makes me want us to remain friends even after your volunteer time is up. I don't know Lilah. I'll be honest. You're not exactly my type in reference to the women I go for and date romantically."

"Wow, blunt much?"

"I'm sorry." I laugh. "I'm trying to be honest. Don't hold it against me."

"It's ok." She smiles lightly.

"I just...despite that fact, I do see that we have the potential to be really great friends. Maybe even best friends. I can tell you'd make an awesome friend if you'd just come out of your shell. Sometimes you show it, but most times you hide it. Plus, wouldn't it be cool if we got to hang out for the rest of the year?"

"I guess..." She drifts unsurely.

"That won't be able to happen if you don't give me a chance to know you Lilah. Would you just stop running away?"

I'm getting really frustrated with her.

And I ask myself again...why do I even care? Why does it matter? What is it about her that's preventing me from just walking away?

The only thing I can come up with is that she's a challenge. She's a tough one to crack and the fact that she's not in the least bit affected by my status is probably another reason. She acknowledges who I am, admits that she likes my work (the little bit that she knows about), but even with all of that, she still treats me like just another regular guy here at Higher Heights. That hardly ever happens to me with strangers who aren't my family and close friends.

But, I can't help but wonder if she would be the same with me if she got a front row seat to my real life outside these walls.

A loud defeated sigh escapes her and I watch intently as she scans our surroundings before gripping my hand in hers and pulling me along with her.

"Fine, come on."

"Where are we going?" I ask, following her. "This isn't the part where you take me in some corner and strip me naked before having your way with me right?" I muse, laughing lightly and she smirks.

"Don't flatter yourself Justin. Your witty charm hasn't won me over completely yet. If anything it's quite annoying."

"Ah, but I'm wearing you down baby, I'm wearing you down." I say in my best Steve Urkel impression, causing Lilah to drop my hand so she can cover her mouth to control her sudden snort and laughing fits.

I smile brightly that I was able to make her crack up before I notice that we're heading towards the bathrooms.

Before I can ask her what she's doing, she pushes the male bathroom door open and peeps inside before strutting in.

I follow her in, glaring at her strangely. "Uh Lilah? Is there something you forgot to tell me in terms of your gender?" I ask jokingly, pointing to my crotch area for effect and her eyes widen before she blushes.

"What? Oh god no! Justin!" She scolds me and I chortle, liking the fact that I made her blush. Score one for me.

"I'm kidding. So uh, why are we in here? I hope you're not thinking of having some quick, hot bathroom sex because I have a class to get to in about fifteen minutes which is clearly not enough time. But, I could go for some birthday sex though."

Yeah, I'm on a roll.

I'd sprout any stupid shit right now to rid us of the tension.

Obviously she dragged me in here so we could have some privacy away from wondering eyes.

"Just shut up Justin. You know I dragged you in here so we could talk in private." Delilah laughs out.

It's like she read my mind.

"I know." I smile.

Luckily for us, we're in the bathrooms on the public halls which are regular bathrooms compared to the dorms bathrooms and showers. At least, in here is empty since people are probably on their way to their classes right now.

Whatever this is, it's obviously important so my class can wait.

Yeah, my priorities are right on target I'd like to think.

"Ok, let's make this quick and painless." Delilah voices, taking in a deep breath and I wait patiently, my eyes drifting to the large mirror to study our reflections.

God I hate these uniforms.

I'm also aware that I could easily twist what she just said into something sexual...quick and painless...yeah...

Fuck.

Focus Justin.

I can't believe it's almost been a month and counting since I last had sex.

This is unacceptable.

Ok, stay focus...

I bite my bottom lip, trying to rid myself of my random thoughts when Delilah starts to speak.

"To make a long story short, Ethan and I used to be really good friends from high school into our freshman year here at Higher Heights. He came to Higher Heights on a basketball scholarship so obviously he joined the team ‘Eagles' here. It wasn't long before he made captain which was rare for a freshman to accomplish but of course Ethan did. When that happened, he started getting noticed, started getting popular and I guess somewhere down the line he changed into a real overconfident jerk. Now don't get me wrong. We were still cool at the time, but we were drifting you know? Anyway, you know that whatever reputation you start out with as a freshman has the ability to haunt you for the rest of your school life unless you find a way to change that image the student body has of you. Well, let's just say, the time frame when Ethan and I went from being really close to practically enemies and not speaking resulted in maybe the span of one week. It happened when I told him I couldn't keep up with his attitude and behavior anymore. I told him if he didn't try to at least tone down his negative ways, I was gone. Obviously he didn't take that lightly and decided that no one was going to take the upper hand on him. So, he attacked first, getting me back for supposedly embarrassing him among other things. What he did was all it took for the rumors to start spreading and the next thing I knew, everyone was looking down on me like I was this less than human creature..."

Delilah trails off, clearly not wanting to divulge anymore to me as the memory seems to be consuming her and causing her emotional pain.

I'm tempted to ask her, to beg her to tell me what exactly the jerk did, but I refrain when I see her eyes welling up with tears.

Shit. I don't want her to get upset. I hate it when women cry.

"Hey, hey Lilah." I whisper, quickly closing the gap between us. "It's ok; it's good to let it out." I tell her, looking down at her.

She locks eyes with me, shaking her head in protest as she wipes at her dry eyes. She may want to cry, but I'm pretty she's not going to...not in front of me anyway.

"No, talking about shit that bothers you only brings it up to the surface."

"It's a good way to heal and move on. Listen Lilah, I think we've both established that Ethan is a jerk. You shouldn't let whatever he put you through years ago affect you like this. That means you're giving him power over you. Power he shouldn't have. And you can't let whatever happened between you two prevent you from living your life. You also shouldn't make that affect how you deal with other people because no two persons are the same. Ok?" I say gently, cupping her cheeks in my palms and forcing her to look at me.

"I guess." She shrugs and I smile, shaking my head at her.

"Not good enough. Promise me you'll try to get over this. If you need me, I'll be there for you; I'll help you through it. But only if you ask. You need to start making an effort to move on instead of dwelling on the past and shutting people out in the process."

"I promise I'll try. You're right." She decides and I nod.

"You know I am girl." I utter, my smile falling as I continue to examine her closely with my fingertips grazing over her soft cheeks.

You know, she's really not a bad looking girl. I mean, I only ever gave her a surfaced glance but looking at her now, I'm starting to realize just how pretty she is. I mean, look at her eyes for example. They're the most amazing mixture of gray and brown. For her complexion, they really stand out and that has to be the first thing you notice when you look at her.

I know I said before her mouth wasn't attractive or whatever in my ranting but, I so take that back. Her lips are plump and full and slightly shinning from whatever lip gloss she's wearing and I'm suddenly wondering about the flavor.

Wow, wow, wow...hold up...

"Justin?" Lilah whispers, her eyes searching my blues wildly as an awkward silence keeps sucking us in.

"Hmm?" Is the only reply I manage to give her, never breaking her gaze as I'm overpowered with this overwhelming urge to suddenly kiss her and make whatever doubts she has about me go away...

Unfortunately, as fast as that thought crosses my mind, it vanishes with the sound of the main entrance doors to the male bathrooms opening and closing.

Shit, for a moment, I forgot where we were...

Delilah's eyes widen when we hear footsteps and I quickly retract my hands from her face, taking a step away from her before we're greeted by one of the students.

"Yow, I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Comes a suspicious, slightly amused voice.

When I see who it is, I shake my head with a groan. "What do you want Ryan?" I hiss, staring at the slightly shorter guy.

"Uh, why do people go into bathrooms Justin?" He quips. "Ignoring the fact that the two of you are clearly in here for unconventional purposes."

Fucking wiseass.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" I smirk.

"Shouldn't you?" He retorts, a devious grin spreading across his face.

He has me there.

"Excuse me." Delilah suddenly speaks up, diverting our attention.

I watch as she quickly brushes past Ryan, giving me one last glance before she's out the door, disappearing out of sight.

Well shit. I didn't even get a chance to say ‘see you later' or anything for that matter.

"Look Justin. I'm not going to ask you what was going on in here before I walked in because clearly, I don't want to know." Ryan divulges.

"Good. Let's keep it that way." I hiss, moving to leave but he blocks my path. "Out of my way man, I need to get to class."

"A moment ago class seemed to be the furthest thing from your mind. You're a real class act aren't you Justin?" He says sarcastically in a crude manner.

"Oh ye of a jackass's intelligence. Do not judge what you don't know or understand my friend." I wisecrack, causing him to scowl. "Now out of my way Ryan."

Raising his hands in defeat, he chuckles lightly before taking a few steps to the side, clearing my path.

Smirking, I shake my head in disdain before heading straight for the door. If I run down the halls, I'll just make it on time based on my wrist watch.

Before I can exit though, Ryan decides to speak again, only pissing me off in the process.

"I said I didn't want to know what was going on with you and Delilah Justin, but, I'm sure Ethan would be a different case. I don't know what you think you're doing, but if I were you, I'd not do anything to provoke Ethan. You don't want to get on the top of his shit list."

"And how exactly would I be provoking him Ryan? I don't like the guy and we don't exactly talk either." I say coldly, keeping my back to him as I swing the door open and notice a few students passing by.

"The answer to your question just stormed out of here a moment ago like a passing tornado. Why don't you try asking her instead?" Ryan supplies coolly.

Clenching my fist, I inhale sharply using every ounce of willpower in me to walk away.

Without saying another word to him, I easily exit the male bathrooms leaving everything he said in there behind me.

If there's one thing those jocks will eventually learn either the easy way or hard way is that, you don't mess with Justin Timberlake without being ready to face the consequences.

8. Breaking the Rules

Part 1

Days Later

Higher Heights

Girls Dorms

I'm nervous.

Today is Justin's birthday and while I know we planned this party together, I want tonight to be one he won't forget.

I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am. I want him to like this. I really want him to like this because when this is over, he won't be seeing much of me.

I know, I know, I promised Justin we'd be friends and I'd try to get over how I am now because of Ethan and whatever else we spoke about a few days ago but...but after what almost-happened-but-didn't-really-happen between us in the male bathrooms before Ryan of all people waltzed in, I'm not so sure anymore.

I mean, if I didn't know any better, I'd say Justin was either going to or thinking about kissing me and while I can't understand how that could be the case, he was like an open book. His eyes spoke volumes and I found myself trapped between wanting to run away screaming and actually motivating him to ‘go for it.'

Ugh!

This is frustrating me.

That's all I've been thinking about for the past few days and it's driving me crazy.

I mean, he's Justin. Or according to Sandra and Michelle, he's Justin fucking Timberlake.

He said with his own mouth that he didn't date girls like me and while I will admit that I actually like the guy now, he's still somewhat annoying...in a cute wanting to strangle him way.

But besides that, my feelings towards him are still neutral and whenever something comes along to possibly change that, I stay as far away as possible.

That almost kissing experience we had was the thing that got in the way and while I'm maybe reading too much into this, I'm not taking any chances.

The last thing I need is to get my heart broken by falling for some superstar who isn't going to be around after the end of this year.

Plus, things like being best friends with a celebrity don't happen to me.

Eh, whatever.

I shouldn't be thinking about this now.

Today is Justin's day and the last thing he needs is to find out about the crazy shit passing through my mind or even suspect that something's bothering me.

He can be the most persistent, persuasive little bugger when he wants to know what's going on with you.

I think I'll just focus on getting through this party tonight, which, by the time on my clock, should be starting in about an hour.

Ok, so I invited everyone over for our supposed study date. No one knows this is a party so I'm pretty sure some will be coming in their PJ's which will prove to be quite interesting.

Our head girl is pretty cool compared to Manny so I got her permission to have this study night with guys and girls allowed. I told her that we'd maybe get a little noisy, maybe have some music playing to free up or whatever just so she doesn't come knocking.

It was just a little white lie so I didn't really feel too bad about it.

Right, so I cleared out the party space. It's not very big in my room or any of the dorm rooms for that matter, but it's enough space to fit a handful of our closest friends.

Speaking of friends...

As I continue eyeing my setup, I hear a light knock on the door and nearly jump out of my skin.

Whipping around, I glare at the barrier wondering who could be here so early. It's not yet time damn it.

Please don't make it be Justin. That would really suck if he decided to show up early.

The music is a go. I made a playlist and set everything up on my laptop with my bass speakers. The junk food is here. Sandra and Michelle dropped it off earlier before they headed back to their dorm rooms to get ready and the alcohol is conveniently stashed away in my closet until it's needed.

Ok, so all we need are the guests...

Groaning when I hear my door again, I sigh with defeat and decide to answer it.

I guess some people couldn't wait for the specified time which doesn't give me any time to mentally prepare myself.

Strutting over to the door, I swing it open to see who's on the other side.

"Uh...yeah hi?" I call out when I'm met with someone's back.

I watch intently as the person whips around and gives me a ‘once over' before a smile spreads across their face.

"Hey, are you Delilah?"

"Um yeah I'm her." I frown in perplexity.

"Oh cool..." Drifting off, the person turns away from me and looks down the hall before calling out to someone else. "Yow Rachel! I found her!"

The guy then whips back around and smiles again and I force a smile having an idea of who he might be now. "I'm Trace by the way." He adds in and I nod in realization.

"Oh right! Hey! Oh my god thanks so much for coming on such short notice." I beam happily.

He's much shorter than Justin but he's cute too. I can't help but giggle though when I remember some of the stories Justin told me about him. If he's anything like what Justin said then I know tonight will be loads of fun.

"It's cool. You know Rach and I weren't going to miss J's birthday. But the fact that you invited us out here made it much better because we were trying to figure out when we should show up. Surprising him is so much better." Trace grins evilly and I smile brightly until I notice Rachel walking up to us.

"Hey! So you're Delilah."  Rachel grins and I nod. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too. Thanks so much for coming. I know Justin will be happy having his cousin and best friend here. I mean, you guys mean a lot to him from how he talks about you all and having a piece of your family and home on your birthday is always a plus." I explain and they shake their heads in unison.

"Delilah, I like you already...so, shall we start plotting on how we're going to give Justin the shock of his life?" Trace chuckles as I invite them both into my dorm room.

"I guess." I say hesitantly.

"And we have to record it. You have a camera right?" Rachel pipes in, looking around.

"Uh yeah. Everyone else should be over in less than an hour." I inform them.

It doesn't take long for them to get settled in.

Trace is sitting at my desk and Rachel grabs one of the other chairs.

I sit on the edge of my bed as Trace and Rachel, who's very pretty by the way with beautiful raven hair, tells me about their trip out here.

By right, visitors aren't allowed after campus hours but I begged our head girl to have them over for a few hours since today is Justin's birthday.

Of course she agreed seeing as she's a Justin fan. Figured.

So far, Trace and Rachel seem nice.

It wasn't easy getting in contact with them. I had to beg headmaster Williams to give me Justin's home information and tell him that it was for Justin's birthday. The only reason he agreed was because he knew I was assigned to Justin and he figured we were friends by now and believed that I only wanted to surprise J. If it was any of the other girls on campus that would not have happened after the school made them sign some privacy contract or something making sure Justin isn't harassed while he's here.

Eh, the point is, Trace and Rachel were able to make it.

So, let the festivities begin.

*****

Later

"Hey! People quiet down Justin's on his way!" I call out to everyone.

The party has long kicked off with everyone we invited over being present. All except Justin of course who called me on my cell and told me that he couldn't leave his dorm until Manny was done making his rounds.

I'm glad we can call each other though. Even if cell phones aren't allowed, I think it's the one thing that the head boys and girls don't bother with reporting as long as they're not major distractions or issues. Hey, they're guilty just like we are so it's whatever.

"J needs to get here now. He's missing his own party." Trace snickers, comfortably sitting at the edge of my bed with Michelle on his lap who's giggling like an idiot.

Yeah, don't ask.

I think I broke out the alcohol way too early.

There are school books and various accessories kicked to the side on the floor.

The moment people walked in and we told them what was going on, they totally disregarded their school work and literally thanked me for doing this. Ha!

Higher Heights may be tough, but it sure doesn't make you studious unless you want to be.

"Uh, Delilah? I think your friend had too much to drink." Trace voices, grabbing my attention away from the door that I'm hoping Justin walks through soon.

"Michelle!" I groan, walking over to root her off of Trace's lap since she's practically groping him. "I'm sorry, she's not usually like this." I admit and he chuckles lightly.

"Hey, I'm not complaining. Was just stating the obvious." He laughs and I can't help but smile and roll my eyes at him. I like him. He's cool.

"Are you sure you won't get in trouble Delilah? People are really letting go here." Rachel speaks up, resting against the wall, sipping on a rum and coke she mixed herself.

"Well..." I drift, my eyes flitting over the people in the room who are dancing to the playlist party mix I created on my laptop.

It's not that many of us but, it is getting kind of rowdy. In fact, that would maybe explain why I hid the rest of the alcohol. I haven't drank any but almost everyone else has.

"We'll be ok. As long as everyone is sober by the time they leave." I tell her trying to hold up Michelle's weight.

"Don't worry! We've never gotten caught before!" Sandra pipes in, smiling warmly for Rachel who doesn't look so convinced; but, all that is forgotten when my door swings open and a very annoyed Justin strolls in wearing a black hoodie and gray cotton sweat pants.

"Happy birthday Justin!" Michelle hollers first when she sees him and I groan, carrying her to take a seat on a chair on the other side of the room.

The music stops and everyone turns in Justin's direction who has a rather amused expression on his face.

"I see ya'll started without me." Justin drawls, removing the hood from his head and passing his hands over his hair.

A chorus of ‘happy birthday' soon follows before everyone takes their turn greeting him with a handshake or hug.

He thanks everybody and when I look around I realize that Rachel and Trace are nowhere in sight.

What the hell?

I hear a low whistle and turn towards my closet only to see Trace's head poking out. Well shit, that was quick.

I giggle despite myself, trying to sober up when everyone leaves Justin's side to return to the party and his vision drifts to where I'm standing.

"What about you Lilah?" Justin voices with a cheeky grin on his face.

"What about me?" I snort, covering my mouth in the process.

"Where's my birthday wish?" He pouts like a big baby and I scoff.

"I saw you this morning Justin. I told you happy birthday then."

"This is my party though. You need to seal it with a...birthday wish." He wisecracks. He thinks he's funny huh?

"Ok, well here's one..." I begin, closing the gap between us. "I wish you weren't such a smartass." I joke, ignoring his fake shocked expression before I pull him down for a hug. "Happy birthday Justin." I coo.

"Thanks." He whispers, his hold around me tightening slightly as he breathes in deeply and my eyes widen when he gives me a light squeeze.

Ok! Back up! We need space! Space is good!

"Right uh...you can let me go now Justin." I say softly and he suddenly jerks back to glare at me with an impish grin on his face.

"Sorry." He shrugs, detaching his arms from around my waist and straightening his posture.

"It's cool. So you came in here looking pissed off. Is everything ok?" I ask and he growls lowly, his entire mood switching back to how it was when he walked in.

Unfortunately, he doesn't get a chance to explain before Trace and Rachel make their presence known.

"Hey fucker! Happy birthday!" Trace belts loudly, walking towards us. Justin's head snaps in their direction and a soft gasp escapes him.

"Oh shit! No fucking way! Am I dreaming?" Justin laughs out loudly, totally forgeting about me as he approaches them. Rachel is standing behind Trace filming them with my camera.

"Wish you were dude. This place looks like a fortress. I have no idea how you're surviving here." Trace quips as he and Justin hug briefly.

"Quiet jerk. It's cool here. You should try it out sometime."

"No thank you." Trace shakes his head in the process. "My school days are over."

"Uh huh." Justin grins as he turns to his cousin. "And Rach, what the hell are you doing?"

"You should have seen the shock on your face Justin and the wide eyes. Classic." She giggles before switching off the camera and placing it down on the table next to my laptop. "Happy birthday cous." She says before hugging Justin and giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

"Wow, thanks guys. It's so great to see you all but what the hell are you all doing here?" Justin questions in bewilderment.

"Hey, don't thank us. Thank Delilah for inviting us to your little illegal gathering since I understand that it's against school laws." Trace explains and Justin turns to look at me in astonishment.

"Lilah?" He questions in uncertainty. I can see the fascination on his face that I pulled this off but his blues are filled with confusion.

I don't see what the big deal is. I didn't exactly do anything except call them. They paid their plane tickets and everything to come out here so...

"Surprise?" I shrug and Justin shakes his head in disbelief, studying me closely.

"I'll say." He breathes deeply still in awe. It doesn't take long for him to come out of his shock though. "Well, what are we waiting for? I'm here now! Let's party people!" He shouts, receiving a series of hoots and hollers in return before the music is back on.

I can only imagine everyone leaving here all jovial with the memory that they got to party with the 'rock star' himself.

I smile happily that this party is a success and the fact that Justin seems so content right now.

He easily gets lost in catching up with Rachel and Trace and I decide to let him have his time with them as I head over to check on Michelle who's being attended to by Sandra.

"How's she doing?" I ask.

"She'll be ok. She just needs water. Do you have any?" Sandra questions and I shake my head ‘no.'

"Not in my room. I'm out. I'll go grab a bottle from the vending machine down the hall. I'll be right back." I tell Sandra and she nods in understanding.

Heading over to my desk, I grab my purse and give Justin one last glance who's busy with Rachel and Trace before I silently make my exit.

As I shut my dorm room door quietly, I listen to see if the noise is too loud outside but it's just right.

It's not silent. I mean, you can hear that there's stuff going on in there, but it's not obvious to the point where it's suspicious or whatever for someone to come snooping or knocking.

"What are you doing Delilah?"

Jumping in fright at a deep masculine voice behind me, I whirl around while gripping my chest since my heart just did flip-flops.

"Shit." I hiss, taking in a few deep breaths.

Lifting my head, I notice Ethan walking up to me and my eyes widen.

I quickly step away from my door and walk in his direction so he won't come any closer to my dorm room.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I question him, eyeing him strangely.

"I uh..." But I cut him off.

"Why are you in the girls dorms at this hour?" I snap again and he groans, but his attention is swayed when we hear a loud thud sound from somewhere behind my door.

"What's going on in there?" Ethan laughs while stuffing his hands in his jeans pockets and I roll my eyes at him.

"Nothing. We're just having a study group. We were given permission to. I was actually heading to the vending machines to grab a bottle of water." I explain.

"Uh huh." Ethan drawls, glaring at the closed door before locking eyes with me. "Do you always study with music playing?"

"We're on a break genius." I spit and he raises his hands in the air in defeat.

"Ok, chill. I didn't come here to fight." He relents and I frown deeply.

"Then what did you come for?" I question before gripping his arm to tug him so we can walk down the hall.

The last thing I need is for him to find out what's going on in there because I know he'd get some sick thrill in reporting us to the headmaster.

"I came here to talk to you Delilah." Ethan says seriously and I groan, tugging on my plain top and sweat pants.

"Ethan. We have nothing to talk about." I state honestly as we stroll down the deserted dorm room halls.

"Yes we do. There are a lot of unresolved issues between us and I think it's time we cleared the air."

I stop in my tracks before turning to stare at him with narrowed eyes.

"Let me guess. The only reason you're even paying any interest in me now is because of a certain superstar. You just can't deal with the fact that we're friends can you? I don't see why though." I say bitterly.

"That's beside the point Delilah."

"No Ethan. That is the point. You men and your egos. I don't know what you're trying to do here but it's not going to work. And I suggest you leave Justin alone. He hasn't done anything to you."

"That punk is not my concern." Ethan groans.

"Oh really? Because before now, you wouldn't even give me a second glance. We've been like strangers ever since freshman year. You're going to tell me now you've suddenly had a change of heart around the same time you saw me hanging out with Justin? How stupid do you think I am? What I don't get is what's your damage?"

He's really beginning to piss me off with his fake nice guy act.

"Come on Delilah. Would you just listen to me? Ryan told me that he saw you and..."

"Ok, just stop right there. There's nothing you can tell me Ethan that's going to make things ok between us. That ship sailed a long time ago so I suggest you stop wasting our time and just head back on to your dorm."

With that said, I whip around and continue walking towards the vending machines.

He follows me of course, clearly not getting the picture.

"Delilah wait up. Look I know how things ended between us were bad but I'm trying to right my wrongs here. I'm trying to apologize and tell you that I'd like for us to start over." There's a pause before he inhales deeply and adds in, "I'm sorry."

And just like that I stop walking, my heart pounding out of my chest as I breathe in deeply.

I can't believe it.

Even if I know that Ethan's only saying this now because he feels threatened in some way by Justin, I still can't believe it.

After all of this time and after everything we've been through, this is the first time he's ever apologized and said anything remotely close to admitting his wrongdoings.

Against my better judgment I relent and turn around to face him, deciding to hear him out, knowing that I should maybe kick myself in the ass for even considering listening to him in the first place.

9. Breaking The Rules

Part 2

"Dude, you're coming home for summer break right? Shit's not the same with you gone. I mean yeah it's your fault you're here but that Henry kid is annoying as fuck!" Trace sneers, shaking his head in displeasure.

I smile, folding my arms across my chest as I stare at my best friend.

"He's enjoying my life huh?" I muse, causing Trace to groan. "Yeah I'm coming home for summer break, but I gotta go back for one more semester after that to complete the full school year."

"This Henry kid you traded lives with knows nothing about fashion, so asking him his input on the fashion line is pointless. He questions everything...incessantly. In fact, there was a time when I was so irritated with him, I literally stormed out of the office one day. Rachel was there; she can vouch for me. J, man, we need you back. Fuck, I miss you. I said it. Isn't there any way you can get out of this ridiculous challenge?" Trace inquires and I shrug, looking at Rachel who's giggling softly at Trace's distress.

"No. Johnny made an appointment with the school for me to be interviewed by the media on campus just before summer. We don't exactly watch television here but I have seen some of the shit going on on the internet. People are eating this up Trace. I have to see it through. I can't back out now. My image and reputation are on the line." I voice earnestly, my head mindlessly bobbing to the music playing in the background.

I still can't believe Delilah called them out here for my birthday.

She sure is something.

As much as she puts on a front like she doesn't care, I know she does. She cares a lot. She's just scared of showing it.

"You can't back out Justin or you don't want to back out?" Rachel asks, a mischievous grin forming on her face and I know that look.

"What Rach?" I groan, already knowing I'm not going to like what she has to say.

"I think you like it here now. I think you like it here because of your new friend Deli-lah." She says teasingly, stressing Delilah's name and I chuckle, shaking my head in disbelief at her.

"Took you long enough huh?" I muse.

"I never disappoint." She smiles. "But for what it's worth, I like her. I mean I don't know her, but what I see is cool. I could see us hanging." Rachel adds in and I nod in agreement.

"Yeah, if I could actually convince her for us to stay friends." I mumble.

"Wow man, if she invited us out here just so your birthday could be a little more fun and meaningful then she cares and you all are friends." Trace states but he clearly doesn't know Delilah.

"I wouldn't be so sure. She's a mystery that one, tough to figure out and crack." I divulge, rubbing under my chin in thought.

"What's with you Justin? Why do you always like to challenge yourself like this? You see something that's hard to accomplish or acquire and you get sucked into it, making it your sole mission to conquer. If Delilah is like that, she's like that for a reason. Don't try forcing your way into her life if she doesn't want you to. You've got to be careful J." Rachel warns me but I totally ignore her, her warning falling on deaf ears.

"Rach, it's not that serious. I just like the girl and think she's cool and I think that it wouldn't kill her if she just lived a little and learned to open up some..." But before I can continue my rant, Trace interrupts.

"Then why don't you invite her out to visit you on summer break in Cali? If she's like a hermit or something, maybe the change in environment will help her to open up and come out of her shell." Trace voices and actually, that's not a bad idea. "Plus, she'll get to see you in your natural element. Not stuck here as some student in Fort Knox." He jests and I chuckle.

"It's too soon to ask her something like that though. We have a few months before summer." I suggest.

"Then you have time to build a friendship and get her to say ‘yes' to come out and visit. I'd like to know more about her since for some reason she caught your interest. I know you said you all got stuck together or whatever at the start, but nothing's forcing you to care about her Justin. You've willingly made her a part of your life whether she realizes it or not. That's huge, especially for you." Rachel concludes and Trace and I watch her blankly for a moment.

"What are you drinking Rach? This isn't like you. You should be ragging on Justin right now, teasing him and even threatening to tell Jessica." Trace laughs out.

"I have my moments." She beams proudly and I cringe slightly at the memory of Jessica.

I know Jess said we were on a break but is it bad that I haven't even thought about contacting her since I've been here? I don't know. I don't really care right now either.

"Hey speaking of Delilah, where is she? I need her to give me the dirty little embarrassing moments you've had since you've been here Justin. I know your ass won't tell me, but she will if there are any." Trace jokes and I shove him good-naturedly, shooting him a death glare.

"Whatever bitch. I'm cool here." I state.

"Highly doubt it man. At the core, you're a nerd. I would know." Trace jibes and I frown at him before my blues start scanning the room for Delilah.

Wow, for real though, where the hell did she disappear to? I was so caught up with Trace and Rachel I totally forgot about her.

"Hey uh, guys I'm gonna go look for Lilah. You all will be ok for a bit right? The people here are cool, you can mingle or whatever." I state, excusing myself and getting ready to leave.

"We're good J." Rachel assures, giving me a knowing smile and I simply quirk a brow at her.

"When you find her, tell her to holler at me with Michelle's digits since Michelle is too fucking gone to tell me herself." Trace snickers and I wave him off laughing before leaving him and Rachel to converse.

I walk to the other side of the room and I notice Sandra sitting on a chair next to Michelle with Michelle lying passed out on her lap.

"Sandra have you seen Delilah?" I question, grasping her attention.

"She went to the vending machine down the hall to grab a bottle of water for Michelle. She should have been back by now." Sandra voices.

"Ok don't worry about it, I'll get her." I supply and Sandra nods in return before diverting her attention.

I give ‘my party' one last glance and smile at the fact that we're actually able to kick back and have fun in this place even if we're breaking a mountain of rules.

Who cares though? I sure as hell don't.

Swinging the door to the room open, I quickly take a step out into the hall and shut it gently behind me.

My gaze travels up and down the hallway wondering in which direction the vending machines are since I can't seem to remember ever seeing them.

"You're such a liar!" Someone shouts.

"Lilah?" I frown in confusion, allowing my feet to take me to the sound of her voice.

"Come on Delilah, I'm not lying to you!"

"Yes you are! How can you stand there and tell me what you did was unavoidable?"

"Look I'm sorry ok!"

"Don't yell at me and keep your voice down; people are trying to sleep!" She snaps.

"You're yelling too!"

Who the fuck is she talking to?

My pace instantly speeds up but when I reach to the end of the hall and round the corner I freeze.

Well I've located the vending machines.

I've also located a very pissed off Delilah holding a bottle of spring water in her hand while glowering at none other than Ethan.

My brows instantly crease into a frown as I glare at the both of them.

She looks like she wants to hit him with the bottle. I wouldn't be surprised if she was thinking about it.

"What's going on?"  I voice lowly, grabbing their attention.

Delilah's orbs drift in my direction and Ethan spins around to look at me with a scowl on his face.

"Shouldn't you be in your dorm room Timberlake?" Ethan hisses.

"He's part of our study group and don't talk to him like that Ethan." Delilah snaps at him and I smile smugly.

"You're defending him now? Unbelievable." Ethan groans.

"Uh, Lilah, come on let's get back to our study group. We've been waiting for you to continue the homework questions." I voice, my blues never leaving Ethan as I stretch out my hand for Delilah to take. I know he's not supposed to know about our party so I'm not about to give it away.

I don't care about the fact that I interrupted whatever argument they were having. What I do care about is why they were arguing at this hour out in the halls of the girls' dorm rooms of all places. What the fuck is Ethan even doing here? You know, something's not adding up, but I can't think about that now.

I give Delilah a look, waiting for any type of reaction from her.

She hesitates at first but then slowly walks over to me.

Unfortunately, before she can grip my hand in hers, Ethan stops her, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards him.

Bad fucking idea dude.

"Ouch, let go Ethan!" Delilah whines.

"We're not done yet Delilah. We need to talk this out. We need to solve this. We can't keep being like this with each other..." That's as far as Ethan gets before I close the small gap between us and I jack him harshly in the chest sending his back slamming against one of the vending machines.

He releases his hold on Delilah in the process and I watch as she winces in pain, rubbing the spot on her arm where he grabbed her roughly. But, she doesn't say anything else. She remains quiet with shock and slight embarrassment on her face.

"What the fuck is your problem man? This doesn't concern you!" Ethan growls angrily, rubbing at the sore spot on his chest where I shoved him.

"You never put your hands on a woman man...no matter the fucking reason. Never!" I spit, pointing my finger in his face. "If you ever do what you just did again, I'll break your fucking limb. I'm not afraid of you Ethan." I sneer, our noses almost touching since I'm right in his face.

He's staring at me angrily, gritting his teeth but I'm not backing down.

"You're not so tough without your boys are you?" I add in when he remains silent just looking at me with an evil glimmer in his eyes.

"Why don't you put your fist where your mouth is?" He growls back.

"Gladly..." I begin but I drift when Delilah grips my hoodie and starts tugging on it roughly to pull me away from Ethan.

"Justin, it's not even worth it." She voices softly, still pulling until I relent and take a few steps back.

I turn to look down at her for a moment before my vision travels back to Ethan.

"Just leave dude. I'm sure you all will continue this conversation another time." I say sternly to him and he huffs, brushing off his shirt.

"You shouldn't have done that Justin. This doesn't concern you." Ethan warns but I simply turn my back to him.

"Get stepping man," Is the last thing I say to him before I grip Delilah's hand gently and pull her with me to walk.  

She allows me to lead us back up the halls and away from Ethan silently.

My mind is spinning with all kinds of thoughts and scenarios from what I just witnessed but I'm not going to say anything. Not yet anyway.

When we make it back to the party, I stop outside of Delilah's door and turn around to face her, dropping her hand in the process.

She's looking up at me with wide glassy eyes completely mute.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" I ask her and she bows her head in shame. "What the fuck was that all about anyway?" I ask again, looking at her intently.

"Nothing..." She mutters weakly and I scoff, shaking my head in protest.

"Nothing."  I repeat. "Lilah, I know there's more going on with you and Ethan than you're letting on. I know there's shit you're not telling me. Don't lie and tell me it's nothing." I hiss.

"It's nothing you need to worry about Justin. Just, stay away from Ethan. You don't want to get mixed up with him."

"I think that ship has sailed Lilah!" I grunt. "But I would like some insight into what I'm dealing with if you don't mind."

When she doesn't respond I sigh in frustration. "Shit Lilah, what's going on with you? You know, you can trust me. You can tell me anything. That's what friends do." I say gently, gripping her chin and lifting her head up. "Hey look at me." I demand and her gray-browns finally meet my blues. "You can tell me. Whatever it is, I won't judge you."

"No Justin, it's fine..."

"It's not fine Lilah and you're clearly not fine either." I pause, thinking this entire situation over. The last thing I want is for her to close off completely because she thinks I'm pressuring her. "Look, I'm not trying to force you to tell me. I'd like you to tell me about yourself when you're ready. But, I would like to know eventually. You can't keep shutting me out. I'm not going to leave you alone." I joke and she smiles weakly in return.

"So I'm stuck with you?"

"Pretty much." I chortle, already forgetting about our Ethan encounter. Yeah, fuck him. He's an asshole. I'll deal with him when I have to.

"Then, if you don't mind giving me some time...I'll tell you what you need to know." She swallows hard before licking at her lips and that same urge I had of wanting to kiss her a few days ago suddenly overwhelms me again to the point where I back away from her slightly.

This is wrong. I can't be having these thoughts about her. I mean, it's not like I'll get anywhere anyway. It's Delilah. We're barely friends to begin with. I'm just going to say it's because I haven't been laid in a while. Not since I've been here. Yeah.

"That's all I ask." I finally speak up and she nods still looking a little embarrassed by all this.

"Are we...cool? Are we ok?" She inquires, staring at me hopefully.

My lips slowly curve into a large smile before I pull her towards me and I swing my arm over her shoulders. "Yeah we're cool." I admit, leaning down to give her a light kiss on her cheek which stuns her momentarily.

"O-o-ok." She stutters and I laugh loudly.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed." I coo and she simply rolls her eyes at me before smirking.

Yup, she's back.

"Whatever Justin." She sniggers.

I give her a quick glance before swinging the door open so we can strut inside and rejoin the party.

I spot Trace and Rachel eyeing us with amused expressions on their faces when we walk in but I ignore them, giving Delilah my full attention as I escort her over to Sandra and Michelle.

"We have some time still before my birthday is officially over to make up for the fun we missed." I tell Delilah.

"Ok, then we should have a dance off." Delilah pipes in while handing Sandra the bottle of water in her hand.

I burst out laughing, trying to catch my breath so I can respond to her. It doesn't help that she's grinning at me goofily.

"You're speaking my language girl. You're so on!"

10.  Can't Hide From The Past

Part 1

February

Weeks Later

In the School Gym

"Pick up the pace ladies! The cheerleaders run faster than you!"

As I walk into the school gym to take a seat on the bleachers, I hear coach Lambert screaming at the potential team players who all came out for tryouts today.

Laughing softly, I take a seat courtside and quickly wave to Sandra and Michelle when I spot them off on the other side of the gym practicing their cheers.

Yes, my two best friends are cheerleaders for the ‘Eagles.' No, it's not something I talk about because I personally don't support cheerleading even if it's supposed to be a ‘sport.'

This is just another example of my friends and I being complete opposites, yet we work well together.

That's all there is to it really.

My attention quickly sways though when the coach blows his whistle loudly.

"Personal Foul! Timberlake, free throw line!"

I focus on the game and smile when I notice one of the other guys from the opposing team sends Justin the ball.

Yes, the only reason I even came in here was to watch Justin tryout for the team.

I'm not the only student in here either. There are a few lingering around as well but I don't care about that.

My eyes are trained on Justin, watching how he bounces the ball a few times with ease as he lifts his head and stares at the hoop.

Damn. I'm actually thinking about thanking the coach for making Justin a ‘skin' since they're playing 'shirts' and 'skins.'

He's only wearing a pair of USA basketball shorts with his socks and sneakers. His upper torso is completely bare and glistening with sweat.

The muscles in his back contract and relax a few times before he lifts the ball and aims it at the net then releases it.

It goes sailing through the air and straight through the net, making a swishing sound.

"Point for skins!" Coach Lambert calls out before the ball is tossed back to Justin. "One more shot Timberlake, make it count." He states and Justin looks over at him before nodding.

"Yeah coach." Justin speaks up but then pauses, bouncing the ball a few times as his head turns slightly in my direction.

When we lock eyes, I smile shyly for him and wave a little. He grins brightly and gives me a wink before his attention is back on the basket he has to make.

Man he's gorgeous.

Shit, did I actually just think that? Wow. That's so unacceptable.

I mean, he's just Justin.

Jumping in fright when I hear the coach blow his whistle again, I look at the scoreboard and realize Justin made the second shot.

The game quickly resumes with the players running down to the opposite end of the court.

There're like twenty seconds left on the clock and the teams are actually almost tied with skins 81 and shirts 82. This next shot is important for them.

"Come on! Defense!" Coach yells.

I watch as one of the guys on the shirts team maneuvers over the court with the ball about the make the winning basket when Justin appears out of nowhere and steals the ball, passing it to one of his teammates.

I hear some of the cheerleaders squeal in excitement and I roll my eyes, secretly praying that they can make that last shot.

The ball is back in Justin's hands in a few seconds flat and he takes off down the court.

"Damn, that kid's fast." Coach says softly only standing a few feet away from me before he writes down something on his clipboard. "Ten seconds ladies!"  He yells again and I feel my breath lodge in my throat when Justin gets ready to shoot from the three point line.

"No, don't do it...get closer..." I whisper, biting my nails.

Moving out of his opponent's way so they can't block his shot, Justin easily jumps up before releasing the ball through the air towards the hoop.

My eyes widen and I stand, feeling like this is playing out in slow motion until I hear a swooshing sound.

"Game! Skins win!" Coach calls out before all the guys on the court start chattering or cheering.

Smiling, I reclaim my seat clapping lightly for everyone who played.

"Bring it in girls!" Coach calls out and everyone makes their way off the court, some congratulating Justin along the way.

Lifting his head, Justin waves and smiles for me and I wave back before grabbing my book-bag to leave.

While the coach is talking to them, I stand and start heading down towards the exit of the gym shouting ‘hey' in Sandra and Michelle's direction when they call out to me. "I'll see you guys later!" I tell them and they nod in return before getting back to their practice.

"Lilah! Hey! Wait up!"

Whirling around, I see Justin jogging towards me with his t-shirt draped over his shoulder.

He stops right in front of me and leans down to give me a huge hug.

"Oh my god! Justin! You're sweaty get off!" I scream, his body heat engulfing me as he squeezes me for effect and straightens his posture, causing my feet to leave the floor momentarily. "Ah! Put me down Justin!" I demand and he obliges, placing me back down and releasing his hold on me.

I narrow my eyes at him but he's just looking at me, grinning like an idiot.

"Great, now I smell like you." I snap, wiping at my damp blazer and shirt.

Surprisingly, I'm not nearly as disgusted as I thought I'd be. Had it been anyone else, I would have inflicted some serious physical pain on them.

"That's not a bad thing though. That's actually a good thing." Justin voices and I stare at him strangely. "Guys won't mess with you if you smell like a guy yourself." He reasons and I can't help but laugh. He's a little crazy that one.

"Uh huh."

"So where were you off to? Weren't you even going to wait for me to shower and change so you could tell me how great I was?" Justin inquires before grabbing his t-shirt and throwing it on.

Aw, no don't do that! I was enjoying my view of your abs idiot!

And I will not feed into the ego either, even if I'll admit that he was amazing out on the court.

"You did good out there, I'm proud of you." I voice and he smirks. "And, I have homework to complete so that's why I was leaving so I could get an early start." I supply and he frowns deeply.

"It's Friday Lilah. There are no classes on the weekend. You can't be serious."

"Well no, but..."

"But nothing. Look, I'm not even going to shower anymore because I know that when I come back out you won't be here." Justin points out and at least, he knows me well enough to predict that.

"Yeah you're right." I laugh and he groans, tugging me to walk with him to the exit of the gym. "But damn Justin, you need a shower badly." I wrinkle my nose for effect and he chuckles.

"I thought you were into the whole freaky, masculine, sweaty basketball player fantasy thing?" He muses and I snort. "Because if you are, I'm your guy..."

"How does your ego even fit in this world?" I jibe and his laughs instantly increase as we stroll out of the gym and start heading towards the dorms.

"Cute, real cute Lilah. I'll take a shower in the dorms. I haven't seen you all day and wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out later. Couldn't risk you disappearing again. But thanks for coming out to watch my tryouts."

"You're welcome. Sorry I missed most of it. I was trying to complete this stupid essay for my advanced writing class. I'm sure you'll make the team though." I tell him.

"I hope so. Coach said he'd have the list up on the bulletin board next week so I'm keeping my fingers crossed." Justin utters and I nod.

"At least the team wasn't here today to intimidate you all. They sometimes come into tryouts and try to psyche out the guys trying out for the team."

"Ethan, Ryan and the rest of them can kiss my ass. I couldn't be bothered with them and you shouldn't either Lilah. We haven't had any more encounters with them yet and Ryan leaves me alone for the most part so just drop it." Justin growls angrily and I cringe, not saying anything else.

Damn, ever since his birthday he's completely written them off. If anyone makes a mistake and talks about them, he changes the topic. I know I'm part to blame but so far, Justin's doing really well in having patience with me. He's really waiting for when I'm ready to tell him what's going on. It's just that, I'm not sure if or when I'll ever be ready.

But he hasn't said anything else to me since that night of the party and our encounter with Ethan.

I don't know. I'm a little skeptic and a little worried. Sometimes, I wonder if something's happened with him in the past few weeks that he's not telling me about. He usually plays it off when I ask him how he's doing but his aggressive nature in reference to the jocks is becoming worse.

Maybe it's just nerves. I mean, I don't care what Justin says, he has to be a little bit nervous about making the team. He must know that the guys won't make it easy for him. He's going to be like their ‘punching bag,' not literally, but technically. Ethan won't make Justin's transition into the team easy at all. I can't understand for the life of me why Justin is even putting himself through this.

Guys and their egos...

"So what did you want to do later?" I ask Justin as we stroll towards the male dorm rooms.

"If you're willing to wait for me, I'll shower, change and then we'll head over to your dorm for you to get ready. We can maybe go out. Do you want to go to Manhattan? It's still early. We could catch a movie or something. I'm so tired of this place. I'll make a few calls to have a ride pick us up." He mutters and I giggle.

"You haven't even been here a full semester and you're already frustrated with Higher Heights. What about those of us who've been attending here for almost four years?" I question and he laughs heartily as we make our way to his floor.

"Sucks to be you." He chortles and I shrug. Can't argue with that.

As we walk down the hall towards Justin's dorm room we spot Manny coming in our direction and Justin groans loudly.

"Afternoon folks." Manny greets us and I smile for him but Justin simply rolls his eyes.

Uh, ok...what's with the snippy attitude?

"Are you here to recite some rule I'm breaking head boy?" Justin snaps and my eyes widen. "Because Delilah's not staying, she's just waiting for me so we can head out. Do I need your permission for that as well?"

"Justin!" I scold him but he ignores me.

"You're safe Justin." Manny gives him a tight smile and Justin nods, gripping my hand in his so we can leave but Manny stops us. "Actually..." Manny begins and I watch as Justin bites his lower lip harshly. "That depends on where you all are heading off to. Because, you do know that once you live on campus, you can't travel outside without the school knowing what's up. If anything happens to a student outside school grounds, the school will be held responsible and we don't want that. As long as you all remain on campus, that's fine. Headmaster Williams is the only one who issues off campus activities and he already left for the weekend so...but, you all have a nice weekend." With that said, Manny struts off leaving us behind.

Wow, what the hell is going on? What was that all about?

"Justin?" I ask in curiosity and he just groans in annoyance.

"Kid's a fucking douche Lilah. Don't worry about it. I'm just glad that I'll be getting my place next week so I won't have to be living here on campus anymore."

That's the only thing he says to me in response before we make it to his door and he swings it open to strut inside.

So, he's moving out of the dorms and off campus? Wow. Well, I know he said that's how it was supposed to be in the first place but I kind of like having Justin around on campus now.

After how he stuck up for me with Ethan, I couldn't put him down. I know I said that I was going to avoid him, but how could I after what happened the night of the party?

It showed me that Justin cared, though I don't see why. It also made me realize that maybe Justin might be good for me. Maybe he might be the friend I was longing for. It won't be the same with him living off campus, but, I'm not about to tell him that I want him to stay or I'm going to miss him or something.

I just wish that I wasn't so scared of telling him about me, about my past.

I know Justin deserves to know now that we're supposedly friends, but how and where do I even begin to tell him how fucked up I was and how stupid I was to ever get mixed up with Ethan and all his shit? Justin says he won't look at me differently, but I beg to differ.

The last thing I need is for Justin to have the same mentality about me that some of the other students here maybe have, even if they'd never say it or admit it or even talk about it.

I'm not surprised when we walk in and I see Ryan there sprawled out on his bed in only some sweats reading over his math book and getting his homework done.

I think he's the only guy on the team who takes his school work seriously. All the other guys are depending on their basketball skills to get them through school and possibly to the NBA.

They're going to be really disappointed when reality crashes down on them and they realize that not all of them will make it.

"Ryan." Justin mutters, heading over to his side of the room to grab his things for the bathroom.

"Justin." Ryan says flatly, never lifting his head from his books. "And Delilah." He adds in, a soft sigh escaping him.

Well, talk about a greeting.

"Uh hey Ry." I state, taking a seat at Justin's work desk.

"You know, that Manny kid is really looking for me to trip him one day." Justin suddenly blurts out while grabbing his towel and other shower accessories. "I'm pretty sure the other guys don't have to deal with his shit like I do. He's always rattling off some fucking warning or rule to me. I mean, give it up dude! So, I violated the uniform dress code once since I've been here..."

"Twice." I point out, interrupting Justin and he turns to look at me. "Don't give me that look Justin. You walked into your music class wearing jeans and a t-shirt last week." I laugh at the memory.

"I overslept and my uniform was dirty. I wasn't going to wear a dirty uniform Lilah. Shit, I would have done laundry by the end of the day." Justin snickers at the memory. "Point is, so what if I did? That doesn't give Manny the right to give me special treatment...which by the way I don't want." Justin huffs, shaking his head in contempt before slinging his towel over his shoulder. He should be lucky Manny didn't report him that second time instead of bitching about it.

I watch as Justin grabs his toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and body scrub and I can't help but laugh at the sight of him.

He's kind of cute when he's mad.

"What's so funny?" He smiles.

"Just go clean up Justin. You smell." I titter and he curves a brow at me.

"Thanks." He mumbles and I grin brightly for him.

"You do know the only reason Manny's extra hard on you is because of Ethan right?" Ryan speaks up and Justin and I turn to look at him.

"Meaning?" Justin questions with a deep frown on his face.

Ryan finally looks up from his books to glare at the both of us. He eyes me for a moment before giving Justin his full attention. "Listen, I'm only telling you this because I'm not exactly looking for things to get ugly. I'm not looking for another suspension on my records." Ryan begins, eyeing me when he says this and I bow my head, looking away from him. "Ethan told Manny to keep an eye on you Justin. That's why Manny is harder on you than on the rest of us. He's looking for a reason to report you, looking to see if you're breaking any rules because plain and simple, Ethan wants you gone. I warned you to not mess with him man. You don't know what the dude's capable of. Yes, he's my friend, but even as his friend I'm not afraid to say that he does tend to go overboard sometimes."

"Yeah, well you can tell Ethan all high and mighty to kiss my ass because I'm not going anywhere until my time is up. Fuck that shit." Justin growls.

"Suit yourself. I warned you. You practically declared war with him a few weeks ago when he came back to the dorms fuming after supposedly having an encounter with you and Delilah." Ryan states and I can feel my heartbeat speed up.

Oh god, please shut up Ryan.

"Ethan needs to get over his self and just leave Lilah alone. She doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. Dude's having an ego trip or something." Justin sighs.

"Really? You think that's all it is? Interesting." Ryan smiles while looking at me closely. "I take it you haven't asked miss Marshall here what's going on, or maybe you've asked her and she hasn't told you. Either way, I suggest you find out before you decide to put your hand in fire for her."

Oh god, oh god please shut up Ryan. Now is not the time!

I'm so petrified I can't even breathe right.

Justin takes a quick glance at me in curiosity but he doesn't say anything. He simply brushes Ryan off. "Why should I listen to you and you're Landing's friend?" Justin asks Ryan who shrugs.

"Don't listen to me then. But you've got to realize Justin, this isn't some big secret. You can ask any of the seniors who are still here who were there freshman year since they were freshmen themselves. A lot of crazy shit's gone down in this school. Higher Heights has a very colorful history. The only reason its records remain flawless is because the school heads do great jobs of cleaning up messes and never discussing them or bringing them up ever again. It's easy for you to get Ethan off your back. If you wanted to, you could know everything you needed to know about me, Ethan and just about any kid who goes to this school...even Delilah...just by asking. Just because our school histories aren't broadcasted for every new student who attends here, doesn't mean they don't exist. Delilah of all people should know that." Ryan explains, tilting his head to the side while he looks at me with a devious grin on his face.

Great. Just perfect.

I wish I could kill Ryan right now. He's such a fucking jerk!

"Ok man, whatever. I don't care about all of that. Just tell your boy to back off or I'll make him back off." Justin states with a shake of his head. "Lilah I'll be back. And I don't give a fuck about what Manny says or does either. We're going to take that trip and just chill. That is, if you don't mind."  Justin adds in and before I can even respond he's out the door, leaving me alone with Ryan of all people.

"You're such a fucking asshole sometimes Ryan!" I hiss angrily and he smiles with a shake of his head.

"Maybe Lilah, but I think you're more of a villain than I am to be keeping Justin in the dark like this. I think he deserves to know about your past here so he can make a fair decision on if he wants to be mixed up in your shit."

"Ethan and I are over!" I scream at him. "We're not talking anymore, we're not friends anymore! So drop it!"

"But you all never did solve your fucking issues and now it's coming back to bite the both of you in the ass. Just because the school brushed that shit under the rug doesn't make it better or easier for either of you. I wish you'd just grow some balls for once Delilah." Ryan sneers and I glare at him angrily.

"Do not tell Justin anything. I swear to god..."

"If I don't someone else will. Delilah, you don't want him finding out from anyone else, trust me. Like I said, all he has to do is ask. You really need to get it together and talk to the guy before you lose him completely. I can see that you like him, though I don't see why. Ethan sees it too which is maybe why he's reevaluating what happened between the two of you in freshman year. You won't believe me but Ethan still cares, as fucked up and as twisted as he is. He's capable of caring. He fucked up, he made a mistake. But you're no saint either. You fucked up too. The both of you did."

"I know, I know but that's in the past though. I don't see why it's such a big deal."

"It's not. Not to the rest of the school. School scandals happen all the time then when something new comes along, the previous scandal is old news. We're seniors. We're the only ones left. The freshmen, juniors and sophomores don't know. But you're hanging with Justin, you're dealing with Justin and if he makes the team..."

"Ok, ok, I get it god! This isn't fair though. I shouldn't have to relive that time in my life. I was stupid."

"We were young Delilah. We were all stupid. All you have to do is clear the air with Ethan, tell Justin what he needs to know about you and move on. It's not that hard. But I know you...and you're going to make this into a big deal when it shouldn't be. Justin and Ethan don't have to be enemies if you all would just do the adult thing and fucking solve this shit before it gets out of hand." Ryan barks and I cringe, looking down in shame.

He's right.

But how the hell do I tell Justin about me? I don't like people knowing about me. It's so hard for me to trust people and make new friends. I like being alone. Alone is safe. I'm protected from ever getting hurt when I'm alone.

And if I told Justin about my past, how can I be guaranteed that he won't make a big deal of it? Would we even still be friends? How can I know for sure that he won't be upset and maybe even try to beat up Ethan in the process? I've noted the protective streak in him. I have no idea how this will turn out.

"You're right." I finally voice weakly to Ryan who nods in agreement.

"You might want to get on that and quickly. Coach is posting up the new roster next week and if Justin is as good as I think he is, he's going to make the team. I think you know what that means."

"I know. I just...there's just no easy way to tell someone you end up caring about that you don't have the squeakiest clean past. I mean, a person's past can have a major effect on the relationships that they build with people Ryan."

"Shit happens Lilah; you need to learn how deal with it. Don't worry, I'm sure you all will be fine. I won't say anything, but I suggest you start thinking about how you're going to tell Justin what he needs to know about you."

"I hate this." I whine.

"That's life cous. Shit happens, life goes on..."

"I never could understand how you and Ethan ended up being such good friends. You're nothing alike." I laugh out. "And, you're nothing like the other jocks."

"Hey, Uncle Howard and Mr. Landing were the ones who introduced us in high school. Ethan's a cool guy for a friend. He's just a monster if he considers you the enemy." Ryan explains and it's true.

"My dad and Ethan's dad aren't friends anymore though." I point out.

There's a knowing look on Ryan's face before he bites his lip in thought. We try to stay away from family issues for obvious reasons so I know he's about to change the topic.

"Like I said, shit happens." Ryan reiterates and that's the last thing that's said between us because Justin just walked into the room dripping wet.

"Forgot my shampoo." Justin drawls before grabbing it and quickly disappearing back out the door.

My mind burns with the memory of the fact that I just saw him in his towel for like five seconds flat.

Damn.

"I can see why Ethan feels threatened by the pop star." Ryan snickers and I glare at him.

"Why?"

"Because Justin just might be gaining the one thing Ethan always regretted he lost and could never get back." Ryan chortles softly before returning to his work.

"Huh." I scoff, looking away from Ryan as an indicator that this conversation is over.

I know what Ryan said is true. I should come clean with Justin and let him get to know me before he gets mixed up with me. He deserves to know who I am because he's making an effort for me to know him as well.

But, it's not easy you know? I know people say that the past comes back to haunt you and this is a clear example of it.

Still, how can I even begin to open up to Justin?

I mean, I don't even know how to tell Justin that Ryan is my cousin on my dad's side since they clearly don't like each other, much less for telling him about my history with Ethan.

Ugh! Sometimes, I really do hate my life.

11.  Can't Hide From The Past

Part 2

Later That Day

Manhattan, New York

"It's my turn." I verbalize.

"Shoot." Delilah says enthusiastically, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Truth or dare?" I inquire and she grimaces.

"Uh Justin, I thought we were playing ‘I spy?'" She asks flabbergasted and I chuckle softly.

"I just switched things up a bit. Last game was getting old." I point out and Delilah glares at me, not convinced.

"Uh huh..." She says flatly and I give her an innocent smile. We're so childish sometimes. But, it's fun and I like it. "Well..." She pauses, looking around. "Truth; but hold that thought, I'll be right back. I need to use the bathroom."

With that said, she jumps up from her seat and takes off to the ladies room leaving me alone and amused.

I rest back in my seat, hugging my long black jacket to my chest since it's cold out.

We're actually in the heart of Manhattan at Starbucks café no less hanging out after the movies.

Today has been a very fun filled, ‘we could get in a shitload of trouble if anyone found out we left campus', kind of day. And I'm loving every minute of it.

After the movie, Delilah and I decided that we needed to warm up and figured Starbucks was a good bet since their coffees are to die for.

I love winter, but there are times when I'd give anything for some warmth. It doesn't help that the weather up here has been kind of peculiar this season. But, Manhattan is always cold.

As I scan my surroundings, I pull down my black beanie over my head feeling a little paranoid of being spotted. I know for a fact, if Mike knew I was out right now without protection he'd have my head.

Not to mention that even if Delilah agreed to do this with me, I'd take the blame if we ever got caught and she got in trouble.

But, I really needed this though and I know she did too. We both needed to get away, her more than me. I don't know that much about her yet, but, I can see that Delilah is too complacent with playing it safe. Plus, I'm starting to realize that Higher Heights isn't the best environment for her based on whatever history she has there.

I know what Ryan said but, I'm not going to ask. I'm not going to ask about any of them. I have a feeling that I won't like hearing about Delilah from anyone else but her. So, I'm being patient and waiting but there's only so much waiting I can do.

It doesn't help that I miss my old life with my family and friends. If Delilah's the one person I'm going to trust at Higher Heights and open up to, I think she should do the same with me. It's only fair.

I quickly straighten my posture when I notice her heading back to our table at the far back in the corner of the café. It's as private as we're going to get. Luckily, there aren't many people around so that's a plus.

When she reclaims her seat, I look at her silently for a moment fidgeting in her seat before I take a sip of my coffee.

"You look really different when you're not wearing your uniform." I point out, studying the thick beige jacket she's wearing which matches her leggings, boots and top. She has a cute matching hat on, to shield her head from the cold as well.

"Really? Because you look the same to me either way." Delilah giggles and I smile, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Uh huh. So, you chose truth." I state, reminding her of our game which really isn't much of a game here.

I have a goal, and this is the best way I can get her interested in it.

"Oh yeah I did. Hit me with your best question." She beams, but somehow I have a feeling that when I tell her my question she won't be smiling anymore.

"Ok..." I pretend to think for a moment before saying what's on my mind. "Tell me about yourself...everything you're willing to share and be truthful about it." I voice and her smooth face instantly creases into a deep frown.

"That's not a question Justin." She mutters softly, breaking our gaze.

Looking down at the hot liquid in my cup I sigh, biting my lip slightly. "Fine, would you please tell me about yourself?" I ask again calmly, hopefully.

"There's not much to know..." Delilah begins but she drifts when I lift my head and I glare at her.

"Bullshit Lilah. You have no reason to lie to me. I don't get why you're so hesitant. I'm just a guy right? A guy who's your friend and who cares. Call me crazy, but, it's hard to be someone's friend if you don't know much about them." I explain and she nods in understanding but remains mute, her frame now visibly tense.

It takes her a while to gather her thoughts and I'm very much aware that this isn't some stupid game we're playing here. This is serious.

My sole intention was to make her comfortable enough to share some piece of herself with me; but now, I'm rethinking that decision. I really don't want her to feel like I'm demanding or controlling or forcing her...

"But you're not just some guy Justin." Delilah suddenly blurts out and my interest instantly skyrockets. Well, this is new considering that's how she's treated me since we met. "You're a celebrity!  And I know that. I do. It's crazy, but sometimes I forget that you have this whole other life outside of Higher Heights. But then, I remember and I'm brought back down to reality and realize I'm just fooling myself. You have no reason to even be sitting here with me right now Justin but you are, by choice. I don't know what to really make of that...I guess it's kind of weird for me and I'm afraid that if you get to know me, like really know me, we won't be friends anymore because you maybe wouldn't want to be mixed up with the likes of me."  She says with a pout. "It's kind of lame and a little annoying for me since I didn't even want us to be friends in the first place."

I laugh at that but quickly sober up.

I'm almost tempted to stretch across the table and smack that pout off her face.

I hate it when she cuts herself down like this. Low self-confidence and low self-esteem are not attractive. She never pegged me as that type of person before until I started noticing the vulnerable girl hiding behind all of her smart, witty and sometimes curt remarks.

"You've got to give me a little more credit than that Lilah. I'm not perfect either. Hell, no one's perfect. You need to stop acting like I'll run away screaming for the hills if I learn bad things about you, if I know your flaws. I'm still here sweetie and I've seen for myself that you're not flawless. But, what makes any type of relationship successful is being able to accept someone with their flaws. You should try me. You might be pleasantly surprised." I grin for Delilah and she blushes massively, bowing her head to stare at her untouched latté.

"This is one of those times when you appear to be wise beyond your years Justin and I know it's because you've experienced a lot in your life. Things I could only imagine." Delilah gushes.

"Comes with the path and career I chose but I don't regret it. It's one of the best decisions I've made. But I will admit I've fucked up along the way...big time. That's what makes us who we are. Being able to move on from our mistakes and better ourselves by learning from them." I explain. "You should try it sometime." I quip and she shoots me a warning glare which I totally ignore because she's smiling.

"Ok, I guess I do owe it to you to maybe try this opening up thing." Delilah decides and I shake my head in agreement.

"You owe it to yourself to try." I correct her and she nods, taking in a deep breath.

"Well in that case, I might as well tell you my life history in a nutshell. Maybe then you'll stop harassing me so much." She says smartly and I curve a brow.

"Oh? What makes you think so?" I ask.

"Because, there'll be no more mystery to me anymore and you won't have to try and figure me out. I know you guys like the chase more than anything, even if this isn't a relationship deal."

"Technically, this is a relationship."

"What?" Delilah snaps in shock and I laugh lightly.

"Friendships are relationships too." I clarify and she mouth's an ‘oh.'

"Of course. I knew that." She waves me off.

"Sure you did." I whisper, not believing her. "Just admit it." I tease.

"Admit what?" She gasps, her eyes widening slightly.

"That you think I'm hot and you want me." I muse, wriggling my brows suggestively for her.

I hate tension and there's clearly some tension between us.

I will do and say whatever I can to lighten the atmosphere.

"Ok Justin, we're swaying away from the topic here. My life history remember?" Delilah voices, brushing off my last statement and I hold my tongue, resting back in my seat and folding my arms across my chest as I get more comfortable.

I still think she's a cutie when she's all embarrassed and uneasy around me. It's fun making her uncomfortable but I have to give her props. She plays it off effortlessly.

"I'm all ears." I urge her to continue, my heartbeat suddenly picking up as I wait in anticipation for the next statement that leaves her lips.

"This is so weird for me because I don't talk about myself or my past or family for that matter. It's just who I am, but, I guess you're an exception. I should uh, maybe start off by telling you that your roommate Ryan is uh...um my cousin on my dad's side." Delilah swallows harshly when my eyes widen in disbelief but I think I'm doing a really good job of not giving my feelings or thoughts away. I'm not about to interrupt her now when she's willing to share.

Still, Ryan's her cousin? Un-fucking-believable. I did not see that one coming. I guess it makes sense though.

"Please...continue." I force out as her gray-browns search my blues closely.

She's maybe trying to read me, probably wondering what's going through my mind. As of now, my mind is completely blank. I'm just going to be a sponge and absorb whatever else she has to say.

"Right, well my dad's name is Howard Marshall and my mom is Linda Marshall. My dad's a white British man from England and my Mom's an African American from Boston. I was born in England but raised in Boston. Both my parents are into real estate so they're doing pretty well for themselves. My older brother Leon is attending Yale on his last year actually. He worked for two years with dad in the business before he went off to school. Um and then there's me." She shrugs and I smile at that.

"So let's see, I grew up in a regular household, regular family...nothing spectacular. I'm the artist, the dreamer in the family. My dad's brother, uncle Lawrence is Ryan's dad. Ryan is English as well but you'd never guess that because he grew up in America just like I did. His mom and dad are in England though. Ryan didn't live with us at first; he lived with his aunt on his mom's side but I always saw him growing up because we were all in Boston up until high school. My dad thought it was a good idea for Ryan and me to attend one of the top high schools in New York, so he moved the family out to New York for our high school years. At that time, my dad got the idea from a client he was working on selling a house to. That client, ironically enough, ended up being Ethan's dad, Mr. Landing. I think, that's how it all started."

There's a pause as Delilah finally takes a sip of her drink before she clears her throat.

This is really hard for her. I'm starting to wonder, just how many people know everything there is to know about her?

"Mr. Landing is in politics and is a very influential man. Having him as a client was a plus. He always spoke highly of my dad so my dad received a lot of positive feedback on his real estate business. It wasn't long before my dad and Ethan's dad built a friendship. Ryan didn't have many friends at the time since he usually kept to himself, so Mr. Landing thought it was a good idea to introduce Ryan to his son Ethan since they were about the same age and into basketball. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out that they hit it off really well. Ryan was hanging with Ethan long before I got to really meet him. They made the basketball team in high school and formed their own little clique of friends. They were the jocks even back in high school and I was the smart one, the odd girl who was deep and creative and breathed everything art related. I didn't have many friends and got picked on because of that since people thought I was weird. Ryan and I were close but, he wasn't my brother you know? We got along great but also fought a lot too."

"I think, on our second year of high school was when I really got to meet Ethan. He started coming around the house more often since he and Ryan grew to be best friends and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew, I was officially inducted into their circle of friends. We all hit it off and hung out a lot. I ended up spending a lot of time around the cheerleaders since they were always with the jocks. I was like the odd one out of the group but because Ryan and Ethan said I was cool, I was cool." Delilah divulges, laughing bitterly at the memory.

Wow, so, this is all starting to make sense to me now, but for some reason, I'm a little worried of what else is to come in this story.

"Right, so fast forwarding through our high school experience, we became a really tight group of friends and when we were all on our senior year leading up to graduation, Ethan and Ryan both were eligible to receive basketball scholarships. I think our senior year was what turned everything around. Ethan knew he was finishing high school and his dream was always to play for the NBA. When his dad spoke about sending him to the best school in the country, Higher Heights, where he was guaranteed to get drafted if he played for the school team, there was no question in Ethan's mind that he would make it. I guess, the whole basketball dream started getting to his head."

"Because Ethan and Ryan were so close, Ryan decided that Higher Heights would be his school of choice as well. Ryan's extremely intelligent so it was an easy acceptance for him even without the basketball scholarship. My parents only wanted the best for me and Higher Heights has a great art program. They figured hey, my best friend and cousin were going there so I might as well go too and I agreed at the time thinking it was a great idea. At least, our group wouldn't be separated you know?"

"Let me guess, this is where it gets complicated." I finally speak up, and Delilah looks at me with big glassy eyes, nodding timidly as she takes another large gulp of her drink.

"In senior year, Ethan and I we...we started liking each other a little more than friends and figured hey, we were already friends, it wasn't going to change anything right? We were just taking our relationship to the next level and if things didn't work out we could still be friends. Ryan always said it was a bad idea since we already invested so much into our friendship but we didn't  listen to him and went out a few times until one day, Ethan asked me to be his girlfriend at one of their huge basketball games and stupid as I was I said yes. He asked me during halftime by having the question "Delilah would you be my girlfriend and date to senior prom at the end of the year?" flash across the large teleprompter screen in the gym. It was cheesy but I thought it was the sweetest thing and people made a big deal of it weeks after we became official. That's a big reason why I don't do basketball games...because, every time I'm in a gym, these stupid memories come up and I try for them not to. But anyway, that's neither here nor there."

"This is a long-ass autobiography." I chuckle weakly, trying to lighten Delilah's mood. She's practically on the verge of tears now and I'm tempted to ask her to stop but I'm so fucking curious as to what went wrong with their group I can't bring myself to stop her.

"It really is, but it's good to let it out." She agrees and I nod.

"Ok, so, you all got together, went to the prom, became high school sweethearts, all that jazz. Great." I blurt out, suddenly feeling disgusted at the entire concept.

What Delilah saw in Ethan I will never know, but that's beside the point. The guy's a jerk now. He's clearly not the guy he used to be anymore or the guy she fell in love with. Well, she hasn't exactly mentioned the word love so...I'm guessing here...

"So, what exactly happened when you all got accepted into Higher Heights and started going there? You said it was freshman year right? What went so wrong that you all are practically enemies now? I know you said Ethan changed for the worst because he became ridiculously popular or whatever, but that can't be all it is Lilah. I know there's a lot more to it because whatever happened between you all changed you too. It made you into the person you are today and as much as I think you're a great person when you're not hiding in your shell, you clearly don't think the same.  It would really help me to know especially whenever Ethan decides to give me his shit." I mutter, the mere thought of the jackass hurting Lilah in any way enraging me for some reason.

"You're right Justin. There's much more to it. And, even Ryan suggested that I talked to you about it. While this is going to be super hard for me, he's right. I owe you that." Delilah cringes in thought, biting her lower lip as she prepares herself to spill her guts and I lean forward in my seat, all ears.

She inhales deeply, parting her lips to speak but then suddenly something happens.

Frowning, my eyes frantically search our surroundings when I hear a loud buzz before my ringtone starts blaring.

"Shit..." I growl, resting back in my seat to root out my phone from my pocket and silence it. I glare at the caller Id, feeling my heart leap up to my throat when Jess's name flashes on the screen. "Fuck...uh..." I ignore the call, sending it to voicemail before I place the cell phone down on the table, hoping Jess will get the picture. I wipe at my face nervously then tug on my beanie idly. "I'm so sorry Lilah. Please continue." I coax her when I notice that she's glaring at me oddly.

"Ok, well around the time Ethan and I started having our problems..." But Delilah is easily interrupted when my phone starts buzzing again.

"Aw come on!" I hiss softly, not wanting to draw any attention to us since we're in public.

"Maybe...maybe you should get that." Delilah voices and no, no don't say that!

"No. It's fine; I'll just call back later." I ignore the call again, putting the device on vibrate, suddenly wishing that professor Scotland still had possession of my phone.

This is not happening right now.

Delilah glowers at me, a light smile tugging at her lips before she rests back in her seat with a knowing look on her face.

"I'm sorry Lilah. Please continue..." I plead but she's not granted a chance to even respond when my phone goes off for a third time.

I glare at the vibrating phone trying to figure out for the life of me why fate's fucking with me like this.

"I really think you should get that Justin. Whoever's calling, it might be important. I'm not going anywhere." Delilah gives me a look that tells me she's not going to continue with her story until I take this call. God damn it.

Grabbing my phone, I hit the talk button, wondering if I should excuse myself to take the call or stay right where I'm seated. I decide on the latter and hesitantly say ‘hello' into the line.

"Jess?" I say softly, hearing a lot of noise in her background.

"Justin!? Oh my god, Justin I finally found you!" She giggles into the line and I frown in perplexity.

"Uh, yeah..."

"Oh my gosh, I know this is super late...like weeks late but happy belated birthday! I'm so sorry I missed it. I tried getting you but it's like you're on another planet in that school." She drawls and I press the phone to my ear, trying to hear her clearly since her background is so loud.

"I can barely hear you Jess, but thanks. It's cool. Trace and Rach told me you sent your wishes." I voice.

It's true, they kept telling me how Jess missed me or whatever and kept asking them about me. I sort of didn't take them seriously then since I was more focused on Delilah but now, actually hearing Jess's voice...I feel conflicted.

"That's good. So are you good? I hope you're good! I hope I see you for summer. I miss you Just. I miss us..." She slurs, trailing off when some people call out to her in her background.

"Uh Jess? Can we talk about this another time? You sound...busy." I swallow harshly, taking the chance of looking up at Delilah. I'm a little thrown off when I see her in her phone texting away.

"No, now is good. Trace told me you had your cell! I'm sorry I didn't call sooner but I just miss you so much..." Jess hiccups right into the line and when I hear what sounds like a DJ in the background talking into a microphone, I start to realize what's going on here. She's out clubbing.

"Jess, are you drunk?" I ask suspiciously and she giggles wildly, confirming my suspicion. "Damn it Jessica." I groan angrily. She knows I hate it when she goes overboard. I mean, she's not a drinker so it doesn't take that much to make her intoxicated. Plus, I'm not even there with her. "You know I hate when you get like this. Who are you even with?" I question.

"Friends." She mumbles flatly. "But I'm ok, I'm ok."

She's so not ok.

"Uh huh." I utter, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I have to go now J, but we'll talk ok? I'll call you again soon. Hurry home Justin. I miss you."

"You too." I say quietly, not really wanting to actually voice that I miss her too even if I'm starting to realize that I kind of do.

"I love you J. Take care. Bye..."

"Ok, you take care of yourself Jess and ease up on the drinking. Bye."

I quickly end the call, switching my phone off entirely. I glare at it in my hands, mentally scolding myself that I didn't tell her I loved her back when I still do. Or at least, I think I do. That was just too awkward for me.

"Drunk dialing is never pretty." Delilah speaks up, shocking me back to reality.

"What?" I ask, looking up at her. "Oh yeah...uh...right that was Jessica...my uh..." 

What is Jess to me now? What are we really? I'm not even sure that I know anymore. It's kind of starting to bother me.    

Delilah laughs loudly, shaking her head at me before she stands and starts gathering her things to leave.

I smile bashfully for her, shrugging in the process. "What are you doing?" I inquire when I realize that she's pushing her chair in.

"We have to go. Sandra just text messaged me. Surprise inspections were issued and we have about two hours before our head boys and girls start making their rounds in the dorms." Delilah explains and I quickly jump to my feet.

"Shit..." I mutter.

"Yeah, it's dark out now; we've been out a while. We should maybe head back. If we leave now, we'll make it back in time." Delilah nods and I look at her closely, hesitantly agreeing with her.

I'm trying to figure out what she's thinking or even feeling right now. Her expressions give nothing away but I know Delilah enough to know that she's a master at hiding her true feelings. She was just pouring her heart to me a while ago and that wasn't an easy task for her.

If we hadn't been interrupted, I wonder if she would have willingly continued and told me everything or stopped mid-way.

I guess we'll never know because we've gathered our things and are now heading to the exit of Starbucks to catch our ride back to campus.

"Listen, Lilah, I'm sorry we were interrupted." I finally speak up as we carefully cross the street to head over to the ride I called from campus to take us out for the day.

"It's ok. Don't worry about it Justin." She dismisses me, patting my shoulder gently while giving me a light smile. "We'll just continue where we left off another time. No worries." She beams, and I glare at her, taking in a deep breath, the cold air filling my lungs.

"Sure, another time." I sigh, opening the door of the ride so she can get in first before I follow in after her.

I don't know why, but, I suddenly feel disappointed to the point where I'm basically pouting like some little kid.

I was really looking forward to Delilah shedding some more light on why she is the way she is. There's only so much I can learn just from observing her alone.

I think, the reason why I'm feeling a little downhearted and confused right now is because of the call I just got from my supposed drunk ex. It's that and the fact that the one person at Higher Heights, whom I actually feel comfortable enough to be myself with, still remains a mystery to me.

12. Friends and Foes

March

A week later

[Delilah's P.O.V]

"Class, please turn your books to chapter eight. We're going to continue with..."

Gasping when my math professor is interrupted in the middle of his speech, my eyes widen when Justin barges right into the lecture room without even knocking.

"Excuse me, son are you..."

"Hi, hey professor um, can I borrow Delilah please?" Justin speaks calmly with a large smile on his face.

"Oh god." I heave a sigh, sinking down in my seat when I hear the other students in the class start to snicker and whisper amongst themselves.

"Mr. Timberlake, this is highly unconventional behavior." Professor Hill says, passing his hands through his grey-streak auburn hair as he glares at Justin.

"I know, and I'm so sorry for interrupting your lecture. I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job and everyone is just thrilled to learn." Justin says seriously, his tone deep and even and I shut my eyes when some students laugh out.

"Well, thank you but that still doesn't excuse you from interrupting my class." Hill says.

Wow, hold up what? My eyes fly open and I frown, befuddled as to how Professor Hill could take Justin's statement as a compliment. It was clearly said in a mocking tone. You've got to be kidding me.

"So, may I see Delilah?" Justin grins, finally turning towards the class to seek me out. It doesn't take him long to find me since I'm sitting in the middle towards the back. We lock eyes with each other and some of the students turn in their seats to look at me as well.

Oh god, if I wanted this much attention I would have chosen the same career path as Justin.

"Mr. Timberlake, Delilah will see you after class. Aren't you supposed to be in class yourself?" Hill asks and Justin shakes his head before rooting out a folded piece of paper from his pant pocket.

"Yes, but I've been excused and so has Delilah." Justin states, handing Hill the paper.

Professor Hill carefully unfolds the note and reads over it silently. "Ah, this was signed by headmaster Williams."  He says in slight shock and confusion. "Well, that's fine." He decides, nodding in Justin's direction who's smiling smugly at him.

Oh boy.

"Delilah Marshall, you're free to go. Be sure to study chapter eight for the test next week and get your assignment from one of the students in the class. You're dismissed." Professor Hill speaks up before excusing himself from Justin to return to his text book and continue with his lecture.

I sit frozen in shock for a few seconds before I quickly gather my things and storm towards Justin to get away from all the other students' wondering eyes.

"Hey." Justin smiles when I walk up to him with my book-bag on my shoulder.

Groaning, I grip his hand and quickly yank him outside of the classroom with me not saying a word.

When we make it out into the deserted hallways since most of the other students are probably in class or in the study hall or library, I flip around to face Justin not amused.

"What the hell was that Justin!?" I snap at him and his head jerks back as he stares at me oddly.

"Well excuse me miss thang." He snaps his fingers for effect and my mouth gapes open.

"Don't do that." I sigh, shaking my head as a small smile graces my face.

"I just saved you from sudden death by boredom and this is the thanks I get?" Justin inquires, grinning.

"Oh you saved me."

This I have to hear.

"Hell yeah. Professor Hill is a bore. You know that Lilah. Don't even play." Justin states in an obvious manner.

That man I tell you. He's impossible sometimes.

"Justin, I have a test next week. You can't just pull me out of class like that. And how the hell did you even get headmaster Williams to sign that excuse note?"

"I have my ways." He mutters cockily and I groan yet again. "But if you must know, I told him I was going through a personal crisis that only you could help me with because you were the only person I trusted and would speak to in this godforsaken school. I'm not the type to throw around my status and the clout that I have because of who I am, but it needed to be done." Justin beams and I can't even say anything to that.

I'm totally speechless.

"Great." I finally mutter listlessly. "So, what's wrong? What's going on?" I ask concerned and Justin's smile brightens before he grips my hand in his and pulls me down the hall. "Where are we going?" I ask when we bend the corner and continue on our trip down the large hallways in Higher Heights.

"You'll see." Justin replies as we stop in front of the school's massive bulletin board. "Oh and I'm moving out of the dorms tomorrow. You should help me move. You'll get to see my new place." He adds in excitedly and I roll my eyes.

"Super." I mumble sarcastically and he gives me a look but says nothing. "So what is it Justin? What's the big reason why you dragged me here?"

"Look." He points to the bulletin board.

I turn to look at it in bewilderment. "What am I looking for?"

"Right there..." Justin points to a paper pinned up with a list of names.

I scan through it quickly realizing that it's the roster of who made the basketball team. "Oh my god..." I whisper when I reach to Justin's name.

Justin Timberlake - Shooting Guard.

"Oh my god, oh my god...you did it. You make the team for this season!?" I squeal with excitement, turning to look at him.

"Uh huh." He nods proudly, looking down at me with amusement.

"That's, that's amazing! It's rare to join the team in the middle of the season Justin! All the other names are for next season when the seniors graduate! Oh my god!" I say excitedly, jumping up and down.

And without a second thought, I easily lunge myself into Justin's awaiting arms, hugging him for dear life. "Congrats. Wow..."  I voice. "That means you get to play in the schools' championship games. Oh my god, NBA scouts are going to be there! This is insane!" I shriek, still hugging him as he lifts me off the floor and spins us around.

"I know, isn't it great?" Justin laughs loudly and I'm so ecstatic right now, I totally space out.

This is surreal. I mean, this is actually a dream he's always had. He always wondered if he would ever be good enough to get picked for the NBA and now he's going to get that chance to find out.

Justin did say that if he wasn't in music, he'd maybe be doing sports like basketball or playing golf. I never gave it much thought when he said it once when we were hanging out and just chatting but now...now I feel like some proud relative or friend or girlfriend or something.

Not missing a beat when he finally places me back down to stand, I pull away from him and grip his face in my palms giving him one quick glance before I pull him down towards me and plant a big kiss on his soft pink lips.

It doesn't take more than two seconds before we both freeze, my eyes shooting open when I realize what's happening.

What am I doing?

Oh my god...did I just...I just...I think I just...

Quickly gathering my senses, my hands drop and I easily pull away from Justin, my eyes still wide from shock as I glare at him.

He gives me an askance look, his blues filled with confusion as his brows curve upward and he licks his lips slowly.

I feel like I need to say something...anything.

I got carried away. We got carried away in the moment. Yeah, I should say that. I should maybe apologize. I mean, it wasn't even a real kiss. It was like a quick peck on the lips...right? Yeah, so I should just...

"Justin...I...I'm sor..." But that's as far as I get because before I'm even aware of what's happening, I feel myself being shoved up against the hallway wall before Justin's lips are against mine again.

I gasp, the air lodging in my throat when he grips my waist tightly and presses his body against mine.

I have no idea what to do or how to react so I just stand there, paralyzed in fear, afraid that if I even make an attempt to move my legs and entire body will betray me.

Ok, so, think Delilah. Think! Justin's kissing you! What do you do?

I don't think I have the willpower to stop this.

What the fuck do I do!?

What can I do? Not a damn thing...except maybe...

Kiss him back.

And I do, finally caving, my body relaxing against his hold.

I kiss him back.

I kiss him back, reciprocating the same intensity I'm receiving from him.

My eyes are shut tightly, my heart is beating erratically and I'm so caught up with the feeling of Justin's lips against mine, I totally forget that we're out in the hallways, where anyone could see us by just walking by.

But I don't care. I don't care because he just plunged his tongue down my throat and I gladly accepted the intrusion, our tongues meshing and swirling together as we kiss deeply, passionately and with such intensity, I feel like my heart's about to explode in my chest. My stomach is light and airy giving me that ‘butterfly' feeling people talk about whenever they see or are intimate with someone they care about or like...

But, does that mean I like Justin as more than a friend?

Justin releases a deep groan, the low vibrations of his voice sending shivers down my spine. I hold onto him for dear life as he steals the little air I have left in me, his large hands squeezing my sides tightly through my uniform.

Against my will, I let out a soft whimper and then just like that, it's over...

We slowly break apart, both our eyes fluttering open with Justin's blues crashing into my gray-browns like a violent wave.

He inhales deeply, searching my eyes, reading my stunned expression before he bites the inside of his bottom lip. "Wow..." He whispers, still flush against me, holding me in place against the wall.

"What...what just happened?" I ask stupidly, breaking his gaze to scan our surroundings. I'm coming back to my senses now. I don't want us to get caught here in such a compromising position.

"I, I don't know but...but I liked it." Justin nods in affirmation, finally releasing his hold on me and taking a step back. "Shit Delilah. I liked it a lot." He whispers helplessly, almost looking conflicted as his smooth face creases into a frown.

"Ok."

That's all I can say really because I'm still in a state of shock.

"But I, I don't want to complicate things between us. I mean, I don't know what's going on with you but, I hope we're still cool? I mean..."

And I cut him off, thinking his babbling is cute but still annoying.

"Justin, we're fine. We kissed, it's over...moving on."

"Just like that huh?" He questions, his lips slowly curving into a sly smile and I giggle.

"Just like that." I reiterate and he shakes his head.

"Ok, we'll leave it at that for now because you should maybe head back to catch the end of your math class and I'll head back to my music theory class." He voices seriously, never breaking eye contact with me.

"Right. Well, seeing as you made this big deal and pulled me out of class just to show me you made the team, I'll come out to see your practice later this afternoon in the gym. Is that ok?" I ask Justin, waiting for his reply.

His smile widens significantly before he gently grips my hand in his so we can start walking back in the direction we came. "I'd like that, we'll talk then...after practice." He decides and I nod.

Wait, talk about what?

"Sure." I say hesitantly, allowing him to walk me back to class silently.

This is so odd.

I mean, we kissed.

I kissed Justin Timberlake.  Justin Timberlake kissed me.

Oh my god. I think I'm silently freaking out.

I mean, what part of this is not freaking out worthy?

What the hell have I gotten myself into with this man?

*****

Later

In the Gym

[Justin's P.O.V]

"Let's go girls! This isn't high school basketball! Timberlake! Pay attention to your game! Shoot the ball you're open!"

Snapping out of my thoughts at the harsh tone of coach's voice, I lift my head, my eyes quickly flitting over the many faces out on the court with me.

"Shit..." Bouncing the ball a few times, I block off my opponent, faking left with the ball before I take off in the opposite direction, jumping up and releasing the ball into the air at the three point line. It goes sailing right towards the hoop, bouncing on the rim before it falls through the net making a swishing sound.

"Ok guys!" Coach calls out, blowing his whistle. "Come on in. Drills are over!"

I stand in my same spot for a minute, leaning forward and breathing hard as I try to catch my breath.

I lock eyes with Ethan as he makes his way off the court with Ryan close behind, the both of them glowering at me before shaking their heads in disdain.

I ignore them, taking in a few deep breaths before rooting off my damp t-shit and slicking my hands over my bare chest.

My eyes scan the bleachers until I spot Delilah sitting with Michelle and Sandra.

They all wave when they see me looking at them and I wave back, giving Delilah a wink which causes her to blush. I chuckle softly, still looking at them having some girly conversation or other before I hear my name being called.

"Timberlake!"

"Yeah Coach!"  I turn towards where he's standing with the team circling him.

"Get your ass over here!" He growls and I quickly jog off the court to join the group.

"Sorry." I mutter when I join the circle.

He gives me a look but doesn't say anything else to me as he prepares to make his speech.

"Ok guys, I think you all know how important these championships are to us this year. We have a few months to shape up and I can't have any people lapsing or daydreaming during practice. Is that clear!? You all have got to keep your mind on the game when you're out here, no questions asked. We all have off days, but try to make them far apart please. I'll see you all back here tomorrow afternoon for more drills and we'll also be paying a visit to the school exercise gym. Hit the showers ladies." Coach Lambert states before the circle breaks up and all the guys disperse, heading towards the locker rooms.

I trail behind, deciding to head over to where the girls are sitting.

"Justin hey!" Sandra calls out.

I catch up to them, standing at the foot of where they're sitting.

"Ladies." I smile.

"What's up J?" Michelle smiles at me.

"I'm good, did you all enjoy practice?" I ask them.

"It was good, except there were times when you looked spaced out, deep in thought or something. But other than that, I love me a sweaty shirtless basketball player running up and down the court." Michelle giggles and I chuckle along with her.

"Uh huh." I smirk, turning my attention to Delilah. "What about you Lilah?" I question and she glares at me blankly.

"It was uh, you all looked good out there. Keep it up." She beams.

"So uh, we were just getting ready to leave." Sandra suddenly speaks up and I eye her, watching how she tucks some of her hair behind her ears before she stands and grabs her book-bag.

"You're all going?" I ask her and she nods. "I was just going to head into the locker rooms to grab a quick shower."

"Well, we wanted to catch up on some work and..."

But I cut Sandra off.

"You'll wait for me Lilah. Won't you?" I inquire, giving Delilah my full attention now.

"Fine." She caves immediately, clearly not in the mood for my begging which she knows will happen if she protests.

"Sweet. I'll be right back." I voice, excusing myself from their group as Michelle and Sandra tell Delilah ‘bye.'

I quickly make my way into the locker rooms where some of the guys are still located gathering their things. Some are fresh out of the shower, getting ready to leave and I walk up to my locker, opening it up so I can grab my things.

I toss my damp t-shirt inside my locker before pulling out my duffle bag. I rest my bag down on the bench next to me and stand to shut my locker, but before I can even touch it, it's slammed shut by someone else.

Scowling, I lock eyes with Ethan when he walks up to me, his cold, calculating orbs searching my own.

"Tell me Justin..." He begins as the other guys in the locker room remain silent, watching our interaction. "What gives you the right to think you can come in here and make Shooting Guard on the team?" He hisses, glaring at me. "I'm not making you steal my spot man. I don't care what the fuck you think you're doing...you're not coming in here and taking this away from me too." He growls lowly and I hold my tongue, giving him a hard stare before my eyes drift over to Ryan.

Gritting my teeth, I take a step back, ignoring Ethan for the most part.

I attempt to grab my duffle bag but he blocks my path, kicking my bag off the bench.

"Did you hear me Timberlake? If you think making this team makes you part of the group then you're sadly mistaken. Why don't you just go back to your celebrity life? You clearly don't fit in here." Ethan voices and I inhale deeply, cracking the bones in my neck and knuckles.

"Get out of my way Ethan." I voice lowly in almost a whisper and he chuckles bitterly.

"What was that? I didn't hear you Justin. If I recall, I remember you telling me that I was nothing without my boys. Well, my boys aren't here now. Just Ryan. Care to back up that threat you spat at me a month or so ago?"

"Ethan..." I say in contempt. "Now is not the time." I hiss calmly, clenching my fists at my sides as I stare at him.

"No, I think now is the perfect time Justin." He spits. "Like it's not bad enough that you're enjoying my ex fiancé.  You even have the balls to rub it in my face. Bad move dude. You should have just let Delilah and I settle our differences when we had the chance to instead of putting yourself where you didn't belong."

My eyes widen slightly at the mention of fiancé but I don't say anything.

They were fucking engaged? What else don't I know? This is ridiculous.

"Ah, judging by your shock, I'd say you didn't know did you? I'm curious; how well do you know Delilah Justin to be sticking up for her like this?" Ethan smiles smugly and I scoff softly, my eyes narrowing.

"Ethan, quit it man. It's not worth it." Ryan finally speaks up and I cut my eyes at Ryan. Just what kind of cousin is he to Delilah to still be friends with this jerk?

"Nah, Justin's a little bitch and it would do him well to realize that. You have no place on this team Justin. You remember that. And you have no place with Delilah either." Ethan growls.

"Really." I sneer.

"Yeah, really."

"It's funny. Jealously doesn't suit you dude. All your bitching must be you compensating for something else Ethan. Your dick must be really fucking small for you to always be sour like this dude." I say smartly, smirking when his smile instantly falls.

"Listen Justin, I don't like you, and you don't like me. So, you're no friend of mine. But, you know what they say. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.  I just can't seem to understand how someone like you would want to be mixed up with someone like Delilah." Ethan begins but I cut him off, not wanting to hear whatever else he has to say about her.

"Just shut the fuck up Ethan and get out of my fucking way."  I growl angrily, my temper slowly rising. He's pushing it. He really doesn't want me to go off on him right now.

It's bad enough that I can't get that kiss Delilah and I shared out of my mind. Now is not the time to mess with me when my mind is so unstable.

No one is even making an attempt to stop this shit. They're all just standing there and gawking. I guess they must know better than to cross Ethan but I'm not afraid of the asshole. He's messing with the wrong fucking person right now.

"Ethan...chill out." Ryan tries again, taking a step towards us but Ethan stops him.

"Don't Ry. Justin needs to hear this." Ethan voices.

"No he doesn't, not like this." Ryan speaks up. "Come on dude...give Delilah a break. You all broke up years ago!"

"Just shut up Ryan!" Ethan barks. "That's beside the point. We never did solve our fucking problems. They're still there. It's sad really Justin." Ethan continues, and I have half a mind to punch him and shut him up. "The last thing you need is to be mixed up with the school slut. I mean...that's just terrible for your reputation dude. What if the media found out?" He feigns shock.

"What are you even talking about?" I ask him. Dude's off his fucking rocker.

"Your precious Delilah. She's not as innocent as you make her out to be." Ethan explains.

"Ethan!" Ryan warns but we both ignore him.

"Fuck you man! I don't have to listen to any of this bullshit." I snap, turning away from Ethan to leave.

To hell with taking a shower down here. I'll just take one up in the dorms. And, I'll come back for my duffle bag later. I need out because I'm so close to snapping it's not even funny. I just made the team. I'm not looking to get suspended or kicked off. If I have to listen to one more word that leaves that fucker's lips then...

"Too bad Justin. I was even willing to put things behind us and maybe give you a few pointers on how to get in Delilah's pants since I'm sure that's why you're even paying any interest in her. Maybe you already knew she was easy. She never could keep her legs closed long enough. That would maybe explain the collection of sex tapes we made together, one of which accidentally or not so accidentally got aired at the freshman school dance a few years ago for the entire student body to see. Sad really. I mean, it's not like people didn't already know how she was. After all, she was the reason we broke up in the first place..."

And just like that something inside of me snaps.

"Fuck it." I spit before whipping around to face Ethan.

When he sees the determined look on my face, his sly smile immediately falls but before he has a chance to react, I close the small gap between us in record time, lunging at him and giving him a hard shove in the chest.

He slams up against the lockers and in one swift motion, I throw the hardest punch I can muster up, getting him directly in his left eye before he goes crashing to the floor in a heap.

"Asshole!" I yell over him, about to walk away but he grips my ankle, tripping me.

I lean over the benches to stop my fall and just like that loud shouts and hollers drown out my hearing when all the other guys in the room start acting up and chanting ‘fight, fight, fight!'

What is this? Fucking high school?

"Big mistake Justin!" Ethan growls as he regains his footing.

He quickly comes at me, throwing a punch of his own which I duck before I literally smack him hard across the face like the little bitch that he is.

"Oh shit!" I grin deviously which enrages him more.

He comes at me again and I block most of his punches except one which gets me right in the ribcage.

Gasping, I hunch forward, coughing a little but that doesn't deter me. Using all of my strength, I lash back, my fist getting him directly in the nose before Ryan and one of the other guys rush between us when we dive for each other again.

"Stop it you guys!" Ryan screams, trying to hold me back as another guy on the team holds Ethan back who's gripping his nose in pain.

"Fuck you Ethan! Do you hear me? Fuck you! And stay the fuck away from Delilah and me. I mean it man! I'll send you to the hospital, so help me god." I spit, jacking Ryan off of me. "Get off me Ryan!"

"Chill out Justin." Ryan yells back.

"Fuck you too man. What kind of cousin are you?" I hiss and Ryan's eyes widen in shock before he releases his hold on me.

I pass my hands over my bare chest, feeling a chill run through my spine since I'm exposed. "Blood's thicker than water man. I know this asshole over there is your friend, but Delilah's your family. You better make sure that Ethan's worth this shit." I growl at Ryan.

I give Ethan one last glance who's mumbling profanities under his breath as he wipes at his bloody nose.

Serves him right.

"This isn't over Justin." Ethan grunts, the other guys in the room blocking his path to get to me.

"Oh yes it is." Coach Lambert's voice rings out, stunning everyone into silence as they all stand around awkwardly.

 I turn to look at the larger man who has a deep scowl on his face. "What the hell is going on in here?"  Coach asks harshly.

"Nothing coach." Ethan mutters, turning away from us to head to his locker so he can grab a towel for his nose.

"Well somebody better start saying something."  Coach demands.

I'm so over this shit.

I'm gone.

"I'm out." I mutter, brushing past coach to leave.

"Make sure you're in here first thing tomorrow afternoon Timberlake." Coach calls out to me. "We'll talk then."

Tensing, I never look back or respond.

I simply walk out of the locker rooms and into the gym heading straight for the exit so I can get up to my dorm and call it a fucking day. Thank god I'm moving out tomorrow.

"Justin!?"

I hear Delilah's voice from somewhere behind me and I sigh, forgetting that she was even out here waiting for me.

Hesitantly, I turn around to face her and she gasps in shock, her orbs focusing on my bare torso.

"What happened to you!?" She cries out, walking up to me and placing her hand on my bruised ribs.

I bet that they're turning black and blue now. I'm not even going to look down and find out. Instead, I focus on Delilah's smooth face, reading her expressions as I swallow harshly.

"I'm fine." I hiss in pain when her fingertips graze over my sore skin, her touch sending shivers through my body.

Gripping her hand, I stop her from touching me before I yank her with me to walk.

She allows me to lead her out of the gym and towards the bathrooms just down the hall.

I shove the male bathroom door open and yank her inside with me before locking the door behind us when I'm sure that there's no one else in here with us.

"Justin...what's going on?" Delilah questions but I remain quiet, trying to gather my thoughts.

Walking over to the sink, I twist the tap open and splash some water over my face, trying to sooth my temper as I glare at my reflection in the mirror.

Talking a step to the side, I lean over Lilah's shorter frame and grab a few napkins to wipe my face dry before tossing them into the bin.

"Aren't you going to talk to me?" She asks again.

"No." I mutter flatly.

"Then why did you drag me in here? And where are your clothes? Why are you only wearing your basketball shorts?" She frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. "Did you even shower? I heard some commotion going on back in the locker rooms and..."

"Shut up Lilah." I cut her off and she does exactly that.

Looking down at her I sigh. Gripping her chin gently, I lift her head up so I can look into her eyes. Taking in a deep breath and without giving my actions any thought, I lean down and press my lips against hers in a delicate kiss. She gasps in shock but quickly relaxes against me, kissing me back.

When we finally break apart, my fingertips linger over her bottom lip as I continue to glare at her, trying to make sense of my thoughts and feelings.

Shit, I'm so fucking confused right now.

I didn't come to this school looking for any of this drama.

I didn't come here expecting to ever kiss a girl who was capable of making my stomach and heart do flip flops.

I can't even believe I just thought that. What's happening to me?

"What is this Justin? What are we doing?" Delilah whispers weakly.

Hell if I know.

"Fuck what Ethan says Delilah. I don't care about what happened in your past ok? I don't. It's called the past for a reason. You shouldn't let it rule your life. And I'm not going to let the jerk get to me so you shouldn't either. I'll listen if you want to tell me what happened, but only if and when you're ready to tell me and no one else. So, just...forget about Ethan, or at least try to." I state. "Guy's a bitch anyway."

Her eyes instantly widen in astonishment and her breathing deepens as she moves away from me and begins to pace.

I arch a brow at her, resting against the counter as I eye her. "What's wrong with you?" I inquire.

"What did Ethan tell you Justin? Oh god, he did this to you didn't he? He gave you that massive bruise on your side. Were you all fighting in there? Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. It's my fault. I should have never let things go this far. Oh god, I knew it...I knew he'd find a way. I didn't think he could ever get at me again but then you came along and...everything is going wrong and..."

Ok, I've had it with her ranting.

"Lilah! Chill the fuck out! I don't care about what Ethan thinks or says and you shouldn't either!  And don't apologize to me. You didn't do anything wrong." I voice sternly to her. "And, relax ok? I'm pretty sure I gave him a black eye and bloody nose so we're even." I chuckle dryly.

She doesn't crack a smile though as she glares at me incredulously.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on right now between us or what's going to happen, but I'm just going to roll with it.

I'm tired of over thinking everything.

Delilah stops her pacing and comes to stand directly in front of me.

"How can you say that Justin? Why aren't you running away? Why are you even still here? Why in the world do you even care?" She asks in bewilderment and I sigh.

Surprisingly enough, I finally know the answer to those questions thanks to the small altercation I had with Ethan.

"Because you're worth it." I tell her with a shrug, a light smile playing on my lips which confuses her further.

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It's simple Lilah. You're worth fighting for."

13. Starting Over

Part 1

Ending Of May

Three Months Later

"Here's what I think. The weekend is coming up and we should maybe convince Justin to throw a party at his place so we can get over the pressure of exams this week."

Turning in my seat, I frown for Sandra, not really liking that idea.

"I don't know Sand. Justin and I aren't really close like that anymore. I mean, I've visited his place a few times but, things haven't been the same ever since that night he fought with Ethan and then moved out of the dorms the next day." I explain to her.

It's not exactly something I like to dwell on but, over the past few months, Justin and I have drifted so far apart, it's to the point where we're both trying to hold on to whatever friendship that we have left.

It's not on purpose. Our schedules have just been so busy - me with my obsession over my art program and Justin with basketball and his music. It's been hard for us to maintain our friendship. It was so much easier when he lived in the dorms. Now, he's only on the school campus when he has to be. He does his homework at his place and I even heard that Trace and Rachel came up to see him like twice in the last few months at his new place.

He doesn't have to abide by some of the rules those of us living on campus have to. He has no curfew and when he's not in school, he could travel all over New York if he wanted to. In fact, he has. He even took a weekend trip to Miami just the other day specifically to meet up with a producer for some music work he's supposed to be doing at the end of the year when he leaves Higher Heights.

Higher Heights isn't Justin's home anymore. He's slowly managed to get a piece of his old life back while still going here and it's put a major strain on our relationship - friendship - whatever.

I haven't even seen him all week. I usually avoid going to any of their basketball practices since Ethan is still around.

He and Justin have managed to leave their issues off the court and focus on the team's goal of doing their best and winning. Other than that, they don't talk and barely even look at each other.

It's hard, and it's been bugging me to the point where I've started having some weird dreams about the both of them.

Ugh! If that's not annoying enough, I have that kiss Justin and I shared months ago still embedded in my brain like it happened five minutes ago.

The strange thing is that we never addressed it. Justin and I never talked about it. We didn't even discuss the second kiss he planted on me in the bathrooms after his fight with Ethan all those months ago.

It was like it just happened and then that was it...the moment was over. We moved on like nothing ever transpired and now, I'm starting to overanalyze everything Justin and I have ever been through since we met.

I find myself overanalyzing all the conversations we had, all the looks we exchanged and all the gestures we displayed. It's unnerving to have someone on the brain twenty-four seven to the point where you can't even focus long enough to function properly around other people.

But despite all of that, I miss Justin.

I miss his annoying ass more than I ever thought was possible and it's irritating the life out of me.

I want to see him again, to hug him again, to...kiss him again...just once.

But I shouldn't want those things.

I haven't even evaluated my feelings for or towards him yet because honestly, I don't want to. I'm afraid of what I might find out.

But, that doesn't mean I don't want my friend back.

And to think, I had no intension of us even building a friendship in the first place.

I'm glad he proved me wrong.

Now he needs to hang around me more to rub it in my face. I won't complain. I won't mind.

I just miss him.

"Hello! Delilah! Delilah!"

Jumping when Sandra snaps her fingers in front of my face, I turn to look at her harboring a deep scowl.

"What?"

"You're so spaced. You haven't heard a word I said."

"I'm sorry, but look Sandra, this party thing...I don't know." I sigh in defeat, the weight of exams this week draining me to the point where I feel exhausted even after sleep.

She's right. It would be nice to have a party where we didn't have to worry about campus rules and could just release the pressure and stress. But at Justin's place? I'm not so sure how he'll feel about that.

"Just ask him. What do you have to lose?" She shrugs and I think for a moment realizing that she's right again.

"Ok, I'll ask him, if I end up seeing him this weekend." I pout lightly and she giggles, rolling her eyes at me.

"You two so need to hook up and fast." She laughs softly since we're in English class right now, but I don't think she's funny or cute.

I thought Justin liked her actually until I realized that he just thought she was hot and that was about it.

Sometimes, men are confusing...

"Will Delilah Marshall and Justin Timberlake please report to Headmaster Williams' office. I repeat, will Delilah Marshall and Justin Timberlake please report to Headmaster Williams' office."

I wince at the sound of my name over the school's intercom system.

I turn to look at Sandra, shrugging when she eyes me oddly.

"What did you do?" She whispers accusingly.

"Nothing!" I whisper back, feeling my heartbeat speed up; not because there's a possibility that I might be in trouble, but, because I'm about to see Justin since he was asked into Headmaster Williams office as well.

"Well go. I'll get your things when class is over; don't worry about it." Sandra gives me a light shove in the shoulder and I quickly stand, thanking her before excusing myself from class to head out of the door quickly.

When I make it to the Headmaster's office, I smile for his secretary who gives me the signal to go right in.

I knock on the door twice before easing it open.

I'm instantly greeted by a smiling Justin who's sitting at the edge of Williams' desk.

I frown in confusion, studying the interaction between the two men.

Headmaster Williams has a soft grin on his aged face as he slicks his hands through his full head of gray hair, his blue eyes twinkling in delight.

For someone in their fifties, he's not so bad on the eyes. Plus, he has a daughter who goes here.

He may be a strict Headmaster, but, he's fair.

I'm more interested in knowing what he and Justin have been discussing.

Williams is the first to spot me when he spins in his seat.

"Delilah! Come on in." He makes a signal for me to come further into his office since I'm standing awkwardly by the door.

I clear my throat nervously, noting how the smile on Justin's face falls before he looks away from me.

He stands and quickly takes a seat on one of the chairs facing the Headmaster's office. I follow suit, taking the other empty chair before clasping my hands and saying a silent prayer that Headmaster Williams did not call us in here for the time we ditched school or threw that party for Justin on his birthday in my dorm.

"How are you Delilah?" Williams asks and I give him a tight smile and nod.

"I'm good sir. I've been...good." I swallow hard, giving Justin a quick glance.

That was a mistake.

I'm not sure if I like Justin's deep blues studying me so closely. He's resting back in his seat with a smirk on his face as he glares at me like I'm the most interesting thing he's ever seen.

"That's great to hear. You're doing well in your classes I'd assume?" Williams inquires and I nod vigorously not caring if my neck ends up hurting in the process.

I'm so on edge right now I can't even think straight.

"Classes and school are good. Everything's great!" I fake enthusiasm which causes Justin to snort lightly beside me but he doesn't say anything.

"Great. I was just having a quick chat with Justin before you came in. He said you really helped him get settled in at Higher Heights which is very good because he's offered to make a small donation to the school by the time you all graduate." Williams voices and I gasp.

"What?"

"Well, Justin won't be ‘graduating' with you literally, but he will walk with your graduating class since your last semester after summer will also be his last as well." Williams explains and I mouth an ‘oh,' resting back in my seat and biting my bottom lip.

"That's fine..." I mutter.

No it's not fine. It's just reminding me yet again that soon, all of this is going to be over - my time here at Higher Heights, my time with Justin. At the end of this year, it will all be over. And then what?

"Right. Now the reason I called you two in here, is because I need to give official permission to allow you off school campus Delilah." Williams speaks up and I tense, lifting my head to glare at him in perplexity.

"I'm sorry could you repeat that? I don't remember requesting any time off campus sir." I voice.

"Yes, Justin asked for you earlier today and I told him it was fine and that I'd call you all in here once I got some free time. I'll just need you to sign the waiver and I'll sign it after as well. Regular procedure. Then, you'll be free to leave for the weekend into next week."  Williams voices, pulling out the consent waiver form from his desk.

I grimace, not even looking at Justin now as I feel my temper rising. I'm not sure why, but something about this doesn't sit well with me. Whatever happened to consulting me first?

"Um, sir exams..."

"Are over this week." Williams interrupts me, giving me a bright smile before he places a pen and the form in front of me to sign. "Even if school isn't closing for the next two weeks, you deserve the break Delilah just like all the other students at Higher Heights. Now, I want you to enjoy your week out with Justin and when you come back, you can pack up your belongings for summer break coming up soon. The dance is also next weekend before all the students leave to head home for summer break. I'm sure you're excited to see your folks. But for now, enjoy the week." Williams smiles for me and I hesitate, still not looking at Justin.

I can see his silhouette shifting in the corner of my eye but I'm not going to look at him. Not yet anyway.

"Uh...ok fine." I mumble before grabbing the pen and quickly scribbling my signature.

Headmaster Williams signs his name as well before filing the paper away which states the date I'm leaving campus and the date I'm coming back to campus.

I'm going to pretend like I didn't notice that he had today's date printed on there.

What the hell is really going on?

"Well, that's it. You all are free to go. Have a great weekend." Williams bids us farewell and I utter a ‘goodbye' before I'm out of my seat and heading straight for the door.

I make it out into the hallways before Justin catches up to me and stops me.

"Lilah! Hey! Slow down girl!" He chuckles, spinning me around to face him.

I glare at him, his tall slender frame hovering over me.

His eyes are bright and questioning as he releases his hold on me and stuffs his hands into his pant pockets.

"Justin..." I sigh, taking in the sight of him. I can't be angry at him. This is the first time I'm seeing him all week and I'm not going to be a bitch when he probably doesn't even think that anything's wrong. "What's going on?" I ask weakly, trying to make sense of my emotions.

I feel so overwhelmed for some reason. Just being in his presence has my mind riling with all kinds of weirdness. Like the fact that I can smell the faint hint of his body soap on his clean milky skin. Or, the fact that his hair has grown out to the point where its making tiny curls at the tips. Or maybe it's the way he's looking at me, so concerned, his eyes filled with longing and something else I can't decipher.

Whatever it is, I've never paid this much attention to him before and just being around him makes me antsy but at the same time, I've missed him and I'm happy that he's here.

"I thought..." Justin begins but drifts. He looks around then back at me, licking his lips slowly. "Can we go somewhere more private to talk?" He asks hopefully and I think about the English class I'm missing but nod in agreement to his question anyway.

"Sure, follow me." I suggest and he does exactly that, allowing me to lead us to a more secluded area.

We make it into the student study center which is practically empty since today is the last day of exams. Mostly everyone must be taking their exams now.

I was fortunate enough to only be in English class with our professor reviewing what we did for the semester before she informed us on how she would be grading our finals. So, I'm not really missing anything.

I have time to spare.

Justin walks past me when we get into the center filled with computers and some research and library books specifically for studying based on the subject you're doing.

He stops at a table all the way to the back out of eye sight from anyone walking in through the front doors.

I follow him and move to stand before him.

I can feel the heat of the sun on us shining through the large glass windows that overlook a section of the school grounds.

"Is this private enough for you?" I ask Justin and he nods slowly, his blues searching my gray-browns with intrigue.

"It is." He whispers softly and before I can respond, he leans down and presses his lips against mine in a deep sultry kiss as his large hands cup my cheeks.

My heart skips a beat and my body goes rigid as my palms travel up his firm sculpted chest.

I grip fistfuls of his blazer and in one swift motion I push him away forcefully, breaking our lip-lock.

I suck air into my lungs, my eyes wide with disbelief as Justin just stands there, guiltily, glaring at me.

"What the hell was that Justin!?" I snap, finally catching my breath.

He looks down at where I'm still gripping his blazer and I groan before releasing my hold on him and plopping down in the chair next to me defeated. "Are you going through a phase? What's going on? We hardly hang out anymore, this is the first time I'm seeing you all week, and you ask me for us to go somewhere more private to talk just so you can kiss me?" I glare at him and he heaves a sigh before taking a seat as well.

He passes his hands over his face and then through his hair in frustration as he looks down at the wooden table.

"Yes...I mean...no...shit Lilah, I don't know. All I know is, I've missed you and when I saw you I couldn't help myself. I was itching to do it...to kiss you again. So I did." He says pathetically, still not making eye contact with me.

"I see. Great. Perfect. Wonderful!" I mutter sarcastically. "Don't even get me started on the fact that you asked Headmaster Williams for me to leave campus for the next week without my consent. To go where? I'm not sure, but I'm not even going to go there yet. I want to know what's going on Justin. You can't just kiss me and be done with it."

"I'm sorry Lilah ok!? I didn't plan this! I do want to talk to you. What happened just now was a spur of the moment thing." He admits weakly and I curve a brow at him.

"Oh sure. Just like the first couple of times we kissed months ago. Tell me Justin. What part of this doesn't seem odd to you? We're acting like some dysfunctional couple. So not cool."

"Give me a break Lilah." He chides, straightening his posture and looking at me directly in the eyes now. "You were the one who kissed me first if I remember correctly and even if I initiated the rest, you kissed me back too. It's been months. You weren't jumping to clear the air between us either so just drop it." Justin snaps and I'm a little shocked at his sudden switch. Something is going on with that man.

He's acting abnormally strange, even for him.

"Ok fine, maybe it's not that important." I state and he smirks.

"Sure. Of course." He says flatly. "Because when two people who are supposed to be just friends kiss, it means absolutely nothing and it's of no importance." He rolls his eyes at me and I gasp at his rudeness and sarcasm.

"Ok, speak Justin. I want to know what's going on. What do you want to talk to me about? This is too strange for me. Why did you request me to leave campus for the week anyway?" I ask and he inhales deeply, clearly irritated with me for some reason or other.

"Geez, oh I don't know Lilah. Maybe because like you said, we've hardly gotten a chance to hang out these past few months because of our busy schedules? Maybe I thought that now would be a great time to reestablish some type of solid contact with you since exams are over and summer vacation is coming up. I didn't want to bother you before since we both know how anal you get over your school work. Plus, coach has been working the team hard for our upcoming game before the dance next weekend. I figured, since I don't live on campus anymore and you can't leave campus without permission, I'd surprise you by asking Headmaster Williams to give you the weekend and all of next week off so we could really hang out and catch up. You know since, even if we did see each other every now and then in the past few months, it clearly wasn't the same. But oh no, I guess it's wrong that I care. I guess it's wrong that I miss my best friend here at this school. I guess it's wrong that I've spent the last few months thinking about her, wondering if she even cares or considers us friends anymore, if ever. I'm sorry I kissed you just now Lilah but I've missed you so much and..."

But he trails off, swallowing the rest of his words as he looks away from me and out the windows.

"Friends hug Justin. They don't kiss each other on the lips the way you kissed me just now." I point out and he groans lowly.

"Don't you think I know that!?" He hisses but his coarseness doesn't faze me.

"Ok, so I get all what you're saying. And I agree with most of it. I've missed you too. But you're moody and edgy. So, what else aren't you telling me?"

"Don't you find it a little unfair that we're not talking about this Delilah?" Justin questions, his blues blazing.

"About what exactly?"

"This!" He motions between the both of us. "Us! Everything that's happened since I've been here! How long are we going to avoid it? How long are we going to walk around like everything's cool when it's clearly not? Look, I've had months to think our situation over and..."

"Ethan's been pressuring you." I vocalize, cutting him off.

"No." Justin corrects me quickly. "We don't speak, unless it's in regards to the team and we barely even look at each other unless we're out on the court. No, fuck him right now, this isn't about him or Ryan. I'm talking about you and me Lilah. I can't take this anymore. It's driving me insane. I thought inviting you to spend the week at my place would be a good idea. Trace and Rachel are going to be there. We could all hang out, maybe even head to Manhattan together.  And this time, you won't have to worry about getting in trouble. Shit, I've just missed you Lilah. I miss our fun, sometimes crazy times together. And as crazy as this is going to sound, I hadn't realized it until I saw Sandra and Michelle in the cafeteria earlier today and you weren't there with them. I asked them where you were and they said you were sleeping in until class because you were so exhausted from studying and taking those hard fucking exams. I don't know." He shrugs helplessly. "It got me thinking and made me realize just how far apart we've been recently and I hate it Lilah. I hate it. I can't tell you how it happened, or why exactly, but I consider you someone special now. You mean something to me now. You're a solid part of my life. You helped me get settled in here, you made me feel accepted and maybe I did grow some type of attachment to you because of it, but, it's so much more than that now..." Justin divulges and I'm just sitting, staring at him in awe.

Wow.

Talk about a confession.

"Justin...it's ok. I've been feeling the same way too, and you're right. But I mean, we're still cool, we're still friends...so we drifted apart for a bit. That's natural. I mean, I'm assuming all this is you wanting me to spend the week with you, Rachel and Trace right? So, we could do that. I'll pack up my stuff at the end of the day and we'll go to your place and we'll all hang out and have fun, just our circle of friends and..."

"But what if I said I wasn't ok with us just being friends anymore Lilah?" He cuts me off and I frown, not understanding.

"You don't want us to be friends anymore?" I ask, slightly hurt by his bluntness. Well then what the hell is he going on and on about?

"That's not what I'm saying Lilah." Justin sighs heavily again, rubbing at his forehead.

"What are you saying then Justin?" I ask, leaning over the table to look at him closely.

"I don't know. I'm so fucking confused. I've been confused for months, ever since..." But he catches himself and stops mid-sentence. "Look it doesn't matter. I'm sorry.  Can we please start over?"

"You want us to start over?" I inquire with a light smile.

"Yes." He breathes deeply. "Can we forget about all the shit we've been through in the last few months and wipe the slate clean? Forget about Ethan and Ryan, even if he's your cousin, and just focus on you, me and completing our time here at Higher Heights. How does that sound?" There's hope in his beautiful cerulean blues and how can I say no to that?

"Fine." I cave. "If that's what you want then, we'll start over. A fresh break. But, if that's the case then I think we need to go about our friendship differently this time. And I promise this time, I actually want us to be friends." I voice and he chuckles heartily which makes me giggle in return. "And no more ‘beating around the bush.' Whatever we're thinking, however we're feeling at the moment, we should be straight forward and honest with each other." I point out and Justin nods in return.

"Deal."

"Ok, and since I have the rest of the weekend off, I'll head up to my dorm to pack up my things and we'll head over to your place for the weekend into next week."

"Cool. Trace and Rachel should be in on Sunday so we have tomorrow and Saturday to ourselves." Justin nods and I smile brightly.

"Which is perfect timing to have an after school party without having to worry about breaking any rules or being caught by any head boys or girls." I giggle.

"You want me to throw a post exams bash at my place?" Justin inquires, a mischievous grin spreading on his face.

"Only if you want to."

"Hell yeah! I thought about doing that but, now we definitely have to do it since people probably need the opportunity to just let loose. You'll help me plan it, right?" Justin grins and I nod enthusiastically.

"Yes! It'll be so much fun. I'll tell the girls so they can help us out."

"Ok, then we should probably get going if we're going to get everything set up in time for tomorrow." Justin decides, standing from his seat.

"Right...right..." I look up at him, amazed at how we're able to switch between so many moods and topics with each other. "And Justin?" I grip his arm gently when he makes an attempt to move.

"Yes Lilah." He looks down at me, giving me a questioning glare.

"When we get to your place later, since we've promised to start over and do things the right way, I think it would be best if we sat and had a little chat about my past. I'm ready to tell you everything there is to know about me, and I hope that...that when you do know you won't judge me. But, I definitely agree that you deserve to know since you've found yourself fighting my battles."

"Look Delilah you don't have to..." Justin interrupts, but I silence him by placing my finger on his lips.

He blinks slowly, his breathes coming in light pants until I pull my hand away.

"Shut up Justin. I want to." I affirm and he shakes his head, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

"Good to know. And, Thank you."

14. Starting Over

Part 2

Later That Day

At Justin's Place

Somewhere in Rural NY...

It's been months since Delilah and I genuinely hung out as friends.

Every day that went by, she consumed my thoughts just a little bit more than the previous day.

And, there was nothing I could do about it.

Until now.

So I had this idea that I would invite Delilah over to my new place, since things haven't been the same between us ever since my encounter with Ethan and I moved out of Higher Heights dorms a few months ago.

I'm sort of getting back my old life, and I'm sort of not.

I've managed to stay out of the public's eye and out of the tabloids but I'm not sure how long that's going to last.

People will eventually know that I'm no longer living on campus and when that happens, the paps will most definitely come looking for me.

It doesn't help that I have an interview with the media on campus at the end of next week which is a big deal.

But all of that is unimportant to me right now.

When I signed up for this school experience, I had no idea what to expect.

My life was moving along just fine before Higher Heights. I was in the studio working with the artists signed to my label as well as other artists from other labels; I was helping out with charity; I was working on my clothing line with Trace; I made various appearances, did talk shows, radio interviews and even had a steady relationship with Jessica Biel.

I would have never guessed that one stupid slip up on my part on live television would have landed me here in the wastelands of education torture. But it did.

And while I cursed it to hell at the beginning, now, it's not so bad anymore.

It's not so bad anymore because of her...Delilah Marshall.

Rachel was right. Goddamn, Rachel was right? I'll never let her know that though.

But, Delilah is the main reason why I like it at Higher Heights now despite the drama that came with knowing her.

She made it worthwhile.

And even if I know why I stuck around, I'm still having a hard time figuring out why it came so easy for me to do.

After being apart for the last few months, I thought it was imperative that I replenished the tight bond of our friendship.

But, according to Delilah, what kinds of friends have our type of relationship? She's right...we're dysfunctional.

I mean, how can I possibly view her as only a friend and then plant a kiss on her like I'm craving her or something?

It doesn't make sense. Our friendship doesn't make sense. Delilah and I...we don't make sense.

And that's what's been driving me crazy. That's why she's been on my brain for the past few months to the point where I had to find a way to see her for an extended length of time so I could figure this whole thing out.

That's why she's here right now...sitting in the living room on the leather couch of the two story house I rented out in the rural areas of New York, because I changed my mind about living in an apartment for the rest of my stay here.

Even if I'm glad that we're off campus and away from the rest of Higher Heights' students and their curious eyes, somehow, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

"And then Cindy is like, ‘why don't you help us plan the dance coming up next week since you and Justin did such a great job with the last one?' And I'm looking at her like she's out of her goddamn mind because I still don't do dances so that's why I never even bothered asking you or telling you about it since I decided that I wasn't going to do it anyway..." Delilah explains, giggling softly.

"Uh huh...yeah."  I mutter mindlessly, shifting on my feet as I continue to eye her.

She's sprawled out on the couch in her uniform with her luggage by her feet.

We walked in probably about an hour ago and the moment we did, she went right into the kitchen and straight for the alcohol cabinet.

Of course, I didn't stop her at first because I thought it was funny and I simply laughed.

I guess, somewhere between Delilah's ranting and raving about her exams and the fact that she was so stressed out and needed to release the pressure, she managed to drink about a quarter of the bottle of scotch I bought just yesterday.

So, I maybe should have stopped her, but, she looked like she really needed it. She needed to get away and while I'm cool with being her getaway, I had no idea the girl could drink like that.

Before I could even grab the bottle out of her grasp, she had already downed two more shots.

So I cut her off. And, she was angry with me, but I didn't care. She didn't stay angry for long though and stumbled into the living room plopping down on the couch haphazardly.

Which bring us to now, with me standing awkwardly, looking at her as she continues with her pointless stories about whoever pissed her off recently as she stares at me, her eyes glassy since she's partially intoxicated.

I'd laugh but, well, I'm not used to seeing Delilah like this and while I still think she's cute, her current state is making me kind of nervous.

"Justin? Justin! Are you listening to me?"

"What?" I snap out of my thoughts, my blues connecting to her questioning gray-browns. "Sorry Lilah." I sigh before placing down the bottle of scotch in my hand on a nearby table and removing my blazer.

I root off my tie and take a seat next to her on the couch, still studying her closely.

"Why don't you...relax and watch some television? I'll bring your things up to the guest bedroom and then I'll make something for us to eat." I suggest but she shakes her head in protest.

"No, stay with me please?" She pleads and I groan softly.

"I should have never let you drink." I mutter and she arches a brow at me.

"I'm not drunk." Delilah defends and I scoff.

"You're not sober either Lilah." I counter and she smiles but doesn't respond. "Ok, if I'm staying here with you what do you want to do? We have all the movie channels and pay per view. Do you want to rent a movie? We have tonight to ourselves to do whatever and tomorrow we'll head into Manhattan to gather some things for the party tomorrow night." I suggest.

"I don't want to watch television Justin." She voices stubbornly, resting back in the couch to get more comfortable.

My eyes travel over her tired features all the way down to where her hands are gripping fistfuls of her skirt that inches further and further up her thighs with each move she makes.

Swallowing harshly I look away about to stand but she suddenly grips my arm, tugging on it roughly.

"Relax Lilah." I warn her, pulling out of her hold.

"I know what I want to do." She decides and I nod, waiting for her to continue. "Let's talk."

"Talk? What about?" I ask.

"About what I promised you...about my past." She states.

"Look, I don't think now is a good time Lilah. You were drinking and..."

"Oh give it a rest Justin! I'm not drunk!" She snaps and I shut up, giving her a hard glare. There's no getting through to her when she's like this is there?

"Fine, I'm all ears then." I relent, getting more comfortable in my seat. I angle myself to face her with my hand lying over the top of the couch as I rest my back against the armrest. "So tell me, what's the whole mystery behind Delilah Marshall?" I smile brightly and she laughs along with me.

"Yeah, I am kind of a mystery aren't I? Well, that's all about to change." She pauses, rooting off her blazer and tossing it onto the floor. "Damn it's hot in here."

"No, that's the alcohol taking effect." I point out and she rolls her eyes at me, ignoring me.

"So anyway...let's start off with when I came to Higher Heights in my freshman year. I didn't tell you at first but, Ethan and I, we were serious to the point where we got engaged. Of course, I was ecstatic because I thought he loved me but, look how that turned out." Delilah sighs heavily and I frown. So Ethan was right about her being his ex fiancé. No shit. "Look, my past with Ethan is just that, the past. But, I don't think he's gotten over it and neither have I because we never did have any closure. But, our problems began soon after he made the basketball team. Like I said before, he changed for the worse not better. He was cocky, conceited and a plain out asshole. He let the popularity go to his head so much so that he totally disregarded the fact that he had a girlfriend or fiancé...me."

"He used to flirt a lot, and always had a group of girls around him, hanging on his every word. I was never a jealous girlfriend per say until rumors about him cheating started to surface. I think that was what sparked off a lot of our arguments. Me hearing about the rumors and asking him about them to which he got defensive and picked fights with me. In all of our drama, our dads still managed to remain friends because they had no idea about the turmoil we were experiencing in school since we were away from home. Ryan was around but, he never did like getting between Ethan and me. He had his reasons." Delilah decides and I smirk.

"I bet he did." I mumble bitterly and she glowers at me.

"Anyway..." She says, shaking her head at my displeased expression. "I was finally able to get proof that Ethan was cheating on me and when I did I totally lost it. I was hurt, angry and seeking revenge. So I did the stupid thing and decided that getting even was much better than waiting for karma to run its course. He cheated, I had proof, so I got back at him. I uh, cheated on him too and while I know two wrongs don't make a right and all that jazz, it made sense to me then and it felt good."

Delilah drifts when my eyes widen in shock, but I remain silent. I'm just a little thrown off here. The asshole cheated on her and she thought cheating on him to get back at him was the best route to take? She never pegged me as that type of person but then again, I don't know her that well do I? That was a stupid move on her part, I'll give her that. But, I guess I understand her reasoning behind it.

"That's not all though." She says in a weak voice, looking away from me in shame.

"Oh?" I feign shock. Like I didn't know that wasn't all. I mean really.

"I was so angry at him, I sort of sabotaged him. I tipped off the coach that he and his friends were taking steroids which are against the rules and got them kicked off the team for the rest of the season since they were tested and the steroids were found in their blood. Ethan was livid and he knew I was the one who sold him out because I was the only other person who knew. When we were arguing about it one night, I blurted out that I knew he was cheating on me or whatever and that I didn't want to marry a lying, cheating asshole. He tried to stop me when I decided to walk away from him and I sort of smacked him and told him to stay away from me. Then, I asked him how it felt to be cheated on and rooted out a picture of me and the guy I cheated on him with."

"I think that was my biggest mistake and regret. I should have never let him find out who it was. He um..." Trailing off, Delilah sniffles lightly and I'm just sitting there, staring at her blankly as this all sinks in. "Ethan was so angry with me for what I had done, he practically walked away from me and headed back to the dorms where he and his boys went after the guy and basically beat him to a pulp. The same guy ended up being hospitalized due to fractured ribs, a concussion and broken limbs. Ethan totally lost it on him and by the time he was pulled away, the guy was knocked unconscious. Of course, our parents got involved, headmaster Williams got involved and the police got involved and it was just utter chaos. Ethan's dad Mr. Landing was furious because when word of what happened got out to the press, it wasn't exactly the best image to have with his political status."

"Ethan and I never spoke again after that night and our parents sort of blamed each other for our problems. Mr. Landing said it was my dad's fault for raising a daughter like me who was a trouble maker, and my dad said it was Mr. Landing's fault for never being the father figure Ethan needed since he was too caught up in his career and was too busy for his son. Our parents had their dispute over Ethan and me falling out and things were never the same again. But, I thought it was over you know? I thought everything was said and done and we would just go our separate ways at Higher Heights. Ethan had to go to court but the guy never did press charges since it was rumored that Ethan's dad paid the dude to be quiet. He transferred schools when he was out of the hospital and I never even spoke to him again. I only used him to get back at Ethan so I didn't care, though I did feel guilty about what happened. But after all of that, I really thought things were over. I was so wrong."

"Apparently, Ethan still wasn't over what I had done even if he was the one who fucked up first. So, he figured he'd get me back yet again since I cost him his spot on the team for the rest of freshman year. At the end of semester freshman school dance, he aired a tape of the two of us...the two of us...um...being intimate with each other for the entire student body to see. I was actually outside with Sandra and Michelle when it happened. When we heard all the commotion going on in the gym, we went in to see what was happening and I nearly passed out from utter shock when I saw myself on the large screen mounted up on the wall. I think a part of me died inside that night at the dance from embarrassment and humiliation alone. Everyone was looking at me and judging me like I was some slut or something and a large portion of the video ended up playing before the headmaster and faculty were able to make it to the video room and stop the footage."

Inhaling deeply, Delilah passes her hands over her face as a few stray tears escape her.

I'm frozen solid in my seating position, not able to process or even digest what I just heard. What do I think or say to that? I knew her past wasn't pretty but I never imagined any of this. And, so far, she's proven everything Ethan spat at the mouth to be true. I'm not sure how I feel about that either.

"Lilah..." I say softly, but she cuts me off.

"I know how this all sounds Justin. I know. I messed up. Ethan and I both messed up and we were young and stupid. But...but you know, I got suspended, Ethan got suspended and so did Ryan since Ryan refused to communicate with the police, our parents and the headmaster. We paid for our wrongdoings but it never solved any of our problems. It's like everything was left up in air and..."

But I interrupt her, not wanting to know any more.

It's true when they say curiosity kills and be careful what you wish for. I'm wishing I didn't know any of this right now because my thoughts are running wild.

"It's ok, I really think you should stop now Lilah." I utter but she shakes her head frantically.

"No! You need to know Justin! You need to know that, that I'm sorry for getting you mixed up in all of this. That was never my intention. Ethan is just a huge jerk and he has no right pressuring you just because we're friends..."

"Lilah...Lilah!" I shout for her to shut up. "I get it ok!? Just, you need water...I'll get you water." I suggest, jumping up from my seat when I notice how dilated her eyes are getting.

I'm pretty sure the alcohol she consumed is now circulating in her blood stream which means she's going to knock out any minute.

"I don't want water!" She slurs lightly. "I want a redo. I want to take it all back." She whimpers, bowing her head and placing her hands over her face.

"You can't take it back Lilah." I voice gently. "You just need to get over it and move on."

I bite my lips as I stand in place feeling conflicted. I want to comfort her but at the same time I want to tell her how stupid she was for ever getting mixed up with Ethan in the first place.

It doesn't take long before the waterworks consume her and she starts sobbing lightly.

I take a step towards her but then stop, images of her and Ethan being intimate with each other flooding my mind. I shudder, the mere thought making me nauseous as I feel an all too familiar tug at my emotions and heart.

"Fuck." I whisper, looking away from Lilah.

Shit, this is bad. This is really...I want to kill him. I want to kill the bastard for hurting her like this.

"I'll get you some water Lilah. I'll be right back. Don't move ok? We're going to get you sober." I assure her before turning to head into the kitchen.

Oh my way there, I catch the last statement she manages to choke out through her sobs which practically makes my blood boil and head spin.

"I was so stupid. I felt used and betrayed. I mean, I didn't even know Ethan videotaped us. After seeing that tape, it made me wonder just how many times he did that to me and, and if he ever even loved me at all...."

That's the last thing I hear before I'm out of earshot and in the kitchen rummaging through the cabinets for a glass.

As I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge, I inhale deeply, trying to calm my temper when my hands begin trembling slightly.

I swear, if the asshole was here right now I'd probably snap his neck for doing that shit to Delilah. Nobody deserves that.

I place the items in my hands down on the counter and I lean against my island, Delilah's muffled cries filling my eardrums as I swipe my palms over my face and through my hair in frustration.

"Shit." I gasp, feeling a slight burn in my chest as my heartbeat speeds up and my adrenaline kicks in. That was the last straw. What Delilah said was all I needed to hear to know how to deal with Ethan. "That bitch is going down, no questions asked."

15. Confusion & Clarity

Ending Of May

Next Day

Groaning, I shift uncomfortably feeling slightly restricted.

"What the hell?" I whisper, my eyes fluttering open.

I'm instantly blinded by the sun seeping in through the large glass windows.

Well, summer sure is kicking in. In a way, I'm excited to be leaving school for three whole months to hang with my family but that also means, no more Justin or Higher Heights. I guess that's the downside.

I arch my back slightly but then freeze when I feel what's supposed to be the bed I was sleeping on shift beneath me.

"Wow." I say softly, wide awake now.

My eyes are frantically searching my surroundings only to find that I'm still in the living room from last night when Justin and I got to his place.

Ugh, and I have the worst headache which only constitutes that I have a hangover which means today is going to be a shitty day.

A light groan echoes from somewhere behind me and my body goes rigid.

I swallow harshly and gasp when I feel a strong arm tighten around my lower waist.

It doesn't take me long to realize that I'm lying on my side with my back facing Justin I'd assume while his arm is wrapped around me holding me in his embrace.

The most bizarre thing in all of this is that we're on his couch. I mean, it's a big comfy couch but how in the world did we end up in this position together?

The last thing I remember is heading into Justin's kitchen and drinking way too much scotch. Then, I think I told him my life history which reduced me to tears. But that's all I can remember. I don't regret telling him about Ethan because he needed to know.

But how in the world...

"Morning sleeping beauty." Justin groans behind me and my eyes widen in shock. When I don't respond, I feel him smile against me since his face is resting against the base of my neck and shoulder. Talk about an invasion of personal space. "Felt you shifting. You sort of woke me up." He mumbles and I nod lightly.

"Oh sorry. Morning...uh, right."  In a flash, I'm out of his arms and off the couch. I guess I stood too fast because my head is spinning but that's nothing compared to the sight before me.

Justin's just laying there looking up at me with his gorgeous sleepy blues wearing only a black wife beater and his school pants and socks.

"We slept on the couch last night?" I ask in bewilderment and he chuckles before stretching out his limbs and yawning.

"You had an emotional night Lilah." He mutters simply and I frown. That's not the answer I was looking for.

"Uh no shit..."

"Considering the amount of alcohol you drank." He interrupts me with a disappointed stare.

"So what happened?"

I take a seat next to him when he pushes his body up into a sitting position.

He wipes at his face and takes in a deep breath before glaring at me.

"You were upset, crying or whatever. When I came back with the water I got for you to drink to help you with your intoxication, I offered to help you up to the  guest bedroom but you protested and begged me to stay with you until you calmed down. So, I stayed and I guess somewhere along the line we both feel asleep. This is a comfy ass couch though." Justin laughs and I smile lightly feeling slightly embarrassed by my behavior even if everything is still a little fuzzy.

"I'm sorry; I'll buy back your liquor I promise." I utter.

Justin gives me an incredulous look before he finally decides to stand and continue his stretching.

"Out of everything I just told you now and that happened last night, everything you told me, that's what you're worried about the most? Buying back the bottle of alcohol you consumed because you were upset?" He questions and I shrug innocently. "Unbelievable. You really are something different Delilah. Look I'm going to head up to take a shower. You should too and get changed out of your uniform. There's a shower in the guest room. We're going to head into Manhattan to gather some things for the party later. We'll grab some breakfast while we're out."Justin explains and before I even have a chance to respond, he walks away from me and jogs up the stairs disappearing from sight.

A pout instantly forms on my face as I rest back in my seat, trying to replay last night's events.

Well, whatever happened last night, Justin sure as hell doesn't want to talk about it. I just hope he doesn't think of me differently or look at me differently now that he knows about my past.

I'm hoping that he'll be the exception and that he won't let Ethan get to him.

But, there's really nothing I can do right now. Only time will tell...

**

Later That Night

Who knew Justin could throw such a successful party?

I should have known though.

This place is filled with Higher Heights students from all years enjoying themselves and having a blast.

I don't blame them. It's summer and we're going to be free of education prison for the next three months.

If that's not party worthy then I don't know what is.

After the awkward good morning conversation Justin and I had earlier today, the rest of the day moved along smoothly.

We headed into Manhattan and did some shopping for the party and then came back to his place to prepare.

Sandra and Michelle even came over to help us and we actually had a blast getting everything set up.

Now, the party is in full swing and Justin looks like he's having the time of his life working the room and entertaining his guests and fellow school mates.

I'm actually in the kitchen right now sipping on a wine cooler as I spot Justin out in the living room talking to Cindy.

I continue studying them for a while until Sandra comes in to grab a drink, interrupting my little quiet time amidst the blasting music and endless chattering and dancing.

"You look sulky." Sandra calls out to me and I stare at her.

"No, I'm fine!" I voice, finishing off my wine cooler.

I swipe my palms over my light fitted jeans and white top, dismissing her suspicious stare.

"Why don't you ask Justin to dance?" She suggests and I laugh loudly, snorting in the process.

"Please Sandra as if. I'm going to head out by the pool for a bit. I need some fresh air."

"Are you sure you're ok though?" She asks me, her eyes filled with concern as she grabs a wine cooler for herself out of the freezer.

"I'm fine Sand! Go have fun. I'll be in a little later." I assure her and she shrugs, moving over to give me a quick hug before she disappears out of the kitchen and rejoins the party.

Sighing, I make my way out to the pool which is deserted since everyone is inside in the air conditioned living room having a blast.

It may only be the beginning stages of summer, but I can already feel the slight heaviness in the air due to mild humidity.

Sighing, I look out at the pool in the large spacious backyard of Justin's temporary home before taking a seat on one of the lounge chairs. I wonder who he's renting this house from. Not like I'd know them, but whoever it is must be stoked that a celebrity is living here paying rent.

I smile at the thought as I'm reminded yet again that Justin isn't just Justin.  It's crazy how I always seem to forget that little fact. That he's an international superstar and icon.

I doubt that would be the case if I were shoved into his regular lifestyle but I digress.

The point is this is nice. Even if I'm not indulging in the crazy party going on inside, I'm still enjoying myself just sitting here in partial quietness...

"You know, the party's indoors Lilah. But, we could always take it out to the pool."

Five seconds later, Justin comes into view with a beer in his hand as he stands before me dressed in a simple blue t-shirt and jeans with a matching fitted hat on his head.

"I'm good thanks." I smile and he shrugs, taking a seat next to me on one of the lounge chairs.

"So, what are you doing out here by yourself? Aren't you having fun?" He asks, taking a sip of his beer.

"I came out here for some air, but I'm having fun. Thanks again for letting us have this little bash at your place." I speak up and he nods, casting his vision to the pool.

"No problem. But, are you ok though?"

"I uh..." I drift when we lock eyes. "I'm fine. I promise. Look, Justin I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I didn't mean to..."

"It's cool forget about it." He dismisses, finishing off his beer. "As long as you're ok now then..."

"I am."

"Good."

"What about you?" I question and he laughs.

"What about me Lilah?"

"I mean, are we cool? You've been kind of weird today and..."

"We're cool." He assures, but I'm not convinced.

"Justin." I warn.

"Delilah." He mocks me with a large grin. "Don't worry about it. Yes, last night was...different. But, I'm glad you opened up and everything is good now so drop it."

"Are you sure?" I ask again and he groans.

"Yes Lilah geez!" Justin says exasperatingly. "You're blowing my high."

"Oh so you're high huh?"

"A little." Justin grins and I shake my head at him.

"You're too much Justin." I snicker, getting more comfortable. "But this is nice."

"It is." He agrees, lying back.

"So, summer's coming up." I state, trying to hold on to the little conversation we have going. I'm not looking for any awkward silence to fall between us right now.

"Uh huh..." Justin mutters mindlessly as he gazes up at the sky.

"And, I'm going home to Boston to visit my family. My brother will also be home. So, uh, I guess I'll be seeing you for the September semester." I point out and Justin turns to look at me with questioning eyes.

"You're going to come out to visit though." He suggests and I scowl deeply.

"What?" I'm confused.

"To California. You're going to come visit me right?" He inquires with hopeful eyes and I nearly laugh in his face.

"Are you asking or telling me?"

"A little of both." He sniggers. "Don't you want to?"

"That's a very strange way of asking me Justin." I divulge and he chortles lightly.

"Ok, fine. Delilah, will you come out to visit me in California on our summer break?"

"Why?" I question and Justin glares at me for a brief moment before responding.

"I don't know. It could be fun. We could hang out. You'd get a taste of my real life. And, the change in environment would be good for you too." Justin explains.

All very valid points.

"No." I simply state and his eyes widen in shock.

"No?" He spits.

"No." I reiterate and in the blink of an eye Justin is off his lounge chair and standing right in front of me, blocking my view of the pool.

"Well why the hell not Lilah?" He snaps and I gaze up at him lazily.

"Wow Justin. It's not that serious. I simply don't think it's a good idea that's all."

"Again, why the hell not?"

"Because..." I begin but he interrupts me.

"Because nothing. Whatever you're going to say is just some lame excuse on why you can't come. I'm not asking you to spend the entire summer with me Lilah. I expect you to spend it with your family but one or two weeks off to head down to sunny Cali to hang with Trace, Rachel and I shouldn't be a problem." Justin states and he's right. I know he's right.

That shouldn't be much of a problem and I'm sure my parents won't mind one bit. They're all for me spreading my wings and getting out into the world. Plus, we're friends right? And friends visit each other and hang out.

I guess I'm skeptical because I have no idea what to expect. I mean, I know the preppy Higher Heights Justin who's a student just like me dealing with the everyday school stress I deal with. That's the Justin I know and I've grown to like. But this other Justin...the real Justin if you will, who's a business man and superstar extraordinaire, I don't know him. And, who's to say I'll like him, or his lifestyle?

I don't want the vision I have of him to be tainted by his celebrity world. I don't...

"Are you ignoring me?" Justin asks before he grips my hand and forces me to stand.

"No." I shrug and he curves his brows at me.

"Ok, let's make a deal. If I score higher than you on our art history exam, you have to come out to Cali to spend at least two weeks of your summer break with me. If you score higher, I'll see you in September." Justin propositions and I glare at him like he's crazy.

"You do know that's a ridiculous bet right? Odds are I'll score higher. Art is my major Justin."

"Don't be so sure. I studied girl. We'll know next week when results come out." He grins, looking down at me and I shrug.

"Fine, it's a deal." I cave.

"Sweet."

"Maybe we should head back to the party now. We've been out here for a little while."

"Ok..." Justin agrees and I nod, turning around to head back in but he stops me. "One more thing though." He whispers, spinning me around to face him.

"What now Justin?" I groan in annoyance. Oh yes, he still irritates me to the point where I want to strangle him sometimes.

He looks down at me with a serious expression on his face, his blues boring into my gray-browns.

"I could easily regret this but..." He trails off, licking his lips and I gasp when I realize what's probably on his mind. Before I can stop him, he leans down and places a delicate kiss on my lips, one that leaves my lips tingling and burning for more before he pulls away.

I glare at him in perplexity, the thought of slapping him crossing my mind, but I'm too shocked to do anything. "Are you that high? You don't look like you are." I say.

"I'm almost fully sober." Justin agrees with a devious smile on his face.

"So what the hell was that for Justin?" Oh my god, he's trying to kill me. He's trying to confuse me to death.

What's really going on in that head of his?

He turns serious for a split second before breaking out into a big smile. Leaning down, he shifts his head to the side to whisper in my ear. "Come to Cali to visit and you'll find out." He whispers before pulling away.

"You can't be serious." I groan, folding my arms across my chest.

"I finally figured it out Lilah. I figured us out. But you haven't, not yet anyway." Justin explains. "I can help you, but only if you ask me to, only if you're ready to put everything into perspective and not run away or hide from your problems like you've been doing."

"So you're blackmailing me to come visit you for summer if I want to know whatever it is you've figured out?"

"No, I'm persuading you." He corrects me. "The change of environment would be good and we'll be away from any distractions."

"So, let me get this straight. You're persuading me by kissing me?" I ask incredulously.

"Technically, it was a friendly peck on the lips to show that I care." Justin counters seriously.

"Ugh! I thought we agreed to be full out honest with each other? I thought we agreed we can't keep doing this!? No dillydallying! You're impossible Justin!" I yell.

"Maybe, but at least, I'm not confused anymore." He glowers at me, his smile now gone since I just raised my voice at him. I can't help it. He gets under my skin and drives me up the wall sometimes.

"Oh really?" I chide. "And when exactly did this moment of clarity come to you?" I snap, fully aggravated with him and his half answers.

He takes a step away from me with a displeased look on his face. "Last night, when you were crying your eyes out." He hisses forcefully. "When all I could think about was killing the fucking asshole for ever hurting you the way he did. When all I wanted to do was comfort you and take all the pain away. When I realized that maybe, just maybe I was fooling myself into thinking that you were just a friend to me all this time. Not that you weren't at first but, you're clearly a lot more than that now." Justin spits, shaking his head at me.

"Wait, what?" I ask in astonishment.

"Just forget I said anything Lilah. The last thing you need if for me to add to your problems. I really think you need to make a mends with your past first before we try to settle whatever issues we have going on between us."

"But you said..."

"I know what I said. I say a lot of things."  Justin groans. "Forget about it Lilah..." He pauses, giving me a long hard look before he turns away. "I'll see you inside. I'm heading back to the party."

And just like that he's gone, disappearing back into the house, leaving me alone stunned.

Forget about it? It's a little too late for that!

I gaze at my surroundings, trying to make sense of what just transpired out here.

Oh my god, this is crazy. Justin is going to be the death of me. How can he do this? How can he say these things to me and then walk away like that? What the hell happened to him last night? Ugh, it's my fault for dumping my past on him like I did. I know it's my fault but that doesn't mean he's not acting beyond strange to me.

I really hope the rest of my stay here isn't going to be as weird because I don't think I'll be able to deal. But, did he admit to having feelings for me that went past friendship? And if so, what does it all mean?

Justin's right, I'm still confused, now more than ever.

I don't blame him for not wanting to make things worse by talking about whatever's going on with him. But, his odd behavior isn't helping either.

Still...

"What just happened?"

16. Laid Back Saturday

Next Day

"We've got chicken, fish...we could grill them if you'd like and I'll make some greens to go with them. How does that sound?" I ask, turning to look at Delilah who's carefully packing away some glasses into the cabinet.

"Sounds good." She murmurs, never turning to even look at me as she stretches up to continue her task.

It's the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday and we're basically hanging around. We spent the entire morning cleaning up from the party last night. We finished about an hour ago and now we're working on preparing something to eat. I also have to make sure that the other guest bedrooms are made up since Rachel and Trace are coming in tomorrow.

But, it's nice having today all to ourselves with nothing to do. I hardly ever have these off days.

And, I'm kind of glad that I'm getting to spend it with Delilah.

Ignoring the little argument we had last night, I'm over it now. I hope she is too. I can understand her hesitation about coming out to visit me in California on our summer break but I wish she'd give it more consideration. I mean, we would have a blast. Trace and Rach would make sure of that. But I can't really try to convince Lilah about that again now. I'll have to wait a while before I can try again with her. She's can be weird sometimes.

"I'm going to set up the grill outside...you can just..." I pause when Delilah turns to look at me with a light smirk on her face. "Stay here, continue what you're doing." I mutter nervously while rubbing the back of my neck.

I'm slowly becoming aware of the fact that I tend to feel uneasy whenever she stares at me for long periods at a time. That never used to happen before. I'm not sure what it means, but it's almost like I've suddenly become self-conscious around her. In fact, whenever she looks at me like how she's staring now, I can't help but obsess over what's possibly passing through her mind. Hopefully, it's nothing bad.

"Aye aye captain." She mocks with a salute and I laugh lightly.

"Cute Lilah." I shake my head and quickly grab what I need to fire up the grill outside.

It doesn't take me long to get everything set up.

With Delilah's help, we were able to get the fish and chicken on the grill and now, I'm actually waiting on the last batch to get done.

Delilah went ahead and prepared the vegetables so in a few minutes, we should be eating.

"Damn I'm starving." I growl, rubbing my stomach with my free hand.

"Justin?"

"Yeah." I look up from where I'm standing in front of the grill close to the pool area. I notice that Delilah is holding the cordless phone in her grasp with a light frown on her face. "What's going on Lilah?" I ask cautiously.

"You have a call." She murmurs in a displeased tone before handing me the phone and disappearing back into the house.

I watch her retreating form before I take a step to the side and place the phone to my ear.

"Yes hello?"

"Justin? Who was that who answered the phone?"

Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose before moving to rest against the side of the house.

"Jess...hey." I say softly hearing her scoff on the line.

"Who was that Justin?" She questions again and I frown.

"Just a friend." I spit forcefully, hoping she'll get the hint to let it go.

"A friend huh? Ok." She says flatly.

"How did you...how did you even get this number Jess? And what do you want?" I ask curiously.

"Rachel gave it to me because I couldn't get you on your cell." She says timidly and I roll my eyes.

Thanks a lot Rach.

"Uh huh." I mumble, my eyes traveling towards the sliding doors that lead into the kitchen.

I watch intently as Delilah cleans up the kitchen and I smile softly, noting the apparent scowl on her cute face. Hmm, I wonder what Jess told her when she took the call.

"I just wanted to know when you were coming home for your summer break. I know Rach and Trace are coming to visit you for the remaining time you have in New York, but I was hoping that when you came to LA we could maybe catch up?" Jess says hopefully and I quickly snap out of my daydreaming.

"I uh..." I hesitate, not knowing what answer to give her. On one hand, I would like us to catch up and maybe clear things up between us, but, on the other hand, I'm not sure if I really want to deal with her on my break. I know that sounds bad but, Jessica can be a handful. "Sure uh...I should be home in two weeks. We'll see how things go. I'll be in touch." I say distractedly, still eyeing Delilah.

"Ok, because I was hoping that..."

But I tune Jess out when I notice Delilah trip and the stack of plates she had in her hands crash to the floor.

"Shit." I gasp, quickly heading towards the kitchen.

"Justin? Hello? What's wrong?"

"What? Oh um, nothing Jess. Listen, we'll talk some other time ok? I have to go now." I quickly rattle out.

"But I was..."

"Ok, cool, bye Jess." I quickly hang up and enter the kitchen, placing the phone down on a nearby counter. "So, miss clumsy, do you need help?" I chuckle with my arms folded across my chest as I gaze down at Delilah.

"I'm so sorry Justin." She whines on her hands and knees, carefully pushing the broken plates out of the way. "I have butter fingers or something." She giggles helplessly.

I'm tempted to laugh as I hover over her, taking in her distraught expression, but I quickly sober up when I notice how easily she could get hurt from cleaning up the mess she caused. "It's Ok. But hey, you could get cut Lilah, get up." I demand before leaning down and wrapping my arms around her waist. I force her to stand and face me and she looks up at me with a pout on her face.

"I'll buy them back." She assures and I laugh at her, brushing some of her hair out of her face.

"It's ok, they're just plates Lilah." I coo, taking in her gray-browns.

"But I broke them Justin. I should buy them back." She argues.

"Lilah, they're just plates." I reassure her but she shakes her head in protest.

"No. You can't make excuses for me every time I do something wrong, mess up or make a mistake Justin. You always brush things off and say it's ok, but it's not ok." She grunts angrily and I eye her strangely, remaining quiet for a while.

"Uh..." I pause in hesitation. "Are we still talking about the plates you broke?" I ask suspiciously.

"What?" Delilah gasps in shock. "Of course we are. Please, let me buy them back Justin. I'd feel better if I did." She divulges.

Somehow, I doubt she would. Plus, I don't want her wasting her money on something so trivial either.

"Would you just take my word for it and let it go?" I say more forcefully and Delilah sighs, clearly not in the mood to debate the issue.

"Ok, ok, fine you win. But I am sorry." She says almost in a whisper and I smile brightly.

"Forget about it." I grin. "Why don't you check the food on the grill and I'll clean up here ok? And then we can eat and hang out for the rest of the day." I suggest and she nods silently before excusing herself to head outside.

Sighing, I stare at the mess on the floor before passing my hands through my hair. Those plates were antics. They cost me a few hundred a piece and she managed to break at least seven.

Yet, I'm not mad. Not even a little. If anything, I was worried Lilah would have hurt herself on the shards when she attempted to clean them up.

Wow.

"I really need to get it together..."

**

Hours Later

"You gotta love the shit they get themselves into. I swear these guys are my inspiration for my bachelor party." I laugh loudly.

"That's so wrong Justin." Delilah snickers, smacking my arm playfully. "Your wife to be would have every reason to be worried then." She laughs.

"Lilah, it's the classic rule. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." I chuckle. "Trust me I'd know." I quip and she curves a brow at me before shaking her head in amusement.

I grin brightly, shifting in my seat as we continue to watch the movie ‘Hangover' on DVD. This movie is hilarious and so true. It's a testament to the craziness that can happen to you if you get too carried away in Vegas. Yeah, I'm loving it.

Delilah and I are comfortably lazing on the couch in our pajamas after stuffing our stomachs with the food we prepared earlier.

Today turned out to be a laid back Saturday and I'm happy about that.

Ending the day with a movie is the perfect touch.

I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but the more time that goes by, the more I'm realizing that I'd love if Delilah was a permanent fixture in my life like my close family and friends.

I don't want us to lose touch with each other when our time at Higher Heights is over.

Most importantly, I want her to feel the same way.

Sometimes I'm not sure how she really feels about me.

She can be hot and cold and confusing as hell but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that we work well together. That's what I figured out about us. We may not make sense and our relationship may be unusual but it's endearing and fits us perfectly.

I'm kind of starting to think that maybe we were meant to meet up like this. I mean, the way everything happened wasn't planned, but I'm glad my life took the detour it did else I wouldn't have the pleasure of knowing the amazing woman sitting next to me right now, laughing her head off at what has to be one of my new favorite movies of all time.

And it finally dawns on me...like a sudden, unexpected, unanticipated slap in the face.

I finally get it now. I get what this is...what this all is, what it all means. I know now why I value this friendship so much to the point where I'm willing to fight and do whatever I can to keep it.

My laughs die out and I turn to look at Delilah closely who's engrossed with the movie again.

I study her intently, taking in the way her face scrunches in disgust or amusement. I watch how her shoulder-length straight hair bounces with each move she makes since it's so light and soft.

And I sigh, shaking my head in disbelief as I look away from her.

It doesn't take long before the words start forming in my mind on what it is exactly that I'm feeling, what I've been feeling for some time now but wasn't able to indentify.

I care about her. I care about Delilah Marshall. I care about her past friendship.

Shit...

That's why I willingly fought her battles for her. That's why I was willing to look the blind eye.

At first, I thought I was just being a protective friend, or maybe even brother figure...that is, until we kissed the first time out in the halls a few months ago. Then, I realized it wasn't brotherly, but maybe it was still the overprotective friend in me since I'm that type of guy.

But now, now I've realized that the moment I met Delilah, I was drawn to her...everything about her. She was an intriguing mystery to me. I wanted to know her, wanted to figure her out. And, I loved the fact that she wasn't afraid to tell me exactly what was on her mind when I annoyed her or pissed her off. She may not be my ‘type' per say but that's ok. In fact, she's the complete opposite of the women I go for but again, that's part of her appeal and what drew me to her. Opposites attract right? So, I'm thinking that's the case here...so much so that I care about her a little more than I ever thought was possible.

There were a lot of things I expected and anticipated about Higher Heights and what school life was going to be like.

But I never expected this.

And by that, I mean I never expected to be...to be...falling for any of the students, especially Delilah Marshall.

I cringe in thought, my blues drifting in her direction when she giggles loudly.

Fucking hell, this is bad. This is...this can't happen. This can't happen for two reasons.

One, I'm pretty sure she doesn't even feel the same way and two, she's Delilah. It's a simple statement but complicated and complex at the core.

I have no idea where she stands emotionally with anything really but trying to convince her that we could be good for each other is one challenge I'm not sure I'll even have the slightest chance of winning.

The messed up thing is, I have no idea when this happened; but it did. It happened without me even realizing it.

And I'm totally fucked.

I groan softly, swiping my palms over my face as I try to gather my thoughts and stop thinking about this...about this dilemma.

"Justin, you ok?" Delilah questions, touching my arm softly, causing me to wince.

"I'm fine." I snap, not looking at her. "Why?" I ask, swallowing hard.

"You stopped laughing. You turned unusually quiet; are you sure you're ok?"

I turn to look at her, noting the worry in her orbs and I sigh. I can't tell her what's on my mind. Not like this, not yet.

Before I can muster up some lie, I'm granted reprieve when the doorbell rings.

I quickly jump on my feet, thankful for the interruption. "I've got it."  I state, leaving Delilah to answer the door as I ignore the befuddled expression on her face.

I have no idea who's at the door but it's a welcome distraction.

I quickly unbolt the locks and swing the door open only to be greeted by none other than Ryan, Lilah's cousin.

Ok, scratch what I said. This distraction is not welcome. In fact...

"What the fuck do you want? Leave Ryan. Now." I hiss, about to slam the door in his face but he stops me, blocking my advances with his foot.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to why I'm here?" He scowls, eyeing me down.

"No." I spit and he scoffs.

"Look Justin, I'm not here to cause trouble. I need to speak to Delilah. I know she's here."

"She's sleeping." I lie.

"Well wake her up then, it's important." He states.

"I really don't think you should..."

"Justin, this is serious ok? It's about Ethan, his dad, and what his dad is about to do to Delilah's dad if you don't let me talk to her. I'm not sure what happened exactly, but Mr. Marshall and Mr. Landing's feud because of their children is getting out of hand. I know for a fact that Delilah will blame herself if Mr. Landing does anything to jeopardize her dad's Real Estate business and good reputation." Ryan hisses and I curve my brows at him in question. "Wait, hasn't she told you..."

"She told me...about her past." I quickly interrupt him and he nods.

"And you're still here huh?" He states more than asks.

"I'm not going anywhere Ryan." I say forcefully and he nods in understanding.

"I know I haven't been the best cousin but..."

"I'm not the one you came out here to talk to." I cut him off.

I reluctantly take a step to the side so he can enter and he gives me an unsure look before stepping inside.

"Thanks." He mutters and I shake my head in acknowledgement.

"She's in the living room. We're watching a movie." I tell him before shutting the door and leading him to Delilah.

"You know, maybe you're not so bad Justin. You sure helped save the team that's for sure." Ryan voices honestly as we make our way into the living room.

I chuckle lightly, giving Delilah my full attention when she notices Ryan and quickly stands to make her way over to us.

"You better not make Ethan hear you say that Ryan. I mean, what would he think?" I mock shock and Ryan laughs uneasily in return.

I watch intently as Delilah asks Ryan what he's doing here and he stumbles over his words.

Well, I guess our laid back Saturday is over. At least, I can safely say that it's not going to be a long night simply because it's rolling into midnight which means Sunday is just around the corner.

And you know what that means? My peaceful time will soon be over because with Rachel and Trace in the mix, nothing is ever simple or laid back.

17. Blazed Sunday

Next day...

"Damn J! This place is fucking spotless dude! Did you hire a maid while we were gone?"

"No asshole! I just thought, you know, I'd clean up for once since you all were coming through."

"Sure man, I totally believe you..."

My eyes flutter open and I roll onto my back smiling as I listen to Justin and Trace talking loudly and obnoxiously in the hallway.

"What aren't you telling us Justin?" Rachel pipes in and I giggle, shaking my head in amusement.

What a way to wake up. It's fun listening to them though as I stretch out my limbs from where I'm lying on what has to be one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept on.

"Nothing, would you two please keep it down?" Justin demands in a low hiss.

"Why?" Trace inquires as their voices get closer and closer to my bedroom door.

"Because...because..." Justin hesitates and I can hear Rachel and Trace snickering. "Delilah's still sleeping." Justin snaps.

"Delilah's here? Oh really now. And why didn't you tell us that she was here?" Trace says suspiciously and I frown.

They didn't know I was going to be here?

"That would explain the clean house." Rachel teases.

"Shut it Rach." Justin snaps. "You know I'm a neat freak myself." He states.

"No shit. When your OCD kicks in you're a beast when it comes to cleanliness dude." Trace divulges and I hear Justin groan loudly.

"Both of you just shut the hell up and let's get your luggage to your rooms before you wake Delilah."

"But..."

"Shut the fuck up Trace! I'll talk to you when we get back downstairs." Justin growls and that's the last thing I hear before silence takes over and all I'm left with are faint footsteps and doors opening and closing.

I remain in my same spot for a bit, squinting under the rays of sunlight seeping through the curtains in the room.

Justin didn't tell Rachel and Trace I was going to be here? But why? The way he spoke about them coming over, I thought they knew. He lied and made it seem like they knew I was going to be here. For some reason that really pisses me off. But that's nothing compared to the surprise visit we got from Ryan last night.

I still can't believe that Ethan lied to his dad and told him some bogus story about I was pressuring him and messing up his game flow when I haven't even set foot in the gym for a long time. Ugh! I'm really starting to dislike Ethan. I have no idea what he's up to but I made sure to give my dad a heads up. Ryan can be useful when he chooses to be.

Justin seemed pretty calm about everything for the most part, but I know Justin well enough to know that when he sees Ethan again, he's not going to let what Ryan told us slide. I just hope it doesn't mess up the big game they have coming up at the end of the week.

Brushing off my thoughts, I stretch and finally hop off the bed so I can take a quick shower then grab something to eat.

"Now that Trace and Rachel are here...things should be fun."

**

Hours Later

"Your ex sounds like a psycho." Trace laughs loudly while sipping on his beer.

"Tell me about it." I sigh helplessly, sitting Indian style on the living room couch.

I just spent the last hour updating Trace on my life story. I figured, if he's Justin's best friend, then he must be someone trustworthy and worth talking to. I was right. He's a great listener and managed to crack jokes and make me laugh about my horrible situation with Ethan along the way.

Plus, this opening up to people thing isn't half bad. I guess Justin knew what he was talking about.

I didn't have much of a choice either since I've been stuck with Trace all afternoon. Justin and Rachel went out to do some shopping at Rachel's request so Trace and I got time to hang out and get to know each other better.

I'm not complaining. His company is nice.

"So, Justin told me you all are getting really close and that might be why your ex's been bitching." Trace speaks up.

I eye him wearily, noting how his brows curve with interest as I try to find the right words to respond.

"I guess I mean...I don't know. Ethan hasn't spoken to me in forever and then all of a sudden he wants to mend the past when Justin comes into the picture." I shrug and Trace nods, finishing off his beer before placing the empty bottle down.

"Sounds like a douche move to me." Trace says seriously and I giggle.

"I'm not worried though. By the end of this year, I'll be done with Higher Heights and done with Ethan." I beam.

"And what about Justin?" Trace inquires and my smile falls instantly.

"What about Justin?" I query.

"Will you be done with him too?"

There's a mischievous glint in Trace's eyes when he says this. What is he up to?

"I never gave it much thought. I mean, he'll be back to his regular lifestyle right? Whatever that is...and I'll be working on my art career so..."

I drift, not knowing what else to say. I don't want to be done with Justin. I want us to remain friends but, it's already hard to do now. How would we survive his life and my life combined?

"So just because you won't be seeing each other every day doesn't mean you have to cut all ties with each other." Trace interjects and I remain silent, glaring at him. "He told me he asked you to come out and chill with us in Cali on your summer break. He also told me that you said no." Trace grins brightly and I frown, wondering what part of this is funny.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because, someone actually told him no." Trace chuckles but I fail to see the humor.

"Is he that spoilt?" I ask in curiosity.

"Yes and no. Justin's a complex person Delilah. But, the fact that you told him no very bluntly, I've decided that I like you a lot." Trace laughs and I can't help but crack a smile this time. "He was right. You're different, and I like that. Plus, you treat Justin like any other annoying guy when he gets on your nerves. That's also a plus. You're not one of those girls who drool over him and I think part of that is why he's so taken with you. But, you should come out. I'm sure you'd enjoy getting a tiny taste of his life outside your prison walls. And we'll have fun. Consider it." Trace states and I nod my head in agreement.

"Ok."

"Cool. You also look like you're stressed or maybe you have a lot on your mind. You need to relax some. Want to join me outside for a smoke?" Trace offers and my nose scrunches up in disgust.

"Ugh, Trace cigarettes are bad for you. They're slow killers." I point out and he laughs loudly before standing and stretching out his limbs. I do the same, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Who said anything about cigarettes Delilah?" He questions before dipping his hand into his jeans pocket and pulling out a small plastic bag.

I focus on the item and gasp in slight astonishment.

"Marijuana?" I ask in shock. "You smoke pot?"

"Who hasn't at one point in their life? I'm not really a smoker. I don't do this often anymore. Only once in a while. But Justin and I blazed a lot when we were younger, all back in his N'sync days. We've grown out of that hype though. Still doesn't hurt to mellow out every now and then."

"But I...I don't smoke." I hesitate, eyeing the substance in Trace's grasp.

I always used to be around Ethan when he and his friends would ‘light up' but I never had the guts to try it out. I've always been curious though about what it's like.

"Suit yourself. I'm not forcing you. I mean, you've got nothing to lose right? I'll be outside if you change your mind." Trace smiles and gives me a wink before he disappears out by the pool area.

I remain in my seat for a few more minutes, toying with my fitted black top and grey cotton shorts. I glance around, taking in the large plasma television and fireplace.

"Damn it, what the hell am I doing?" I whisper to myself before standing up and going in search of Trace.

He's right. I'm on edge because of everything happening in my life right now and I need to let the stress out. Is this the best way to do it? Probably not. But it's the only quick fix I have right now.

I find Trace sitting out by the pool taking a few puffs of his rolled up joint and I heave a sigh. I walk over to him and take a seat next to him all the while keeping my focus dead ahead on the pool.

"Are you sure?" He asks me while blowing out some smoke.

I take a whiff of the smoke and stretch out my hand to him, finally locking eyes with him as I note his amused expression. "Pass it." I demand and he does just that.

I glare at the joint in my hand for a mere second before I bring it up to my lips and take a long pull. I hold back my coughs and blow out the smoke before swallowing hard, the aftertaste causing me to cringe.

"Not bad Delilah." Trace sniggers when I pass him the joint.

"I'm so going to regret this." I groan, trying to get used to the feeling of having anything other than oxygen and carbon dioxide in my lungs.

"Maybe...maybe not. See, the best thing about a weed high is..." Trace pauses before taking a pull and blowing out the smoke. He licks his lips and passes the joint back to me while smiling. "There are no hangovers."

**

Later...

"Oh my gosh, the water is so blue!" I giggle wildly and Trace chuckles as well.

"Not really, it's the reflection of the sky." He points out as we both sit at the edge of the pool with our feet in the water.

"So, what gives the sky its color then?" I inquire, turning to look at him with glazed eyes.

"Uh...hell if I know. It's not really blue per say. It's all this science mumbo jumbo." He snickers and I smile until my cheeks hurt.

"That's awesome." I whisper before laying flat on my back with my hands stretched out on the pavement.

"Why are you whispering?" Trace asks, following suit to lie next to me.

"I don't know." I snort, erupting in laughter again.

"Oh shit, you're so high Delilah." Trace chortles.

"Really? I feel like...like I'm floating." I sigh contently and he groans.

"Definitely high." He reiterates.

"Whatever! I blame you and your green monster."

"Green monster? Holy shit." Trace busts out in laughing fits and I giggle along with him, not really knowing what the joke is.

"Guys! We're back!"

"Justin?" I frown at the sound of his voice. "Where the hell is that coming from?" I inquire because he sounds like he's so far away.

Trace gives me a look and shakes his head before responding. "We're out by the pool J!"

It's not long before I hear footsteps and notice a shadow blocking out my sunlight...well, the little light that's left from the setting sun anyway.

"Move, you're in my light!" I groan, lifting my hand to push at the person's legs. I immediately cringe and look up only to find Justin's sparkling blues looking down at me befuddled. "Goddamn, your legs are hairy Justin." I giggle, my palms slicking up and down his leg until I get to his toes and pinch the big one. "You should shave." I suggest and he smirks but remains quiet.

He takes a step away from me and I turn my head to see Rachel standing on the other side next to Trace.

"What the hell are you all doing lying on the pavement?" Rachel speaks up.

"Nothing." Trace mumbles. He says I'm high, but he's stoned as well.

"Everything." I add in.

"What the fuck is this?" Justin laughs lightly. "Are you all drunk?" He asks and Trace shakes his head before showing them the half full bag of weed.

"Nah man, we're high!" Trace drawls, finally sitting up and looking around dazed.

"Flying like a kite." I add in and I hear Rachel giggle in return.

"Ok then, well, I'm just going to take Trace here into the kitchen with me and Justin...you handle that." Rachel quips, referring to me I'd assume.

I watch intently as she helps Trace to stand so she can lead him back into the house.

"Don't be mad at Delilah Justin! We were just hanging out, having fun!" Trace calls out before he and Rachel disappear inside, leaving Justin and me alone.

I sigh, shifting my vision to the sky again, loving the light-headed feeling I have. Trace was right. This is much better than being drunk. It's like, I feel at peace with myself and with the world. It's like, everything is so clear and makes so much more sense.

"I can't believe you're high on weed Lilah." Justin says in disbelief while kicking off his shoes before he takes a seat next to me at the edge of the pool. "I should be angry, no furious at you for smoking it and at Trace for giving it to you but I'm not."

That grabs my interest and I slowly sit up before turning to face him.

"Why?" I question, taking in his soft yet worried stare.

"I don't know...I can't really be mad at you..." He trails off with a shrug and I scowl at him.

"Would it count if I said I was sorry?" I inquire and he smiles.

"What exactly are you apologizing to me for?" Justin nudges me playfully and I giggle, pushing him back.

"I'm not sure exactly. When I figure it out I'll let you know." I tell him.

"You do that." He shakes his head in amusement, casting his vision towards the pool and I sigh before resting my head on his shoulder.

He tenses a bit before relaxing against me. "Maybe we should head inside Lilah."

"I like it out here."

"I know but, Rach and I got food for everyone."

"I'm not hungry." I voice.

"Really? I usually have the munchies really bad when I'm high." Justin divulges and I hum in response.

"Trace and I raided the kitchen already." I giggle.

"Ah, that would explain the half eaten bag of Doritos on the counter." Justin muses.

"Uh huh..." I mutter distractedly. "Hey Justin?" I say softly.

"Hmm?"

"Would it be the weed talking if I told you you're not so bad after all?"

"I hope not." He whispers as I get more comfortable against him and my feet splash around some water.

"Would you believe me if I said I thought you were a great person despite the shit I've given you? And that you're a cutie, even when you're mad? And that I've missed you a lot more than I'm willing to admit? Would you believe me if I said I think I've developed a crush on you that goes past friendship?" I ask him, lifting my head to gaze into his blues.

He's looking at me with apprehension. He looks shocked like he doesn't know what to do or say.

"Ok, Lilah I think we should..."

"No!" I growl in protest, gripping his arm before he can attempt to move. "I mean it Justin. I don't think it's the high talking. I think, I always felt like this but never realized it until now."

"And what would that be exactly?" He's frowning at me, his lips pursing together as his brows knit in uncertainty.

Wow. What the hell did Trace put in that joint? Can weed make you hallucinate? I don't think so. So, why am I seeing this glow to Justin that I've never noticed before? Why is every single feature on him magnified all of a sudden? How comes I'm only now realizing how clear and blue his eyes are, how pink his lips are, or the fact that his hair has two color tones to it? How comes I'm only now noticing how thick and full his eyebrows and eyelashes are as he continues to glower at me? And, was he always this buff where I can see how defined his arms are in his t-shirt? Not to mention the fact that even if his legs are hairy, they're really firm too.

He's cute...no he's gorgeous. I'll give him that. But, still, I'm not like those girls who go crazy and loose all trend of thought at the sight of him. He's still preppy Justin to me. He still annoys me. Is it because he hasn't sung for me in person I don't see the whole celebrity factor to him and why people make such a big deal?

"Lilah? Are you going to answer me?" Justin inquires, interrupting my rambunctious thoughts.

"What if I said I like you?" I blurt out and he laughs softly.

"I like you too Lilah. Can we head in now?" He makes an attempt to move but I stop him.

"I swear it's not the high talking!" I try to reason even if my head is on its own planet right now.

"Sure." Justin says sarcastically and I groan.

"No listen Justin! I like you! I've always liked you! Oh my gosh, it makes perfect sense now. That's why I've tolerated you for so long."

"Geez, thanks..."

"It's not a bad thing though." I state in the middle of my epiphany when Justin decides to shift away from me to stand.

"I'm going in to grab a bite to eat. I'm kind of hungry. You can come in whenever."

"No Justin wait!" I call out to him, now on my feet as well. I rush over to him before he can make his way into the house and I spin him around to face me.

"I just told you I like you and you're walking away from me?" I state panic-stricken.

"I'm not even sure you know what you're saying right now Lilah." He mumbles sadly and I shake my head frantically.

"I do know. I know I'd be an idiot to not like you...to not care about someone as great as you. I'd be an even bigger idiot if I lied to you and to myself and called what we have simply friendship when it's much more than that now." I take in a deep breath, trying to make sense of my rampant thoughts. My heartbeat is steady and harsh and I feel like my feet are barely touching the ground but I ignore all of that because I think I just...I think I just admitted to having feelings for Justin. "I'd be an idiot if I said I didn't like those times when we kissed and that I didn't want it to happen again because...because I do want that moment again...among other things." I ramble out.

Justin's eyes widen as he looks at me but I can't decipher what emotions he's experiencing right now. His eyes give nothing away except maybe mild shock. "Among other things huh?"

I smile bashfully for him but he doesn't return the gesture.

"You're high Lilah." He decides with a shake of his head. "Try again when you're sober and we'll talk. I'll probably be an idiot for walking away from you now but that's what I'm going to do. I don't need to hear this right now." Justin admits before turning around to leave but I stop him yet again, determined to get my point across.

"No... Justin...I mean it! I do have feelings for you!"

I run in front of him to block his path, hoping he'll reconsider taking me seriously. Let me just say, I have no idea what's come over me.

Before I know it, one thing leads to another and the next thing I know I'm not only stopping him from leaving, but I'm also kissing him...our lips planted firmly against each other as I grip fistfuls of his shirt and he cups my cheeks in his palms, neither of us having any plans of stopping anytime soon...

18. Early Morning Monday

End of May

Next day...

My eyes shoot open and I sit up with a start breathing hard.

I look around, realizing it's still night, or according to my clock, minutes to five am.

"Shit..." I sigh while rubbing at my bare chest. "Did I dream that?" I wonder, images of Delilah and I kissing out by the pool flooding my mind.

I'm in my bedroom obviously and everyone turned in for the night so...I begin replaying yesterday's events in my mind.

I went out with Rachel and then came home to a high Trace and Delilah. Delilah ended up confessing that she...she liked me or whatever under her weed high and then when I attempted to leave, she stopped me and we ended up kissing. I think that about sums it all up.

So it wasn't a dream. I didn't dream her saying she had a crush on me or that she had feelings for me. Granted she was high when she said it. I'm kind of hoping she'll still feel the same way when she's sober and wakes up. It would make things a lot easier if she did.

Tensing when I feel shifting next to me, I frown and look to the other side of my bed.

Air rushes into my lungs when I make out a head of dark soft hair sprawled out on my pillow blocking out the person's face.

But I know who it is. I know exactly who's lying next to me. What I'd like to know is how and when she got here because I distinctly remember going to bed alone.

After Lilah and I kissed out by the pool last night, I sort of still walked away from her and headed into the house. In fact, I passed Rachel and Trace straight and headed right up to my room before I ended up doing or saying something I would regret. I was pissed and confused. I was angry at myself for giving into Lilah and at her for getting my hopes up.

I didn't even pause long enough to see her reaction.

I mean, who the fuck am I kidding? High Delilah and sober Delilah are two very different women. One is outspoken, bold and funny and the other is withdrawn, uptight and sometimes brusque.

I thought that by the time the next day came, we'd be back to square one.

I should have maybe stayed to find out how far we could have gone but the logical and decent side of me wasn't going to take advantage of her or the situation.

But I loved kissing her; god I loved kissing her a lot.

Still, what the hell is she doing here right now, sound asleep, snoring lightly beside me?

"Lilah?" I whisper, nudging her shoulder gently.

When she doesn't budge I sigh and smooth my palms over my bare chest.

I smirk softly when I realize that I'm only in my boxers here.

Clearing my throat, I pass my hands over my head and throw the covers off my body before kneeling to face her sleeping form.

I look at her closely, noting the large t-shirt she has on where one side is hanging slightly off her shoulder.

She's partially on her side and stomach and her hair is covering most of her face which has me wondering how she's breathing between her hair and the pillow.

"Lilah." I call a little louder this time.

Nothing.

Groaning, I bend down and shift some hair out of her face and behind her ear.

I bring my mouth all the way down to her ear and take in a deep breath before shouting lightly, "wake up!"

Her eyes immediately pop open and lock onto my blues in horror.

She gasps in shock but then quickly calms down as she continues to eye me.

"Damn it Justin! Are you trying to make me deaf?" She mumbles, about to turn and go back to sleep but I stop her, my hands gripping her waist to hold her in place as I hover over her.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed Lilah?" I ask in an amused tone, looking at her with interest.

"Sleeping." She mutters with a roll of her eyes.

"Clearly. But, what's wrong with doing that in your own bed down the hall?" I question her again and she sighs before rolling onto her back. "Not that I'm complaining but..." I pause and chuckle softly. "Ok, I am." I decide. "Why are you here?"

I release my hold on her, watching as she casts her vision to the ceiling.

"I don't know; I couldn't sleep." She says lamely.

"Oh is that all." I snap, lying on my side to face her with my elbow on the pillow and my hand propped underneath my head.

"I'm sorry Justin, I was so stoned and wide awake and after I told Trace and Rachel goodnight, I just laid there on my bed for what seemed like forever. Since you sort of stormed out on me I figured I'd go check up on you to see if you were ok, but when I knocked and entered your room, you were already asleep. I asked if you were awake and you actually muttered ‘no.' It was kind of funny. Then, I asked if I could join you because I couldn't sleep and you muttered ‘yeah, get in, but no loud snoring.' So, I hopped in next to you, told you I was sorry and whispered goodnight and you just hummed a response before you were out like a light again." Delilah explains.

"Wow, I have no recollection of that." I chuckle and Delilah giggles in return.

"You talk in your sleep." She nods and my chuckles increase.

"Nothing incriminating I hope." I muse and she shakes her head ‘no.'

Silence engulfs us but strangely enough, there's no awkwardness between us right now.

So maybe I'm still a little iffy about why Delilah's here but I shouldn't be complaining right? This should be a good sign that she remembers what happened earlier out by the pool and...

"About what happened earlier Justin..." Lilah begins, cutting off my trend of thought.

I gaze at her silently, waiting for her to continue.

She doesn't make eye contact with me. She's not even looking at me.

"I remember and..." But I cut her off, not wanting to face the inevitable.

"It's ok Lilah." I sigh, lying on my back as well with my vision now cast upwards.

"No, Justin I..."

"You were high. It's cool. No harm done." I interrupt her again.

"But I want you to know that..."

 "We can forget about whatever happened Lilah. I mean you're sober now right? So, all's well. We'll enjoy the rest of our time here, get back to finish up the last two or so weeks of school and then head home on our summer break..." I state.

"Gosh Justin, would you shut the hell up?!" She snaps and I turn my head in her direction with a half grin on my face.

"Sorry." I groan softly.

"Geez! You're so annoying sometimes and unbearable!" Delilah huffs and I pout lightly.

"Oh don't sugarcoat it or anything, I can take it." I say sarcastically. "Glad to see you're sober and back to your old self." I grumble.

"Aw, no don't do that. But just, ugh! You irritate me Justin. You get under my skin, I can't help it." She admits.

"I feel better now, thanks." I utter dryly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lilah rambles out and I can't help but laugh.

In the blink of an eye, she scoots over to me until we're practically touching before she's on her side facing me with half of her body hovering over me, her gray-browns wide and imploring.

"Ever heard of personal space Lilah? Need I remind you that we're in my room alone, on my bed alone, wearing..." But I drift when I see a smile forming on her face. "Ok, what part of this seems off to you? Because this isn't working for me." I suddenly switch, about to push her away, but I hesitate when she leans down and places a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Justin, nothing I do, think or say makes any sense to me when it comes to you. Had it been anyone else, I would not be in this position I've willingly put myself in presently. But, what I've been trying to tell you for the past how many minutes, without you rudely interrupting me, is that I remember what happened out by the pool last night and...I don't take it back."

"You don't take what back?" I question, playing dumb as I hold Lilah's gaze.

I can feel my heartbeat speeding up and the longer she stays this close to me, the harder it's going to be to keep my self control. I think I'm doing a damn good job right now considering we're still clothed even if we're not wearing much to begin with.

Shit, I can't even believe I feel guilty about thinking of Delilah in that context.

"You're going to make me spell it out for you huh?"

"Pretty much." I state smugly and she shoots me a warning glare.

"Ok Justin. I'll feed your ego just this once. I'm not going to take back what I said to you. I told you it wasn't the high talking and I meant it. I'm sober now. I remember what I said and I still feel the same way. I like you. I'm not going to deny it or pretend anymore. We're friends first and foremost yes, but we're a little more as well. Yes, I think we should talk about where we stand with each other and yes, in order for us to work or whatever, I need to put my past to rest. No, I will not require your help on that part even if I know you'd love to make your fists do the talking. I can handle Ethan on my own. But you were right. I needed to open up and start living my life instead of dwelling and holding onto the past. Everything you've told me since I've gotten to know you has been fact and I was just too stubborn to see it. But, I am grateful that I met you even if we were stuck with each other at first and I wanted nothing to do with you. Thank you for proving me wrong."

Delilah inhales deeply after her explanation and all I can really do is grin like an idiot.

"So..." I start off with a cheesy grin on my face. "Does that mean you're like my girlfriend now?" I ask jokingly.

"Ha! You wish Justin. No." Delilah says bluntly and my smile falls significantly.

"You get a kick out of telling me no huh?"

"Not really...ok kind of."

"Uh huh. But, I like you too. What's the big deal?" I ask in a displeased tone.

"The big deal is I don't know ‘celebrity Justin.' How are you so sure I'll like him?" Delilah challenges while poking me in the chest.

"He's the same guy. I mean, I'm the same guy." I say confused. "I'm me. What you see is what you get Lilah. My life outside of Higher Heights isn't that big of a deal and being here hasn't changed me."

That's not a total lie. Technically, Higher Heights itself hasn't changed me, but, Delilah might have. And I know I'm watering down my celebrity status for her, but the last thing I want is for her to run away because of the publicity and fame that comes with being me and being linked to me. We're finally making progress. I don't want to scare her away.

"Nice try, but from what I know, you're a big deal Justin. Just because I don't keep up with Hollywood and its trends doesn't mean they don't exist. According to Sandra and Michelle, you're the Justin Timberlake. Clearly, emphasis on ‘the' is huge." Delilah giggles and I shake my head in amusement.

"Fine...whatever." I brush her off realizing that as much as I'd love to continue this conversation, the sun isn't up yet which means I should probably try to grab a few more hours of sleep. "I just want to know one thing."

"What?" She inquires.

"Would you be willing to change your mind and come out to California to visit on our break so you can see for yourself that even in my regular surroundings, I'm the same Justin?" I ask hopefully.

She pauses to look at me, seemingly in thought before she exhales softly, ignoring my question. "We should probably get some more sleep. It's way too early to get up. Goodnight Justin." Delilah voices before she turns away from me to get more comfortable.

I stare at her back in disbelief for a brief moment before I shrug everything off, at least for now.

"Uh huh..." I mumble, releasing a light yawn. "Sure, sure. I'll get you to change your mind. And actually, it's good morning by the way." I correct her and she huffs but doesn't say anything else.

I close my eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Delilah is only a few inches away from me, lying on my bed. Having my mind jumping with all kinds of thoughts about her now will not relax me so I can fall back asleep.

It takes me a few seconds to completely clear my mind and allow the sleep to take over.

However, just before I can fully knock out, Delilah breaks the silence between us by whispering the most random thing.

"I really like your angel and cross tattoos by the way. They're nice." She breathes out and my lips slowly curve into a smile as my eyes remain closed. So miss Marshall has been checking me out huh? I wonder what else she's noticed about me.

"Thanks..."

"I have a tat too, but you can't see it; it's hidden." Lilah giggles. She lets out a soft yawn and I actually find that disturbingly cute.

"Well, look at it this way; there are only so many places you could hide it on your body, all of which are discoverable if you allow someone to explore. I'm sure I'll see it eventually...some time...one day." I say positively.

"Uh huh...eventually...you think so?" Lilah asks drowsily.

My eyes flutter open slightly and I take in the dim light seeping into the room through the windows as dawn starts rolling in.

"Without a doubt."

19. Oh...So Close!

A few days later

June

Friday

Lilah's P.O.V

"You know, even if you do that, you're not going to get any smarter Justin." I quip, walking towards him.

"You know, that was so funny, I forgot to laugh." He says dryly and I smile while looking at him closely.

"What are you doing anyway?" I inquire out of curiosity.

I finally decided to check up on him after his basketball practice today and I find him in the gym being...well...Justin.

"I'm just chilling, getting psyched up for the big game later tonight before the dance...which you're going to."

"Right..." I drawl, glaring. I still don't do dances and school basketball games, he knows this. But, there's no getting out of it with him. Believe me, I've tried. "And you standing upside down on your hands helps how?"

"It doesn't. This is just fun. You should try it sometime." Justin grins, looking up at me. "The blood rushing to your head takes some getting used to though."

I smirk, brushing his statement off for the most part. "If I ever put suicide by a broken neck on my list, you'll be the first person I call to show me how to do that."

"Cute Lilah." He huffs and I shrug, taking a seat on the closest bleacher since we're in the school gym. "I'd teach you though, if you really wanted to learn."

"I'll pass." I smile.

I can't complain too much here. I mean, Justin's playing Mr. flexible acrobat in only his gym shorts, socks and sneakers. I'm enjoying the view, even with him the wrong side up.

A few seconds later, he drops his feet and stands upright before coming over to take a seat next to me.

He takes in a deep breath, grinning demurely before he leans towards me to plant a kiss on my lips but I'm quicker and I shift away from him, making him kiss the air instead.

He pouts, slicking his hands over his damp bare chest and I swallow hard, trying my best not to gawk.

How long am I going to be able to put up this front like he has no effect on me? How long can I pretend to not want him? This is absurd, yet I feel like I need to make a point but I'm not sure why.

I confuse my own damn self sometimes.

"In case you forgot Justin, we're in school. Public displays of affection are a big no-no." I point out.

He curves a brow at me, pursing his lips with a light shake of his head. "In case you forgot Lilah, I don't give a damn. People are already talking about us anyway."

It's true. Ever since we threw the little house party at Justin's place and people found out I was sleeping over, the rumors started spreading. We realized what was going on when we returned to school on Tuesday and students were openly staring at us.

It would maybe explain why Justin and I haven't spoken about our little bedroom conversation since it happened. I told him I liked him, he told me he liked me too, and that was it, for now at least. We haven't had much alone time since then either.

Rachel and Trace kept us occupied the rest of the week and then Justin had practice almost every day preparing for the big game. I can't say that I'm not relieved.

I personally have no clue where we should go from here and he's obviously not in a rush to clear that up.

Except, the little touches and kisses here and there are starting to bug me.

"What? Why are you staring at me?" I ask, suddenly self-conscious.

"It's been months and I still can't figure you out Lilah." Justin says softly. "And, I'm really good at figuring people out. In fact, I pride myself on that." He hums, keeping his focus on me.

I laugh softly, thinking that he's funny but still very much annoying, in a cute sort of way. "What is this, a Twilight moment between Edward and Bella where Edward wonders why he can't read Bella's mind?" I question. "Give it up Justin, you will never figure me out...but, keep trying though." I wisecrack and he huffs before standing.

"I will figure you out and when I do, I will most certainly break you down until I have you right where I want you." He says seriously and I roll my eyes in a bored fashion.

"Oh, is that a threat?" I mock him and he grins, waving me off as he begins to walk away and towards the locker rooms.

"No babe, that's a promise!"

"Whatever, you wish!" I yell back and he chuckles loudly.

"I'll see you later at the game Lilah. I've got an interview with the media to do when I get out of here but we'll hook up later." Justin calls out.

"Ok! And be nice for the press!" I scold him before he's out of sight.

Seconds later, his head pops out from around the corner. "You know I'll be nice...I'm innocent after all." He gins mischievously before he winks at me and disappears again.

Oh god, that man. I just hope he knows what he's going to say when the questions start rolling. The media has the ability to twist everything you say around. But, it's Justin. He's had tons of practice and experience right? So, he should be ok.

*****

Later...

In the Cafeteria

Justin's P.O.V

When I agreed to do this interview at my manager Johnny's request, I asked that it be kept as private and as impersonal as possible.

Somehow, my requests went unheard or maybe they were just ignored.

"So Justin, what has your experience here at Higher Heights been like so far? I know your fans are dying to know."

I smile tightly feeling slightly uncomfortable as I shift in my seat since this interview is being conducted in the school cafeteria of all places.

It doesn't get more public than this.

There are students lurking by, hanging on my every word and I'm getting really fucking antsy with this setup.

"It's been good. At first I hated it here I'll be honest, but I've warmed up and made some great friends along the way." I admit.

That's not a total lie, but it's not the truth either. Delilah is the only real friend I've made here since I'm very cautious with who I trust. The other friends I have here are really potential artists from my music class I plan on working with once I'm out of here. The public doesn't need to know that yet though.

The reporter smiles, her blues boring into mine as she flips through her notebook.

I hate that there's a microphone and camera being shoved in my face. You would think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not. It's all about faking the enthusiasm and smile so you don't come off as a jerk.

"That's good. So, sorry to hear again that you got stuck here against your will. Maybe next time you'll be careful with the answers you give on live television huh?" She jokes and I grin widely.

"Don't try to get me in trouble now." I muse and she giggles but it's fake...I can tell. She wants good gossip but I'm not going to give it to her.

Shit, I can't even remember this woman's name. That's how disinterested I am.

"Of course not Justin. But, I would like to know a few more things before we conclude this interview..."

"Shoot." I say, ready for her.

Judging by her posture and body language, this is where the personal questions kick in. And I've had years of experience to deal with shit like that. So, if she thinks she's going to get anything out of me, she's sadly mistaken.

"There are a few rumors spreading that you may be romantically linked to someone who attends Higher Heights...one of the other students. But, as far as anyone knows, you're still dating Jessica Biel. So, my question to you Justin is, are the rumors true?"

I hesitate, glaring at the reporter with narrowed eyes. I wasn't aware that there were public rumors spreading about me and...well...she didn't exactly call a name here.

Plus, if that were true, Johnny would have called so I'd say she's bluffing.

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear." I nod for the reporter and she smirks.

"Really? Because I got this from a very reliable source Justin, who also happens to attend Higher Heights."

"I bet you did." I roll my eyes for her, ready for this interview to be over, but she's not letting up.

"Then how do you explain your relationship with a miss..." She pauses, looking down at her notebook and I follow her stare, my heartbeat instantly speeding up when I read the name she's going to say. "Delilah Marshall? How do you explain your relationship with her Justin? Because as far as your fans and the public knows, Jessica is still your only girlfriend right? Or at least, she used to be..."

Swallowing hard, I groan and shift in my seat before tugging on the blazer of my school uniform. Great. Just fucking great. Like I haven't had to deal with this my entire life.

Here we go again...

*****

Later That Night

After The Big Game

Delilah's P.O.V

Well, he did it.

Justin persuaded me to attend their big basketball game which they won and then forced me to attend the dance afterwards.

This is what I get for letting down my guard with him.

But, I will admit the game was amazing. Justin and the rest of the team played their hearts out on that court tonight. Even Ethan and Ryan were looking good out there.

For anyone on the outside looking in, they would be clueless to the fact that Justin and Ethan are mortal enemies because they placed all of that behind them when they were playing. They passed the ball to each other and showed great teamwork.

It was kind of surreal to witness but I am proud of the team. They deserved their win.

After the cheering and excitement was over, some of the students retreated to their dorms to get ready for the dance while others were already dressed and ready to go.

So far, the night has been going well.

I'm wearing yet another dress at Michelle and Sandra's request, but this time, I don't mind.

In fact, this time I was down for looking my best.

I haven't spoken to Justin all day ever since I checked up on him in the gym earlier today.

Word is, he had his interview in the school cafeteria to which some students claimed that he walked out on the person interviewing him in a huff.

I've been meaning to ask him what happened but haven't gotten the chance to yet.

We've both been preoccupied today but I'm hoping that we'll get some alone time tonight.

This past week has been busy but it's also been fun with Rachel and Trace. In fact, I think I might reconsider visiting them in California. I've always wanted to go there too. I'm sure it would be fun like Justin stated. I guess I've just been too stubborn to admit it.

As I sit casually on one of the bleachers in the school gym, since that's where the dance is taking place, I notice my two best girls Sandra and Michelle making their way over to me with Cindy in tow.

Hmm, I hope Cindy isn't mad at me for rejecting her request of helping to plan this dance. I'm sure she didn't think I'd do it a second time around. She was maybe just testing her luck. Everything looks like it turned out great though. It has a spring mixed with summer theme to it.

"Hey girl!" Sandra smiles, taking a seat next to me.

"Hey Sand, how's everything going?" I question, accepting the cup of punch she hands me.

"It's good. We're having fun. You know, exams are over and school officially lets out next week after results come out." She smiles, nudging me playfully and I smile in return.

"I can't wait." I sigh, taking a sip of my drink.

"We missed you this week. We're all going home for our summer break. It's going to be so different being away from here." Michelle speaks up and I shrug, taking another sip of my drink as I eye them silently.

"So, did you have fun with Justin? He told us Rachel and Trace were there when we were in the gym practicing our cheers while the team was training a few days ago." Sandra explains and I nod offhandedly.

"It was an interesting week." I utter. That's all I'm willing to say right now.

"Well, I for one am glad that Justin was able to make a friend here. I'm sure it's hard for him to trust people and open up to them. I mean, I've seen people try to get closer to him since he's been here and he wouldn't let them in past acquaintance level. But, he seems comfortable with you Delilah so that's good. We want him to give positives reviews of our school after all." Cindy vocalizes and I glare at her, a light scowl forming on my face.

"Justin has other friends beside me." I tell her, not sure what she's trying to get at.

"Of course he does. But how many of them has he invited over into his personal life to spend time with him? Sweetie, I'm just saying that I'm happy for the both of you. I told it to you the first time I asked you to show him around campus a few months ago and I'll say it again; you two are good for each other. And don't worry about the rumors either. Personally, I would just ignore them since no one dictates your life but you." Cindy gives me a reassuring smile but I find it hard to even crack a smile for her.

Why do I feel like she paired us up on purpose all those months ago?

"Cindy, can I ask you something?" I state softly.

"Sure hun."

"Why did you pick me out of all the students attending Higher Heights to be stuck with Justin when he first arrived? And don't give me that I was the only volunteer left crap. Anyone could have done what I did for him. It wouldn't have taken much out of their free time."

"Well, Delilah..." Cindy pauses, shifting on her feet but I continue to eye her, taking in the green knee-length dress and heels she's wearing. She's a very beautiful girl. In fact, a lot of the girls who go here are beautiful; which again has me wondering why Justin even stuck around this long. "I knew that I could count on you being yourself with Justin. I knew he didn't have to worry about you using him or trying to get something from him. What he saw was what he was going to get and I really think he needed that with his status since he was somewhere new. He needed someone to trust, someone to rely on and believe it or not, you've always displayed those traits. Plus, you kept him from being distracted." She explains and I frown deeply.

"Wow, in other words, you knew I wouldn't have been a distraction because he wouldn't have taken any interest in me. Since, I'm not beautiful like some of the girls who go here..."

"No Delilah! You have it all wrong!" Cindy quickly interrupts me.

"You're beautiful Lilah!" Sandra states firmly and I glare at her.

"You are sweetie." Michelle confirms only causing me to roll my eyes.

"Spare me...really." I stand, shoving my cup in Sandra's hand as I get ready to leave, but Cindy stops me again.

"Delilah, it had nothing to do with looks. I knew you would have kept Justin from being distracted because of who you are. You didn't take nonsense from anyone including him. Him being a celebrity didn't faze you and that was critical. You kept him grounded and you've always been about getting your school work done. Justin needed that and when his mom required that we paired him up with someone who had such high values and standards, you were perfect."

Wow, well, I guess being a stubborn hard ass has its perks huh? And this is the first mention I've heard of Justin's mom. Obviously, she has a big part to play in his life somehow so I'm going to have to ask him about her sometime.

"Fine Cindy. It's fine. I guess I understand or whatever." I mumble and she nods with an apologetic look on her face. "Will you guys excuse me for a while? I'm going to grab something to eat." I speak up, waving them off.

I don't wait for them to respond as I make my way through the crowd towards the buffet.

When I get there I grab a plate and start piling up small eats like sandwiches and whatever else I can get my hands on.

"You look hungry. Nice black dress by the way...considering you don't wear dresses...hardly. It suits you."

I turn to the side, a soft smirk escaping me before I continue what I'm doing.

"What do you want Ryan?"

He clears his throat uncomfortably, following me down the buffet table.

"Did you talk to uncle..."

"I spoke to dad and I told him what you said about Ethan. He's aware and alert for any trouble Mr. Landing may cause." I assure my cousin.

"Good." Ryan sighs with relief. "Ethan may be my boy but he's going too far. I've told him to leave you alone." Ryan states and I curve a brow at him.

"Oh? And?"

"He, he ignored me, but I'll try my best to keep him away from you." Ryan admits.

"Wow, you do that Ryan." I say sarcastically. "Where is Ethan anyway?" I ask, noticing Ryan's reluctance to respond.

"He's not here. He's not coming to the dance." He voices softly and I nod, grateful for that even if Ryan's behaving suspicious right now. "Shit, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad Justin's there for you." He adds in.

"You mean, like you should be? My own flesh and blood?" I snap at Ryan and he cringes at my harsh tone.

"Delilah..."

"Save it cousin. Because guess what? I'm glad Justin's there for me too, which means I don't need you to be anymore."

"Look I'm sorry Delilah, for everything we've been through." Ryan admits solemnly, but I simply brush him off before grabbing one of the strawberries in the fruit bowl and popping it into my mouth.

"I'll see you next week when we head home. Bye Ryan."

I turn away from him with my plate, about to leave, only to bump into someone's hard chest. "What the..."

I look up, catching a pair of deep blue eyes that gaze down at me before they drift over to Ryan and their stare hardens.

"Is he bothering you?" Justin whispers with a protective hold on my shoulders to balance me.

"Nope. I was just leaving." I voice and Justin nods before releasing his hold on me and leading me away from the buffet table, after giving Ryan his signature death glare.

As we maneuver through the crowd towards the bleachers, I steal a few small glances at Justin, loving the double layered long-sleeved blue and white shirt he's wearing with his jeans and sneakers.

"Well, you popped out of nowhere." I snicker and he looks at me, giving me a huge grin.

"Yeah." He sighs. "Sorry. I would have been here sooner but I had to head back home to change and then order Trace and Rachel to pack their shit so I could drop them to the airport first thing in the morning."

"Oh, I'm going to miss them." I pout and Justin chuckles just as we make it to Sandra and Michelle sans Cindy, thank goodness.

"Well, you could see them again if you came out to visit but it's all good." Justin voices with a hint of discontentment in his tone.

"Justin..." I whine and he groans in response.

"Fine, fine! I give up. Let me take that for you." He demands, pulling the plate of treats I prepared for myself out of my grasp.

"Hey!" I protest but he ignores me, handing the plate to Sandra before telling her and Michelle ‘hi'.

"I'm stealing Lilah here for a while, you guys don't mind do you?" Justin questions, but before they can respond he's dragging me away from them and towards the locker rooms.

I twist my body around and wave goodbye to my friends. When I turn back around, confusion engulfs me as Justin pushes his way through the crowd until we make it into the locker rooms.

He leads us quietly down the halls until we get to the team's showers and changing room.

I look around silently at the brightly illuminated room, taking a seat on one of the benches as he rummages through his locker.

"What on earth are you doing Justin?" I finally speak up with a giggle.

"You'll see..."

"Why are we in here? I'm pretty sure this place is off limits outside of practice."

"Well, I figured we hardly got to hang out today and I wanted us to have some alone time. Plus, I wanted to tell you about my interview."

"Ok, this definitely beats the dance. So how was it? Did you give your fans something to obsess over?" I joke and he grunts before turning to face me with a box in his hand.

"It was horrible. I hate that the media thinks it's their right to check up on me since I've been M.I.A for a while. They asked me about you too, but I told them we were only friends. I'm not sure who lied and told them we were hooking up but I wouldn't be surprised if Ethan had something to do with it." Justin shrugs and I mouth an ‘oh' a little miffed by his statement.

"Well as long as I won't be stalked or anything..."

"You're good." He smiles.

He moves over to me and pulls me up to stand.

I rest my back against one of the lockers as he closes the tiny gap between us until he's practically breathing down my neck.

My heartbeat increases as I continue to look at him befuddled.

"Uh, Justin, you're kind of acting strange." I point out but he ignores me.

"So I've been thinking..." he starts off in a low voice. "And, since you enjoy being hardheaded about coming out to visit me in Cali, I've decided to..." But I cut him off.

If I'm right, he's going to say something along the lines of he'll come to me instead which would be a huge mistake.

"I changed my mind actually."

"You what?" He questions, looking down at me confused.

"You were going to say since I wasn't coming to visit you, you'd come to visit me instead on our summer break right? Well, I changed my mind. I'll come out to visit you guys."

He stares at me blankly, blinking dramatically before his lips curve into a grin.

"Delilah Marshall." Justin voices in a teasing tone. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to prevent me from meeting your family or something." He muses.

Oh he has no idea how right he is.

"No...no..." I lie and he laughs softly.

"It's ok, that's not what I was going to say."

"No? Then what were you..."

"I was going to say that since you weren't coming out to visit, I was going to give you your gift early since your birthday is in August and we're coming back to school in September."

Justin flashes the medium sized box he's holding in his hand for me to see.

When I stretch for it, he quickly roots it away from me.

"Ah ah, now that I know you're coming, you're not getting it." Justin wags his finger in my face and I smack his hand away.

"Aw, come on Justin!"  I whine. "What is it?" I ask curiously but he shakes his head in protest.

"Nuh uh...you'll see when you come out to Cali. Now you have a reason to come; if you want your gift that is." He grins deviously and I groan. I walked right into that trap didn't I?

"Ugh, whatever..." I huff, still eying the gift in his hand at his side.

"You're dying to know what I got you aren't you?" Justin grins triumphantly.

"No." I pout.

"Aw, yes you are. You're so cute." Justin coos, lifting his free hand to graze over my cheek and then my bottom lip.

I watch closely as he swallows hard, his Adam's apple bouncing before my eyes drift to his mouth just in time to see him lick his lips. "I don't know...sometimes Lilah I really think that..." But he drifts, the rest of his words dissipating into a light murmur.

"Sometimes you think what?" I ask almost desperately.

Come on Justin, you can do it. Whatever you're going to say...just spit it out. I'm pretty sure we both need to hear it.

"I mean really, this is going to sound a tad crazy but I really do think..." And he trails again.

It seems like he's not sure how to phrase his thoughts. Ugh! I wish I could read his mind. He's so close...so, so close.

You need to say it Justin. Just say it!

"What Justin?" I ask aggravated and he sighs, shaking his head slowly.

"I don't know if I should tell you what's on my mind. It might be way too soon to even...I mean, I don't want you to run away." He decides and I growl. These half sentences are starting to piss me off.

His eyes widen slightly but he remains mute for the most part.

"You should know me better than that Justin. Speak you mind." I plead but he shakes his head ‘no.'

"Why don't I show you instead?" He suggests.

In that same breath, he leans down before I have a chance to object and plants his lips gently against mine.

I breathe in deeply through my nostrils before my hands are up and in his hair, pulling him closer.

Wow, who is this girl and what the hell is she doing? Why do I feel like I need to feel, taste and touch more of him?

Justin responds like clockwork, his free hand dropping to squeeze my side before he places it against the locker behind me to steady himself.

His frame presses firmly against mine allowing me to feel his hard ripples all the way down to the arousal quickly growing in his jeans.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest like it's trying to rip through my ribcage as Justin deepens the kiss but still allows me to keep control.

Oh my god...oh my god I want him. I want him so bad it's agonizing. And he wants me too. He has to. That has to be part of what he's trying to tell me.

I almost moan out loud when he suddenly ends the kiss and pulls away from me far enough so he can whisper.

"So? Did you figure it out? What I was trying to say?" Justin questions breathlessly.

All I can do in gaze into his vivacious blues as all my thought processes terminate.

"I..."

But my words are cut short when I hear voices and footsteps quickly approaching us.

It only takes a few seconds before we're greeted by a small group of people as Justin and I remain glued together.

"I think I saw them heading this way which really is against the rules. I was going to give them a few more minutes to come back out before I went looking for them..."

Justin releases a low, angry growl at the sound of Manny's voice, but getting in trouble with the Headmaster is the least of my worries right now.

Why?

Because Manny and his two other guests just walked into our line of sight and I think it's safe to say that I'm the spitting image of someone who's traumatized.

My body seizes up at the sight of Manny, Coach and...and...my...

"Bro?" I swallow harshly, my instincts kicking in immediately.

Justin's head snaps in my direction and his horror matches my own before I shove him away to create some space between us.

My breaths are shallow and sharp and while I was enjoying that Justin was the cause of this a few moments ago, my lack of air is now directed towards the look of murder that flashes over my brother's face.

I know my brother. First impressions are everything to him.

And, considering the compromising position he walked in on between Justin and me, to my bro, Justin is now the enemy.

20. There's No Place Like Home

Three Weeks Later

Ending of June

LA, California

"Justin? Justin! Justin snap out of it!"

Jumping, I hit my arm on the car door, a soft groan escaping me when I notice Trace snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"What man what?" I ask aggravated and he groans with a roll of his eyes.

"Buckle your fucking seatbelt dude. I've been hearing that seatbelt alert dinging in my damn ears since we left LAX five minutes ago." Trace demands.

I shoot him a deep frown before doing as I'm told quietly.

"Seriously, how can you not be annoyed by that noise? Not to mention we'd get a fucking ticket if we got pulled over. Where's your head at dude?"  Trace inquires while keeping his focus on the road in front of us.

"Just drive Trace. I'm not in the mood, I'm jetlagged." I say flatly and he grunts but doesn't say anything else as silence engulfs us.

Well, it doesn't take much to figure out that I'm back home in California on my summer break. Trace just picked me up from the airport and since California is three hours behind New York, it's actually about ten pm here in Cali while it's one am in NY. In a way, it feels like I never left, then again, things aren't the same.

I should have been home over a week ago, but, because of certain events that took place in reference to Delilah, I postponed my trip for a week. Yes, at the time, she was more important than me running away from that prison of a boarding school we were attending.

I can't stop thinking about her though.

For my entire flight out here, she's been on my mind and I can't shake my thoughts of her.

I really fucking miss her already and I saw her up until I boarded my private jet and she left with her brother to head home to Boston after we told each other bye.

I can't stop thinking about how close I came to spilling my guts and telling her that I was actually, genuinely falling for her. I'm happy that I didn't now because the timing would have been terrible.

It was the night after the big game at the end of semester dance when Delilah and I were in the locker rooms sharing an important moment and her brother, Manny and Coach walked in on us...

--------------------------

Flashback

Three weeks ago...

Higher Heights Boarding School

NY

"Am I, interrupting something?" Lilah's brother inquires.

I gaze at Delilah and then the male version of her who almost looks like he wants to laugh. Ok, what the fuck is going on?

Panic and terror flashes over Delilah's face before she takes a few steps away from me.

"What are you...what are you doing here Demarco?" Delilah asks timidly and I nearly guffaw but I catch myself.

Delilah and Demarco? Are you fucking shitting me? What on earth were their parents thinking? I try to stifle back my chuckles since we're obviously in some serious trouble here but I can't let go of the humor tied to their name pairing.

"Demarco?" I question and Lilah looks at me perturbed.

"Uh, yes...this is my brother Justin, Demarco Leon Marshall. People know him as Leon but I call him Demarco, Marco for short." She explains and I nod, remembering that she indeed told me his name a while back when she was giving me her family history. Her dad is Howard and her mom is Linda if I remember correctly.

"Ah...I see." I state, my smile never leaving my face, that is, until coach clears his throat loudly.

"I'm sorry I..." Delilah bows her head in shame. "Marco, this is um..."

"Justin, yes, I know." He speaks up, finishing her sentence and I glare at him interestingly.

I can't seem to understand why Delilah seems afraid of him. He doesn't look angry or like he wants to kill us. Then again, she knows him better than anyone here. Maybe he's being subtle and she's the only one who can read the meaning behind his expressions. I know if I walked in on my sister and some guy the way ‘Marco' walked in on us, I'd act first and ask questions later. But, I don't have a sister so...

"Look, are we in trouble? Because this isn't what it looks like." Lilah cringes at the clichéd line but doesn't bother correcting herself. "I just came in here with Justin to get something. We were coming right back out."

"Something huh?" Coach finally speaks up, with his arms folded as he glares at us.

"Yup!" I speak up, showing them the box containing Lilah's gift still in my hand. "I forgot to take the gift from my locker I got for..." I hesitate, "My mom, to bring for her when I head back home on our summer break." I lie and Delilah releases a sigh of relief. "Lilah just came along with me to get it since we were already hanging out at the dance."

"So, the two of you didn't sneak off to make-out?" Coach supplies and I wince at him.

Damn, no one should have to hear someone like their coach say things like that. It's kind of disturbing "No coach." I utter, scrunching up my nose.

"Uh huh." He mutters, curving a brow. "Well, the locker rooms are off limits when there's no practice going on. Remember that from now on." Coach explains and I nod in response. "Well, Leon, you found your sister so I'll be leaving now. If anyone needs me, do me a favor...don't." Coach adds in before excusing himself to leave.

He calls out to Manny to follow him and Manny hesitates, shooting me a glare before he relents and exits as well, leaving Delilah and I alone with her brother.

"Well, that was awkward." Demarco jests whiles resting against one of the walls.

Still is dude...you're still here.

"So..." I begin but Lilah cuts me off.

"What's going on Marco? You haven't answered me. What on earth are you doing here? You should be home in Boston on your break." Delilah points out and he shakes his head in agreement.

"I should be sis, but I'm not. I'm here instead." He shrugs and, uh, ok no shit. When he sees the confused look on my face and the frustrated look on Delilah's, he decides to elaborate. "Dad called me. He told me that you contacted him a few days ago about something Ryan said in relation to Ethan. You know, this feud between dad and Mr. Landing is getting ridiculous, but you know how headstrong dad is." Demarco explains. Hmm, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all. "Nevertheless, dad asked that I swung by to check up on you and make sure that you were ok and Ethan wasn't harassing you. He wants me to stay with you until school lets out next week so we can come home together."

"But..." Delilah begins to protest.

"No buts sis. You know how I feel about this entire mess. You know if I even see Ethan while I'm here, I'll maybe be tempted to send him to the hospital. A police record won't look good with Yale, but fuck it. And Ryan is still not my favorite person. I know I'm not around much because of school, and I know we don't stay in touch nearly as often as we should, but when you need me I'm always here." Demarco explains.

Wow, I think I might actually like this guy. Hey, anyone who thinks Ethan deserves physical pain is alright by me.

"Gosh, I hate this. We're so dysfunctional." Delilah sighs helplessly.

"No, we just have a huge bug that we need to squash once and for all, namely Ethan. Without him in the picture, our family will be fine. It's just, we need to find a way to do it where it won't affect the family business because of Ethan's jackass father." Demarco shakes his head in disdain, his eyes drifting in my direction for a split second before they are back on his sister.

I find it uncanny that he and Lilah share the same strange eye color where their eyes are of a grayish-brown. I guess it comes with being mixed.

Clearly, this is a family issue. I'm not exactly looking to be in the middle of it, but I am. Still, I don't think it's wise to speak right now unless spoken to.

"And as much as I'm not ok with you getting involved with another guy who goes to this school, your boyfriend here doesn't exactly fit into that category does he? He's only here temporarily." Demarco states with a light chuckle, referring to me.

"Justin's not my boyfriend, quit teasing. We're only friends." Lilah defends and I gaze at her, biting the corner of my bottom lip.

That hurt...just a little...but it still hurt. And I don't get why since she told the truth.

"Of course not, he's a superstar...aren't you Justin? You'll be back to your old life in no time. By the way, I've seen the media segments on the whole, ‘Justin Timberlake - superstar goes back to school,' bit. It was pretty entertaining to watch." Demarco smirks and I narrow my eyes at him when he turns to face me. "Look, man, I should probably hate you because that's my job as Lili's older brother and all, and her getting mixed up with a celebrity might not be what's best for her right now...but, I know that you've been sticking up for her and looking out for her since you've been here so..." He drifts, a deep sigh escaping him. It almost seems like it's physically hurting him to be nice to me. "Thanks for looking out man. I appreciate it." He states, coming over and extending his hand for me to take.

I'm partially stunned, looking between him and Delilah before I give him a quick handshake. Delilah looks just as shocked as I am. "Uh, sure man it's nothing. Lilah and I are friends and I genuinely care about her." I voice honestly.

"That's good...hope it lasts." Demarco decides. "I'd like for us to catch up better and really get acquainted to clear up this little situation, but I've got to get off campus and to my hotel. So, I'll see you all tomorrow morning, or afternoon....whichever." He explains and I nod as he makes his way over to his sister.

"Lili, don't worry ok? At the end of this year, you'll be graduating and it'll all be over. I'm tired of this; we'll make sure Ethan leaves you alone for good this time like he's done for the past almost three years." Demarco reassures her, giving her a bear hug which she returns.

"Thanks Marco. Thanks for coming to check up on me even if it was a surprise. You could have called you know?" She voices sternly.

"What, and ruin the look of shock on your face? I think not." He chuckles, pulling away from her. "I'll see you all. It was cool meeting you Justin, ignoring the awkward timing." He chuckles and I smile unsurely. If only he knew, but I think he already knows what he walked in on. "Later." Demarco states before he excuses himself and leaves.

When Delilah and I are alone again, I heave a sigh and take a seat on one of the benches.

"You've got a lot of family drama girl." I tell her earnestly. "I had no idea Ethan weaved himself that deep into your family."

"It's not that Justin. It's the fact that whatever Ethan tells his dad could jeopardize my parents' business. That's what this is about. It's about Ethan getting his dad to abuse his political power to ruin my family's real estate business and reputation as a sign of revenge. My dad and Mr. Landing aren't making things any better for us. This shit switched from Ethan and me in our drama to a full out family feud that I don't want to be a part of. At least, I'm out here away from the direct chaos." She divulges and I actually feel for her.

I can't help but realize that I'm blessed that my mom's side of the family and my dad's side can get along. It would be utter chaos if things were different back home.

Damn, Lilah doesn't deserve this.

"It's always hard to get through to your parents about these things." I admit.

"It is, but Marco and I are trying to." She says, plopping down next to me.

"He doesn't like me does he? I know we just met, but I got this vibe..."

"Marco doesn't like any guy who shows interest in me. It's his thing. But he doesn't have a choice but to like you given the situation. It's a first for him. I have no idea how you do it Justin." She muses and I grin brightly.

"My Timberlake charm works on all genders, thank you very much." I say confidently.

"That didn't sound quite right."

"Uh yeah." I shrug before we erupt in laughter. "But you know what I mean." I add in and she agrees.

"Well, at least Ethan didn't show up at the dance so it's been a good night."

"Maybe he knew your bro was coming." I point out.

"I wouldn't be surprised. It would explain why Ryan was acting suspicious when I spoke to him. I'm sure he knew Marco was coming and decided not to tell me because he never ‘wants to get involved' even when he knows that he is.  His passiveness is very annoying."

Can't say I disagree.

"Well, you know, it's whatever. Don't even worry about it right now. We should focus on enjoying the rest of the night. You owe me a dance." I state and Lilah laughs lightly.

"You never cease to amaze me Justin. But, I'm glad you're here." She says honestly.

"Me too, I'm here now, I'll help how I can. If you'd like, I'll stay an extra week and postpone my flight since your brother seems to be out for blood." I decide, gripping her hand in mine and giving it a light squeeze.

She lifts her head and looks up at me with a soft smile. "Thanks. Because now that Marco's here, no matter what he says, I know we won't head home until he does something about my Ethan situation. I'm going to need help dissuading Marco from going after Ethan while he's here.  Hopefully, we'll be good." She pauses, letting out a laugh of disbelief. "Geez Justin, it's kind of scary how close you and I are becoming. I'm just waiting for something to be wrong with you." She jokes and I mock hurt.

"I'm the only person on this earth who was made perfect girl, don't get it twisted." I joke and a soft groan escapes her.

"Ugh! Please Justin! I swear, I need to carry a pin with me at all times so I can prick you when your ego gets inflated like this." She giggles before standing and I follow her lead.

"Don't hate because you know it's true Lilah." I say cockily only eliciting another loud groan from her which in turn makes me chortle.

"Whatever! Let's get out of here please before Manny comes back looking since he's like your personal stalker now." Delilah jokes as we make our way out of the locker rooms.

"Yeah that's not funny." I tell Lilah as she remains a few paces ahead of me.

"Sure it is!" She snickers. "Sometimes, I really think you dislike him more than anyone else here. Your mood switches drastically every time he's around."

"Hey, I can't help it! The kid's like an annoying buzzing mosquito I can't swat away!" I laugh even if I'm dead serious. "Besides, no one could claim your ‘stalker' title even if they tried Lilah!" I quip as I catch up to her and sling my arm around her shoulder to pull her next to me, her gift still in my other hand.

She titters, shaking her head in agreement. "I'm all up for defending my title then."

I grin while looking down at her as we make our way back out to the dance, the both of us putting the moment we shared in the locker rooms of all places behind us, at least for now.

"That's what I like to hear..." I shout over the loud music, getting carried away with the atmosphere around us...

End of Flashback

-----------------------------------

"I'd appreciate some help with your luggage fucker!" Trace barks at me, snapping me out of my deep thoughts.

When I look around I realize that we're parked at my place in the driveway. The driver's door is wide open which means Trace must be in the trunk removing my things. Wow, I missed the entire ride home. Damn, was I that spaced out?

I sigh, slowly opening my door and exiting the ride before slamming it shut behind me. I look up at my estate and a deep frown passes over my face.

This is what I've wanted since day one. I've been longing to be back home, back to my old life, doing what I do best, and spending time with the important people in my life.

So where's the enthusiasm? Where's the joy that should encompass me from being home? What the fuck is my problem?

"What's your problem Justin? Are you going to help me or not?"

It's like he read my mind.

"Yeah man, sorry about that."

I walk over to Trace and try to ignore the looks he's giving me. Clearly my standoffish behavior is irking the hell out of him.

"Ok, I have no clue what's going on with you, but, I really think you should get whatever it is off your mind and be happy because your mom is in there with Rachel." Trace voices and I groan in annoyance at his scolding. "Look Justin, I know Delilah in some way is the reason for your lousy mood, but you've refused to tell me what's going on so I can't help you and that's fine. I can respect that. You'll tell me when you're ready. But seriously dude, Lynn doesn't need the first sight of her son whom she hasn't seen for half a year to be one of you sulking."

"Yes dad." I mutter with a roll of my eyes before grabbing my biggest suitcase from his grasp.

I drop it on the pavement and pull up the handle to wheel it behind me before walking away from Trace and towards my front steps. I note that the living room lights are on so I take in a deep breath and try to get in a happier mood.

It doesn't help that I actually miss Lilah right now.

After that night of the dance, we went back to our normal selves with each other, joking, laughing and getting on each other's nerves but still loving every moment of it. There wasn't much else we could do since her brother was now in the picture. But, he was cool for the most part.

We hung out a lot and Demarco actually turned out to be a decent guy who's really just concerned about protecting his family. I can't say that I blame him. Delilah and I had a hell of a time swaying him away from Ethan though, especially when they ended up crossing paths in the hall the day exam results came out.

The look on Ethan's face when he strolled down the hall with his boys was priceless. Delilah, Demarco and I were walking right in their direction when Ethan made a beeline for the nearest exit.

I know for a fact, if I wasn't there to hold Marco back from going after Ethan that day, some serious shit would have gone down.

However, that moment is over and we steered clear of Landing for our remaining time at Higher Heights.

I'm home now which means Lilah must be home as well.

She made me promise to call her as soon as I got to my place so that's what I'm going to do before I enter and greet the portion of my family that's waiting for me.

I root out my cell from my pocket and switch it on, waiting for it to power-up before I hit one of the speed dial buttons where I have Lilah's number saved.

As I make it to the foot of the steps next to my garage, I gaze up realizing that my garage door is wide open. I smile when I see my Harley looking back at me and I make a mental note to head out and take a ride one of these days.

As I hit the call button on my phone and place it to my ears, a deep scowl forms over my face.

"T?" I call out, hearing his footsteps behind me.

"Yeah J, what's up?" He makes his way over with the rest of my things to stand next to me.

"Whose car is that?" I ask curiously, not remembering that I own a black Mercedes of the make and model I'm staring at.

"Uh...I don't know. That Henry kid you traded lives with went home to meet his family for summer since you were coming back." Trace voices, glaring at the car distractedly since he's trying to balance my side luggage on his shoulder. "It wasn't there when I left to pick you up..." But he drifts immediately, realization quickly floating over his face. "Oh shit, I think it's Jess's. It's hers. It's new, she bought it recently. Yea..."

My eyes widen and I blink rapidly a few times when Lilah's voicemail fills my eardrum.

I root my phone from my ear and quickly hit my text messages to send Lilah a quick text letting her know that I called and I reached safely, asking her to give me a call when she reads the message. Once I'm done, I stuff my phone back into my jeans pocket and turn to look at my best friend with questioning eyes.

"Well shit Trace. Why the fuck is Jess part of my welcome home committee?" Did I just say that? Wow, all these committees at Height Heights have me talking like them now.

"I don't know Justin." He rolls his eyes. "Like I said, she wasn't here when I left to pick you up. Which reminds me, first thing tomorrow, Mike is coming over to get you so we can head down to Johnny's office."

What the fuck? I just got here. I'm tempted to tell him hell fucking no am I doing shit tomorrow since I just want to chill, but Jess is my main concern right now, so I ignore him.

I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready yet to see her and face her and deal with whatever is going on between us.

"Unbelievable." I growl, gripping my luggage and giving it a harsh tug up the steps and towards my front door.

"Chill out Justin. You know she's Rachel's friend as well and they're really close. You need to accept that you're not going to get rid of her just because she's your ex, or whatever the fuck status you all are now. Remember, Jess is the one you came the closest to marrying in all of your girlfriends, including Brit. Don't forget that dude. Now cheer up, for your mom's sake at least."

"Yea, yea whatever." I mumble, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket. I quickly pull it out as Trace knocks on the front door so someone can answer.

"Guys! Open up we're here!" Trace yells and I flinch away from his loud yells, my attention swaying to the reply text I just received from Delilah which comes in three parts since it's long...

"Hey J! Got your text! Thanks for letting me know you're safe. I was worried and thinking about calling the airline to let them know they couldn't have any plane crashes or hijacks today since one of my best friends was on one of their flights, and it was important that he arrived to his destination safely. Then I would have cursed them out if they told me I was lying about knowing you, but you know me. Ok, I'm kidding, I'm sure your private jet flight was much better than commercial. :-p. I just can't get used to the fact that you're this big superstar living a double-life at Higher Heights...ok, joke again, I'm sorry.. Lol. But you're still preppy Justin to me who's a pain in my ass. ha! But aren't you glad to be home though? I hope you guys have fun. Can we trade? I can't call right now, I'm in the process of going through catching up with the parents which is very drawn out and dramatic. Ugh! Kill me now! haha but, I will call once I get a chance to and we'll discuss this whole 'visiting you' thing I'm  supposed to be doing later down this summer. Tell Trace and Rachel hi. Take care! Miss & Luv ya! :) xoxo Lilah."

A large smile makes its way onto my face as I finish reading her texts, just in time to see the front door fly open. Even in her texts she sounds just like the Delilah I know and miss terribly right now.

My head snaps up immediately and I feel all the tension in my body dissolve as my mood is instantly uplifted at the sight of my mom's warm smiling face.

"Ma!" I coo, grinning like an idiot.

It takes two seconds flat before she grips me and pulls me into a hug.

I laugh softly, wrapping my arms around her soft frame.

"Justin! Welcome home darling! I've missed you!" She gushes and I sigh, burying my face in her curls, inhaling her familiar sent.

"I've missed you more." I counter and she laughs softly.

My thoughts instantly clear and my body slumps forward in a relaxed state.

Shit, there really is nothing like a good ole hug from your mom to make you forget about all the worries and cares you have in this world.

And, because of her, now I can say, I'm genuinely happy to be back home...

21. There's No Place Like Home [Part 2]

Somewhere in Boston

At the Marshall's Residence

End of June

Delilah's P.O.V

This is agony!

No, this is some sick twisted torture!

I can't believe I'm wishing I could trade places with Justin right now.

And you know what? I think my parents know this and they're having a grand ole time with it.

I'm home on my summer break finally, and while I'm glad to be away from Higher Heights for the next few months, I think that I'm more equip to handle Higher Heights drama than be greeted and ogled by my parents.

"So tell us more about this Justin character Lili. I think it's nice that he took up this challenge to attend Higher Heights for his fans."

Oh you have no idea mom!

I gaze at my mother, my eyes slightly wide and begging, pleading for her to stop this madness.

I mean seriously, this Justin character? Really mom?

"What else is there to tell mom? I told you everything from the moment I met him to when Marco showed up on campus to what happened after with the three of us hanging out and Marco nearly getting his hands on Ethan! There's nothing more to tell." I say dramatically.

Marco is having a grand time in the corner of our spacious living room, his silent amusement going unnoticed by our parents, but not by me. He enjoys when I'm in distress mode due to our parents' incessant antics.

"Well, he's a celebrity yes? How comes I've never heard of him?" Mom questions and I roll my eyes. "I think I'd like to meet him sometime. Would that be possible? I mean, according to Marco, he looked out for you and it's only fair that your dad and I meet him and thank him in person." She continues.

Not likely mom, not likely.

If I can help it, Justin will not meet my wacko parents. I'm actually the normal one in the bunch. That says a lot.

My mom, Linda Marshall, is a beautiful African American woman who's smart, sophisticated and looks and acts the part. But, when it comes to the entertainment world of generations after hers, she's clueless.

"Ever heard of N'sync mom?" I question cautiously and she shrugs uncaringly only causing me to groan. "That's where Justin's music career launched him into superstardom..." I explain.

"Oh wait!" She interrupts and I note the light smile on my dad's face. He's enjoying this too. Damn him. "Are they the ones who sang, ‘tell me why, ain't nothing but a heartache, tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake...'cus I want it that way...'"

"Oh my god." I breathe heavily, my face heating up with embarrassment. By now, Marco is full out laughing at this little display. Parents shouldn't sing, especially when it's off key like my mom. "No mom, that's Backstreet Boys. Justin was in N'sync."

"But, I thought Justin was the blonde younger looking one..."

"Mom!" I wail. "No, that's Nick from Backstreet boys. Justin was in N'sync!" I reiterate.

She frowns deeply, not comprehending and I groan loudly.

"You know! ‘You're all I ever wanted, you're all I ever needed yeah, so tell me what to do now, when I want you back!' Or, ‘It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you, but when we are apart I feel it too, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain, with or without you.'" I sing the choruses to two of their songs for her, hoping that will jog her memory. They're the only two songs I know.

Oh wait, Justin did have that ‘Cry me a river' song, but if I told my mom that, it would open up a whole new string of conversation topics I do not want to go through right now.

Justin may not know this, but I did know those two songs of theirs when they just came out years ago in their little group. I remember I heard them on the radio and did confuse them with Backstreet boys at first but then I was able to tell the difference between the two boy bands. I'll never ever admit that to Justin though. He'd never make me live it down.

"Oh! Yes, I remember those songs. You sang them all the time. But you never could tell those boys apart." My mom remembers and I blush massively.

Justin is to never know about this. No one is, outside of my family.

"I wasn't exactly a fan mom. I just thought those two songs were catchy." I state and she nods in agreement, a large smile making its way onto her aging face.

It's true, they were catchy songs. Back in the 90s, boy bands and girl groups were in. But, I didn't have their posters in my room, I didn't go to any of their concerts and I didn't even buy their CDs. In fact, I didn't know any of their names and called them ‘backstreet boys number two' until I learned their group name was N'sync. Gosh, I wonder what Justin would think and say if he knew this. Well, that's too bad because he will never know.

"Well, that's nice hun. Like I said, I'd love to meet this Justin fellow some time. He sounds like a decent, respectful guy." She concludes and I heave a sigh, shaking my head in slight amusement at my mom's enthusiasm.

I know her, and I know the look she's giving me. She won't say it, but I know that she's thinking, maybe hoping Justin would be some type of romantic interest for me. It would definitely give her a sense of relief because to her, I'd be too pre-occupied with Justin to have time to deal with Ethan and his bullshit. And she would be right about that, but Justin and I...a couple? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Lovers? I just...I don't know...I can't see it.

Part of me wonders about him, about what it would be like if we...you know...especially with the kind of kisses he's been planting on me lately; but there's the other part of me who doesn't even want to take the risk and find out. That part seems to be winning when I keep remembering that Justin has a completely different life outside of Higher Heights that I know nothing about. Plus, if I ever got hurt again, I can't guarantee I'll be strong enough to get through it and over it this time around. I'd be destroyed for good this time and I don't fancy living the rest of my life as a shell of the person I once was.

"You should invite Justin up here to visit during you guys summer break." My dad interrupts my thoughts, his thick English accent swaying my attention.

"Doubt it dad. Justin's busy. He's got a lot going on."  I counter and he shrugs dismissively.

"Celebrities only want you to think they are busy 24/7. Most of the time, they're not." My dad quips and I laugh lightly.

That's Howard Marshall for you. He's the only one in the family with the refreshing sense of humor. Part of that is why I love my dad. My humor is very sarcastic and sometimes crude, but it works for me.

"Well, for what it's worth, I think mom and Lili should do a duet of their favorite boy band songs. I'd pay money to see you guys live!"

Marco finally speaks up and leave it to him to add salt to my already large wound of embarrassment.

"Oh Marco, behave." Mom giggles and I can't help but laugh as well this time.

Well, this is my life; this is my family...the few people I'd lay my life down for.

And you know what? Even if this is painful to endure, theoretically, it still feels good to be home.

*****

LA, California

At Justin's Place

Justin's P.O.V

"So..." I hum mindlessly, my feet tapping lightly on my living room floor.

This is awkward.

"So..." Rachel echoes, looking between Trace, mom, Jess and me.

"I uh..." but I'm interrupted.

"How was your trip really Justin? We want to hear more about it." My mom voices and I nod, swallowing harshly.

"Right...my...trip." I mutter, my blues traveling over the few faces in the room. "Well, what's there to tell really? I mean, I think between all of you guys, you know how my experience at that boarding school went." I say certainly with a nod. "And it's not over yet. I have one more semester to go."

"Well yes, but you made it seem so dull sweetie. I'm sure it wasn't half as mundane as you made it out to be. There had to have been people at that school who knew you and what you did for a living. I hope no one gave you too much trouble." Mom voices and I cringe slightly.

Oh, you have no idea mom.

"Well it was..." But I'm cut short by Jessica.

"If you uh, don't mind Mrs. Harless, I'd really like to have a quick word with Justin in private. I know he just came back but..."

"That's fine sweetie. And please Jess, just because you and Justin aren't together officially anymore doesn't mean you can't still call me mom."

Oh god. Shutting my eyes tightly, I take in a deep breath before standing.

I knew this distraction wouldn't last for long.

The moment I stepped foot into my home, my mom pulled me into the living room and ordered everyone to sit so I could tell them about my school experience at Higher Heights. That was a few hours ago.

It was going great until Jess's little request just now. In fact, I think I managed to ignore her mostly for the entire span of my story. Now, now there's no avoiding her is there? I really have to do this...

"Sorry..." I begin, stretching out my limbs. "I'll be...we'll be back." I say hesitantly, shooting Trace a look before I leave the room with Jessica.

I listen to her light footsteps hot on my trail as I waltz into the kitchen and then exit out the sliding doors towards the backyard where the pool and Jacuzzi are situated.

I look around noting the quiet atmosphere and I'm immediately reminded of my two dogs Buck and Bren.

I know they're safe though. They must still be at Trace's or Rachel's. I'll see them soon. I missed them and I'm sure they missed me, but they are the least of my worries right now.

I have an ex who I'm sure is going to demand some type of explanation as to why we weren't really in touch for the past half a year and counting.

Inhaling deeply, I swipe my palms down my t-shirt before whipping around to face Jess.

As expected, her arms are crossed and her eyes narrowed as she glares at me.

She's cute though in her short faded jeans skirt and red camisole top.

"Well?" She snaps and I curve a brow at her.

"Well what?" I act dumb.

"Aren't you going to say anything to me?" She hisses and I shrug.

"I just did." I say smartly. "But uh...you look nice." I smile bashfully and her eyes widen in disbelief.

"That's it Justin? I've barely heard from you all year and all you have to say is I look nice?"

I pause to think for a second or two and then nod in affirmation. "Pretty much, yeah." I hold my smile which totally pisses her off.

She huffs loudly and rolls her eyes in the process but that does nothing to deter me.

"Unbelievable. You're unbelievable Justin!" Jess grunts and again, I shrug my shoulders helplessly.

What is she expecting from me? What does she want me to say here? Women are so fucking confusing sometimes.

"What do you want from me Jess?" I ask half-heartedly and she gasps in light shock.

"What do I want from you? Are you serious? Oh I don't know Justin. How about an ‘I'm sorry Jess I never cared enough to check up with you and let you know I was doing ok while finding out if you were ok as well.' Or how about a ‘you were right Jess, going to that boarding school did change me.' Or maybe a ‘damn Jess, I had no idea what you meant when you said I'd be too preoccupied with the boarding school girls to care about the fact that I have or had a girlfriend.'" She rants.

Slowly, my smile falls and it's replaced by a deep frown as I process what she just said.

I dart out my tongue and lick my lips, my eyes drifting towards the pool before they're back on her. "That's bullshit and you know it." I snap and she glares at me.

"Really Justin? That's bullshit? How so?" She inquires curtly.

Ok, I'll fuel her nasty attitude for the heck of it. I can't really blame her for it. I sort of did ignore her but before I left, I was the one begging and groveling for her to reconsider this ‘time-out' or ‘break' in our relationship. She really can't blame me here for respecting her wishes. She sure as hell couldn't have it both ways.

"First of all, you knew I was fine through Rachel and Trace. So don't act like we were completely disconnected. I knew how you were doing through them as well. Secondly, I did not allow some fucking school to change who I am. If I changed, it was a personal choice, but I'll leave you to decide whether I'm the same Justin or not. And thirdly, too preoccupied with boarding school girls? Jess, you know me better than that. If I had any inclination that our relationship wasn't already fucking dead, distance would not have been the problem considering our careers. Don't try to throw me the guilt card sweetie. I happen to know you were having a grand time down here. Like the time when you called me from the club fucking drunk off your ass. Or the fact that you didn't do much to stay in touch with me either. Sure, you called a few times, I'll give you that. And I almost never did. But come on Jessica, face it. You weren't pining over me or our so called relationship." I explain.

"You're full of shit, you know that Justin?" She bites back, clicking her teeth together and I hum in response, wanting this conversation or more argument to end.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" I ask.

"I heard every single word, but it's all coming out of your ass because you and I both know the reason why you didn't bother with me is because you were too caught up with whatever new girl toy you were after at that school." She hisses and I freeze mid-breath, my heartbeat increasing immediately.

Don't say it Jess, don't...

"Who is she?" She barks. "I know there's someone else. Trace won't tell me and Rachel has been acting strange saying she preferred you and I talked about our issues, but I know...I know there's another woman involved."

"Jess..." I sigh, wiping at my face to quell my anger. "There's no one that..."

"Don't lie to me Justin!" She cuts me off. "I know you! Have you forgotten that? I know when you're lying."

"Well fuck Jess. Do you ever know when I'm telling the truth? Because you question everything!" I yell angrily, stunning her into momentary silence.

"Fuck that Justin; who is she? Is she the same one who answered the phone when I called you some time back? Because I asked her who she was and she simply said to ask you to which I told her not to flatter herself if she thought she had any type of ranks. Like I cared." Jess utters.

Oh you cared Jess, you still do else we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.

So that's what Jess told Lilah that day when Lilah seemed upset and ended up breaking my antic plates? This is ridiculous.

"Jess, you're overreacting." I state but she shakes her head in protest.

"We were supposed to be on a break Justin. A break. That didn't mean we were broken up. That didn't mean it was ok for you to pursue someone else and end up falling in love with them or something." She whines but I only catch the last part of her statement.

"What did you say?" I ask in shock, my entire mood switching almost instantly.

"I said..."

"Hold that thought." I cut her off and begin to turn away from her but she stops me.

"Oh great, so you're going to walk away from me now because you can't face the truth?" She sneers.

"No, Jess. Look I'm sorry ok? I really, truly am. You were right, you win. I was wrong. I was an inconsiderate jerk. But I do genuinely care about you; I do still have love for you. I just...I need to sort some things out. Can you excuse me for a quick minute? I promise after, we'll have the rest of the night to talk this shit out if that's what you want." I ask her hopefully and she pauses for a minute to think before she relents.

"Fine. Fine whatever." She says tightly with a wave of her hand and I give her a quick smile before rooting out my phone from my jeans pocket.

"Thanks." I mutter, quickly turning and heading in the opposite direction.

I round the corner of my house and make my way over to the lake that overlooks the small span of trees on my estate.

I hit one of the speed dial buttons on my phone and wait patiently for someone to pick up as I walk along the small path, the bright moonlight my only source of illumination...

"Justin? Help! I need saving!" Comes and all too familiar voice on the other end of the line.

I chuckle softly, my grip on my phone tightening as I press it against my ear.

"I'm not superman; you'll need my friend Joey for that one." I joke and I'm met with a small giggle.

"Yeah, you're more of a green lantern superhero type."

"Ouch, that stung Lilah." I smile, even if she can't see me.

"Thought it would since I'm not next to you with a pin to prick you." She jokes.

"You're really serious about this deflating of my ego thing huh?" I ask skeptically.

"Yes and no. But, seriously though, thank you for giving me a reason to leave the room and be away from my crazy family. You would not believe the kind of stuff we've been talking and arguing about."

"Oh? Now I have to know." I say curiously, stopping to take a seat on of the benches I had added out here.

"Sorry, you never will." She says confidently.

"Uh huh, we'll see." I muse and she laughs loudly on the phone.

I've missed that laugh. Shit what am I thinking? It's only been like a day...or less.

"So, what's up Justin? I said I would call you back when I could. You beat me to it. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on Lilah. Can't I just want to talk to you?" I question.

"No. Because things are never that simple with you. Aren't you happy to be back home? Why are you wasting your time with me on the phone?"

"Come on Lilah, it's not a waste of time talking to you." I scold her. "And I've seen my family for the night. They're not going anywhere. You on the other hand..." But I drift, biting the corner of my lip when she breathes in deeply over the line.

"Did you have a fight with them?" She enquires and damn she's smart. "Because if you had a fight with your family that's not good."

"No." I state. "We didn't have a fight."

"Ok." She decides.

"That's it? You're not going to tell me I'm lying?" I ask in astonishment.

"What for? I always trust that you tell me the truth Justin. Even if I may give you shit sometimes, part of why we work well together is because I actually trust you, believe it or not. So, if you tell me you didn't have a fight with one of your family members, I believe you. It's your choice if you wish to lie to me or not. I'm not going to hold it against you." Lilah voices and wow.

Where the fuck has she been all my life? This is getting to be too much even for me. This can't continue. Never have I had someone accept me for me no questions asked who wasn't part of my family. And Trace doesn't count because he's basically my brother.  All the women I've been with, they've tried to change me in some way, shape or form. But Delilah, she's...she's different. She's...

"You're amazing you know that?" I say honestly.

"Oh stop." She jokes and my mouth curves into a large grin.

"I didn't lie just so you know. I didn't have a fight with any of my family members but I did sort of get into an argument with..." And I trail.

"With who Justin. Spit it out."

Should I tell Lilah? I'm not sure how she'll take it. I might as well just stick with this honesty streak.

"With my uh...ex girlfriend. Or, she's supposed to be my ex. I'm not really sure. That's what we were arguing about." I explain.

"Oh..." Lilah says softly, almost inaudibly. "Well, you do what you gotta do. Why are you talking to me for? You have your life to get in order on your end. You're back home Justin. You should be thrilled and getting your tasks in order..."

"But that's the thing Lilah!" I cut her off. "I don't want to! I thought I did, but I don't. I can solve my shit easily, but that's not the issue here."

"I'm not following. Then what is?" She asks reluctantly.

I can understand that she's skeptic about whatever it is I'm going to say but guess what? It needs to be said, only, not so much over the phone as opposed to in person. Plus, Jess has no fucking idea what she said to me...

"Would you believe me if I said you were the main issue on why my world is being flipped upside down?"

I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for some type of explosion from Lilah but nothing comes. In fact, there's dead silence on the other end of the line.

My blues slowly flutter open and I take in the slick reflection of the moonlight on the lake, the peaceful surroundings doing nothing to clam my heart or nerves.

"How did I end up being your biggest issue Justin?" Lilah whispers and I sigh.

"It's not that it's just...it's not in a bad way per say but...look I really can't do this on the phone with you Lilah. I can't really explain it. I'd rather it be in person."

"You don't have a choice. We're miles away from each other. This isn't Higher Heights Justin. We're back home, in the real world. If you have something to say to me, then say it now because I have to get off the phone soon. It's late." She states calmly and I nod, forgetting that she can't see me.

I think for minute, racking my brain for a solution, any type of solution that would make getting my feelings across easier for the both of us. Then it dawns on me, my smile slowly creeping back unto my face as I begin working out a schedule in my head.

"Ok, ok Lilah. Then how about this...how about, I get my shit in order here for the first week or so and then I come out to see you in Boston before you make your way down to Cali later this summer?"

Over Two Weeks Later

At the Airport in Boston

July...

22. Confession Time [Part 1]

"This is such a bad idea." I mutter, standing awkwardly in the waiting section of the airport for flight arrivals.

"Cheer up Lili. Obviously the guy cares else he wouldn't have taken out of his time to come see you like this."

I turn towards my brother, my eyes narrowing in contempt as I glare at him.

"Can't you agree with me for once Marco?" I snap and he shrugs uncaringly.

"You don't leave me much of a choice Delilah. And, I think you need to cut Justin some slack. I mean, the guy's a freaking celebrity. He doesn't have to do any of the things he's doing for you."

"Don't remind me." I growl, ignoring my brother's admonishment.

"What's wrong with you Lili? You know, you never use to be like this. You were always bubbly, always positive..." But I stop him before he can continue.

"People change." I snap while folding my arms across my chest and gazing at the many different people walking up and down the airport terminal.

"No shit sis. You didn't change by choice though. You let people like Ethan Landing change you. Sometimes, I wish you were stronger than this...it sure as hell would lessen my worrying." Marco sighs, looking away from me as he stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets.

I cast my vision in his direction again, my gaze softening when I see him grimace.

I pout lightly, knowing that he's right, but not wanting to listen to his reasoning.

Justin coming to visit me at home shouldn't be a bad thing yet I can't shake the feeling that there is some urgency on Justin's end as to why he's doing this. I should still be exited that he flew across the country just to see me but I'm not. If anything, I'm worried and a little nervous, maybe a little anxious.

I'm not sure what to expect. I don't know what's going on with him or if he'll still be the same Justin I left over two weeks ago. I mean, he's coming from his home to mine. Who is to say that in those few weeks he wasn't sucked back into the lifestyle he was used to before he came to Higher Heights?

I can't be certain. But, I should probably apologize to Marco. I shouldn't be passing out my frustrations on my brother like this. He's always been there for me and he doesn't deserve my bitchiness.

"Marco I..." but I'm interrupted, the rest of my words dissolving in my throat when I hear some type of uproar in the near distance and getting closer. "What's that?" I question as I scan our surroundings frantically, looking for the source of the noise in this godforsaken airport.

"No idea; sounds like it's coming from the direction of one of the gates that's letting out new arrivals." Marco explains.

The moment he completes his statement my eyes widen in horror when I see what looks like a swarm of media people heading in our direction. There are flashes going off in every direction threatening to blind us as I squint to see what the commotion is about.

It doesn't take long for me to realize what's going on though as the mass of bodies approach us.

"Justin!"

"Justin over here!"

"Justin smile! Why the long face!?"

"Justin, what brings you to Boston?"

"Where can we expect to see you while you're here?"

"Are you doing any public events or appearances?"

"What about Higher Heights Justin?"

That's when I see him; he breaks through the crowd with a rather large, dark man at his side who clears the way with a few brushes or more shoves.

"Fucking paps." Justin grumbles lowly, his black hoodie pulled tightly over his black fitted hat.

When he lifts his head in Marco and my direction, his steps falter and he quickly removes his dark sunglasses.

His blues crash into my gray-browns for a few seconds. He has an apologetic stare on his face before he quickly replaces his sunglasses over his eyes and walks right by us with the paparazzi hot on his trail.

I watch in awe as Justin disappears down the busy terminal with the crowd on his heels.

A deep scowl forms on my face when I turn to look at Marco who gives me a confused look.

"I guess picking Justin up at the airport wasn't the best idea?" Marco voices jokingly and I cringe

"I think he just saved us from having our photos plastered all over the tabloids. No one knows we were here waiting for him." I reason before gripping my brother by the arm so we can leave.

"Hmm, we should thank him then for ignoring us and passing us straight like we haven't been here waiting for him the past half hour." Marco jokes but I ignore him as we silently make our way out to the parking section of the airport.

"You're right. Imagine the chaos that would have ensued if Justin stopped and acknowledged us." I voice sarcastically.

"Behave Lili. You know he didn't do it to spite us. But how did anyone even know he was going to be here?"

"I don't know Marco. I just want to get home before mom and dad." I mutter, replaying the small scene we witnessed a moment ago in my mind.

That was...slightly shocking for me to witness. Is this how Justin's life is in California? Or more importantly, is this his life on a regular? Because if it is, I don't know if I want to be a part of that crazy life. Oh my god, Michelle and Sandra weren't over exaggerating. He really is a humongous deal. He really is this huge celebrity women and men fuss over. I mean, I never really did follow his career but now, now I'm thinking I need to pull myself out of the dark and really pay attention to what I'm dealing with here.

As much as I'd love for Justin to only be preppy J whom I love being around even when he annoys me to death, he's not. He's so much more than that...it's a little terrifying, maybe even intimidating.

There's this other side of him that I don't know. And I'll admit, I'm a little nervous to learn about him but, it doesn't look like I have a choice now.

As Marco and I get into his white jeep and buckle up, I jump when I hear banging on the back window.

I whip around in my seat and notice Justin standing outside void his sunglasses, his eyes darting around wildly before they meet mine and he signals for us to open up. Do I even want to know how he found us?

Marco chuckles before unlocking the back doors so he can jump inside.

"Thanks." Justin mutters as he slides in and shuts the door behind him.

I look around the parking area, not seeing the crowd who was stalking him earlier.

"How'd you get away from that crowd?" I ask in curiosity.

"Let's just say Mike my bodyguard is a genius." Justin beams from the backseat.

"And your luggage?" Marco inquires.

"Oh, uh don't worry about it. Mike will drop it off later. I gave him you guys address. I hope that's ok. I didn't want those people following me anymore. Can't figure out how they even knew I'd be here but..." Justin shrugs and Marco nods in understanding before starting up the ride and pulling out of the airport's parking area.

"Must be crazy being you then." Marco decides and Justin releases a low whistle.

"You have no idea dude. Not like I didn't know the consequences of my chosen career, but sometimes, it gets to be a bit much. Oh and sorry about earlier. The last thing I wanted was to pull you guys into this madness."

"Oh no it's ok. Marco and I were totally fine being ignored and brushed off like we weren't standing there for the past half hour waiting on you." I snap coldly, keeping my vision cast forward.

"Lili!" Marco warns while switching lanes. "You know Justin didn't have much of a choice, unless you wanted to see your face plastered everywhere like you stated."

"No, it's ok Marco, Lilah's right." Justin says quietly in the backseat. "I should have done more to avoid something like this from happening. I'm sorry." Justin voices solemnly before silence falls over us.

"Well, the important thing is you made it here in one piece." I finally speak up, not wanting to be upset. It really wasn't his fault. Gosh my mood is all over the place today and it's not even that time of the month.

"And on a lighter note, welcome to Boston, or welcome back, since I'm sure you've been here before Justin." Marco quips and Justin laughs lightly in response.

I take a chance and decide to look at Justin through the rearview mirror just in time to catch his eye. He stares at me for a brief moment and then looks away and out the window.

Sighing, I fidget with my nails, remaining quiet for the rest of our ride home...

**

Later

At The Marshall's Residence

Boston, MA

"Tell us more about what it's like being a fashion designer Justin."

This is insane. My mom is absolutely smitten with Justin. From the moment she and dad walked through the front door and saw him sitting on the couch chatting with Marco, they totally bum rushed him.

That was hours ago. I think between mom and dad, they've managed to ask Justin every question possibly known to man about his life, career, relationships and family.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm about ready to scream.

Not to mention the fact that they couldn't stop thanking him for being there for me and for the fact that he and I are friends. It was all very embarrassing.

Oh and I think my mom developed this crush on Justin after learning he was a fashion designer with his own clothing line. She's big on fashion and designer clothes so talking to him is like heaven for her.

Oh god, kill me now.

"Well Mrs. Marshall, don't you think it would be better if you got a chance to experience what it's like for yourself instead of me telling you? I'm sure witnessing what a day is like at William Rast would do more justice." Justin coos, smiling brightly.

My eyes widen in shock when I process his statement. Did he just...he didn't just...

"Are you inviting me out to William Rast in California Justin? Because if you are, I accept!" My mom squeals with excitement, causing dad to laugh deeply.

Oh no. No, no, no, no...

"Yes, if you'll come, my best friend Trace and I would love to show you around the company." Justin voices and what the fuck is he doing!?

"Uh mom he's joking." I cut in causing Justin to glare at me strangely.

"I assure you Mrs. Marshall, I'm not. It would be fun." Justin says, keeping his vision on me. "Unless..."

"Then it's a date." My mom chimes in and I huff before standing.

"May I be excused?" I say rather loudly and rudely.

"Delilah..." Dad begins. "Are you ok sweetie?"

"I'm fine dad. May I please be excused?" I ask again.

"Yes well, sure hunny, but do us a favor and show Justin to one of the guest bedrooms." My dad voices while looking at his watch. "Your mom and I need to get ready to head out. I almost forgot. We have a business dinner meeting in a few minutes...Linda?" Dad utters and I watch as my mom's attention sways from Justin to my dad.

She gives dad a look before relenting and standing with him. "Yes, duty calls. The real-estate business waits for no one. Can't put off with the clients." Mom explains and I roll my eyes slightly.

I swear, my parents are workaholics.

"Ok well Delilah, Marco is heading out with his friends and Linda and I will most likely be late tonight so don't wait up. At least, Justin can keep you company yes? We'll catch up in the morning." Dad voices while coming over to give me a quick hug.

"Fine dad." I mutter before telling my parents bye.

"Justin, it was a pleasure talking to you. We'll catch up tomorrow." Dad states and Justin stands quickly to give him a handshake.

"Of course sir. You and the misses take care." Justin smiles gingerly and my parents do the same before they quietly make their exit.

I stare at the closed door long after they've pulled out of the driveway and sigh.

Great, this is great. I'm going to be home alone with Justin in my house. What part of this seems so very wrong?

I turn to face Justin but before I can get a word in, Marco sails right by us muttering a quick ‘goodnight' before he's on his cell and out the front door leaving Justin and me alone for real this time.

I gaze around mindlessly, trying to get myself or more my thoughts together.

What's really wrong with me? Why am I behaving like such a bitch?

"So I get that you're not exactly thrilled to see me for some reason or other..." Justin says cautiously, his voice lower than normal.

Groaning, I whip around to face him and bite down on my lip when I see the confused maybe even hurt expression on his face.

"Did I do something wrong Lilah?" He asks but all I can do is stare at him, taking in his smooth shaven baby face, his short brown curls and pink luscious lips.

I swallow hard, shaking my head lightly.

"No, I'm sorry I've just been having a weird day." I admit.

Honestly, I have no idea why I'm like this. I think it's because I'm so anxious, so nervous.

I'm out of my comfort zone...because, Justin's here. It's one thing being around him at Higher Heights. But having him here at my home is just so...so different, so personal. It's overwhelming and, I don't do well with emotions.

"Are you sure?" Justin asks, not believing me. "Because what happened at the airport today really wasn't my fault but..."

"It's fine Justin. Shut up." I snap and he shrugs.

Just then the doorbell rings.

"Oh that must be Mike." Justin voices before leaving me and heading straight for the door. He unbolts the locks and swings it open without a second thought.

My eyes widen and I quickly rush to his side just in time to see him hauling in two suitcases.

"Thanks Mike. I'll call you if I need anything." Justin states and I remain quiet, watching the two interact.

"Miss." Mike says ‘hi' to me and I wave shyly at him before he bids Justin farewell. He's kind of scary to me but it must be because of his size considering he's Justin's bodyguard and all.

When he's gone, I shut and lock the door then gaze down at Justin's luggage.

"Uh, Justin?" I question, gazing up at him.

"Hmm?" He smiles coyly.

"Exactly how long are you going to be here?" I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer.

"Not long, a few days, maybe a week tops." He states. "There is this Red Sox and Yankees game I was hoping to catch while I'm here." He admits and I nod silently, still eyeing his tall frame.

"Gosh, where are my manners? I really am sorry Justin. I didn't exactly give you the best welcome huh?"

"Eh, it is what it is." He shrugs dismissively about to grab his luggage but I stop him by gripping his hand and forcing him to face me completely. "Lilah, it's ok, really." He utters softly, but I shake my head in protest.

"No, you're like my best friend now Justin. I know I'm not your best friend but you're mine and I'm sorry. I missed you. I did." I coo with a pout.

Before he can say anything else, I engulf him in a tight hug by stretching up to wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down and against me.

He hesitates before relaxing against me and slowly wrapping his strong arms around my waist. I smile softly when I hear him sigh and his hold on me tightens as he dips his head.

"I've missed you too Lilah. And, you're my best friend too, I promise." He whispers before we pull away from each other.

"But Trace..."

"He's my guy best friend and you're my girl best friend. I'm allowed to have more than one best friend." Justin jokes and I giggle.

"And Rachel?" I question.

"Rachel doesn't count. She's my cousin. She's more like my annoying sister." Justin voices seriously and I laugh loudly at that.

"Ok."

"Uh huh. So, can you show me to my room now? I'd really love a shower." Justin grins and I shake my head at him.

"I was wondering what that smell was." I muse.

"Cute Lilah. Cute." Justin grunts and I snicker in return as I help him with his luggage up the stairs to one of the guest bedrooms.

**

Sometime later

In Lilah's Room

After I gave Justin the tour of upstairs and showed him to his room, I decided to head to my room and grab a shower as well. Considering we're stuck together alone tonight, I figured I'd maybe turn in early.

No such luck though because there's a knock on my door.

Fixing my blue Pj's, I shake my head with a smile since I know it's Justin knocking.

"It's open!" I voice before folding some of the clothes on my bed to put away.

"Are you decent?"

"Come in Justin." I laugh softly.

I turn and smile as he enters shyly, his blues wide and scanning their surroundings as I pack some clothes away in my dresser.

"Nice room, although, I'm a little ‘creeped' out by all the red." He admits and I smile.

"It's one of my favorite colors." I divulge and he nods.

"Noted. So this is nice, you know, me, here with you, in Boston..." And I cut him off.

"About that..." I begin, giving him my full attention. "Why are you here Justin, really? And don't give me some lame excuse. The truth on your first try." I demand and he sighs heavily, looking away from me.

I thought I was the only one having an off day, but looking at him now, he's not exactly the Justin I remember...almost, but not quite.

He looks exceptional though in his grey wife beater and long cotton slacks. His hair has a shine to it obviously because he's fresh out of the shower but even with all of that, he's different.

"I wanted to see you again?" He voices and I roll my eyes.

"It's only been a few weeks." I admit. "You missed me that much huh?" I tease him but he doesn't laugh. He doesn't even crack a smile. He just stands there and glares at me. Ok, weird.

"I'm serious Lilah. I missed you yes, but I also didn't like the fact of only getting to talk to you over the phone."

"Um, ok we've established that. But even that's not enough to get you on a plane out here so what's really going on Justin?"

"I had a fight with my so-called girlfriend." He shakes his head as he says this and I feel my chest warm at the word girlfriend.

"You mean your ex-girlfriend?" I correct him but he mouth's ‘no.'

"To me she is but she insists that we're still together, that she won't give me up without a fight. To which I told her ‘good luck with that.'" He shrugs and I nod, not really following.

"Jessica Biel, the actress right?"

"Did your homework I see." Justin smiles pathetically. "Jess, she isn't all bad but she is a handful and very dramatic sometimes. I don't know Lilah. I'm trying to..."

"Trying to what exactly?" I interrupt him with a frown. "Why are you here Justin?"

"Would you let me finish? I'm trying to...I'm trying to...god I don't fucking know anymore." Justin grunts, swiping his fingers through his hair. "It all made perfect sense before I got here. Deal with my shit, get on the fucking plane, come out here to see you, tell you what I've been trying to for some time now in person instead of over the phone. Then I get here, and I see you, and my entire plan is shot to shit. And now, I'm having doubts. I don't see why, but I am and it's totally fucking with me."

Wow, talk about an outburst.

"O-k, I have no idea what you just said." I give Justin a small smile before pulling my hair into one and tying it, allowing a few tendrils to fall around my face.

"Do you even care that I'm freaking out here Lilah?" Justin asks in disbelief.

"No, not really." I shrug before tying the string of my blue pajama pants.

"You're kidding."

"Yes Justin! Yes! Look, I don't know what's going on, but maybe you shouldn't have come here. I knew this was a bad idea." I hiss.

"But Lilah I..."

"No Justin! You can't tell me why you're here, but you are and this is so off. You're not acting like yourself and there's obviously tension between us..."

"Don't you care to know why?" Justin snaps, walking over to me and gripping my shoulders.

"No, I think I'd simply like you to leave so I can sleep and get this day over with."

"Goddamn it Delilah!" Justin shouts and I gasp.

"You just called me Delilah." I say in shock.

"That is your name." Justin stares at me like I'm crazy but he doesn't get it.

"You never call me Delilah Justin..." I inhale deeply, my mind spinning with endless thoughts. What's happening here? "You should go."

"No, no Lilah I'm sorry, I don't know why, but I am. Just listen to me please. I promise you, there's a very good reason why I came out here to see you but telling you is...well, it's kind of hard."

"It shouldn't be." I state, fully annoyed with him now. "I don't get you Justin. You make everything ten times harder than it has to be. Ok, so you're here now in person. Whatever you have to say, spit it out! I'm so irritated with you! Just, let me go!" I try to brush him away but his hold on me tightens. "Let me go Justin!" I growl but he ignores me.

"Would you chill out Lilah?! I'm trying to..."

"You're trying to what Justin?!" I scream while I struggle in his hold. I push at his chest so he can let me go but he doesn't budge. Great, we're fighting. "Let me go!"

"For fuck's sake Lilah! I'm trying to tell you that I'm falling in love you, you stupid, stupid girl!" Justin rambles out in fury, shaking me violently in the process. "But you won't shut up long enough for me to think! Damn it! You make me so crazy sometimes!" He belts and I freeze solid, my throat tightening as I replay his words in my mind over and over again.

"What?" I gasp.

"What? What...I said that I'm..." And just like that he drifts, his blues wild as his breath comes in pants when he realizes what he's done. "I said, I said..."

"You love me?" I query with a scowl. I need to make sure that I heard him correctly because this is huge, this is... "And you called me a stupid girl." I add in, noting the panic on Justin's face. "Say something Justin!"

"I couldn't find the right way to tell you. I played this out over and over in my head and no way seemed right and then you kept pressuring me and I totally just snapped!" He rants. "Lilah, the last thing I want is to scare you away, hurt you or to give you a reason to not trust me but I..."

"You love me?"

I sound like a broken record, but can you blame me? I'm in shock. No, I think I'm traumatized. I mean, Justin, loves me? Say what now?

"Shit Lilah..." Justin sighs, finally releasing his hold on me. "Yes, yes, I can't take it anymore. I'm in love with you. I'm desperately, undoubtedly in love with you to the point where you drive me crazy. There, I said it. And, I get if you don't feel the same way because let's be real, you're you." Justin confesses, lifting his hands in the air and then dropping them at his sides in defeat. "And I'm so sick and tired of playing these games with you. And all this drama you have at Higher Heights because of Ethan, I'm sick of it too and I swear that next time, I will send the bastard to the hospital or do whatever it takes for him to leave you alone for good." Justin explains.

I blink slowly, still paralyzed in shock as I glare at him. "But why Justin?"

"Why what?" He asks skeptically.

"Why do you..."

"Why do I love you?" He inquires boldly and I nod dumbly. "Because Lilah..." He says breathlessly. "Why not? I know what you think of yourself and you're maybe thinking that I shouldn't care but, I do. I did from day one. I asked myself the same question and ended up switching my line of questioning to what's there not to love? I know it's clichéd but it's you and, you really need to stop thinking so little of yourself. Look at it this way...if you're worth fighting for, then you're definitely worth loving Lilah."

He holds my gaze, his blues pleading with me to understand, to try and make sense of this situation he so willingly put us in.

I expected anything else from him but not this, nothing like this.

What do I even say in response to that? Oh I love you too Justin? Really? No. Because I'm not even sure how I feel about him. I'm only now coming to terms with the fact that we're really, truly friends and then he sprouts this love thing on me and now I'm confused all over again and...

"But your girlfriend..." I say lamely and Justin lets out a deep groan in response.

"She's not my girlfriend Lilah. I don't...I don't want her. I mean, I care about Jess but...god, I want you Lilah, not her, or anyone else. Just you." Justin whispers, closing the small gap between us.

"Are you sure Justin? I mean, think about what you're saying here. I'm a mess." I cave, smiling weakly.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of my chaotic life at Higher Heights, of my dramatic family and most importantly, I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of fighting my emotions and I'm tired of fighting Justin and always finding ways to keep him at a distance because of my own fears and insecurities. I'm just tired...

"Lilah." Justin voices, gripping my chin and forcing me to look at him. "I've never been surer of anything in my life. And you can quote me on that." He chuckles weakly. "Besides, I happen to think we work well together. But, only if you'll let me in for real this time. Only if you'll have me. I'm not going to fight you on it. But, I couldn't keep my feelings in any longer. They were slowly ripping me apart. I'm sorry I needed to let them out..."

"Justin." I warn.

"Hmm?"

"Shut up." I demand and his lips curve into a large smile.

"Ok." He hums.

"Look, I can't say it back." I blurt out. "It's not that I don't want to. I simply want to mean it when I say it. I mean, you dropped that on me unexpectedly and I haven't taken any time out to sort out my feelings and, I don't do well with emotions but that doesn't mean I don't care. I care so much. That doesn't mean I couldn't feel the same way. It only means that..."

"I get it Lilah. I wasn't exactly holding my breath on you saying you love me back." He utters with arched brows.

"Hey!"

"What? This isn't some fairytale story Lilah, come on. I'm not delusional."

"Hey!" I say in offence, causing Justin to chuckle. "I resent that!"

"It's ok, really. I'm just glad to have it off my chest. Now would you shut up so I can kiss you?" Justin orders, cupping my cheeks in his palms.

"On one condition." I breathe heavily, a light giggle escaping me as he dips his head and his lips stop a few centimeters from mine.

"What?" He questions, his warm breath sending shivers through my body as his blues hold onto my gray-browns.

"Promise me you won't stop at just a kiss." I request timidly, my cheeks warming with a blush. Oh my god what am I saying?

He hesitates for a few seconds, his orbs searching mine as his breath deepens.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I lift my hands to grip unto him to balance myself since my head is spinning.

But I don't care anymore. I want him. "Promise that..." I swallow harshly. "Promise that you'll show me exactly how you feel." I say more boldly this time.

It seems like an eternity before he finally answers, but when he does, every single tense muscle in my body completely relaxes.

"I promise." Justin whispers with a light nod. "As long as you promise me you won't run away."

"Ok...I promise." I reply and that's all it takes before I feel his lips against mine in a deep kiss that takes my breath away.

23. Confession Time [Part 2]

There's a tiny part of me that's hoping, maybe wishing this is a dream, simply because, I'm not sure if I'm entirely able to handle the obvious consequences that will follow from my actions. I know what I want, but am I ready? I'd like to think that I am but I can still feel my head spinning and my emotions spiraling out of control.

And the more he kisses me, the more my urgency for him grows. And I've come to realize that maybe this isn't so bad after all. How could it be with how amazing just a simple kiss from him feels?

"You can say stop at any time and I will...ok?" Justin pants breathlessly as he backs us up to my queen sized bed.

I nod dumbly, my brain processes slowing by the minute as my basic instincts take over. God I want him so bad...all of him. This is so unhealthy, but I'm going to indulge anyway...

Breathing deeply, I bring my hands up to rest against Justin's chest, my palms slowly skimming over his hard pectorals. I listen to his breathing, deep and steady as he lifts his head to look at me, his blues shades darker due to his arousal.

"Any time, just say the word." Justin utters again and I nod with a light smile.

"Would you even be able to stop?" I question and he lets out a deep grunt, his lips twitching into a half smile.

"We'll see." He grins and I roll my eyes playfully, my palms closing into fists so I can grip him firmly by his wife beater.

"No need to..." I voice shyly, my vulnerable side shining through.                        

He curves his brows at me, a cocky grin spreading across his face, but I ignore it, my hormones getting the best of me. I pull him down again into a kiss, and this time, I waste no time in expressing just how much I want him, how much I need him right now. He responds like clockwork, his large hands gripping my waist as our fronts fuse together. I kiss him deep and hard and he returns the favor, my body melting against his own as I stifle a moan with how soft yet powerful his kisses are.

The back of my legs hit the edge of the bed, but that doesn't stop me. In fact, with a firm grip on Justin, I pull him with me as I allow myself to fall backwards unto the soft mattress. I giggle when he lets out a light gasp and his palms immediately land flat on the bed to lessen the impact of his fall.

"Do you want me to crush you Lilah?" He inquires in a deep warning tone and I shrug.

"You're not that heavy." I retort.

"I'm heavier than you." He counters.

"Yeah, yeah, cry me a river..." I blurt out mindlessly.

I watch how Justin's eyes widen in shock and I quickly slap my palm over my mouth when I realize what I said. Shit.

"Oh my god, Justin I'm so sorry, that just slipped out, I didn't mean anything by it and I..." But I drift when I see a rather large grin forming on his face.

"Just how many of my songs do you know Lilah?" He questions curiously. Oh no, he can't possibly want to get into this conversation now.

"Ugh, Justin!" I whine.

"I think you know more about my career than you're letting on miss Marshall." Justin teases.

"Please, Justin don't do this now." I plead, taking in the satisfied smirk on his face.

"It's ok if you're secretly obsessed with me and my superstardom. My feelings for you won't change if you're a fan." He wriggles his brows for me suggestively and I groan almost in pain.

Without missing a beat I reach up and pinch him hard in the arm.

"Ouch! Woman are you mad!?" Justin snaps with an exaggerated accent to his tone.

"Didn't have a pin. Pinching was the next best thing."

"Well please don't, it's like a pet peeve of mine." He explains.

"Too bad." I huff.

"Don't be cute." He scolds me and I smile, loving the sight of him as he hovers closely.

"Ok, then less talking and more love making." I order and he chuckles.

"Love making huh? Isn't that only an accurate labeling if both people are like madly in love with each other or something?"

"Shut up Justin." I bark and he obliges, slowly lowering himself to rest on top of me with his lower half between my legs.

"It's ok, I was only joking Lilah. I think calling it just sex cheapens the act and form of emotional expression anyway." Justin explains seriously.

My eyes flutter when he brings his hand up to delicately brush some of my hair out of my face.

I don't answer him. I don't want to talk anymore...I just want to feel.

He leans down and captures my lips again with his, his large hands shamelessly roaming over my curves and bumps. This would be the perfect time for my insecurities to kick in, but for some reason I don't care anymore.

"Hmmm, clothes off now." I mutter and Justin chuckles softly.

"As you wish." He snickers before pulling away from me and rooting off his wife beater.

I lay there, staring at his fully exposed chest...

"Wait!" I blurt out and he freezes, glaring at me oddly. "Condoms, we need condoms...yeah." I ramble, causing Justin to chuckle.

"I've got us covered." He wisecracks before pulling out a few condoms from his pockets.

I glare at him. "You know what? I'm not going to ask." I shake my head, giggling and he shrugs before an embarrassed smile play across his lips.

"In my defense, I didn't plan this." Justin quickly voices.

"Sure you didn't, you only came prepared. That's a lot better." I tease.

"I'd like to think so."

"Whatever Justin, come here..." I coo, pulling him down towards me.

I can't believe this is happening...

**

Later...

The house is practically empty, we're the only two people home and the only sounds that can be heard are the faint pants coming from me and the faint grunts coming from Justin.

Somewhere in our lustful haze, we managed to fully unclothe each other and in the middle of Justin kissing all over me wildly to me groping at him, my fears started to kick in.

I've been trying to ignore them, too caught up with Justin to try and stop him now, but there's still this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach on what taking this step is going to mean for us.

Justin lifts his head and gives me a small smile before he buries his face in my mounds, his tongue swirling over my nipples causing them to harden.

I gasp and arch my back slightly as he continues his assault while one of his hands smoothes down my stomach towards my center. I latch onto his back and I swallow, trying to catch my breath as his index finger slowly slips inside my opening while his thumb massages my clit.

My eyes widen slightly as I bend my knees and lift my legs.

I can feel his erection resting just at my entrance, hard and pulsing and I bite my lips, one of my hands snaking between us to grip his cock.

Justin lets out a light grunt as my fingers wrap around him, the condom he's wearing preventing me from feeling him completely.

"Lilah?" Justin whispers, pulling back to look at me. "You ready?" He asks hoarsely and I nod, not able to find my voice.

"Ok." He hums, removing his finger from inside of me and bringing it up to his lips.

I stop him by gripping his wrist and pulling his hand towards my mouth instead. In one swift motion, I take his index finger into my mouth, sucking on it and licking it dry.

Justin's orbs widen as he glares at me almost in a trance before positioning himself at me entrance. He pulls his hand away from me and leans down to capture my lips, his kiss stealing my breath as he slowly starts sliding into me, my walls expanding to accommodate his size.

My entire body tenses and I writhe a little beneath him but he has a firm grip on my waist keeping me in place as he slides in and out of me.

"Oh my god..." I choke out, breaking our kiss.

It doesn't take long for Justin to set his pace, his thrusts slow and powerful as he looks down at me, his blues holding my gray-browns.

"Justin I..." I trail, getting lost in his deep blues as he works my body into submission.

"What?" He smiles gently as one of his hands moves up to brush some of my damp hair out of my face.

Both of our bodies are coated with thin layers of sweat and I love how our different skin tones mesh together.

I love the feel of his strong sculpted arms, broad back and hard chest. He's gorgeous, from head to toe. And the more I look at him, the more I'm starting to realize that I might really be falling for him. But I...I'm not ready. I can't be in love with him, not yet...I'm not ready.

"I just want you to know that..." I gulp hard, my stomach tightening when Justin suddenly hits my g-spot. My toes curl and my grip on him tightens as he continues moving in and out of me, his hips bouncing against mine as he picks up his pace.

"What Lilah? It's ok, you...can...tell...me...anything." Justin grunts through each thrust, his face contorting in pleasure. He's trying his best to keep focused as he waits to hear whatever I'm trying to tell him.

I'm trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts while my body feels like it's on fire.

I can feel my stomach doing flip flops as I feel my orgasm slowly drawing near already.

"I want you to know that I...I lo...I could...love you; if you'll give me some time. But I care, I care a whole lot." I sigh, biting my lips to prevent myself from saying anything else I might regret. Now is probably not the best time considering our present state.

Justin's breaths are harsh and short as he continues grinding his hips against mine.

Letting out a low grunt, he dips his head to rest his forehead against mine. "I know Lilah, I know." He whispers. "It's ok, I'll love you no matter what." He adds in and my heart leaps at his words. How can he say that? How can he be so sure?

Shutting his eyes, Justin inhales deeply before gripping one of my legs and lifting it higher around his waist. That one action allows him to sink deeper inside of me and I let out a loud moan at the ripple of pleasure that suddenly hits me.

"Fuck." He growls, his thrusts now wild. "Damn Lilah I...god you're tight."

"I'm so close." I manage to get out.

"Me too baby, just let it out." Justin coos.

And I do, my hands gripping his face to pull him down for a kiss as I let go and allow my orgasm to wash over me.

Justin kisses me for a brief second before he pulls away and dips his head in the groove of my neck, his arms wrapping around my waist to pull me flush against his chest.

He elicits a faint, almost inaudible moan but I catch it just before his hips start to jerk as he reaches his peak, my walls still gripping him tightly from my own release.

Unable to control himself, Justin moans again, his low hums sending shivers through me.

Aw oh my god, his moans are so sweet and a major turn on.

I hold onto him, trying to catch my breath as we both come down from our climax.

Without warning, Justin suddenly flips us over and I gasp letting out a soft scream in the process.

I look at him as he moves to lie on his back with me on top of him.

He keeps his grip around my waist as he looks up at me, my hair falling around my face as I gaze at him.

"What the hell was that?" I pant breathlessly.

"I like the idea of you on top. We're gonna have to go for that position next time." Justin voices softly, still catching his breath.

Next time? Uh...

"You're cute you know that?" I giggle and he rolls his eyes, still inside of me.

"Whatever." He brushes me off, rolling us over again.

"Oh my gosh Justin!" I whine when he's hovering again, his hands flat on the bed holding up his torso.

He stares at me with intrigue for a few seconds before he slowly slides out of me, my body tensing at the loss of contact before I relax again.

"I'll be right back." He blurts out while shifting so he can get off the bed.

I sit up slightly and switch positions so I can lie on my stomach as I watch him carefully remove the condom from his thick, semi-hard cock.

I lick my lips, this urge to know what he tastes like engrossing me. Hmm, I bet he tastes delicious.

My god, what's happening to me?

I can feel my cheeks heating up as I openly continue to glare at Justin, my eyes drinking in the sight of him in all of his naked glory.

He seems comfortable with me staring too.

"I'm just going to the bathroom for a minute to dispose of this." Justin explains and I nod dumbly, still gawking at him.

He really is a beautiful man, from his broad shoulders, broad back, down to his freckled chest, fully defined abs and slim waist. He has some sexy legs too, for a guy at least.

I giggle, and he turns to look at me arching a brow before he chuckles and moves to exit my room.

My heartbeat instantly picks up and panic washes over me.

"Justin! Where are you going? You're naked!" I gasp.

"Relax Lilah. I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be right back." He replies.

"But you're naked!" I point out again.

"No one's home! Relax!" He snickers before he swings my door open and disappears outside.

"Oh my gosh he's crazy." I laugh out.

I'm not even comfortable with walking in my own house naked when I'm home alone and Justin just strolled out into the hallway like it was nothing.

Even to this day, that man continues to amaze me.

In no time flat, Justin returns, closing and locking the door behind him before he heads over to his discarded boxers and slips them on.

He turns to look at me and smiles before crawling back into bed with me.

"It's not fair that you get to put on your boxers and I'm here naked." I voice.

"Then put on your underwear. But no bra." Justin warns and I stick my tongue out at him before quickly moving around to do just that.

When I'm done, I help him with the covers and move to lie with him as we get more comfortable under the covers.

"You know, you should probably head back to your guest bedroom and not fall asleep here. I'm not sure we'd be able to explain to my parents and brother why you spent the night in my room."

"Sure we would. They simply might not like what we tell them." Justin quips and I glare at him.

"Come here..." Justin demands, snaking his arm out to wrap around my waist as I lie against him with him on his back. "So you want me to go to my room?" He questions. "Just say the word Lilah and your wish is my command."

"Justin..." I sigh. "You know I don't want you to go."

"Ok then."

"But you know that you should. I don't want my parents to get the wrong idea of you...or me for that matter."

"Your parents love me Lilah." Justin states.

"Yes, but they also just met you. My dad especially is protective of me. Mainly because of what I went through with..." But Justin cuts me off, not allowing me to finish my statement.

"I'm nothing like him." Justin growls angrily and wow, that came out of nowhere.

"I know that and you know that, but my parents don't know that. Not yet anyway. They think we're friends."

"We are friends Lilah." Justin voices, his tone slightly irritated as he bends his head to look at me.

"They think that we're only friends Justin. That's why my dad has taken to you. He thinks you're like my protector or something. If he thought that you and I...that we were more than just friends...he'd not be as pleasant with you. It's my dad. I...I mean my mom is different. I don't think she'd mind, but Marco and dad would."

"Ok, I get it. It's because of what you've been through. It's harder to trust new people that come into your life. I get that. But Lilah, you are your own person. You're a grown woman. You can make your own decisions. But out of respect for your family, I get it." Justin utters.

Gently, he pushes me away so he can sit up and I glare at him in perplexity.

"Justin, don't be like this." I plead.

"I'm not being any way Lilah. I understand and respect that if your family knew I was in love with you, it would be hard for them to accept me. I'll see you in the morning." Not turning to look at me he stands from the bed and moves around to grab his belongings before heading for the door. Is it just me, or did I sense hurt in his voice?

"Justin...wait." I jump out of bed and rush over to him to stop him, blocking his path. I slip in front of him and rest my back against the wall right next to the door.

I'm ignoring the fact that I'm only in my underwear here and my breasts are free and bouncing with each move I make.

Justin doesn't seem to care right now either as he holds my gaze.

I open my mouth to speak, desperately wanting to find the right words that will kill this tense moment between us, but nothing comes out. We were so good a few moments ago. But now, the moment's gone and my mind isn't fogged up anymore and while I want more than anything to tell him to stay with me and spend the night, I can't. It's not right, especially with my parents here.

What if, what if we awoke the next morning and one of them saw Justin leaving my room? Or what if one of them walked in on us? I can't risk that. Justin must understand this.

"Lilah." Justin softly calls out to me, jogging me out of my thoughts.

"Justin..." I sigh helplessly. "I, I think you're amazing." I blurt out.

"Uh, ok." He drawls, frowning lightly in confusion.

"And what happened...between us...that was amazing too." I continue. "I don't regret anything."

"Good to know." He says with a nod.

"Justin!" I smack him on his arm. "Don't be smart. I'll see you in the morning ok? We'll hang out tomorrow and do whatever you wanna do."

"Whatever I wanna do huh?" He suggests, that beautiful smile of his slowly returning.

"Get your mind out of the gutter." I scold him and he groans.

"Fine. Goodnight Lilah. I'll see you in the morning." He says gently.

"Goodnight Justin." I beam.

He leans down and cups my cheek in his palm with his free hand before placing a delicate kiss on my lips. When he pulls away, he searches my eyes with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"I have faith that we can make this work Lilah. But remember, you promised me, you wouldn't run away." Justin verbalizes.

"I know and I won't." I confirm, even if I'm having a hard time believing it.

Justin glowers at me, unconvinced, but he doesn't call me out on it.

Instead he sighs and pulls his hand away from my face before gripping the handle of my bedroom door and swinging it open.

"I hope so." Is the last thing Justin says to me before he swiftly makes his exit, gently shutting the door behind him.

And I exhale heavily, my heart beating rampant inside my chest as I try to make sense of how I allowed things to go this far.

Silently, I crawl back into bed under the covers, my senses on overload as I pick up Justin's scent on my pillow and sheets. I'm actually missing his presence already. I can't keep doing this to myself.

In the last few months, my life has been so crazy, I'm starting to think that things are never going to slow down or ever be normal with me again.

I mean, sure, the last three or so years of my life were fine when Ethan was ignoring me, but now that Justin's in the picture it's like everything is happening all over again. They really say your past can come back to haunt you, but this is ridiculous.

Even now, disregarding Ethan, I can't help but wonder just what am I getting myself into with Justin? His life isn't exactly a ray of sunshine either. I must really be out of my mind. He's a freaking celebrity for goodness sake.

Or maybe...maybe I just don't care because for the first time in a long time I'm allowing my emotions to do the talking. For the first time in a long time, I'm going along with my feelings and while I'm terrified of what that might mean, I can't shake the fact that no matter what I do, they keep leading me down the same path. They keep screaming out to me loud and clear.

But I don't want to listen...not yet...I'm not ready. Why? Because if and when I finally do give in to everything I'm feeling, the first thing that's going to hit me is the fact that I'm falling for Justin. Not only am I falling for him, but I have no control over it. And that's scary when you don't have control over these types of emotions.

What if I got hurt again, then what? I honestly don't think I'll be able to mend and function a second time around.

More importantly, I wish I cared a little bit more about protecting myself from ever getting hurt again, instead of giving in to the almost chant-like thoughts I have swirling in my head, telling me that I don't only care about Justin like I'm letting myself believe.

If anything, all I keep thinking is that I'm falling in love him. I'm falling in love with Justin. I...I think I might actually, genuinely love him.

But I can't tell him that, not yet, because I'd like to know more about his life first.

I know that's just an excuse but I'm not ready yet. I'm not.

I'm not ready to love him. I'm not ready to explore what it would mean if I openly loved him.

In fact, I'm not sure that I'll ever be ready...

24. Me, you...and then there's 'us'

A Few Days Later

Boston, MA

July...

I'd like to think that I'm a reasonable guy and that I can handle just about anything that comes my way.

I'm patient when I need to be and take things with good stride usually, but this time goes without saying that I'm just about ready to flip.

It's as if everything is the same and nothing has changed.

And by that I mean, yeah you guessed it, a certain miss Delilah Marshall.

After that night we...you know...‘hooked up' or whatever you want to call it, I'm not big on labeling it, the next day, it was almost like nothing happened. Almost.

I know Delilah, so when we joined her family in the dining room for breakfast that morning, I could sense the subtle change in her. She was a little jumpy, a little edgy, but mostly she looked happy. She was...glowing. And it made me feel damn good to know I was the cause of that. Still, that didn't change a thing. If anything, she was the same Lilah with me. I mean, I didn't expect much from her, I really didn't because she's well, herself. But, shit, I expected something...anything. Maybe some type of affection or a softer side considering I blatantly admitted to being in love with her. That was not easy for me to do by the way.

I could have easily set myself up for disaster but I didn't care because all I saw, all I still see, is her.

I admire the heck out of Lilah, I do, but I can't quite put my finger on why she enjoys being so fucking exasperating almost all the time.

And that's putting it mildly because dealing with her is emotionally, psychologically and sometimes even physically draining.

But I care too much to walk away. I believe in her a little too much which is why I put up with her and why I'm sticking around.

Besides, I've invested too much of my time and effort in her to give up now. I know I'm getting through to her. I know, without a shadow of a doubt that I'm getting through that thick, stubborn head of hers. Hell if I wasn't, we wouldn't be here right now, animatedly arguing over the Red Sox Vs. Yankees game we just came from seeing at the baseball stadium.

I'd like to think we've come a long way as friends but I'm sure the process would have moved along a lot smoother if Delilah wasn't well, Delilah.

But then where would we be? If she wasn't herself, I might not have taken such interest in her or taken up this almost impossible challenge of trying to get through to her and possibly finding and pulling out the amazing woman I know she's hiding somewhere beneath her shell and many layers.

But I digress. Because despite all of that, I still somehow managed to fall in love with her. And while I feel like that's going to be my undoing and the cause of my many mood swings, heartaches and fights in the near future, I'm ok with it.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm totally copasetic with roughing the elements of our dysfunctional relationship if it means I get to experience the good with the bad.

"We're both Red Sox fans yet you're backing the Yankees because you think the Sox shouldn't have gotten that homerun?" I question with a chuckle.

Lilah can be so confusing sometimes I swear. But she's still cute.

"No, it's not that it's just...the Yankees could have stopped that homerun easily."

"Yes, if they were paying attention and caught and passed the ball like they should have at the bases."

"Whatever...I'm just saying. I'm still happy the Sox won though." Lilah shrugs as she shifts behind the steering wheel before switching lanes at the light.

"I get it, but it was still a pretty close game." I voice.

"Yes, I had fun." She smiles before pulling at her Red Sox cap which matches the one I'm wearing.

No, I'm not into the whole matching couples thing. I just thought it would be cool to get us some memorabilia.

"I had fun too. Thanks for coming out with me. I thought for sure you would have told me to go with Marco or something." I quip and she giggles in return.

"I thought about it, but then what kind of friend would I be?"

"Not a very good one. Not that your brother isn't cool, but he scares me sometimes." I laugh and Lilah nods in agreement.

"Yup, he can be a hard ass. But he means well."

It's true. Marco has this badass thing about him that can be intimidating. He doesn't flaunt it, but it's there.

"So, what are we doing for the rest of the day? Had anything in mind?" I ask Lilah, keeping my focus on her as she keeps her focus on the road.

I smile lightly, resting back in my seat as I gaze out at the window, taking in the many Boston sights and smells as we head back to her home.

"No, I'm blank." She voices with a light yawn.

"You're tired." I point out, glaring at her.

"It's been a long day."

"It has." I agree, gauging her reactions.

"How about we stay in tonight and just laze around? I don't know what everyone else is doing but I'm down for kicking back with a DVD or something." Lilah suggests.

I think for a minute, liking the sound of that, but I feel like we should be doing a little more considering my time here is quickly coming to an end.

I know Lilah's still hesitant about my life outside of Higher Heights, but all she has to do is come down to visit me like she promised and I'll be sure to catch her up to speed and show her that there's nothing to be skeptical about. Behind all of my fame and status and whatnot, I'm still just me.

"You know, I'm going back to Cali in a few days." I mention, my eyes fixated on Lilah's frame.

She tenses slightly, her grip on the steering wheel tightening as she turns down on the street where her home is situated.

"I know." She mutters and I frown at her before looking away.

"And, I was thinking, maybe we could go out to dinner instead." I say softly.

No response.

If I didn't know better, I'd say she's intentionally ignoring me, but as we near her home, I'm realizing that her lack of reply is simply from distraction.

My reaction is immediate, my calm mood slowly slipping away as we pull up behind a silver Acura.

Lilah quickly parks and kills the engine before unbuckling her seatbelt to bolt from the ride.

I on the other hand remain seated, my blues narrowing slightly as I take in the sight of Marco and Ryan talking just at the foot of the driveway.

This should be interesting.

Marco's expression is unpleasant whereas Ryan's own is almost pleading. I look at them with curiosity as Lilah intervenes, stepping between the two of them with her back to her brother as she faces Ryan.

I should probably stay out of whatever family issues they're having now since I'm already in way too deep as it is. But, ignoring my logical side, I undo my seatbelt and swipe my palms over my jeans and red t-shit before inhaling deeply and exiting the jeep.

The moment my door slams shut, everyone's attention is diverted in my direction and I bow my head slightly, averting their gaze.

"What the fuck is Justin doing here?" Ryan speaks up, stepping away from Delilah and walking towards me.

Marco quickly blocks his path, giving Ryan a light shove in the chest.

"Chill out Ry, Justin's here visiting." Marco speaks up.

"Visiting?" Ryan questions, looking at his cousin with heated eyes. "You mean visiting Delilah? So this is why you suggested I stayed with one of my friends for the next few days? This is the guest you all have over why I can't come home? It's my home too you know. You're kicking me out for Justin?" Ryan snaps.

I didn't see that one coming.

"No shithead. We don't have any space. None of the rooms are made up. You have nowhere to fucking sleep Ry. Justin got the only extra room that was available. Give us a few days and we'll get your room made up. You know mom and dad and their house makeover bit. No one's here half the time because everyone is off at school during the year. Mom and dad moved our things to make space for storage. They honestly didn't think you'd even be coming home. They thought you would have stayed at Ethan's." Marco explains.

Why does hearing Ethan's name make me feel like punching someone?

"What's wrong with me camping out on the floor or something? Why do I have to leave?" Ryan argues and I can't help but smirk as I shove my hands in my pockets.

"You and Justin don't exactly get along smartass. Mom and dad aren't here right now, so you should go and when they get in you can come back and plead your case. But be ready to tell them everything...and I mean everything that's happened at that fucking boarding school because even today, they still don't know all the horrid details." Marco growls angrily.

"Right. So no matter what you say, this comes back to the fucking celebrity." Ryan hisses as he turns towards me. "You know, Justin, just because I said you weren't so bad and I made sure to stay away from you and not get involved or whatever doesn't mean I'm ok with this...any of this." Ryan voices.

He's one to talk. He's the one who's best friends with the one person trying to screw his family over. I'd tell him this, but I'm not big on conflict right now so I remain silent for the most part.

"Ryan, just go." Lilah says weakly and my eyes flit in her direction.

She looks drained, annoyed and so over this. I can't blame her. I'd be tired too after being surrounded by fuck ups like Ryan and Ethan most of my life.

"Fine. I'll go, but I'll be back." He spits, keeping his focus on me as he pushes Marco out of his way.

"Look Ry, it's not that we don't want you home, we'd just like to lessen the drama where mom and dad are concerned. Understand that. The same way we understand and accept that you're friends with Ethan." Marco voices sternly.

"Family comes first dude." Ryan retorts.

"Really Ryan? Because from where I'm standing, Justin fits that category a lot better than you do right now." Lilah barks and Ryan's eyes widen in shock and offence.

Can't say I'm not stunned by her admittance either. Even Marco seems surprised that his sister would say such a thing.

"We'll see." Ryan speaks calmly. "When I prove you wrong, don't say I never did anything for you Delilah." He states.

With that said, he walks away from us and hops into his Acura, speeding down the street and out of sight.

A low whistle escapes me as I remain in place, not wanting to overstep my boundaries here.

It's hard to figure Lilah out. On one hand, she's insufferable and on the other hand, she ends up doing and saying shit like what she just said to Ryan. It's like she has an imbalance or something.

Marco shakes his head sadly while turning to head back inside. "I'm going to get ready to head out. I'll see you guys later." He mutters before disappearing indoors, leaving Lilah and me alone.

"So..." I finally speak up, walking over to Lilah and gripping her hands in mine, giving them a light squeeze.

"I heard you..." She begins. "What you said earlier about us going out to dinner."

"Oh?" I curve a brow. "If you don't want to..."

"Would you need Mike there with you?" She asks and I sigh.

"Yes, if we're out in public. He'd probably kill me if he found out we went to that baseball game without him. He'll probably find out eventually. I did get noticed by a few fans." I explain.

"Luckily, it was while you were away getting refreshments and nowhere near me." Lilah giggles.

"Yeah, lucky for you. Look, Lilah, I can't hide you from the world forever. I'm not going to. You do know that right?" I question and she nods timidly. "As much as it pains me to say this, we're not a couple or anything, but you are a part of my life. And once I consider you important, the rest of the world is going to want to know you. Not to sound cryptic, but it's a small price to pay because of who I am."

"I, I understand Justin."

"Do you really? I'm not some unsolved mystery Lilah." I smile. "Hey look at me." I pull my hand away so I can grip her chin and lift her head. "I can catch you up to speed with my life, with what it's like being me easily. Just, say the word and you'll know everything you need to know, even more than the public does considering you're part of my inner circle and all." I explain.

"Of course, I know that." She says surely.

"Then why are you so hesitant about everything almost always?" I inquire.

"I don't know...I guess really seeing and embracing you in this celebrity light is going to take some getting used to."

"And I'm ok with that." I grin, causing her to smile in return.

"Alright then. Well, in that case, to save you from being recognized and pulling Mike out to be with us, how about we still have dinner but indoors? I'll cook." Lilah suggests and the smile on my face widens.

"I'm definitely ok with that." I chuckle. "I'll help, it'll be fun." I decide and she nods before leading us towards the entrance of the house...

**

Later

"Remind me again whose idea this was?" Marco asks as he steals from the baked macaroni I just pulled out of the oven.

"Dude, chill with the sticky fingers!" I chuckle, pulling the hot dish away from Marco and placing it on the other side of the table. "And it was Lilah's idea." I point out, stealing a glance at her as she turns off the stove and removes the stewed chicken and vegetables to place on the countertop.

"Hmm, I guess you being here brings out a whole new side of her huh Justin?" Marco voices, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I uh, I'm not following." I say clueless.

"As far as I know, Lili hates cooking." Marco voices.

"I do not Marco." Lilah defends and I take a step back, a soft chuckle escaping me.

"Is that so?" I question. "Funny. When we spent time together back at school, she had no problem hitting the kitchen at my place." I blurt out.

Marco turns and gives me a look and shit, was I not supposed to say that?

"I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that." Marco voices with a shake of his head, a half smile shining through his serious expression.

"People can change Marco." Lilah quickly pipes in to sway his attention. "Cooking isn't so bad. I do it when I have to."

"Sure sis, whatever. Listen when mom and dad get in, tell them I'm out. Oh and leave me a plate. Later." Marco voices before placing a chaste kiss on Lilah's cheek and excusing himself to leave.

When he's gone, I breathe a sigh of relief while resting my back against the kitchen counter.

"I'm never going to get used to him." I voice softly and Lilah giggles as she moves to rest next to me.

"Oh, he'll make sure of it too. But, Marco is cool. You know, he's family and I love him." Lilah admits.

"Yeah, I got you." I say, gazing at our surroundings as we wait for the food to cool.

"I meant what I said earlier too Justin. I consider you a part of my family." Lilah adds in and I turn to look at her, taking in her soft gray-browns and the way she fiddles with her blue t-shirt and shorts.

I swallow harshly, folding my arms across my chest as I smile at her when she starts playing with her messy hair. Even now, in her state, I still think she's beautiful. Shit, what's wrong with me?

Blinking rapidly, I look away from her, a deep frown forming on my face when I think of everything I've been through with her and my time at Higher Heights.

"Justin...say something...please?" Lilah whispers, moving to stand before me.

She forces my arms open and steps into my embrace before resting her head on my chest. Seconds later, she pulls me into a hug and I'm just standing there against the kitchen counter, looking down at her, not reciprocating her actions.

"I don't..." I hesitate. "I don't know what to say anymore Lilah. I don't know what you want me to do or say. I don't know how else I can prove to you that you can trust me, that you can confide in me and be yourself with me. You don't have to be so uptight. It's ok to break down your walls. I mean, I'm doing the same with you. I really don't know what you want from me anymore. If me telling and showing you I genuinely love you isn't good enough then..." But she cuts me off, lifting her head to look at me.

"I know you love me Justin." She voices and I nod still looking at her, finally wrapping my arms around her waist.

I wish she'd say it back. But that's all this is right now...wishful thinking.

"Good and don't forget it." I grin.

"And everything you said, you're right. I shouldn't be the way I am with you still. You don't deserve that."

"Then stop it." I say jokingly with a chortle.

"I wish it were that easy. You know the saying old habits die hard? Well, that's me. I spent so many years building up this protective shield, it's like...it's almost like I can't even remember the person I use to be before. It's hard. But, I'm trying." She voices. "If anything, I need to remember to try extra hard with you so I don't push you away or completely drive you crazy in the process like you stated." She smiles and I return the favor, that thread of hope I was longing for finally manifesting.

"That's all I ask." I hum, leaning down to place a soft kiss on her mouth. "Actually..." I pause mid-kiss. "There is something else I've been meaning to ask you."

"What?" Lilah questions, giggling when I start placing feathery kisses on her lips.

"Say you'll be with me, that you'll give us a chance, a real chance?" I ask hopefully, continuing my assault on her lips.

"As in...a couple?" She questions and I hum in response, getting carried away.

"Uh huh..." I breathe out.

"Ok." Lilah mutters and I pause suddenly, pulling away from her.

Her eyes are still closed and her lips are still puckered when I look down at her, an amused smile forming on my face.

"Ok meaning?" I gesture for her to elaborate and her eyes finally flutter open.

"Ok, I'll give us a try."

"You mean that?" I ask, still skeptical that she's going to switch or say 'gottcha' or something.

It can't be that easy, can it?

"Yes Justin. I'm keeping my word. I'm trying extra hard remember? I'll give us a try. And, if things don't work out, then, we could still be friends right?" She beams up at me and I bite the corner of my bottom lip to refrain from voicing my thoughts.

For us to remain friends if we didn't work out would all depend on the reason behind the breakup. But, I'm not going to think about that so I simply nod. ‘

"Sure." I force out, keeping my smile.

Why would she even consider things not working out between us? Hasn't everything we've been through so far proven to her that I'm ready and willing to make things work at all costs?

"So that's it then. Now I'm really gonna have to come out to visit you so you can get me up to speed with your hectic life."

"We'll have fun." I assure her, my thoughts quickly jumping to Jessica at the notion of Lilah coming to Cali.

Shit. I'll have to deal with Jess when I get back and make sure that she gets the picture that we're over loud and clear. The last thing I want if for her to mess things up for me with Lilah.

"Uh huh." Lilah sighs contently and I gaze at her, happy that we were able to get to this point.

I don't think I'll ever tell her this, but Lilah has no idea how many times I came close to giving up. I never could go through with it though. Now, thankfully, I don't have to worry about that anymore.

"You're cute you know that? And you have a gorgeous smile." I coo.

"Hmm, right back at ya." Lilah giggles.

As I lean down, about to kiss her again, we're inconveniently interrupted by the clicking of heels followed by a soft gasp.

"Oh, hello, am I interrupting?"

My eyes widen and my head jerks up and towards the person who just joined us in the kitchen.

I instantly lock eyes with Mrs. Marshall, Delilah's mother and I can feel my ears heat up as embarrassment washes over me.

"Mom? Oh um, no..." Lilah quickly speaks up while detaching herself from me.

She walks over to her mother who's still eyeing me and gives her a quick hug.

"Are you sure sweetie? Because it looked like I walked in on a very intricate moment between you two." Linda voices. "Hello Justin." She smiles widely for me and I duck my head while mindlessly scratching the back of my neck.

"Uh hey, Mrs. Marshall." I say softly.

"Linda's fine." She replies and I look up at her, a coy smile gracing my features when I see the knowing look she's giving me.

"Mom? Where's dad?" Lilah asks, trying to distract her mother but to no avail.

"He's parking the car. He'll be inside shortly. So tell me, what smells so wonderful?" Linda asks while making her way into the kitchen.

She strolls by me and heads over to the food Lilah and I cooked, inhaling deeply.

"We cooked mom." Lilah voices proudly and Linda looks at her daughter in awe before casting her vision in my direction.

"It was all Lilah's idea." I say in defense, still smiling like an idiot.

"Huh...I see. You got my baby in the kitchen. Well, looks like we're going to have to keep you around then Justin...yes?" Linda muses and I shrug in response feeling too awkward to actually speak. "Right, shall we set the table?" Linda adds in, dismissing me as she moves around to do just that.

I continue staring at her in wonderment, trying to make sense of what's happening now.

Lilah walks up to me with a shake of her head as she stares at her mother.

Lowering her voice, she pulls me to the side so her mom won't hear as she whispers to me.

"It's official. My mother loves you." Lilah giggles and I smile at that fact while studying her mother before diverting my attention elsewhere.

"Lucky me then." I finally speak up, even if deep down I'd much rather if Lilah's sentence went more along the lines of I love you instead of my mother loves you.

No need to worry though. I'm sure with time, that'll all change. I'll make sure of it.

25. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Days later...

In Boston

"I'll call as often as I can."

"Ok."

"I mean it Lilah. Make sure your phone is charged."

"Got it."

"No voicemail, well unless you don't have your phone at the time."

"Alright."

"When we can't talk we'll text ok?"

"Yup."

"And..."

"Justin! We'll keep in touch! Go!" I laugh.

Sighing, he swipes his fingers through his curls as he eyes me.

"I'm going to miss you." He pouts. "Tell your folks I'll miss them too."

"I know they'll miss you. They love you." I state. "And, I'll miss you too, but I'm going to see you in two weeks!" I giggle.

"That's a long ass time Lilah." He says sadly.

"Think about it this way. In two weeks, I'll be out in California with you. And then not long after, the semester's gonna be starting up." I explain. "We'll have plenty of time to be together Justin, now go before you miss your flight." I smile.

"I can't miss my flight. The pilot's waiting on me." He beams proudly.

"Isn't he still on some time schedule?" I question and Justin's smile falls.

"He is." He says softly.

Aw, he's too cute.

"Don't worry, J. I'll be in Cali before you know it." I coo, walking with him through the terminal to his gate in the airport with Mike and Marco close behind chatting.

I'm trying not to be all sappy here, but I am going to miss him...a lot. Justin's not making this any easier either with his whining.

"I've been meaning to ask you something." Justin suddenly blurts out, stealing glances at me.

"Shoot." I voce as we make it to his departure gate.

I'm really not allowed this far into the airport since I'm not traveling but when you have someone like Justin around, almost anything goes. He literally insisted to the guards that I came this far with him. I can't believe they agreed. One even got Justin's autograph.

"About your tattoo." Justin begins, trying to hold back his chuckles when I give him a death glare.

"Don't even...took you long enough." I sigh, surprised that he didn't bring it up the very first time he witnessed it...or more them.

"Paw prints on your lower abdomen, just above your hair line Lilah? I'm sorry; I've been holding that in ever since we..." But he drifts, his ears turning a bright shade of pink.

"What do you want to know about them Justin?" I giggle at his embarrassment.

He clears his throat, shifting his weight on his feet. "Nothing...nothing at all. I like them." He nods, changing his mind about whatever question he must have been itching to ask me for days now.

"Ok then. Well, if that's all, you should go." I give him a light nudge and his eyes widen before he grips my wrist to stop me.

"I told you I'd get to see your tats one day." Justin says triumphantly with a large grin on his face.

I roll my eyes, emitting a soft groan. "And you did. Now please Justin. Why are you dragging this out? You're killing me here."

"But I don't want to go." He pouts yet again, releasing his hold on me. "Why are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Oh my god I'm not! But you're making this harder when you keep stalling. You know you have to go. Don't make Mike haul you away. He looks like he's about to do just that."

After I say that, Mike walks up to us and sure enough, he places his hand on Justin's shoulder. "J, we need to go now. Delilah, take care of yourself. I'll see you again soon." Mike speaks up and I nod, giving him a wave.

I divert my attention back to Justin just in time to see his irritation over the fact that Mike is pushing him to walk.

"Ugh! Damn it! Fine, fine get off me!" Justin chuckles, brushing Mike off. "Bye Lilah. I'll call." Justin says, bidding me farewell before he turns around to leave.

"Justin wait!" I call out, rushing up to him.

When he spins around I lunge myself into his arms, giving him the tightest hug I can. He hugs me back, dipping his head in the groove of my neck. "Safe flight. Let me know when you reach home." I whisper in his ear before pulling away and putting some distance between us.

He glares at me for a bit, his face expressionless before he nods lightly and silently turns to leave.

When Justin and Mike disappear out of sight I heave a sigh, shaking my head sadly.

"He's grown on you huh?" Marco asks, walking up to stand next to me.

I turn to look at my brother, noting the smile on his face.

"I wish that weren't the case." I voice pathetically.

Actually, being fond of Justin isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

"But he did. And for that, I can't hate him, not unless he hurts you. But, judging by what I've seen, I don't think he will." Marco states.

Hmm. "Sure." I shrug, whipping around to leave. "You coming? We have grocery shopping to do before mom and dad get home with Ryan." I voice, walking away.

Marco quickly catches up to me as we make our way out of the airport.

As we walk in silence, I can't help but allow my mind to run wild.

Justin was here...he actually came out to visit me on our summer break. He dropped everything just to be with me. He ended up confessing that he loves me. And, when we slept together, it was amazing.

Every promise I made to myself, every wall I built, every rule I set for myself, they all fell apart. I don't think Justin even knows that he's managed to shatter almost every single protective shield I had surrounding me. Now I'm exposed, and I should be terrified, but surprisingly I'm not. In fact, it's not so bad, allowing myself to care, to feel and be in touch with my emotions again. It's not so bad just taking things as they come without over thinking everything. It's definitely not as stressful and bothersome. And I have Justin to thank for that.

And I will, when I see him again. I would have told him before he left, but I kind of need the extra time to prep myself for this step I'm about to take. This is major for me and I need to make sure that I'm ready. Because when I head out to visit Justin in a few weeks, I have every intention of finally just letting go of all my doubts and fears and telling him exactly how I feel.

Hopefully, he'll be happy about that and at the same time, I'll get to learn about the side of him that's loved by millions.

But, first thing's first. I need to develop a plan of action on how I'm going to put my past to rest because I'll be damned if I allow Ethan to ruin my chance at happiness again or cause anymore problems for my family.

****

Hours Later

California

Justin's Place

"I'm home...finally."

Sighing, I amble into my house then close and lock the front door behind me.

It's been a long day...no doubt.

I'm actually kind of bummed out too. Yes, it's because I miss Lilah. As stubborn and as infuriating as she can be sometimes, I miss her. Because she's also kind, caring and can be the biggest clown when she wants to be. I think she's amazing and no matter what anyone else thinks, how I feel about her is what's most important to me.

Groaning, I dump my luggage by the foot of my stairs, too tired to even attempt to carry them upstairs to my room. Eh, I'll get them tomorrow.

I inhale deeply, a lazy smile stretching across my face. Ah, this is perfect...pure silence.

I specifically asked for no one to be home when I got in and I appreciate that they respected my wishes.

I'm not up for Trace and Rachel's nosey ass selves. I'm lucky my mom is in Tennessee because if she was here, I'd not hear the end of it. That is maybe why I haven't exactly told her much about Lilah. I mean, she knows I met a girl at school who was showing me around and all that, but she doesn't know much else. And, I'm going to keep it that way until my mom understands that Jess and I are never getting back together.

She still thinks of Jess as a daughter and how fucking awkward would things be if I brought Lilah into the mix? No, no I need to cut Jess loose completely and make sure that my mom gets the picture else bringing Lilah around will only cause chaos.

I have two weeks to work a miracle on my mom and sway her before Lilah comes to visit. That shouldn't be so hard right? Right.

As I move around my home, I switch on a few lights before I feel my cell phone buzz in my jeans pocket. Seconds later, the ringtone starts blaring, piercing through the silent atmosphere.

Letting out a soft grunt, I pull it out and read over the text messages I just received from Trace.

"Yow J. I hope you're back safe by now. Give me a call when you can ok? I'm stopping by tomorrow so we can head down to the office and go over some sketches for the new fall line of WR. Oh and just so you know, Esmee's tour is going great. Don't forget her performances taking place here in a few weeks. Also, Johnny called. He said to make sure that you come in to see him when you get back. They finalized everything for you to hit the studio when you get back to New York for your last semester at that school. You just need to give him and Rihanna's people your schedule since you'll be one of the producers working with her on her new album. Alright man, later. T."

"Great." I mutter, tossing my phone onto the table in the hallway right next to the staircase. "The work never ends. Even on my summer break I'm working." I mumble. "Then, when October rolls around, I have the big Shriner's golf tournament to oversee. Shit." I hiss. I almost forgot about that too. It's not my fault this year has been very different for me.

It's like my life has been thrown off balance. I don't even know how I'm going to pull that tournament and benefit concert off when I have to be at Higher Heights during that time. Shit, shit, shit...I'll have to think of something.

Before I can allow my thoughts to roam freely, I hear what sounds like a metal object drop from somewhere upstairs.

The clinging sound it makes echoes loudly before silence takes over again.

A frown graces my face and I move around to grab one of my golf clubs from the closet.

Casting my vision to the staircase, I say a silent prayer and quickly make my way upstairs, hoping that I'm not faced with burglars or something.

As I make my way down the hall, I notice that my bedroom light is on and my steps falter as my heartbeat speeds up.

"What the hell?" I whisper.

Slowly, cautiously, I push the door to my room open and walk inside, the faint smell of peaches filling my nostrils.

My head snaps in the direction of my bathroom door when I hear the water cut off. Seconds later, the door swings open and my eyes widen when a figure emerges amidst the steam.

"God that hurt." The person whines, and I'm immediately taken aback by the sight before me.

"Jess?" I ask in shock, my tight grip on the golf club remaining as I lower my hand.

A startled shriek escapes her as she jumps around to face me, dropping the metal towel rod in her hand. Well, that would explain the noise I heard. How in the world did she even manage to root it off the wall? I'm thinking she tripped and gripped it to try and keep her balance or something.

But, that's not important right now. What's important is that there's a very wet, very naked Jessica standing in my room only wrapped in one of my white towels.

"Oh, Justin, you scared me." She places her hand on her chest and I'm just standing there, glowering at her.

"What...what..." I drift, utterly stunned by her presence. What the fuck is going on? "Why are you here?" I finally manage to get out.

"Oh um...right." She voices nervously, bowing her head.

My eyes narrow as they travel over her frame. Subconsciously, I lick my lips before meeting her gaze, waiting for some type of explanation.

"You're home early. I wasn't expecting you until later." She says shyly.

"Uh...ok?" I make a hand gesture for her to elaborate.

"I'm sorry. I, I only wanted to surprise you." She caves.

"How did you even get in here?" I inquire.

"I let myself in." She smiles at me. "I have a key, remember?"

"Right..." I drawl. I forgot I gave her one back when we were dating. Note to self, get locks changed as soon as possible. "And you came here..."

"To surprise you." She reiterates, looking at me strangely.

"I get that. But why? And surprise me how exactly?" I swallow hard when she walks up to me, closing the gap between us.

My heartbeat picks up speed when I get a whiff of whatever soap she showered with. Shit, she shouldn't be here.

"Well uh..." Jess bites her bottom lip as she looks up at me. "I was hoping to be in bed by the time you got in. I wanted to surprise you and was hoping we'd get to talk." She coos. She gestures towards my bed and my blues immediately land on a black lingerie set.

I was so focused on the noise I heard when I came in I didn't even notice that lying there.

No...no, no, no...this is not happening. This is bad. This is very, very bad.

"In other words, you were hoping to seduce me and get me right where you wanted me." I snap at her.

"Guilty." She shrugs and I curve a brow in interest.

"What exactly were you hoping to accomplish from this Jess?" I ask, taking a step away from her.

I lift my golf club and place it in front of me, tapping the floor with it to stop her advances.

"I don't know Justin." She relents. "I...I missed you and was hoping that you missed me too. I don't know what I was expecting really. I do know that when Trace said you were out of state for a few days I figured it would be as good a time as any to try and talk to you when you got back. To really talk about us and..."

"Us?" I ask in disbelief. "Jess, there hasn't been an ‘us' for a while now."

"I know that, but I was hoping I could...convince you to change your mind?" She says in a small voice.

"Right...by seducing me." I remind her and she nods, guilty.

Sighing, I rub at my face to ease my nerves and my rampant heartbeat. "I don't know how you could be so stupid to think that shit would work..."

"It has in the past!" She defends and I frown.

"Maybe. But Jess, we were a couple then. Now, now is different. And I really think you should leave before this goes any further. I can't deal with this now. I'm fucking drained and I need some sleep." I explain, my thoughts drifting to Lilah.

"But it doesn't have to be different Justin! Things could go back to the way they were...the way they're supposed to be. If you'd simply give this a chance...you'll see." She says determined, her eyes shining with hope.

Dear god, why me? Why now?

"Jess, stop." I scold her when she grips my hand and pulls the golf club from my grasp, tossing it to the side. "Don't." I warn her again, gritting my teeth.

"It's ok." She murmurs, walking into my embrace and wrapping her arms around my neck to pull me into a hug. "I know you miss me too Justin." She continues and again, I'm just standing there, frozen.

No, she's wrong. She's not the one I'm missing right now. It's not her.

"Jess." I sigh, my hands moving to grip her waist tightly.

"Yes?" She responds in anticipation.

I swallow hard before licking at my dry lips, willing myself to walk away and leave my room now before I do something I'll regret. "I..." I pause when I feel my dick twitch at the fact that Jess's body is pressed firmly against mine. "I...I can't...I'm sorry." I force out, using the grip I have on her waist to push her away until there's enough space between us.

I quickly take a few steps back until I'm standing right next to my door not missing the look of confusion on her face as I do this.

"Wait...what? Justin, what are you doing? I don't understand. I...I thought you loved me." Jess says in bewilderment.

I shake my head, momentarily breaking eye contact with her as I gather my thoughts. "You're right, I did love you...still do. But, Jess, I'm not in love with you...not anymore. And, you're not the one I miss either." I explain.

Her face falls by my words as she shakes her head in protest.

"You don't mean that."

"I do. I thought we talked about this? Jessica, listen to me, we're not getting back together ok? We're not because...because I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry. " I blurt out.

She looks at me, clearly not surprised as her eyes begin to gloss over with unshed tears. "I knew it." She says weakly. "I knew it."

She takes in a deep breath, straightening her posture as she grips onto her towel. "So, who is she? Will I get to meet her?" She inquires and I frown deeply.

Jess wants to meet Lilah? Yeah, like I'll ever allow that to happen.

"I can't talk about this now Jess." I say stubbornly, feeling like shit over the fact that she's on the verge of tears right now.

"Of course." She mutters bitterly.

"I truly am sorry Jess. But, you can't be here right now either." I explain and she gasps. "Listen, I have a call I need to make." I begin, remembering I left my phone downstairs. "I'm going to leave you to get dressed. Make sure that you're done and ready to leave by the time I get back. I mean it Jess. I have shit to do tomorrow, I can't entertain this now. I need to get some rest. Come back tomorrow and we'll sort this out ok?" I try to reason with her.

Not waiting for her reply, I quickly whip around and exit my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I take a few steps before pausing to rest against the wall and take in a deep breath. Exhaling, I slick my fingers through my hair, shutting my eyes tightly to contain my composure.

I had to walk away. I had to. I couldn't do that myself or to Lilah. But fuck it was difficult to do. Even now as I pick up on Jess's faint whimpers, I can't help but realize that she still has some kind of effect on me. I didn't think it was possible since I'm positive I'm over her.

But I guess it's because I still care about her.

Shit, this is not how I wanted things to play out. This is not how I wanted to get my feelings out to Jess. This is only going to cause tension and bitterness between us if she can't accept that I've moved on. Damn it, sometimes I hate my life.

But, fuck it.

I'll deal with this mess later. Now, now I call Lilah to let her know that I'm safe so she doesn't end up calling the airport and cussing them out.

Knowing her, she will if she doesn't hear from me soon.

Forgetting about the fact that my ex is still up in my room right now probably crying her eyes out as she gets dressed, I quickly rush for my phone and flip it open only to see two missed calls from Lilah.

"Shit..." I hiss. I hope she hasn't called the airport yet.

I instantly hit redial before heading into my backyard, the chilly night's air hitting my warm skin and cooling it.

"I thought you died in a car crash or something since the airport said your flight arrived on time."

I chuckle when Lilah's voice filters through the line.

"Glad to know you're concerned about my wellbeing." I cackle.

"Whatever." She giggles. "But you're ok right?" She asks, her voice laced with concern, causing my chuckles to increase.

"See, I knew you cared. I'm fine, in one piece and everything." I joke.

"Good. So how was your flight?"

"It was good. I'm kind of jetlagged though. And I have a long day at the office tomorrow with Trace."

"Damn."

"Tell me about it." I sigh.

"Well, don't let me keep you. Get some rest and I'll talk to you tomorrow." Lilah speaks up.

"I don't mind..." But she cuts me off.

"Go rest Justin. Tomorrow." She coos and I nod even if she can't see me.

"Ok."

"Goodnight."

"Night Lilah." I say softly. "Hey Lilah?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you." I whisper into the line, my grip tightening on the phone pressed against my ear.

"I know." She utters after a brief pause. "Bye Justin."

"Bye."

I end the call and flip my phone shut.

I nearly jump when I hear someone clear their throat from somewhere behind me.

Turning around, I meet Jess's gaze, her face emotionless as she grips her side bag.

"Just letting you know that I'm leaving." She states and I nod, remaining mute. "You don't have to walk me out; I'll lock the door on my way out." I nod again. "Well, uh, goodnight Justin." With that said she turns around and quietly leaves.

I'm wondering why I didn't see her car parked in my driveway when Mike dropped me off earlier, but now that I think about it, she must have parked it in the garage to not spoil her surprise. Huh, well, so much for that.

I guess I'll be changing the security code to my front gate as well so something like this doesn't happen again.

As my eyes adjust to the darkness and I scan my backyard, I can't help but smile...not because I got to hear Lilah's voice over the phone and not because I'm proud of myself that I walked away from Jess. No, I'm smiling right now because I can, because I'm in love and because I'm fully aware that anything could happen to wipe that smile off my face. So I'm not going to take any chances. I'm going to indulge in the happiness I'm feeling and ride it out for as long as possible. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that nothing lasts forever and while I'm going to do everything in my power to discredit that, I'm also going to be prepared if I should fail.

I can only hope for the best, especially when Lilah finally gets sucked into my world, which I know will happen...eventually.

26. Sparks Will Fly...When We Meet Again

August

Over two weeks later...

California

William Rast Headquarters

"We should have gone with the new design for the women's fall WR jacket."

"Well you weren't here when we needed your final input and I couldn't get a hold of you on your cell, so I took the initiative and went with the original design because it was the first one we chose. I've made a lot of decisions this year for the line considering that Henry kid was clueless and you were at his boarding school. Don't worry about it man, it's a done deal."

"Right, but, thinking about it now..."

"Justin, it's too late to change anything. The new line is already in production so it can be shipped out by the end of summer to reach our stores in time."

"I still think we should work on providing the alternative design for online shoppers." I smile hopefully for Trace who looks beyond annoyed with me right now.

"Fine, whatever you want, but you're doing it on your own." He mutters and my smile falls.

"I'm sensing tension." I voice, curving a brow.

Trace rests back in his seat, uninterested as he flips through our latest design portfolio for the new fall line.

We're actually at William Rast's main headquarters right now in our office, working as usual on our clothing line. Well, there really isn't anything else left to do. Everything has been flagged with the green light so by next month, our next task will be to make sure we pull off fashion week in New York with our new fall line. I'll be back at Higher Heights by that time so it works out.

I've spent the last few weeks engrossed in the clothing line and occasionally meeting up with my manager Johnny Wright as well as planning the golf tournament coming up later this year to benefit the Shriner's children hospital in Las Vegas. I'm still not sure how I'll be able to pull off being in two places at once, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. It's been a busy few weeks but that's my life for you. I'm kind of missing the experience of only attending school and getting homework and exams done without having to worry about anything else...

"Dude, are you intentionally ignoring me?" I inquire to Trace who hasn't responded to my last statement.

"What gave it away?" Trace smirks and I scowl at him. He's being really bitchy right now.

"Ok Trace, out with it. What's your problem?" I ask him and he sighs, tossing the binder in his hand aside before he turns to face me at my desk.

"I don't know Justin...it's just, dealing with you these past few weeks, I feel like you're different. In fact, you haven't been the same since you started going to that school. You're distant and your work is suffering but hey, who am I to tell you want takes precedence in your life? I only hope you're changing for the better..." He shrugs, deciding to end his statement and not continue with his thoughts. Wise choice.

"And that gives you the right to give me attitude?" I laugh in disbelief. "T, if you have a problem with me then say so. We're best friends man. This high school drama thing isn't my scene. Trust me, it gets old fast." I voice, remembering my experiences at that boarding school this year.

"I just need you to answer one question truthfully with a simple yes or no and I'll drop it. I don't even have to know what's going on. You don't have to tell me. It's your choice." He explains and why don't I like the sound of that?

"Uh, ok, ok sure, what is it? Anything if you will stop acting all weird with me." I admit, straightening my posture and sitting up before I fix my glasses on my face.

Trace glares at me for a good minute before he speaks up again, his gaze determined as he studies me closely. "Is she worth it?"

"What?" I ask in astonishment, sinking down in my seat. Oh, I wasn't expecting that.

"Delilah...is she worth it? Will she be worth it? You must know the craziness that will erupt when the public finds out about her...not to mention when your mom finds out. I only want to make sure that you know what you're doing, that you're not in over your head. Delilah's a nice girl, I like her, but are you sure pursuing a relationship with her is what's best for the both of you right now? She's graduating soon right? Think about how being your girlfriend could possibly affect her future endeavors. I mean, really think about it Justin. If you think you all can handle it and whatever you all share is worth it, then who am I to try and reason with you or give advice? I'll be right there backing you up dude, but I want to make sure that you're positive about this." Trace explains.

I shake my head in disbelief, my mouth slightly agape as I try to find the right words to say. You know, I can't even be angry at him for telling me this shit because he's right. And, he's always been my voice of reason whenever I got involved with someone. He always asked me if they were worth it. But, for some reason, asking me the same thing about Delilah now is...well it's different...I don't know how yet, but it is.

"I..." Slicking my fingers through my hair I sigh, not understanding why I'm hesitating like this. Maybe it's what Trace said. The way he said it, it's like all I can see are the endless things that could possibly go wrong.

"You uh, you don't have to answer right away." Trace says, giving me a knowing look.

"No you're right. You're right T. And if you must know, yes Lilah's worth it. She's always been...she always will be...because...because I love her, and that's all there is to it." I divulge.

I don't miss the look of shock laced with concern on Trace's face by my admittance since I haven't exactly told him much about what's been going on with me recently.

And I smile smugly at him, shrugging before I return to my work.

For some reason, I get satisfaction in the fact that I can still surprise him considering he knows me so well. What can I say? I like having the upper hand sometimes. And, I'm fully prepared to prove him wrong because I know he's thinking that I'm maybe making a mistake pursuing Lilah as more than a friend.  But he's wrong, and he'll see that...I'll make sure he does.

**

Next Day...

At Justin's Place

"You can't go Justin!"

"But she's expecting me!" I snap back.

"Well she's going to get me so she'll have to deal." Rachel barks while flipping some of her raven hair out of her face.

Ugh! "Goddamn it Rach!"

"Justin, you can't go to the airport dude, you'll get attacked...you know this." Trace tires to reason but I ignore him.

Lilah's coming in today; she's finally coming to visit me on my territory and I have ‘blocker one' and ‘blocker two' preventing me from leaving my damn house. So sure, I didn't tell anyone of the exact day Lilah was coming simply because I knew they'd make a big deal out of it. Having Rachel and Trace over at the time I'm supposed to head to LAX to pick her up doesn't help the situation.

Of course when I was leaving Rachel had to ask where I was going. I simply mumbled that I was going to the airport and the next thing I knew, she and Trace were blocking my path to the front door asking me if I was crazy and all that. I've been trying to get them to let me go ever since. We're getting nowhere.

"I promised Delilah I'd pick her up at the airport today. This is her first time down here. She doesn't know Cali at all and I promised her my face would be the first she saw when she grabbed her luggage and was ready to go. Don't make me break that promise to her." I voice desperately.

"Would you listen to yourself Justin? You're ready to risk your safety to keep your promise to her. My god, what has Delilah done to you?" Rachel asks with a shake of her head, her lips twitching into a smile. "I'm sure she'll forgive you. You can't really think you'll go unnoticed."

Rach has no freaking clue how important it is to keep Lilah's trust and a promise you make to her.

"I have a disguise." I counter with a huff.

"A baseball cap, sunglasses and a hoodie Justin? And how well has that facilitated you in the past?" Trace quips and I glare at him.

"I'll be fine." I groan.

"No fucker. You won't." Trace laughs. "Seriously, you'll get harassed by the paparazzi J. Is that the first experience you want Lilah to have leaving the airport? Think about it dude. I know you're all hyped up and anxious about seeing her, but you're not exactly an everyday Joe who can go unnoticed in public."

"Sometimes, I wish I was." I state with a roll of my eyes, reluctantly handing Rachel my car keys.

"We know, but patience man! You'll see her in due time." Trace reasons and I groan yet again in irritation, waving him off.

"Fine fine! Rachel, you can go to pick her up. Make it quick huh? Her flight lands in a few minutes." I state.

"Right. On my way. We'll be back before you know it." Rachel says enthusiastically before she disappears out the door.

Sighing, I walk away from the front door and head into my kitchen with Trace close behind. I know I'm being irrational about this but it's been over two weeks since I've seen Lilah. Sure, talking to her on the phone for the past few weeks was fine, but it wasn't the same as being around her. I missed her every single day and now I have to wait even longer to see her and greet her. It's not fair I tell you, but whatever.

I mean, she's my girlfriend now right? I'm entitled to bitch, even if I haven't told anybody that little piece of information just yet. Delilah and I spoke about it and we agreed we'd tell my family and friends with her present. We figured it would be best. Now, I'm not so sure that's the best idea but she'll be here soon so there's no turning back now.

"What are you going to tell your mom when she gets back in a few days?" Trace inquires, interrupting my thoughts as I grab a beer out of the refrigerator.

"What do you mean?" I ask, turning to face him as I open the can and take a long swig.

"You know what I mean Justin." Trace smirks when I grimace. "What are you going to tell Lynn when she starts asking you about Delilah? Or when she starts asking Delilah about herself and about the two of you? Think she'll believe you all are only friends? I don't know what you and Delilah are, you're clearly not in a sharing mood where that's concerned, but it's also clear that you all are not only friends."

Swallowing harshly, I lick at my lips, shrugging dismissively. "I don't know. I'll tell my mom the truth I guess."

"Knowing your mom is still fond of and hung up on Jess?  Are you sure that's a good idea?" Trace inquires in slight amusement, implying that I should think of something else to tell my mom rather than the truth...at least for now. Good ole Trace. He's aware of how this could turn out if my mom doesn't approve of Lilah. But then again, I don't see why she shouldn't. I hate lying to my mom.

I've also noticed over the weeks that it's not going to be easy getting rid of Jess completely. She always ends up being...around. I know we have history together but we're over now and when you have an ex who manages to anchor themselves so deep into your family over the years, it's a bitch trying to pull those roots out. Now I understand Lilah's dilemma with Ethan. Only, Jess isn't trying to destroy me in the process.

Remember that miracle I said I'd be working on my mom in the two weeks I had before Lilah showed up? Well, that didn't go over too well. I barely spoke to her since she was so busy and the most that she knows now is that a friend I made at Higher Heights is coming over to visit. She's in Tennessee but she'll be back in a few days. Yes, I'm horrible for not forcing my mom to sit down and listen but I honestly wasn't ready for the scolding I knew would follow. I mean, it's my mom. I know she wants me to be happy and she only has my best interest at heart, but sometimes she gets overprotective and that's when things can get sticky. Now, I have no time left because Lilah is due any minute and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to ease Lilah into my lifestyle, my real life...outside of Higher Heights...without scaring her away.

"So?" Trace asks again when I remain silent, lost in my thoughts.

"I'll figure it out as I go? I don't fucking know Trace, get off my nut sacks for a bit huh?"

Grunting, I walk away from him, taking big gulps of my beer as my nerves finally kick in.

Relentlessly, the annoying little fuck that is my best friend follows me but I ignore him for the most part as my thoughts take over once more.

Damn, I hope Lilah likes my place; I had it cleaned by the maids today specifically for her. I hope she likes the guest bedroom I made up for her too. I'd offer for her to share my room, but I know her, so I'm not even going to make the suggestion. Most importantly, I hope I can make her stay here as comfortable and as fun as possible because I know this is going to be a far leap out of her comfort zone and she's taken that leap specifically for me.

**

Later

"Hey! I'm back! We're here!"

The sound of Rachel's voice causes every muscle in my body to stiffen as I look away from my television screen and in the direction of the front door when it slams shut.

In seconds flat I'm off the couch brushing my palms over my grey cotton sweats and wife beater, a nasty habit I've developed in an attempt to calm myself.

Cautiously, I walk towards the front door while Rachel talks to Lilah quietly, telling her to place her luggage by the door for now.

When I round the corner and they come into my line of sight, I feel my breath hitch in my throat and I'm silently thankful that Trace isn't here to witness my reaction. He left a while ago, stating that he'd be back to hang out.

My eyes slowly travel over Lilah's frame, a smirk pulling at my lips when she bends over to drop the last of her baggage, giving me a perfect view of her round firm behind in her fitted jeans.

My heartbeat picks up speed and I swipe my palms over my face nervously. Shit, why am I so jumpy?

Without thinking, I release a loud sigh, grabbing Rachel and Lilah's attention.

"Hey Jus! See, I brought Delilah here safe and sound and she's not mad or anything. She understands." Rachel teases with a wink, smiling brightly.

"Yeah, Rach, I see that. Thanks." I say, shaking my head with a smile.

My eyes flit in Rachel's direction for a mere second before I focus in on Delilah, my orbs widening when I notice the significant change in her appearance.

"Lilah? Oh my god. What did you do?" I ask in shock and she giggles, rolling her eyes at me playfully.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs..." Rachel speaks up, dropping my car keys on a nearby table before she leaves us alone.

When she's gone, Lilah walks up to me but I take a small step back, still surveying her.

"I wanted a little change. You like it?" Lilah asks me happily and I bite my bottom lip, bringing my hand up to run my fingers through her hair.

She cut her hair. I can't even believe... "You cut your hair." I say like an idiot. "Look at you. I love it." I grin, nodding in approval. It's not cut extremely short; it stops just at the base of her ear, framing the shape of her face perfectly. It's full and soft and she dyed it too. She has raven hair now, but it suits her and her complexion. It definitely makes her gray-brown eyes pop out more due to the color contrast. I can't believe I used to think she was simply average. I'm an idiot. God she's beautiful.

"Good to know." She mocks a serious expression and I chuckle.

"How was your flight? Did you enjoy it?" I question.

I offered to arrange for her to travel on my private jet but she declined. I knew she would, but I still had to put the offer out there. She can be so stubborn.

"Yes, it was fine. There was this one woman and her little boy sitting behind me who wouldn't stop kicking the back of my seat since you know children can't sit still. But then he eventually fell asleep so it was smooth sailing from there."

"See? You should have come on my jet. None of that would have happened. You would have had the cabin all to yourself." I quip but Lilah shakes her head in protest.

"Justin, you're great...you are. But, if you haven't noticed by now, I'm not the kind who likes a guy to pamper and spoil her and waste his wealth on me just because he can. Makes me feel like..."

"Ok stop." I cut her off. "Every woman loves being spoiled; don't deny it. You just need to be spoiled the right way for you to enjoy it and not feel guilty or have any negative feeling towards it." I explain. "And no more arguing about it ok? If I want to do something for you, you'll accept it graciously because if you keep turning me down every time I try, I'm going to feel offended. You don't want that." I say in a warning tone, smiling.

"You're right." Lilah caves, agreeing with me. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to reject your nice gestures. I guess it's still a bit too much to take in. But I'm here so...I'm open to whatever. Oh and Marco, mom and dad says hey! Mom says she's going to hold you to that offer you made about giving her a tour of William Rast."

And I can't stop grinning like an idiot. This is kind of surreal for me for some strange reason.

"Got it. Now, come here." I coo, snaking my arms around Lilah's waist and pulling her into my embrace.

She wraps her arms around my neck and I inhale deeply before I lean down and firmly press my lips against hers, kissing her.

Air rushes out of my lungs and my entire body relaxes as we both deepen the kiss, my chest burning as my heartbeat picks up. Her lips are soft, full and she tastes like cherries. Must be the lip gloss she's wearing. Goddamn I've been dying to do that for weeks now.

It's really bad that I can't take being away from Lilah like this. I don't handle it well either; I get moody and bitchy like some chick a lot quicker when Lilah's not around. But I don't care because I love her. Even if she doesn't love me back the way I love her right now, I'm ok with that because I know her heart is in the right place. She'll get there...

Slowly, reluctantly, I pull away from her, ending our kiss to take in a deep breath.

"Wow Justin. That was some kiss. I see you missed me." Lilah says breathlessly, gripping fistfuls of my wife beater as she looks up at me.

"You have no idea. I was fighting with Rachel and Trace earlier so they'd let me pick you up at the airport." I mention, grinning demurely.

"I know. Rachel told me. I'm glad they stopped you. It would have been nice if you were there, but your safety is more important. You know, especially since I'm sure you were planning to come without Mike." Lilah gives me a disgruntled glare.

I'm pretty sure if I did that she would have cussed me out about it after she greeted me.

"Hello, have you seen Mike? He's a dead giveaway!" I laugh loudly.

"He is huh?" Lilah giggles. "Well, no worries, I'm here now." She beams.

"Finally."

"Yup, finally." She sniggers.

"Let me tell you, at least, all those fights we had about you coming to visit me paid off."

"You finally got to me, finally wore me down." Lilah jokes and I chuckle along with her.

"I knew I would." I say proudly and she huffs.

"Uh huh...don't make me pinch you..."

Then she drifts off, turning away from me, finally taking in her surroundings and I glare at her, absorbing her expressions. "This is...definitely on a whole other spectrum compared to Higher Heights." She mutters in slight awe, looking around. "Justin, you live in a freaking mansion. My house looks like a cardboard box compared to this place. The more time that passes, the more I'm starting to really see you in this celebrity light. And, I've been catching up on your career online too. You're like, everywhere..." Lilah say jokingly, eyeing me and I groan, slightly embarrassed.

There are so many things about me circulating on the internet. I hope she stuck to the clean sites that only focus on my career.

"Yeah, don't believe everything you read though ok? I'll be happy to teach you all you need to know now that you're here. You don't need the internet Lilah. You can ask me anything you know."

"I know. I just thought it would be fun. I like your official website. It's cool." She nods.

"You were on it? Really? Sweet." I beam.

"Uh huh, I like that it's so interactive and focuses on like every single aspect of your career life."

"Hmm, I think when you get settled in you're going to have to update me on how much you've ‘learnt' so far." I say suspiciously but she only giggles and brushes me off.

"Hey, you weren't around. I needed a way to miss you less, so I surfed the net. I went on Youtube, watched some of your music videos and checked out some music sites with you on it." She shrugs and I bite the insides of my cheeks, feeling nervous.

"You missed me a lot huh?" I state cockily.

"I did." She admits, smiling bashfully. "But listening to you sing was soothing so it wasn't so bad."

Great, it's not like I don't expect Lilah to know all there is to know about my life, but, I certainly don't want her vision of me to change in the process.

I still want to be her preppy Justin who annoys her to the ends of the earth even if we both know she loves it. I don't...god, I don't want her to end up tainted by this lifestyle. Most importantly, I don't want her to look at me as this mega superstar or celebrity or any of those things. I want her to see me as Justin, no matter my status. I still want to be just Justin to her where she treats me like any other regular guy. Being like that with her is one of the best feelings in the world to me. I can be myself with her. I don't ever want that to change.

"So, are you going to give me the grand tour?" Lilah smiles, nudging me when I remain silent just looking at her.

"Uh, yeah, of course." I shake my head, gently gripping her hand in mine. "We'll get your luggage later, come on." My smile returns as I lead her into the living room. Nothing can kill the elated feeling I have right now.

"I'm really excited Justin...about being here." Lilah voices and I turn to gaze at her, licking my lips.

"I'm excited too. We're gonna have fun!"

"Yes, and there's also something I have to tell you. But not right now." She adds in softly and I frown in curiosity, my interest peaking as I stare at her.

Before I can ask her what she's talking about, I hear my intercom system for my estate gates buzz.

I cast my vision to the security box mounted unto the wall and I scowl when Trace's voice filters through.

"Justin? Dude! You better be there. Hello? Listen, I've been trying to get in...did you change your pass code?"

My eyes immediately widen and I drop Lilah's hand before rushing over to the device to hit the talk button next to the keypad. "Yeah, Trace? Hey man, sorry about that. I forgot to tell you I changed it recently."

Yes, I changed my locks too...for obvious reasons.

"Ok, well just buzz me in." He voices and I glare at the video monitor before pressing a few buttons on the keypad so the security camera can zoom in for me to get a better look at him in his ride.

"T, is someone with you?" I ask into the speaker and I watch as his head lifts towards the security camera, a guilty look on his face.

"Uh...yes?" He says looking directly into the camera.

"Who?" I inquire.

"Uh..." He hesitates, swiping his hands over his buzz cut before he hits the talk button again on the system mounted up next to the gates. "It's Jess. She called me on my way back over here. She asked if I could pick her up and give her a ride to your place since her friend has her car. She said she thinks she left her jacket by you the last time she was here and her driver's license must be in it since she can't find it anywhere else. She hadn't realized until she got pulled over for speeding." Trace explains, his voice fuzzy over the speaker box.

Well, this is fucking great. Shutting my eyes briefly, I take in a deep breath to calm myself down since I can feel my anger slowly rising. I don't need this shit right now. Slowly, my eyes flutter open and I stare at the keypad, contemplating on leaving Trace's ass outside.

"Uh, Justin? Are you going to let us in?" Trace calls out again when I don't respond.

Not saying another word to him, I hit the button to buzz him in and I watch as the gates slowly open before I look away from the monitor.

"Justin?" I jump slightly when I feel a hand on my back but I quickly sober up and turn around to face Lilah. "I'm sorry I startled you." She voices and I just glare at her. "Are you..are you ok? Was that Trace you were talking to?" She inquires and I nod, swallowing hard.

"Yes, I just buzzed him in."

"Oh!" Her eyes light up. "I've missed hanging out with him. I can't wait to see him." She says eagerly and I fake a smile, my mind running a mile a minute.

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you too." I coincide, tuning Lilah out as my rampant thoughts take over.

I don't want Lilah and Jess to meet, but I can't hide Lilah...I won't. This is exactly what I never wanted to happen, at least not this soon. So what the hell am I going to do? This is going to be so fucking awkward. And, Lilah just got here too; she hasn't even settled in yet! I swear sometimes, Trace can be the dumbest fucking idiot on the planet. He clearly wasn't thinking when he decided to bring Jess over here now of all times. Or, maybe he's not stupid at all. Maybe he knows exactly what he's doing. Either way, I'm pissed at him and I'll make sure that he knows this. Goddamn it!

Then I hear the front door swing open since Rachel clearly didn't lock it when she and Lilah came in earlier.

So much for giving Lilah the grand tour of my estate. I guess that will have to wait.

Seconds later, I hear Trace's voice in the threshold and I don't miss the look of excitement on Lilah's face as she starts walking out of the living room to go and greet him, leaving me alone.

I let her go as I linger behind because I know what's waiting for me when I finally join their little circle. I can't believe I'm wishing this but, I'd much rather be back at Higher Heights dealing with Ethan and Ryan's shit than be here, having to face Jess and Lilah at the same time.  

27. Sparks Will Fly...In Sunny Cali

"Hey Trace! Missed...me?"

The last part of my sentence trails off into a faint murmur as I pause, stopping my advancements when Trace appears into my line of sight with company.

"Oh...um..." I look down, shaking my head to clear my shock before putting on a smile. "Hi."

"Hey? I'm Jess. And you are?"  She extends her hand for me to take.

I bite the corner of my bottom lip as I eye her. Jessica Biel. The actress. Justin's...ex.

"I uh...I'm Delilah." I keep my smile, shaking her hand lightly before pulling away. I turn to look at Trace who seems to be looking everywhere else but at us. On the list of things I expected when coming out here to California on my summer break, meeting Justin's ex was not one of them.

"Nice to meet you Delilah." She gives me a small smile in return as she studies me intently.

Well, this is awkward. She seems nice enough. Then again, I'm sure she doesn't know who I am.

"Likewise." I reply, my smile dropping. I can't do this. I feel out of place for some reason.

"So, how do you know the gang?" Jessica probes and I shift on my feet.

"Actually, I met Justin at Higher Heights boarding school. Of course we all know how he ended up going there." I tell her, shrugging dismissively in the process.

I note how her eyes widen slightly but she simply nods in acknowledgement, her lips pursing.

"Hey Jess, why don't you check upstairs for your stuff so I can drop you back home?" Trace finally interjects and she gives him a peculiar look before excusing herself to quietly head upstairs.

On her way up, Justin appears into view, his blues fixated on Jessica's retreating form.

I look at him, narrowing my eyes a bit before my attention is swayed by Trace.

"Took you long enough to get here." Trace voices and I gaze in his direction, my smile returning.

"So did you miss me?" I ask and he chuckles, pulling me into a tight bear hug.

"You bet I did." He says happily and I giggle in return before we break apart. "How was the flight?"

"Oh you know, it was alright." I voice.

"Good. I hope you came ready to have fun." Trace says enthusiastically as I divert my gaze to Justin who seems to be keeping to himself for the most part as he eyes us.

"I did." I say to Trace, keeping my focus on Justin.

Before any of us can say anything else, I hear Rachel's voice from somewhere upstairs.

She's loud and seems a bit upset as she talks to Jessica.

"Jess what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here right now...oh you're looking for your jacket?"

There's a short pause as Jessica mumbles a response I can quite make out...

"Wait, why on earth would it be in Justin's room?" Rachel asks her.

I notice Justin cringe when Rachel says this before he bows his head slightly as he rubs the back of his neck with one of his hands.

"Uh huh, well come on, I'll help you look so you can leave..." Rachel continues as her voice fades out since she seems to be moving.

I'm not sure what to make of this situation so I decide to ignore it. I just got here right? I'm happy about that. I'm not going to let anything or anyone pull me down.

Justin turns to Trace in that instant with an unpleasant scowl on his face, but he doesn't say anything. He simply glares at Trace.

"I'm sorry man...I thought..." Trace begins but he's interrupted when Jess comes jogging down the stairs with what looks like a jacket in hand.

"Found it!" Jessica beams happily. "Oh hey Justin!" She laughs out before moving towards him. Before Justin can open his mouth to reply, she stands on her tiptoes and gives him a quick hug and peck on the cheek. I can't help but giggle lightly when I notice how Justin's entire body tenses under her hold. Huh, looks like they have some tension between them. Pulling back, Jessica smiles at him, ignoring his obvious uncomfortable stance, then makes her way over to Trace, still keeping her smile. "Ok Trace we can go. I learnt my lesson now to always keep my driver's license and IDs close at all times." Jessica explains giggling.

I curve a brow, folding my arms across my chest when Trace frantically looks between Justin, Jessica and I, his stare apologetic.

"Right uh, well, come on." Trace voices, placing his hand on the small of Jessica's back to lead her out of the front door. "Guys, I'll be back." Trace tells us and I nod.

"Drive safely." I tell him and he gives me a small tight smile in return.

On their way out, Jessica stops in the doorframe to turn around and bid us farewell. "Bye Justin. We'll catch up sometime. Bye Delilah. It was nice meeting you. I'd love to see you again before you leave so we could maybe hang out and you could tell me some more about what it's like going to boarding school." She voices and I shake my head, giving her a polite smile.

"Sure that would be..." I trail, momentarily locking eyes with Justin. His blues are wide and fearful and I'm betting he's hoping I'll decline, but he must not know me by now. "That would be great Jessica. Looking forward to it." I grin for her.

"Awesome!" She says enthusiastically before Trace practically pushes her to walk.

"Ok, ok...let's go. Bye guys." Trace mutters before they're out the door and it slams shut.

When I hear Trace's ride come to life and he moves off, I shrug and whip around, surprised to see that Justin is glowering at me with a displeased expression.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?" I question, feigning innocence. "Cat got your tongue Justin? You haven't spoken in a while." I add in for good measure, noting his frown.

Smirking, Justin shakes his head at me before he moves over to where Rachel and I discarded my luggage earlier. Grabbing a suitcase in each hand, he brushes past me to make his way up the stairs. "Come on troublemaker. Follow me so I can show you to your room before you get the grand tour." He utters.

"He speaks." I giggle, following behind him. "And I'm not a troublemaker." I add in for good measure, though I know exactly why he said that.

Stopping halfway up the flight of stairs, Justin turns around partially to look at me. "This isn't funny. I don't see the humor in this Lilah. I don't fancy my ex and my current girlfriend making a hang out date to get to know each other better." He barks and my head jerks back at his harsh tone.

"Well hey there sour puss. What's the big deal? She seems like a nice person."

"Seems being the operative word here Lilah. Jess could care less about knowing you. Knowing what I've been up to at that school, yeah, she probably cares about that part. You don't know Jess like I do." Justin retorts, curving his brows at me when I roll my eyes.

"I'm sure I don't Justin." I say bitterly and he sucks in his bottom lip, his eyes narrowing.

"Whatever." He relents, turning back around to continue on his journey.

When we make it to the top of the second floor of his home, I pause briefly, taking in the long wide hallway with doors adorning it on either side.

"Don't get mad at me just because I took her up on her offer. It's not like I don't know how to handle myself Justin. Maybe I want to get to know her too. Ever thought about that?" I question as I follow him down the hall, his strides long and quick as he hauls my luggage behind him.

He stops walking abruptly, dropping my luggage before he spins around to glare at me. There's a long pause as we stare at each other before he finally decides to speak, his orbs searching mine. "Then, I should hang out with Ethan when we get back to Higher Heights after summer break. You know, and get to know him better. Maybe I actually want to know him. Ever thought about that?" Justin mocks me, his stare menacing.

I cringe when he says this, his words stinging more than I ever thought possible. "Ok, point taken. You win. I won't hang out with Jessica." I stress, raising my hands in defeat.

Sighing, Justin diverts his attention to the door he's standing in front of. Walking forward, he swings it open and turns to me. "Come on Lilah. Let's get you settled in."

Sadly, I nod and amble towards him, following him into the bedroom.

I quickly scan my surroundings, not surprised to see that this room looks more like a top class hotel suite rather than a guest bedroom in someone's home. It's nice though...still cozy...I like it.

When we're inside, Justin moves to face me, gripping my wrist softly to pull me towards him.

Averting his gaze, I look down at my shoes before he grips my chin and forces me to look up at him.

I gaze into his blues, pouting a bit and he smiles.

"Hey, I'm sorry ok?" He whispers. I look away from him and he groans. "Lilah...baby...hey...look at me." Justin pleads and I lock eyes with him reluctantly. "I'm sorry I said that. I know the jerk is a touchy subject for you." He voices, referring to Ethan. I guess he noticed my change in mood. "But, trust me the same goes for Jess ok? I know you're only trying to be kind given the situation but, don't mess with that. It's you and me right? We've got a long way to go. We don't need outside influences anymore than we have already." Justin explains and I exhale heavily.

"You're right. You are." I agree and his lips curve into a large grin.

"I'm right." He echoes. "I'm wondering how many guys ever got their partner to say that to them." He teases.

"Oh shut it Justin." I giggle and he chuckles before leaning down to press his lips against mine sweetly.

"Mmm..." I moan into the kiss, my hands lifting to grip fistfuls of his wife beater so I can pull him closer.

I think I'm going to love it here...having Justin all to myself...hmm, yeah, this could work out to be great.

Hesitantly, he pulls away from me. "You know we're gonna have plenty of time for that but first..."

"Delilah's going to come with me and take the grand tour while you cool off Justin."

Both Justin and I turn at the sound of Rachel's voice, finding her standing in the doorway of the room glaring at us with a large smile on her face.

Justin laughs with a shake of his head before he creates some space between us and nudges me to go with her.

"Whatever Rach." He groans.

"And, you're gonna call your mom. She just phoned for you when you all were downstairs. I told her I'd have you call her back."

I watch how Justin's demeanor changes drastically by Rachel's words before he looks at me and swallows hard.

Uh, ok?

"Fine. You all go ahead and I'll catch up with you in a few." He voices to us, and I shrug deciding to leave him alone for now as I move over to Rachel.

"Oh and Justin, one more thing..." Rachel begins as we make our exit. "Lynn asked if your friend came yet and that she can't wait to meet him when she gets back." Rachel explains, giving Justin an accusatory glare.

Ok, I'm lost.

Justin growls in annoyance, waving Rachel off.

"I got the message Rach, loud and clear. Go show Lilah around while I give mom a call huh?" He states. "I'll be with you guys in a few."

**

Days Later

In California

"What's with you and that stuff?" I ask as I take a seat on a nearby lounge chair.

"Works wonders as a stress reliever." Trace replies with a shrug. "It's not a habit, you just happen to be around." He quips.

I laugh, eyeing him suspiciously. "Nice excuse."

"I kid you not." He chuckles lightly. "Especially after the hectic year I had managing the fashion line on my own since Justin was M.I.A playing good student at that boarding school of yours. Trust me. I need this relief."

"Justin? A good student?" I snort.

Trace looks at me lazily while taking a long pull of his joint before blowing out the smoke. "Well you know, I use the word loosely."

"Very loosely." I affirm and we both erupt in laughter.

"This is part of why I like you Delilah. You can rag on Justin like Rachel and I do and not feel guilty about it afterwards." Trace snickers and I roll my eyes.

"He's an easy target." I divulge. He really is. "But hey, you should slow down there. Your eyes are beet red Trace. Gosh, are you high?" I giggle.

"Damn straight." He nods and I shake my head at him. "You want?" He asks, stretching his hand out for me to take the joint sitting between his thumb and index finger.

"No, I'll pass this time." I decline and he shrugs before taking another pull.

"Suit yourself." He blows out smoke, releasing a light yawn before laying back.

I get more comfortable myself, staring at the small ripples in the pool caused by the wind.

It's late afternoon now. I just got in a while ago with Justin after he took me golfing with him this morning. I don't get the excitement of the game golf, but he loves it so I can't complain much granted I got to see him play.

I've been out here in California for a few days now and so far, I'm not regretting my choice of coming to visit Justin on his turf. I miss my family and home yeah, but this place has been a great distraction from my normal routines. It's nice down here, mostly sunny since it's summertime and so far, Rachel, Trace and Justin have made my stay here as comfortable as possible. Rachel and I actually went shopping yesterday. Though I didn't buy much, it was nice getting to see all the hot shopping spots in Hollywood and Beverly Hills. We had a blast and it was just us girls which was a nice change from being around Justin and Trace all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I love the guys...Trace is slowly becoming one of my favorite persons, but I feel like since I've been out here, Justin is...well...he's different. I mean, he's still Justin, but it almost seems like he's afraid to really be himself around me considering I'm in his territory and all. I mean, just the other day, he mentioned that he was going down to the studio to meet up with some producer and you know, I've never been inside a music studio before so I thought it would have been cool to get to witness him do what he loves, what made him the celebrity he is today. Only, when I asked if I could tag along, he nearly had a fit and flat out declined saying that I didn't want to be bored with that stuff when I could hang with Trace and Rachel for the day and find something fun to do. I didn't really think anything of it but I'm starting to wonder what his deal is. He was all up for me to get to know the other side of him right? The side of him that involves his career and his superstar life. So why do I feel like he's preventing me from knowing that part of him now? What's he afraid of?

"This is why it's good to get high." Trace interrupts my thoughts. "It forces you not to think as much. Ironically, it also tricks you into thinking you're much smarter than you really are. You look more gone than I feel right now." Trace chuckles and I sigh, forcing a smile as I look at him.

"Sorry, I spaced out." I lament.

"I can see that..." Seating up, Trace turns around to face me, giving me the best serious face he can muster up under his highness. "You should just tell him." He says firmly and I frown, not comprehending.

"You've lost me Trace." I giggle.

"Justin..." He drifts, taking another puff, finishing off his joint.

"What about Justin?" I ask skeptically.

"You should just tell him you're in love with him. It would release a load of tension between you two considering he's walking on pins and needles around here because of you, afraid he'll do something wrong or you'll witness something about his life that will taint your perfect little vision of him." Trace explains and I scowl deeply.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I voice stubbornly, my mind now riling with this bit of information. "My vision of Justin is not perfect...he's not perfect...no one is. I'm not expecting anything from him...he doesn't have to live up to some ideal image for me or..."

"Then you should tell him that, because I don't think he knows for sure. Clearly, he's afraid you'll look at him and think of him differently where his celebrity status is concerned. Considering the guy you met at that boarding school was him without the glitz and glamour behind his name, which really is his life on a regular, even surrounded by his close family and friends...no matter what. He's still Justin Timberlake. The thing about family and friends is, with us, he can forget that little fact. With you...he can't...not when it involves a romantic link. Because when you're his girlfriend, you're in the limelight as well and there's no getting away from it...the constant speculation about your relationship, the gossip."

You know, Trace has a point.

"I guess I never thought about it like that before." I admit.

"If you tell him how you feel, if he knows you love him for sure and that he has nothing to worry about, he won't be so anal about the whole idea of you being sucked into his life. He won't be worried about scaring you away. He makes it seem like it's no big deal, but he's probably silently freaking out about it. Mainly because he's so into you. It's who he is." Trace explains.

"And Justin told you this?" I ask him, wondering if I'm even supposed to know this.

"Not in so many words. But, hey, he's my best friend. I know him." Trace states and I nod in understanding.

"Right, but..." And Trace cuts me off.

"I may not know you that well Delilah, but I can see how you really feel about him. Point is, Justin's too blind and sometimes, too preoccupied or self-absorbed to notice."

"Am I that transparent?" I blush massively, ducking my head when Trace gives me a sly grin.

"No. I just made it my point of duty to notice you considering you've pulled my best friend under your spell."

"Huh...well, thanks for the talk I guess." I say, standing to head inside in search of Justin.

"I'll catch you later..." Trace drawls, shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply as he waves me off.

Being high sure makes him mellow.

If Justin is really on edge like Trace says, then that would explain his odd behavior these past few days. If that's the case, maybe I do need to do something to ease his worries.

When I make my way inside, I'm surprised to see Justin sprawled out on his living room couch with his head resting on the armrest as he lies on his back with a book in his grasp.

As I get closer, my eyes focus in on the cover of the book which reads ‘Higher Heights Fall Academic Catalogue.'

"Justin? What are you up to?" I question, moving around the couch to face him.

His blues flit in my direction, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips before his vision is back on whatever he's reading.

"I could ask you the same thing." He jokes.

"Oh, I was out by the pool with Trace just now but I left him in peace to enjoy his high." I giggle.

"Huh, I hope you didn't join him." Justin warns.

"Nope. I'm sober." I giggle.

"Good." He chortles. "Well I was uh, trying to figure out what classes I'm going to take when we get back to school. I was thinking about taking up one of your art classes just so we'd be in a class together you know, but I can't find any that I qualify for since they're all advanced classes for your last semester." He explains. "So, I guess I'll try my luck with English." He voices.

I smirk when I notice that he has a pen in hand, no doubt probably underlining his class options for the new semester.

"Uh huh. Someone's loving school now." I point out and he finally closes the book before tossing it and his pen unto the floor next to the couch.

"Not really. But, it's a good getaway. I'm kind of looking forward to us being back at that place." He admits, smiling at me. "Even if that school is like a prison." He jokes.

"Can't wait to get away from here right?" I ask cautiously.

Gazing at me, a light frown adorns his face. "Lilah, anywhere I go, with you there as well, is a good getaway."

"But I'm here now...with you." I counter.

"That doesn't count. We're at my home. It's not a getaway if you're at home where your regular life is."

"Ah, so you like the idea of Higher Heights now because it takes you away from your regular lifestyle."

"At first I hated it. But, it's still an escape you know? Plus, I get to hang out with you and annoy you on a regular basis." Justin chuckles and I giggle along with him before he sits up and allows me to take a seat next to him on the couch.

"I see, but, Justin, Higher Heights is only temporary." I point out, reading his expressions.

He gives me a stoic glare. "I know that Lilah."

"So, have you given any thought to what happens after the semester and graduation is over and the year is done?" I question.

He shifts in his seat, his vision dropping to his lap before he grips my hand in his and starts tracing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb mindlessly.

"No." He simply states.

"Ok." I reply, remaining quiet as I bring up my feet under me and rest my head on his shoulder. He responds by snaking his arm over my shoulders to pull me into his embrace.

We stay like that for a while, silently enjoying each other's company as we sit cozily on his couch before he decides to speak again.

"Are you hungry? I could order takeout for us." Justin offers and I nod from where I'm snuggled up against him.

"I could eat." I yawn lazily.

"Cool."

When he makes an attempt to move, I stop him.

"Before you do that, I have something I need to tell you...what I mentioned I had to tell you when I arrived a few days ago." I point out.

I don't miss how he tenses slightly by my words. "Go ahead." He says softly.

"There really is no easy or simple way to say this." I voice, turning my head to look up at him. "No matter how I look at it, or how I try to rationalize it, the point is, everything you've ever said to me led me to realize this, to realize that all you've even been was real with me because you cared and still do. And, I owe it to myself and to you to be the same...straight forward, no jokes, no avoiding the truth or pushing shit away just because I'm afraid to deal. So, I'm just going to say it ok?" I explain nervously and he nods, swallowing harshly as he looks at me expectantly.

Not able to hold back anymore, I break out into a large smile, my actions confusing him.

"I just want you to know that...somewhere along the way of us knowing each other and driving each other crazy, I've managed to genuinely care about you. In fact, as much as I was against us ever getting close at the start, I'm glad we did eventually. If you had given up on me and didn't stick around, I wouldn't have been able to be here with you right now or tell you that I actually love you even though you really do get on my nerves sometimes. The crazy thing is, what scared me the most, was how easy the idea of loving you seemed to be. After spending so much time avoiding people and protecting my emotions, you came along and changed everything..."

My words are cut short when Justin leans down and presses his lips to mine briefly before he pulls away.

His blues connect to my gray-browns as he gives me a light squeeze from where he's holding me.

I inhale deeply because I really just spilled all those words out in one breath.

"Sorry, you were rambling." He shrugs and I smile shyly. "So, you love me." He states in a whisper, his voice shaky. "Like, for real...no bullshitting."

"Yes Justin, I love you. It didn't take me long to figure out once I decided to sort out my feelings. I guess I didn't address my feelings sooner because I was afraid of what I might find out." I smile.

"Are you afraid now?" He inquires, his expression serious.

"Who wouldn't be when openly loving someone makes you vulnerable?" I point out.

"I know..." He trails, his blues darting around before they're back on me. "I'm scared shitless." He admits softly.

"We'll be ok." I assure him and he nods, still staring at me, but that's the only response I receive from him.

"I should maybe return the favor and ask why."

"Why what? Why do I love you?" I inquire with arched brows, quoting him, and that's when he finally breaks out into a large grin. He's doing this on purpose, to tease me.

"Uh huh...finally came to your senses." He murmurs jokingly and I giggle contently.

It's funny but this is probably the first time since I've known him that I can't fully distinguish what he's possibly thinking and feeling. Usually, he gives me enough to interpret what emotion he's trying to get across but now, even with him smiling, I'm not sure what's really going on with him in the feelings department.

"Well, because Justin, why not?"  I voice smartly and he chuckles.

28. The Beginning of Change

August

In California

"I'm getting the vanilla."

"Ok then I want chocolate." I reply smartly.

"Are you trying to imply something Justin?"

"Are you?"

"I am. Vanilla is awesome!"

"Uh huh, I bet it is. After all, you have a live version of it to enjoy." I refer to myself, grinning cockily.

"Don't be a smartass Justin!" Lilah giggles, pinching my arm.

"Ouch! Lilah!" I groan, rubbing the sore spot as I narrow my eyes at her.

"You asked for it."

"Whatever, are we almost done?" I whine, watching her pull a carton of vanilla and chocolate ice cream out of the freezer in the supermarket.

"Yes Mr. impatient. Take it easy geez." She laughs but I just glare at her with a sigh.

I don't know what possessed me to go along with this crazy scheme she had of going grocery shopping in broad daylight without Mike...just the two of us...in LA of all places. In my defense, the woman makes me do crazy things just like she drives me insane. It's a full package deal with her. It's irresponsible and unsafe, but the thrill of getting spotted is seriously the cause of the adrenaline rush I'm feeling right now as I look around us while pulling down the bill of my cap over my eyes. Lilah is completely oblivious to the glances and stares we've been receiving since we got here. She's really not used to this life. Ugh, god, on my list of stupid things I've done recently, this takes the cake.

How in the world did I make her talk me into this to the point where we drove down here to the supermarket?

"So, what do you say we head down to the supermarket and restock? We're kind of running low on supplies and I kind of feel like cooking something." Lilah suggests and I curve a brow at her in interest. "What? I do want to cook Justin. No one has to know. And we won't have to be waiting on anyone to drag this out. I know how you are about being out in public, but, we could be in and out in a flash, and then...." She pauses as her fingers run down my chest seductively. "We'll have the rest of the day to do whatever you want." I eye her suspiciously and she simply smiles. "Whatever you want Justin." She says suggestively in a faint murmur before planting her lips against mine and my eyes instantly widen in realization.

The speed I grabbed her hand and grabbed the car keys off the table after that all happened so fast, it's still a blur.

All I know is, now, I'm nervous. We need to leave this place before anyone recognizes me to the point where they can't simply ignore my presence and then does something noticeable like approach me.

"Come on woman, speed it up!" I say impatiently, glaring at the half-full shopping cart of groceries.

"Ok, ok, damn Justin. I'm done, let's go." Lilah mumbles, looking over the shopping list she prepared on our drive here.

Biting the corner of my mouth to suppress my smile, I look at her, a warm feeling building in my chest at how this is so cliché but still cute that we're out shopping together like a real couple.

Had anyone told me months ago we'd be in this exact position, I would have laughed in their face and suggested they saw a shrink.

It's funny how time changes everything.

But, after Lilah told me how she felt about me in her rambling, I have faith that we might be able to make this work.

I mean, she wouldn't have said she loved me if she didn't mean it right? Even though I had my doubts when she said it, I believe her, and I know how she feels. I'd be blind to not see it staring me in the face. But, strangely, that still doesn't set me at ease. This is going to seem horrible of me, but she's still Delilah you know? She's notorious for being hot and cold at the most unexpected times and I just hope, for the sake of my sanity and heart, that I'm not making a huge mistake with her and this whole crossing from friends into a serious relationship thing.

"Do you want to go half-half on the bill since I'll be eating up your food as well?" Lilah questions as we make our way over to one of the cashiers.

"Na, I've got it covered." I smile for her while helping her to unload the groceries to be scanned.

"Are you sure, because I don't want to feel like..."

"Delilah." I scold her, immediately cutting her off. "You're a guest in my home...not to mention my girl..." But I pause when I notice the cashier snap her head in my direction, her pale green eyes searching my blues in curiosity. She doesn't say anything. She simply looks at me before continuing her task at hand of scanning our groceries. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I sigh. "It's perfectly fine Lilah." I finally conclude.

"Ok." She relents, remaining silent as we finish removing all the groceries from the shopping cart.

Straightening my posture, I pull out my wallet and dig in it for one of my credit cards.

I look on as Lilah swiftly places the bagged groceries back in the shopping cart as I get ready to hand the cashier my card.

"So, are you and Jessica Biel still together?"

My eyes immediately cut to the young woman who accepts my credit card with a small shy smile on her face.

I notice Lilah eye her strangely, but simply ignores her for the most part as she loads the last of the bags.

"Excuse me?" I scowl at the woman.

"Well, you know, I know you're doing this reality thing at that school in New York, but there hasn't really been much out there about you except that one interview you did some time back at the school. Nowhere really says that you two have broken up officially, but, I did remember the reporter mentioning your friend's name here in the interview." The cashier explains, pointing in Lilah's direction.

Oh no. I notice the death stare Lilah shoots the young woman and I'd maybe be livid right now if I wasn't afraid of Lilah going off on her.

"How about you mind your fucking business and finish with us so we can leave?" Lilah snaps back in a low growl which I actually find kind of sexy.

The cashier's eyes widen in offence as she swipes my card and hands it back to me, ringing us up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...look it was just a question; I was only curious." The woman apologizes.

Snorting, Lilah huffs getting ready to leave. "Sweetie, ever heard that curiosity kills?"

Oh shit, ok we need to go. Lilah may not know this, but she needs to be super careful with what she says. This woman could easily twist her words and say Lilah threatened her life or something to cash in on us. Shit.

"Lilah." I say gently in a warning tone and she turns to give me a look before rolling her eyes and walking away, pushing the shopping cart out.

The cashier quickly hands me my receipt after I sign and I put it in my wallet before stuffing everything in my jeans pocket. "Thanks." I mutter.

"I'm sorry if I offended your girlfriend; I didn't know." The cashier apologizes. "I'm a fan and I was just wondering." She shrugs helplessly and I pause to look at her.

"She's n..." I hesitate. I don't want to say Lilah is my girlfriend and have it plastered on every tabloid magazine by tomorrow because I don't think she's ready for that kind of attention, but, I also don't want to deny it either. "Let's just forget this happened ok?" I say firmly and the young woman nods, looking ashamed.

Sighing, I quickly make my exit, surprised to see that Lilah already loaded in the grocery bags and is now in the passenger seat waiting for me.

I hop into the driver's side and she hands me the keys before I fasten my seatbelt and bring the ride to life and dig out of the parking lot.

The silence is deafening as we ride home until Lilah finally decides to speak. I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything.

"Does this happen on a regular?" She asks me and I steal a glance at her as I drive up the familiar street to my home.

"What?" I inquire.

"Random people coming up to you and talking to you like they've known you their whole life, thinking they're entitled to your personal business."

I have to laugh at that.

"Kind of yeah. Comes with the territory." I simply state and she nods.

"So, how bad does it get?" She inquires in a softer tone. My palms tighten around the steering wheel as we near my estate. "You know, just so I know what I'm dealing with."

"It can get really bad, especially with the paparazzi and a large number of screaming fans involved. It can also be dangerous hence the whole reason for bodyguards, but, I'm confident that my teen-crazy-boy-band-mauling-days are over. I still need the protection, but it was ridiculous when I was in N'sync. I think the cool thing is that my fans have matured with me over the years so, it's not as bad as it used to be. I mean, if this were years ago when I was in the group, we would have never even gotten a chance to enter that supermarket and more importantly, we would not have been without protection." I explain to her, hoping that will reassure her some.

"That sounds horrible." She laughs lightly.

"Small price to pay." I chuckle, stopping the ride to punch in the code for my gates before we head down the driveway.

The moment I park, I notice Trace and Rachel exiting the house, Rachel with a worried expression on her face and Trace with a displeased one. Uh, ok what's going on?

"Hey guys." I exit the ride as they walk up to the car, Rachel moving over to Lilah's side to help her with the grocery bags.

"Dude, we thought you were kidnapped." Trace says jokingly though he still looks kind of upset.

"We just went out to do some last minute shopping." I shrug, stuffing my keys in my pocket. "It's all good. We came back in one piece."

"You're lucky. And you picked a bad time. Mike was just here. He nearly had a fit when we told him you and Lilah went out since your car was gone."

"Well why'd you tell him that for?!" I snap at Trace and he rolls his eyes at me. Next time I see Mike, he's going to bitch. He always does when I do shit like this.

"What else was I supposed to say Justin? He was dropping off your mom after picking her up at the airport because her son forgot that was his job to do."

I can feel my neck heat up as I swallow harshly. Shit. Fuck, I completely forgot that was today. I was so caught up with Lilah and the fact that she was being all naughty and teasing me before we hightailed to the supermarket, my mom never crossed my mind. Oh my god, I'm horrible.

"Shit, I totally spaced on that man." I say apologetically.

"Don't tell me, tell your mom who's been asking where you are since she got here to which no one could give her a definite answer." Trace says, a now sympathetic smile on his face.

"Fuck." I grumble.

"Guys, a little help would be nice." I hear Rachel mutter and I turn to see her and Lilah with their hands full of bags. "Just like men to leave the women to do all the work." She adds in, sticking her tongue out at us when Trace flips her off.

"We're coming." He laughs out before switching his attention back to me.

"T..." But he cuts me off.

"Lynn is under the impression that your friend who's visiting you from that boarding school in a guy. Seriously Justin, I don't know what's going on, but you better come up with a way to fix it and fast. It took a while for me to figure out who she was talking about when she kept asking but was using the masculine terms of he and him." Trace explains.

"It's fine. It'll be fine." I lie and Trace pats my shoulder before heading over to help the women.

He offers to help Lilah, taking all the bags from her grasp before he and Rachel make their way back inside. I don't miss the look Rachel shoots my way on their journey inside and I cringe, pondering on if I'm ready to face my mom just yet.

I know this looks bad and I can only imagine what my mom will think when she realizes I've lied to her. Not to mention what Lilah would think of me. It's not my fault it's just...my mom, she may be nice and warmhearted but she's also cautious with trusting people and letting them in. If I tell her Lilah and I met at that boarding school, I can just hear the endless never-ending lecture that will follow. I love my mom, but when she scolds me like I'm some kid and I should have known better, I feel like shit. I don't like that feeling. More importantly, the last thing I want her to do is disapprove of Lilah without really knowing her, which in itself will be one hell of a task. Getting Lilah to open up to me took like half a year to accomplish. I'm not sure that my family will ever know her the way I do.

I see no win. All I see is an epic fail on all ends when my mom finds out about her. Maybe I'll be lucky and mom will be in a good mood but judging by the fact that I forgot to pick her up at the airport, I'd say my luck is slim to none.

"You coming Jus?" Lilah questions and I nod dumbly, rushing up to help her with the last of the bags as we make our way inside.

****

I think I might have actually had some luck on my side.

Granted my mother has spent the last few hours since we got in studying Lilah silently, she hasn't yet called me out on the fact that I lied to her about Lilah.

Rachel and Trace long left me to fend for myself by disappearing to some other part of the house. Wonderful how they have my back huh?

I noticed the shock on my mom's face when I introduced Lilah to her earlier, since Lilah's clearly not a guy like I led her to believe, but she quickly brushed it off and insisted that Lilah told her all about herself and Higher Heights. For anyone on the outside looking in, they'd say Lilah and my mom were really hitting it off.

I know better. My mother is still trying to get a feel for her and Lilah looks like she's just about ready to pass out by my mother's endless questions and speculation about her. She's long pulled into her shell, but my mom doesn't know that and doesn't realize she won't get much out of Lilah this way.

Still, I'm glad the distraction has prevented my mom from targeting me because at some point she will. She forgave me for the airport thing so at least I'm off the hook for that.

"Justin said the school was strict but I had no idea. After hearing your experience these past years, I can imagine. At least, it's top in academics and sports so I'm sure there'll be no problem when you're ready to start your career." My mom voices and Lilah smiles, nodding lightly.

"I'm used to it." Lilah shrugs, stealing glances at me.

I smirk, lifting my spoon of chocolate ice cream and shoving it into my mouth, cleaning the spoon off as I relish in the cold, sweet taste.

"Good. So tell me Delilah, a beautiful young lady like yourself, you must have the boys in that school going crazy over you." My mother jokes and I inhale sharply, dropping my spoon in my bowl when I begin coughing vigorously.

"Damn." I wince, trying to clear my airways since I practically inhaled the damn ice cream I was eating.

"You ok sweetie?" My mom asks out of concern and I nod, waving her off as I stand to my feet.

"I'm fine." I mutter and Lilah looks at me with pleading eyes, begging me to bail her out.

I laugh softly when my mom turns her attention back to Lilah.

"Uh mom, you must be really tired from that flight. You sure you don't want to go up and take a nap and then we can continue catching up later? Lilah and I were planning on cooking dinner. We should probably get started." I voice, eyeing my mother closely.

She gives me a disbelieving look but quickly relents when she reads my expressions. She knows what she's doing and she knows I don't like it.

"Ok, sorry." She raises her hand in defeat, standing and pulling Lilah up with her to give her a light hug. "It's nice meeting you hun. We'll talk some more later."

"Nice meeting you too Mrs. Harless." Lilah says politely and my mom nods, giving her a warm smile.

My mom walks over to me, stopping in front me, looking at me where I'm standing still eating my ice cream.

"I'll talk to you later Justin." My mom voices, curving her brows at me and I bite down on the spoon in my mouth, shaking my head in response before she pats me on the arm and excuses herself to head upstairs to her room.

When she's gone, Lilah releases a sigh of relief and I smile at her as I finish off my ice cream with a goofy grin on my face.

I gaze into Lilah's gray-browns as I slowly and thoroughly lick my spoon clean before dropping it in the bowl which causes it to make a clinging sound.

I note how she swallows hard, narrowing her eyes at me and I wink for her before heading into the kitchen.

She follows close behind then rests against the island as I drop my bowl in the sink and turn to face her.

"So that wasn't so bad right?" I question, folding my arms across my chest.

"I guess." She says softly, bowing her head and brushing some hair out of her face.

"If you don't want me to tell her about us, I won't." I voice and Lilah's head snaps up in my direction.

"But she's your mom Justin."

"Yes, but no matter what she'll always be there. With you...I know we're together but I can never tell with you if I might say or do something that will scare you away. And I don't want that, not when we're just getting the hang of things." I admit.

"I'm not going anywhere." Lilah says after a long pause.

"Yeah, maybe not now..."

"We don't know what the future holds Justin."

"True. Look, let's not worry about it ok? You still have some time left and a birthday coming up very soon. We have to make the best of the days you have left here with me." I point out.

"Oh god. My birthday." She groans and I grin like an idiot. "I had forgotten all about that."

"I get to call you old now." I chuckle and she giggles.

"You're still older." Lilah retorts and I pout playfully. "Just promise me you're not going to make a big deal out of this Justin. It's cool that I'll be spending my birthday with you this year but..."

"I don't make promises I can't keep." I reply smartly causing her to groan.

"Justin!" Lilah whines and I laugh yet again.

"Nope. Sorry babe. I will promise you though that you'll finally be getting that gift I got for you." I point out and she eyes me. "It'll be your birthday gift now." I add in and she glowers at me.

"Nice."

"Uh huh."

"So, what are we cooking?" Lilah perks up, moving over to the refrigerator.

"I don't know." I shrug, walking up behind her and wrapping my arms tightly around her waist. I lean down, resting my chin on her shoulder as I gaze into the stocked fridge with a comical smile on my face. "Ever realize when people want something to eat but don't know what, they open the refrigerator and just stand in front of it?" I chortle.

I'm met with Lilah's soft addicting giggles soon after, her entire body vibrating against mine and I inhale deeply, giving her a light squeeze as my eyes flutter shut momentarily. God I love this woman. It's freakishly scary how I've fallen for her and how deep my feelings go. I really couldn't control it. It just happened. Tilting my head to the side, I place soft kisses on her neck which makes her squirm in my hold.

"Justin..."

"You promised we'd do whatever I wanted when we got back." I whisper, smiling against her skin as my lips remain connected to the soft flesh of her neck.

I can feel her relax in my hold as she sinks back, her fingers skimming my arms around her waist.

"But your mom is here. I mean, I didn't even know she was coming. That was...I don't think now is the right time."

She's right but I can't help but groan as my eyes pop open, my blues scanning the fridge one last time before I pull away and turn Lilah around to face me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know how you get around people you're not comfortable with." I point out.

"It's ok." She assures, but somehow I don't believe her.

"You sure?" I question.

"Yes." She smiles.

"Ok, then seal it with a kiss." I chuckle and her smile remains as she leans up on her tiptoes to kiss me sweetly. I gladly accept the gesture, my palms cupping her cheeks as my tongue snakes out to brush against hers.

Before we can get too carried away we're interrupted by Lilah's shrilling cell phone.

Grunting, I pull away from her, my eyes traveling over her perky breasts in her blue top and down to her jeans as she digs in her pocket for the device.

Rooting the phone out, she hits the talk button and speaker button by accident and I hear what sounds like a run dmc track playing in the background.

"Lilah? Hello?"

Lilah cringes when our silent surrounding is filled with a very familiar voice.

"Shit." She groans, still keeping the phone on speaker as she glares at it.

"Lilah, I know you're there. I just heard you say ‘shit.'" The person quips.

I can't help but roll my eyes as I make some space between us, reading Lilah's expressions.

"What do you want Ethan? Why are you calling me?" She barks harshly.

"I need to talk to you." He states.

"We have nothing to talk about..." She begins but he interrupts her.

"Lilah please, what would it hurt to just listen to me for a minute or two?" He pleads and I lock eyes with her.

"Your ringtone for him is ‘Take a bow' by Rihanna?" I whisper to her so he won't hear me, a stupid grin on my face. I know damn well that's not her default ringtone.

She giggles with a shrug and I huff lightly. "I'll leave you to talk to him. When you're done, I'll be in the living room." I tell her and she nods hesitantly before I move to make my exit.

The moment I exit the kitchen and enter the living room I'm nearly knocked down by Trace.

"Dude!" I chuckle.

"Oh, I was just coming to look for you." Trace laughs. "Where's Lilah?" He asks me wearily.

"In the kitchen. Why?"

"Is she going to be in there for a while?" He inquires in a low voice.

Frowning at my best friend, I shrug. "Maybe."

"Ok; come with me." He whispers and my scowl deepens.

"Trace, what's with the stealth-like secrecy shit? What's going on man?" I laugh out as he drags me further into the living room and towards the PC.

"Just shut up and hurry. I don't want Lilah to see this and I'm sure you won't want her to see it either."

"Uh ok?"

When we make it to the computer he plops down in a chair and I stand to the side staring at the screen.

"What are we looking at?" I question.

"You remember that little grocery trip you and Lilah took earlier today? Well, check this out." Trace voices, scrolling up to the top of whatever article he was reading. When he scrolls to the top, I realize that he's on TMZ.com, the ultimate celebrity gossip website in probably the world.

Those people are...gosh, they're relentless.

Trace enjoys checking the site out because according to him it's hilarious and good entertainment.

"What is this shit?" I question, frowning when I notice an entire album of photos dedicated to me and Lilah's supermarket trip.

"This was bound to happen eventually right? But you should have been more careful Justin." Trace voices.

My eyes narrow when I read the headline in big bold black print: Justin Timberlake's New Boarding School Fling.

"This is fucking ridiculous." I mutter, folding my arms across my chest defiantly when Trace begins reading the short article to me.

"Looks like Justin Timberlake is doing more than just studying at Higher Heights boarding school. Or maybe his subject of choice isn't on the syllabus. We haven't seen much of the multi-talented superstar this year so you can bet we were thrilled to obtain these photos of JT out and about. Of course we don't care about the fact that he was grocery shopping...we all do that...whatever. What we do care about is the fact that Justin wasn't with Jessica Biel, his last reported girlfriend and Hollywood starlet, but with someone else. No one seems to know who this mystery woman is. We're led to believe though that his mystery woman is from the same school Justin got sucked into attending after the challenge was issued to him on live television late last year. Hmm, we'll definitely be looking into this further but for now we can say that pretty boy Timberlake must be charming the ladies at that boarding school, possibly having fun with those extracurricular activities..."

I place my hand on Trace's shoulder for him to stop reading. I've heard enough, and I think I just heard Lilah's voice nearby but I can't be sure. It's quiet again.

Trace turns to face me in his seat and I exhale slowly.

"Any ideas how you're going to handle this?" He asks.

"Those fuckers wasted no time." I growl angrily. "Don't worry, Johnny will deal with it when he finds out."

Seriously, not even a day has passed. I guess that's why they're the best as what they do. Fucking paparazzi. I didn't even notice them at that blasted supermarket which means they were maybe laying low to not scare me away so they could get their shots. Whenever they want to know shit, that's when they're all up in your face. Obviously, it won't take them long now to start hounding me and Lilah, I just know it.

"So..." Trace drawls but I silence him when I hear Lilah's voice again. She sounds closer this time and it sounds like she's still on the phone but coming in our general direction.

Panic sets in and I quickly lean over Trace to close the browser window before she can come in here and see what we're up to.

I eye Trace thoroughly, biting my bottom lip lightly before I say what he's probably expecting me to say since there's a knowing look on his face.

"Don't tell her." I utter. "Please."

"Right. That'll sure turn over well." He says sarcastically in response just as Lilah rounds the corner to join us in the living room while turning off her cell phone.

I watch the device in her hand, a pang of jealously taking over me and I move to take a seat on the couch then grab the remote.

"Hey guys. So, who's up for some of my mom's famous lasagna?" Lilah speaks cheerily and I eye Trace before looking at her, not saying a word.

Is there some reason why her spirit is lifted after talking to Ethan when she should be upset and pensive right now? I know I should be glad she's not upset but let's be real here. The guy's a top class jerk. I can't figure for the life of me what he could have possibly said to her to keep her in a good mood after ending that call.

When Trace sees that I have no intention of giving her a reply because I'm full out pissed off now, he sighs and stands before approaching her to cover for me.

"We could eat. Come on, I'll help you in the kitchen." He drawls, giving Lilah no time to protest as I look at her from the corner of my eyes.

She's glaring at me oddly, maybe wondering what's up with my sudden change in mood.

But, she doesn't say anything else in return. She simply caves and allows Trace to haul her away as I switch on my television and pout like a little kid because I just know my life's about to get crazy and possibly go down a road I don't want it to yet again.

This is only the beginning. This always happens to me when I have a new woman in my life. I can't have any semblance of peace or normalcy for an extended period of time. I have to wonder now if being a celebrity is worth putting up with this shit.

29. Birthday Surprise

Part 1

August

LA, California

"Trace if you don't tell me what's going on I'm going to hit you." I cough back a laugh.

"If I tell you what's going on Lilah, Justin will hit me. Either way I lose." Trace fakes a pout as he hauls me along with him into yet another store.

We're in LA at one of the many shopping malls on my birthday no less looking for god knows what. Trace won't tell me and this is maybe the tenth store we've been in, in the last fifteen minutes. Yes, today is my birthday. No I don't like dwelling on it. I mean, come on, who really enjoys getting older? Sure, when you hit the milestones like sixteen, eighteen and twenty-one you couldn't be happier but after that what's the big deal?  I know I sound like a spoilt sport but I'm sure I'm not the only person who thinks that way.

I guess part of my issue with my birthday is family and Ethan related. My family spent my last few birthdays trying to make me forget about Ethan and Ethan always had some crazy surprise up his sleeve back when we were together. But whatever...I'm not going to focus on that, or on the fact that he called me some odd days ago. I'll deal with all of that when I get back to Higher Heights. Right now, I'm about to trip Trace if he doesn't stop dragging me all over the place.

"Trace!" I wail, stopping dead in my tracks and pulling myself out of his grasp.

He jerks forward before turning to look at me with accusing eyes. "We're almost done...hang on." He mutters before leaving me and going over to one of the sales people who, judging by the look on her face, knows exactly who he is.

I'm starting to realize that Trace is a celebrity in his own right. I can't even count how many times we got stopped today for autographs and pictures. Plus, of course some of the fans asked about Justin as well. What I couldn't figure out...the weird looks I kept getting, like these people knew me or something. It was creeping me out. Seriously, we need to leave this mall and soon.

As I stand awkwardly in this clothing and accessory store waiting for Trace to be done, I feel my phone vibrating in my jeans pocket.

I pull it out and can't help but smile when I see Justin's name flashing on the screen.

"Hey J!" I say into the line after placing the phone to my ear.

"Hey birthday girl, where are you?" Justin asks.

"Ugh, with Trace in some store in some mall somewhere in LA." I mutter and I hear Justin's soft chuckles on the line.

"Well that's specific." He voices sarcastically. "Are you all getting back soon? It's kind of getting dark out." Justin explains and I nod though he can't see me.

"Yes, as soon as Trace gets what he wants. But he won't tell me and I think you know..." But I'm cut off by Rachel's voice in the background.

"I'm on the phone with Lilah Rach! I'll come to help you. Give me a minute." Justin barks at her. "Sorry Lilah." He diverts his attention back to me.

"No worries. But Justin what are you up to?" I ask suspiciously.

"Nothing...hang on a minute baby..." He drifts and I hear shuffling on his end of the line.

I'm now starting to find it odd that Trace said he had some errands to run and insisted I came along with him to get out since I've spent most of the day around the house with Justin just hanging out, playing around and having fun which is how I liked it. Justin didn't make a huge deal about my birthday but he did pamper me incessantly today and cooked for me and everything since his mom was out today. It was sweet and thoughtful but then later in the day things got weird. Trace is being secretive and Justin is acting clueless. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach about what they might be up to...

It doesn't help that I miss my parents and home in Boston. The one time in the year I really get to spend with them, I'm using some of that time on Justin. I'm not regretting, I just kind of wish they were here as well. But, I have been talking to them and even Ryan regularly since I've been out here. They called to wish me happy birthday today and everything.

"Ok got it! We can go now!" Trace hollers, snapping me out of my thoughts as he comes over to me.

I shoot him an evil glare, still waiting for Justin to get back on the line as I hold the phone against my ear and allow Trace to lead us out of the store.

"So, what did you get?" I ask Trace, trying to take the small bag from his hold to see what's inside.

He dodges my grip and picks up his pace. "Don't even try Delilah. Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you'll get your way." Trace voices smartly and I huff, following behind him. "We're going home now." He adds in and I roll my eyes, staring at the back of his head.

"Whatever." I mumble.

"What's wrong with you?" Justin's voice filters through the line again and I completely ignore Trace as we make our way towards where he parked his ride.

"Trace is being stubborn. He won't show me what he got or tell me why he dragged me down here." I whine on the phone and Justin laughs at my distress. I really don't see how any of this is funny.

"Lilah, you've been home all day. You needed to get out for a while. And it just so happens, I asked him to pick up something for me while he was out."

"Let me guess, you all are throwing me a surprise party and needed to get me out of the house." I blurt out, shocking Justin into silence. "Come on Justin, it's freaking obvious." I say when he doesn't respond immediately.

There's a brief pause as I listen to him breathing on the line.

"Do me favor?" He says softly into the line and I giggle.

"What?"

"Act surprise when you guys get here." He says quietly.

"Aw, that's sweet and thoughtful that you'd do that for me but Justin, I asked you to not make a big deal out of my..." but he cuts me off.

"It's really not that big of a deal. I only invited a few people over." He states and I frown.

"Like other celebrities? But I don't know any of your friends except Trace and Rachel. Justin...how am I supposed to..."

"Lilah, chill, it's fine. Just, get here and you'll meet everyone and I promise you'll have a good time ok? Hurry back. I gotta go help Rach set up the drinks." Justin explains and I sigh heavily in return.

"Justin, you didn't even try to deny that you were throwing me a party." I point out.

"Why should I? It's better this way. Now you can prepare yourself and not be caught off guard."

There's a hint of amusement in his voice when he says this, but he keeps his tone serious for the most part.

"Right...well, we're on our way." I state, stopping next to the passenger door of Trace's ride.

"Good, see you soon." He responds and with that I'm met with a dial tone.

I root the phone from my ear and stare at it briefly before stuffing it back into my pocket and getting into the car when Trace unlocks the doors.

Now safely inside the car, I turn to look at Trace as he brings the ride to life.

"Not a single word." Trace smiles while looking at me from the corner of his eye.

I raise my hands in defeat, giggling.

As he pulls out of his parking spot getting ready to head unto the highway, he's caught off guard and slams down hard on the brakes when flashes start going off around us.

I jerk forward in my seat, a soft gasp escaping me when I see a swarm of people appear out of nowhere, quickly surrounding our ride with cameras in their hands.

"Great. This is just what we need. Fuck...this is bad." Trace mutters, his eyes wide in disbelief as he glares at the people standing around the ride preventing him from going anywhere.

"What's going on?" I ask bewildered as I squint under the blinding flashes.

"Delilah! Delilah Marshall!"

Wow, how do these people know my name?

"Get out of the fucking way!" Trace barks, honking his horn and inching the car forward.

Thank god our windows are rolled up, but the windscreen isn't tinted.

"Delilah is it true? Are you really Justin's new girl?!"

"What happened between you two at that boarding school?!"

"How does Jessica feel about you taking her place Delilah?!"

"Trace, how do you feel about this whole thing?!"

"Oh my god." I gasp, slapping my palms over my mouth and ducking my head to get away from the bright flashes.

"Shit..." Trace rolls down his window slightly, full of anger. "Get the fuck out of my way else I swear to god, I'll run some of you fucks over and take the jail time for it." Trace barks.

I guess his outburst worked because they move to the side, still flashing pictures and calling at us as Trace quickly picks up speed and drives off, heading onto the highway and leaving them behind.

When we're safely on the highway heading back to Justin's I release a sigh, feeling my rampant heartbeat slowing down as I stare out of the window in a trance.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." Trace grumbles under his breath, angrily hitting the steering wheel in the process.

"Trace?" I whisper.

"Delilah, look, I'm really sorry." He apologizes but I shake my head.

"No, it's ok. It's not your fault. But...what just happened?" I ask still a bit dazed.

"That was the paparazzi. They must have heard we were at the mall. That was only one of many encounters you'll have being with Justin. At least we were already in the car. It's a lot worse when you're out there with them. I'm really sorry..." Trace explains and I nod slowly, keeping my eyes focused on the many cars out on the highway with us.

"When Justin explained to me about this, I still had no idea...god that was a horrible experience." I cringe. I can't believe Justin goes through this on a regular.

"I'd like to tell you that eventually, being in this lifestyle long enough, you get used to it. But you don't. You never get used to it. You simply learn to accept it and tolerate it as part of the package based on the life choice you made." Trace voices and I nod again, not bothering to respond this time.

The rest of our ride home is done in silence as I start thinking about what it is I'm really getting myself into with Justin and this life. Can I really handle being with a celebrity like Justin? He's not simply Justin from Higher Heights. As much as I wish that were the case, it's not.

**

As Trace heads up the driveway after punching in the code to Justin's gates of his estate, I'm wondering what kind of surprise party this is supposed to be. I don't see any cars parked anywhere and that makes me a little nervous.

Trace finally kills the engine and hops out of the car still fuming. He's not as upset as when we left the mall, but he's certainly not over our little paparazzi encounter which means, Justin is going to hear an earful.

I silently follow behind him up the stairs and pause when he knocks on the front door.

The door swings open seconds later to reveal a grinning Rachel.

"Oh you guys are back! Just in time." She says cheerily before gripping my arm in hers to lead me in with Trace in tow.

"You'd never believe what happened to us..." Trace begins.

If he tells Justin about the paps now, Justin is going to end up in a shitty mood. He seemed so happy when I spoke to him on the phone. I don't want to spoil that...not tonight before my birthday is up.

"Trace?" I pull myself out of Rachel's hold and turn to look at him.

"Yes?" He curves a brow at me in question.

"Don't tell Justin. At least, not yet...not tonight. Please." I beg him and he frowns deeply before releasing a groan.

"What's with you all keeping shit from each other?" He blurts out and I scowl at him, not understanding his statement.

Before I can ask him what he means, Justin appears from around the corner to greet us looking amazing in simple faded jeans and a dark blue t-shirt.

"Took you all long enough." Justin says happily before coming over to me and cupping my cheeks in his palms. He leans down and plants a firm kiss on my lips which I gladly accept. "Hey there birthday girl." He coos softly, his blues searching my grey-browns.

"Hey there." I mock him, smiling slyly.

"So, are you ready for your surprise party which isn't a surprise anymore?" Justin jokes and both Rachel and Trace laugh softly.

Well at least Trace is respecting my wishes and keeping his mouth shut. It's not like Justin won't find out. I'm sure our photos are going to be everywhere by tomorrow.

"Uh huh...let's get this party rolling. I take it the guests aren't here yet?" I giggle, looking around, realizing that the lights are dimmed and there's soft upbeat music playing in the background.

Justin's lips twitch slightly as he looks away from me for a brief moment before a huge smile forms on his face.

"They're here.  But first, I have something I want to give you." Justin says softly and I frown in suspicion at the innocence behind his statement. Oh, he's not fooling me.

"Really? And what might that be?" I play along.

"You'll see. Hey T, you got the stuff?" Justin questions, diverting his gaze to Trace who's studying the both of us intently.

"Here..." Trace hands him the small bag in his hand and Justin takes it from him before looking between Rachel and Trace, the three of them exchanging some type of knowing stare. Obviously I'm out of the loop but I'm simply going to wait and see what happens.

"Ok, guys, would you excuse us for just a few minutes and we'll join you in the game room in a few?" Justin voices and they both nod, Rachel being the first to excuse herself quietly.

Trace lingers behind, still eyeing us. Justin notices this and frowns at his best friend. "What's up T? Something wrong?" Justin asks.

Trace shakes his head hesitantly, releasing a soft sigh. "No, just..." he drifts. "I'll uh see you guys in the game room. I'm gonna grab a beer." He quickly voices before darting off, leaving us alone.

"That wasn't weird at all." Justin mutters sarcastically, giving me his full attention. "Did something happen while you guys were out?"

"What? No. Trace is just being Trace I guess." I shrug.

"Uh huh..." Justin drawls, his eyes narrowing slightly before he brushes off his suspicions. "Ok, well come with me." He grabs my hand gently in his and begins leading us upstairs towards his bedroom.

I pause before we enter his room, causing him to stop as well since he was holding my hand.

Justin slowly turns to look at me, giving me an askance look. "What?" he inquires, his lips curving into a light smile.

I watch him closely, really taking in the sight of him before I release a light sigh and shake my head. "Nothing." I mutter and he frowns.

"Nothing huh?" He mocks me, glaring at me.

"It's just..." I drift, biting the inside of my lip.  "I can't help but still wonder every now and then...I mean I know how we met and all but I can't help but still wonder you know?" I refrain from stating my full thought and he knows this because he's pulling me into his room now and shutting the door behind us.

He drops my hand and turns to face me with his arms tightly folded.

"Let's not go there Lilah." He warns and I look away from him, swaying on my heels.

"Justin...you're this...this mega superstar." I practically whisper and I hear him sigh as I continue to avoid eye contact with him. "And, I'm nobody...really....and the more I think about it, the more time that goes by, I can't help but just feel...just realize how...how off our pairing is or something. I mean, it doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense. We don't make sense Justin. All this...everything that happened, the way you ended up at Higher Heights, the way we got stuck with each other, the way you fought my battles for me...to now. I don't know. I mean, had this been us living our regular lives, we probably wouldn't even care to know each other. So now it's...I mean my family loves you but, I'm not sure how well I fit into your life outside of school."

"You should have some Hollywood starlet on your arm...or you should be out playing the field, partying or whatever it is your kind do but, you're so...not acting like the celebrity you are. You've invested so much time in this change your life has taken, so much time in me, in us and I can't help but just really wonder why. I mean I know what you said but..." I ramble out, stopping myself before I can go any further. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to say you're wasting your time, I'm happy we are where we are...I...I'm just gonna stop talking now." I cave, shaking my head in disdain.

This sounded so much better in my head. The last thing I want is to upset him. I'm just trying to make sense of everything, of if this is all worth it. I'm trying to figure out if we really have some type of future together or if we're kidding ourselves and should quit while we're ahead.

There's a brief pause before Justin responds to me and surprisingly, I don't pick up on any anger in his tone when he speaks.

"Lilah..." Justin begins, but trails off. I lock eyes with him in that instant and I'm surprised to see the smile on his face that stretches all the way to his deep beautiful blues. "I love you...isn't that enough? Isn't that enough to just forget about everything else, everything you just said and see where this takes us?" He questions.

I have a feeling that's all I'm going to get out of him at this moment so I relent, shaking my head shyly. "Yes, I'm being ridiculous huh?" I giggle but he shakes his head in protest.

"No, not ridiculous...never that." Justin whispers as he closes the small gap between us. "Actually, I know where you're coming from. But, worrying about the ‘what ifs' isn't something I'm keen on doing right now so..." He leans down, kissing me lightly before pulling away. "So, what do you say we get these birthday celebrations over with first huh?" He chuckles lightly and I smile, deciding to give it a rest. I happen to know that things would be so much easier if I was a different person and because of that, maybe I do need to change a bit more and reinvent myself if I really want this relationship to work.

"Ok, then, let's start by you telling me why you dragged me up here." I state and I note how Justin's mood lightens almost immediately.

"Do you remember that time back at the prison when coach, Manny and your bro walked in on us in the locker rooms during the dance before summer break?" Justin inquires as he moves away from me and heads over to one of his dresser draws.  I scowl in thought. How could I forget?

"Uh sure? And the school is not a prison Justin." I laugh.

"Uh huh, do you remember what we were doing before they walked in?"  He pulls out a box and turns to look at me expectantly with a smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes, giggling softly. "Is this going somewhere?"

"Answer the question Lilah." He demands and I groan.

"Fine! Yes, I remember." I snicker.

"And...did you ever figure out what I was trying to tell you that night when I kissed you?"

He's serious now, searching my grey-browns and my smile falls significantly as I swallow hard. "Uh...I um..."

Walking over to me, he lifts the box in his hand into my line of sight. "Open it." He voices, ignoring the fact that I didn't answer his last question.

"Hey, is that the same gift..."

"Uh huh." He cuts me off. "I told you, you'd get it for your birthday once you came out to visit. I was able to add some more to it though since some time passed."

Curving my brows in interest, I take the gift from him and slowly begin to open it with Justin silently standing and watching my every move.

"What is it?" I ask suspiciously, shaking the box before I continue ripping the wrapping off. Once I get everything open, a deep frown graces my face as I pull out the object from the box, enjoying the cool feel against my fingers as I study it intently.

"Do you like it?" Justin asks, grinning.

"You got me a...a charm bracelet?" I question in bewilderment.

"Yes. It's a white gold, diamond encrusted charm bracelet to be exact." Justin beams with pride and I look at him, still holding the object awkwardly in my hand.

"It's...it's beautiful." I admit. "And thank you..."

Before I can say anything else, he takes it out of my grasp and instructs me to extend my hand. I do just that and watch as he unclasps it and places it securely around my wrist.

"There, happy birthday." Justin coos, eyeing me as I eye my gift.

"Am I going to have to ask you what each charm stands for, or..."

"I thought you'd never ask." He laughs. "Actually, I got this for you to symbolize and make you see just how much I appreciate and cherish every moment we've spent together...so far. Seeing as you always doubted shit, I had to find a way to show you that ‘us' ending up together had to mean something and that I valued your company even if I annoyed you and still do." He grins widely.

"Wow...well...I guess now I have no choice but to believe that you loved being around me." I joke.

"And vice versa. Don't even play. You know you loved having me around too." He mutters cockily, jumping away from me before I can pinch him and I laugh.

"Ok, ok...so explain these charms." I say excitedly as he lifts my hand, his thumb toying with the bracelet while a thoughtful expression floats over his face. This should be interesting.

"Well, the small text book indicates when we first met at that school and you literally called me out before showing me to my first history class; the plate indicates my first encounter with ‘the jerk' in the cafeteria and you came to my rescue..." Justin laughs at that and I can't help but shake my head with a smile. "The paint brush is the first time I joined you in art class and you were checking me out." He says smartly.

"I was not!" I defend, feeling myself blushing.

"Yeah you were, don't lie, you liked that I was the bad boy who defied the dress code rules." He snickers.

"Whatever...continue please." I give him a playful shove and he chortles.

"Ok, the small ball symbolizes our first school game we went to together and me being on the team with your support afterwards. The tiny dress, is for me getting you to go to the school dance with me when you clearly, didn't do dances and still don't. Oh and you wore a dress which according to Sandra and Michelle is a rare feat. The small bottle symbolizes our first illegal party we threw for my birthday in the dorms...it was a great birthday by the way, especially with Trace and Rachel surprise visit." Justin beams and I can't help but get lost in all the memories and moments we had together at that school.

Wow, I guess I shouldn't be surprised he remembers all these things and deem them as important milestones or whatever they are.

"Most of these are straight forward when you look at them. Oh this one...the pen attached to an open notebook, symbolizes when I learned about you...about your past and your life. You could call it me getting a peak at your diary if you will. Especially that time at my place when you got drunk and was upset over ‘the jerk' and told me what happened." Justin shakes his head in thought, his eyes narrowing slightly before he moves to the next charm. He's made it a point of duty to not speak ‘the jerk's' name. hmm.

"The guy and the girl..." Justin begins and I cut him off, looking at the small charm of a guy and girl kissing.

"Our first kiss?" I question, remembering it quite clearly. We were out in the halls, he told me he made the team and the rest...

"Yes. And the first time we..." He drifts, looking at me and swallowing hard before breaking eye contact.

"Made love?" I finish his statement but he doesn't look at me or respond. He simply moves to the next charm and I frown at that.

"The boxing glove...I couldn't resist. It was the first time I put the jerk in his place and something tells me it won't be the last." Justin says with a sinister smile on his face.

"Why do you even have that as a charm?" I ask.

"Because that's when I realized you were worth fighting for." He simply states and I nod.

"Ok..."

"Some of these are minor, some obvious, like the plane, which means me visiting you in Boston and you visiting me out here...but this one..." Justin voices, spinning the bracelet around on my wrist to grip a charm in his hand as he stares at it. It's the only charm on the entire bracelet with ‘color'. All the others are made of the same white gold as the bracelet except this charm. "The heart...it...it's for when I realized I loved you, when I told you I loved you, when I knew I would always love you, when we make love, when you told me you loved me....so...I'd say, it symbolizes the love we share and hopefully, that love will continue to grow." Justin explains, looking at me as he toys with the heart-shaped charm. I'd say this one was also obvious but I think it's the most important one on here.

"It's beautiful..." I choke out, now feeling the familiar sting of tears as I really begin to understand how much thought went into this one gift.

"I had the jeweler craft the shape of the heart out of the ruby stone. So, take good care of it." Justin explains and I nod in understanding, getting the double meaning behind his words and now wondering about the price of this entire bracelet with the charms included. I'm guessing the heart wasn't the only custom-made charm. But it's the most important one to him because...it's doesn't just symbolize love does it? It symbolizes his heart and the fact that he's maybe wearing it on his sleeve with me or he's given it to me.

"Oh, and there's one more charm to clip on for today." He adds in and I stare at him, watching him dip into the same small bag Trace brought back from the mall.

Whatever is in that bag, we scoured the mall to get it so I'm sure it's important or something.

I look on as he pulls out a small box before tossing the small bag to the side. He opens the box and pulls out a tiny solid gold key.

I'm silent as he clips on the final charm right next to the ruby red heart.

"All done. I hope you like your surprise." Justin grins.

I look at the key with a deep scowl. "Justin?"

"Hmm?"

"What does the key symbolize?"

"If I said, it was the key to my heart would you think I was corny?" He jokes and I laugh.

"Oh yes." I laugh loudly.

"Well then it's a good thing it's not." He pouts and I sober up.

"Aw, but it would still be cute."

"Corny and cute? Wow, that's...that's great." He mutters dryly.

"Don't be like that Justin." I plead, smiling.

"You already have my heart Lilah, we have a charm for that remember?" He wisecracks and I huff.

"So then what is it for?"

"That's for me to know and you to eventually find out."

"Wait what!?" I gasp. "Justin! Tell me." I beg and he shakes his head no, moving away from me with a triumphant smile on his face.

"Nope sorry. That's all the surprise you need for one night...well almost but..." He places his thumb to his lips, shaking his head in protest so he won't give anything else away.

"You're so mean! I had to wait all this time to find out what my gift was and now, there's a charm on here I have no idea what it means but I'm wearing it."

"But you trust me, so you'll keep wearing it." He adds in.

"And if people ask?"

"Tell them the key to the heart thing. Women eat that shit up when a guy's all sensitive and crap." Justin voices in a deep tone, clearing his throat loudly and I roll my eyes at his elaborate attempt to stress his manhood.

"Ok, fine you win. I'll wait. So, now that's out of the way..."

"We head down to the party, live it up, get fucked up, come back up to my room later when the party's over and everyone is gone and fuck like monkeys...unless you wanna skip to the end first and..."

"Ugh Justin!" I belt, cutting him off before he can finish his statement. He's laughing uncontrollably now by the twisted up expression on my face I'm sure. "Sometimes you're so rude." I point out.

"Maybe, but I can promise you that you will be mine tonight Lilah...no doubt about that.  So, we'll see how that goes." He says in a deep husky voice, winking at me as I look at him in shock. He's irresistible and he knows this...hence the cockiness and why I need to pinch him every once in a while.

"Oh you wanna give me some ‘birthday sex' huh?" I say in a sing-song voice and he groans.

"I hate that song." He laughs. "I heard it way too much. It's a love-hate relationship. And no, it's not about the birthday sex because by then, it won't be your birthday anymore. I'm simply confident that you'll be mine contorting in any and every position I desire later."

"Oh really? Wanna bet?" I tease him and he growls deeply, gripping me and pulling me in his embrace.

"You should have learned by now to not make bets with me Lilah. I mean, majority of the time, I win our little banters. Like that bet we had where if I scored higher than you on our art exams you'd come out to Cali to visit." Justin quips, leading us out of his room and down the stairs towards where my supposed surprise party is being held I guess.

"Oh please, that was a fluke."

"I won."

"Yeah but we decided I was going to visit even without the stupid bet Justin, so..."

"Yes, but the point is I won. So, either way, you would have made it out here."

"Whatever...you got higher than me by two points Justin. That hardly calls for celebration." I say stubbornly, giggling like an idiot as we make our way through his house hand in hand.

He turns to give me a look, holding back his laughter.

"You're a sore loser Lilah."

"And you're a sore winner Justin!" I counter and he chuckles.

"Maybe..." He drifts as we stop in front of the shut door to his game room. I'm thinking he set up the party to take place in there. Leaning down, Justin brushes some of my hair behind my ear before he leans in and whispers softly in my ear. "But, you're still going to be mine later. It's ok, don't worry. I'm pretty sure you'll be the one to initiate it anyway."

I swear that man is so cocky sometimes! But, for him, it works.

When he pulls away from me with a sly smirk on his face I glower at him, partly in shock over the fact that he can be so blunt and raw with me and partly over the fact that I'm getting excited and hot just thinking about all the things I'd love to do to him.

I should have a medal for being able to resist Justin the way I've been doing. Then again, that resistance is wearing thin with each passing day I'm in his presence so...

"On three, I'm gonna swing the door open and they're gonna yell surprise. You ready?" Justin questions and I nod nervously, not sure of who is on the other side of that door but praying I don't end up being star struck over any of his friends and end up making a fool of myself.

"Ready." I blurt out.

"Ok, one...two..." Justin turns to look at me, giving my hand a light squeeze before he releases his hold on me and suddenly swings the door open. "Three!" He yells, pushing me inside of the room, catching me off guard.

I stumble in and I'm momentarily deafened by the loud chorus of "surprise" and "happy birthday" that soon follows.

As  I gather my bearings and begin to scan the faces in the room, my heart speeds up and my mouth hangs open while my eyes bulge out of their sockets when I take in the smiling faces of my mom, dad, Marco, Sandra, Michelle and even...Ryan?

Everything else is a blur; I don't see all of the other guests whom I don't know, I don't pay attention to Rachel or Trace or even Justin for that matter. All I see are my family and friends and the fact that Justin maybe paid for them to come out here just to surprise me on my birthday because he knew how much I was missing them.

This has to be the best birthday surprise ever and I know that this little party is going to be fun.

"Ha! I got her mouth hanging open and everything!"

The sound of Rachel's voice snaps me out of my daze and I notice that she's holding a camera in her hand probably looking at the embarrassing picture she just took of me, with Trace laughing up a storm.

I sigh, shaking my head as I begin to smile again... "Wow." I say shocked.

"Thanks for ‘acting' surprised like I asked...you should win an Oscar." Justin jokes, knowing damn well I wasn't acting. He did this on purpose.

Before I can reply with a smart comment, I'm surrounded by my family and friends and in no time flat, I'm hugging and kissing and gushing over them realizing for the first time that I'm never going to get anyone else who comes even remotely close to the amazing person that Justin is.

Part 2

LA, California

At Justin's

Hours Later

"I just can't believe that you guys are actually here." I gush, looking at Sandra and Michelle.

"Well, you better believe it girl." Sandra giggles as we stand off in the corner in our own little clique catching up on everything since we left for summer break.

"I'm happy you guys are here though. I missed you." I admit.

"Aw, we missed you too. But you've been quite the busy one huh?" Michelle points out and I can't hide my blush.

"Well..."

"You're with Justin now. I mean, it's like...everywhere. You guys are the hot topic in Hollywood celebrity relationships, especially since your relationship is still a mystery to the public and all they can do is speculate, considering you guys haven't exactly gone public with it." Sandra explains and I nod, feeling slightly nervous by that fact.

I haven't done any research to find out just how much the public knows. I'm not sure I want to. Justin hasn't said much so it can't be that bad right?

"When you guys said Justin was a big deal, I totally underestimated that fact, but getting a firsthand experience of it..." I trail off, shaking my head at the earlier encounter Trace and I had. I still haven't told Justin about it, but I plan to. Hopefully he won't be too upset considering this is a regular part of his life.

"It can be overwhelming. I can see the uncertainty in your eyes Delilah. And, you know we want all the juicy details on everything that's happened since you left." Sandra smiles, searching my orbs intently. "But, all that can wait. It's your birthday, Justin invited us out here to spend it with you. The party's going great so far, I'm about ready for my next drink to get my tipsy on." Sandra giggles and Michelle and I laugh along with her. "Just know this..." Sandra adds in, her laughs dying out. "That man loves you Delilah. I mean, I didn't need to stumble across you guys on any tabloids or on television to know Justin is into you." Hold up, did she just say television!? "Truth be told, I think he was into you from the start. Can't blame him either. You're an amazing person, a great friend. And, he flew us out here just to be with you. That shows he really cares." Sandra explains, touching my shoulder lightly and I smile weakly, subconsciously scanning the room for Justin, spotting him off in the corner talking to Trace and his producer friend he introduced me to earlier known as Timbaland.

I look down at my charm bracelet, smiling softly.

"I know." I sigh heavily, shaking my head in agreement.

"Do you?" Michelle questions, studying me. "We don't know what's going on with you guys and, you can tell us when you're ready, maybe when we get back to school next month. But you're our friend Del and we know you. Justin has no idea how hard he's going to have to work at this relationship with you." Michelle says with a hint of disappointment in her tone. "I know you can't help put up walls but...just know that we can see how much Justin cares and this life with him isn't going to be easy. So, once you're sure that you're ready then..."

"I know...that he loves me. And I...I love him too." I explain, giving my two worried friends a reassuring smile.

I love them both. They're always there looking out and I know they are only concerned for me because they got front row seats to my meltdown back when Ethan and I were having our drama. I'm sure they don't want a replay of that and neither do I, which is why I've kept my heart guarded for so long. But with Justin, he's proven to me over and over that he's worth the risk, that I don't have to worry when it comes to him. But Michelle is right; he did have to work really hard to get me to open up and he's still working, but I'm willing to meet him half way because I'd like for us to have a future together.

"Good. Take it one day at a time and most importantly, don't let the public dictate your relationship. That's the breaking point for a lot of celeb relationships." Michelle voices and I nod, storing her advice in memory. I'll need all the help I can get since I'm being pulled into this life whether I like it or not.

"Noted." I smile widely and that elicits giggles from them and just like that the light happy mood between us is back.

"Now, I could use another drink." Sandra explains, excusing herself to head over to the small bar Rachel and Justin set up.

Michelle and I watch her retreating form before we're joined by my brother.

"Ladies." Marco drawls before sipping on his beer.

"Hey Marco, what's up?" I question, and he shrugs, his orbs scanning the room briefly before his attention is back on me.

"Nothing much, just came to see how the birthday girl is doing." He teases, shoving me in the shoulder lightly and I shove him back causing him to chuckle. I've really missed my brother.

"I'll uh, see you guys later. I'm going to head over to the guys and talk to Trace." Michelle utters and I wink for her, laughing as she slips away from us.

"Michelle got a thing for Trace?" Marco questions curiously and I shrug innocently.

"Uh, you could say that. I think the feeling's mutual." I muse, watching as Michelle joins in Justin, Trace and Timbaland's conversation.

Justin looks in my direction in that moment and we lock eyes with each other briefly. He gives me a cute shy smile before raising his glass and I wave at him before Marco claims my attention again.

"So how has it been out here so far?" Marco asks and I gaze at him.

"Fun. Justin, Trace and Rachel have really gone out of their way to make me feel at home." I point out.

"And do you feel at home here?" Marco questions, curving his brows in curiosity.

"Yes." I reply without hesitation.

"Could you see this place as actually being your home one day?" He asks again and that's when I frown lightly.

It's funny but, even if I'm wondering why he asked me this, I'm not wondering about what answer to give. "Yes. California is great. I could see myself living here one day...maybe, you know once I'm out of school and building my life."

"Ok." Marco nods, finishing his beer.

"Ok? That's it?" I laugh nervously. You can never tell with my brother sometimes.

"As long as you're happy Lili, I'm happy." Marco grins. "Besides, it was pretty cool of Justin to invite us out here for you so that scores him points in my book. Now have fun huh? It's your party. I'm going to see where Mom and Dad disappeared to. They said something about bouncing into Justin's mom when they came from the bathroom and that they were going to talk to her or something..." Marco's voice drifts off as he leaves me to head in search of our parents.

"Alright." I call out and he makes a hand gesture in acknowledgement before he's gone.

I still can't believe that my brother actually likes Justin. That's epic.

But why does the thought or mention of Justin's mom make me so nervous? I still have no idea how she really feels about me. I haven't talked to her much since I've been here. I feel like I'm always missing her because she's always out since she's a busy woman. The few times I have spoken to her, she spent those times questioning me on any and everything she could think of but she's always been pleasant and made me feel comfortable. I still can't help but feel that maybe she's not too happy with me claiming so much of her son's attention.

"You're finally alone I see."

I cringe at the sound of my cousin's voice and slowly turn around to lock eyes with him.

"Ryan, I..." But he cuts me off.

"I know me being here isn't the best birthday surprise you could ask for. But, I just want you to know that I'm happy we haven't completely fallen out. I'm glad that even if you don't like or understand my ‘friendship' with Ethan, you somehow look past it."

I gaze at him for a bit, taking in his deep blue eyes, light stubble and slightly worried expression.

"I haven't looked past that fact Ryan. I've simply learnt to deal with it." I explain, a light scowl now forming on my face as I continue to study my cousin.

"Well, whatever the case may be..." But he drifts when he sees the displeased look on my face. "There's a reason you know. I promise you that Delilah...there's a reason we still appear to be friends after what he did to you all those years ago." Ryan voices, scratching at his scruff lightly.

"Do enlighten me cousin." This I'd love to hear.

Ryan bites his bottom lip as his blues remain locked onto my gray-browns. His mouth hangs open slightly, and for a moment, my breath hitches when it looks like he's about to give some type of explanation, but then his stare falters and his eyes drift to look past me.

His blues narrow and he releases a light sigh before his attention is back on me.

"You'll find out, in due time. Maybe then, you won't hate me so much. But even if I were to attempt to tell you anything now, I don't think your boyfriend would grant me enough time to get anything out..."

Completely taken aback by his statement, I shake my head in confusion, about to ask him what he means but I stall when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. Immediately, I understand and give Ryan a questionable glare before a small smile slides across my lips.

"I hope you're enjoying yourself and your mood isn't being altered by a certain someone."

I snort when Justin's voice floats out in a soft yet protective tone next to my ear. He leans in and places a light kiss on my cheek and I notice Ryan roll his eyes at the gesture.

"I'm good. Ryan and I were just catching up is all." I voice, keeping my eyes on Ryan as he shifts his weight on his feet before he opts to leave.

"Yes, something like that." Ryan agrees, smiling lightly. "Happy birthday Delilah. Enjoy the rest of your night."

With that, Ryan excuses himself and swiftly leaves, exiting the game room.

I wonder for a moment where he's off too, but I soon forget about it when Justin flips me around to face him.

He looks down at me suspiciously.

"What? Don't give me that look. You were the one who invited him." I laugh.

"I really don't know why you entertain him." Justin smirks.

"He's my cousin Justin. He's blood. I can't completely disown the guy."

"Really? Some cousin. And for the record, your parents were the ones who said it would be bad to leave Ryan alone in the house considering he came home for summer break to spend time with the family. I was all for it, but I wasn't about to disagree with your folks so...he's here...unfortunately." Justin snickers and I roll my eyes, giggling.

"Despite what you might think, Ryan's not all bad."

"No, but he's mostly a royal pain so it pans out." Justin chuckles and I sigh, my smile never faltering.

"Ok, ok, enough about my cousin." I say with a dismissive wave of my hand. "This party has been going great, I'm having fun, the night is still young..."

"And now that everyone is properly entertained, I think we should sneak off and have some alone time." Justin adds in, finishing my sentence.

I look around at the many guests mingling, enjoying the music and chatting. I wasn't nearly as star struck as I thought I'd be, but I think it's because I had too much on my mind already to pay attention to anything else.

Still, Justin's right. We could use some alone time. We've hardly spent any time together since the party picked up hours ago.

"Ok, let's go." I giggle, gripping Justin's hand in mine.

A large grin spreads across his face as we move towards the exit to head to another part of his home.

*****

"I was sure you were going to bring me back to the bedroom with all that talk you gave me earlier." I giggle as Justin leads us into a dark room and shuts the door behind us.

I stand awkwardly by the door, my eyes starting to adjust to the darkness before he finds the light switch and flips it on.

"We've spent enough time in there." Justin chuckles. "You've never been to this room before, so, I figured now was as good a time as any."

As my eyes adjust to my new surroundings, I let out a soft gasp in awe. "Wow, I didn't realize you had your own in house studio."

"Most successful artists do. So, do you like it?" Justin inquires, looking at me anxiously, maybe seeking my approval.

I hesitate as I scan the spacious room. I notice the large soundboard, the recording booth, the large ebony piano in the corner, a couch, a large flat mahogany table and some other equipment lying around.

"I love it. I think it's awesome. But Justin, you hardly ever discuss or share your music side with me." I point out.

Is it bad that I've never seen him live in action being the amazing singer and performer that he is? I mean, I know he's mostly been collaborating and producing these days but I've never witnessed any of it.

"I know and I want to change that. I thought about it and figured, this is a huge part of my life and it's the part you hardly know about. And like you said, we won't be at Higher Heights forever and when that's over, if we're going to work as a couple outside of that school, I need you to be comfortable with the other parts of my life. I need you to accept all of me Delilah. Somehow, I don't think you have...not yet. You're still stuck on this notion that I'm your Justin from that school and that's cool, I love that, but, there's so much more and..."

"Justin." I interrupt him, smiling. "I know." I say with a nod.

"Know what exactly?" He inquires curiously.

"I know there's this other side of you, the side that the public sees and relishes in. I've told you, I'm ok with your superstar status." I admit.

"Liar." He chuckles.

"I'm not lying!"  I say in defense, moving away from him and heading over to take a sit in front of the piano. He follows me and takes a seat next to me, turning to face me.

"Yes, you're a liar. You're not ok with any of it Lilah. Give me some credit here. I know you well enough to know this terrifies the heck out of you."

"You're not wrong. But, I'm seriously ok with it."

"You've accepted that this is my life, you're learning to deal...say that instead." Justin muses, his blues holding my gaze.

"Fine, whatever." I sigh and he grins in return.

"Ok, would you like me to play you something since we're here?" he inquires, lifting the cover of the piano to expose the ebony and ivory keys.

I stare at the instrument and then back at him before biting my lip slightly. This is almost over. I'm going back to Boston soon and then, it's back to that ‘prison' according to Justin. My time here was amazing but when I'm back in my neck of the woods I just know reality is going to be hitting me hard. Still...I'm enjoying tonight way too much to have it end now.

"How about we take a rain check? You can play for me tomorrow and even when we get back to school." I voice.

"Ok." Justin nods in agreement. "So what do you want to do then?"

Smiling shyly I grip his shirt and pull him towards me. "I want you to kiss me."

Justin's eyes widen and I laugh. "I can definitely do that." He chuckles before leaning in to press his soft lips against mine.

*****

Somewhere in the midst of us kissing, we got carried away.

I'm only saying this because Justin just lifted me up to sit on the large mahogany table near the soundboard.

"So, I distinctly remember you saying something along the lines of I would be yours doing whatever you wanted me to do, blah, blah, blah..." I hum against Justin's lips as he's nestled between my legs, his grip on my waist tightening slightly as he kisses me before he smiles lightly against my lips.

"Don't tease me." He warns, releasing a light growl as his large hands snake beneath my shirt...

"I also remember you saying I'd initiate the whole thing..." I'm enjoying this; it's fun messing with him.

"And I was right. You're the one who wanted me to kiss you remember?" He says softly and I gasp, pulling away from him.

I gaze into his blues, curving a brow when he gives me a lazy smile in return, his palms caressing my bare sides and the base of my back. "You weren't kidding." I voice.

"I figured you'd be so excited and happy that I surprised you with your family and friends that you wouldn't be able to take your hands off me." He shrugs innocently and my mouth gapes open slightly before I burst out laughing.

"Oh my god Justin, that's sneaky. But, you're not wrong..." I drift, gripping a fistful of his shirt to pull him closer to me. "Thank you." I whisper against his lips and he nods slowly, his eyes fluttering shut momentarily.

He knows I'm thanking him for a lot more than simply surprising me with my family and friends on my birthday. I have so much to be thankful for right now and a lot of it has to do with him from the moment he stepped into my life.

"You're welcome." He whispers back before he begins kissing me again, his kisses delicate and sensual as his hands carefully roam my body.

I inhale deeply, feeling this innate need for him. I don't care where we are or the fact that there's a party going on right now. Yes it's my party but that's ok. I simply...want him. I need him.

"J?" I say softly, breaking our kiss.

"Hmm." He replies with his eyes shut tight.

"I want you...right here....right now." I voice shyly and I note how his orbs slowly open to meet my gaze.

He nods, not saying a word as he pulls away from me. He helps me to get on my feet before he heads over to the door and locks it.

I stand awkwardly, looking around, relishing in the fact that this place is probably one of his most personal, private places where he can come to be alone and get his creative juices flowing, and, he shared it with me.

My breath catches in my throat when Justin walks back up to me. I look up at him, noting the slight smirk on his face as he eyes me.

"Are you sure you want to do this here?" He asks with caution and I shake my head.

"Yes." I say boldly. "Now, take those off." I demand, pointing to his shirt and jeans.

He chuckles lightly, allowing me to help him disrobe.

I help him pull off his shirt and he easily steps out of his jeans, shoes and socks to remain in just his boxers. I take a small step back to get a good look at him. My eyes roam over his upper torso before my hands stretch out to gently touch him, the heat of his skin sending shivers through my body. Slowly, my fingertips trail over his firm chest and inch down to his abs. He breathes in deeply, his eyes fixated on my hands as I continue to explore, loving the tiny light freckles on his skin.

"Ok, ok..." Justin stops me by gripping my hand. "This is torture." He points out and I giggle. "It's your turn to strip." He voices and I roll my eyes.

"Fine." I mutter then proceed to remove my shirt and jeans in record time.

Justin remains in place, his blues attached to me like glue as he studies everything I'm doing silently. I wink for him, now standing in just my underwear, and that elicits a low chuckle from him as he closes the gap between us. He looks down at me, cupping my cheek with his palm as his other hand brushes some of my short raven hair out of my face.

"Hey." He whispers playfully.

"Hey." I whisper back and he smiles for a bit before his expression turns serious.

"I love you Lilah." He states, studying my expressions closely.

"Aw, I love you too J." I coo, but he shakes his head.

"No, you don't get it. I really, truly do..." He trails off, blinking slowly as his face creases into a light frown. "If anything happened to tear us apart...I'd be devastated." He divulges and I swallow hard, looking away. "Hey look at me." He demands, gripping my chin and turning my head. "I mean it." He voices and I can't help but wonder why he's telling me this...why he's so adamant about this. I get it. I know how he feels. He has nothing to worry about. I'm not running away. "Don't break my heart Lilah." He says softly. "I don't think I'd be able to deal if you did."

Why do I get the feeling like he's scared I'm going to just up and leave him? He can't possibly still think that. Not after everything we've been through.

Sighing, I pull him down and place a light kiss on his lips to ease his worries. Pulling away, I let my fingers trail over his jaw line and then his mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere Justin." I point out and he nods, breathing deeply as he looks into my gray-browns.

"Good. Neither am I." He replies before gripping my waist and pushing me back towards the table.

In one swift motion, he lifts me to sit on top of the furniture again and I hiss softly at the cool surface against my skin.

Justin immediately gets to work, attaching his lips to my neck as he kisses me there and creates a light suction making me squirm.

My heartbeat increases and I feel my chest warm as he helps me to undo my bra and then toss it to the side. Seconds later, he moves back to pull off my underwear.

I'm now completely naked and vulnerable sitting on that table inside of Justin's studio but he doesn't seem to mind. A rather devious smile floats across his lips as he looks at me intently.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're absolutely beautiful when you're naked?" Justin jokes and I groan softly.

"No, that would be just you and your corny ass self." I wisecrack and he huffs lightly.

"Uh huh..." he drawls, gripping my thighs and pulling me towards the edge of the table. He situates himself between my legs again as his arms wraps around my waist to pull me closer.

His bare chest fuses with mine as he dips his head to kiss my nose lightly and then the side of my mouth.

"Ugh, Justin please." I whine, wrapping my legs around his waist to pull him in.

"Please what?" He chuckles.

"You know what. Don't do this." I groan and he continues to chuckle.

"Impatient much?"

"We have a party to get back to, or did you forget?" I point out and he shrugs uncaringly.

"Ehh..." he mutters and my orbs widen slightly.

"Now who's the one teasing?" I say accusingly.

"I'm sorry. But I have to admit, I love seeing you squirm."

"Here, let me help you." I state, ignoring his last statement.

Using my hands, I lean to the side and grip his boxers before slowly pushing them down his slim waist. He doesn't try to stop me. Instead, he remains in place allowing me to continue my task until his erection finally springs out and I gasp slightly. Not missing a beat, I grip him in my palm, appreciating his size and the fact that he's solid and ready.

His breathing deepens when I caress him slowly, my hand trailing up and down his length as I study his expressions. He bites his lower lip lightly as his blues pierce my gray-browns.

I feel like my entire body is on fire right now with how hot this all is. I'm practically flowing like a river here, but I like having control, I like driving Justin crazy because I just think he's so damn adorable. I mean, really, no one person should ooze such sex appeal. That's dangerous.

"Alright..." He finally speaks, his voice horse and strained. He removes my hand and situates himself right where I need him most. I hold my breath when I feel the head of his erection slide over my folds as he uses one of his hands to guide himself to my opening. "Ready?" He asks in a low husky voice and I nod, wrapping my arms around his neck as he grips my thighs tightly.

I can practically feel and hear my rigorous heartbeat in my ears but I don't care. My eyes flutter shut and I inhale deeply when Justin slowly begins sliding into me, a soft hiss escaping him in the process.

"Oh gosh." I moan, my hold on him tightening as he sinks into me, expanding my walls.

"Fuck." Justin groans, his fingers digging into my thighs as he pants lightly, his chest rising and falling harshly.

I arch my back a little when he pulls almost all the way out then sinks back into me with one powerful thrust.

Justin growls softly, keeping a firm grip on me as he sets a steady pace and my toes curl as I hold his gaze, his eyes filled with so many emotions it's almost unbearable.

"Tell me you love me Lilah." He whispers, leaning forward to kiss my lips lightly as he drives me crazy with how he's working me out.

"What? Justin..." Why is he...what's going on with him?

"Tell me." He demands, his thrusts picking up power and speed.

I swallow harshly, biting back the light scream that's on the tip of my tongue when he finally finds my g-spot. His brows curve partially when I tense and he knows he's found it.

"Justin...why do you want me to..." I drift off, my voice failing me as ripples of pleasure surge through my body, my stomach feeling light and airy as Justin continues thrusting in and out of me, never slowing his pace, his hips moving fluidly.  

"Because..." he pants, bowing his head slightly as he takes in how we're connected before he reestablishes eye contact with me. "I need to hear you say it." He pleads, his voice soft and grainy.

I feel my heart flutter when I take in the almost sad expression on his face, but it disappears quickly and it's replaced by concentration mixed with pleasure.

"Justin." I coo, gripping his face with my palms and pulling him in until our naked bodies are perfectly fused together, the heat between us making us numb to the air-conditioned room. "I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. I'm not going anywhere." I admit, fully embracing the concept for the first time since I've said those words to him.

He's searching my eyes now, a soft moan escaping him when my walls constrict around him since my orgasm is drawing near. I'm a little scared at how raw and untamed his emotions tend to be whenever we're like this. Sex with him is mind-blowing and emotional and I really don't do well with emotions.

"Promise?" He asks, a small smile curling into the corners of his lips.

"Promise." I voice, feeling like I can truly keep this promise to him. I know I'll try my damn near hardest and then some.

"Ok." He breathes deeply, leaning in to press his lips against mine as his speed slows down a bit. He grips under my thighs and lifts my legs slightly higher around his slender waist so he can sink deeper and that's all it takes for me to feel that tightened feeling in my abdomen as my orgasm starts pushing to the surface.

My breaths are short and choppy and I can hardly control my moans as Justin steals the air right out of my lungs, his soft lips molding with mine perfectly.

When I feel his hips jerk slightly, I know he's close to his release too but he keeps his rhythm nonetheless, his fingernails lightly grazing over my thighs as his body begins to tense.

I break our lip-lock, sucking in air, trying to hold out a little longer to relish in how amazing this feels but Justin shakes his head, his beautiful blues absorbing my features closely.

"Let it out baby." He coaxes me, his thrusts long and deep and I nibble on my bottom lip nodding as I relax my muscles, allowing my orgasm to rip through me violently. I gasp, my orbs widening as my vision blurs due to the intensity of my orgasm.  

Justin follows soon after, letting out a deep grunt as he reaches his climax, warming my insides with his release.

He loosens the tight grip he has on my legs before his big strong hands slowly trail up my sides, gliding over my stomach and gripping my breasts softly until they make their way to my hair.

We remain in place, neither of us moving as we try to catch our breath. Justin has a small satisfied grin on his face and I smile at him lazily, my fingertips now tracing patterns over his chest lightly as he moves my hair out of my face and behind my ears.

"So..." he begins and I sigh.

"So?" I gesture for him to continue but he doesn't. He simply resorts to staring at me.  "Ok, you're being creepy now Justin." I giggle and he shrugs, still staring.

"I've been thinking." He says and I nod, waiting for him to continue. "What exactly are your plans when you graduate at the end of the school year?"

"Uh...get a job?" I muse and he rolls his eyes, finally sliding out of me. I pout lightly at the absence before he helps me off the table.

I look at the piece of furniture thinking he's definitely going to have to come back in here and clean it, or I could do it for him if he wanted. Ha!

"We should get dressed." He voices, quickly finding his boxers and slipping them on before he helps me gather my clothes.

A calm silence falls between us as we put back on all of our clothes before Justin lifts his head to look at me.

"Lilah, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to answer honestly." Justin states.

"Ok." I agree, waiting for him to continue as I use my hands to try and fix my hair the best way I can.

"Could you see yourself maybe...I don't know...moving out here after graduation to possibly pursue your art career?" He inquires.

The moment he asks me this I think of my brother and that fact that he asked me practically the same thing earlier at the party.

"Don't do well with long distance relationships huh?" I joke and Justin chuckles, gripping my hand in his.

"Actually, you're lucky to be seeing me this much considering our situation and the fact that I'm tied to that school until I've done all my time." He points out. I will never understand why he insists that the school is a prison. I guess because he's so used to being free and able to move from place to place as he wishes. "With my career, I'm always traveling. So, when I get back to my life...and you're a part of it....you won't be seeing me as often. I'm going to need you to be ok with that." He divulges and I nod, finally understanding his concern.

"Yes, I could see myself moving out here...if that's what it takes to be close to you as much as possible." I confess and he shakes his head, visibly relaxing by my statement.

"Right. We should probably start getting back to the party before people start looking for us." He chuckles and I laugh softly, agreeing with him as he squeezes my hand gently before leading us out of his mini studio.

We easily fall into comfortable conversation, talking and laughing as we head back to our family and friends...

*****

Justin and I are so busy conversing while holding hands as we make our way back to the party that I'm taken aback when he suddenly turns quiet, his voice fading out as he stops walking abruptly.

I frown, looking at him before following his line of sight, my body turning partially as I do so.

I feel my chest tighten at the sight of my mom and dad standing in the near distance talking to Justin's mom and...and...

"Jessica's here?"  I ask lightly and Justin looks at me before his focus is back on our parents.

They haven't seen us yet from where they are standing in the hallway, close to the game room where the party is being held. I can hear the faint hums of the music playing inside there, the closed door concealing the volume level.

Justin releases the hold he has on me and he takes a few steps forward, clearing his throat, grasping everyone's attention.

"Oh! There you all are!" My mom is the first to speak as she looks at Justin and then at me with a warm smile on her face.

"Mom?" I question as she comes over to me to give me a light hug and kiss on the cheek. "What's going on?" And where the heck is Marco when I need him?

"Baby, you're missing your own party. Where did you all disappear to?" My mom asks jovially, but I ignore her, my vision trained on Jessica and Justin's mom.

Justin's mom looks slightly upset and my dad seems to be simply standing off in the corner, keeping to himself.

Justin turns around to look at my mom with a smile. "I was just showing Lilah around my studio room Linda, since she's never been in there." He grins and I fight back a blush as I avoid eye contact with him.

"You mean the same studio you always said was off limits? That it was your own personal space?"

That was Jessica and I'm pretty sure her tone was bitter and biting for a reason. I take it she's never been in Justin's studio before, the same place we just made love in only moments earlier. Again, I find myself trying my damndest not to blush. And judging by the look on Justin's face, I'd say he was starting to get pissed off.

"Why are you here Jess?" He asks calmly, but before Jess can respond, Justin's mom beats her to the punch.

"I invited her over Justin." Lynn explains and I don't think I want to be here for this.

"Wait, what? Why?" Justin asks his mom and she shrugs.

"Jess is like a daughter to me Justin. I considered her a part of the family once if you're forgetting." Lynn voices. "I only wanted to catch up. I didn't know you all were barely speaking. I thought your little surprise party for Delilah would have been a good time for us to ‘hang out' as you young folks put it."  Lynn laughs softly.

I groan, dipping my head when my mom wraps her arm around my shoulders, the smile on her face never fading.

"Uh...ok." Justin states, not really knowing what to say to that. "So..." But Lynn cuts him off.

"I just find it interesting that I had to hear from the Marshalls here about your little trip to Boston not too long ago, in depth. Oh and having your manager Johnny call me to ask me about you and your..." She trails as she looks at me. "...girlfriend here, after you all were spotted at the supermarket shopping together is well...well I'd appreciate it if I didn't have to hear about my son from everyone else except him." Lynn explains and I watch how Justin's face pales by her statement.

I know he's close to his mom so I can only imagine how she must feel now being out of the loop.

"Ma, can we not talk about this right now?" Justin pleads and Lynn waves her hands in dismissal, granting his request.

"Fine. I'm sorry." Lynn apologizes. "Delilah sweetie, forgive me if I've made you feel uncomfortable. That's not my intention. I'm simply trying to understand what's been going on with my son these days." Lynn smiles and I nod in understanding.

"It's ok." I say in a small voice.

"Ok, ok, this is...too awkward even for me." Justin cuts in. "Mom, Jess, enjoy your girl bonding time. Mr. and Mrs. Marshall, if you guys would like, feel free to join us back at the party." Justin takes charge, coming back over to grip my hand before he walks by his mom, stopping to give her a light kiss on the cheek.

He completely ignores Jessica who's eyeing us silently before he escorts my parents and me back into the game room.

Once we're inside, I spot Marco talking and laughing with Trace, Rachel, Sandra and Michelle in their own little circle. My dad quickly excuses himself to join them and say 'hi' I'd assume while my mom stays behind, standing next Justin and me.

"Justin, I'm going to hold you to that tour of William Rast before we head back to Boston!" My mom voices over the blaring music.

Justin turns to look at her with a rather huge grin on his face and I can't help but roll my eyes at them.

"You got it Linda! It would be my pleasure." He replies and she claps lightly in excitement.

Ugh!

I don't know why, but I'm kind of upset with how easy it was for my parents to fall in love with Justin. I know I shouldn't be; I should be grateful. He barely had any work to do on his end. Hell he barely had to turn on any charm and he had my mom hooked.  I guess I just thought that after my experience with Ethan, my parents would have been a little more hard-ass with any guy that came into the picture. Not that Justin is someone they should worry about, because he's amazing and I'm sure they see that. I mean, even Marco likes him!

It's just, maybe I'm feeling this way because it's so easy for Justin to fit in perfectly with my family and life and for me, when it comes to his life, to his family and friends, I have to really try and I feel like it's not fair, like it shouldn't be this hard to be accepted into his circle.

Yes, I get why his family and friends would be guarded considering he's a celebrity and all that jazz. But I can't shake the feeling that no matter how hard I try not everyone is going to be fully pleased with me in the equation. More importantly, his mom seems quite hesitant to the idea of us being together, even if she's been nothing but nice to me. If Justin's mom feels this way, what will his fans and the public think and feel when they really find out about me?

31. Hello, Goodbye…

Days Later

LA, California

At LAX

“I love you. We’re going to call each other and stay in touch as often as possible ok?” I whisper, leaning down to kiss her softly. I cup her face with my palms, my fingertips grazing over her cheeks lightly.

“Ok…” Lilah replies, clutching her carryon luggage.

“You should tell the guys bye.” I voice softly, reluctantly allowing her to pull away from me so she can tell the others goodbye as I look on silently.

I sigh, my blues traveling around the busy airport, not caring who sees us at this point. I was determined to at least see Lilah off this time. There was nothing Rachel and Trace could do to stop me or convince me otherwise. In fact, I was so persistent on the matter that my bodyguard Mike had to come along with us. Not only that, but we got the airport to temporarily block off a small section so I could say my goodbyes to Lilah and not be disturbed. I don’t like throwing around my status for perks but, it’s for a good reason and as soon as I leave, everything will be back to normal.

Right, so, I have Mike, Rachel and Trace here with me who are telling Lilah their goodbyes. I asked my mom to come along but she declined and instead wished Lilah a safe trip back at home. I’m not sure how I feel about that but I’m not going to think about it now. I’m going to avoid having any kind of talk with my mom for as long as possible.

We also have a handful of paparazzi close to the entrance of the airport trying to get in. But I don’t care about any of that and neither does Lilah since she’s been tearing nonstop the moment we got here.

This is it. We had a great time in Cali together minus a few upsets. This experience definitely gave me a sneak peek into what life could possibly be like with Lilah around. But, she’s going back on a plane to Boston today and with summer almost over, the next time we meet will be back at Higher Heights. I’m excited and terrified at the idea. I’m not sure how going back to that place for another semester is going to be. I know things won’t be the same, but at the same time, I can’t determine if they’ll be better or worse. I don’t want her to go, I really don’t. But, it’s only fair that she gets to go back home and enjoy the remainder of her summer with her family who left a few days ago.

Ask for me, well, I’ll be here, in LA living my life, catching up on work I’ve been neglecting or pushing back. I have the clothing line with Trace, a few studio sessions, some appearances to do and the golf tournament for the Shriner’s benefit to deal with.

The funny thing in all of this is, I was so caught up in the change my life took that I forgot about the real reason why I ended up at Higher Heights in the first place; but the public hasn’t. The media and my fans haven’t. My manager hasn’t. I’m only saying this because I got a call from my manager Johnny Wright yesterday reminding me that this whole boarding school experience would soon be over. That’s well and good, but, it was only a matter of time before my real life conflicted with the one I built at that school.

It’s not that I have two separate lives but…the idea of having cameras follow me around was never part of the agreement. Yet, I found out yesterday that there are going to be cameras present for my last semester at that school. It’s not a reality show by any means, but, Johnny insisted that it would be good for the segment they were going to put together with the same talk show I was on that landed me into this craziness.

‘We only need a few shots of you doing the school thing.’ He said. ‘Academics and sports, the cameras won’t be there forever...just the first few weeks and then on graduation. Think about how good this will be for publicity and your image Justin.’ He said. He better believe I’ll be holding him to his word. I get that it’s good for my career or whatever since I haven’t been pushing to release a new album. But, I’m not so keen on the idea. Plus, I haven’t told Lilah about it, about what Johnny said. ‘I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into with this girl Justin. It’s harder when they haven’t experienced or can’t relate to this lifestyle.’ Johnny told me. I understood what he meant. But, I hated hearing him say it. It’s harder because Lilah isn’t a Hollywood starlet and already a part of Hollywood. She’s a normal girl; she’s no celebrity. And I get that. I actually love that she’s not tainted by the lifestyle.  

I’m not sure how I’m going to tell her about those cameras. It’s one thing being outside of Higher Heights. But, bringing cameras into that school will only prove to the public that Lilah and I are…well, a couple. I’m not going to avoid her just because cameras are going to be around. If anything, this might be the best way to break the news to the public and my fans. Still, I think I’m going to wait on the telling her part. I think she deserves to enjoy the rest of her summer with as little worry as possible…

“I’m going to miss you guys so much.” Lilah voices, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I stand in place, stuffing my hands into my jeans pockets as I eye her, a light smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I think about how cute she looks with her hairdo. Raven hair really looks amazing on her. It gives her an edge. And, it's sexy. I think I’m going to request that she keeps her hair that color.

“Oh girl, you know we’ll miss you too. But we’ll be seeing you during the semester so no worries. You know that we must come to visit you guys.” Rachel speaks up and Lilah nods, her grey-browns locked onto my blues.

“Right. Well, no need to prolong this.” She perks up, wiping at her eyes.

In that moment, we hear the announcement to board for Lilah’s flight over the airport's intercom system.

I chuckle a bit when she quickly rushes up to us and gives us all quick hugs before she takes a few steps back.

“I love you guys! I’ll see you soon! Bye!” Lilah waves farewell and Rachel, Trace and Mike wave goodbye to her.

I remain in my spot, keeping my hands in my pockets, but I give her a light nod as we all stand silently, watching her depart. I watch closely as she fixes her charm bracelet before she pulls out her boarding pass to hand to the flight agent at her gate.

She turns to look at us one last time before she disappears down the walkway towards the plane that’s going to whisk her back to her home.

And now that she’s gone, I release a sigh before turning on my heels to leave.

“Hey Justin, wait up! Aren’t you going to wait to see Delilah’s plane takeoff?” Rachel inquires, catching up to me.

I shake my head, signaling a 'no.' Why should I? It’s bad enough that I feel like some emotional female on the verge of tears.

“Cat got your tongue J?” Trace teases me, nudging me lightly and I shrug. “You know, you could have told Delilah bye that last time.”

“I already told her goodbye.” I state softly. “Now, I’m waiting for when we meet again so I can say hello.” I add in and I hear Rachel gushing next to me.

“Oh my god Justin! That’s so sweet!” She coos. Sometimes, Rachel is a sucker for love and all the mushy stuff.

“Corny is more like it.” Trace chortles and I shake my head at them.

“Uh huh.” I laugh, but my laughs die out when we finally make it to the exit of the airport.

Mike quickly moves in, shielding me from the endless flashes and screams that ensue. Rachel and Trace easily lead the way for us to get by. Fucking paparazzi I tell you. Sometimes, I’m totally cool with them and other times, like now when I only want to be left alone, they really know how to piss me off.

“Justin! Justin!”

“Justin we think it’s great that you came to tell your girlfriend goodbye!”

“Justin, is Delilah the reason you visited Boston some time ago? That is where she’s from right?”

“What can we expect from you and miss Marshall once you get back to school?”

“Will you be taking her to any events you have coming up like your Shriner’s benefit?”

“Justin, what does Delilah think of Jessica? Or better yet, what does Jessica think of Delilah?”

My pace falters at the mention of Jessica and Delilah. Why can’t they get off this shit? Why do they keep comparing these two women who are so very different? Why the fuck are these assholes so persistent in implying that I’m involved with both women at the same time?

Mike notices my hesitancy and his eyes widen slightly in warning. “Justin don’t do it.” He voices sternly, but I ignore him, whipping around to face the photographer who voiced that last question. I can hear Rachel and Trace calling out to me for us to simply leave, but I ignore them too.

“You guys have it wrong. Jessica and I aren’t together anymore. We’ve agreed to go our separate ways.” I state simply, getting ready to leave, but the guy’s next statement surprises me.

“Really Justin? Because that’s not how Miss Biel put it.”

My eyes narrow as I clench my fists tightly. Goddamn it I want to hit the prick and wipe the smugness off his face.

“Justin…come on let’s go.” Mike demands, pulling me along with him.

With one last glance around, I cave and allow Mike to lead us away from the madness and back to the vehicle we came in so we can head home.

This isn’t over. I need to know what that jerk meant. And, there’s only one way I’m going to find out what’s going on…

*****

I stomp into my home, still pissed off from that paparazzi encounter we had at the airport earlier. They couldn’t just leave us alone. They couldn’t simply let me miss Lilah in peace. Oh no, the fuckers saw an opportunity to grill me and they took it. Yes, maybe answering them wasn’t the best decision but shit, I was only setting them straight.

Then the asshole made that comment about Jessica which has me wondering what bullshit she’s been feeding them behind my back. Or maybe she hasn't said anything to the paps because she usually doesn't speak to them. Maybe she's been telling other people shit about us. You know what? Fuck it. I’ll call her and tell her we need to talk. It’s simple. If she’s confused about any of the shit I told her which clearly stated we were through, then I’ll tell her again. I'll make sure I'm super clear this time around.

“Justin sweetie? Is that you?”

I cringe slightly when I hear my mother’s voice coming from the kitchen area.

“Yeah ma! We’re back!” I call out, ambling into the living room and plopping down on my couch. Trace and Rachel follow behind me silently.

Mike dropped us off and headed home so it’s just the three of us, and my mom now.

I’m not in the mood to do much today. I think I’m perfectly content with staying home and missing Lilah’s presence for the day.

Rachel and Trace haven’t said much because they know I’m upset but that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for their company.

“I’ll see if a game is on.” Trace speaks up, grabbing the remote and hitting the power button.

“And please skip over any media celebrity shit you come across.” I tell him and he nods slowly.

“It looks like things are getting worse with the paparazzi Justin.” Trace adds in and I groan.

“Trace is right Justin. You need to do something about it.” Rachel interjects.

“What would you all suggest I do huh?” I snap at them.

“Delilah can’t handle this Justin. She’s not used to this life. They haven’t started dissecting her yet. They’re still trying to get the facts straight because you all haven’t exactly gone public with your relationship. Though, that comment you made at the airport might shed some light on the situation. What are you going to do when the media starts digging up any and everything they can find out about her life to put her on a chopping block? Trust me, Delilah won’t be able to deal. I mean, you should have seen the horror on her face when we got cornered by the paps the day of her birthday, when we were leaving the mall…” Trace drifts off when my head snaps in his direction.

“What? You all got approached by the paparazzi on her birthday?” I ask in disbelief.

“Shit. I’m sorry man. I wasn’t supposed to tell you; she was. I thought she maybe did. I don’t know. Don’t tell her anything Justin. Let her tell you first.”

I glare at Trace, feeling a little hurt that Lilah would ask him to keep something like this from me. And he fucking went along with it.

“And you didn’t think I deserved to know those fucks were harassing my girl?” I inquire again. Before Trace can respond I cut him off. “You know T, it’s one thing for them to bug us when we’re together or even when I’m alone. But to come at Lilah when she’s by herself? Yes you were there. But I’m sure they were focused on her. What does that tell you?”

“I don’t know Justin. That they’ll try to get to her no matter what?” Trace shrugs and I nod as dread washes over me.

“That tells us that Lilah stands a chance of getting harassed by those jerks at any time…even at her home. Meaning, she doesn’t have to be around us. She could be out, alone, and those fucks would still bother her. They’d treat her like any other celebrity they could cash in on. That’s great...that’s fucking perfect.” I hiss, shaking my head sadly.

I never thought that far. I never expected the public to take such an interest in her so quickly. But I guess that’s partly our fault. We didn’t give them much to go on. They’re letting their curiosity drive them. This is bad. I have to find a way to fix this without giving Lilah a reason to panic. But first thing’s first…

I pull out my cell phone and quickly scroll through my contacts looking for Jessica’s number. I used to know her other number by heart, but she recently got a new line so…

“Guys? I’m getting an early start on dinner for everyone. Is there anything in particular you all want me to make?”

I pause at the sound of my mom’s voice. Slowly, I turn around in my seat to see her standing at the entrance of the living room with an apron tied loosely around her waist.

“Uh, no mom. Make whatever.” I shrug and Rachel quickly stands to approach her.

“I’ll help!” Rachel says enthusiastically and mom smiles before she focuses back on me.

“Justin, baby, when you get a chance, I think we need to have a talk. Did you all see Delilah off?”

“We did.” Trace responds and I nod, getting up to excuse myself so I can call Jess, but my mom stops me again.

“Justin…” She voices and I sigh, staring at her.

“Whatever you’re going to say mom, can it wait please? We’ll have that talk.” I lie. I don’t want to talk if she’s only going to lecture me about Lilah which I’m sure she is. “But, I really need to give Jess a call right now.” I point out and her eyes light up at the mention of Jessica. Seriously? I’m going to pretend like I didn’t see her ‘happy’ reaction.

“Oh that’s perfect. I was thinking of inviting her over for dinner as well. But after what happened the night of Delilah’s birthday, I wanted to ask you first…” She drifts and I look at Rachel and Trace who are silent, awaiting my response.

I scratch at my chin lightly in thought as I hit the call button on my cell phone and begin making my way to another part of the house. “I’ll tell Jess mom.” I simply state before leaving.

I’m not up for having Jessica over but, maybe I could use the time wisely and talk to her about what’s been going on in person. I’m sick and tired of all this shit and I intend on putting an end to it one way or the other.

I also need to find a way to get my mom to soften up to the idea of Lilah. I don’t think Lilah is the problem because I can tell my mom likes her for the most part. I think it’s the whole boarding school thing and the fact that my mom doesn’t know much about what’s been going on with me this year. Maybe we do need to have a chat.

“Hello Justin?”

Jessica’s voice comes floating through the line and I sigh heavily as I walk towards my pool, heading in the direction of the lake on my estate.

“Hey Jess.” I voice softly.

“Hi!” She says in surprise. “Wow, um, I haven’t transferred any of my contacts to this new phone yet, but I recognized your number. How have you been?” She asks and I groan.

“Lilah went back home today but I’m fine…” I mutter.

“Oh. I see. So…”

“Jess, I need to talk to you.” I jump right to the point.

“Justin whatever it is…”

“No.” I cut her off. “You need to come over. We’re doing this in person.”

“Oh so now  that your little girlfriend is away you want me around?” She snaps and I sigh in annoyance as I stroll along the small path to the lake where I can be alone to clear my mind.

“Come on Jess. It’s nothing like that.” I state.

“Then what is it?” She asks softly.

“No, we’re not doing this on the phone. Come over, around eight.”

“Justin, I’m not going to…”

“At eight Jess.” I interrupt her. “Oh and my mom invited you over for dinner. So, I’ll see you later…”

Before she can protest I end the call, stuffing my phone in my jeans pocket as I reach the lake and move over to take a seat on one of the benches.

I’m not worried. I know Jessica will show up. And when she does, I think I’m going to have a word with her about us going public with our breakup.

If I’m going to let Lilah into this life, there has to be no strings attached and no doubt in anyone’s mind that she’s the only woman for me. Because I swear, the next person who tries to sabotage our relationship, they’ll fucking regret it.

*****

Hours Later

Boston, MA

“Oh my god.  I can’t believe I’m back home. I know I wasn’t gone that long but it’s good to be back home. I missed everyone.” I say contently, my mood lifting when Marco turns the vehicle into our street.

Even if I spent most of my flight thinking about Justin and how much I’m missing him already, I’m happy to finally be back in my neck of the woods. This I can deal with. I can handle home. Plus, where we live is a simple neighborhood without all the glitz of Hollywood. I loved Cali and I know I only got all of the good things it had to offer because of Justin, Rachel and Trace, but there’s no place like home.

“We missed you too Lili and it was nice coming out for your birthday.” Marco admits and I nod, bouncing in my seat when our driveway comes into view.

“It was fun having you all out for my birthday.” I reply. That and my mom literally went nuts when Justin brought her into William Rast headquarters some odd days ago. It was hysterical and amazing because I got to see that side of Justin in action. He’s a true businessman; that much is clear. Even Trace was awesome when he took over part of the tour to show us around. We had fun that day.

And now, as Marco pulls up into our driveway and parks the ride, I can’t help the excitement that engulfs me as I undo my seatbelt and quickly exit, heading straight for the front door to greet my parents.

“Lili!” Marco calls out to me and I stop, turning around to look at him as he opens the trunk and proceeds to pull out my luggage.  “I’ve been holding off telling you something that you need to know before you step foot inside.”

“What is it Marco?” I ask impatiently.

He hauls my luggage behind him, taking a deep breath before he speaks. “Ethan’s here.” He drawls out and I gasp, my eyes widening.

What the hell did my brother just say? He can’t be serious.

“What do you mean Ethan’s here?” Maybe I heard wrong.

“He’s here, inside, with mom, dad and Ryan…”

That’s as far as Marco gets before I bust through the front door of my home in haste.

I quicken my pace towards the living room where I hear voices as my heartbeat increases. Slight worry and panic starts setting in as I round the corner and my orbs settle on my mother, father, Ryan and yes, Ethan. Ethan’s in my living room and my parents aren’t trying to kill him. Marco doesn’t look pissed off and I think my heart is on the verge of exploding inside my chest.

“Ethan…” I wheeze, taking in deep calm breaths.

The sound of my voice startles everyone since they were deep in conversation. Ethan turns to face me, standing in the process.

My grey-browns take in the sight of him in dark jeans, a dark t-shirt with a cap on his head and a light smile on his face. My stomach twists into knots as my mind starts going haywire. Why is he here? Why is he here in Boston when he should be in New York? Why in the world does everyone seem ok with him being here? Oh my god…

“Why are you here?” I blurt out, shaking my head in displeasure. “You shouldn’t be here.” I voice frantically.

“Delilah, hunny calm down.” My mother says gently but I ignore her. I ignore them all, including Ryan and Marco who just strolled in with my luggage in tow. The only person I’m focused on right now is Ethan.

When he looks at me apprehensively I huff in aggravation, folding my arms across my chest. Am I missing something? This is not happening!

“Why are you here Ethan?!” I shout this time and he flinches due to my harsh tone.

“Hello Delilah.” He voices lowly, his tone cautious. “You look good.” He nods, giving me a coy smile and I frown, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my cool.

“Don’t 'hello Delilah' me! Why are you here?”

“Ok, ok, relax.” He states, raising his hands in defeat. “Do you remember when I called you some time back?”

How could I forget? I had to endure Justin’s unpleasant attitude for the rest of the night after that call. Yes, I figured out Ethan calling was the reason for Justin switching into a bad mood on me that night.

“Yes and?” We spoke; he told me what he had to, I replied and the conversation was over. There’s no need for him to be here now.

“Well, I did what I said I would do. I spoke to my dad. I told him this feud he had with Mr. Marshall had to end. I pushed and pushed until I got him to pull back on the statement he was going to release in regards to his ‘so called’ experiences with your parents real estate business. You don’t have to worry. Their business is safe.” Ethan assures me and I scowl deeply, glaring at him.

“That still doesn’t explain your presence.” I snap rudely.

“Right well, I figured, since my dad has too much pride to do this himself, it was only fair that I came here to apologize to the family in person on behalf of my dad and myself and to let you all know how deeply sorry I am. Look, Delilah, I know you still hate me, and you have every right to. But, I had an interesting summer and I took some time to put things into perspective. This bad blood between our families has gone on long enough and it’s time someone put an end to it. It’s affecting all of our lives. Plus, it was Ryan’s idea I did this in person and not on the phone. I came when I was told you’d be coming back today. Don’t worry, I’m leaving tomorrow. I’m staying in one of the hotels on the other side of town. I just needed to come here and at least make my peace so even if you couldn’t forgive me, maybe your parents could start to.”

Ethan ends his explanation with a light shrug before he breaks eye contact with me, bowing his head slightly. Now I’m super curious with what Ryan was trying to tell me or not tell me at my birthday party.

This has to be a joke though. Ethan must think I’m really stupid. If he thinks that sucking up his pride long enough to come out here to spit his bullshit to us will make everything ok, then he’s a lot dumber than he looks. He may have my family fooled since they don’t seem to be angry with him right now but I’m not stupid. He’s maybe doing this to throw me for a loop and to get me to let my guard down. But, I’m not buying it.

After a moment of silence, I finally speak up. “I don’t believe you. There’s stuff you’re not telling us.”

“Delilah!” My mother scolds me and I glare at her. “Ethan’s done a brave thing. He may not be on our favorite persons list, but he’s trying. You should acknowledge that. He’s never done this before.” She points out and I roll my eyes.

How gullible can my parents be? Well, my mom anyways. Judging by the look on my dad’s face and the fact that he’s quiet, I’d say he’s not pleased with Ethan being here either. I know he’s not simply going to believe anything Ethan has to say off the bat, even if Mr. Landing is a much bigger jerk than his son.

“Exactly mom! So why now? Why after all this time? I’m not buying it. You’re up to something Ethan. Or, this has something to do with Justin.” I spit and I note how Ethan winces at the mention of Justin.

“No.” He swallows harshly. “I’m simply trying to do the right thing...”

“Ok then. Well in that case, your apology is on file. We’ll contact you after it finishes processing. No promises though.” I say curtly before turning away from everyone to head upstairs to my room. “You should maybe leave now Ethan. You’ve overstayed your welcome.” As I head towards the stairs, I pause to look at my family, ignoring Ethan this time.  “Oh and thanks for the great welcome home greeting everyone!” I mutter sarcastically. “It’s ok, I’m still happy to be back home.” I voice gently this time, shaking my head woefully as I climb the stairs by twos.

You know what? I’m over summer break. I can’t wait to get back to Higher Heights to start my last semester. Even though Ethan’s going to be there I don’t care because Justin will be there also and I’ll get to see him again and we’ll be together.

Having Justin there for my last semester at that school will be enough for me to look forward to finally leaving that place, hopefully, on a high note.

32. The Little Things In-between

Days Later

Ending of August

Staples Center - LA, California

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” – Robert Brault

“So what are you wearing now? Clothes are so overrated.” I utter softly, laughing when Lilah growls loudly over the line.

“Are you seriously trying to start some phone sex thing with me now Justin?” She giggles. “You’re in public, at the freaking Staples center.” She continues laughing and I chuckle along with her.

“You’re right, but it’s kinky and we should definitely try that…”

“I don’t think so.” She snickers.

“I’ll get you to…one day.” I say confidently while looking around.

“If you say so.”

“I do.” I snigger, keeping my cell phone placed firmly against my ear as I stare down at the clipboard in my other hand. I read over the performance set list for the night, smiling.

As I stroll down the busy halls backstage, I say ‘hi’ to a few crew members on this tour before my attention diverts back to Lilah when I hear her release a soft sigh.

“I know. I miss you too baby.” I voice, knowing the cause for her sudden silence.

“I wish I could have stayed longer to be there to see you perform.” She divulges, her tone laced with disappointment.

I suck in my bottom lip between my teeth, nodding though she can’t see me. I won’t admit it, but I’m slightly relieved that she’s not here to see me do this. It’s not my tour or my show, but having her there with me while I’m on stage would probably cause a level of nervousness I’ve never felt in years having to perform for an audience.

“I would have loved if you were there to see me perform too babe.” I lie. It’s not that I don’t want her to see me in action. I’m simply unsure on if I’m ready for her to see me in that light.

“Yea…” She drifts and I hear shuffling on her end. “Well, I hope you have fun. Even if she doesn’t know me, tell your girl Esmee I said to have a wonderful show. And give Rachel and Trace my love when you see them.”

“I will.” I stop walking, now standing in front of Esmee’s dressing room as I listen to Lilah’s steady breathing over the line. I’m still astounded by how much I’m in love with this woman. “Hey, I’ll call you later when the show is over ok? We’ll talk about getting back to school and please don't worry too much about the visit you got from the jerk.” I state, not liking that Ethan showed up at Lilah’s home when she got back to Boston. I’m glad she told me about it even if she hasn’t gone into detail yet. I don’t trust the guy. I’m sure Lilah was right to suspect him being up to something. I’m thinking about confronting the asshole when we get back to Higher Heights, but I’d probably have to do it when the cameras aren’t around…which reminds me… “Oh and there’re some things I want to talk to you about also.” I append when Lilah remains quiet on the line.

“Such as?” She questions, her voice lower than normal. I know she misses me but she’s not helping the situation with how apparent she’s being.

I grin, my grip on the phone loosening as I get ready to pull it away from my ear. “I’ll tell you later. Don’t worry about it. I have to go now. I love you. See you in two days.” My smile widens when I think of how close I am to having her back in my sight and my arms.

“Ok, love you too. Bye Justin.” Lilah says a bit more lively this time before she hangs up.

I end the call and stuff my phone in my jeans pocket before inhaling deeply.

Carefully, I swing the door to the dressing room open and step inside, my blues immediately landing on Trace and Esmee Denters, one of the artists signed to my record label. It’s her show. She’s touring the country promoting her latest album which I helped produce and one of the stops on her tour brought her to my vicinity. We’re at the Staples Center in LA where she’ll be putting on one of her shows tonight and I’m one of her guest artists. I’ll be appearing for three of her songs to perform with her so I had quite a busy day today rehearsing, doing sound checks and getting ready for the show.

“There you are Justin! We were about to come looking for you. It’s time for wardrobe; we’re going on soon.” Esmee explains and I nod, stepping aside when the wardrobe, hair and makeup stylists enter the dressing room only seconds later.

“Right. Let’s do this.” I voice enthusiastically, rubbing my hands together.

“Are you excited Justin?” Trace questions and I give him my full attention, frowning when I notice that he has his phone pointed in my face. “I mean, it’s been a while since you’ve been up on stage performing.”

“I’m fine. And what are you doing Trace?” I ask, trying to move away from him but he follows me.

“What does it look like? I’m documenting this moment.” He indicates and my frown deepens.

“Why?”

“For Delilah.” He simply states and I glower at him.

“Again…why?” I inquire.

“Figured she’d like to see a behind the scenes clip before you go out on stage in front of thousands of people. You know…some personalized footage where she can see you in your element.” He explains.

“Uh huh.” I drawl, eyeing him.

“So Justin, do you have any remarks before you’re kidnapped by the psycho hair, makeup and wardrobe ladies?” Trace asks. His statement earns him a smack in the head with a brush before he groans out in pain. “Ouch! Monica, what the fuck?!” He belts at the hairstylist and she gives him a baleful smile.

“Watch your mouth Trace; we are sane women doing our job. Don’t make the person you’re filming this for think we’re crazy boy.” Monica hisses at him and he rolls his eyes before he turns the camera back on me mumbling.

“Your actions speak otherwise Monica.” Trace wisecracks and I burst out laughing.

“Ok, Lilah, if you see this, Trace just got hit in the head with a brush. The moral of this story is to never mess with the hairstylist. You’re not missing anything girl.” I talk to the camera on his phone, still laughing before I move to take a seat in front of the vanity mirror. Esmee follows me, giggling softly as we allow the women to get to work on us.

Trace continues filming us silently for a while before he speaks up again, now in a slightly pissed off mood. “Any last words? I’m ending this. I’ll resume when you guys hit the stage.” Trace points out.

“Fine. Bye babe! See you soon!” I turn to Esmee, signaling for her to say bye to the camera as well. “Say bye Es. Oh and Lilah wished you a good show.”

“How sweet! Hey Delilah! Thanks! I haven’t met you but Justin won’t shut up about you…” That’s as far as Esmee gets before I cut her off.

“Ok, Lilah doesn’t need to know that.” I chuckle, grabbing the phone from Trace to end the recording.

I hand him back the device and he stuffs it in his pocket before he takes a seat on one of the lounge chairs. He grabs the remote and switches on the television as Esmee gets her hair done and I start rummaging through the clothes on the rack.

“So, who’s Delilah Justin?” Monica asks casually as she styles Esmee’s hair.

I pause, turning to face her with a wistful smile on my face. “She’s…” I drift, my thoughts running rampant.  My smile widens as I think about Monica’s question. “She’s everything to me.” I finally answer and Monica releases a small ‘aw’ in admiration. “I love her.” I voice, feeling like it's the first time I’m actually realizing this. “I’d do just about anything for her and…” I lock eyes with Trace who’s giving me a knowing grin. I shake my head at him, redirecting my attention back to Monica. “I really think she might be it for me. She could be the one. At least, I hope she will be, because the more time that passes, the more I can’t imagine anyone else after her.”

*****

Boston, MA

Sometime Later

“Ugh, I’m so tired and I haven’t even finished packing.” I mumble, lounging with Marco in one of our favorite Chinese restaurants as we wait for our orders in the takeout section so we can leave.

“Then when we get home, you should take a rest. You still have two days before you head off to New York.” Marco explains.

Sighing, I rest back in my seat, my orbs scanning the many faces in the restaurant. “Marco, I’m nervous.” I admit and he chuckles beside me. “Don’t laugh!” I groan, smiling. “It’s not like I’ll have you with me when I go back to school.” I pout.

“What exactly are you nervous about?” He enquires and I turn to look at him, taking in his ridiculous afro. It looks good on him though. We lock eyes and I smile, understanding a little why Justin was so fascinated by my eye color since Marco’s eyes are about the same. They really stand out.

“I don’t know. I’m nervous about being back in that school with Justin and Ethan and everyone! You know about the paparazzi encounters we had. I’m sure my face is probably everywhere by now though I’ll not do the research to find out. I’d rather not know how much of a big deal the public is making this. The point is what are the other Higher Heights students going to think, say or even do when they see us? I don’t want my last semester to be filled with uncomfortable stares, gossiping and all that. I don’t want to think people are saying shit about me behind my back or when I pass by.” I shake my head sadly, realizing that having an amazing last semester is going to be harder than I thought.

“Lili, these things are going to happen regardless. You shouldn’t let that bug you too much though. It’s nothing compared to what you had to deal with when the whole Ethan incident happened in freshman year.”

“Exactly Marco! I guess I’m scared some crazy shit like that will happen again. You know how much Justin and Ethan hate each other. When we left for summer break, Justin and I were still only friends. But now, we’re together which means he’ll probably be more protective of me. And the fact that Ethan is on this act of burying the past, he’ll probably try talking to me, or suggesting some ludicrous notion like us being friends. How do you think that’ll turn out?”

Marco's smile falters as he absorbs my words. “Huh, you might be right. Justin doesn’t strike me as the talking type where Ethan’s concerned. I mean, despite his so called apology, I still want to beat Ethan’s ass.”

“Thank you.” I groan, knowing that it’ll be virtually impossible to keep Justin and Ethan away from each other. They’re on the basketball team together. I don’t see any of them quitting. They have too much pride for that.

I guess I’ll have to try my best to stay as far away from Ethan as possible to prevent Justin from having a reason to be upset.

“Well, don’t worry about it too much. It’s a huge school Lili. Simply avoid Ethan and focus on doing the best in your classes so you can graduate with honors.” Marco pats my leg before standing to accept our order when our number is called.

I stand as well, following him to the counter as I think about everything. My mission may be to avoid Ethan while we’re back at Higher Heights but I have every intention of getting Ryan to spill his guts on all the shit I know he’s not telling me. If he can help me to put this feud between our families to rest once and for all then my dear cousin will be seeing a lot of me when we go back to school for our last semester.

Once we have our food, Marco and I proceed to leave the restaurant so we can head home.

On our way out, we’re stopped by a group of girls who call out to me.

I hesitate, turning to look at the three girls who look no older than maybe seventeen.

Marco glares at them strangely as they approach us.

“Oh my god, you’re really Delilah aren’t you.” One of them mentions.

“Yes, can I help you?” I ask stupefied. I have no idea who they are or how they know me. This is kind of weird.

“I knew it! I told my friends it was you. Wow, um, can we get a picture with you? That would be so cool. If you don’t mind?” The same girl with long brunette hair smiles for me and I turn to look at my brother wearily.

“How do you all know my sister?” Marco questions and all three look at Marco in awe.

“Oh my god, you’re her brother?! Cool! You’re so handsome.” The redhead one states and Marco thanks her, staring at them suspiciously.

“I’m sorry. We just thought…well, you’re Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend right? I mean, you’re a big deal. And we think you’re gorgeous and we’re kind of excited that Justin chose to date a regular girl…” That’s as far as the brunette gets before I interrupt her, understanding completely now.

“I see. Well, I guess a picture is ok.” I reply. I can’t imagine what would happen if I said ‘no.’

“Great!” The brunette says happily, handing Marco her camera. “Could you please…”

“Sure.” Marco cuts in, grabbing the camera from her. He balances our food in one hand as he uses his other hand to switch on the camera and point it at the three girls.

I walk awkwardly towards them and they quickly move around me, throwing their arms around my shoulders and waist as they all smile for the picture.

I notice Marco laughing lightly at my discomfort as he points the camera in our direction getting ready to take the picture.

“Smile!” He chuckles and I force a smile before the flash goes off.

As soon as he takes the picture, the three girls move away from me, thanking us repeatedly before they retrieve their camera and bid us farewell, wishing us a good night.

Once they’re gone, Marco and I proceed to walk to our ride so we can head home.

He’s still chuckling and I shove him playfully as my senses remain engulfed with the strawberry perfume that brunette was wearing.

“Don’t you dare tease me about this Marco.” I warn him as we get to the jeep and hop in. He places the food down in the backseat before buckling up and bringing the ride to life.

“Wasn’t going to.” He chortles.

“Good.” I giggle, switching on the radio as he drives onto the main street.

“But I think you might be turning into a celebrity on your own.” He adds in and I exhale loudly.

“Price of being with Justin.” I simply state, that encounter not bothering me nearly as much as the paparazzi one.

“Doesn’t seem like a bad deal, as long as you can handle it and it doesn’t get out of hand.” Marco interjects, his tone firm and I nod in understanding.

Even if Marco likes Justin and approves of him for the most part, the protective big brother side of him is still alive and well.

Though being with Justin means my privacy will be compromised, I’ll try my best to deal with it because I think he’s worth it.

*****

LA, California

“Damn that was amazing! What a rush!” I shout over the music and screaming fans as I make my way off stage, leaving Esmee to finish up her show.

The crowd went crazy when I got on stage to perform with Esmee tonight. I almost forgot what that surge of energy and adrenaline felt like. It made me miss that side of my career. But, I have a lot of memories to be grateful for.

“And I got it all on camera.” Trace beams proudly, his thumbs moving over the keys on his phone fluidly. Seconds later he stuffs his phone in his pocket and I laugh loudly.

“Let me guess, you just sent the videos to Lilah’s phone.”

“I did.” He grins. “I think she’ll like them.” He adds in and I shake my head at him as we begin making our way back to the dressing rooms.

“Ok, well that was my last song with Esmee so she knows I’ll be leaving. I have to get home man. I need to pack up my shit since I won’t have much time tomorrow. I have to meet with Johnny to finalize the whole cameras following me around situation.” I explain.

“Speaking of, have you told Delilah yet?” Trace asks and I steal a glance at him as we walk towards to the dressing rooms.

“No. But I plan on telling her tonight as soon as I get home. I said I’d give her a call.”

“Cool. Well I’ll see you tomorrow then. I’ll let you get to it. I’m gonna catch the rest of Esmee’s show.”

“Alright man.” I give Trace a light hand tag before we go our separate ways.

I’m going to grab my stuff and head out. Luckily for me, my mom went back to Memphis so I have my home all to myself. I feel bad that I kept avoiding our long overdue chat but I’m pretty sure we’ll have that talk eventually. In fact, I think I’ll be giving her a call once I get back to Higher Heights so I can finally update her on everything. I’m a coward I know, but I feel like it would be easier and safer to speak with my mom over the phone. So, that’s what I’m going to do.

*

Later

At Justin’s

I tread up the stairs to my bedroom after locking up downstairs and turning off all the lights.

When I finally make it to my room, I kick off my shoes and proceed to disrobe, my thoughts traveling back to the day I invited Jessica over to talk which ended in us having a huge fight which began at the dining table and escalated to my bedroom. Of course, my mom, Trace and Rachel made sure to give us the space we needed but I didn’t want to argue with Jess again. I tried to get away from her but she followed me to my room. 

Now, seeing the empty spot on my nightstand where my lamp used to be brings those unpleasant memories back to the surface. I still can’t believe Jess hurled the damn thing at me in her rage. I ducked out of the way of course so the lamp went crashing into the wall, shattering on impact. That was definitely an intense moment between us. I think I practically snapped after she did that.

Maybe telling her I didn’t love her anymore when she was trying to voice her feelings to me wasn’t the best idea. Maybe admitting to her that I loved Lilah more than I ever loved her was also a mistake. Not to mention I accused her of trying to use me as leverage to salvage her dying career. I think that really hurt her. And I felt like a heartless jerk afterwards. But I was in the heat of the moment and I didn’t truly mean it. I apologized to her. If anything, I was only trying to get through that thick skull of hers. I couldn’t stand to see her so upset, desperately grasping for straws when I voiced we should go public with our breakup. She acted like I stabbed her in the chest, like there was still something between us and I was killing whatever hope that was left. I really didn’t know what to say to that.

I accepted a long time ago that Jessica and I were over. I think we were over the moment I started having feelings for Delilah. At that time, Jess was the furthest thing from my mind and my heart. I wasn’t proud of it. I felt like a complete asshole because of it since I knew Jess still cared. I mean fuck, I used to love this woman. She used to be my world. I even thought about marrying her once. Did I think she was the one? Not necessarily, but I loved her enough at the time to want to settle down with her.

Then things changed. Ending up at that school changed all of that. Meeting Delilah changed all of that. She changed me. And presently, my feelings for Lilah go much deeper since I never gave myself a chance to guard my heart like I did with Jess.

I didn’t plan any of this. I didn’t intentionally want to hurt Jess, but I couldn’t love them both. That would have been a disaster. So, I had to find a way to let one go. And, Jessica was the better bet. But I’ll admit that it still wasn’t easy. I may have never focused on it, or voiced it or even thought about it, but I knew I still had love for Jess. I simply had to ignore my feelings for her, hoping they would fizzle out and they eventually did, especially since Lilah was such a huge distraction.

Fuck, I feel horrible just thinking about this mess. I really hope Jessica will be able to fully forgive me one day. There was no way I could have made her understand that without her, I’d be ok, but without Delilah, I wouldn’t be able to deal…so there was no contest where my feelings were concerned.

But I can’t keep mauling over that disaster now, I refuse to; but I’m going to have to tell Delilah what happened eventually.

Sighing, I try to rid myself of my thoughts as I pull out my cell phone and proceed to lie on my bed in just my boxers. Swiping my palm over my face, I dial Lilah’s number then stare at the ceiling as I wait for her to pick up.

Seconds later I’m met with her soft giggles as I listen to her telling her brother to leave her alone.

“Hello Justin?”

“Hey pumpkin.” I beam. “Am I interrupting some sister and brother bonding time?” I ask curiously.

“Ok first of all…pumpkin?” Lilah snorts and my grin widens. I kind of like it. I might start calling her that, if only to get on her nerves. “And secondly no, not really. Marco and I were just hanging out in the living room watching some television while we ate our Chinese takeout. He resorted to teasing me when I noticed you were calling and ended up squealing from excitement.” She explains, her tone playful.

“You squealed huh?”

“Oh no, don’t start Justin.”

“You don’t squeal though.” I indicate.                                                                                            

“I do not.” She agrees and I chuckle. I’m betting she’s blushing right now.

“Well, I for one can’t wait to see what type of greeting I’ll receive when we see each other in two days if a mere phone call from me makes you squeal.” I taunt.

“Keep dreaming stud.” She jibes.

“With pleasure. I kind of enjoy having you occupy my dreams.”

There’s a brief pause on the line before she gasps, my statement taking her off guard.

“Wait, you dream about me?” Lilah asks, mildly confounded.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” I contest. “But that’s not why I called.” I reveal, switching topics. “I mean, besides the promise I made that I would call you, there’s a significant reason as well.”

“I see. Do tell.” She says genially but somehow, I don’t think her buoyant mood will persist once she hears what I have to say.

I swallow harshly, my heartbeat picking up speed as I think of all the possible ways this conversation could turn out. I rub my palm over my bare chest, shutting my eyes as I begin to spill my guts but Lilah suddenly interrupts me, the urgency in her voice rendering me temporarily mute.

“Oh my god, Justin I almost forgot to tell you. I think I have fans, or I think your fans are my fans or I think your fans like me. Well, at least three of them anyway.” She states, her words coming out in an incoherent mumble.

“I’m sorry what?” I chuckle, my blues fluttering open.

“Marco and I got stopped by three girls tonight when we were leaving the Chinese restaurant. They were really sweet and seemed genuinely starstruck when they asked for my picture.” She explains and my eyes widen slightly.

I immediately sit up, my orbs scanning the room as I digest what Lilah just said. “Uh, ok.” I drawl, realizing that she’s turning into her own celebrity a lot quicker than I anticipated.

It’ll only be a matter of time before the paparazzi follow. I’ve never been this ecstatic at the idea of us going back to that prison until now. At least, at school, we’ll be able to control the craziness and tone it down. “Well, don’t get too comfortable with it. I’m glad that experience wasn’t a bad one for you but you have to be careful and alert Lilah.” I caution her.

“Trust me, I was far from being comfortable but it was kind of cool. Anyway, just thought I’d let you know.”

“Ok.” I respond, not knowing what else to tell her.

I know it’s not my fault, and I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t shake the guilty feeling I have of possibly pulling her into this life before she’s absolutely ready for it.

“So you haven’t told me how your show went. But I’m guessing it went great.”

“Yeah it did.” I perk up a bit, remembering the screams of the crowd when I was on stage.

“I need to thank Trace for the video updates. It was nice getting the next best thing since I couldn’t be there to see you in person.” She giggles and I smile proudly.

“Sweet.”

“Oh and since you couldn’t shut up about me, I’m hoping whatever you had to say, it was all good…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I fake innocence.

“Nice try. But, Esmee sold you out in the video.” Lilah laughs and I chuckle along with her.

“Uh huh, whatever.” I say dismissively, feeling embarrassed.

“Aw, you’re cute when you act all shy…”

And I groan, needing her to stop this sick torture she’s putting me through. She has no idea how much her absence is driving me crazy.

“Listen, Lilah!” I cut her off. “I really need to talk to you about some shit.” I say sternly this time unable to hold off any longer.

“Right, I’m sorry. Please go ahead.”

“I need you to not freak out about what I’m going to tell you.”

“When you start off like that Justin, it’s kind of hard not to…”

“I know, but look, I had no real say in the matter. I was sort of told instead of asked so…it’s my label and my manager. I’m sorry. I hope that it won’t be too much of an inconvenience, but we’re heading back to school and you need to know because it’s important…”

“Just spill it already! You’re confusing me since I have no idea what you’re talking about Justin.” She giggles nervously and I sigh, inhaling sharply to calm my nerves.

“Well…” I hesitate, not wanting to tell her, but not having a choice in the matter. “There are going to be cameras following me around campus when we get back to Higher Heights. Now, before you say anything, they won’t be there for the entire semester, and they won’t be around twenty-four seven. It was my manager’s idea with the same talk show I was on where I was issued the challenge. It’s for some television segment they’re putting together. I know this is shocking for you and I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to be a part of the madness since our privacy will be compromised in a huge way but, I promise, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It could be good. In fact, it might be the perfect way to break our relationship news to the public. But only if you’re ok with it. I…you needed to know. I had to tell you.”

I remain silent after my explanation, waiting for Lilah’s response. There’s an impossibly long pause on the line before she finally speaks and when she does, I’m reminded of why I love her so much...of why I'm willing to fight for us if I have to.

“Wow, I guess there’s no getting away from that huh? It’s only fair since this is your regular life. And think of how great it would be for your fans. So, yeah, the idea is kind of nerve-wrecking but, I’m willing to put up with it. It’ll be outside of my comfort zone but as long as you’re there I don’t think it’ll be so bad. Let’s hope that it turns out to be a positive experience. Heaven knows I can’t endure another catastrophe at that school. But for what it’s worth, I’m excited for you.” She admits, amazing me.

“Are you serious? You’re not kidding?”

“I’m serious.” She giggles and I relax a bit.

“Ok who are you and what have you done with Lilah?” I joke, loving that she’s taking this so well. But I’m not stupid. I’ll see how well she truly deals when the cameras are a step behind us with each move we make.

“Justin, I don’t think you get how hard I’m willing to work at this relationship. I said I’d work at it and that included embracing your lifestyle no matter how crazy or hectic it is. I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere. I’m only trying to do what you need me to…what I need to do.”

“And what’s that exactly?” I ask lightly, having an idea about what she means, but needing to hear her voice it.

“Well, I’m working on accepting all of you Justin. Because let’s face it, if you love someone completely, having only part of them is never enough.”

September
NY

33. Back To The (In)famous Boarding School


Nostalgia.

That's what I feel looking around at my dorm room as I drop my luggage on the perfectly made bed. Everything is as I left it before summer break. It's a strange feeling because in just a few months my life changed so drastically, I still feel overwhelmed by it all.

There was a time when I hated this place and couldn't wait to leave my past and everything that happened behind. Now, since Justin stepped into my life, it doesn't seem so bad. At any rate, if I hadn't made the life choices I did, I would have never met him. So, for that reason, maybe this school isn't so bad anymore.

I can't wait to meet up with Justin and my friends. I'm ready to go through this last semester on a positive note. When I was leaving home it was sad to say bye to my parents and big bro, but I was also looking forward to coming back here for my final semester. I know it's going to be a hectic term with finals, projects and graduation but I don't mind.

After all, all the work I'll be putting in is for my future right? I'm not sure where life will take me after graduation but as long as Justin remains a constant in my life I feel like I'll be able to take on any and everything that comes my way.  So, I'm hoping that things will work out well for us, especially with the public aspect involved considering Justin's status.

I guess that means the first thing I'll have to do is learn how to deal with those cameras that will be following us around for the next few weeks. Well, no one said being a part of Justin's world would be easy. But, I'm up for the challenge so bring it on.

I've also made it a point of duty to avoid any drama involving Ethan as much as possible. The less I see him this term the better. Then, when we graduate, I'll be able to put him and our past behind me for good.

Inhaling deeply, I look out of my dorm room window, squinting under the bright sunlight seeping in. It's a nice day today. The grass is green and perfectly cut, the large trees are dancing in the wind and the sky is clear blue. I can see students below walking in various directions, going about their day, proudly wearing the Higher Heights school uniform. You know, now that I think about it, I'm going to miss this place. Despite the bad memories, I've made so many good ones with my friends and even with Justin here. It's where we first met. It's not somewhere we will be able to come back easily and reminisce. I hope that we'll have many more memorable moments before we leave here to look back on.

Moving to stand in front of my dresser mirror, I gaze at my reflection with a bright smile on my face. Justin was right; my trimmed raven hair makes my gray-brown eyes pop out more. I made sure to maintain the hairstyle change I made over summer break since he loved it so much. My eyes quickly scan my uniform and I fix my blazer tracing my fingertips over the school crest. I straighten my tie, then smooth my hand over my skirt before grabbing my room key.

Nodding in approval, I turn and head for the door to go in search of Justin. I miss him, I want to see him and I really can't wait for him to find me, so I'll find him first. I tried calling his cell but it went straight to voice mail so maybe he hasn't switched it on yet. He should have gotten in early this morning, a few hours ahead of me. When I spoke to him on the phone last night he sounded so tired but he still made time to talk to me while he was packing up.

I exit the female dorms and head to the public locations in school where I think he might be.




As I walk down the large spacious hallways in school, I look around feeling slightly paranoid. Is it just me or are the students here especially staring at me? Maybe I'm only imagining it? I can't be bothered about that though. I need to find Justin.

I searched all the places I know he frequents. I checked the library, the music rooms, the gym and even the student center and lounge areas. The only place I haven't checked is the gymnasium where the basketball team practices. I'm reluctant about going in there because I'm not up for seeing Ethan or Ryan on my first day back. Maybe I'll get lucky. Maybe they haven't returned to campus yet.

I shouldn't worry about them too much. I need to get over them and not allow their presence to intimidate me. That's right. Seeing Justin right now is more important. I've really missed him.

As I continue to walk down the hallway, I ignore the students I walk past trying my best not to draw attention to myself. I also avoid making eye contact with anyone. I can only imagine what they may have found out in the media about Justin and me over the summer. By the looks on some of their faces, I'd say Justin and I are going to be a hot topic on campus this semester.

Heading in the direction of the gymnasium, my steps falter when I notice three  guys coming in my direction, one of them not wearing the school uniform. This time I'm positive I'm being stared at. I note the recognition on their faces as their paces speed up. One of the guys I recognize from the basketball team. He tells the guy who's dressed causally in jeans and a t-shirt something before pointing in my direction. I freeze, looking around for an escape root. I don't know what's going on but I don't think I'll like it.

"Hey! Hey you!"

The guy void of a school uniform calls out to me and I flinch, glaring at him as he approaches.

"Hi." He grins and I stare at him without responding. He notices my apprehension and his smile widens. "You're Delilah aren't you? I recognized you the moment I saw you. You're much cuter in person."

I cringe at his statement ignoring the two students standing by his side. The one student I know from the basketball team has a rather smug smile on his face. It's pissing me off. I have a feeling about who this guy who's talking to me might be. When he realizes that I have no intention of responding, he sighs heavily before gripping my wrist lightly.

"Come with me." He instructs. Before I can protest I'm being hauled off leaving the students he was with behind.

What is this? And why am I allowing some stranger to do as he pleases? It's true that he has a very strong presence but I have a feeling I shouldn't have anything to do with him. I don't miss the fact that we're heading towards the gymnasium. In fact, a few minutes later we walk right through the main doors. The guy finally releases his hold on me, giving me a sly smile.

"You're looking for him right? Justin?" He asks and I frown causing him to chuckle.

He turns away from me and heads onto the basketball court where the players are located listening to their coach's lecture or speech.

"Yow Justin! Look at who I found!"

I gasp slightly. This guy! Did he have to yell like that? His voice even echoed off the walls. The entire team and the coach turn in our direction. A few seconds later Justin comes into view making his way out of their team circle.

Oh god, I've missed him. The sight of him dressed in the school uniform makes my heart skip a beat. But as usual he's not wearing it how he should. The sleeves of his undershirt and blazer are rolled up to his elbows, he's not wearing his tie and the top buttons on his white undershirt are undone. At least he has the pants on this time. I giggle softly when he doesn't notice me yet. He's fixated on that loud obnoxious guy.

"Vick would you keep it down? And where the hell have you been? I warned you to not mix with the students when I'm not around. That's not part of your job..." Justin hisses angrily.

So the guy's name is Vick huh? I take it he's part of the camera crew that will be following Justin around for this last semester.

"Relax J. I was only getting a feel for the new environment." Vick laughs, clearly dismissing Justin's warning.

"Don't tell me..." But Justin's words die out when he looks past Vick.

He gazes in my direction, his blues locking unto my gray-browns immediately.

"Lilah?" Justin voices softly in slight astonishment, his unpleasant mood immediately lifting. "Ah."  A large grin suddenly spreads across his face. In no time flat, he crosses the court to stand before me.

"Welcome back." Griping my hand, Justin pulls me against his chest before he wraps his arms around my waist and back, hugging me tightly. Well he sure doesn't waste any time. He also doesn't seem to care that we're the center of attention. And you know what? Neither do I. "Wow you're a sight. I've missed you. I've missed you so much Lilah." He whispers tenderly in my ear. I feel my heartbeat speed up as I breathe in his familiar scent.

Before I get a chance to reply, we're rudely interrupted.

"This is perfect, tell me you got that." I hear Vick say.

"Yeah I got it." Someone replies.

Justin's body stiffens as he reluctantly pulls away from me. He whips around and I watch silently as he storms over to Vick.

"You better not put that in the segment." Justin growls, gripping the camera and pushing it down. The cameraman glares at Justin but Justin's focus is on Vick. "No filming until classes start."

"Now where's the fun in that? Catching someone off guard always makes things more interesting." Vick sniggers.

Ugh, I've decided. I don't like this guy.

"Don't screw with me Vick. Do your damn job properly." Justin snaps at him.

"Fine Justin. You're so worked up today." Vick raises his hands in surrender. "It's that time of month is it?" He adds in for good measure, laughing boisterously at Justin's expense.

Groaning, Justin turns around and grips my hand in his ignoring Vick. "Let's go Lilah." He states.

"Aw, Justin I was only messing with you. Come on. Seriously, you're so pissy today. Ok I'm sorry alright? Hey, where are you going?" Vick calls out to Justin but Justin simply continues to ignore him.

"Ummm." I look around us at the other people who are gawking in awe at this scene. Justin doesn't seem to care at all. Oh boy.

"Coach, I'll get back to you later. Vick don't follow us!"

And with that, Justin pulls me along with him to exit the gymnasium.

I allow him to take the lead as we walk hand in hand through the hallways of Higher Heights. Justin seems oblivious to the stares coming our way or maybe he doesn't care. He seems quite indifferent to the people around us today. I'm not sure what's going on with him exactly. His grip on my hand tightens and I know that's his way of reassuring me that everything is or will be ok. We pick up the pace, weaving through students on our way.



We exit through one of the side doors and make our way outside under the hot sun. Ignoring the concrete walkways and paths, Justin cuts over the grass to where the visitor parking section is.

"Is there a reason why you're so silent and haven't said much?" I hear Justin ask me as I gaze at his broad back. He slows down a bit to turn and look at me, never releasing his hold on me. He has a smile on his face and I smile back at him.

I shake my head in reply and he rolls his eyes before facing forward. There really wasn't much time or space to say anything before he pulled me away.

As I gaze around, I notice the vehicle Justin's been driving since he's been here. We stop in front of it before he turns to face me, noting my curiosity.

"Hold on, what's going on exactly? Why did you bring me here?"

"You finally speak to me and this is the first thing you say? I'm hurt Lilah." He chuckles, finally releasing his hold on me to fish for his car key in his pant pocket.

"You're leaving?"

"Yes and I'm taking you with me. Get in." Justin instructs and I hesitate. "I know we just got back, but don't worry, I'll have you back by your dorm curfew so you won't get in trouble. Now let's go before someone spots us."

It's not like I was going to decline. I know he's probably doing this so we can have some privacy. I have no problem being alone with him. "Fine."

I get into the passenger side and Justin gets in on the driver's side. Seconds later we're leaving his parking spot and heading down towards the large school gates. As we pass the main entrance gates, where some students and their family members are gathered, to get unto the main road, I notice the back of Ryan's head and who I'd assume to be Ethan since most of him is blocked out by Ryan's body. There are also some of their friends surrounding them. They must have just gotten back.

Sighing, I turn away from the group and look ahead as Justin hits on the accelerator once we're out of the school's territory. I'm glad. At least now, I don't have to worry about Ryan and Ethan for a while.

"So..." Justin begins, breaking the silence between us.

"I've missed you too you know." I cut him off. "Welcome back." I finally give him a proper greeting and he chuckles, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I know. Feels kind of good to be back in that prison. I couldn't wait to see you again since this setting gives us the opportunity to spend a lot of time together. In fact, I have every intention of showing you just how much I've missed you once we get back to my place and we're alone." Justin utters softly.

I feel my heart flutter at his words. He said it so confidently. I'm a little scared but excited at the same time to find out what he means.

"Huh, we can't get too carried away."

"We won't." Justin assures and I giggle.

"Ok. So how was your flight out here?"

"It's was good. I slept. How about you?"

"Same." I reply. "So I've been meaning to ask you. That Vick guy..."

"Listen Lilah. Out of all the people who are going to be part of the crew for the 'cameras following us around school' bit, Vick is the one you should be the most aware of and cautious with. Don't get close to him, don't trust him and don't tell him anything no matter how much he asks. Believe me, if you slip up around him you'll regret it. I'm not trying to scare you or anything but I was pretty pissed off when I realized he was heading the crew on this job. Still, here's a fun fact; he's also one of the best in this field of work. He's the king of reality shows, with his current projects involving Jersey Shore, so you get the gist. But, he's only the best when he decides to follow the rules and do only his job." Justin explains.

"Ah I see. Got it."

"Don't worry. Everything will be ok. We're back together so we're going to make the best of it ok? Try not to think too much into our situation right now. I'm happy simply being with you like this. Things will work out; you'll see."

"Yeah." I sigh.

Justin grips my hand and lifts it up to his mouth. He places a gentle kiss on the back of my hand then gives it a light squeeze before releasing it.

When we stop at a red light, I turn to face him, taking in his beautiful profile.

"Hey Justin?"  I call out.

"Hmm?" He turns to face me and I lean over, gripping his face in my palms. His eyes widen in slight shock by my actions. Not wasting any time, I quickly plant a firm kiss on his lips.

When I attempt to move away, he takes off one of his hands from the steering wheel and grips the back of my head, deepening the kiss.

He releases a low sexy groan as he leans into me a bit more but before we can get too carried away we're snapped back to reality by the loud honking of a horn.

Reluctantly, we pull away from each other with me blushing and Justin licking at his lips. He diverts his attention back to the road and moves off at the green-light, but not before sticking his hand out of the window and showing the driver behind him the 'middle' finger.

I laugh softly, looking ahead as Justin drives at moderate speed towards the house he's renting out here while he attends Higher Heights.

I was right in thinking that once I had him with me I'd feel like I can take on anything. I felt so much more relaxed and less anxious the moment I laid eyes on him. I'm truly blessed to have this wonderful man by my side. I'm also grateful with how much he's helped me in the time I've known him. I hope I can also be a source of strength for him as well when needed.

"Here's to a good, productive but also fun semester." I state.

"Uh huh. I'm looking forward to it. I even managed to get into one of your classes."

"No way!"

"I did." Justin says proudly. "You'll see when we start. It should be interesting." He snickers, stealing a quick glance at me and I glare at him suspiciously. Do I even want to know what he's up to?

Well, whatever. I plan on making the best of our situations. Let's hope that for the most part, it'll be smooth sailing till graduation. That's not asking for too much is it?

34.  Chaotic Semester? Take 1

September

Days Later

Higher Heights Boarding School

"Take your seats everyone! We're about to begin. This is your last English class of your senior year so no slacking off please."

This is why I said things would be interesting. I already knew the outcome of signing up for this class beforehand but I didn't give a shit because I was doing it to be with Lilah.

The terror and pure agony on Lilah's face is priceless as she reluctantly sits next to me while depositing her book-bag on the floor next to her chair. If anything, I didn't tell her what I already knew solely to see this mortified expression on her face.

"This is not happening. This is...it's...I was sure that they wouldn't be in this class with me."

"It's the last elective class you have to take before graduation right? Any seniors could end up in an elective course with you despite their major. English is universal." I whisper to Lilah, ignoring our professor who's writing up the chapters we'll be covering this term on the blackboard.

"But Justin..." Lilah whispers back in slight panic, her vision drifting past me to a few seating rows over. I follow her line of sight and smile smugly when I notice Ethan and Ryan staring back at us.

"Justin! Justin! What's going on?"

Rolling my eyes, I ignore Vick when I hear him calling out to me at the back in a harsh whisper. I forgot they set up shop in the back of the classroom. It's finally begun huh? This crazy ass semester I was mostly but not completely looking forward to.

I was kind of hoping headmaster Williams would reject this idea since it's obviously going to make his school chaotic, but he was all for it.

Life at ‘Higher Heights' boarding school; who would have thought that someone like me, a professional music artist and actor, would end up having such a drastic life alteration? But I've gotten used to it. I'm happy that I'm back here with my favorite girl. As long as I've got Lilah nothing else about this school really concerns me. That includes the camera crew following us around and Vick's incessant beckoning.

Grunting, I whip my head around to look at him with a harsh scowl on my face.

"What Vick? Shut up; we're in the middle of class." I reply in a whisper.

"Who are they? They keep staring at you and Delilah." Vick states, pointing to Ethan and Ryan. He has a curious look in his eyes and I just know he's probably going to track those jerks down at some point to ask questions.

But are you kidding me? Practically the entire class is staring at us. How can he tell that we know those jerks? Well, that's Vick for you. When he's on the job, it's rare for him to miss anything like a reaction, expression or any subtle hint about the lives he's documenting.  He's dangerous. We need to be very careful when around him. He must have been paying attention to Lilah's mini breakdown and staring contest.

I groan, about to respond but the professor interrupts us.

"Whatever." I mutter, showing Vick my middle finger as a sign to leave me alone, which earns me a few chuckles and giggles from some of the students in the class before everyone quiets down and gets pulled into the lecture.

**

"I couldn't concentrate at all in class today. From finding out Ethan and Ryan was in my class to Vick and his camera crew." Lilah sighs heavily as we walk side by side towards the gymnasium where I have basketball practice right now.

"I know but try not to worry about it and don't make it so obvious that we have a serious issue with them because of you know who..." I whisper to Lilah, referring to Vick as I grip her waist to pull her closer to me. We continue walking briskly, ignoring the chorus of footsteps and murmurs behind us.

I d0n't think I like this setup very much. I even refused to introduce Lilah properly to the camera crew when she asked. I simply stated that she didn't need to know them at all. She didn't fight me on it, but I knew she simply wanted to at least put names to the faces that were so rudely invading her privacy. Maybe I'm being a little too protective? I certainly don't want it to be read the wrong way.

The moment Lilah and I walk through the doors of the gymnasium, the basketball team and cheerleaders come into view.

I hear Sandra and Michelle call out to Lilah from their cheerleading circle and she quickly moves away from me to go over to them and say hi. I smile and give them a quick wave when they shout a greeting my way, my eyes following the camera guy who pulls away from his team to follow Lilah while the rest of the crew stay with me.

Vick takes this opportunity to catch up to me when my steps slow down, my vision still cast towards the cheerleaders, noting Sandra and Michelle's annoyed glares when the camera guy begins circling them, taking shots from different angles.

"Is it really necessary to follow Lilah when she's not with me?" I question, finally breaking my vision to glare at Vick who's scribbling on his clipboard as he walks with me.

"She's your girlfriend right? Even if the two of you have yet to admit it one hundred percent to the public. That makes her a celebrity second in status after you by association. She'll be fine. She's dealing well from what I can see."

My brows crease into a deep frown as I study the side of Vick's face, his auburn and gray streaked sideburns pissing me off for some reason. He's in his forties, he's about my height and he's pretty fit for his age. But, I just don't like the guy. I've had experiences with him in the past to know he will not hesitate to fuck you over and air your entire dirty laundry if he got his hands on it. He's the type who will do what he has to for his job to satisfy the audience. He's that type of person in the industry.

"Vick, tell me the truth. Why did you sign up for this job?  I know my manager Johnny didn't ask you to do it because he knows we don't see eye to eye and this isn't your usual high scale celebrity gig so why?"

Pausing his scribbling, Vick locks eyes with me, his orbs full of wonder and intrigue...shit, that guy.

"It may not be my usual gig. But, if you were keeping up with the media Justin you'd realize you guys are a hot topic right now. From the way you ended up at this strict mysterious boarding school that's damn near impossible to get into even with amazing grades, to the mystery behind you and Lilah and this relationship you all have going. The world is going crazy over this...over you. You're back on top my friend. Or do you not miss your glory days?" Vick questions, giving me a knowing grin.

As if buddy. "So it's all about the now, the hype and the money. Got ya." I summarize and Vick laughs loudly.

"Don't worry Justin. I'm only doing my job." He replies.

That's what I'm afraid of idiot.

He pats me on the shoulder before signaling the camera crew to follow him as they begin to set up around the court to film my basketball practice.

I chance another quick glance in Lilah, Sandra and Michelle's direction before I take off into the locker rooms to quickly get changed and head out on the court since some of the players are already warming up.

Our next upcoming game will have NBA scouts there so we've pretty much been hitting it hard the moment we came back this semester. I'm not complaining though. It's fun and a once in a lifetime experience for me, so I'm taking it with stride.

A few minutes later, I'm fully changed into my basketball gear and stuffing my uniform into my locker when Ethan and two of his friends come traipsing in talking and laughing loud and obnoxiously.

I ignore them for the most part and they do the same with me as I grab my face towel and quickly sit on the bench to tie up my sneakers.

"Dude you're so getting drafted for the NBA after this game we have coming up." One of the guys says.

"Hmm, I wouldn't be so sure yet, but according to my dad it's a sure thing." Ethan replies.

Spare me please. I'd really like to meet Ethan's dad one day. I'm guessing he's probably ten times worse than his son. I'd also like to sucker punch him but I doubt I'd get away with that. I still can't believe what they've put Lilah and her family through. It's sad how evil some people can be.

"Shit man, if your dad says it's a sure thing, then it probably is. Who knows what that guy has up his sleeve?" The same guy says again.

"I agree. Your dad scares me dude. He's dangerous." Their other friend finally voices.

"Ha, ok, chill out. I know my old man is bad but seriously, talking about it only makes things worse." Ethan chuckles nervously, quickly squashing their conversation, no doubt because I'm right in earshot range.

I shake my head, standing up and slamming my locker shut, getting ready to leave.

"Alright, we're heading out." "We'll see you on the court." Ethan's friends state before they exit the locker rooms leaving me and Ethan alone.

Ah, that's my cue.

Turning around on my feet, I proceed to leave but not before Ethan's voice stops me.

"Just so you know, I have no intention of giving you and Delilah shit this semester Timberlake. My mind's focused on bigger matters now with graduation around the corner. I may not like what's going on, but it's not my place to get involved considering Delilah and my history.  I don't know much about what's going on with you guys but I did try to put our past to rest. I did apologize and did everything I could to get my dad off her family's back. So, hopefully, what I did helped even if it will never be enough." Ethan explains, releasing a sigh.

I whip around to face him in that instant, giving him a harsh glare.

"You're right. It's not enough. Nothing you say or do will ever be enough or erase what's already been done. If you're saying you plan to leave Lilah alone from now on, then that's the best course of action." I state.

"Leave her alone from now on?" Ethan voices with an askance look on his face. "Right. Of, of course."

You're not convincing asshole. Just what will it take to get rid of you for good? Homicide is clearly off the list. I won't risk being separated from Lilah. Ok, that's too harsh, but still, I'm hoping once they graduate it will all be over. By then, Ethan should be caught up in his basketball career and have no time left for Lilah or his past with her.

"I really don't like you Ethan." I finally admit.

"You're not my favorite person either Timberlake." He retorts.

"Actually, I really want to beat the shit out of you, but that would cause too much trouble, especially after the last time when coach ripped me a new one." I divulge.

"I can't have any more misdemeanor acts on my record else I won't get drafted." Ethan points out.

"So we're at an agreement. We're to stay away from each other to prevent any trouble. Because the next time, I will not be this calm or be using words to get my point across."

Ethan chuckles wryly in response, clearly pissed off as he yanks his jersey out of his locker with brute force.

"Right. I think we're done here." He tells me and I smirk, about to leave, but not before I notice a few items tumbling out of his locker with his jersey.

Slight shock flashes across Ethan's face as he leans down and quickly picks up the items that fell out of his locker. I frown deeply, studying him as he stuffs them back into his locker quickly before slamming it shut and locking it.

He turns to look at me with a blank expression on his face before letting out a low grunt as he brushes past me and storms out of the locker rooms in record speed.

I remain in place, staring at his locker as a million and one thoughts begin swirling in my mind. I know what I saw and I know the reaction I saw on Ethan's face when he noticed what fell out of his locker. It looked like he was surprised, like he didn't know that stuff was in there...almost like someone put it in there without his knowledge. I could be wrong, but I'm curious...and now, I want to know the contents of that item.  Unfortunately, in order to accomplish that, I'd first have to break into his locker.

There's no time now though. I have get out on the court because I have practice. But afterwards...maybe...possibly...we'll see.

**

Later

"Great practice guys! That's it for today. Be here tomorrow same time."

Coach Lambert dismisses the team and everyone quickly heads into the locker rooms to get changed. I linger behind, making my way over to Lilah, Sandra and Michelle who went to sit in the bleachers after cheerleading practice was over to watch the team.

"Hey Ladies." I greet them with a smile, rooting off my soaked jersey to remain in just my basketball shorts. I grip my towel and quickly wipe the sweat off my face and chest, chuckling to myself when I notice Lilah blush and look away from me. I love how she can get shy like that in front of me still. It never gets old.

"You get better every time we watch you play Justin." Sandra points out.

"Yup you do." Michelle agrees and I smile bashfully.

"You all are just saying that." I reply, laughing.

"It's true." Lilah affirms and I lock eyes with her, studying her expressions. She bows her head, fiddling with her nails and I bust out laughing again.

"Well, thanks."

"Oh, because Lilah agrees you believe us now huh?" Sandra teases and I shrug, grinning brightly.

"Besides that, how can you all deal with this camera thing? Delilah was updating us earlier on what's been going on with you guys. It's crazy." Michelle voices.

I nod in agreement, clearing my throat before I respond. "Actually it was all my label and manager. I didn't have much say in the matter and that hardly ever happens these days. I think they're really peeved over the fact that I'm stuck here not making any music, movies or being active in my career."

"It's always about the money huh?" Sandra points out, shaking her head.

"It's the industry. If you can't handle it, this business will easily destroy you. I don't mind too much since Lilah's ok with it." I explain, keeping my vision on her.

"Well, I hope things work out. You guys' summer wasn't too crazy and this is our last semester so soon it will all be over. Just bare with it." Sandra adds in and I smile, her optimism lifting my spirits.

If only life was that simple huh?

"Alright. I'm gonna quickly change then head back out here. Lilah, you'll wait for me won't you?"

"Sure." She quickly replies.

"We'll keep her company until you come back." Michelle pipes in and I mutter a quick ‘thanks' before taking off to the locker rooms to change when I notice most of the team already heading out.

When I get in there it's practically deserted. Damn, those guys don't waste any time to head out after practice. I hear a few of the showers running on the other side and decide to grab my things out of my locker to change. I'll take a shower back at my place.  I'm feeling lazy. Plus, I haven't seen Ethan leave yet so he's probably one of those in here using the showers. I'm definitely not in the mood to see him again before I leave here.

I pull out a fresh t-shirt and quickly throw it on before gathering the rest of my things and slamming my locker shut. I take a quick glance at my surroundings, pausing when I notice a few of the lockers slightly open...probably of the players using the showers right now. I walk over to them, looking around cautiously as I do so. My orbs scan the names above each locker until they end up on Landing...Ethan's last name.

I shouldn't do this, but after what happened earlier I'm so fucking curious I can't seem to walk away. Vick called it a day after our practice so he's nowhere around now to catch this. Hesitantly, I slowly push Ethan's locker open and look inside, my blues quickly scanning the contents. I move a few things out of the way until I notice the item I'm looking for, the same one that fell out earlier when we were in here.

I grip it in my palm, a wave of dread suddenly washing over me as I study it closely.

When I hear the showers turning off one by one, I step back, moving everything back the way I found it before I quickly grab my things and dart out of the locker rooms, long before anyone comes into view from the shower rooms.

On my way out, I stuff the item into my duffle bag and exit the locker rooms, signaling Lilah, Sandra and Michelle for us to leave. They immediately follow me out of the gymnasium and we all walk together, chatting for a bit until we part ways.

Lilah remains with me as we tell her best friends ‘goodbye' for the rest of the day.

When it's just the two of us, I turn to look at Lilah curiously.

"You've been mostly out of it for the day. What's wrong? Something on your mind?" I ask her, gripping her hand in my free one as she walks me to my ride.

"The question is, what's not on my mind?" She giggles in response.

I can understand where she's coming from. Having to deal for another four months here is not going to be easy at all.

I really hate that she's living in the dorms when I have a house I'm renting all to myself. I'm tempted to ask her to move in with me for this last semester but how would she respond to that?

I look down at where our hands are linked, smiling at the charm bracelet I gave her for her birthday over the summer. "Hey, do you want to know what the gold key on your bracelet stands for now?" I suddenly blurt out, changing topic entirely.

Lilah looks up at me in wonderment, her eyes lighting up immediately.

"You're going to tell me now? What changed your mind?"

"Eh..." is all I reply and she frowns.

"Tell me." She beams and I give her hand a light squeeze in return as we make it out to my ride in the student parking lot.

"That key symbolizes ‘home.'" I simply state, chuckling at the perplexed expression on her face.

"Uh, ok, you're gonna have to give me a little more than that."

"Well, it's simple." I say with a smirk. "My home is your home, your home is my home. We all need a key to get through the front door right? Well, that last charm symbolizes where I'd like us to eventually end up."

I notice how her excited expression slowly fades as she gets more serious.

"So...in other words..." She drifts off, looking away from me as we stop in front of my ride and I release her hand to unlock the doors.

"In other words..." I continue. "I'd like us to one day build a home together with that ‘charm' representing the key to our front door." I divulge.

"Ah. I see." Lilah utters before inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Well um..."

"I'm not asking you to move in with me now or anything. I mean that's a big step. But for you, it's probably a gigantic ‘out of this world' step."

"Hey!" She nudges me playfully and I chuckle.

"I'm kidding. But seriously, keep it as a thought in the back of your mind for now ok?"

I casually move around the ride to toss in my items before coming back over to stand before her. I look down at her, releasing a sigh as I grip under her chin. "And no matter what happens, always remember even if we fight, I'll still love you. I assure you, it won't disappear so easily so don't be afraid of things when it comes to us ok?"

"R-right. I know that." She nods in affirmation before looking up at me. Her smile slowly returns before she pulls me down for a kiss.  I grip her tightly, deepening our kiss until I feel my heartbeat speed up and my groin area start to stir. Reluctantly, I pull away from her, breaking our kiss to catch my breath.

Ah, I need to chill out for a bit. As much as I want to make love to her every time I see her, this is dangerous. If I get pulled in deeper than I already am without being assured that we'll truly be ok outside of these walls, I don't think I'd be able to handle losing her if that ever happened. I'm not saying it will but, it's obvious now that we have some type of comfort zone here at this school even if our lives here are a little twisted.

Maintaining a relationship outside of this school setting when I'm back to my regular life and Lilah is building her career and future...I don't know what that's going to be like. In fact, it's scaring the shit out of me. I think that's why I randomly decided to tell her about the charm, to get the idea rolling in her mind because I've never been in this type of situation before with a woman. While I'm ready to put up a fight and do whatever it takes to hold onto us, she has to want the same things as well or else, we'll slowly fall apart, whether we want that or not.

"Um, Justin? Zone out much?" Lilah waves her hand in front of my face and I grip it, giving her a light kiss inside the palm of her hand before I release her.

"I'm heading out for the day. I'll see you tomorrow? We'll go out to dinner. Be sure to let headmaster Williams know you plan on going out tomorrow morning ok? So, we won't have a problem." I tell her.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind also Justin. You're kind of distant." Lilah points out and I shake my head, giving her a quick peck on the lips as ‘goodbye' before I move around and hop into the driver's seat.

"Head right in ok? Take care. I'll give you a call later tonight." I call out to her, bringing the ride to life and slowly pulling out of my parking spot.

"Ok, uh, safe drive!" She waves goodbye to me, standing on the side as she watches me pull out. "Justin!" She calls out again and I stick my head out of the window.

"Yeah?" I respond, taking in her silhouette and how her arms are folded across her chest protectively.

"I love you." Her face lights up in a warm smile when she says this and I grin back at her.

It's settled. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this for us and for our future together. I'm going to investigate Ethan and his dad and find a way to help in solving this issue Lilah's family is having with them. I have the strongest feeling that if we can eliminate that obstacle, things will be able to move on smoothly for the most part between us until we leave this place after graduation.

"Love you too! Always!"

35. Chaotic Semester - Take 2

Later

At Justin’s Place

“I’m home right now, just took a shower. I’m done for the day, why?” I question, my cell phone glued to my ear as I amble into the kitchen.

“Switch on the television. You agreed to this; you guys haven’t met, but you should really see this kid since he’s basically living your life.” Trace explains to me on the line.

“Hmm?” I reply, grabbing a beer out of the refrigerator before heading into the living room to switch on the television. “What am I looking for?”

“MTV.” Trace replies.

I switch over to MTV noting a segment of their short newscast going on. They’re talking about my upcoming Shriner’s benefit and the fact that this year will probably be the first year I may not be there for my own event. Well, it’s not exactly my fault here. I initially planned to fly out there but after talking with Johnny about the situation and how troublesome it was going to be based on my classes and basketball-training schedule, we came up with the next option. I did do the promotional videos and work I was supposed to get done over summer break so everything should be fine.

“Is that Henry?” I ask, referring to the student I switched places with at this school since they were at capacity when I came here.

“Yup.” Trace groans and I chuckle as I study his tall lanky frame, bleach blonde hair and obvious snooty attitude as he talks animatedly to the reporters. He carries himself like an elite. I’m guessing mommy and daddy are from high-class society. “Justin, are you sure you’re ok with this kid representing you at the Shriner’s benefit?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, that was the agreement from the start right? We’ve been through this Trace. Bare with it, it’s only four more months.” I tell him.

“Ugh, shit, whatever. So how are things in that place you call prison?” Trace asks me as I sip on my beer.

“Uh.” I swallow, staring at my duffle bag where I dropped it on the couch when I came in earlier. “It’s still too early to tell but Vick is a pain in the ass as usual.”

Stretching across, I grab my bag and slowly open it before pulling out the item I took from Ethan’s locker earlier. I should probably return it before he notices it’s missing, but I doubt I’ll do that depending on what the contents are.

“Vick is going to look for ways to put you and Delilah in trouble. You all better watch out. You know how he fucked you guys up a few times back when you were in the band.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.” I ensure Trace. I’m only hoping that the times when I’m not with Lilah, they will leave her alone for the most part.

Staightening my posture, I stretch out my limbs a bit, scratching my chest through my white wife beater before I able over to the DVD player. Gazing down at the DVD in my had entitled: “Our Times Together,” I pull it out of its clear case and pop it in, pressing play before I take a seat.

“So what are you up to now?” Trace asks as I grab the remote player to turn up the volume.

“Watching a homemade movie.”  I reply dryly when the screen turns to black and I hear muffled shuffling and laughing in the background before the surroundings in the footage become clear.

“That sounded cryptic Justin.” Trace chuckles, but I tune him out when I hear a very familiar giggle coming from somewhere behind the video camera.

“Ethan…Ethan don’t hide!” Lilah laughs out.

“Do not Delilah, I swear…” Ethan chuckles before he comes into view.

It’s clear that Lilah’s the one holding the camera as she films him in what looks like someone’s house. I have no idea whose place this is. It’s not Lilah’s home so it must be Ethan’s place in New York.

“Uh, Trace, can I call you back?” I mutter, not waiting for his reply. I hear him saying something but I ignore him, too engrossed with what I’m looking at. “Ok, bye.” I hang up and rest back in my seat, feeling my stomach twist into knots when I hear Lilah call Ethan by some nickname she had for him back then.

He looks ridiculously young, but he’s the same cocky asshole in this. I’m guessing this was taken some time around their freshman year here at Higher Heights. That was well over four years ago, before I even knew Lilah existed.

“Would you stop filming me?” Ethan barks at her, his smile still on his face.

“Aw but you look so cute sitting there being studious. It’s a rare sight.” Lilah laughs, zooming in on his face and the textbook he’s holding in his hands.

Ethan looks up directly at the camera and then suddenly drops his book and lunges at Lilah. There’s a short struggle before the tables are turned and he points the camera in her face.

I gasp in shock when she comes into view, the sight of her from four years ago stunning me. I mindlessly place my hand over my mouth, my orbs widening as I take in the sight of a completely different Lilah.

She’s wearing a cute, short, yellow and white dress, her hair is much longer than I’ve ever seen it and it’s auburn and curly falling over her shoulders. She looks healthy and happy…so happy.

“Oh my god.” I mutter still in utter shock as she giggles and laughs, shying away from the camera while she tries to reclaim the camera from Ethan.

Who is this woman? That’s not my Lilah. She’s absolutely beautiful, bubbly and she’s glowing. Is this the real her? Is this the person I’ve been trying my hardest to bring out from that protective shell she’s been hiding in? This is the person I always knew she was, who she truly is. My shock slowly begins to morph into immeasurable anger when I realize that Ethan is the sole cause of shattering and transforming that person smiling and laughing back at the camera into who she is today.

Unforgivable. It’s unforgivable.

The more I watch, the sicker to my stomach I become. I finish off my beer, now in a trance state as I continue to watch the various footage he pasted together of different times they spent with each other during their relationship. Even Ethan seems like a completely different person in this. In fact, I can almost see why Lilah was in love with him back then. Wait, what am I thinking? What am I doing? Why am I watching this? But, I can’t stop…I want to know more. I want to know more of the Lilah who was unscathed back then…the Lilah who didn’t have the type of baggage she has now; the carefree, jovial Lilah who simply knew that she was in love with her high school sweetheart. It’s unsettling but…but I can’t look away. I, I want to see that Lilah again. I want her to go back to herself, her true self. She’s slowly getting there, but as long as Ethan remains in the picture somehow, I don’t think she could ever fully heal the way she needs to.

I’ve sat through random video clips of them in school, at home and out with friends including Ryan. I’ve also sat through some of their dates, times when they traveled to the beach and miscellaneous times in between. I’ve been sitting here for over an hour now, amazed that I’m witnessing a Lilah I never knew and probably never will.

I check the amount of time left on the DVD, realizing there are only a few minutes left on this film.

The current clip I’m watching of one of Ethan’s basketball games, switches over and that catches my attention when everything turns silent.

“Ethan what are you doing? Get over here!”

That’s Lilah’s voice.

I cringe at the sight of Ethan’s bare torso right in front of the lens of the camera as he seems to be fixing it in place.

“Hang on, I’m pouring your drink girl.” Ethan chuckles but this time seems different. This time, he seems nervous. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m a little perplexed with what’s going on now. I hear Ethan mumble something but it’s too low to understand so I pause and rewind the video, turning up the volume. “Shit, I can’t believe I have no choice but to do this…” He mutters quietly.

“Did you say something?” I hear Lilah ask but I can’t see her since Ethan’s body is in the way.

“Huh? No babe. Hang on a minute.” Ethan states.

“Move idiot.” I groan angrily, laughing when I catch myself.

Ugh, I’ve clearly fallen. I can’t believe I’m doing this…really.

Ethan finally moves away from the camera for a bit and it’s then that I notice he has a bottle of some drink and two glasses pouring the liquid into. He pauses when he’s done, and I think I notice him put some ice and…wait a minute. I rewind the video to when he puts the ice into the two glasses from the cooler on the table and…something else? Did he put something else in there? I can’t be sure, it’s not really clear with the angle and the fact that half the actions are cut out from the camera but I could have sworn he put something else in there other than ice.  He picks up both glasses and turns to walk over to Lilah I’d assume.

The lens from the camera automatically refocuses and it’s then the surroundings clearly come into view. They’re in a…bedroom.

I swallow hard, my eyes squinting when I notice Lilah sitting on the bed, smiling up at Ethan as she takes one of the glasses from him and takes a sip. She looks like she’s hardly wearing any clothes and immediately the alarm signals in my brain begin going off. My heartbeat speeds up, beating erratically behind my ribcage as I grip the remote and fast-forward the remaining video footage.

As I thought…this is going somewhere I don’t want to see but…even in fast forward mode since I chose the slower speed up time, I can clearly see what’s happening. They’re talking, drinking their drinks, then, Ethan takes the glasses and places them down, he leans over to Lilah, kisses her…and then…and then…

I finally make it to the end and shut off the DVD player entirely, swiping my palms over my face a few times to calm myself down. Is this…is this the clip Lilah was talking about that aired for the entire student body to see in their freshman year at one of their dances? Is this…because if it was, I’ll fucking kill Ethan for exposing her like that. I mean, shit…shit they were barely concealed beneath the covers. And Lilah’s moans, they’ll forever be burned into my memory. How…how can I look at her knowing what I know now? What do I tell her? And how the fuck could Ethan be so careless with having something like this lying around?

Oh my fucking g…what the hell did I just witness? I inhale deeply, looking down at my cell phone when it begins ringing loudly. I notice that Trace is trying to get me back but I ignore the call, stuffing my mobile phone into my pocket, a slew of profanities falling from my lips as I jump up from my seat. I stumble over my couch, grabbing my black hoodie hanging over one of the dining room chairs. I make my way to the front door with my car keys in hand.

I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill the bastard. It’s much worse getting a visual than simply knowing what happened. For touching Lilah, for hurting her and destroying her beautiful spirit, I’ll kill him.

**

In no time flat I make it back to Higher Heights, glancing at my  wrist watch. It’s not too late. The afternoon is just ending. It’s about twilight now so I can still visit the dorms.

I know I’m probably going to do or say some stupid shit, but right now I don’t give a fuck. I’m too worked up. Fuck what I said to the jerk in the locker rooms earlier. I’m going to put him in his place now once and for all. I don’t need this shit and neither does Lilah. If I don’t enforce how serious I am about this, it’ll never end.

When I make it to the male dorms, my steps falter when Lilah crosses my mind. If she knew I came back here…the reason why I’m here…she’ll probably find out eventually but…

“Justin?”

I freeze, slowly turning around when I hear my name called. Frowning deeply, I groan while staring at the familiar person.

“Manny. Hey.” I greet him and he gives me a curious look.

“What’s going on? Visiting hours for students living off campus ends soon. Be sure to leave on time.” He explains and I nod, biting my bottom lip to conceal giving him a smartass remark.

“Maybe you can help me. We’re Ethan’s dorm room?” I question, noting how Manny’s interest peaks by my question.

“Why would you…”

“Just tell me head boy!” I snap at him and he folds his arms across his chest defiantly. “Fine! It’s concerning basketball practice earlier.” I lie. “It won’t take long geez, you suspicious…” But I catch myself. Calling him a suspicious prick won’t get me what I want. “Look I’m sorry. I’m a little…troubled right now. Tell me so I can leave.”

“Hmm.” Manny hums, still eyeing me doubtfully. “His room is at the end of the hall, last door on the right. Make it quick and try not to cause any trouble.” He finally discloses before getting ready to leave. I glower at him before I whip around, muttering a ‘thanks’ before I head off down the hall, leaving him behind.

My heartbeat is still thundering loudly and the adrenaline rush that kicks in when I make it to Ethan’s door startles me momentarily. I pause, listening to the voices on the other side of the door. He has company. But that won’t stop me. I’m on a mission.

I decide to test the knob and sure enough the door is unlocked. Now’s not the time for manners. I’m going to barge right in and give the jerk what’s coming to him…

“Seriously dude, you really should lay off Delilah and that Timberlake guy. Who knows what his fame and fortune can do.”

“Yeah Ethan! Justin seems pretty damn serious about her, though I don’t see why he is. I mean, it’s only Delilah.”

What the fuck is this? I stare at the wooden door, not surprised that we’re those jocks topic of conversation, but it still pisses me off.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I’m not sure what I’ll do exactly, but I wasn’t planning on my dad getting involved.” Ethan’s voice filters out through the cracks in the door frame and I cringe.

“In other words, you were unsuccessful in getting your dad to leave the Marshall family alone.”

“Mmhm pretty much.” Ethan responds. “I don’t know what he’s up to anymore though, since I tried to stop him. My old man sure knows how to hold a grudge.”

When I hear Ethan’s annoying laugh, something inside of me snaps and without a second thought, I barge right into that room, unconcerned with the occupants other than Landing.

“Son of a bitch.” I mutter, my eyes dead set on Ethan as I storm toward him.

He looks at me in utter shock, immediately standing from his sitting position. “Timberlake? What the fuck are you doing…”

But that’s as far as he gets because the moment I reach him, I swing my right fist with all my built up anger and strength, hitting him square in the jaw. He stumbles back from the blow, his hand immediately flying up to his face as he gasps in shock.

“Shit. Fuck!” Ethan groans in pain.

Still riled up, I get in his face and grip his shirt roughly to yank him forward. “You slimy bastard.” I hiss at him. “I warned you! I…”

“Wow, hold up, what the fuck did I do now? I haven’t bothered your precious ‘Lilah!’” He sneers at me with blood slowly trickling down the side of his mouth.

“That’s beside the point!” I growl.

“Wow, Justin what are you doing?” I pause at the sound of Ryan’s voice. So he’s here too huh? I was so caught up with my objective I completely ignored the other people in here.

“Chill out Timberlake. Don’t be so irrational. You’re outnumbered here.” I make out the voice of one of the other guys on the basketball team, but I don’t turn around to face him or take heed of his warning.

“Tell me the truth.” I snap at Ethan who’s glaring at me in perplexity. Why isn’t he fighting back? “What did you really do to Lilah all those years ago? That video you aired for the entire student body to see, why’d you do it? I can’t imagine you doing something like that where you’d be exposed as well. Right?”

“Huh? Justin you…” Ethan begins but I cut him off again.

“Tell me you bastard! And how could you drug her? You did didn’t you? That’s how you could get her to do what you wanted that time you filmed the two of you in bed…” I trail off when Ethan’s orbs widen in shock. His face turns pale white, his hands suddenly gripping my wrists to push me off him.

I release the hold I have on him, coughing slightly as I catch my breath.

“How did you…wait…in the locker rooms earlier…that DVD…” Ethan mutters mindlessly, wiping at his mouth and now swollen cheek.

“It’s fucking amazing how you can have shit like that lying around.” I tell him, slowly regaining my composure. I need to calm down. I feel like I’m losing my mind here with all the thoughts that are engulfing me. “It makes me wonder. Just what type of person is your notorious father who has such a strong hold on Lilah’s family and their reputations and future? I’ve never met the man, don’t know who he is, but he’s quite the evil villain isn’t he? Much worse than you. What’s his motive? What are you all really trying to gain out of making this family’s life a living hell? It goes past simple revenge doesn’t it?” I bark at Ethan, ignoring the flustered yet frustrated look on his face as he keeps his distance from me.

It’s obvious he’s trying to figure a way out of this. I’ve put him on the spot and in front of his friends too. When he doesn’t respond I continue on with my rant, hoping that I can send him over the edge enough to snap and shed some light on the situation.

“I mean I don’t get it. You cheat on Lilah first, so she decides to get back at you by doing the same thing. She rats you out to the coach about your steroids habit, you go ape shit on the guy she cheated on you with, sending him to the hospital. Your parents and the cops get involved, then after the guy recovers, he mysteriously leaves or transfers schools never to be heard from again. The case and charges of assault are dropped, you’re suspended or whatever by the headmaster after the investigation, then your families begin a never-ending feud that’s been going for years…ever since. For people who were such great friends and got along so well…something doesn’t add up. I feel like there’s a very important piece missing in this story. Maybe a piece that Lilah herself isn’t aware of. But you know what Ethan? You’re going to tell me. I promise you that before we leave this fucking school at the end of this year, you’re going to tell me every thing I need to know. I don’t care if I have to track your good-for-nothing dad down and settle the score with him myself. I’ll do whatever it takes. I heard he’s a politician? That’s fine. I’m also in the public’s eye, I know how to deal with people well. I’m up for the challenge.”

Ethan clicks his teeth at the end of my rant, turning his back to me as he walks over to his knapsack sitting at the foot of his bed. He leans over, opens it and stuffs his hand in before taking out a small piece of paper.

“Here.” He walks over to me handing me a business card. “My dad’s business card. If you think you can really take him on, give it your best shot. But before you succeed, I guarantee he will destroy you and maybe take it a step further by involving the people closest to you. If you really want to stop him, you’d better do it without him having any knowledge of it. Then again, I was pretty damn unsuccessful and I’m his son. But, whatever. You think you all are the only ones who want this feud to end? Do you have any idea what this controversy could do for my future basketball career?”

“Of course, it’s all about you isn’t it Ethan. You’re so selfish. What did Lilah ever see in you?” I sneer at him.

“I could say the same for you.” He retorts.

“Hmph.” I stare at the business card in my hand, scowling deeply before I stuff it in my pocket.

“You can do what you want Justin. It’s up to you. But I’d suggest you not get anymore involved than you already are. I’ve done my best to keep you out of the picture enough where my dad wouldn’t be concerned so…”

“What’s with you?” I ask Ethan, a bit confused by his behavior now. He’s calm for the most part, he didn’t lash back and he’s cautioning me? Is his father really that bad? If so why haven’t we dealt with him since I’ve been at Higher Heights?

“My dad doesn’t like to get his hands dirty. But that doesn’t mean he won’t still get the job done. I honestly don’t know much about his plans or actions, but from what I do know, not even I can really go up against him. That being said, that DVD you took, it wasn’t mine. I mean, yeah, the footage on it belonged to me, but I didn’t create the actual DVD. I saw it once, the first time it was made, but that time was back at my house in New York. So, it showing up in my locker was to pose as a reminder.” Ethan explains.

“A reminder?” I repeat, not buying that lame excuse.

“You really shouldn’t get into people’s stuff Justin. Curiosity kills I hope you know that. In this case, it’s literal. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into…not even Delilah knows everything that’s happening. I’m sure the Marshalls didn’t tell their kids all what my dad’s been up to. I’m sure the Marshalls also didn’t tell their children what they know about my dad and why he won’t give up and simply leave them alone. So you’re right to think that this family feud is deeper than it really is. Maybe Lilah and I were simply excuses for them, but I can also tell you that you’d better not go snooping where you don’t belong, and don’t drag Lilah along with you. You’ll regret it.”

What the fuck is up with the cryptic shit?

“In other words, it’s better to go to the source huh?” I think out loud, ignoring Ethan’s warning for the most part. “Got it.”

I whip around to leave, my blues finally scanning the other three faces in the room, Ryan being one of them. There’s a knowing look on Ryan’s face as he clearly stares back at me. “And where do you fit into all of this Ryan? You know more than Lilah does don’t you?” I ask him. “There’s a reason you’re still hanging around Ethan isn’t there? For some reason, I don’t think it’s because you all are such best friends like you’re leading people to believe.”

Stuffing his hands in his pocket, Ryan smiles coyly at me, shrugging in the process. “I told Ethan you were smart, that you’d eventually start to see through the cracks, especially if you were truly serious about Lilah and cared for her.”

Hold on, say what?

“Stay out of it Justin. It doesn’t concern you.” Ryan adds in. “This is a family matter. You love Delilah don’t you? Then focus on her and let us continue to handle the rest.”

Wow, wow slow down.

“Ryan you…your aloof, passive, ‘not wanting to get involved’ attitude is a lie isn’t it?”

“No, I’m pretty much like that…but in this case, it makes things easier if Lilah continues to feel the way she does towards us and not look any further into it. I don’t mind, being hated by her, because no matter what, she’ll always be my cousin.” Ryan admits. “I’ll tell you one thing; this school is the last safe haven she has since she’s away from home right now, away from the direct chaos. But, well, I guess she has you now as well huh?”

I’m struck with awe, my mind turning upside down as the masks that were put up by these people slowly begin to shatter into pieces. I’m starting to see things in a new light. What an unpleasant revelation this is.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I finally blurt out, still in a state of awe. Quickly regaining my composure, I proceed to leave, my stomach and heart twisting into knots when I come to terms with the  type of calamity that could be waiting for the woman I ended up falling in love with, if she learned the truth about the secrets her family is apparently keeping from her.

Shit, just what the fuck did I get myself into by coming to this godforsaken school?

As I swing the door open to Ethan’s room, I pause to turn around when the room remains dead silent, with everyone simply looking on, completely mute. The two other guys from the basketball team did their best to blend in with the bland walls of this room so as to not get involved.

“Listen. Don’t tell Lilah about any of this or that I was here. I think you all know why and what will happen if word gets to her.”

“You too Timberlake. Pretend like you don’t know anything. And return that DVD. It doesn’t belong to you.” Ethan finally speaks up again and I huff in response, not giving him a reply.

Like hell I will. Why would I return the evidence when it’s going to help me solve this mystery? Without another word, I walk out of Ethan’s dorm room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I release a sigh of relief, resting against the hallway wall momentarily still feeling sick to my stomach as I swipe my palms over my face.  “Calm down Justin.” I mutter to myself, my orbs gazing at my surroundings closely. There are a few students walking up and down the halls but they ignore me for the most part. I should probably leave before someone, who’s nosy enough to query why I’m here, spots me.

Right. I need to get back to my ride and get out of here before anyone can go and tell Lilah that I’m here.

I’ve learned a lot today…much more than I expected. My suspicions were also clear. Ethan may be an asshole…that’s fact, he’ll always be that way and he may be appearing to be the bad guy, but no matter how I look at it, this shit goes right back to their parents. There’s more there, more that the children don’t know about, even if Ethan seems to have a pretty decent understanding with the way his dad operates. It’s clear he still doesn’t know for sure what his dad’s next move will be.

I wonder, what type of man is Eric Landing, Ethan’s dad? That’s the name I saw on his business card.

Rooting my cell phone out of my pocket, I quickly hit speed dial for Trace’s number as I pull the hood of my hoodie over my head to partially conceal my identity.

A few seconds later, he picks up and I’m met with immediate verbal bashing.

“You fuckin’ cunt! Why’d you hang up on me like that J? That was rude dude! I’ve been trying to get you back.” Trace barks over the line and I roll my eyes as I pick up my pace, exiting the male dorms.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was distracted ok?” I apologize to him. “Never mind that, I need you to do me a favor.” I tell him. He quiets down, noting the urgency in my voice.

“Wow, something’s up. What’s going on Justin?”

“Get that Henry kid I switched places with to contact me. Tell him it’s important. I know we’re only supposed to meet at graduation, but the rules were meant to be broken.” I explain to Trace.

“Again, I’m asking…what’s going on Justin? This sounds serious.” Trace points out in concern.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell you more, but I can’t go into detail right now. But do what I ask ok? Please let him know I need to talk to him. There’s some information I’d like to verify. It’s better if I speak to someone who’s outside of the school right now, but still knows what’s happening for the most part.”

“Delilah doesn’t know about what you’re up to does she?” Trace inquires, his tone stating that he already knows the answer to his question.

“No. And I’m not going to tell her. Not until I’ve accomplished what I’ve set out to do.”

“Damn, you weren’t joking when you said you felt like you needed to ‘save’ Lilah from something in order to secure a future with her.” Trace says, reminding me of a time during summer break back in Cali when I did say something similar to that when we were talking about my temporary life here at this place.

“I think it’s more serious than I initially thought Trace. Right now, at this very second, I can’t help but feel practically powerless, asking myself… ‘what could I do to make this all go away for good?’ How do I protect the woman I love without bringing to her attention that she could actually be in some type of danger?”

The last thing I want is for Lilah to know about any of this. It seems that the people around her have been protecting her from the truth for a while as well. Who am I to say they’re wrong in doing so when I want to do the same thing? I don’t want to see her get hurt anymore than she already has. I don’t want her to lose the faith and hope she has left in her family. But I think I understand why her family would try to keep her in the dark about the intricate details of their feud with the Landings. It’s not to lie to her or to deceive her but to protect her because if Lilah was thrust into the heart of the matter, I truly think it would destroy her. She’s been doing well, slowly opening up and getting stronger, but I don’t think she’s ready yet. I don’t think she’s strong enough yet to face her past, Ethan and their families dead on. But I’ll help her get there. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she’s ready to face that world once all is said and done and she graduates and leaves this place.

***

New York

Landing Resident

In an upper class neighborhood in New York, inside a two-story mansion, sits a middle-aged man in his study, casually sipping on a glass of scotch on the rocks. He has auburn hair, a grey mustache and wrinkles on his aged face. His demeanor is intimidating and his stare is ruthless and stoic as his dark blue orbs scan the family photo sitting on his desk of him, his wife and his son. The photo was taken when his son was back in high school, the star of his high school’s basketball team.

“Hmm…Ethan.” The man growls lowly, his voice horse and grainy as he takes a sip of his drink from the glass in his hand.

Leaning back in his seat, he gazes at the ceiling, calculated thoughts passing through his mind as he deciphers his next move.

A few minutes later, the phone line in his study starts ringing, interrupting his quiet, peaceful time.

He grabs the receiver, picking it up and placing it next to his ear as he shuts his eyes for a bit.

“Yes. Speak.”

“Boss, it’s me.”

“Ah, I’ve been waiting for your call. Did you deliver my reminder to my son?”

“Yes sir. I placed the DVD where he would easily find it.”

“Good. This should warn him that if he tries to get into the middle of my affairs again, I will not hesitate to destroy that little Marshall girl he’s still so obviously and stupidly in love with. What an idiot son he is.”

“Right but um, Mr. Landing, there’s just one more thing. When I was leaving, making sure to be careful so no one would spot me, I overheard Ethan and Justin Timberlake having some type of conversation.”

“What are you going on about? If you did what I asked then that’s all. I’m hanging up now.”

“No wait sir you don’t understand. That Justin, he’s a celebrity. Not only that, but it’s rumored that he’s dating Delilah Marshall and also attending Higher Heights as terms of some deal or bet he made. I’m not sure exactly, but I can tell you that it looks like he knows about Ethan and Delilah’s past.”

“Hmm?” Eric Landing’s orbs pop open as he digests what he’s being told. An evil smirk floats across his face as he thinks about Howard Marshall and the thorn in his side he’s become. Of course, with his daughter Delilah, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. If only Ethan would take after him, his father, then he wouldn’t need to be worried so much. “Well, we can’t have any of that can we? Looks like I’ll have to look into this celebrity a bit to make sure he won’t be a hindrance to me or my son.”